Family Guy MC : Season 4
by Hero King Zeta 1991
Summary: The Fourth season to the possibly hit fanfic remake of the hit FOX show, Family Guy with new star character Emily Griffin. Enjoy! Cover by me (fmallque32561 on DeviantArt).
1. Family Guy MC Season 4 trailer

**Family Guy MC Season 4 trailer**

As we join Frank Jr walking towards his podium as he addresses the nation, while John and Tyler bring a metal brief case that looks like a nuclear missile button that blow up the planet while he is Head banging to a funky beat over the background.

 **Frank Jr**  
 _My fellow americans  
The time has come to summon all warriors back  
To engage in one for the ages, white and black  
Calling forth the army of the apocalypse  
More ready to go to war than Grandpa is_

As Frank Jr slams the button it really summons the Family Guy MC regular Recurring characters from sketches for a battle of apocalyptic proportions. As a batman signal appears in the sky with the MC Logo over a dark city.

 **John and Tyler** **  
** _What's up, Frank Jr, baby? Let me translate what he said  
We're gonna forehand and backhand your motherfucking head  
I'm calling all my bronies, so get back on that bus  
We didn't land on Quahog, it landed on us_

Then John and Tyler do dance moves while they translate what Frank Jr said, as move towards inside a football locker room hallway as two high school football players, Son Rage Mallquefrom the eastand Zeke _Maverick_ Swanson from the west as they notice the MC signal as they answer the call. Now appear on the screen as they broke the two-pump rule.

 **Frank Jr**  
 _This is the sound of a million voices rejoicing  
In the return of the almighty noiceness  
It's the time of the seasons of Mayor adam wests  
and guess in what mood of out commander in chief is_

Now we zoom in into Frank Jr, John and Tyler as he does he address with hand gestures and the scene over to John and Tyler does gangers hand gestures by showing his rings. The we zoom in at Son Menma Uzumaki at his job as a doctor, while he examines his patient who is an overweight black woman until his page buzzes. It shows the words where you at as the scene move to show Son Menma Uzumaki meditating as he floats in the air.

 **John and Tyler**  
 _We cut loose, and get drunk on Pawtucket booze  
Tackle and grapple, son, be back in a few  
Cause tonight we're gonna party like the party don't stop  
Put the pussy on the chainwax, wait for the drop_

Then the scene moves to John and Tyler moving his face back in forth while Frank Jr has his back while he punches in the air. The we move towards the scene as it shows where the Family Guy MC regular Recurring characters from sketches for a battle of apocalyptic proportions as Son Menma Uzumaki appears to join them on top of building in a Gotham like city but with blue and black colors. Then we go back toFrank Jr, John and Tyler keep switching back in forth as John and Tyler explains what Frank Jr said as the drop dubbed step comes in as they move towards the dubbed step.

 **Chorus**  
 _Family Guy MC, where you at? where you at?  
Family Guy MC, where you at?  
Family Guy MC, where you at? where you at?  
Family Guy MC, where you at?_

As we join Meg Griffin while she uses her full name as she acts like young woman angry at her equally loud, but far more intelligent and polite boyfriend, Frank Mallque Sr, who always pursues her from a club, but she won't let him near enough to make up. He tends to take the fall for the conflicts she starts with others. As They walk away from the club in Downtown quahog, Megan's watch glows as it shows the MC signal, then we zoom in to Megan and Frank Sr as she superman flies away leaving Frank Sr alone as he was diss by her. Then we zoom in the Family Guy MC characters as Meg and Frank Sr join in top of building in a Gotham like city but with blue and black colors, with Frank Sr fist bumping in the air to the beat.

 **Frank Jr**  
 _With the forgotten bags of a thousand pharaohs  
Let the end of the world and deserts strip the marrow  
And circle the bones like a hundred drones  
Or Brians' about to drop a duke on your home_

Frank Jr moving his face back in forth while John and Tyler have his back while he does his address with hand gestures in the air. Then we move towards the scene as it shows Negi Springfield type a story on the computer, until his brief case vibrate as he opens a brief case that holds a magic wand. The scene moves towards Negi as he flourish himself around in a circle with his magic wand.

 **John and Tyler**  
 _We say tuck it, tuck it, (Frank Jr: I'm in there, dog), tuck it  
Not quite sure what he's trying to say there, but fuck it  
Like a packet of Pawtucket sodie, but twice as delicious  
Like we told you all before, we said "bitches"_

Then we zoom in on John and Tyler as they embrace, hug and Frank Jr and vice versa as they try to lock their hug. As John and Tyler continued to translate what Frank Jr is saying, then scene move towards the Family Guy MC characters as Negi joins in. Then back towards Frank Jr, John and Tyler move towards the screen back in forth as John and Tyler looks left in right before saying " _We said "bitches"._ Then we all zoom in the Family Guy MC Regular Recurring characters from sketches of the show for a battle of apocalyptic proportions, they pose in where the three main character who help all these characters, Frank Mallque Jr, John Watts and Tyler Biteo points at them all cool like. _  
_

**Chorus**  
 _Family Guy MC, where you at? where you at?  
Family Guy MC, where you at?  
Family Guy MC, where you at? where you at?  
Family Guy MC, where you at?_

As Frank Jr moans to the beat as John and Tyler move back in forth the background then appears going up towards the screen. Then we zoom in towards Frank Sr, His family and the Family Guy MC cast characters as we zoom out showing them on top of a building as we see the city with the MC Signal appearing in the night sky. As Brian and Stewie appear on screen on the left to say

 **Brian and Stewie**  
 _Sexually..._


	2. Chapter 51: North by North Quahog

**Chapter 51: North by North Quahog**

Frank is addressing the family, who is sitting on the couch.

"Everybody, I got bad news: Family Guy JT and our show has been canceled!" Frank said the shocking news to the family.

"Oh, no! Frank, how could they do that?" Meg asked her husband in shock.

"Well, unfortunately, Meg, there's just no more room on the schedule for Grand Tome Publishing and Hero King Zeta 1991 to finished the shows. Tell them Pops!" Frank said as he turn to peter to explain on why

"We've just got to accept the fact that Fox has to make room for terrific shows like Dark Angel, Titus, Undeclared, Action, That 80's Show, Wonderfalls, Fastlane, Andy Richter Controls the Universe, Skin, Girl's Club, Cracking Up, The Pitts, Firefly, Get Real, Freaky Links, Wanda at Large, Costello, The Lone Gunmen, A Minute with Stan Hooper, Normal, Ohio, Pasadena, Harsh Realm, Keen Eddie, The Street, American Embassy, Cedric the Entertainer, The Tick, Luis, and Greg the Bunny." Peter said as he mentions are all shows that were canceled by FOX during the time that Family Guy itself was off the air, having been canceled.

When he gets to Greg the Bunny, he glances toward Chris. Seth Green, who voices Chris, also played Greg's human assistant on that show.

"Is there no hope?" Lois asked them if their show has hope for the future.

"Well, I suppose if all those shows go down the tubes we might have a shot." Peter said.

"Starting right now, hit it narrator!" Frank said as he shout at the show new narrator to start the show.

 **Narrator**  
 _Fresh out the net box  
Stop, look, and watch  
Ready yet, get set  
It's Family Guy!_

We see paparazzi taking photos of the cast as they come out of the limo and they walk on the red carpet.

 **Chorus:** **  
** _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

First it show Frank waling out of the limo with a poster with the words "oh" and he poses for the camera.

Then its shows Meg comes in looking all sexy as she signs autographs while she winks at the fans.

Then it turn to Lois comes in hopping while grabbing rose as she gives a kiss toward the fans.

 _Check it, check it, check it  
Now this is just an introduction  
Before I blow your mind  
The show is All of That and yes we do it all the time_

Then it shows Frank Jr poses as he pull his hat down his chest as he throws a rose to the Fans.

Then next person to show up on the carpet is Stewie. As he flips his hat back to his head while he give autographs to fans.

Then Brian comes in sliding on the red carpet as he waves at the fan as he walks in.

 _So sit your booty on the floor or in a chair  
Ground or in the air  
Just don't go nowhere_

Then Emily comes in give autographs as she smiles at the fans as she tells one of her fans to call her.

Then the scene shows Persephone puts a rose on her mouth with a sexy angry look on her face.

 _Cause everything we do  
It's all of that!  
When entertaining you  
We all of that!_

Then Chris shimming down the carp as he gives the fan a shout out.

Then Peter slide towards the carpet as he flips his hat back on his head.

 _My posse and my crew  
It's all of that!  
So sit still cause we're coming right back_

Then the scene shows John throws a rose at his fans.

As the scene, changes to Tyler puts on rose his mouth as he gives everyone thumbs up.

 _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!

Then scene change to the Family Guy MC Cast walks down the stairs as they take a group photo while looking gangsters of the 80. All this while music ends as the scene fades to black.

Now we join Peter, Frank and Frank Jr watching television, as Brian enters.

"What are you guys watching, Peter?" Brian asked Peter on what he is watching.

"Passion of the Christ." Frank Jr answered Brian question.

"I tell you, Brian, I can't believe that this guy is just lying there taking it." Frank question Jesus on taking the whipping like that.

"If it was me, I would have done something about it" Peter reply as he would do that event different than Jesus as he set up a cutaway.

 **Cutaway 1**

We see Peter being lashed with a cat-"o"-nine-tails.

"AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! Hey, hey, hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Stop it. Stop it" Peter screamed and ordered.

"OK" the guard said.

"OK?" Peter asked.

"OK" the guard answered.

"All right" Peter said.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join Lois and Meg as they enters the house threw the front door.

"Hi boys." Lois said as she and Meg greeted everyone in the living room.

"I didn't have my hands down my pants!" Frank Jr said aloud as he didn't touch himself.

"Hmmmm, good for you." Lois said as her question as to why Frank Jr said that. Since he is still young for that stuff.

"I and mom got ourselves some new sheets from Bed, Bath, and beyond." Meg said as she and Lois went to Bed, Bath, and beyond to get some new sheets.

"Oh boy, I hope you stayed away from the "Beyond" section." Peter said as he feel fear.

"Yeah, Frank Jr wasn't the same after going through that section." Frank reply as he set up a cutaway.

 **Cutaway**

Frank Jr enters the beyond section at a local retail store. He opens the doors and enters a space-time void. He screams.

"Oh here are the coffee mugs" he said.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join Frank and Meg are in bed. Frank is flipping through channels; Meg is reading a book. Meg puts down the book and leans over to Frank

"Honey, what do you say we, uh, christen these new sheets, huh?" Meg said

"Hi-hi-hi-hi! Why, Meg Griffin, you naughty girl." Frank said

"That's me." Meg said as she *giggles*

"You dirty hustler." Frank said

Meg chuckles

"You filthy, stinking prostitute." Frank said

"Haha-OK, I get it." Meg said

"You foul, venereal-disease-carrying, street-walking whore." Frank said

"All right, that is enough frank, I'm already wet down stairs!" Meg said

Frank and Meg's lovemaking is making a creaking noise, which others in the house can hear. Like Chris who hides in his covers, Persephone who hides in the closet and block her ears to stop noise. Both and John and Tyler were playing video games so they cannot hear shit that is from upstairs. As we join Frank Jr and Stewie is asleep. In their dreams, they associates the creaking with the creaking of their rocking chair.

"Aaaah, it's good to have land." Stewie says with Frank Jr nodding his head to that comment.

Now back at Frank's room as both Frank and Meg are making sex noises.

"Oh, oh... GEORGE!" Meg shouted another man's name, which stops Frank cold.

"George? Who the hell is George?!" Frank asked in confusion.

"George Clooney?" Meg said her answer.

"Our sex is so dull for you that you got to fantasize about George Clooney?" Frank said as he question her how bad the sex was that she thinks George Clooney.

"I'm sorry, honey, I guess that things have become a little stale for me." Meg said as hse thinks their rotini has gone stale.

"Well I, I don't know what to do, I mean I don't really know that much about any kinky stuff. I mean I, I could hook this car battery up to my nipples." Frank said as he hook a car battery up to his nipples and it shocked him.

"AH! AH! AH! AH! OH GOD! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! This doing it for ya? OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!" Frank said as he works through the pain.

"Oh, I don't know. I just don't feel that spark anymore; I mean... our honeymoon, ah so much rug-burn and that's how we had our son!" Meg said as she remembers their honeymoon. That event cause them conceive their first child.

"Wait a second, Meg, that's what we need. We'll go on a second honeymoon!" Frank said as he suggest they should go on a second honeymoon.

"*gasp* Frank, that's a wonderful idea!" Meg said as she hug him with love.

"Yeah, we'll be just like "The Honeymooners." Frank said as he set up another cutaway.

 **Cutaway**

The scene shifts to a scene of The Honeymooners.

"One of these days, Alice. One of these days" Ralph said.

"Yeah, yeah I know, Ralph; Right to the moon" Alice said as an audience laugh tracked is played. Ralph punched Alice in the face. The audience gasps and Ralph has shocked look on his face. He slowly backs towards the door and sprints out.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join the Mallque couple packing their stuff on Frank's car as they are going Hollywood for their honeymoon while Peter and Lois went Cape Cod on their honeymoon.

"Well that's everything. Now remember guys, both John, Tyler and Brian is in charge while your father and I are out at Cape Cod. Also while Frank and Meg are out at Hollywood." Lois said as she explain that the trio of John, Tyler and Brian are in charge while Peter and Lois are gone and Frank and Meg are leaving as they are going to Hollywood.

"I'll take good care of them, Lois; you guys have a good time." Brian said as both peter and Lois get in the car leave to Cape Cod.

"Bye." Group said their goodbyes.

"Bye, mom, I LOVE YOU!" Chris said his goodbye louder.

Then Frank and Meg leave to Hollywood as they wave goodbye to the family with Frank Jr stove away since he feel something off so he goes with his parents in secret.

"You know, Guys if I choose to make stool in my pants right now, you three are the only ones here to change me. What do you think of that? Hmmmmm?" Stewie said as he asked on what they are going to do about that.

"We're not going to change you." Brian said his response as he goes in the house.

"What?" Stewie said in shocked.

"He said we are not going to change you." John said as he and Tyler followed him.

"Oh you guys can't be serious. What if-what if i make a fudgie? Well I just won't. I just won't, that's all, I just won't. BLAST! I just did." Stewie said as he tries to not to poop until he did it without asking as he failed.

As we join Chris and Persephone running around the house as Persephone is trying to get away from Chris. Because he is putting buggers on her.

"AH! Chris, cut it out. Guys, Chris just picked his nose and he keeps touching me with his finger!" Persephone said as she runs up the stairs to get away.

"What good is mining nose gold if I can't share it with the townspeople?" Chris said as he chase her upstaire.

"I swear to god, these kids are going to make me put a bullet through my head." Brian said as Tyler agree with him as Stewie appears on the side of the couch.

"Well, if I were in charge, we would not be having this problem right now." Stewie said his response.

"Well, you've got some ideas, tell me." Tyler said as he asked him.

"Oh I'll tell you of course. I will want a favor in exchange." Stewie said as he gives an evil smile which made both Brian and Tyler nerves.

Now we join John, Tyler and Brian is changing Stewie.

"Ahahaha how does it smell, guys, does it smell like servitude?" Stewie laugh as john and Tyler threw away his dirty diaper.

"Ahaha! Aft torpedo's fire!" Stewie said as he pees on Brian, which piss off John and Tyler. They then pee on Stewie in revolt to get even.

Now the Mallque couple inside of Interior of their family car. Frank is driving and Meg is sleeping.

"Meg? Hey Meg, honey?" Sweetheart? Frank said as he tries to wake up Meg until he swerves the car so Meg hits her head on the window.

"Oh you are awake, hey, will you pass me the pretzels?" Frank asked her and she passes them.

"Frank, where are we?" Meg asking her husband on where they are?

"About two hours from Hollywood's most luxurious Bed & Breakfast." Frank said, as they are two hour away to Hollywood's famous Bed & breakfast.

"Oh, Frank, this is going to be so wonderful I'm so excited I want to fuck you while you drive right now." Meg said as she is getting turn on

"Hehehe. Gross." Frank Jr said as he grosses out from hearing that in the back of the car.

"Hey why don't you go back to sleep? I'll wake you when we get there." Frank said as he wake her up when they get there.

"Ok." Meg said as she went to sleep and Frank went back to driving.

While we turn to the back of the car, as Frank Jr talks to his watch.

 **(To everyone who reading this, Frank Jr gain an omnitrix During SEASON ONE when death was staying with THE FAMILY, while the world thinks that no one can die. Frank Jr was dare to jump off a tall building and suddenly a watch appeared on his right wrist, which cause him to transform into a masked warrior. He tried to activated during threw the season but it has not activated until now.)**

"Hey are you there?" Frank Jr asked the watch but no response. Until Frank notice Frank Jr, his son was in the back. He argue with him until Frank Jr slides a comic book up in front him threw his view of the windshield, so he cannot see where he's driving. The comic appears to have Jughead near a pile of hamburgers.

"Hehehehehe, look at all those hamburgers. You can't eat all those hamburgers, you stupid fellow-." Frank Jr said until Frank Jr realizes he is swerving off the road.

"Oh jeeze!" Frank said as he writes the car and then Frank Jr slides the comic back up.

"Oh! he's going to do it. Oh, he's so ridiculous. You hear me, you ridiculous man? You're –." Frank Jr said as he slides the comic back up.

"Whoa!" Frank said as he drive to a tree.

The car crashes into said tree. In addition, the crash woke up Meg and she notice Frank Jr. she realized that it was his and Frank fault for the crash.

"Frank, what the hell is wrong with you? In addition, Frank Jr, what the hell are you doing here? I fall asleep for ten minutes and you two plow the car into a tree? Oh my god Frank, you got to pay attention to the road! We could have been killed! Will you look at the front of our car? It's totaled, it's completely totaled! Oh this is terrific, how are we gonna get-oh my god, I knew I should have driven. I should always drive. I cannot trust you, Frank G Mallque!" Meg said as she rips them a new one.

During the above rant, Frank and Frank Jr starts to slide the comic book back up into their field of vision, this time blocking Meg agreement.

 **COMMERCIAL BREAK**

Now we see the Mallque Family finding a hotel to spend the night while their car gets fixed, Frank and Meg are in a rundown motel room.

"Dear God, this is where we're sleeping?" Meg said as she look around the room.

"Aw, come on Meg. They said they would have the car fixed by tomorrow and then our second honeymoons be right back on track, eh?" Frank said to reassures her.

"Frank, there's a hooker on the bed." Meg said as she encounter a hooker, much to her concern.

"Hi." Hooker said as they family stop moving.

"Stand perfectly still Meg!" Frank asked her to be still.

"Their vision is based on movement." Frank Jr said a reference to Jurassic Park in which the main protagonist has a similar line when they encounter a Tyrannosaurus, as well as a reference to the general concept of avoiding movement-based-visioned predators by remaining still.

"Where'd you go?" Hooker said as her vision is based on the tyrannosaurus.

Now we join Chris and Persephone are watching television in the living room.

"And now back to "Two and a Half Men" TV Announcer said.

Two and a Half Men appears to be about...two men and then half of another. The torso of the half man cries out.

"AAAAAAAAAH! Help me!" Torso shouted in pain while his friend freaks out.

"Change it Chris, I wanna watch George Lopez." Persephone said as she asked for the remote.

"That show only encourages the stereotype that George Lopez is funny." Chris said until Persephone takes the remote.

"Give me that." Chris said as he fights her for the remote.

"Chris give me the remote. Chris stop. Chris!" Persephone said as Chris grabs her jacket.

"*gasp* My Jacket!" Persephone said as he stuffs the hat down his pants.

"Ahahaha! Wear it now!" Chris said until she beats him into the floor.

"Hey, uh, uh, you two better settle down. Chris, give Persephone her jacket." Brian said

"I don't have to listen to you. You're a dog; you don't have a soul." Chris said something cruel.

"Ow." Brian said which also hurt both John and Tyler.

"Don't take that. Raise your voice to them." Stewie said as he tells Brian to raise his voice.

"HEY! Knock it off!" Brian shouted as both Chris and Persephone immediately behave.

"You guys are obviously in need of some type of activity, so uh I don't know what you say we read a book or something." John said as everyone takes a seat on the couch.

"Stewie, what does Peter have on his bookshelf?" Brian asked him about what is on the bookshelf.

"Uh, two "Garfield" books and the novelization of the movie "Caddy shack." Stewie said

Now Brain is Reading to everyone the book caddy shack.

"Nananananananananana," said Ty sinking yet another ball."Nananananananananana." Brian said as the phone rings.

"Oh hang on." Brian said as he goes to the kitchen.

"Oh thank god." Persephone said until Stewie brings one of the Garfield comic books.

"Reading Garfield at Large by Jim Davis. Now as you can see in this panel, Garfield doesn't care for Nermal. But like him or not, Nermal is here to stay! Or is he? Let's read on." Stewie said as Brian in the kitchen while he is over phone.

"OK, I'll be there." Brian said as he turns to Stewie.

"Peter and Lois were supposed to chaperone Chris's school dance tomorrow night. So I guess it's up to me." Brian said until Stewie interrupts him.

"You mean it's up to us. Clearly you need my help with this parenting thing you're too stupid to do it alone. Besides, I know how to deal with children unlike Mr. Gepetto." Stewie said as he set ups a cutaway.

 **Cutaway**

The scene shifts to a scene in Pinocchio.

"Oh no, I dropped my glasses" Gepetto said as he bends over, away from Pinocchio, to pick them up.

"Uh, by the way, Pinocchio, there was a cookie missing from the jar. Did you, uh did you take it by any chance?" Gepetto asked.

"Yes, papa Gepetto, I'm sorry" Pinocchio apologized.

"Are you sure you took it? Because I'd believe you if you said you didn't" Gepetto asked again.

"No I took it, papa. I wouldn't lie to you." Pinocchio explained.

"You could try and, who knows, you might get away with it." Gepetto suggested.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join Frank, Meg and their son Frank Jr inside a diner.

"900 bucks to fix the car that was all the money we had for this trip." Frank said as he mope in to the table,

The second honeymoon was a special thought but maybe we should just go home. Meg said as she rubs his back while Frank Jr feels bad for ruin this trip. Now he turn to the TV on the ceiling, which is playing the channel 6 news.

"Coming up, handsome mustachioed man recaps news in pleasing baritone. Stay tuned for this and more." Tom Tucker said his report

"But first, Asian reporter Tricia Takanawa is on hand for the opening of Manhattan's newest luxury hotel." Diane Simmons said as she turn to Tricia Takanawa who is in New York to tell her side story.

"Diane, I'm standing outside the Park Barrington Hotel, because they don't allow Asians inside." Tricia Takanawa said as she outside the Park Barrington Hotel and they do not let her in.

"Fancy place. Boy that would make some second honeymoon, huh?" Frank Jr said, as that hotel will be a great honeymoon for his parents.

"The Park Barrington is already attracting some big names, such as Christianity enthusiast Mel Gibson who has his own room on permanent reserve. A room, which he barely uses." Tricia Takanawa said as she tells the people that Mel Gibson has a room in the park Barrington permanent reserve and he does not used.

"Barely uses, huh?" Frank Jr said as he puts on a question face then gets an idea and makes a plan.

"Mom, dad, I just got an idea much better than that time Pops experimented with gene splicing." Frank Jr said as he gotten an idea and he put on a cutaway about Peter.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter entering the kitchen with a moose head.

"Uh, Lois, quick question: do we have any Tylenol?" he asked.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we cut to Chris's school dance with John, Tyler, Brian and Stewie chaperon it.

"Oh, how I envy them, Guys." Stewie said as he talk to the guys about envy the kids in school.

"They've got their whole lives ahead of them." Tyler said as he envy them as well.

"Oh man, look at that kid. That is one ugly eighth grader." Brian said as he points at Herbert hang out with kids.

"You don't want to hurt yourself dancing. Make sure you stretch out those creamy hamstrings." Herbert said as he tries to get in their pants.

Meanwhile in the Interior of the men's room.

"Come on Chris its just vodka. Jake swiped it from his dad's liquor cabinet." Friend said as he dares him to drink the vodka.

"Yeah, see? it's good!" Jake said as he drinks a sip.

"Well, OK maybe just one sip." Chris said as he tries to drink a sip until he caught with liquor by the teacher.

"Christopher Griffin, is that alcohol? Mister, you are in serious trouble." Teacher said as a member of G.I. Joe appears from one of stalls.

He's absolutely right, kids, because when you drink nobody wins. In fact last year alone there were over 27,000 deaths from chronic liver disease as a result of alcohol abuse. G.I. Joe said as he telling the students of Buddy Cianci Junior High School not to drink alcohol.

"Now we know!" Kids said as we turn to G.I. Joe.

"And knowing is half the battle!" G.I. Joe said as the G.I. Joe song was sang while everyone the restroom cheered.

 _ **GI JOOOOOE!**_

Now we join the Mallque family entering The Park Barrington.

"Frank, we can't afford this." Meg said as she worried that they can't afford a room.

"No, but Mel Gibson can." Frank said as Frank Jr Puts on hat, flips up collar, and approaches desk

"Uh, excuse me, I'm Mel Gibson here for the key to my specially reserved room." Frank Jr asking the clerk for Mel Gibson room for his family.

"You're Mel Gibson?" Clerk asking Frank Jr if he is Mel Gibson.

"Yes, I've lose a few pounds for my next role. I play Goruto Uzumaki a heroic warrior who defied the evil empire, to free humanity from them." Frank Jr said a lie about a movie about his father's other name and his journey to fight evil.

"Holy mackerel! Let me show you to your room, Mr. Gibson." Clerk said as he gives Frank Jr the keys to the room.

Meanwhile we join the mallque's, in Mel Gibson's room.

"Guys, the toilet paper is made of money." Meg said as she came out of the bathroom.

"Yeah, and look at this: they even have some of that high-class English porn." Frank said as he and his son watch porn on the TV.

"Almost...almost...almost...there we are." Man on TV said as he reach relation.

"Well done." Woman on TV said, as she is satisfied.

Now we cut to John, Tyler, Brian and Stewie lecturing Chris in the car.'

"Did you think you were "cool"?" John shouted at Chris from back of the car.

"Did you think you were "grown-up"?" Stewie said as he too shouted at Chris from back of the car.

"I didn't actually drink any of it. Besides, Jake Tucker gave it to me." Chris said as he tells them that it was Jake tucker fault.

"Well, we are going to have a talk with Jake's parents tomorrow after dinner and Stewie's burping." John said as he tells him that they will talk to Jake's parent tomorrow.

"In the meantime, you're grounded." Brian said as he grounds him for being there in the first place while he is driving.

"Aw, that sucks." Chris moan in complaints for his punishment.

"Do you want us to pull over?" Tyler said, as he will asked Brian to pull over.

"I don't care what you do." Chris said as he dares them to try.

"Oh we'll pull over. We'll pull over. Pull over." Stewie said as he is had it and asked brian to pull over.

Now we see John, Tyler and Stewie are taking turns to spanking Chris. While Brian takes a smoke from the front of the car.

"AAH! ahaha! WAAAAH!" Chris cries in pain from the spanking from the trio.

"If your teachers ask about your bruises, what do you tell them?" John and Tyler asked chris on what he is going to say about his bruises to his teachers.

"I got hit by a baseball! WAAAAAAH! aaaah!" Chris said his answer.

"Good, I am tired of your bms man!" Stewie said as everyone return to the car and go home.

Now we cut to Meg and Frank in the Gibson suite as they make love in the dark.

"Heheheheh!" Frank said as he doing he love making.

"Ooooooh, Mel!" Meg said as she calls out Gibson's name, which stops Frank.

As Frank turns on the light.

"Mel? Wait a minute, you were fantasizing about Mel Gibson. You-you don't find me attractive anymore." Frank said as he seeing that their honeymoon idea is not working as he hoped.

"Honey, I'm sorry, I know you're trying but you can't rush the spark back into our marriage." Meg said as she tries to cheer him up but fails.

"Well, then I guess this whole second honeymoon was a waste of time. I don't want to talk about it. I'm just going to watch British porn." Frank said as he turn on the TV to watch the British porn. As we see the British couple in their living room reading.

"You know, Maragaret, we could have sexual intercourse right now." Man on TV said as he asked her for sex again.

"Yes, yes, we could." Woman on TV said as she agrees with him.

"Hmmm, but let's not." Man on TV said, as he is not ready.

While Frank Jr heard what happen form behind the door, as he feels guiltier. He went to bed trying to sleep as his omnitrix glow as he sleeps.

Now we join John and Tyler in the Griffin bed. As Tyler writes a story that, he is working on, while john plays super Mario on his Gameboy color.

"Do you think we were too hard on Chris tonight?" Tyler asked john if they went too far with Chris punishment.

"What? oh no no no I don't think so. Do you?" John said as he asked him the same question.

"Oh no, I just always feel bad when we have to be strict." Tyler said as he answer the question.

Now we cut to Stewie and Brian in bed. As Brain reads a book while Stewie is sewing a cozy with a Die Lois logo.

"Ah, did I remember to turn the stove off? Yes." Stewie said as he question if he turn off the stove off.

Now we cut to Meg, Frank Jr and Frank in the Gibson suite.

"I'm sorry for everything that's happened, Frank. I guess I'm going through a phase right now where I'm only attracted to handsome men." Meg said as they are about to leave.

"Well, what are we supposed to do, Meg, just admit that there's no excitement left in our marriage, go home and spend the rest of our lives looking at each other across the breakfast table talking about how much we both like Total?" Frank said as he feels that he give up and realized that they will only talk about is the cereal "total."

Oh, I love Total. Meg said as she like that cereal.

"Ooooh, actually, so do I, and it's healthy for you too!" Frank and Frank Jr said as they like total too until they realized they are started what Frank said.

"Oh god it's starting' already. Meg we are screwed." Frank said as he accidentally stumbles upon Gibson's private screening room.

"Woooow. Mel Gibson's secret screenin' room!" Meg said in awe.

"Hey, what's this?" Frank said as he starts playing the reel. It's a movie trailer.

"In the year 33 AD." Announcer said as a man slides back a rock.

"The messiah! He's gone!" Guy said as he notice that Jesus is gone from the cave.

"Where did he go?" Other person asking him as we zoom in to Jesus.

As we see Chris Tucker and Jesus in a car in a high speed action sequence.

"Hang on." Jesus said as he drives the car.

"Man you crazy, Jesus! You crazy!" Chris Tucker said as he complains to Jesus.

"That's what my ex-wife said." Jesus said his response as Chris talks like his wife.

"For the son of God, you sure are the son of a-WHoooaa!" Chris Tucker said as they crash into a trunks and going through it.

"Chris Tucker. And Jim Ca-Caziva-Cav-Caviziel? Is that it? The guy from the first one? Passion of the Christ 2: Crucify This!" Announcer said.

As it shows Jesus in a gunfight with someone as he hide behind wooden boxes

While Jesus holds a gun out for Chris Tucker.

"You know how to use one of these?" Jesus asked Chris if he used a gun.

As Chris Tucker holds a joint out for Jesus.

"You know how to use one of these?" Chris Tucker asked him if he does drugs.

"This July, let he who is without sin kick the first ass." Announcer said as the trailer ends which piss of both father and son of the mallque's.

"Oh man, that's all we need? More Mel Gibson Jesus mumbo jumbo." Frank Jr said as he complains about Mel Gibson stupid movies.

"Well, not if I have anything to say about it. I am going to make sure this never sees the light of day." Frank said as he takes the film out of the projector.

"Frank, are you crazy? Stealing Mel Gibson's towels, bathrobes, and Nazi paraphernalia is one thing, but this is a multi-million dollar film and he is a very powerful man he could have us arrested or killed." Meg said as she warns them that messing with Mel Gibson is a bad idea.

"Well it's worth the risk, Mom. To save the world another 2 hours of torture." Frank Jr said as he agrees with his father.

"We've got to get rid of this thing for the sake of Jesus and Snoopy and all the other beloved children's characters." Frank said as in order to spare the world from "another two hours of torture," Frank steals the film.

As the two are leaving the hotel, two priests, who are Gibson's sidekicks, who were there to pick up the film.

"Pardon me. We work for Mel Gibson. Seems he left something very valuable in his room and we're here to retrieve it." Priest said.

"Mr. Gibson just checked out a moment ago. There he goes now." Clerk said as two priests spot them.

"Uh-oh. Guys, run." Frank said as they ran toward the exist.

"Hey! Stop!" Priest said as He flings his collar, which has blades on either end.

Both Meg, Frank Jr and Frank exit out the door and the two priests pursue them.

As Tricia Takanawa enters the building, but she was busted by the clerk.

"Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah." Clerk said as he stops her.

Then Tricia turns around with her head hung and exits.

 **Commercial Break**

Now we join the Mallque family driving away with the film.

"They're gaining on us. Oh, we never should've stolen this film." Meg said as she panics for stealing the film.

"Oh, man. This is even more intense than that time Pops forgot how to sit down." Frank said as he set up a cutaway about Peter.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter approaching a chair and staring at it. After a moment of pondering, he leaps at it, breaking the chair and contorting his limbs.

 **Cutaway Ends**

"Don't worry, Meg, I think I know how to lose em." Frank said.

Now turn to a Blues Brothers chase scene through the mall. Which is similar to a scene in The Blues Brothers. The priests are pursuing both Frank, Frank Jr and Meg. They took a reckless route through a mall in an attempt to lose them.

The parody even uses the music "I Can't Turn You Loose" from the original scene.

"Frank, what the hell are you doing?" Meg said in the car in panic.

"Meg trust me. How many times have I done this before?" Frank asking her bout the many times he done this.

"All right, but be careful." Meg said, as they went through the mall and they pass a piano.

The priests were not lucky, they crash threw it and they were flip upside down. Both Meg, Frank Jr and Frank escape out of the mall.

Meanwhile we join John, Tyler, Brian and Stewie are outside Tom Tuckers house. Brian rings the bell.

"OK, now be polite. Dude!" John said as he tells what to do.

"And for God's sake do not mention anything about his kid's face." Brian said as he tells Stewie to behave himself.

"Oh, shut up. I am always so polite." Stewie said as he tells them that he is polite.

"Heh, I hope we dont wind up on the evening news because of this." Tyler said

"He he he. You're funny." Stewie said as he laughs at Tyler joke, while tom tucker opens the door.

"Ah Brian! Please come in." Tom Tucker said as he lets them inside his house where it has allots picture of Tom.

"Can my wife, Stacy get you anything?" Tom Tucker said as he wife pass by looking like a worn out hooker.

"Go to hell, Tom." Stacy Tucker said as she pass tom while insulting him.

"Already there, hon." Tom Tucker said as he paid no mind.

"Well, uh, Mr. Tucker it seems your son Jake had some vodka at the school dance and Chris got blamed for it. This, uh, this whole situation has turned his life upside-down face." Brian said as he made a mistake about talking about Jake's face.

Then both John, Tyler and Stewie slowly gives Brian an awkward glare.

"Well it's no concern of mine if it turned his life upside-down face. Jakes a good boy, aren't you Jake?" Tom Tucker said, as he believes that his son is a good boy.

"Yeah!" Jake Tucker said his response.

"Look Mr. Tucker I..." Brian said as he tries to get a word in until tom interrupts him.

"We're though here. Get out of my house Benji and your super Mario bros too!" Tom Tucker said as he insults both Brian, John and Tyler.

"Well fine, if you're going to be that way about it maybe I'll do this." Brian said.

As Brian begins scooting around on the carpet. While John and Tyler jump around like Mario and Luigi.

"Yeah, look at this." Tyler said as he smashes some picture.

"Stop that! Tom Tucker said in anger.

"Oh yeah, you don't like that." John said as he hammers some koopas on his carpet.

"Stop doing that on my carpet." Tom Tucker said as he panics.

"This is what Benji would do." Brian said as he scooting around on the carpet very hard.

"Stop it! Stop it!" Tom Tucker said as he is not enjoying this.

"It feels so good, it feels so good." Brian said as he scooting around on the carpet very hard.

Now we cut to Brian & Stewie driving in the car.

"There's got to be a way to get back at Jake Tucker for what he did to Chris." Brian said as he drives the car. While tyler was think then he got an idea and he whispers it to stewie's ear.

Tyler know what to do, let's plant drugs in his locker. Stewie said

"Oh my god, that's a great idea." Brian said as he agrees with this idea.

"I thought you'd like that. Because I like it too!" Tyler said as John nod a good job to Tyler.

"Hey look at that Yosemite Sam mudflap. You better stay back Brian. Nyeeeh." Stewie said

Now we are back to Frank, Frank Jr & Meg in the car.

"*sigh* Think we lost 'em." Frank said as he look around and see no priest.

"You stay here I'm gunna go bury this film." Frank Jr said as he went outside.

Now we see Frank Jr begins to bury the film.

"Well Mel Gibson, this is one piece of crap the world will never have to suffer through. Hehehehe, I am so clever. That's why they picked me and Grandpa to convince Congress to go to war." Frank Jr said as he sets up a cutaway about himself and Peter in congress.

 **Cutaway**

The scene shifts to the House of Representatives.

"There is no just cause for an invasion of Iraq" the man in podium said.

"Well that may be, dude!" Peter said as he and Frank Jr rise from their seats.

"but what we're all forgetting is anyone who doesn't want to go to war, is totally gay" Frank suggested as everyone in congress begins to panic.

"I want to go to war." one Congressman said.

Oh yes, yes, yes, yes." all of Congress agreed.

"I was the first one who wanted to go to war!" the Speaker of the House shouted.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Cut back to Frank Jr who looks off into the distance only to see a plane heading towards him?

As Frank Jr runs to his dad as they running away from the plane

"AAAH!" Frank Jr and Frank yelled while running.

As the plane lands and two priests apprehend Meg from the car.

"Aaaah! Frank, Frank Jr!" Meg shouted, as she is force to enter the plane.

"Meg/Mom!" Frank Jr and Frank yelled as Plane takes off leaving behind a note.

The note says, Bring the film to my house on the top of Mount Rushmore in three days, or your wife dies -M. Gibson (camera pans down) Also, don't miss "Bird on a Wire", Tuesday night on TBS Superstation." (The letter is in all caps).

Now we cut to Mount Rushmore, zooming in on Mel Gibson's home.

"Don't take this personally Mrs. Mallque. I'm doing this because I have to." Mel Gibson said as he tells why he has her.

"What are you gonna do?" Meg said in worried until he get turn on.

"Oh, what are you gonna do to me?" Meg said in seductive tone.

"As soon as your husband gives me what I want, you're free to go." Mel Gibson said.

As Frank busts in through the door.

"Anybody home?" Frank said all dramatically

"*gasp* Frank!" Meg said in relief as she hugs him.

"All right, Gibson I want my wife back...or a clone of equal physical attractiveness." Frank said his demands.

"Where's the film?" Mel Gibson asking where his film.

As Frank throws film to Gibson's feet. He get his wife on his side of the room.

"Come on, honey let's get out of here." Frank said as he pull Meg toward the door.

"Frank, you're just going to give him the film?" Meg question him on give up the film.

"Don't worry Meg there is a dog turd in there, but by the time he finds out well be long go-." Frank said as he explain his plan.

"There's a dog turd in here." Mel Gibson said as he discovers that the film has been replaced with dog feces.

"Uh-oh. Meg..." Frank said in panic tone.

"What?" Meg said in equal panic tone.

"Jump!" Frank said.

As both Frank and Meg jump out a glass window of Mel Gibson House.

"Aaaah!" Frank & Meg said as they ran toward the forest.

Now we cut back to Mel Gibson as his two priest goons prepare to chase Frank & Meg

"No, wait! I'll deal with them myself." Mel Gibson said as he will deal with them himself.

As he pulls out gun and fires the lock off the safe. The he drops gun only to open safe and withdraw another gun.

Now we cut to Frank & Meg on top of Mount Rushmore

"We're on top of the monument." Meg said as she look around in awe.

"Holy crap!" Frank said as he look down.

Until Mel Gibson fires towards them.

"Ah!" Frank & Meg shouted in panic.

As both Frank & Meg begin to scale down Mount Rushmore only to be fired at again.

"You know I know this is the wrong time to be star-struck but Mel Gibson is shooting at us." Frank said he being star struck.

As Meg falls while screaming barely grasping hold of George Washington's upper lip.

"Frank help!" Meg shouted for her husband to help her.

"Aw, man. I'm coming' Meg." Frank said as he climbs down to get her.

As Frank begins to dangle on George Washington's nose.

"Heheheheh. Look, Meg I'm a booger. Heheheheh." Frank said as he dangles like a booger.

"Frank for god's sake, help me." Meg shouted to help her faster.

"Ok, Ok, grab my hand." Frank said as he reaches for Meg's hand.

Mel Gibson appears and cocks his gun.

"*gasp*" Frank & Meg both gasp in shocked.

"And now Mr. Mallque, I want that film." Mel Gibson said as he asked him again for his film.

"Oh sure it's right over there in President Rushmore's mouth." Frank said as his point to Rushmore's head.

Then Mel Gibson turns and walks over the edge falling to his death.

"Oh my god, he just walked right over the edge." Meg said in shocked on what happened.

"Of course he did, Christians don't believe in gravity." Frank said as he explain that Mel Gibson is a hard Christian and like them, he does not believe in science of gravity.

Frank & Meg climb back to the top of Mount Rushmore.

"Frank it's back." Meg said as her spark is back.

"What that rash?" Frank asked a stupid question.

"No, no, the spark. Honey I have never been more attracted to you than I am right now." Meg said as she finally feels the love of her husband right now.

"Really wow, so I guess this honeymoon was just the kind of excitement our marriage needed. I guess it just goes to show that..." Frank said as he rambles about what he learn but Meg stops him.

Shut up and let's do it. Meg said as she undress her and kisses Frank.

Camera pans out to full view of Mount Rushmore. As the two make love on George Washington's head, bringing the spark back to their marriage.

Frank started to slowly push his pelvis in and out of his lover who grunted in pain.

Frank's above average penis stretched her vaginal walls with each thrust and the Rhode Island girl clenched her legs around the beautiful young man's waist and kept him in place as he continued to thrust into her as he picked up his paste, and her pain started to turn to pleasure.

Frank moved his hips in rhythm with the American teenager that moved to match his thrusts.

Meg held her eyes closed in bliss and she fully enjoyed the love and physical pleasure that she was thankfully finally on the receiving end on. She added as her nails scratched her lover's back.

Frank felt his end approaching.

"How close are you?" He asked as he leaned forward and started to kiss and suck on his lover's neck.

"Clooose." Meg moaned as she ran her fingers through her lover's hair and tightened her legs grip on her lover.

Frank went to work on making his lover cum before him as his hands played with her b-cup breasts and his thumbs made sure to give extra attention to her perky nipples that ached for any and all attention offered.

"I can't hold it!" Frank declared as he felt his end nearing and he went into overdrive to satisfy his lover.

But even in his new life he is the same unathletic student.

"I'm going to cum!" Frank said.

"Me too!" Meg replied as she felt her lover ejaculate and ropes of semen shot into her womb.

"Oh, oh, oh Frank!" Meg said as she orgasmed as her lover came into her.

YES! Frank said as the two teenager's finish their climaxing as the young man fell onto his back and the young woman instinctively moved her body to grab a hold of her lover.

"Hey Jefferson check it out. Chick gettin nailed on my head." George Washington said as he and the other head were awake and alive.

"Sweet. Hey Teddy pass the word down to Frankenstein." Thomas Jefferson said as asked teddy to pass the word to Abe and he makes fun of him.

Oh ha ha. Abraham Lincoln said as he laughs sarcastically.

Until Frank Jr notice that Mel Gibson rise from his doom as a monster with an evil golden aura.

"Damn it what should I do?" Frank Jr said as he panics on what to do.

"You desire the power to change things." a voice said, as Frank Jr turned around to see a man standing behind the structure, book opened up and hood still covering his face. "Then there is only one choice. Become Warrior Emperor again."

"I'm sorry?" Frank Jr asked, walking over to him. "But how the hell is that a reasonable point of connection to this moment?"

"Frank!" Meg shouted, as Frank Jr turned around, seeing Meg run with her husband.

"No!" Frank Jr shouted, as he taking a step before Frank Jr felt a hand grab his shoulder. He turned around, as the mysterious man took his hand off his shoulder.

"Hero-Core's power is unrivaled throughout time, space and the Omniverse itself." the man said, taking his hood off.

"Use that power, and the world, including the past and future, will be yours to shape." The man reply.

"...But that power… Warrior Emperor … My destiny… is to become him… isn't it?" Frank Jr asked, looking at the man. "The most evil overlord of all time?"

"You're well informed." The Man said, smiling. "My overlord, this is your destiny."

"Meg, get out of there!" Frank shouted, as Frank Jr looked over to see Meg pinned down by one of the Priest's feathers.

"I'm trying!" Meg Shouted, tugging at her cloak.

"...My destiny… is to a king then…" Frank Jr said, letting out a breath, as time seemed to slow around me. "...Fine then. My mind is made up. If that is indeed my destiny, to become this… Warrior Emperor … then so be it." Frank Jr shouted.

The man smiled, before he laughed. "But just because my end point is decided, does not mean the road towards it is the same! My destiny is to be king? Fine then, I accept that. With that said, I swear, I will carve a path to my destiny, not to become that king of evil, but to become the kind hearted king, and create a world where no one has to fight. I will be the nicest king to ever walk this earth. So then, _destiny_ , if you're calling for me right now, then I'm picking up the god damn phone!" Frank Jr yelled, taking the blank Omnitrix core out of the Holder, clenching it tight. I looked down, a red holographic clock forming on the face of the core, as two red clock hands turned around a full 360 degrees, the core glowing brighter in a matter of seconds.

As the light faded, the core had finally activated. The dial like front of the Watch core had changed to a pure red, with the main body keeping a blackish grey. The front of the Watch had the numbers 2018 on it and a strange symbol on it as well. This was the Hero-Core Warrior Watch.

"This is for you, my overlord." Said the man, kneeling to Frank Jr left, as he held out a red pillow, a strange item sitting atop of it. "You should know how to use it."

He picked up the item, looking it over. I knew what this was. A driver. It was red and grey in colour, the front of the driver had a built in display screen, with a slot protruding on left side of the driver for inserting Hero-Core Watches. I looked ahead, seeing the Mel Gibson close in on his Dad.

Frank Jr walked back towards the group, as he saw Frank run back with Meg.

"Well that's good." Frank Jr said.

"Guys? That thing's circling back! What are we gonna do?" Meg asked.

"Run and live - that's an idea I can get behind!" Frank said.

As Meg ran over to the car, Frank walked up to me.

"Hey Frank Jr… what's with that… thing?" he asked. he raised up the Omni Driver, and smiled.

"You'll see." Frank Jr said, as Meg walked back.

"Dad, don't ever do that again please." Frank Jr said in worried tone.

"I got it." Frank said, before he noticed the driver. "... Frank Jr… is that what I think it is."

"Give me a moment dad." Frank Jr said, turning to see the glowing Mel Gibson walking toward them. "I might need to get serious."

"No time… like the present!" Frank Jr exclaimed, as he slapping the Omni Driver against his waist as a belt ejected out of the driver, wrapping around the waist and tightening to a firm fit.

 _ **[OMNI DRIVER!]**_

"Dad… I'm going to show you my cool Henshin, so watch." Frank Jr said as He held out the Warrior Watch to my side, as I twisted the dial so the arrow pointed to the left. I pressed down on the top button with my index finger as the Hero-Core Watch activated.

 _ **{HERO-CORE!}**_

A digital hologram of a Megaman Star-Force helmet appeared on the front of the Watch before it dissipated. Frank Jr smiled, as He slotted the Hero-Core Watch on the Omnitrix, which is, attach to his right arm. What sounded like a clock ticking started to echo around him, as he let a breath out.

"Let's go." Frank Jr said, pressing down on a button sitting on the top of the driver, as the main body of the driver turning counterclockwise by a few degrees. Frank Jr raised my arms up to the left, before he moved them over his head as they eventually landed into position. My left hand held raised to slam the core in into the watch attach to his right arm.

While all of this was happening, a giant holographic clock formed behind me, different gears decorated the outside, as the hands turning around as it awaited my transformation.

" _ **HENSHIN!**_ " Frank Jr shouted, he slammed his core down, initiating the transformation sequence. I quickly brought my arms in front of me in an X pattern, before bringing them down to my sides, the sound of a bell being rung echoed around him.

 _ **[HERO TIME!]**_

 _ **{KEYBLADE WARRIOR! HERO-CORE!}**_

The hands on the holographic clock slammed together at the twelfth position, before the they split to the sides, the small hand landing at 10, while the big hand settled at 2. The helmet formed under the hands on the clock, as it pulsed outwards, launching said characters ahead of him.

As this was happening three bands that resembled watch straps circled around, forming the Hero-Core armor. They dissipated soon after, and then a red visor appears on his face to complete.

"WHAT!" Frank exclaimed, his shock overpowering the sound of the other's reacting to his Henshin.

"Rejoice!" Proclaimed the man, as he stepped into view of the others. "He is the heir to the power of all heroes! The lord of omniverse, traveling beyond time and space to reign over past and future…"

"His name is Keyblade Warrior! Hero-Core and you have borne witness to the dawn of his advent." The man finished, slamming the book closed with an audible slam.

Frank Jr raised my left arm, putting my left hand against the decorative watch crown on the left side of my head, as I made a motion of adjusting it. "It's Time…" I began, before flicking my hand out, twisting my hand so the back of my hand faced forwards; pointing my index finger up into the air with my thumb jabbed outwards. My right arm hanging to the side at the ready. "To brawl!"

"THAT IS SO COOL!" Meg shouted from behind me.

"...Heir to the power of all heroes?" Frank said As Frank Jr looked back at Frank.

"...Yeah, explanation for all of you later as well… I guess." Frank Jr said, as he stretching in the armor.

"Wow does this feel weird. Not bad, just… different." Frank said about his armor.

"We got company!" Frank Shouted, as I looked up, seeing the heartless flying above us.

"Man these guys do NOT give up!" Frank Jr shouted, as he slid behind a broken stone structure. He looked over to see the heartless perched on a pillar above us.

"Well, _that's_ great!" Meg said, about as annoyed as the rest of us.

"Oh man, RUN!" the watch exclaimed, as Frank Jr turned around to see Mel Gibson burst onto the scene from the trees.

"Oh, of COURSE he's here to!" Frank Jr shouted, vaulting over my hiding place.

"Meg! Distract it!" Frank Shouted.

Meg smirks, running out of her hiding place. The heartless swings its wings in their general direction, but Meg dodges the feather projectiles with ease. As she dodged the last feather, she reaching behind her back, grabbing her weapon, a grenade launcher from the look of it, and launching several heart-topped shells at the Big Freakin' Bird. Her grenades busted into pink electricity as they slammed into the heartless's side, as it let out a screech, choosing retreating to be the better option.

"Behind you!" Frank Jr shouted to Meg, as she turned around just in time to see his father, Frank slashing at Mel Gibson's outer shell in a cross pattern. Meg jumps next to Frank, creating a glyph beneath the both of them, as they jumped off to safety.

"Go! Go!" Frank shouted, as they charged over top of the stone bridge. Frank Jr looked to the right just in time to see the heartless slam into the middle of the bridged, creating a gap in the middle. He felt the ground give way, before he felt something tug behind me, as he was pulled onto safe ground.

Frank Jr looked up, nodding to Frank in thanks.

"Close one, huh?" Frank Jr asked, as he stood up, dusting off my armor.

"Okay, what now?" Frank Jr asked his father, on what to do next.

"We get to higher ground." Frank said, as he pointing to the dilapidated tower.

Frank smirked, as he running forwards before him jumping up, and then using his gauntlets as a boost.

"Fair enough." he said, running ahead and jumping. The next thing I knew I had slammed into the side of the tower. "Ow."

"You alright?" Frank asked, as Frank Jr got his bearings.

"Yeah… Just don't know the kind of strength I have in this form…" Frank Jr said, as he saw Meg join them. "I take it Birdy is ours then."

Frank Jr looked at the heartless.

"It's tougher than it looks!" She said, as Frank smirked, activating his gauntlets.

"Then let's hit it with everything we got!" Frank said.

"One sec." Frank Jr said, letting out a breath. Frank Jr looked at the Driver. "Please work…"

" _ **KEYBLADE!**_ " the driver shouted, as Frank Jr holding his hand out.

A Bright light emerged from my driver, moving outwards in front of my outstretched hand.

In a flash, a Keyblade materialized from the light, and appeared in his hand.

The Keyblade guard of the Starlight is a recoloration of the classic Kingdom Key's guard; it is a deep, pastel blue color while the handle itself is a deep indigo. The shaft is light-blue and rounded, ending with an orb past the teeth, which are formed by a spike and a five-pointed star of the same color; this results in the Keyblade having a double-edged appearance in a similar matter to Ends of the Earth. A gold rainguard is at the bottom of the bar. The Keychain is a five-pointed gold star and it is attached to the hilt of the Keyblade with a silver chain.

 _ **[KEYBLADE!]**_

 _ **[STARLIGHT!]**_

"Oh good, that works." Frank Jr said, as he grabbing the front of the sword. "Good thing about this thing…" he changes the Keyblade form, turns to it's the gun form of the weapon.

 _ **[GUN!]**_

"Is that it's also a gun!" Frank Jr shouted, pulling the trigger. The blast slammed into the Heartless, but didn't appear to do much damage. The other two joined in on our ranged fight, firing shot after shot but our attacks only seemed to be dodged our to have been taken in harmless stride.

"Look out!" Frank Jr shouted, Jumping up high just as the Heartless slammed into the tower. Frank Jr looked down to see Frank and Meg all jumping from block to block, a feat he would not be able to accomplish as he is now. "Never thought about using it like this…"

He tossed the Keyblade to the side, the Keyblade dispersing into particles for me to recall later, as Frank Jr pressed down on the button on my Hero-Core Warrior Watch.

 _ **{FINISH TIME!}**_

He pressed down on the top button of the driver, before I pressed my thumb on the right slot, and pushed, spinning the core inside the driver around. The bell sounded again, as I kicked my foot out.

 _ **{LIMIT BREAK!}**_

Frank Jr flew forwards, sliding onto the stone next to Frank. he grabbed my hand to help me up. Frank Jr smiled. "Yeah… using a Rider Kick to get out of harm's way… who'd of thought?" Frank Jr said, smirking under my helmet.

"None of this is working!" Meg shouted, as she landed next to us.

Frank seemed to survey the area, before he looked back at us. "I have a plan. Cover me!"

"You heard Him, Mom." Frank Jr said, holding my hand out. " _ **KEYBLADE**_ _ **!**_ "

 _ **[KEYBLADE!]**_

 _ **[STARLIGHT!]**_

"Open fire!" Frank Jr shouted, pulling the trigger on my gun. "Let's try some of this!"

Frank Jr pressed down on the green button above the Warrior Watch Slot, before gripping the gun with both hands, energy forming at the barrel.

 _ **[Hero Charge! 5...4...3...2...1...ZERO TIME!]**_

Frank Jr pulled down on the trigger, as the energy that formed finally reached its peak.

 _ **[STARLIGHT BUSTS!]**_

The energy shot forwards, slamming into Mel Gibson and the bird as it screeched. While its mouth was open, Meg jumped towards the bird, grabbing the top of its beak with her left hand; she held its mouth open as she repeatedly punched round after round of ammunition into the two.

"Dad! What's the plan?" Frank Jr asked, running over to him.

"That kick you just did… can you do it again?" he asked Frank Jr.

"Yeah, why?" he said, looking over to see Meg steer the bird into the cliff side while pinning Mel Gibson. "Oh…"

Despite the fact, Meg just punched both Mel and bird into the cliff, said Mel was not exactly harmed by it, as he combined with bird and he started to flap its wings and get back into the air. Meg quickly ran forwards, as she stabs her sword into the ground, as Ice travels from her position up to the bird's tail, freezing it in place, no matter how much it flapped.

Frank Jr watched as Meg gripped the ribbon on her weapon, before she threw her pistol over to Frank, who caught it, as they got onto either side of two pillars and pulling, the ribbon tense. He then jumped towards the ribbon, landing at the center with Crescent Rose as it bent down the middle towards a black glyph from Meg.

As Frank Jr ran over to his parent.

"Of course you would come up with this idea." Meg Said.

"Think you can make the shot?" Frank Asked.

"Hmm. Can I?" Meg asked rhetorically.

"Can you?" Frank asked, clearly not getting sarcasm.

"Of course I can!" Meg snapped.

"Mom, when you send dad flying, I need you to launch me into the air for my bit." Frank Jr said, pressing down on the button on my Warrior Watch.

 _ **{FINISH TIME!}**_

"Got it!" She said.

Frank cocked his weapon, as Meg turned the circle from its black color to a red, releasing Frank as the tension from the ribbon and Meg' glyph send the girl flying. The ground beneath Frank Jr cracks slightly, but Frank Jr don't have enough time to focus on that, as a glyph forms below me, sending me into the air.

Frank catches the neck of the beast with his blade, as light blue glyphs form under her feet, all leading up the side of the cliff. Frank fired his weapon, running all the way up the cliff with each new shot fired.

A moment later, Frank Jr had reached the apex of the launch, as he pressed down on the top of his driver, and quickly spun it around. The bell rang out, as I got into position.

 _ **{LIMIT BREAK!}**_

Frank reached the top, launching himself into the air, holding the Mel's head right over the top of the cliff. Red Japanese characters for 'Kick' formed around the head of Mel, as they slowly combined, before they flew over to my foot. My text on my visor lit up along with the text my foot, as I flew towards Mel's head.

" _ **Warrior Kick!**_ " Frank Jr shouted, as his foot impacting Mel's head, before he blew through it, sliding past as Frank landed behind me. "Times up…" Frank Jr said, flicking his wrist. He turned around; walking to the edge of the cliff, as the heartless's body fell into the abyss below, disintegrating

Frank Jr removed the Hero-Core Warrior Watch from the driver, as he twisted the Dial back to its neutral position, the armor fading around him.

"That was a rush." Frank Jr said, smiling.

Back to the Mallque/Griffin house where Persephone, John, Tyler, Brian & Stewie are watching TV.

"In local news a Buddy Cianci Jr. High school student has been arrested for possession of drugs. The student has been sentenced to 200 hours of community service and is a very bad boy. We now go to Ollie Williams for the punishment forecast. Ollie." Tom Tucker said as he passes it to Ollie while punishing Jake tucker.

"HE GON GET IT!" Ollie Williams shouted his response.

"Thanks Ollie. Now this." Tom Tucker said as he said his report.

Back in the Living room.

"So you actually put coke in that kid's locker?" Persephone asking her boyfriend and family.

"Yup." Tyler answer her.

"Wow, where'd you get it." Persephone asking on where they get the coke?

"Oh I got a guy. Brian said as he has somebody with that stuff.

As Greased-up deaf guy enters in the living room.

Dont let it get the best of you. I used to be a lawyer. See you next week. Good to be back, America. Greased-up deaf guy said as he leaves the room.

Now we join Frank and his brothers in lair welcoming Frank Jr into the superhero life of his family.

"Would Frank G Mallque Junior come on stage?" Frank Said, as Frank Jr swallowed, he kicking off the wall.

As he walked up to Frank. Frank speaks, "Frank Jr. You are the only initiate who did not find himself or herself a partner. Under normal circumstances, this would mean you would have failed the initiation, but to fail one person because of an odd number wouldn't be fair if it was left up to luck."

Frank smiled. "With that said, you did as asked and brought the 'special artifact' to the cliff side." He said, as I blinked. "Frank Mallque Junior, you retrieving the Hero-Core Warrior Watch and the Omni Driver. Because of the odd number of heroes, for the time being you will be an unofficial member of the team you worked best with during the Initiation, while at the same time looking for possible teammates to join you."

"With that said, would Team Fusion Heart please come up to the stage?" Frank said, as the team came back up to the stage. "During the initiation, you five worked together to take down the common threat. Everyone, will you accept Frank Jr to be on this team?"

Everyone looked at Frank Jr, before looking back at Frank. "Absolutely."

"Frank Jr, welcome to Team Fusion Heart." Frank said, as the crowd cheered around us. "It looks like things are shaping up to be a... interesting year. Don't you agree, Keyblade Warrior Hero-Core?"

Frank Jr looked over at his father, as he smiled at me, before walking away. I looked back just in time to see his mother, Meg slam into his side. "Congratulations Frank Jr!"

"Thanks… Can you get off me now? You're digging into my solar plexus…" Frank Jr said, grimacing.

Meg got off almost instantly. "Thank you…"

"Well, how's that for Mr. No Training?" Menma asked.

"Terrifying." Frank Jr answered, before looking over at the other two members of Team Fusion Heart. "I look forward to working with the both of you."

"Likewise. It'll be interesting to see a New Keyblade Warrior in action." Rage said, extending his hand. Frank Jr took it in mind and shook. He turned to Negi, who smiled.

"Same for me." he said, as Frank Jr smiled.

Frank Jr stretched.

"Well, might as well get myself situated." Frank Jr said as he relax in his room.

"...I became a Keyblade Warrior …" I muttered, crashing onto one of the empty beds.

"...holy crap." Frank Jr said as the scene fades to black

 **Chapter ended**

 **I hope everyone enjoyed! This is thanking for pen123 and Family Guy Fan writer 15, Thank you all for cutaways, scenes, favoring, having me on alerts and with that. In addition, welcome to season 4 what does everyone think about the new intro. Its awesome right. This intro is a part of my child hood so enjoy and see you next chapter.**


	3. Chapter 52:Fast Times at BC Jr High

**Chapter 52: Fast Times at Buddy Cianci Jr. High**

 _ **NARRATOR**_

 _In the television comedy world, the people are entertained..._

 _by two separate yet equally important types of shows._

 _Traditional sitcoms that get laughs out of everyday situations..._

 _like trying to fix your own plumbing or inviting two dates to the same dance._

 _And animated shows that make jokes about farting. This is the latter._

MALLQUE AND GRIFFIN RESIDENCE

THRUSDAY, JUNE 8TH

As we zoom in on The Mallque/Griffins were watching TV in the living room.

"Sorry. I just farted." Petersaid as he ruin the bit as Frank Jr, John and Tyler Face palm themselves.

As we scene from law in order but with Family Guy MC characters with John and Tyler sing the Ted 2 law and order version.

"Here it comes." John said to Tyler as they get ready to sing their parody.

"Okay, okay. I'm ready." Tyler said as the being the theme song of this episode.

 **John** __

 _Bum, bum_

 _Starring Frank G Mallque_

As we see frank being lawyer

 **Tyler**

 _Let's all go to court_

 _Starring Meg Griffin_

As we see Meg being a lawyer as well.

 **John** __

 _Bum, bum_

Then we see Zeke and Rage busted a criminal, while quagmire in jail for a crime.

 **Tyler**

 _Let's go make some law now_

 _Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah_

 _Some law Now_

 _Also starring The Grease-Up Deaf Guy_

"I say we go to court!" John said something funny about court.

"Yes, let's go to court!" Tyler said also something funny about court.

"We're a bunch of assholes who take up a whole hallway with our conversation." John said about the characters being assholes.

Then we see the Mallque family walking in as they see quagmire run away naked.

 **Tyler**

 _Hey, you lawyer guys_

 _You don't know me and J-man are watching you_

 _While we're high!_

As the song ends with a view of New York at night.

CREATED BY SETH MCFARLAND

RECREATED BY FRANK MALLQUE

"That was fucking magic." John said as he pat himself on the back.

"That felt smooth." Tyler said his response.

"That felt really smooth." John said his response on a job well done.

Now we join Mallque/Griffin family at Buddy Cianci Jr High School for their open house tonight.

I'm glad you guys could come tonight. Chris said as he takes his family towards his desk.

Chris, honey, we wouldn't miss your open house. Lois said as she is happy to come to Chris's school open house.

"She right Chris, You, Meg, Persephone and Frank Jr are the most important thing in our lives." John said as Tyler nods in agreement.

"Oh, my God! We forgot Maddie and Rosie, we were supposed to baby sit them." Meg shouted in panic.

"Don't worry about them, Meg. Those two got everything she needs in our room." Frank said as he up a cutaway about Frank Jr's new friends.

 **Cutaway**

We see both Maddie eating chips in the room. Then Rosie drinks water from a bottle like a hamster and then they both runs on a hamster wheel.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join the Mallque/Griffin family at the gym listing to the couch.

"Most of the time, the kids will exercise out in the field. But if it's raining or I'm hung-over, they stay inside and play dodge ball." the couch said as he explain what the kids do in class.

"I love dodge ball!" John said as Tyler pick up the ball.

"Heads up!" Tyler said as he throws it at a parent, he gets knocked out while his wife worried.

Now we see the family in the Home Ec class.

"And this week in Home Ec, we're teaching your kids...how to make bundt cake." The Home Ec teacher said as he explains what the kid do in his class.

"I love bundt cake!" John said as he taste the foods with Persephone.

"Heads up!" Tyler said as he throws it at same parent, he gets knocked out while his wife worried again.

Now we see the family in the music room talking to the music teacher.

"The school band offers a wide variety of instruments...from the kettledrum to the trombone." the music teacher explain what they do her and what instruments do they used.

"I love the trombone!" Frank Jr said as the same parent was expected to get knocked out but didn't as we Frank Jr, John and Tyler Playing soulful tune on the trombone

"Wow!" the parent reacted from the music.

"I know, aren't they wonderful? They took lessons from Frank as he went to junior college." Meg explain who they are doing so well in soulful tunes.

"Heads up! "Tyler said as peter throw the trombone at same parent, he gets knocked out while his wife worried again for the third time.

As we now are back to Chris's classroom with the family enjoying themselves by meeting Chris teachers.

"I like meeting Chris's teachers. This ought to be more interesting than...that time I met Ted Danson." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter meeting Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen.

"Wow! Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen!" Peter meets the couple.

"Hey! Always nice to meet a fan" Ted shakes Peter's hand.

"Oh, shoot! I forgot my umbrella" Mary said.

"That's okay, honey. Come on over here" Ted offered as his big head covered Mary.

"Thanks, dear" Mary added.

"Sometimes it's good to be a freak. Do you want to sleep together later?" Ted asked.

"No. Thanks, though" Mary refused.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the classroom with Chris's teacher, Ms. Clifton on her desk.

"Good evening, parents. I'm Ms. Clifton. I'd like for you to fill out these... contact information sheets. Now, who would like to pass them out?" Ms. Clifton asking the parents on who want to volunteer to pass out the contact information sheets.

"Ms. Clifton, over here! Ms. Clifton! Ms. Clifton! Ms. Clifton! Ms. Clifton! Ms. Clifton!" Frank Jr said as he pester her to pick him while Meg looks at her son in disappointment for misbehaving.

"Mrs. Griffin." Ms. Clifton said as she called out on Frank Jr's grandma.

"Oh!" Frank Jr said as he pout and complains about not being picked while pushing all the stuff from his desk.

I'm sorry. Will you all please excuse me for a moment? Ms. Clifton said as she turn on a tv to check on her lottery numbers.

"Tonight's winning lottery numbers are... 6, 21, 18, 7, 42." The Man said On TV.

"Oh, my God! I won! I'm free from all those snot-nosed, little bastards! I'm free!" Ms. Clifton said as she wins the lottery and quits while laughing maniacally.

"Is she coming back?" Meg asked her family

"I don't know." Frank Jr said as he gets the green slime all over himself while set up a cutaway.

 **Cutaway 3**

A man's face with the words read YOU CAN'T DO THAT ON TELEVISION will be right back. As the Audience laughing

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join the Mallque/Griffin drive themselves home in the family car.

"I can't believe Ms. Clifton's gone. Who's gonna teach my class now?" Chris asked his family about his new teacher.

"Brian, why don't you teach Chris's class?" Lois asked him to get a job as Chris teacher at the school.

"You're very knowledgeable, the kids might knock you down a few pegs..." John said he acknowledge Brain mind and it might he give him to chilled out.

"Which would be good for you." Tyler said as he agrees with John.

"You know, that is a terrific idea, guys. I probably have a lot to offer young people." Brain said as he decide to get this job.

"What's he going to teach them?" Frank asked him about what he will teach the students

"How to lick the Dorito crumbs from between the sofa cushions?" Frank Jr guess on what Brian is going to teach them.

"Or how to leave a dead bird on the carpet?" Stewie who guess on what Brian is going to teach them.

"That was a gift, you bastards. That was a gift for the family." Brian said as he rips them off a good one for these insults.

Now we join Brian at Buddy Cianci Jr High School as he introduce himself to his class.

"Good morning, class. I'm your substitute teacher, Brian Griffin." Brian said hello to the class.

"Good morning, Mr. Griffin." Chris and his classmates said there response.

"Please. Call me Brian. Mr. Griffin is my father." Brian said as he makes a joke.

"I thought your father's name was Cocoa, and he was hit by a milk truck!" Chris questions him about his father.

"All right. Our goal here is to gain a command of the English language. So you can be successful writers like Ben Affleck and Matt Damon." Brian said as he sets up a cutaway.

 **Cutaway**

We see Ben Affleck and Matt Damon together.

"There. Finished. Good Will Hunting by Matt Damon" Matt said as he is typing on his computer.

"You think we could put both our names on that?" Ben asked.

"What? You've done nothing but eat Breyer's and smoke pot for the last six months" Matt refused.

"Oh, that's ridiculous…Come on! I helped" Ben begged.

"Oh, yeah? Okay, write a line. Just right now. Just pitch me a line right now" Matt demanded.

"Okay. (Farts) How about that?" Ben asked.

"That wasn't a line. You just farted" Matt argued.

"Is there anymore pot?" Ben asked.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join the Mallque/Griffin at the dinner table talking to Brian about his day.

"So, how was your first day, Mr. Kotter?" Lois asked brain how he did teaching.

"Yeah, Chris. What's it like to have Brian as a teacher?" Persephone asked him about have Brian as a teacher.

"It sucks! Mr. Griffin gave me an F on my first assignment!" Chris moans for getting a bad grades from brian.

"What? An F, Brian? After all Chris has done for you?" Peter said as he sets up a cutaway with Brian and Chris.

 **Cutaway**

We see Chris taking dental floss out of Brian's butt.

"Yeah. Just kind of pull it out. Yeah. If dogs aren't supposed to eat dental floss out of the garbage, why do they make it mint-flavored?" Brian asked.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join back to the diner room.

"Chris, when I was in school, you know what we used to do... when a teacher gave us a bad grade?" Frank tells him on how they get even with bad teachers.

"What?" Chris asked Frank on how to get even with Brian.

"We'd egg his house." Frank said as peter get excited.

"Come on. Where's this bastard live?" Peter asked Chris where his teacher lives.

"I'll show you." Chris said as he takes frank and peter leave outside.

"That's his house!" Chris said as his point at their house

"Take that!" Frank said as he, Peter and Chris egg their own house.

"I got it!" Peter said as he throw some eggs.

"Take that, you bum!" Frank said as he throw more eggs, as Brian opens the front door.

"What the hell are you doing?" Brian said as he yell at them for the eggs.

"Is that him?" Peter asked Chris, if Brian is his teacher.

"Yeah!" Chris said his answer.

"Oh, crap!" Frank said as he, peter and Chris ran away into the street at night.

Now we are back to Buddy Cianci Jr High School with Brian's Class.

"Hello, class. Mark Twain here, filling in for Brian Griffin. I understand you children read my book, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn." Brain said as he is dress Mark Twain while talking in Southern accent.

"Yeah, we read it." Chris and his classmates said their response.

"Now, who can tell me... Bobby, stop screwing around back there! Who can tell me the significance of the carpetbaggers in my novel?" Brain asking his class for significance of the carpetbaggers in the novel.

"Yeah. They stood for corruption and greed." One of student responded.

"That's exactly right. Just like the presidency of James Garfield." Brian said as he makes fun of James Garfield.

"He died in office." Chris and his classmates said their response.

"You kids are mighty smart. You must have a powerful good teacher. Well, I gotta catch my time steamboat back to the 1800s." Brian said as he does the go down stairs gag as he return with himself back to normal.

"Sorry I'm late. Did I miss anything?" Brian asking his class on what happened when he was gone.

"Yeah! Cap'n Crunch was here. Didn't you pass him on the stairs?" Chris said something stupid as he mistakes Brian's Mark Twain for Cap'n Crunch.

"Well, I hope the rest of you kids learned something today." Brian said as he hope the kids learn something.

"Yeah." Chris and his classmates said their response.

As the Over P.A. system bring out the voice of Principal Sloan.

"Good morning, this is Principal Sloan. Mr. Griffin, you've been reassigned. Please report to Remedial English." Principal Sloan said threw the Over P.A. system

"Reassigned? Can I at least come down to your office and talk to you about this?" Brian asked him about change the principle mind.

"No. I'm afraid I'm far too busy today." Principal Sloan said as he is in Malabo getting a massage.

"Estoban, mucho tension lower. Little lower. Lower. Lower." Principal Sloan asked Estoban to go lower.

" _On top of old Smokey!"_ Principal Sloan Singing in shrill voice as he reach release.

"Gosh, I was really starting to like this job. It was nice interacting with intelligent people. I usually hang out with an idiot." Brain said as he like his class and he sets up a cutaway.

 **Cutaway**

We see Brian reading a newspaper in his room while Peter wears a swimsuit and pours water down the stairs with a hose.

"Brian, check it out. I made a water slide in the house" Peter slides through the stairs, but stumbles and he groans in pain for such a long time.

"I'm not gonna call the hospital because you won't learn anything if I do" Brian said.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the classroom.

"Well, kids, I'll see you later." Brain said as he leaves toward the door. As a new teacher, Mrs. Lockhart appears and the teacher is hot as hell. She has very large breasts, and was often shown pulling objects out of her cleavage, including her student's tests, instructions, chalk, and a machete.

"Pardon me. Is this first-period English? I'm your new teacher, Mrs. Lockhart." Mrs. Lockhart said as she introduce herself to the class

"Oh, my God. I'm in love. Watch out for the stairs!" Chris said as he immediately falls in love with her. Also he warns her about the stairs behind the desk.

As Mrs. Lockhart Crashing downstairs behind the desk while the scene fades to black.

Now we are back to Buddy Cianci Jr High School with Mrs. Lockhart's Class.

"Good morning, class." Mrs. Lockhart said hello to her class.

"Good morning, Mrs. Lockhart." Chris and the class said hello to her back.

"I graded your quizzes from yesterday. Most of you did well. Some of you, I think, can do better. What do you see here, Chris?" Mrs. Lockhart said as she passes the classes graded test then she shows Chris his failed test, holding it next to her massive chest.

"Two D's and an F." Chris said as he see two d size breast and his f grade test.

As Funky instrumental music playing in the background while Brian is moved to another class for troubled kids.

"Hi. I'm Mr. Griffin. But you can call me Brian." Brian said as he introduce himself to his class but no response.

"Mr. Griffin is my father." Brian said as a Gunshot was fired on the chalkbrood.

"Well, has anybody read Huckleberry Finn? All right. How about we go around the room and everyone can say... a little something about themselves? Let's start with you there in the front." Brian said as he has the students introduce themselves.

"My name's Tim. I'm 28 years young. And I love weed." Tim said as his introduction includes the fact that he is 28 and loves to smoke weed. Now we see the next student.

"My name is Carlos. And beneath my tough exterior is a boy aching to learn. And beneath that is a rapist." Carlos said as he admits that under his tough exterior is a boy that wants to learn, but under that is a rapist. No we see a pregnant female student who very nerves.

"My name is Amanda. And my water just broke." Amanda said as During Amanda's introduction she announces that her water broke.

"Oh, my God!" Brian said as he begins to freaky out.

"Yo, it's my turn to deliver." Tim said as he volunteer to deliver the baby.

"Can I have this one? My mom keeps giving mine away." one of the girl students said as she offers to take it off of her hands since her mother keeps giving hers away.

Now we back to the Mallque/Griffin house at night were we see Peter and Frank Watching TV as Chris come in.

"Dad, I need some advice. I need to know how to get a girl to like me." Chris asking his father for help while Frank listen in.

"Chris, buddy, there's a million ways to do that." Peter said as he gives him advice.

"You just got to do something simple, like Vincent van Gogh." Frank said as he sets up a cutaway.

 **Cutaway**

We see Vincent van Gogh giving a present to his girlfriend, when his ear is bandaged.

"It's... What is this?" she asked.

"It's my ear. Do you like it? You don't like it" Vincent asked.

"No, I like it. But it's just... Why your ear?" she asked.

"Because I love you" Vincent explained.

"Well, at least this will be a funny story to tell our kids someday" his girlfriend laughed.

"You want kids? Oh, yikes. I wish you'd told me that before I got you this" Vincent gives her yet another box.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the living room as Lois comes in with Stewie in her arm while Frank Jr walk beside her.

"Did I hear my big boy say he's got a crush on some lucky girl?" Lois said as she heard from the piano room with Stewie.

"You know, Chris, I knew this day would come. So, I and Frank Jr brought you a condom." Stewie said as he hands a bag with a box of condom for Chris to use.

"Use it wisely, though. It wasn't easy to obtain since stewie got a rotten one." Frank Jr said as he set up a cutaway.

 **Cutaway**

We hear a couple making love outside of a parked car. As the Man and woman were moaning form the sex.

Moments later, Stewie and Frank Jr arrived and entered the car.

"What the hell are you two doing?" the man asked.

"Give that back!" the woman argued as Stewie left the car quickly while Frank Jr left the car after him with a box of condoms.

"Man!" the man shouted.

"Now, where were we?" the woman asked.

"This is much better" the man said.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the living room with the griffins and Frank Jr.

"Chris, honey, the way to win a girl is to do something romantic and unexpected." Lois said as she gives Chris some advice

"Remember the naked spaceman, Lois? Yeah. You remember the naked spaceman." Peter said as he made Lois remember the naked spaceman skit for romance.

"Hahaahaha! On my 25th birthday, your father surprised me by showing up...in nothing but a space helmet and moon boots." Lois said as she laughs while remembering it.

"It just came to me." Peter said as he say his response which give Chris and idea for tomorrow.

"You want some Tang, Mr. Spaceman?" Lois asked Peter if he wants some tang before they get freaky in bed.

"Do I?" Peter said as he get close to Lois and they began to kiss while stewie in-between them.

"Just remember, fat man, those jugs are mine until the milk dries up. Then you can have the remains." Stewie said as Frank Jr made puke face for just hear this crap.

Now we are back to Buddy Cianci Junior High school in Mrs. Lockhart class.

"So, basically, what Orwell was saying was, "It's not perfect but I'll take it." All right, moving on..." Mrs. Lockhart said as she teaches her lesson in class until Chris came in viva out of scene which has shocked Mrs. Lockhart.

"Sorry, I'm late, Mrs. Lockhart." Chris said as He attempts to win her over by being spontaneous via "Naked Spaceman".

"Oh, my God, Chris! What are you doing?" Mrs. Lockhart asked him in shocked of looking at Chris's naked body including his big member.

"Being romantic and unexpected." Chris said his response.

"Chris, you can't be so impulsive. People have gotten into a lot of trouble that way." Mrs. Lockhart said as she sets up a cutaway.

 **Cutaway**

We see Donny and Marie Osmond naked in bed, covered by bedsheets.

"Uh, Marie?" Donny asked.

"Yeah, Donny?" Marie asked.

"We cannot tell Mom" Donny suggested.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the Mallque/Griffin house at dinner time as they family was eating in the diner room.

"So, Chris, what's the latest with your little girlfriend?" Lois asked him on how it go with his girlfriend problem.

"I don't think Mrs. Lockhart likes me at all." Chris said in disappointment which shocked Lois but surprised the family.

"Mrs. Lockhart? Your teacher? That same teacher with the Big boobs? That Mrs. Lockhart?" Frank said in shocked as he is surprised and proud of Chris at the same time.

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" John and Tyler said as they calm everyone down.

"Mrs. Griffin, this is not a big deal." John said his response while Tyler agrees with him.

"Guys, are you listening? Chris has a crush on his teacher." Lois said as she is not pleased with this.

"Wow/Ew Gross!" the rest of the family said their response.

"You know what else gross is?" Stewie asked them as he farts for the joke until something went wrong.

"Uhaaaaa! Broke a damn blood vessel!" Stewie said as one of his eye turn red as he broke a blood vessel.

Now we join brain in the kitchen grading his student test as Frank Jr and Stewie come.

How's it coming, dog? Stewie asked him as he and Frank Jr take a seat.

"God! Just listen to this kid's report on Great Expectations. _"Miss Havisham should have throwed that cake out so it don't like..."mess all up the bitch's house."_ I don't know what to do, you know? Society's given up on these kids. I feel like I may be the only one who can help them." Brain said as he is trying to help these kids.

"I think your problem is you're not communicating in a way...that speaks to their experience." Stewie tells him on how to reach these kids another way.

"You know what you should do? Get in there tomorrow and do the robot." Frank Jr said as he take out a boom box and plays it while doing the robot.

"Wow. You know, you're right. Maybe I should just try... a whole new approach. Thanks guys." Brian said as he thanks the babies for the helpful response.

As funky music playing on stereo while both Frank Jr and Stewie doing the robot.

Okay, you can stop that now. Brian said as he tells them to stop dancing.

"We can't hear you. We're robot." Stewie said as they continued doing the robot while Tyler come in in 60 clothes dancing to the beat.

"Come on, knock it off." Brian said as he tells them to stop again.

"Does not compute." Frank Jr said as they continued to dance until Brian turns off the boom box.

"Boo..." Frank Jr and stewie said as they are power down like robots.

"I'm going to bed." Brian said as he leave the kitchen while Frank Jr and Stewie were frozen as robot.

"I do not require sleep, boo...ahahaha!" Frank Jr and stewie said as they reboot and continued to dance while Tyler turns on his D.J set

"Let's see the kid with the hearing aid from Barney do this." stewie said as he mentions One of the regulars on Barney & Friends was a near-deaf youth who appeared early in the series.

Now we back to Brian's class as he come in, dress like a gangsters to get threw his students.

"Aw' right, Aw' right. So's I'm chilling in Verona when my homie busts out with: "Yo, Romeo. Check out that biotch Juliet in the window." Problem is, Juliet's peeps are, like, East Coast rappers... and my posse's representing West Side. Just like my boys Tupac and Biggie. Know what I'm saying?" Brain said as he get no response.

"That's racist, man." Carlos said as he is offended.

"Yeah, that's just straight ignorant, dog." One of the student reply as he feel that this is ignorant.

Now we join Lois and Peter talk to Mrs. Lockhart about Chris crush.

It's good to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Griffin. Mrs. Lockhart said as she greets them to her class.

"We wanted to talk to you about our son. You see, Chris really..." Lois explains about Chris behavior until Peter interrupts her.

"Lois, honey, let's make sure we do this delicately, all right? Mrs. Lockhart, our son... would like to plow you." Peter said as he tells Mrs. Lockhart that Chris wants her which made Mrs. Lockhart blush from think about Chris large member.

"I had a feeling that's what was going on." Mrs. Lockhart said in a normal tone while trying not to get busted by the griffins.

"Sorry. Our son can sometimes be a boob. I mean a melon. I mean, a sopping-wet pair of breasts barely covered by a racing t-shirt." Peter said something stupid as he was distracted by Mrs. Lockhart's big juice breasts.

"Peter! Mrs. Lockhart, we just wanted you to know... so you could spare his feelings and let him down gently." Lois said as she reprimands Peter for his behavior, while she asking Mrs. Lockhart to let Chris down gently.

"Don't worry. I know exactly what to say to Chris." Mrs. Lockhart said as she has plans of her own.

"Thank you so much. You've been very understanding." Lois said as she and Peter made their way out of the classroom. Until Peter came back in to asked her something.

"Gosh. You know, I don't mean to impose, but do you have a picture of yourself... that I could tape to the back of Lois's head?" Peter asked her for a picture. While outside the hall way was Frank, as he thinks on how to help Chris get out of this crazy situation or to help get the women of his dreams.

Now back to the Mallque/Griffin house in Chris's room, Chris was sighing as he was laying down in bed. He just couldn't understand why the recent new teacher at his school, Mrs. Lockhart, didn't like him.

He liked everything about her... her pretty blonde hair, her red blouse, and the short skirt that made his wiener spring up whenever he saw her bend over. And who could blame him? If anybody saw Mrs. Lockhart doing what she did in the classroom, somebody would naturally want to bang her up.

And there was also the matter of the fact that she was married. Even though Chris wasn't smart at times, he wasn't entirely stupid. He knew the difference between the titles of Miss and Missus, but yet...

What is it about Mrs. Lockhart that he really liked? Was it his lust for her? Maybe that was it... or maybe it was more than her big pair of Double D breasts. Maybe he liked her personality. Maybe he liked the really smart girls. He didn't know, but all he knew was that he and Mrs. Lockhart would be perfect.

And so, he tried everything he could to get her attention ever since she arrived in his life. Sure, he was a little distracted with her... luscious, beautiful breasts and thus is the reason why he failed the tests. He'd ask his parents on how he would woo the girl (being careful not to reveal he's in love with his own teacher), and only after it didn't work did he accidentally let slip to his parents that he liked Mrs. Lockhart.

Chris knew his parents went to a PTA meeting to discuss Chris' love life... he sighed. He knew now he'd never have that chance, so he tried to sleep...

Then he heard a pebble tapping on his window. Chris' eyes widened as he wondered who was tapping on his window at this time of night. He got up and looked out the window... and gasped. Wait, is this a dream? He couldn't be. He was clearly up.

"M-Mrs. Lockhart?" Chris said in shock as he opened the window.

"Chris, come down here. I need to have a talk with you." Mrs. Lockhart called.

Chris, as expected, decided to obey as he jumped down from the window and fell, landing on his stomach. Mrs. Lockhart sighed. "Maybe you should have waited for me to put the ladder up to your house first?"

"No, it's fine." Chris muttered as he got up. "My dad sometimes does that all the time, and I do this all the time too. I don't really break my bones from this, so it's all right."

"Wow..." Mrs. Lockhart said in amazement as she touched his arms, legs and abdomen. "Even with all this, you're durable."

"Yeah..." Chris paused, awkwardly. "Why are you here?"

Mrs. Lockhart sighed. "Well... because..."

"What's wrong?" Chris asked, curiously. "Whatever it is, you can tell me. I'm willing to listen."

Mrs. Lockhart took a deep breath... then sighed. "No, you'll just look at my breasts and not listen to me. That's how my first relationship with my husband began. He never cared for me at all."

"He didn't?" Chris said in shock.

"No." Mrs. Lockhart sighed. "Oh sure, that's how the relationship with my husband began. He loved my breasts, he loved my personality... and yet... when we finally got married... we never had sex."

Now, Chris had heard of sex before, heck, his father and mother always did it, which woke him up a few times, but he basically ignored it. "Who would not want to have sex with his wife?"

"Apparently, my husband." Mrs. Lockhart sighed. "Never wanted kids. Always hated them. But me? I always wanted a kid of my own. Too bad I never had the chance..."

"Oh, Mrs. Lockhart... if I was your husband, I would totally raise a family with you." Chris said, patting her on the back.

Mrs. Lockhart turned to Chris and smiled. "Really? Do you know how to take care of children?"

"Well, not really..." Chris said. "But with the right training, I'm sure I'd be willing to give you a chance."

"Aw, thanks." Mrs. Lockhart giggled. "I never thought I'd say this, Chris, but... you really are more of a man than my husband ever was."

Chris could only smile. His crush just admitted he's more man than her husband. "How so?"

"You treat a woman right outside the classroom." Mrs. Lockhart explained. "Yeah, I will admit at first you were really peculiar, but overtime, I started noticing you in particular. At first, I thought it was just the failing grades. But when you arrived with the 'Naked Spaceman' thing... I knew it was more than just a fleeting moment. You really did have a crush on me, didn't you?"

"Uh... yes?" Chris asked.

"Well... when your parents came to visit me to persuade me to talk to you out of it... I thought about it at first, but then things started to go into my mind... you naked, for one thing. That was when I began to realize... I couldn't stand away to be away from you for another moment. I think I'm falling in love with you." Mrs. Lockhart said.

Chris gasped. He couldn't believe what he just heard. His teacher actually fell in love with him, Chris Griffin? He smiled at his teacher. "Mrs. Lockhart, I love you too!"

Mrs. Lockhart gave a smile and giggled. "Oh, Chris."

"But... why me?" Chris asked her. "I mean, you could have any skinny guy in the classroom, but why me in particular?"

"Besides the Naked Spaceman thing? Well, true, being a fat guy does have a downside, but then..." Mrs. Lockhart paused. "...well, I noticed your little man was BIGGER than my husband's."

"Huh?" Chris said, not getting a clue.

Mrs. Lockhart sighed. "I saw your penis, and thought it was really long, and felt like it would fit me in my body."

"Oh!" Chris said in shock, and smiled. "Oh, I get it."

Mrs. Lockhart smiled. "But besides that, you may not be the brightest in my class, but I've seen you get smart a few times. I pass by your address sometimes and I see you with your father. Sure, you may not be bright and sometimes follow his orders, but there are other moments when you know in particular it's a bad idea."

"Wow..." Chris paused. "Wait, you were spying on me?"

"Well, you left your address on my teaching table with the words 'Call me' one time." Mrs. Lockhart explained.

"Oh, right..." Chris said, remembering that.

"Anyway, I would love to be with you, Chris... spend the rest of my life with you... and have a family..." Mrs. Lockhart said. "The only problem is... I'm married."

Chris sighed. "I figured this would happen."

Mrs. Lockhart nodded. "Yes, so I figured there's one thing to do."

Chris noticed Mrs. Lockhart pulling out a little book marked for 'Chris' out of her breasts as he asked, "Uh, make a flip book of a stick figure whose head keeps getting bigger and bigger and bigger until it pops?"

Mrs. Lockhart gave a slight giggle. "Oh, Chris, you and your childish nonsense. That's another reason why I like you... and you know, I think you would make a great father for our kid."

"Our kid?" Chris raised an eyebrow.

"Yes. Anyway, this isn't a flip book, Chris. They are instructions. If we're going to be together, I need you to kill my husband." Mrs. Lockhart explained.

Chris' eyes widened, but he didn't scream. He'd help kill her husband? He didn't expect that.

"Mrs. Lockhart, if it's the same, can't you just file for divorce, and we can just live together in a different house." Chris reply a way out of that plan.

"Dammit, Chris, do you think I didn't try suggesting the idea? My husband is psycho, and he always beats me for even thinking about it!" Mrs. Lockhart groaned.

"He... beats you?" Chris's eyes widened.

"I didn't want to show you this... but if you insist..." Mrs. Lockhart sighed.

Mrs. Lockhart then turned around in the back and took off her red top. Chris was surprised to see very red hand marks on her back. "What the..."

Mrs. Lockhart sighed. "Yeah... whenever I come home, he treats me really badly. Now you see why I want him killed."

Chris' eyes widened as he noticed Mrs. Lockhart with tears in her eyes. "Don't cry, Mrs. Lockhart... if you like, we can look over instructions to see how we can kill your husband... without risking both of us to go to jail..."

Mrs. Lockhart stared in surprise. "Really? You'd do this?"

"Love between a man and a woman should be sacred. Not like your relationship." Chris explained as he looked over at the house. Nobody had woken up yet.

"We better get to another place, we'll talk more there." Chris said as he tells her that they need to plan somewhere else.

"Okay, but we better make this quick. My husband always wakes up at three in the morning, and he always expects me sleeping in the bed." Mrs. Lockhart said as Chris pulled her inside the nearby shed.

"Okay, so your plan involves me either getting here early in the morning where he'd still be asleep, then killing him with either a knife or a gun." Chris read the plans. "Then we'd run away to Las Vegas or somewhere south of the border, along the way, changing our names and hair colors."

"Pretty much." Mrs. Lockhart nodded.

"Hmmm... well, I say we keep the second half of the plan... but why don't we change the first half of the plan to make it look like he had an accident?" Chris said.

"What did you have in mind?" Mrs. Lockhart asked in curiosity.

"...well, what if... you place a bear in the man's oatmeal... and he'll be done in, just like that?" Chris said.

"Oddly enough, that was my plan B in case you didn't want to go through with it." Mrs. Lockhart said in shock.

"After hearing what your husband did to you... why would I think different?" Chris said.

"But won't somebody know I let a bear in?" Mrs. Lockhart said.

"After the bear kills Mr. Lockhart, I'll tranquilize the bear, then we'll put down some hair and blood, along with a dummy I personally made of you to make sure you were killed too!" Chris smiled. "Luckily, that shouldn't be too hard. I only made the head so far, though..."

"Oh, but I can place some torn threads of my clothes, just to make sure I WAS eaten by the bear!" Mrs. Lockhart smiled. "You really are smarter than you think, Chris!"

"Gee, thanks..." Chris blushed.

"But that just leaves you... what if you come in with a bike?" Mrs. Lockhart asked.

"I made a head figure of me, oddly enough, so I'll leave that, along with some shredded clothes here with fake blood, because I just SAW the bear leaving!" Chris said.

"That's a good plan, Chris!" Mrs. Lockhart smiled in glee.

"The only problem is where to get a bear..." Chris said.

"You leave that part to me!" Mrs. Lockhart smiled. "I know of a personal bear who... as you might say... 'Owed me a favor'."

"Great!" Chris smiled.

"Thank you, Chris..." Mrs. Lockhart said, pulling Chris up. "You don't know how much this means to me..."

With that, Mrs. Lockhart and Chris shared their first kiss together... and sparks arose from the couple as the two started to get intimate. Mrs. Lockhart proceeded to take Chris' shirt off, then his pants and underpants before she saw his dick poking her.

"Oh, Chris, you must be really glad to see me..." Mrs. Lockhart said.

"I sure am..." Chris licked his lips softly as he opened Mrs. Lockhart's blouse and threw it aside. Chris could not believe he was about to touch his own teacher, who loved him, let alone have sex with her. It felt so wrong to other peoples' eyes... but to her and Chris...

It was exactly right. The two proceeded to kiss and kiss as Chris massaged Mrs. Lockhart's beautiful breasts. "Oh, Mrs. Lockhart..."

"Chris, if we're going to do this, you don't have to call me Mrs. Lockhart... Chris... you can call me Lana." Mrs. Lockhart groaned sexually as she started to use her hands to get his Willie even bigger.

"Okay...Lana." Chris smiled.

"Oh, Chris. I want you to be my first, my first and only..." Lana Lockhart giggled as she laid down, spreading her legs as her skirt and underwear were stripped off by Chris.

"If your husband is not going to take your own virginity... Then I might as well take it!" Chris smiled.

With that, Chris pinned Lana into the ground and stuffed his dick inside her hole. Lana gave a slight scream before Chris silenced her with a kiss.

"Lana, are you okay?" Chris asked as he then stopped the kiss.

"I'm fine. It only hurts for a few minutes, but once you get going, I'll probably get used to it... that's what my old girlfriends used to say when they had sex." Lana said as she breathes.

Chris gave a smile as he plunged deeper into Lana's body. Lana swallowed the pain until it turned into pleasure... and thus, she continued to enjoy it.

"Faster, Chris... faster..." Lana said as she started to groan.

Chris obeyed as he started to speed it up, Lana and Chris smiling with glee. It wasn't until Chris was ready to feel himself exploding.

"Oh God, I don't know what's wrong with me, but I feel like peeing!" Chris said

"It's called 'cumming' Chris. It's perfectly fine! I'm about to do it too!" Lana said.

"What should I do? This is my first time!" Chris said, panicking.

"For you too? Don't panic... just put it all inside of me!" Lana smiled.

Chris relaxed a bit as he and Lana grunted... coming at the same time as Chris shot his sperm inside of Lana's womb. As Chris pulled out of Lana, the two panted as Lana sighed, "Oh Chris... that was awesome..."

The two quickly dressed back up as Chris handed Lana back the plans. "You better take this with you. I have a bit of a bad habit of leaving stuff lying around."

"Good idea." Lana nodded. "We don't want your parents tailing us."

Chris nodded. "I'll get ready and pack up, then maybe sleep. I'll bike over with my backpack and we can proceed with the plan!" Chris said.

Lana smiled as she kissed Chris on the cheek. "Of course. I better get home, then. Good night, my beautiful man."

Chris gave a smile as he and Lana parted separate ways... as Chris snuck inside his house, he smiled as he felt he did right... made the most beautiful woman in the world his woman, and was about to proceed with a plan to off her husband to make it look like an accident. All in all, it was a pretty good day...

Meanwhile Frank was listen to Chris and Lana conversation and he was proud of him. Now he is thinking to help Chris a little.

Now back at the house in the morning we join Frank, Lois and Stewie doing laundry. As Lois puts in Peter clothes and underwear.

"Good God! Look at the fat man's underwear. It looks like a Jackson Pollock painting." Stewie mad comment about peters clothes until he see his clothes going in.

"Don't put that in with my things!" Stewie shouted at Lois for putting

"What's this?" Lois said as she notice and finds the teacher's written instructions in Chris' laundry.

"You know, Stewie, Mommy doesn't usually read things out of Chris's pockets. She's more respectful than that. Lois said as she baby her son.

"Yeah, whatever helps you sleep at night, bitch." Stewie said as he rolls his eyes by that comment.

"Oh, my God! Chris is gonna murder Mrs. Lockhart's husband! We got to stop him!" Lois said as she is freaking out while frank get a wooden board from the back.

"Can we stop at the supermarket? I want a Granny Smith apple." Stewie said

"Okay," Frank agreed as he knocked out Lois and took the list while he finding a way to help Chris.

Now we see Frank put Lois on her bed while he takes Stewie on the hallway.

"But how am I going to explain this to Lois and Peter? They'll be worried if they find Chris missing." Frank said to himself.

"Not quite, dad," Frank Jr disagreed as he walks toward him while he heard what his father.

"We got Chris D.N.A in his room." Stewie said as he has a clone machine in their room.

"You're right," Frank Jr agreed as Frank agree with them.

"There's that." Frank said as then he realized that he can clone Chris and let the clone take the real one place, while the real Chris goes with Lana to married her.

"Say, Son, now that I know you make this stuff, would you offer me a chance for Chris?" Frank asked his son for help on this plan.

"Anything for Chris, dad." Frank Jr answered as they walk toward to Stewie and Frank Jr room to make the clone.

They goes upstairs to Frank Jr and Stewie's bedroom with Chris's D.N.A in Frank's hand, with Peter and Lois still taking no notice. As soon as they enters the bedroom, Frank Jr puts the test tube inside the cloning machine. However, Stewie makes another simple adjustment, as well as set the machine to stable.

"There," Frank Jr said to his father.

"Now, let's see how nice this clone turns out to be." Frank said as he tells them to start this.

As the machine activates, and a clone of Chris has awakened. He has a smile on his face and is wearing a blue shirt with cyan overalls. The first thing the clone did was greet them

"Hello, everyone. What's going on?" Clone Chris saying as he has all of Chris memories except he remember what the real Chris did in the show and not form this universe Chris.

"Hey Chris, you wouldn't believe the day you had." Frank answered as he takes him out of them room.

Now back to Brian at Buddy Cianci Jr High School as he come in to class all messing.

"Yeah, I know. I'm late. Okay, let's just get started." Brian said as he writes the title of Romeo & Juliet.

"Yo, man, what's that thing in the middle?" Carlos asked Brian about the symbol in-between Romeo and Juliet.

"What, this? You got to be freaking kidding me. That's an ampersand. It's a symbol for the word " _and_." My God, nobody can be this stupid. Not even Peter when he took... that blow to the head and thought he was Larry from Three's Company." Brian said as he set up a cutaway.

 **Cutaway**

Peter arrives at the kitchen, dressed as Larry from Three's Company.

"Jack, there's a hot tub party across the street and we're invited. And don't worry. If Mr. Furley comes by, I'll make sure he thinks you're…yay!" Peter cheered as he told Frank Jr and Brian.

 **Cutaway Ends**

"Mr. Griffin, chillax. We're doing the best we can." Amanda said as she tries to calm down Brian.

"There is nothing I would like to do more than chillax, Amanda. But without a decent education, you could spend the rest of your life...as a ditch digger or a motel maid or a hooker." Brian said as he tries to explain to them if they don't get a good education they'll end up with bad jobs. Until the student begin to get excited from what Brian said.

"I could be a ditch digger?" Student #1 said as he excited for that job.

"A motel maid?" Student #2 said as she excited for that job.

"I could be a hooker?" Student #3 said as she excited for that job.

"Well, no. You don't want to be a hooker." Brian said as he tried to fix this

"Wow, Mr. Griffin! You're the first teacher that ever told us we could do anything." Tim said as he thanks him for give them a chance while Brian gets an idea for moment.

"You know you kids can do any menial, minimum-wage job you can dream of. Listen to me." Brian said as he takes them out the school while he starts a musical number.

As he walks to The Wall Street folk and see them party 'till dawn until some of them puke, then Brian and his class turn to a janitor cleaning it up the puke.

 **Brian**

 _The Wall Street folk may party 'till dawn, boozing hard and carrying on; Who removes the puke when they're gone? The answer my friend is the low level man._

"Wow, I can clean up puke and get paid for it?" Tim said as he like this job.

"You bet Timmy." Brian said as he tells he can do this job.

 **Brian**

 _Your choice of jobs is wide when you're poor; Work from nine to five at the store; Or from five to nine as a whore. You low level man._

 _The humble garbage man can still have class_

As Brian give out shoves to his class while he is dress like a construction work. Then his class push out carts from a supermarket. Then Brian dance around garbage cans to show a garbage man taking out the trash.

"Really?" Carlos asked Brain if his sayings are true.

"Oh, sure." Brian replied yes to his question.

 **Brian**

 _And you could be the guy who pumps his gas._

 _The rich man's wine is red or its white, but for you, that's way too uptight. Grab a six of natural light._

 _'Cause you have a destiny down at the DMV fitting society's plan._

Then we turn to a gas station as Brian gives a student the gas holder to pump up the trucker gas tank. Then the scene changes to a rich couple drinking wine till it change to maid at the kitchen as Brian comes out of the oven with a six of natural light to give to the maids. Then it turn to Brian new DMV license that he gets from the DMV.

What if I wanted to be a busboy down at IHOP? Student #3 asked Brian about working at an IHOP while they are being there for the song.

"You could totally do that!" Brian said his response as they dance on the floor.

 **Student #3**

 _Wow, that could be me! Working downtown!_

"I'll be the chef!" Student #2 said as he come to the scene.

"Whoa now, slow down." Brian said to calm him down.

 **Brian**

 _If you use what you've got...then believe it or not..._

As they appear outside of the school with equipment to work. Then it show Brian flushing the toilets then they appear inside the restroom.

 **All**

 _We can each mean a lot to the world as the Low Level Man._

As they dance in front of the school with random student dance to the beat.

"Thanks Mr. Griffin you are the best!" Tim said as they were back at their classroom.

"Your welcome Tim, well guys guest that there nothing I can teach you. You know I still think on the first day I came here when Amanda give birth to that beautiful baby were we later rescue from the wastebasket in the third floor girls bathroom. I'm… I'm so amazed at far you come." Brian said as he cried a tear for remember some good time her in this class room.

As he leave toward the door, as the students stand up in support of Brian.

"O, Captain! My Captain!" Carlos said as he hoist a shovel which cause Brian to look around.

"O, Captain! My Captain!" Tim said hoists a squeegie and spray bottle.

"O, Captain! my Captain!" Amanda said as she holds a dust manta and a little broom.

As Brian sees his class hold equipment until he see the kid in the cage groaning until he jumps into his desk and breaking it.

"Jack, twins! Swedish. My place. Now." Peter said as he dressed as Larry from Three's Company again.

The next morning, as Chris was cycling up the street with a few things in his backpack, he was thinking about what had previously happened to him last night... he could hardly believe it himself. Getting the woman he really loved, having sex for the first time with her, admitting she wanted to spend the rest of his life with him... this was all surprising for Chris.

However, Chris knew the consequences of this accidental murder, if anybody had found out it was him and Lana together that killed Lana's husband. He was glad that he and Lana co-incided together to get Lana's husband offed once and for all. He just hoped that Lana went along with the plan.

Sure enough, as Chris arrived at the Lockharts' house, he heard the snarling of the bear inside as he heard a man screaming and being mauled. When he heard the breathing of the man that was no more, he quickly tapped on the door.

"Don't worry, I got it. It's my new soon-to-be husband I was telling you about!" Lana said as He heard his beautiful Lana's voice say as she opened the door and smiled.

"Chris, my big, beautiful man, I'm so glad you came!" Lana said as she then grabbed Chris and started to kiss him as he kissed back, the two of them smiling in glee. Lana then parted lips.

"The bear thing worked, like you suggested. My husband is now a rotting corpse! You got the second part of the plan ready?" lana said

"All set, Lana." Chris said as he smirked then opened his backpack and pulled out some fake heads he made and a few clothes.

"Jack, this is the man I was telling you about. This is Chris Griffin..." Lana said as she smiled as the brown bear stood up.

"So, you're the new hubby to my best friend, hm?" Jack the brown bear said as he sniffed Chris.

"Err... yes?" Chris said, nervously.

"She couldn't have asked for a better man than you. You better take good care of her, because the guy I just killed, certainly never did. You're a lucky man, Mr. Griffin... a lucky, lucky man!" Jack said as he smiled.

"Shucks, it's nothing..." Chris said as he smiled a bit.

"Okay, I'll take care of the work..." Jack said as he took the things.

"You better just take my car and make your getaway... if your car is left behind, people will start getting suspicious..." Jack said as he point them to his car.

"Right, we better get going..." Lana said as she turned to Chris.

"Okay, Lana, let's roll!" Chris aid as he nodded.

With that said, Lana and Chris quickly got into the car as Lana took the wheel and drove off pretty quickly as Jack the Bear decided to make work on the fake bodies... until he decides to call someone.

As Frank and Stewie by the bear request as he see the mess

"Okay they are gone! Okay, I gotta call the police." Frank said as he reach the phone.

"What's that smell? Dead body, right. That's what that is." Stewie said as he notice the dead bodies.

"No, wait a minute. I can't call the police. I have to get rid of this body, or clone Chris will go to prison! And we all know what happens in those prison showers. I've seen Oz.." Frank said as eh explain the bear what his plan is. While he started a cutaway about jail with oz.

 **Cutaway**

We see fat, naked men showering in prison as they scrub each other with soap in a musical tone.

 **Prison mates**

 _Scrub scrub here, scrub scrub there_

 _Whether you're white or bronze_

 _A man can wash another man_

 _In the merry old land of Oz_

 **Cutaway Ends**

Meanwhile on the road with Chris and Lana

"You do understand Chris that we'll have to be in hiding for the rest of our lives..." Lana explained as they were out of Quahog. "You'll never see your family ever again..."

"I understand, Lana... but there's no turning back now..." Chris said as he took off his hat and threw it out the window. "Besides, my parents would never approve of me killing somebody..."

"And I'm sure society would frown on someone like me having a relationship with you..." Lana said. "But you certainly look 21, so we can go with it..."

"Gee, Lana, I don't mind having a relationship with you!" Chris said. "You have everything a woman ever needs..."

"Including my beautiful breasts and my pretty face?" Lana gave a flirting smile as she jiggled her breasts towards Chris.

"Exactly that..." Chris said as he suddenly felt his little man starting to rise.

"Oh gee, I see Chris Jr. already wants to play with me..." Lana said as she noticed the little poke from Chris' pants then smirked.

"Who?" Chris paused... then realized as he tried to cover up.

"Oh, right... heh heh..." Chris said as he laughs.

"Oh, Chris, you don't need to be embarrassed... Your little man certainly did work on me that last night... I think we may be on the way to raise that family..." Lana giggled.

"Do you think you're pregnant, Lana?" Chris said.

"...maybe... but once we make a stop and look at the news to see if we threw anybody off the tracks, we can always have another romp around to ensure my pregnancy!" Lana said as she smiled.

"I really want that kid, Chris..." Lana said as she really wants that baby.

"And I'm more than willing to raise it with you!" Chris smiled as he put his hand on Lana's knee.

"So... if we're going to live new lives, we may as well change our names..." Chris said

"Indeed... I like the name Chris, though, keep it... it's the last name you'll need to change..." Lana said as she paused.

"And I like the name Lana. And if we're going to be married... we may as well have the same last name..." Chris said as he smiled

"Well... we'll cross that bridge when we get there... So... do you think we should do a Vegas wedding?" Lana said as she smiled.

"Las Vegas?" Chris said in surprise.

"Sure. We'll be married quickly, then we can keep moving until we reach a spot where we can raise our family in peace." Lana said as she giggled.

"I like that." Chris smiled.

"So would I..." Lana smiled back as she kept driving.

Now we turn to Frank and Stewie at a bridged to dump the body. As he drag out the body.

"All right, wait here, Stewie, while I gets the cement blocks." Frank said as he get the cement blocks from his car. Until Stewie spots the police coming so he jumps inside the suit do disguise himself.

"Everything all right here?" The police officer asked Stewie.

"Fine, Officer. Just enjoying the sunset. No law against that, is there?" Stewie explain himself about being here.

"What happened to your shirt?" The police officer asked Stewie about his shirt.

"You know, just a pizza party at the office." Stewie said as he was in a pizza party.

"Yeah? Where do you work?" The police officer asked Stewie on where he works.

"First Fidelity Insurance over on Wabossette Street." Stewie said his answer.

"My cousin, Arnie, works over there." The police officer said that his cousin works there.

"Arnie's your cousin, is he?" Stewie said as he know him.

"You know him?" The police officer asked him if he knew Arnie.

"Somewhat. Good middle-management type. Just blends in with the furniture there. Never really wowed anyone at the office." Stewie said as he explain who Arnie is and how is he doing.

"Yeah, that's always been Arnie's problem. Well, take it easy." The police officer said as he goes to his car.

"Yes. You, too. And if you see Arnie, tell him "Oogity-Boogity-Boo." He'll know what it means." Stewie said as he gibbering as the cop leave them that's when Frank arrive with the cement blocks.

Then Frank drops the body in the lake as two fish are talking under water.

"You know what I hate? A guy in a blue suit." The First fish said as he tells the other fish about what he hates.

"Gasp!" The other fish Exclaims as he spot

"There's one right behind me, isn't there?" The First fish said as he gets all piss off.

Now we are back at the Mallque/Griffin house as the family discuses about Chris and as they think he murder Mr. Lockhart.

"You know, Lois, Chris is cool and everything, but since he killed that guy... I don't know. Maybe he shouldn't be living with us here now." Peter said his response on what happened.

"Peter, I'm scared." Lois said as both Frank Jr and Stewie rolled their eyes as they and Frank know the truth, that Chris ran away with Lana and they have a clone of Chris take his place until the real Chris decide to return to them.

"Don't worry, sweetheart. You'll have plenty of time to escape... while he's killing the twins. He hates them the most." Peter said as they have time to escape Chris as he kills the twins.

"Hello, I and Tyler are immortal!" John said as Tyler rolls his eyes while Peter face palms himself about forgetting about his tow adopted sons.

"Damn it, I forgot these two." Peter said as they hear Chris coming with Frank.

"Hey, everybody. What's for dinner? I'm starving." Clone Chris said as he appears next to the couch.

"My God, his blood lust is unquenchable!" John said while Tyler freaks out.

"Chris, why don't you take your sisters into the kitchen for a sandwich?" Peter said as he poit to the twin to go with Chris in the kitchen as Peter and Lois escape.

"We don't want to die!" Persephone and Meg shouted as they jump out the window.

"Why is everybody acting weird?" Clone Chris asked everyone in the living room.

"Chris, Dude, we know what you did." Tyler said as he sits Clone Chris down on the couch.

"And I have to say, honestly, we all don't approve." John said as he is disappoint in him.

"What I did? That I lied about my age to get into Indian Bingo?" Clone Chris

"No." Lois said.

"That I had hard gas and pooed myself?" Clone Chris reply another thing.

"Close, but still no." Peter reply as he confused Frank Jr and Brian.

"How is that close?" Frank Jr asked him as Lois couldn't take it anymore.

"For God's sake, Chris! You murdered Mr. Lockhart!" Lois shouted what everyone knew while frank, Frank Jr and Stewie rolled their eyes in amusement.

"What? No, I didn't! I was with Frank eating some sandwiches at the park for my break up with Lana!" Clone Chris said as Frank nod by his answer as he hope Lois brought it.

"Come on. Everybody's done something they're not proud of. Like when I used to be a Wonder Twin." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway with him being a wonder twin.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter as a Wonder Twin, along with Jayna.

"Peter, the old schoolhouse is on fire! Let's go!" Jayna suggested.

"Wonder Twin powers, activate!" Peter and Jayna said in unison as they touch rings with each other.

"Form of a hawk!" Jayna transformed into a hawk. "Come on, Peter."

"Yeah, I'll be right behind you" Peter said as Jayna flies away.

"Shape of Jayna's tampon" he becomes a tampon and goes inside Jayna's purse.

"And now I play the waiting game." Peter said from inside the purse.

 **Cutaway Ends**

"Chris, I saw the body. Premeditated murder is one thing, but I will not have lying in this house." Lois said as she repented him for lying.

"Wait, Wait, Wait, Wait, and hold it. Can we finish this after Joan of Arcadia?" Peter said as he grabs the remote.

"Is Joan of Arcadia on?" Stewie asked his parents as he take his seat on the carpet.

"All right. Must be good." The family said out loud how good the show is.

Enjoyable program. Peter said as he turn on the TV.

"We interrupt this broadcast to bring you a breaking news story. we apologize to Joan of Arcadia's sanctimonious, fear-based... and probably overweight viewers. Diana said as the new interrupts the show. As we show tom at the Lockhart house hold.

"That's right, Diane. It appears Ronald Lockhart and his wife Lana... has been brutally murdered by a local bear." Tom said his report as Clone Chris is innocent.

"Well, I'll be damned. Chris, I guess we owe you an apology." Lois said as she apologies to her son.

"That's okay. I just wonder what happened to that bear." Clone Chris said as he asked on where is that bear.

"The whereabouts of the bear are currently unknown." Frank said as he winking at the readers on what he did.

Now we join with the real Chris and Lana arrived at a hotel as they quickly checked in, and hid out as Chris quickly turned on the TV.

"I'm going to get myself ready!" Lana called as she ran inside the bathroom.

"Okay, sweetheart, take your time!" Chris said as he changed the channel to the news program.

"And in breaking news, Robert and Lana Lockhart have been brutally murdered by a local bear. Chris Griffin, who has known the latter as his teacher, tried to save the others, but it was proven to be quite useless as he ran away." Diane Simmons said.

"Chris is currently in mourning right now..." Tom Tucker said.

Chris felt a little bad as Frank plan work since he got Frank letter in his pocket. He leaned of the plan that Frank has made for his escape. he really should go back and meet up with his family when the time is right.

But he made this choice. He made the decision for himself, he was glad he made it. He wanted that family with his precious Lana, he wanted to care and cherish Lana, he and Lana will make the best couple!

But still, both Frank and Jack the Bear did pretty well in the fake evidence... and he knew what that meant.

"Oh Chris..." Lana said off screen.

Chris' lower area stiffened as he turned off the TV and smiled as he saw Lana wearing very sexy purple clothes.

"The trick worked, Lana... nobody suspects your alive and my family doesn't know I'm with you since I have a clone take my place." Chris said as he smiled.

"Oh, Chris!" Lana said as she hugs him.

"Take me! Make me pregnant!" Lana said as she smiled on they can do now.

Chris easily obliged as he hopped right down on Lana and both started kissing as Chris started to feel her breasts. It was truly, to him, the best thing he could ask for...

As the two of them began kissing, Chris started to remove the purple slip from Lana's body as Lana pulled Chris' pants down as his little area came out to poke her. Lana giggled as they parted from the kiss so that Chris could take off his shirt. Once every piece of clothing was off, the two began to kiss again as they started rolling around in the bed.

"Oh Chris... put it in me again... make me pregnant!" Lana smiled.

"Yes!" Chris nodded as he stuffed his little man into Lana's hole. The two were grunting and groaning in pleasure as they started to speed up, faster and faster until they both came at the same time, Chris once again spewing his seed into Lana's womb.

Lana and Chris panted as Lana giggled.

"Do you think that did it?" Chris asked Lana on what they did will make her pregnant.

"I hope so... we'll have to pick up a pregnancy test on the way, but I think after that moment... no doubt for sure, I think I am pregnant!" Lana said as she smiled.

"Chris, how did I ever come across someone as awesome as you?" Lana asked him.

"You're lucky... I'm just glad we'll be married soon... what do you think of the last name... 'Peterson'? Chris smiled as the two of them kissed again.

"Lana Peterson... I like that name..." Lana smiled as the two of them drifted to sleep.

And thus, the newly anointed couple started to sleep, a little life starting to form inside of Lana's body...

Meanwhile in Quahog, Nobody had ever figured out that Chris was still alive and had ran away with his new girlfriend/wife and he was replace by a clone that Frank Jr and Stewie made. Probably for the better, since killing and underage sex was a crime here in Quahog. So, the Griffin Family was still the same...

Well, ALMOST the same. Peter was still an idiot, Lois was still house wife, John and Tyler were still devastated from Chris leaving when they found out but did they best to move on, Frank Jr was sad about Chris' living, but decided it was for the better... and Stewie Griffin was still Stewie Griffin.

As for Frank Mallque and Meg Griffin, They are still the same people and they living at the house when they got older and had more kids in the future.

Meanwhile Persephone Griffin, she had noticed that her family was treating her with a little respect, which is pretty good for her... and they hardly even cared if she did whatever the heck she wanted, so, once she turned eighteen, she met up with John watts, as they were both in love with each other (Persephone is in love with John because she had always felt special feelings for him when he went to comfort her, even if they were weird, at least it was a type of attention, and John was in love with Persephone because... well, aside from wanting to bed her and she is the closest thing he wanted to nab for himself, he always found an attraction to Persephone. He didn't care if people thought Persephone was ugly, those people were wrong!), and thus, when Persephone Griffin moved out to "college", John decided to move out (though Frank, Tyler and Frank Jr would miss John, they knew why he had to do something like this), when in truth, both of them decided to run away to a native village where the two ended up getting married and having their love child. So, all in all, Persephone and John led very happy lives as husband and wife in the spinoff of this show hint hint.

As for Chris and Lana? Well, after they had ran away from Quahog, never to be seen again for this season, the two started to have countless sex-capades in every motel they were in until they were in Vegas. After finding out from a pregnancy test that she was indeed pregnant with Chris' child, both she and Chris were happy as they decided to get their wedding in Vegas out of the way.

Once that was done, they had changed their lives and started anew... Lana eventually had her child... a beautiful baby girl with Chris' eyes and her pretty hair color. Chris and Lana both decided to name her 'Clara'.

And so they led happy lives...

And that was when Clone Chris woke up back in his bed.

"Sheesh... that was the weirdest dream I ever had..." Clone Chris said. "I better stop eating some of that day old pizza before bedtime."

 **Chapter ended**

 **I hope everyone enjoyed! This is thanking for pen123 and Family Guy Fan writer 15, Thank you all for cutaways, scenes, favoring, having me on alerts and with that. In addition, welcome to season 4 what does everyone think about the new intro. Its awesome right. This intro is a part of my child hood so enjoy and see you next chapter.**


	4. Chapter 53: Blind Ambition

**Chapter 53: Blind Ambition**

 **Narrator**  
 _Fresh out the net box  
Stop, look, and watch  
Ready yet, get set  
It's Family Guy!_

We see paparazzi taking photos of the cast as they come out of the limo and they walk on the red carpet.

 **Chorus:** **  
** _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

First it show Frank waling out of the limo with a poster with the words "oh" and he poses for the camera.

Then its shows Meg comes in looking all sexy as she signs autographs while she winks at the fans.

Then it turn to Lois comes in hopping while grabbing rose as she gives a kiss toward the fans.

 _Check it, check it, check it  
Now this is just an introduction  
Before I blow your mind  
The show is All of That and yes we do it all the time_

Then it shows Frank Jr poses as he pull his hat down his chest as he throws a rose to the Fans.

Then next person to show up on the carpet is Stewie. As he flips his hat back to his head while he give autographs to fans.

Then Brian comes in sliding on the red carpet as he waves at the fan as he walks in.

 _So sit your booty on the floor or in a chair  
Ground or in the air  
Just don't go nowhere_

Then Emily comes in give autographs as she smiles at the fans as she tells one of her fans to call her.

Then the scene shows Persephone puts a rose on her mouth with a sexy angry look on her face.

 _Cause everything we do  
It's all of that!  
When entertaining you  
We all of that!_

Then Chris shimming down the carp as he gives the fan a shout out.

Then Peter slide towards the carpet as he flips his hat back on his head.

 _My posse and my crew  
It's all of that!  
So sit still cause we're coming right back_

Then the scene shows John throws a rose at his fans.

As the scene, changes to Tyler puts on rose his mouth as he gives everyone thumbs up.

 _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

 _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

Then scene change to the Family Guy MC Cast walks down the stairs as they take a group photo while looking gangsters of the 80. All this while music ends as the scene fades to black.

Now we join the gang at the bowling alley as everyone is bowling. As Frank bowled and then he made a strike.

"I must say, I do feel a strange satisfaction watching the black ball topple all those self-righteous white pins." Cleveland said as he thinks the ball is a black man while the pins were white people.

"Can't blame them for being self-righteous. The black ball's in their neighborhood uninvited." Joe said as he defined the pins.

"The black ball's done nothing wrong." Cleveland said as he defend the ball.

"If the black ball's innocent, it has nothing to fear." Joe said as he defend the pins again until Frank bops him on the head

"Keep the non-racist here, Joe!" Frank said as he walks towards Peter with his son Frank Jr.

As Peter looks at the bowling ball returner.

"Huh. Wonder what the hell's down there." Peter said as Frank Jr sticks his head inside.

"Judd Hirsch?" Frank Jr replied in shocked while looking he encounters Hirsch, who is working on some sort of hazardous missile.

"Uh... hey." Judd Hirsch said as he says hello.

"What, uh... What's goin' on?" Frank Jr asks Hirsch what he is doing down there.

"Nothing'." Judd Hirsch said as he simply replies with a nonchalant "nothing."

"All right." Frank Jr said as he leave the bowling ball returner. Just in time too as Lois came in.

"Hi, boys! Your ride is here." Lois said as she picks up Frank Jr and put him in her arms.

Hey, you're just in time. Mort's one ball away from a perfect game. Peter said

"Oh, God, the pressure's too much. I just lost control of my bladder. Oh, why didn't I clothespin the end of my penis like Muriel told me to?" Mort said as his strike the pins out and cause him to bowls a perfect game which everyone freaked.

"Oh, my God, you bowled a perfect game." Cleveland said in shocked with his adopted son's, Menma and Negi.

"Mort!" Frank and the Group said as they cheered him.

"Grr-yeah!" Joe said as he shouted too much.

"All right, Mort!" Frank and the Group said as they congratulate him.

"I just never stopped believing. Say no to acid!" Mort said as he brags for his win.

"Geez, relax, Mort. You'd think you were God Himself." Peter said as he drag mort down to calm him down.

"No, He's over there." Frank said as he points at God being at the bar trying to get close to a hot chick.

Hey. You wanna see what I can do? All right, ready? Check it out. Beer. Glass. All right? Now watch this. Oh, Hey, guess I'll go over here for a minute. God said as he Humming while he leave a beer pour his drink in a glass while both items floating in the air.

"Oh, holy crap, that's still pouring itself. Oh, wow. Oh, that's amazing. I've never seen anyone do that. You wanna go out later?" God said as he seals the deal with the chick to ask her out by said trick he did.

"I'll be right back. I'm gonna go tinkle." Lois said to quagmire which cause him to follow her off screen. Now back to the gang at the front door.

"Okay, everybody ready? Hey, where's Quagmire?" Peter asking the group on where is their friend, quagmire.

In the bathroom. Lois searches for a toilet seat cover but there are none. She has to use toilet paper instead.

"Giggety-gig... Gig-gig-giggy." Quagmire said off screen while it freaks Lois. but she continues to use toilet paper to cover the seat.

"Giggety-gig, gig, giggety, giggety." Quagmire said off screen while it freaks Lois again. But she continues to use toilet paper to cover the sea again.

"Gnneeee!" Quagmire groaning as it made Lois paused to try to find the source of the sound which piss off Quagmire.

"Would you just sit down and go to the bathroom, already?!" Quagmire said off screen again until Lois looks up.

As Lois spots Quagmire suspending himself from the ceiling and watching her. This cause her to Shrieks and Frank Jr busted in and kick quagmire ass.

Now we turn to channel six news with Diane Simmons and Tom Tucker

"A scandal at the Quahog Bowling Alley tonight, where a local man, Glenn Quagmire, was charged with peeping in the ladies' room." Diane Simmons said as the scene change to quagmire's mug shot, his prisoner number is BK4454813. This was the same case number given to British actor Hugh Grant, after he got arrested in June 1995 for picking up a prostitute. It also show the ass-whipping that he got from Frank Jr.

"Coming up: Diane's weight." Tom Tucker said about Diane's weight which piss off Diane.

Now we join the gang at the Quahog Police station where they busted out Quagmire.

"He's all yours, Joe." The Female Officer said as she and Joe bring Quagmire out.

"You know, you're lucky I've got some extra pull around here thanks to my eighteen medals for heroism." Joe said as his brag about getting favors from his extra pull around the force and his eighteen medals for heroism

"Sheesh, there he goes again with the medals." Frank said as he is sick of hearing about it.

"Hey, Joe, if you love your medals so much, why don't you marry 'em? Hi-hi-hi-hi! I-I did something like that once." Peter said as he Chuckles while setting about a cutaway.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter sitting next to a blueberry pie in front of a lawyer.

"And in the event of your death, you'd like the insurance policy to be paid to your wife?" the lawyer asked.

"Yep" Peter answered.

"And your wife is this piece of pie?" the lawyer asked.

"You got it. Love you" Peter told the pie.

"Okay... sign here" the lawyer ordered as Peter has pie on his face.

"You know what? You can probably go ahead and cancel that" Peter suggested.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join the gang return home to Spooner Street at the Mallque/Griffin house until the women spots him and they are pissed.

"Well, well, look who's here." Lois said as she so smug and piss off. Until Frank stop them

"All right, all right. Look, I know an apology is due here." Frank said as he pass the conversation to Peter.

"So, Lois, tell Quagmire you're sorry you had him arrested". Peter said as he said the wrong thing which cause frank, John and Tyler to face palm themselves.

"Excuse me? He's the one who owes Mrs. Griffin an apology." Tyler said which confused Peter as to why the boys on her side.

"He was watching me go to the bathroom!" John said his response while Lois nodded.

"Well, clearly he thinks you're attractive, Lois. It's a positive thing. Thank you, Glenn, for complementing our family." Peter said as he thanks quagmire for complementing their family beauty. Until Loretta steps in to the group conversation.

"We have had it with his disrespect for women. We're petitioning the city to have him removed from the neighborhood." Loretta said as Bonnie steps in as well.

"Yeah. I don't want to bring a new baby into the world with him running around." Bonnie said as she rubs her belly in worried until her own son, zeke steps in.

"Okay, first of all, Mom, you've been pregnant for, like, six years, all right, either have the baby or don't." Zeke said his response and he wants his sibling out of her so he can do his own thing without worrying about Bonnie going into labor.

"Second of all, Quagmire's a good guy. He's just a little mixed up." Peter said.

Until A giant chicken leaps at Peter from off-screen and attacks him. As Frank Jr chase after them.

The three engage in a fist fight down Spooner Street. Until they crash into a car still driving. Then the car crash into a train which they jump on while Frank Jr take his turn to kick the ass of the giant chicken. They fought on top of the train until they landed on top off on hand powered railroad cart while they punch eachother. Until the hand powered railroad cart fall off tract as they rolled down the mountain until they fell right into a cruise ship.

As we now join the guest in the cruise were rich people.

"This isn't medium-rare." The rich Man asked his wife.

"Then have them take it back." The rich Woman said as she made her comment.

Until Peter, Frank Jr and the chicken fall through the glass ceiling.

They fought on the ballroom until they reach the band and started hitting each other with violins until the chicken hits them with a cello.

Then they fell into the engine room which cause peter to hit the liver which cause it speed up the cruise ship into the city.

Then the ship stop at the airport as they fought near a plane. The chicken punch them down on the floor as he think that he is winning.

Then both Peter and Frank Jr spots the propeller coming. They protects themselves as the propeller approaches the chicken.

The chicken turns around and yells and is struck by the propeller.

Both Frank Jr and Peter walks away into the horizon, and the chicken's talon twitches.

Now we join them back at the Mallque/Griffin house to finish their conversation with the ladies.

"Sorry about that." Frank Jr said to the ladies as he goes inside to clean up.

"Second of all, Quagmire's a good guy. You know, he's just a little mixed up, that's all. Come on, give him another chance, yeah?" Peter said as he convinces the women to allow him to try to reform Glenn.

"All right, but one more incident like the one at the bowling alley, and Quagmire is out of this neighborhood." Lois said as she and the other women leave.

"Now don't worry about a thing, Quagmire. Your pals are gonna help you change your ways." Peter said as he cheers up quagmire.

"I don't know, Peter. I'm not sure I can do this." Quagmire said as he feel nerves.

As He sees trees and things transform into beautiful women. Then he sees Persephone.

"Persephone, get out of the way." Quagmire said as she walks away to see a fire hydrant turns into a beautiful woman.

Now we join Frank and the gang at quagmire house where Quagmire is naked on his couch with a ceiling fan being placed just above his nude groin. As they begin their intensive conditioning therapy with quagmire.

"All right, Glenn, this exercise should help teach you self-control." Cleveland said as peter turns on the fan near his nude groin.

"Here's this month's Victoria's Secret catalogue." Joe said as Rage shows Quagmire this month's issue of Victoria's Secret catalogue which made quagmire panic.

"Oh, God! Oh, God! Uh, uh, uh, dead kittens, dead kittens! Uh, old nuns. Really old nuns. Uh, Renee Zellweger! Oh, there we go." Quagmire said thinking of non- attractive things to not get an erection is simliar to what Austin Powers tries to do when he's surrounded by the Fembots in Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery. Until he reach Renee Zellweger which cause his erection stop rising up.

"Heyyy, good, good, good." Frank said to the group.

"Uh, yeah." Negi said in agreement.

Now we join the gang at the mall with the women to be judging quagmire. As Glenn seems to be able to function in normal society again.

"Peter, are you sure Quagmire is ready to be out in public?" Lois asked her husband if quagmire okay to be in public.

"Nothing to worry about, Lois. We figured out a foolproof rehabilitation method. I got the idea from when Brian had to wear that cone after his operation." Peter said as he start a cutaway with Brian and Stewie.

 **Cutaway**

We see Stewie playing with Brian as the dog is wearing a cone around his head.

"Okay, okay. If I make this, we're all gonna get laid... ha-ha! Yes! Score! Score!" Stewie cheered as he threw a ball inside the medical cone.

"Boy, I'd really like to chew on my crotch right now" Brian said.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the mall with the gang.

Okay, Quagmire, time to take off your training wheels. Peter said

"*Sighs* OK. I think I'm ready." Quagmire sees lots of attractive girls in the mall.

"Ooohoo!" He groans in pain.

"Oh, boy." Quagmire said in pain until he spots a mother breastfeeding her baby.

"What's the matter, Glenn?" Frank Jr asked him.

Uh... nothing." Quagmire said as he turn around until his spot three cheerleaders are standing by a fountain.

"Oh, Stacey, you dropped your pom-pom in the water." Cheerleader said as her point at the pom-poms in the water fountain.

"I'll get it for you." Second cheerleader said as she goes in.

"I'll come with you." Stacey said as she follows her.

"Me, too." Cheerleader said as she joins her friends.

"But wait a minute. We don't want to get our sweaters all wet. Better take 'em off." Second Cheerleader said as she makes a suggestion to take off their sweaters.

As The three lift their sweaters off.

"Splash fight!" Stacey said as she splash one of her friends.

They splash each other and begin kissing.

"*moans* I-I need... I need some air! I need some air!" Quagmire said as he panting then he runs away.

Until Quagmire screams as he bumps into naked plastic women.

"Naked plastic chicks!" Quagmire said as he runs away again.

Until Quagmire screams as he is Overwhelmed, he flees only to find himself in the mall's security control room, staring at dozens of closed-circuit television monitors from women's dressing rooms.

"Where... Where am I? Am I dead?" Quagmire asked the Security Guard.

"No, this is where we monitor all the dressing rooms in the mall, so we can keep an eye out for shoplifters." Security Guard said his response.

"You don't say." Quagmire said in awe of all the women he can see.

"Oh my God, that one's having a heart attack!" Quagmire said as He sees a woman collapse and rushes to her location.

As glen push her chest then he blows in her mouth to give her air until the women coughing as she awoken. Quagmire saving her life and becoming a hero

"That was amazing!" The ugly women said.

"You saved her life!" Beth said.

"Thank God you know CPR!" The third women said which confused quagmire.

"What the hell's CPR?" Quagmire said as he reveled that he was just using the opportunity to take advantage of her.

Now we join the gang at the drunken clam as Horace puts quagmire newspaper clipping in his hall of fame.

"Congratulations, Quagmire. You're the newest member of my Wall of Fame." Horace said as he show it to everyone in the clam.

"What's wrong, Peter?" Joe asked him on what's wrong.

"Oh, it's nothing, Joe. It's... I dunno... it's just that... all you guys have something to be Proud of, you know? Quagmire got a key to the city. Mort bowled a perfect game. You're always getting medals for catchin' crooks. Hell, even Cleveland used to be an accomplished auctioneer." Peter said as he grows jealous of his friends' heroic achievements while he sets up a cutaway about Cleveland.

 **Cutaway**

We see Cleveland auctioning items.

"Very rapidly I have 125. Do I hear 130? 130,000 For this authentic Comanche headdress? I got one-30. I got one-30. Do I hear one-35? One-40. Do I hear one-for…" Cleveland asked rapidly as an assistant knocks over a totem pole which knocks Cleveland in the head. "One-35 going once" he changes to a slow monotone.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the drunken clam.

"I'm the only one here who's got nothin'. You know, if I died tomorrow, there's nothin' people would remember me for." Peter aid as he hasn't done anything.

"Not if you jumped off a skyscraper and landed on Joan Cusack. People would say, "Hey, remember that guy who landed on Joan Cusack?" Cleveland said as he dares peter to jump off a skyscraper and landed on Joan Cusack.

"Well, things are gonna change. From this day forth, people are gonna know the name Peter Griffin. Even If I have to shout it from the rooftops." Peter said as he rushes out.

On the roof of The Drunken Clam we see peter shouting at people.

"You hear that, world?! I am gonna do something that people will remember me for! Peter said on top of the bar roof until He loses his balance and falls over the edge.

"Whoa! Oh, oh, God. Sorry, sorry... Hey! Joan Cusack! Hello? Uh-oh." Peter said until he realized that Joan is dead, so he stuffs Joan Cusack's body in a mailbox and walks away.

Now we join Peter with John, Tyler and Brian outside doing something with Stewie and Frank Jr.

"Peter, If you just let me talk, I'll explain to you why you shouldn't do this." Brian said as he is trying to get Peter to stop for minute.

"Yeah Mr. Griffin this is just ridiculous." John said as he agree with Brian with Peter's crazy idea.

"Yeah, the thing that you have Stewie riding in seems familiar?" Tyler said as he examines the invention.

"Later, later, guys. I gotta do something people will remember me for. Which is why I've invented a new type of flying machine. Peter said as he puts both babies in an old flying machine.

"You know, I vaguely recall seeing footage somewhere of something exactly like this that." Frank Jr said as he feel nerves on the flying machine.

"Uh... leads us to believe this probably won't work." Stewie said in agreement.

"All right, Stewie, Frank Jr, let 'er rip!" Peter said as he tells them to go.

Both Frank Jr and Stewie starts the flying machine. It crashes and Frank Jr goes flying into a tree. He views Keebler elves.

"Ya! All right, we attack the Rice Krispy guys at dawn. Assuming Judd Hirsch delivers the goods." Elves said as Frank Jr gets out of the tree to warner the Rice Krispy guys.

Now we join Peter with Frank, John, Tyler and Brain at quahog elementary school, near the cafeteria doors.

"Brian, this time I think I got just the thing people will remember me for. I am gonna stop pollution with my new, lovable character, Gary the No-trash Cougar." Peter said as he is dress in a mad cougar costume with blood in the mouth.

He then busts in point his gun at the kids and the kids freak out along with Frank.

"Pick up your trash!" Peter Yelling at the kids

"I wanna know whose cup this is! I said, I wanna know whose cup this is!" Peter screaming at the kids in the cafeteria.

A frightened girl timidly raises her hand and peter drags her near her garbage.

"Pick it up! Pick it up, pick it up, pick it up! Gently." Peter screaming at frightened girl as she pick out her garbage.

"Thank you, sweetie. See what a nicer place this is when we all pitch in?" Frank said as he cries in fear because he also afraid of the Gun in Peter's Hand while John and Tyler sneak behind Peter.

"Like Gary the No-trash Cougar says: give a larbage, throw out your garbage. Spread the word!" Peter said as he thanks the girl then he fires his gun into the air until he was knocked out by John and Tyler.

As the kids cheer the duo and they all leaves the room while drag peter's body.

Now we join ourselves at the drunken clam with pop and crackle with no snap with them.

"Those freakin' elves, man. They just came out of the trees, man. They just came out of the trees." Pop said as he freaks out from what happened to them.

"You and that kid saved my ass back there." Crackle said to pop as he give his thanks for save him

"You saved mine." Pop said as Frank Jr raise his cup to toast themselves.

"Here's to Snap." Crackle said as he raise his cup

"To Snap." Pop said as they toast their drinks in sadness for the loss of snap.

Now we join peter with his friends at their table, as he feels bum out.

"Ah, this sucks. I've been workin' on this all week and I keep comin' up dry. Who am I kiddin'? I'm never gonna be remembered for anything. Not like my great, great uncles, The Siamese twins who fought each other in the Civil War." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about his relatives.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter's conjoined twin uncles as they are attached to each other on the hips, with one in Union regalia and one in Confederate regalia.

"I'm seceding!" Uncle 1 shouted.

"Like hell you are!" Uncle 2 shot Uncle 1 to death. The next scene reads 5 years later. The skeleton of Uncle 1 is still attached to Uncle 2 as the scene shifts to a bar.

"Not too smart huh?" the barkeeper asked.

"Yeah. Did not think that one through" Uncle 2 answered.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the bar with Peter.

"Peter, you have to stop comparing yourself to other people and find out what's special about you." Cleveland said as he tries to cheer up peter.

Now they are watching the news with tom tucker.

"In sadder news, the man who held the Guinness World Record for most drugs ever done by a single human being died today. He was attacked by a pack of wild dogs... he thought he saw." Tom Tucker said on TV, now back to the guys at the bar.

Ooh, there you go, Peter. You could break a world record. Mort said as he gives peter the idea to setting a world record.

"What are you, nuts? I got no special talents. What can I do that nobody else does?" Peter said

"Well, you just ate my tip." Horace the Bartender said as he pass by while notice that peter ate his tip.

"I got it!" Peter said as he has an idea while both John and Tyler are worried.

Cut to the Griffin family driving in the car. Peter begins to swallow a roll of nickels

"Pops, you're really putting away those Mentos." Frank said as he notice him eating something that looks like Mentos.

"Oh, these aren't Mentos, Lois. Everybody, you're lookin' at a guy who's gonna set a new world record. I am gonna eat more nickels than anyone has ever eaten before! Settin' this world record is gonna make me famous." Peter said as he shocks everyone in the car including John and Tyler. Until Frank Jr interrupts Peter with something.

"Just like the world's fattest twins over there." Frank Jr said as he points at the worlds fattest twins in front of them in the car. As we see them driving their motorcycles.

"Did I tell you that I'm doing Atkins?" Right Fat Twin asking his twin.

"Oh, that's not good for you." Left Fat Twin said his response.

Cut to the Mallque/Griffins at home.

Peter begins to shake his stomach rhythmically.

"Dad, we just don't hear it." Meg said as she and sister agree that they couldn't hear it.

"C'mon!" Peter asking his family about the ring.

"Really, Mr. Griffin. It just doesn't..." John said until he was interrupted.

"You're telling me that doesn't sound like "Camptown Races"?!" Peter said his response.

"Not one bit." Brian said his answer.

"Do Short People." Chris asked as he and Frank Jr Laughs.

"Ugh, this is the worst use of money since I tricked out my big wheel." Stewie said as he sets up a cutaway about himself.

 **Cutaway**

The scene shifts to a playground with two girls playing hopscotch as bass-heavy rap music begins to play as Stewie rides up on his big wheel with a massive speaker attached to the back. The big wheel then begins to act as though it has hydraulics.

"Hey, ladies! Check out this ride! Huh?! Yeah! I'm off to make trouble for the establishment!" Stewie shouted as he rolled away on his big wheel.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Back to the Griffin home, outside Peter and Lois's room.

"I love you, Lois." Peter said in the room with the light one.

"Ooo, I love you too Peter. Even if you are full of nickels." Lois said as she turn off the light to get to sleep.

Then the Coins begin to jingle rhythmically, steadily they begin to get faster and faster until suddenly they stop.

"Good night, honey." Peter said as he said goodnight to Lois.

As the Coins jingle once more, then John and Tyler came in to the room to tide up Peter to make the coin in him stop jingle.

Now is morning at the Mallque/Griffin house and Peter's alarm clock goes off, Peter reaches over to turn it off. Peter then opens his eyes, a worried look appears on is face as he gets out of bed and begins to wave his hands in front of his face

"Oh my God! Lois! I can't see!" Peter said as he can't see.

Now we cut to the Health Care Center.

"Uh, how about now?" Dr. Hartman asked peter if he can this picture.

"No, nothing'." Peter said his response.

"Well, that makes me feel much better. You can't see the spaceship, either. My cousin Marshall insists if you look past the picture, you can see a spaceship..." Dr. Hartman said as he bitches about his cousin's picture until Lois interrupts him.

"Can you please just tell us what's wrong with my husband?" Lois asked him about her husband's sight problem.

"Oh, yes. Uh, well, you see, after ingesting such a large number of metal coins, Mr. Griffin appears to have succumbed to nickel poisoning, causing him to lose his sight." Dr. Hartman said as he tells Lois that peter soon loses his sight due to nickel poisoning.

"Oh my God, Lois. I'm blind as a bat! I can't see a damn thing." Peter said as he complain about his sight, two Vaudeville men come in the room.

"You know what else you can't see? The writing on the wall. Vaudeville's dead. And TV's the box they're gonna bury it in. Back then, everybody had a specialty. I, for one, am a tumbler. Watch me leap through this big hoop." Tumbler Man said.

As The Tumbler Man holds up a big hoop and attempts to tumble through it only to fall flat on his face

"Vamp, vamp!" Tumbler Man said as he calls out his partner.

Camera pans to the other side of the room revealing a piano with a pianist who beings to play ragtime music

Now back to the Mallque/Griffin house in the living room as we see the family having a meeting.

"So we're all gonna have to pitch in and help your father out, now that he's lost his sight." Lois said as she explain that the family need to help peter out until they figure out to return his sight back.

"Nobody took care of Mom when she lost her arms and legs and was struck blind, deaf and dumb." Frank Jr said as he sets up a cutaway about Meg.

 **Cutaway**

We see Meg with no legs or arms and is blind and deaf.

"Hey, Hey, Meg, they got a Happy Days spoof in here, but they call it Crappy Days" Peter laughed as Meg continues to lay still, only twitching slightly.

"All right, you know what? If you're not gonna laugh, then I'm not gonna keep you company" Peter leaves Meg angrily, then Frank Jr arrives and shoots Peter with his laser gun, and he becomes blind, deaf, and stupid, Frank Jr recovers Meg back to normal.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Back to the current day Peter on the couch with family.

"This sucks. Now the only thing anybody's gonna remember me for after I die is being, "That Blind Guy." Peter said as he complains about being blind.

"Don't give up yet, Peter." John said as he tries to cheer up Peter.

"I mean, many blind people lead rich, fulfilling lives." Brian said as he joins in.

"Oh, I don't know, Guys. I mean, I guess I can give it a shot." Peter said as he cheer up.

Peter gets up to walk around. Stewie however quickly pushes a footstool into his path causing Peter to fall on his face

"Hahaha, Oh my God! I almost didn't do it. I almost didn't do it. I thought, is this in bad taste? But you know what, I went for it. I went for it and I am so glad I did. Ohh, worth it, totally worth it." Stewie said as he laughs until Frank Jr, John and Tyler rider kick him out of the house threw the window.

Now we cut to that night. Peter wanders out of the bathroom and begins to look for his room. Finds what he thinks is his room and enters what is actually Chris's room.

"Still awake, Lois, honey?" Peter said as he goes in Chris's bed.

"Dad?" Chris said as he wakes up from peter coming inside his bed.

"That's right, I'm your daddy. Shh, shh, shh, don't talk, Lois, don't talk. Just let me do all the work. Yeah, you feel my warm breath on the nape of your neck? My hands on your big soft boobs, moving down your big man like che—." Peter said as he feel out Chris while he thinks he is with Lois.

As Peter suddenly jumps out of bed.

"Holy crap, it's Chris! Uh, ah, so, ah... how ya doing? You do all your homework? Finish all your subjects?" Peter said as he tries to get out of this situation.

"Yes, sir." Chris said.

"Good, Just, uh, just checkin'. Have a good night, son." Peter said.

As Peter backs out of Chris's room and heads back down the hall only to enter another room.

"You still awake, honey?" Peter asking the person in the room.

"What the deuce?" Stewie said as Frank Jr wakes up and he drags peter back to his room.

Now we cut to the next morning, as we see Brian reading a book in the living room and Peter coming with a Seeing Eye dog.

"Peter, what the hell is that?" Brian asking peter about the seeing eye dog.

"Ah, this is my Seeing Eye dog, Brutus." Peter said his response.

"What do you need a Seeing Eye dog for?" Brian asking him on why he needs the Seeing Eye dog.

"Well, 'cause I can't do anything for myself, Brian. I can't drive, I don't know when to cross the street, and I took a dump in the church confessional, which I guess they frown upon If you're not homeless. I thought I could deal with being blind at first, but I don't know. I... I haven't felt this out of place since that week I lived with Superman." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about him living with superman.

 **Cutaway**

The scene cuts to Superman's Lair as the Super Friends hold a meeting.

"We must stop Lex Luthor before he irradiates the world's supply of gold" Superman said as Peter arrived.

"Uh, Hi. Uh, sorry. I know you got a meeting going on, but, um... So, we are officially running low on Mr. Pibb and Cheez-its. So, um, just putting it out there If you're heading to the store later. Uh... you know, uh... 800 mile drive for me, like, uh, five seconds for you. Whatever. I'm not here" Peter left as the superheroes stares at him angrily.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back in the living room as John and Tyler come after seeing the cutaway.

"Mr. Griffin, this is something you're still adjusting to." John said his response.

"You can't expect to get used to it overnight." Tyler said as he tells peter that he expect to get used to it overnight.

"Whatever you say, Guys. I'm going to the Clam." Peter said as he goes toward the door with John and Tyler following him.

As the trio exists, then enters Lois and Frank

"Did Peter leave?" Lois asked brain as she takes her seat with Frank following suit.

"Yeah. Boy, he's really down about this." Brian explain to Lois and Frank what happening.

"Oh, I know. I'm so worried about him. I've been looking into support groups we could join to help him..." Lois said as she looks horrible.

"Are you... are-are you not wearing makeup?" Brian asking Lois about her face.

"Oh, no. I just... You know, since Peter went blind, it's actually been kinda nice not to have to worry about my appearance." Lois said as Frank shrugs in response.

"I see." Brian said.

"Is it really noticeable?" Lois asking them if her face is noticeable.

"Well, a... little mascara wouldn't kill you." Frank said his response.

"Hihihihi, I was kinda thinking I'd try an au natural thing." Lois said as she chuckles.

"You think, uh... You think you have the skin for that?" Brian asked her if she has the skins for what she said.

Now we cut to The Drunken Clam, a woman sits at the bar trying to light a cigarette.

"Oh, uh, let me light that for you, babe." God said to the women.

As God points to the tip of the cigarette as a light night bolt comes down from the sky.

"Wow." Woman said in awe.

'Yeah, magic fingers." God said as he wiggles his fingers.

As God chuckles slyly and inadvertently points his finger at the woman, causing a lightning bolt to strike her, she explodes in a ball of fire causing the bar to catch fire.

Jesus Christ! God said his son name out loud.

"What?" Jesus said as he appear behind his father.

"Get the Escalade. We're outta here." God said as they cheese it out of the bar leave the fire burning.

Everyone runs out of the bar screaming as Peter arrives. Brutus aka Peter's Seeing Eye dog, attempts to pull Peter away from the burning building.

"Come on, girl. I'm thirsty." Peter said as he tries to go in but the dog didn't let him go.

As Brutus barks and he doesn't going in the burring bar.

"All right, you don't wanna come in? Fine. I'll just tie you to this parking meter." Peter said.

As Peter ties Brutus to a homeless man. As Peter enters the bar a car drives by with another dog inside. The dog in the car barks at Brutus causing Brutus to chase after the car, dragging the yelling homeless man along until John and Tyler come in and take the dog away. As that was happing thye both saw a bright light and they became a mysterious man with power of both boys.

Back inside the bar Peter sits down at a bar stool. The camera shows Horace trapped under a fallen wooden beam.

Hey, Horace. Um, I'll have a Pawtucket Patriot. Peter said

Horace groaning as Peter sniffing around.

So, how's your hammer hanging? Peter said

Hey, somebody smokin' in here? Huh. Oh, hey, y-you ever watch that show "Scrubs"? Yeah, Lois had it on the other night, and I was kinda fading in and out, but, uh, you know, I was watchin' and I'm wonderin'... Which one is the funny guy? Peter said

"Peter, grab Horace hand!" The mysterious man said as Horace Grunts in pain

"Geez, Horace, you been drinkin'?" Peter said until he was slap in head by said mysterious man.

"Grab it and pull! Come on! Let's go!" The mysterious man said as tells peter what to do.

As Peter pulls Horace from under the wreckage and he, the mysterious man takes him outside to on looking reporters.

"And here comes the heroic blind man. Tell us, sir, how did you summon the courage to save your friend from that burning building?" Tom Tucker said as he interview Peter about what happened tonight.

"That freakin' place was on fire?!" Peter said in panic as then the mysterious man disappeared in to the crowned. He then defused into John and Tyler, then they come in to see peter okay.

"Oh! Peter, you're all right!" john and Tyler said as they hug him in joy.

"And there you have it. Coming up next... Watch me shave." Tom Tucker said as he finish his report.

As Peter, John and Tyler wanders over towards Lois & Brian.

"Oh! Peter, I am so proud of you for saving Horace's life." Lois said as she hugs him.

"Yeah, Peter, you were amazing." Brian said as he congratulates him.

"Huh. You know, Brian, I guess I was." Peter said with pride.

"And you know what else? People are gonna remember you for this." Frank Jr said as we show you an issue of the quahog informant newspaper which show a report,

" **Hobo killed in dragging death, Donates Eyes to Local Hero!"**

Now we cut to an award ceremony where music similar to that of the Star Wars: A New Hope ending theme is playing.

As Peter, John, Tyler and Frank Jr begins walking towards the front of the audience with Chewbacca at his side. As John, Tyler and Chewbacca turns and growls at Mort Goldman, Mort cringes.

Then Peter, John, Tyler, Frank Jr and Chewbacca continue to walk towards Mayor Adam West and Lois.

As Peter reaches Mayor Adam West where the two exchange glances. Peter continues by exchanging glances with Lois and then Frank Jr exchanging glances with C3PO.

Frank Jr nods and Peter bends down to receive his medal from Adam West.

Camera cuts back to C3PO who now has R2D2 at his side.

R2D2 makes his standard set of noises causing Peter and Frank Jr to laugh.

Camera zooms out to show C3PO, R2D2, John, Tyler, Frank Jr, Lois, Peter, Mayor Adam West & Chewbacca.

As John, Tyler and Chewbacca growls once more.

The audience in attendance begins clapping and the music begins to draw to a close. Credits roll in iconic Star Wars fashion.

 **Chapter End**

 **I hope everyone enjoyed! This is thanking for pen123 and Family Guy Fan writer 15, Thank you all for cutaways, scenes, favoring, having me on alerts and with that. In addition, welcome more of season 4. so enjoy and see you next chapter.**


	5. Chapter 54: Don't Make Me Over

**Chapter 54: Don't Make Me Over**

 **Narrator**  
 _Fresh out the net box  
Stop, look, and watch  
Ready yet, get set  
It's Family Guy!_

We see paparazzi taking photos of the cast as they come out of the limo and they walk on the red carpet.

 **Chorus:** **  
** _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

First it show Frank waling out of the limo with a poster with the words "oh" and he poses for the camera.

Then its shows Meg comes in looking all sexy as she signs autographs while she winks at the fans.

Then it turn to Lois comes in hopping while grabbing rose as she gives a kiss toward the fans.

 _ **Chorus:**_ _Check it, check it, check it  
Now this is just an introduction  
Before I blow your mind  
The show is All of That and yes we do it all the time_

Then it shows Frank Jr poses as he pull his hat down his chest as he throws a rose to the Fans.

Then next person to show up on the carpet is Stewie. As he flips his hat back to his head while he give autographs to fans.

Then Brian comes in sliding on the red carpet as he waves at the fan as he walks in.

 **Chorus:** _So sit your booty on the floor or in a chair  
Ground or in the air  
Just don't go nowhere_

Then Emily comes in give autographs as she smiles at the fans as she tells one of her fans to call her.

Then the scene shows Persephone puts a rose on her mouth with a sexy angry look on her face.

 **Chorus:** _Cause everything we do  
It's all of that!  
When entertaining you  
We all of that!_

Then Chris shimming down the carp as he gives the fan a shout out.

Then Peter slide towards the carpet as he flips his hat back on his head.

 **Chorus:** _My posse and my crew  
It's all of that!  
So sit still cause we're coming right back_

Then the scene shows John throws a rose at his fans.

As the scene, changes to Tyler puts on rose his mouth as he gives everyone thumbs up.

 **Chorus:** _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

Then scene change to the Family Guy MC Cast walks down the stairs as they take a group photo while looking gangsters of the 80. All this while music ends as the scene fades to black.

Now we turn to be Told in the form of a musical documentary about Frank Mallque Jr, a boy who was musical prodigy at an early age as we flashback to him with his band sing a song.

 **Frank Jr and Mc 12 Singing**

 _Me likey that_

 _When a genie grants wishes_

 _About girls blowing kisses_

 _And your momma doing dishes_

 _Me likey that_

" **Okay. Where to start? Ever since I was born, I was dope."** Frank Jr said as the scene change to Frank Jr in his room as one month old near his drums.

"Honey." Meg said as she enter the room to what Frank Jr do.

As she see Frank Jr playing drums

"Oh, my gosh, sweetie!" Meg said in awe of his amazing talent.

" **I loved music, and as soon as I could, I started a band with my three best friends, Maddie, Rosie and Stewie. That's how Meg was born. Right away, people noticed us because our lyrics were beautiful and insightful, poetic even."** Frank Jr said as he flash-forward to his birthday party then to their open mic night

 **Frank Jr and Mc 12 Singing**

 _You're a motherfucking,_

 _titty-sucking Two-bailed bitch_

 _With a popcorn pussy_

 _And a full-on dick_

 _Style Boyz in the house_

 _And we give a fuck_

 _So whip out your nuts_

 _And shut the fuck up..._

" **The thing about Frank Jr and Mc 12 is that their chemistry and their friendship was really authentic. You know, you could tell that they were really friends with each other."** Questlove said as he love the band chemistry and friendship.

" **They were hot."** Carrie underwood said as she chuckles.

" **Before you knew it, we signed with a major label and put out our first single, Karate Guy."** Frank Jr said as he show themselves in karate guy outfits in a dojo sing their song.

 _ **Frank Jr and Mc 12 Singing**_

 _One, two, three, four._

 _(SINGING)_

 _I like to kick it, I'm a karate guy_

 _Kiya, Kiya_

 _Kiya..._

" **Karate Guy? Are you kidding me, man? That song changed my life."** Nas said who was a musician.

 **Maddie**

 _Now I'm in a cowboy hat_

 **All Singing**

 _Yee-haw, yee-haw_

 **Rosie**

 _Now I'm in a cowboy hat_

 **All Singing**

 _Yee-haw, yee-haw_

 **Frank Jr and Stewie**

 _Now we're in three cowboy hats_

 **All Singing**

 _Yee-haw_

" **Rosie. She handled the beats and the music** _ **.**_ **Maddie, you know, he did all the lyrics. And then, Frank Jr and Stewie, these two were the charismatic ones. The ones who brought it all together. You tell me you didn't see them and say, Yo, these two are the stars. But their story starts at Frank Jr Mom's high school"** USHER said as he explains the groups dynamic including Frank Jr and Stewie.

Now the scene changes to Meg and Persephone with their Friends, Patty, Ruth and Esther at cafeteria from James woods Regional High school. As a hot boy passes them by all cool like.

"There's Craig Hoffman! He's such a rebel." Esther said as her awe at his handsomeness.

"Oh my God, he so gorgeous! And he plays by no one's rules but his own." Persephone said in awe of the bad boy.

"Meg, you should help your sister to ask him out. I mean, you're the only one of us who's ever had a real boyfriend and then married. Also you help her get a real boyfriend before?" Ruth said as she set up a cutaway.

 **Cutaway**

We see Persephone approaches a decaying body across the railroad tracks.

"I'm back" she said as flies buzzing around the dead man.

"I brought another picnic. You're such a good listener. You're not like the other boys" Persephone added as a wolf approaches and chews off the boy's arm. "You're so good with animals."

 **Cutaway Ends**

"I guess I could give it a try." Meg said as she talks to her twin into asking Craig Hoffman.

"All right. Here goes." Persephone said as she agrees with her plan.

She leaves the table and approaches Craig.

Hi, Craig. Um, I was wondering if maybe you'd want to... I don't know, go out some time? Persephone asking him out until he laughs.

"Ha. That's about as likely as me playing by someone else's rules besides my own. Which I would never do. I play by my own rules. Nobody else's. Not even my own." Craig said as he doesn't play by anyone's rules but his own, and on occasion not even those.

"How 'bout a movie?" Persephone said as Meg encourage her.

I don't go out with dudes. Craig said as both Meg and Persephone felt bad by being turns down by him. Which Piss off John as he was sitting with Tyler and Clone Chris in their table.

Now back at Mallque/Griffin home as the twin looks to their family for support.

"Mom, Dad, are we ugly?" Meg asked Peter and Lois if she and Persephone are ugly.

"Oh, of course not, sweetie. Lois said as she tells her girl that they are pretty.

Yeah, where'd you get a stupid idea like that? Peter asking where they get this stupid idea from anyway.

"Craig Hoffman." Meg and Persephone said his name out loud.

"Craig...Hoffman? That guy who doesn't play by anyone rulers but his own, that Craig Hoffman? " Frank said in question as he get piss off

"Craig Hoffman said that? Well, he's a sharp kid. You might be ugly." Peter said as he agrees with him.

As both Meg and Persephone goes into the kitchen sobbing while Stewie and Frank Jr were on their seats. While Frank walk toward the kitchen with John while talking.

"hey John, I thought that you and Persephone are going out? Frank asked John.

"Well, Persephone said that she needs to play the field before she even think of going out me!" John said as Frank scratch his by this response.

"That doesn't make since?" Frank said as they reach the table with the twins and the babies.

"Oh, there, there, let me dry those tears, Mom." Frank Jr said as he gives her a tissue while giving her a hug.

"Mmm... yes, yes. Your anguish sustains me." Stewie said as he is taste Persephone's tears for power until John smacks him on the head. As Lois enter the kitchen to confront her daughters.

"Girls, my precious little girls, don't let those awful kids at school make you two feel bad about yourselves. I tell you two what. Tomorrow both of you and I are going to go out and get you girls some brand new outfits. Maybe a pair of those low-rider jeans that'll show off your cute butts, huh?" Lois said as she will take her twin daughters out to the mall and shop till they look good.

"Really? Wow, thanks, Mom." Meg and Persephone said together

"Mmm... Meg and Persephone in low riders." Stewie said as John pictures Persephone thusly in thought cloud.

"Ugh, enough of that." Stewie said as he dismiss the image until the image returns with Meg this time from Frank.

"Go away, damn you." Stewie said he dismiss the image again. Until the image of Meg and Persephone in lowriders returns again.

"Oh, you're going to get it now." Stewie said as he takes a rolling pin and assaults the thought bubble. Until it was destroyed, he looks at his hands thinks about what he had done.

Meanwhile, we join the gang see the Drunken Clam is suffering for closing.

"Oh, my God! Horace, what is this all about?" Peter asking Horace on what's going on.

"What the hell's it look like? I'm puttin' the bar up for sale." Horace said his response.

"Oh, please tell me this is some kind of practical joke. Like, like the kind I used to play when I was an intern at the hospital." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about himself.

 **Cutaway**

The scene shifts to a hospital, where Peter approaches a man in the waiting room.

"I'm afraid I have some very bad news. Your wife's gonna be a vegetable. You'll have to bathe her, feed her and care for her the rest of her life" he told the man.

"Oh, my God!" the man cried.

"Hahahahaha! Nah, nah, nah, I'm just kidding. She's dead" Peter joked as he is laughing at the patient's husband expenses.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back outside of the bar with the gang with Horace the bartender.

"Ever since that Mega-Mall opened across the street, it's been taking away all my business. They got 300 stores, 200 restaurants, 53 bars and an indoor cattle ranch." Horace said as he points at the new Mega-Mall opened across the street, it's been taking away all his business.

As we see the effeminate cow is holding an ice cream walking out of the mall.

"I go to Baskin-Robbins every night and buy myself a little treat." Cow said as it leave the mall, Now we are back to the gang and Horace.

"Now, how the hell am I supposed to compete with that?" Horace asking his friend on how he will compete with that mall.

"You need to fix the place up." Frank said as he thinks of fixing the bar up.

"Reinvent the Clam's image. And we'll help ya." Zeke said as he and the gang will help

That'll take forever. Horace said as this project will take time until Peter interrupts him.

Not if we do a 1980s fixin'-stuff-up montage. Peter:

As electro-pop music plays "One Foot in Front of the Other" by Bone Symphony is heard. It played during a montage on the 1984 film Revenge of the Nerds.

 **Bone Symphony**

 _Open your eyes_

As the gang enter the bar with cleaning supply and paints, as Cleveland and Joe mop the floors of the bar. While Peter, Frank, Menma, Negi, Rage and Zeke pain the outside of the bar blue until peter paints Horace with painting the bar.

 _ **Bone Symphony**_

 _A helpful surprise_

Now we join quagmire hammering nails to the bars long table until he gets distacted by a hot women passing by the bar. Then he notice a nail on Joe's leg as both Quagmire and Negi try to pull it out while he paints the wall inside the bar.

 _ **Bone Symphony**_

 _A dream in disguise_

Now we see Frank, Peter and Cleveland made the robot from Revenge of the Nerds to clean the floors of the bar.

"Beeping!" The robot said as it that sweeps the floors until it goes rouge, then it chase his craters, Frank, Peter and Cleveland out of the bar. Then the robot smashes one of the windows.

 **Bone Symphony**

 _You know we can have it_

 _A place we can be it's so good to see..._

Now we join the gang outside the bar as it looks even worse than before.

Wow, I think we made it worse. Quagmire said the truth to the gang.

Boy, I do not envy whoever has to clean that mess up. Peter said as Frank sneaks away to the mall.

Now we join up with Lois, the twins, John, Tyler, Brian, Frank Jr and Stewie inside the Mega mall.

"John, Tyler and Brian, why don't you take Stewie while me and The Twins go clothes shopping?" Lois said as she and twin went to clothes store while John and Tyler plus Frank Jr, Brain and Stewie went the other way.

You know, it's awfully dangerous for us babies to be walking around the mall at our height. I say, let us get on your backs. Stewie said as he climes one of the boys.

"Oh, for God's sake." John said as Stewie clime on his back while Frank Jr is on Tyler's.

"Strong with the force, young Skywalker is." Frank Jr said as he quotes Yoda from Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back.

"God, I don't believe this." Brian said in shocked as he thinks that Frank Jr does a good Yoda impression.

"That is why you fail." Stewie said it like Yoda.

Now we join Lois, Meg and Persephone at the clothes store. Lois is checking out clothes while the girls were in the changing room.

"Oh, what about this, Meg? A pink baby-tee that says "Little Slut." That seems pretty hip." Lois said as she picks up a pink baby-tee for Meg.

"I don't know if that's really me, Mom." Meg said from the change room.

"Well, what about this, Persephone? they've got one that says "Porn Star" and another that says "Sperm Dumpster." And they're all written in glitter." Lois said as she picks up another baby-tee, but this time for Persephone.

"All right, all right." Meg said to shut her mom up.

"Give me "Sperm Dumpster." Persephone said as she ask for the baby tee.

"That's the spirit!" Lois said as she passes her girl the shirts.

"You finding everything okay?" Sales clerk asking Lois if she has everything she need.

"Yes, thank you." Lois said as she tell her response to the sale clerk.

"Well, you just let me know if you need any..." Sales clerk said until the twins come out of the changing room wearing the baby-tee.

"How do these jeans look?" Meg asking her mom about their new look which shocked the sales clerk.

"AAAAAAAAAAAGGGH!" Sales clerk said as the sales clerk douses herself in gasoline, ignites herself on fire and jumps out the window.

Now we join Frank Jr, Stewie, Brian, John and Tyler near a shoe store as they make a bet with Stewie.

"Ten bucks". Stewie said his price on doing the bet.

"Five bucks." Frank Jr said the price of the bet.

"Eight bucks and I'll do it." Stewie said his final deal until they cave in.

Fine. Frank Jr and Brian said as they agreed on the price, then they turn to John and Tyler while they all nodded agreement on the price.

As Stewie running naked through the mall.

"Help, I've escaped from Kevin Spacey's basement! Help me!" Stewie said as he returning to the gang.

"Ha! I am so outrageous. Give me the cash." Stewie said as they agrees to give Stewie $8 if he runs through the mall naked.

"Cold in here?" Brian asked him about him being naked.

"Nope, just really small." Stewie said as he counts the bills the gang gave him. He clearly fingers through 8 bills and there are still a number of bills left in his hand.

Now we join Lois and the twin waking around the mall, while the twin feel even worse about what they look like.

"Face it, Mom. No matter what we wear we still look ugly." Persephone said with Meg nodding in agreement.

"Oh, Meg, Persephone, you two are being... that's... eh... Let's try down here." Lois said as she point at another store while passing a TV that has the channel 6 news with Tom Tucker and Diane Simmons.

"Coming up next, Joan Rivers speaks to us from beyond the grave. But first let's go to the Quahog Mega-Mall where Asian correspondent Tricia Takanawa is handing out makeovers." Tom Tucker said his report as he passes the news to Asian correspondent Tricia Takanawa who at the mall.

"That's right, Tom. Some lucky hideous woman will be transformed by our makeover magicians into someone of value to society." Tricia Takanawa said as she is giving away free makeovers to some lucky hideous woman.

"Girls, that's it! You could get a makeover! Oh, that'd be just the thing to boost your confidence. Miss Takanawa! Miss Takanawa! Over here! Oh, my daughters needs a makeovers like there's no freakin' tomorrow!" Lois shouted for Miss Takanawa to come over and give her daughters makeovers.

As Miss Takanawa and her cameraman come by until the cameraman see the twins. He screams in terror, douses himself in gasoline, lights himself on fire and jumps out the nearest window. Tricia holds the camera herself.

"It looks like we've got a winner, Tom." Tricia said in front of the camera as Lois smiles at her girls that they have their shot of being beautiful.

Now back to the drunken clam, as the gang fail in make the clam better.

"Face it, The Clam is doomed." Menma said out loud.

"Aw, come on, guys. We can't give up now." Peter said as he tries to cheer up his friend and sons.

"Aw, Peter, we've tried every theme we could think of, and everything's failed. Especially that, that Coyote Ugly theme..." Joe said as he sets up a cutaway about the gang.

 **Cutaway**

The scene shifts to Joe, Zeke, Rage, Frank, Peter, Menma, Negi, Cleveland, and Quagmire dancing on top of the bar to an Irish jig. Until Joe hits himself in the face with his leg and fall over.

 **Cutaway Ends**

"Ah, it's no use. This place is finished. Quagmire, go get the "For Sale" sign." Horace said as he tells quagmire to get the "For Sale" sign from the storage room.

As quagmire did that until he spots something inside the storage room.

"Hey, Horace, what the hell's this?" Quagmire asking Horace on what is this machine inside the closet.

"Eh, it's a karaoke machine. I never got around to installing it." Horace said his answer to quagmire question. As Peter then gotten an idea from looking at the karaoke machine.

"A karaoke machine? Wait a minute, that's it. We'll turn this place into a karaoke bar! Oh, man, that's the best idea since they faked the moon landing." Peter said as he set up a cutaway about Neil Armstrong.

 **Cutaway**

The scene shifts to Neil Armstrong standing in a television studio.

"Okay, cut" the director ordered as Neil Armstrong exits the studio.

"Wow, Neil Armstrong. Hey, wait a minute, you're supposed to be on the moon. I just saw it on TV" a passerby said.

"Oh, there's, uh... uh... uh... a tape delay. And, uh... uh, solar winds..." Neil smashed the passerby in the head with his helmet and shoves him in his trunk.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we are back at the house as Lois come in through the front door to make an announcement.

"Frank... take a look at your wife and sister in-law." Lois said as Meg and Persephone come in with an all new look.

As Meg come in, she now has blonde long hair, purple shirt with long sleeves but it show her shoulders, and it also shows a view of her breast. She wears a semitransparent skirt with blue jeans and wears high heels straps. Persephone sill has her hair but with red hair extensions. She wears a teal shirt with a semitransparent skirt and blue leggings, along with a new pair of boots and a new jacket, both with orange chevron stripes.

While Frank looks in shock and awe of his wife new look. But peter looks nerves for no reason.

"Oh, my God, Lois, I'm sorry. I-It was 20 years ago, I'd never even heard the word rubber." Peter said stupid or something that will be reveal in future chapters.

"Pops, that's Meg and Persephone." Frank said as he snap peter out of his episode panic.

Oh. Peter said as Frank walks over to his wife with Frank Jr in his arms.

"Mom?" Frank Jr asked in confusion.

"What do you think? Your Grandma paid for the makeover. I was thinking that i could need a new look on life." Meg asked her son which caused him to jump into her arms

"I love it!" Frank Jr said as he hugged Meg, then she turn to her husband.

"I got a makeover, Frank, so what you think of the new me?" Meg asked him as Persephone walk over to her dad.

"Dad! Don't we look great?!" Persephone said as she spouse her hair as Frank give meg his response.

"Oh, Meg, honey, I always thought you were beautiful just the way you are!" Frank said as he tells her that he loves her no matter what.

Until Peter starts laughing from what Frank said, which piss him and Frank Jr up.

"Hahahahaha, Oh, God, You couldn't do that with a straight face huh, Frank! Ha-ha, Welcome to the family, sweetheart. Chris, go burn all Meg's old pictures." Peter said as he hug his daughter on their success on turning beautiful and ask Chris to burn the wins old pictures.

Until Frank, John and Tyler jump Peter and start kicking his ass offscreen.

Back at the Drunken Clam, as Mort Goldman sings "The Morning After" in karaoke bar

 **Mort Goldman**

 _There's got to be a morning after_

 _We're moving closer to the shore_

 _I know we'll be there by tomorrow_

 _And we'll escape the darkness_

 _We won't be searching anymore_

Now back to the gang plus Frank Jr at their seat looking around the bar and there were a few people here.

"I don't understand it. This place should be jumping." Cleveland said out loud since he notice that the karaoke isn't working.

"Well, we just need to kick it up a notch." Peter said as he give Frank Jr a nod, then Frank Jr runs toward the stage.

"Horace, hit it." Frank Jr said as he turns on the karaoke machine to play Journey's "Don't Stop Believing!"

 **Frank Jr**  
 _Just a small town girl living in a lonely world  
she took the midnight train going anywhere_

As Frank Jr and Peter grabs Cleveland, Menma and Rage by the arms towards the stage.

"Oh, Peter, don't make me do the...?" Cleveland said until he and his boys started singing with a spotlight in front of them while they dancing.

 **Cleveland, Menma and Rage** _  
just a city boy born and raised in South Detroit  
He took the midnight train going anywhere_

Then Frank appear on stage dress like with a long black wig and dress like a rock star.

 **Frank** **  
** _A singer in a smoky room  
A smell of wine and cheap perfume  
For a smile they can share the night  
It goes on and on and on and on_

As the bar change into a rocking roll stage, where Rage is on drums, Zeke is on the key border with Joe backing him up, Peter is on guitar with Cleveland backing him up. Then it show Maddie and Rosie sings as they play rock star in their room.

 **The Band with Maddie and Rosie**  
 _Strangers waiting up and down the boulevard  
their shadows searching in the night_

Now the scene show Quagmire being pamper by cheerleaders, then Eddie walker, Zack Murdock and Matt Kennedy from Family Guy OC Universe in the shower naked also sing the song.

 **Eddie walker, Zack Murdock and Matt Kennedy**

 _Streetlights, people, living just to find emotion  
Hiding somewhere in the night_

Then it shows the rest of the OC Cast sing with the MC Cast, then finally it shows Negi with Chris (the clone) slam on the drums _._

 **John and Tyler**  
 _Working hard to get my fill  
everybody wants a thrill  
Paying' anything to roll the dice  
Just one more time_

Then it shows Meg on rim at a gym doing gymnastics while listening to the song, then the scene cuts to both Chris dancing until they change into The silhouetted dancers held iPods while listening to them with Apple's supplied earphones. Then we show Adam west coming toward the door of the bar. When he hear a familiar tune play at the bar.

"Oh, God. I love this song. And I love it when amateurs sing the lyrics. But I hate baseball cards." Mayor West said as he rushes in to listen the song as Joe and zeke are on stage sings their part of the song.

 **Joe and Zeke**  
 _Some will win, some will lose  
Some were born to sing the blues_

As they pass their microphones to Negi and Quagmire as they land on the ground.

 **Negi and Quagmire** _  
Oh, the movie never ends  
It goes on and on and on and on_

"Giggety-giggety-giggety-goo!" Quagmire said as his shredder on the keytar.

Now we join a funeral as people take out a dead person to the hushed car.

"Hey, that's Journey!" the people cries out the song as they drop the casket as they rush toward the bar living the widow to mourn.

"Howard!" The widow crying, until she hears the song.

"Oh...! That is Journey." the widow said as she too rushes to the bar.

 **The Band with Frank Sr**  
 _Strangers waiting up and down the boulevard  
Their shadows searching in the night_

 **Amy Walker and Cindy Redmond** _  
Streetlights, people, living just to find emotion  
Hiding somewhere in the night_

Now we see Lana with a pregnant belly sing as well in her new apartment with the real Chris, then we see Cleveland rocking his guitar to the song with Joe on keyboard, then we see Frank and Peter sing side to side on stage while with Meg sing in the gym, then we see Amy Walker sing with Cindy Redmond then everyone was on stage dance with the cheerleaders.

 **Frank Jr and the band**  
 _Don't stop believing  
Hold on to that feeling  
Streetlights, people  
Don't stop believing  
Hold on  
Streetlights, people  
Don't stop believing  
Hold on to that feeling_

As they started dancing on stage as the cheerleader were shaking their butts at the crowed, then it turn to Peter and his drinking buddies on the mic.

 _ **Peter and the gang**_

 _Streetlights, people_

Then it turns to The two Chris silhouetted dancers held iPods while listening to them with Apple's supplied earphones on two different side of the screened as they dance towards each other until there was one Chris silhouetted dance toward the screen. As Frank Jr sings the high pitch.

 **Frank Jr**

 _wowooooohooo_

As the music ends with everything returning to normal as Joe grunts, yells while Peter does on air guitar solo with one of Joe's legs then Frank Jr grabs one leg and smashes him on the karaoke machine.

"Guys, we were freakin' electric!" Joe said as he gets back to his chair.

"Yeah, they loved us!" Quagmire said in cheer.

"Gentlemen, this is a sign! We are gonna start our own rock band! Huh? Who's with me?!" Peter said as he asked the group to put their hands in.

"I'm in!" Cleveland said as he put his hand in.

"I'm in!" Menma said as he put his hand in above of Cleveland's.

"I'm in!" Negi said as he followed soon after Menma's hand.

"I'm in!" Joe said as he gets in the action.

"I'm in!" Zeke said as he followed his father soon after.

"I'm in!" Rage said as he joins in this band of misfits.

"I'm in!" Frank said as he agree on this idea while Frank Jr cheer him on.

"I'm in!" Quagmire said as he followed last, the band was formed.

As Bill Cosby appears before a commercial break as he did in his 1970's animated series Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids.

"Looks like the guys are gonna form a rock band. Maybe they'll learn a little something. Stick around, you just might learn something, too. Hey, hey, hey!" Bill Cosby said as he passes the ball and then scene changes black.

Meanwhile at Madison Squared Gardens, New York at Night

The Gardens are decorated for a massive concert. Spotlights are everywhere and thousands upon thousands of screaming people try to get inside.

As the light up marquee reads 'Tonight Only! FingerBang!'

"Stellar Productions presents THE boy band of the decade!" Narrator said to the audience.

In the ticket line, Mobs of young girls going crazy. They hold signs saying 'I love Fingerbang!' and stuff.

"It's FINGERBANG! LIVE FROM MADISON SQAURE GARDENS!" Narrator said.

In Madison Squared Gardens, New York at Night, The inside is just as crazy, colored lights bouncing all around the packed audience.

A low, resonating synth sound beings and the crowd gets even louder.

As Drum Hits start to hit, in time with new lights that shoot all over the stage.

A smoke machine starts up, as the music builds and builds...

Until finally on stage, there is an EXPLOSION! And Stewie, John, Tyler, Maddie, Rosie and Frank Jr are thrust onto the stage in sexy poses - dressed in full on boy band outfits, complete with headset microphones.

The audience goes absolutely wild. Many of the girls pass out.

The music kicks into a beat, and the boys start to dance in gay choreographed boy band style.

 **Mc12 band**

 _Fingerbang Bang Bang_

 _Fingerbang Bang Bang Bang Bang_

 _I'm Gonna Fingerbang - Bang you into my life!_

 _Girl you like to Fingerbang and its Alright!_

 _Cuz I'm the king of Fingerbang Let's not fight_

 _\- I'm Gonna Fingerbang Bang you every night!_

The music slows a little and Frank Jr steps forward for his solo. Now the girls go super crazy.

 **Frank Jr**

(As he singing solo, holding on to his headset microphone)

 _And girl you know that you're the only girl for me._

 _Girl, girl, you're the girl of my Destiny, Girl..._

 _You're my girl, You're my girl. My girl, girl._

"FRANK JR I WANT YOUUUUUUUUUUU!" A Teenage girl shouts for Frank Jr to love her.

As Frank Jr gives the girl a wink and then slides back into position with the rest of the group.

 **Mc12 band**

 _Fingerbang Bang Bang Bang Bang_

 _Fingerbang Bang Bang Bang Bang_

 _I'm Gonna Fingerbang -Bang you into My_

 _Life._

As the scene end with us back at the Mallque/Griffin's House, inside Frank Jr and Stewie's Room at Night

As Frank Jr is in Bed, rolling around with a huge smile on his face.

"YYYESSS! YYYESSS! YYYESSS! I'M A STAR! I'M A STAR! I'M—!" Frank Jr shouted as he was dream the whole concert.

Suddenly, Frank Jr wakes up and looks around.

"AW! I'M NOBODY! GOD DAMMIT!" Frank Jr shouted in disappointment.

As Frank Jr looks bummed, but then starts to look around.

"Wait a minute... Maybe that was a sign from God... That's it isn't it?! You want me to start a boy band so I can make ten million dollars, don't you?! THAT'S IT!" Frank Jr said as he thinks god gave the idea to make a band of his own.

As Frank Jr jumps out of bed and gets to work on a plan.

Now we join everybody in The Mallque/Griffin house garage for their band, as Peter dresses like a member of Devo, Cleveland like a member of a funk band, Joe like a glam rocker, Frank looks like Justin Timberlake from his NSYNC album bye bye bye, Negi looks like Austin powers, Menma looks like one of the member of the Jackson five, Zeke looks like billy ray with his cowboy hat and Rage looks like the crow.

"You know, Peter, just because you guys entertained a bunch of drunken idiots at a karaoke bar doesn't mean you have what it takes to form a band." Brian said as he thinks this is not a good idea.

"Oh, Brian, you're just ants at a picnic." Frank said as he excided for this moment.

"We're gonna be awesome." Peter said out loud as what they said confused both John and Tyler plus Brian.

Wait, wait, what, what is he? He is ants at a picnic? John asked them in question

Is that what you just said? I just, he, he is ants at a picnic? Tyler said in agreement with John.

All right. Just making sure. Brian said also agreement of the question while he, John and Tyler leave as quagmire enter the garage.

"Yeah, hey, sorry I'm late, fellas." Quagmire said as he like Tommy Lee, drummer of Mötley Crüe.

"Aw, cool, Glenn. You look just like Tommy Lee." Cleveland said about quagmire new look.

"Well, I figure it would be appropriate since I just found out I got hepatitis." Quagmire said something nasty which gross out Frank, Menma and Rage.

"You know, maybe we should have decided on outfits that matched. Now we all look like a bunch of queers." Joe said as he complain about their costumes clashing with each other.

"Fellas, it doesn't matter what you wear, as long as you play kick-ass rock 'n' roll and do this with your tongue. Am I right, Gene?" Peter said as he does tongue wagging and called out gene Simmons into the garage.

"You got that right, Pete. "Gene Simmons said as he and Peter do tongue wagging. Gene's tongue becomes so long he reach the kitchen where Lois is and it was doing naughty stuff to her.

"Hahahahaha, Oh, my. Hi, Gene, I didn't know you were here." Lois said as she says hi to gene from off screen while she laughing at his tougue as it touch her in her pussy off-screen. Which piss off peter in the garage.

"All right, all right. Keep it in your mouth, rock star." Peter said as he pulls back Gene's tongue so to roll it back up manually.

Meanwhile inside the house, as Maddie, Rosie and Stewie are standing in the living room.

When Frank Jr is pacing back and forth in front of them.

"Gentlemen, thank you for coming. This is the beginning of a great time in our lives. God have finally spoken to me, guys, and he has told me... how I can make ten million dollars." Frank Jr said as he tells how to make ten million dollars.

"How?" Maddie ask him

"Boy band." Frank Jr said as he tells them they need to form a boy band.

"Boy band?" Rosie ask in question what he said.

"Boy band." Frank Jr said it again.

"I'm not being in any faggy boy band." Maddie said as she isn't interested.

"THERE'S NOTHING FAGGY ABOUT TEN MILLION DOLLARS, MADDIE! THIS WAS A MESSAGE FROM GOD!" Frank Jr said as he shouted at his peer group and point at the ceiling.

"Dude, we don't have any musical talent." Rosie said as they didn't know about the music business.

"That didn't stop any of the other boy bands, dumbass!" Frank Jr said as he is holding out a cassette tape over them

"I've got prerecorded music we can sing to just like they do. All we need to do is practice our choreography OVER and OVER and OVER." Frank Jr said his plan on make this boy band work.

"Mrph rrmph rmh rm." Stewie mumble some insult about this idea which Frank Jr hear anyway.

"Shut up, Stewie. And THEN I know I can get us a gig at the quahog prison. So everybody get in a straight line, and we're gonna listen to the song from the top and…" Frank Jr said the rest of his plan until Maddie interrupt him.

"Wait a minute... There's only four of us." Maddie said as her point out the number of their group.

"So?" Frank Jr said in question.

"So all boy bands have five members." Maddie said as her point out that they need more members.

"What?" Frank Jr said out loud as Maddie explain why they need more members.

"N'sync, Backstreet boys, New Kids on the Block... All had five members." Maddie said the boy band that have five member in their bands.

"She's right." Rosie said her response.

"Dammit! Okay, okay... We'll put off practice for now, and hold auditions for a fifth member! Get the word out that auditions will be tomorrow morning!" Frank Jr said as he tells them to get the word out so they hold auditions for a fifth member!

"Here's an idea for band you guys." Stewie said he pulled down Frank Jr's pants, Rosie's skirt and pulled up Maddie's dress of showing their diapers and then Stewie took pictures of them.

"This should go to the CD album." Stewie said as he run to his room.

"DAMMIT STEWIE" Frank Jr shouted as he chase Stewie around the house with Maddie and Rosie following after.

Now we join the twins at James woods high school as they instantly becomes popular.

"Whistles Wow! Great job getting hot, Meg and Persephone!" Student said to the twin.

"Gee, thanks!" Meg said her thanks back to the student as the twin end up at their locker.

"Hey, Girls." Craig Hoffman said in not caring tone.

"Oh, hi, Craig". Meg and Persephone said as they say his to him in awe.

"Now that you're both attractive, how about we go out some time?" Craig said as he asked them out.

"Gosh, we'd love to. Meg said in awe as she get all tingle inside which piss off john and Frank, since he follow her to school.

"Great. I'll pick you up whenever I feel like it." Craig said as he leave, Connie and the popular girls come in.

"Hey, Meg and Persephone. We noticed Craig Hoffman just asked you out. That makes you cool. Wanna hang out with us?" Connie DiMico said as she asked them to hang out.

"Wow. Sure. Persephone said as she feels that she is finally accepted. Until Craig appears behind them.

Hey. I'm here to pick you up. Craig said as he ready for their date until John jumps him.

The next day, Meg is sitting down on her bed reading a book while Frank walks in to get his green shirt. He then finds a bunch of paper in his shirt pocket.

"What are these?" Frank asked.

"Sorry, I needed a place to put the phone numbers," Meg said.

"Phone numbers?" Frank asked.

"Yeah, the boys were all over me today," Meg said.

"WHAT?!" Frank shouted.

"What? I'm not gonna call them or anything," Meg said.

"No it's just that they wouldn't even give you a second look before you changed," Frank said

"But now that you're blonde and wear different clothes, their pants suddenly don't fit! It's disgusting!" Frank said

"Frank, I LIKE the new me!" Meg said.

"Well I liked the old you, If I wanted a generic blonde... Are you wearing a microskirt?" Frank said

"Hmmm? Yeah, it was hot today," Meg said.

"Anyway, if I wanted a generic blonde, I'd go back to Nikki..." Frank said to his aid before Meg slowly crossed her legs

"Um... could you not do that?" Frank said

"Sorry, my legs were uncomfortable," Meg said.

"Um, well you're not the same girl I fell in love with," Frank said,

"...Did you pierce your tongue?!" Frank asked her.

"It goes with the new look," Meg said.

Frank then grabs Meg's book, throws it across the room, grabs her and kisses her wildly on the bed.

"Yes." Frank smiled at the girl as he moved her closer to his body. "Are you ready?" He asked.

"Yes, I am." Meg nodded her head and eagerly placed her lips back on her husband's lips.

The former Warrior Emperor mentally smirked as his plan started coming together and his hands started to trail up the girl's back and his hands catch the pink shirt; making it ride up her upper body, and it went up past her sickly pale green bra.

"Take off your clothes." Frank ordered and the girl complied as she got onto her knees and lifted her shirt from her body and the former Emperor saw the sickly green bra.

"Now your pants and shoes and socks." Frank order her that off the rest

"Alright." Meg replied as she rolled onto her back and kicked her shoes off, pulled her socks off and threw them to the other side of the room, and then blushed as she turned back onto her side and faced the black haired boy and looked into his Blue eyes that captivated her.

"You know I can't be the only one naked, right?" She asked as Frank nodded in response and got off the bed and the proceeded to disrobe, all the while the Rhode Island girl got back on her bed and tossed her pillows away.

Frank threw his royal robes minus his boxers away and climbed back onto the bed and laid next to the girl and gave her another charming smile that gave her butterflies in her stomach. "What do you want me to do?" He inquired.

"Touch me… uh, down there." Meg blushed as she opened her legs.

Frank doesn't reply as he moved his hand down to the panty covered womanhood and started to slowly rub it through the fabric. The Rhode Island born girl softly moaned as the fingers stimulated her covered pussy.

Frank furrowed his brow as he felt what felt like pubic hair, and he nearly stopped what he was doing all together as he calculated just how much pubic hair the girl had.

'This is a problem.' Frank thought as the onyx haired boy found yet another thing to do before the girl he was feeling up, would be on par with the girls he knew from his world.

'I don't think I can perform oral sex with all that pubic hair.' Frank added as the horrible idea of the girl's pubic hair falling into his mouth as he performed oral sex.

"Let's do this." Frank whispered to his lover as he felt her panties grow very wet from his ministration.

"Do… it." Meg panted as she bit her lip and unclipped her bra and lifted her bottom into the air as her lover pulled her panties off of her and she touched her glasses and couldn't decide on whether or not she wanted to take them off.

"Take them off." Frank suddenly whispered into her ear and she almost jumped in shock, not noticing the Blue eyes boy on top of her with his mouth by her ear and their waists were touching.

Meg nodded wordlessly as she took off her glasses and carefully set them on her nightstand before she felt a hardness and warm heat entered her vaginal lips.

"…Nnnn…" She groaned through her teeth as the tick member started to stretch her vagina.

"It's okay." Frank assured as he kissed his lover's lips and brought his right hand up to her bare breast and massage it, making her moan into the kiss.

"The pain will go away soon." Frank said as he groaned as he pushed his nine inch penis deeper into his lover's pussy.

"Okay stop!" Meg told her lover as tears stung her eyes and her nails had dug into Frank's chest to stop him from advancing, but he already had all nine inches into her.

Frank doesn't respond as he started to slowly push his pelvis in and out of his lover who grunted in pain, Frank's above average penis stretched her vaginal walls with each thrust and the Rhode Island girl clenched her legs around the beautiful young man's waist and kept him in place as he continued to thrust into her as he picked up his paste, and her pain started to turn to pleasure.

"Do you… lllike this?" Frank said as he groaned as he moved his hips in rhythm with his teenage wife that moved to match his thrusts.

"Yes!" Meg exclaimed as she held her eyes closed in bliss and she fully enjoyed the love and physical pleasure that she was thankfully finally on the receiving end on. 'I love this! I finally know what it means to be loved!' The brown haired girl thought in joy.

"I LIKE IT! DON'T STOP!" Meg said as she added as her nails scratched her lover's back.

Frank felt his end approaching and quickly conducted that his revival in this new world made him a virgin again and he cursed the curse of being a virgin and not having much sexual endurance.

"How close are you?" Frank asked as he leaned forward and started to kiss and suck on his lover's neck.

"Clooose." Meg moaned as she ran her fingers through her lover's hair and tightened her legs grip on her lover.

"Give me a hickey." Meg ordered as she wanted proof of what transpired here on this day and to be honest, she really wanted a hickey just for the hell of it.

As Frank went to work on making his lover cum before him as his hands played with her b-cup breasts and his thumbs made sure to give extra attention to her perky nipples that ached for any and all attention offered.

"I can't hold it!" Frank declared as he felt his end nearing and he went into overdrive to satisfy his lover.

"I'm going to cum!" Frank shouted out loud.

"Me too!" Meg replied as she felt her lover ejaculate and ropes of semen shot into her womb.

"YYEEESS!" OH!" Meg screamed as she is being fuck by Frank really hard. She orgasmed as her lover came into her.

The two teenagers finish their climaxing as the young saiyan man fell onto his back and the young woman instinctively moved her body to grab a hold of her lover.

As Megan breathed heavily as she held her man close to her.

Now we join Peter and the boy arriving at Rhode Island state penitentiary.

"Here we are, fellas, our first major gig." Peter said as he get out of the car.

"Peter, this is a house of corrections." Cleveland said as he feels nerves.

"Yeah dude we could die Mr. Griffin!" Tyler said behind John back since he saw lots of prison movies and new repots.

"Yeah, but you gotta start somewhere, fellas. That's how you evolve, like when the Tin Man found out he was gay." Peter said as he tries to pump up everyone and sets up a cutaway.

 **Cutaway**

The scene shifts to the yellow trail in The Wizard of Oz. "If I Only Had a Heart" plays. The Tin Man is leaning to the left and right, as Dorothy and Scarecrow prepare to catch him. The Tin Man falls on top of Scarecrow.

"Oh. Oh. Look what happened by accident" The Tin Man said.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Meanwhile the kids attempt to secure a gig at the prison, but must first evade two security guards by causing a stampede.

As we see the cops are standing in the same area, trying to look tough. As a man walks by.

"HEY!" Old security cop shouted at the guy.

The crazy guy stops and looks.

What are you doing? Old security cop asking the man.

I've got a new strain of anthrax that I will soon unleash upon all of North America. The crazy guy said his response.

Move along sir. Old security cop said as he tells the crazy guy

Huh? The crazy guy said in confusion.

As He moves along. Meanwhile Frank Jr's voice comes over the intercom.

"Attention officers, there are naked people at the orange smoothie machine. There are naked people at the orange smoothie machine." Frank Jr said threw the intercom.

A crowd of prisoner's runs past the cops, they chase after them.

As Frank Jr walks into the manager's office, dressed in normal clothes and proudly holding his video tape.

"Hello, again!" Frank Jr said as he enter the room.

"What? Oh. It's you. I don't like you." Warden said his response.

"I know you didn't LOVE our audition, but now we have a VIDEO!" Frank Jr said as he takes out a video tape.

"Oh. What?" Warden asked the saiyan baby in question.

"If you would, sir, just watch this and prepare to be WOWED!" Frank Jr said his response while putting the video tape in the VCR.

Then Frank Jr hits play and a video starts.

As it shows The Mc 12 starts, but all we see are the tops of the band members heads, just sneaking in from the bottom of frame. We can hear girls screaming, but when the camera very poorly moves over to them, all we see are their feet. Then the camera moves crappily again, and we are super CLOSE UP on Cleveland Jr's face.

The camera moves away from Cleveland Jr's face (Now it is obvious that Cleveland Jr is just doing really shitty camera work) and then zooms in close on Frank Jr's cucumber package.

"Oh GOD DAMMIT! Our camera guy kind of sucks, but this next shot we did was cool." Frank Jr said as he calm down the warden.

As Now the video shows the band members walking towards girls, but before they get there and the girls can react, the camera again spins around to Cleveland Jr's face, Then Cleveland Jr sets the camera on the tripod and backs up in his chair so that the camera can see his whole body. Then Cleveland Jr starts dancing to the music.

"Son of a bitch!" Frank Jr shouted out loud.

"Hey. This video is dumb." Warden said as he is not impress.

"You don't understand, girls were going CRAZY for us! PLEASE! THIS IS WHAT GOD WANTS ME TO DO! PLEASE!" Frank Jr said as he tries to convince the warden.

"Alright, alright! Geez. What? I guess I could move the sausage and cheese cart of to one side... For a LITTLE while." Warden said as he caves in to Frank Jr response.

"Really you will?!" Frank Jr said in shocked.

"Only for twenty minutes though!" Warden said his deal.

"That's all we'll need! How about this afternoon at THREE o'clock!" Frank Jr said as he agree to these requirement.

"Oh. OKay." Warden said.

"YES! THANK YOU SIR! YOU WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED!" Frank Jr said as he leave to tell his friend.

Now back to the prison at night with the prisoners talking about what the show is about.

"I hear there's a lot of buzz about this band." Inmate 1 said to Inmate 2 about the buzz of the show.

"Yeah, there was a pretty positive review carved in Tony's ass." Inmate 2 said that the show was pretty positive review carved in an inmate's ass name Tony.

Now we see the family enter the prison with Frank Jr, Maddie, Rosie and Stewie dress in white version of their clothes.

"All right, kids, now, everyone stay together." Lois said as she tells her family to stay together.

"It's very important to your father and Grandfather that we're here for his band's first performance." Meg said as she tells her son that they here to support them.

As the show about to start as the warden appear on stage.

"The people who beat you are proud to present, all the way from Quahog... Fat, Horny, Black and Joe!" Warden said as the band come out on stage.

"Hello, Cleveland!" Peter shouted at the audience

"Hello, Peter." Cleveland said hi to peter.

"One, two, three, four!" Quagmire said as he hits his sticks until they realized they didn't learn any songs.

"Oh, my God, we don't know any songs." Peter said out loud which piss off the Inmates.

"You suck! Get off the stage!" Inmates said as they threw garbage at the band.

"What do we do?" Peter asking his friends on what to do.

"I know what I'm doing- I'm getting outta here! Giggidy, giggidy, giggidy, gone! Quagmire said as he, Cleveland and joe ran away.

"Uh... hey, uh, how about a funny story about Lake Wobegon? It was the day of the tuna hot-dish jamboree..." Peter said something stupid until he is struck by a chair.

Oh, no, kids, your father's in trouble. I'm going up there. Lois said as she tell her family to get to the stage.

"I'm coming, too, Mom. Oh, my God. The guy behind me braided my hair." Chris said as he had notice that his hair was braided by a prisoner.

"Me too!" Frank Jr said as his hair looks like Riley Freeman form Boondocks.

Now we join the family on stage reaching the instruments left by peter's friends.

"Chris, grab a guitar to back up with Rage, John back up with Menma and Zeke in keyboards, Tyler play the trumped, Brian, take the drums with Negi. Here, girls, play with this." Lois said as she give everyone and instrument, then she Hands the girls a tambourine.

"I didn't think your mom can do better." Maddie said to Frank Jr her response.

"Me neither" Rosie replied her response.

"Mom, can we please just get out of here?" Meg said as she and Persephone go on stage and the inmates stop and look at their beauty

"Oh, my God! Who is she?" Inmate said out loud

"God, I could strangle her all night long. Boy, that's not healthy, is it that that's the first place I go to?" Other Inmate said as he complains about his response.

While Meg and Persephone are frozen in fear on stage as Lois came to them.

"Hit it!" Lois said as she passes the mic to her girls.

 **Meg**

 _(_ As she with soft accompaniment tone _)_

 _Cloudy skies and rain clouds Have come to stay Windy nights and sad sights won't go away_

 **Family**

 _Sha-la-la-la-la_

 **Persephone**

 _But I want to be without a care Unicorns and butterflies everywhere_

 **Family**

(As they driving rhythm kicks in)

 _Gonna, gonna, gonna, gonna, gonna, gonna Buy me a rainbow Gonna, gonna, gonna, gonna, gonna, gonna Wrap it up in a great big bow_

 **Meg**

 _The time is right, it's day not night Just open up your heart It'll be all right_

 **Family**

 _Gonna, gonna, gonna, gonna, gonna, gonna buy me a rainbow!_

 **Meg**

 _Buy me a rainbow!_

 **Family**

 _Rainbow!_

The inmates cheer and they ask for an encore, so Frank Jr and his crew started the song.

Now back on stage, Frank Jr and the guys are ready to play.

"Here's a little song I wrote. It's about myself and my crew!" said Frank Jr as he began to start playing a guitar riff. He was playing quite decently.

 **Maddie Murdock **

_Yep yep yep yep_

 _word word word word_

 _mmm mmmm mmm_

 _bo bo bo bo bo_

 _Yep yep yep yep_

 _word word word word_

 **Frank Jr** _  
Watch out, watch out  
_ _It's Junior!_

 **Stewie & ****Frank** **Jr** _  
_ _I've got it all and I'm gettin' more  
But I never fall, beat 'em all  
Cause you know I'm so humble  
_ _I'm so humble_ _, I'm so humble  
I'm a superstar, I kick down the door  
Got the money and the girls  
And I'm also so humble  
_ _I'm so humble_ _  
I'm so humble, I'm so humble_

 **Frank Jr** _  
Bar none, I am the most humble-est  
Number one at the top of the humble list  
My apple crumble is by far the most crumble-est  
But I act like it tastes bad outta humbleness  
The thing about me that's so impressive  
Is how infrequently I mention all of my successes  
I poo-poo it when girls say that I should model  
My belly's full from all the pride I swallow  
I'm the most courteous-biddable, hospitable  
Reverential, normal-ary Arnold Schwarzen-orgarary  
I hate compliments, put 'em in the mortuary  
I'm so ordinary that it's truly quite extraordinary_

 **Rosie Kennedy** _  
It's not a competition, but I'm winnin'  
You won't hear me admit it  
Because I'm so timid and submissive  
I treat fat people like they were thin  
Talk simple for the dumbos  
I'm so humble  
_

 **Frank Jr** _  
I'm not your normal definition of a rock star  
I don't complain when my private jet is subpar  
Ya mom's old, but I'll ask if she's your sister  
People say I'm charming, bu-but I beg to differ  
I feel more humble than Dikembe Mutombo  
After a stumble left him covered in a big pot o' gumbo  
I guess in a way, bein' gracious is my weakness  
People say I'm so unpretentious for a genius_

 **Stewie & Frank Jr **

_I've got it all and I'm gettin' more_

 _But I never fall, beat 'em all_

 _Cause you know I'm so humble_

 _I say that with no ego_

 _I'm so humble_

 _It's just good manners_

 _They say I'm a ten, but I'm an eight at best_

 _"Plus two," says you_

 _Not me, cause I'm so humble_

 _Mama raised me right_

 _I'm so humble, I'm so humble_

 **Maddie Murdock**

 _Yep yep yep yep_

 _word word word word_

 _mmm mmmm mmm_

 _bo bo bo bo bo_

 _Yep yep yep yep_

 _word word word word_

 **Frank Jr** **  
** _Watch out, watch out_

As the Man Vocalizing and the show ends with many holograms pointed at Frank Jr and it looks epic.

While the Crowd cheering as the band leave the stage until they meet Jimmy loving.

"You guys were great! My name's Jimmy Iovine, and I'd like to make you filthy rich rock stars." Jimmy Iovine said as He recommended that Meg and the Mallque/Griffins become professional.

"Wow, you're the chairman of Interscope Records. What are you doing in prison?" Brian asking him on why he is hear in prison.

"Eh, I stomped a cat to death. Listen, you guys got talent." Jimmy said as he wants to make a deal with Meg and the Mallque/Griffins.

"Well, where do we sign?" Frank said as he agrees with him.

"Right here on Tony's butt cheek." Jimmy said as they uses Tony's ass as the location of the contracts to which he signs his bands, they using a shard of glass as a writing utensil. This will cause Tony to screams.

"And initial here." Jimmy said as Frank sign in Tony's ass for his initial, then he screams again.

"And here." Jimmy said as Frank sign in Tony's ass, then he screams again.

"And date." Jimmy said as Frank sign in Tony's ass for the date, then he screams again.

"Oh, crap. Today's the 17th." Frank said as Frank sign in Tony's ass to change the date, then Tony screams and collapses.

Cut to recording studio with Meg and the Mallque/Griffins recorded the song.

 _ **Meg and the family**_

 _Gonna, gonna, gonna, gonna, gonna, gonna_

 _Buy me a rainbow!_

 _Buy me a rainbow!_

 _ **Frank Jr**_

 _Rainbow!_

"How was that, Dr. Diddy?" Peter asked him if the take was good as Dr. Diddycome in to congratulate them.

"Yo, that sounded smooth, y'all. I just have a couple..." Dr. Diddy said until Brian barking at him. Frank Jr bitch slap to snap Brian out of it.

"Oh, oh, oh, God. Oh, God. I am so sorry. I keep doing that. Oh, God, please, please forgive me. I get that from my father. He's from a different generation. It's, uh..." Brian said as his apologies to him for his behavior.

"Whatever, man." Dr. Diddy said as he fine with it.

"We, we cool? We good?" Brian said as he does a hand shake

"Yeah, we're cool. Fine." Dr. Diddy said his response.

"Until Brian growling until John and Tyler bitch slap him to behave.

Um, Mr. Doctor, if you get shot in a rap feud, can you perform surgery on yourself? Chris said as he ask him that puff daddy is a doctor.

"Well, no, Chris, my degree is in optometry." Dr. Diddy said his response.

"All right, Dr. Diddy, I got three choices for you for the name of the band. Peter Griffin Starship, Peter Griffin and the Sunday Steppers, or Testicular Sound Express." Peter said as He suggest names for the band until Frank Jr interrupted him.

"Or you can name the band MC 12!" Frank Jr said as he jumps around trying to get everyone pump up for the name.

"I think the name is Meg." Dr. Diddy said as he suggest to use Meg name for the band.

"Me? Why?" Meg asked him on why her name.

"Yeah, why?" Frank Jr ask him while he gets piss off and his eyes glow golden like john and Tyler did in the last three seasons.

"Let me explain something to you, a'ight? We gotta get her half-naked and put her out front, center stage, and that's gonna make y'all billionaires, because America loves hot, white jailbait ass." Dr. Diddy said as he tells them that Meg and Persephone are the sex symbols of the band and they need to exploit as long as it take them to the top which piss off both Franks.

"Wait a minute. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard anyone say about anything." Frank Jr said as he doesn't agree with this since he believe he is the talent t of the show. While he start to glow again in anger from hearing this crap.

"I'm not sure I'm comfortable with My Girls being exploited that way." Lois said as she hugs her girls to protect them until they push her off.

"Shut up, Mom, it's not your decision!" Persephone shouted her response which shocked John and Tyler.

We want to be exploited. Meg said as she agree what Dr. Diddy said. Which shocks Frank, John and Tyler.

"Meg, don't you talk to me like that." Frank said as he and Lois told her off until Peter interrupts them.

"Look, Frank, Lois, I love Mealticket just as much as I love Chris, Persephone, John, Tyler and Stevie, but business is business. So let's get this show on the road, eh?" Peter said as he finally agreed with Dr. Diddy.

"Good. Now, I just need you to sign these..." Dr. Diddy said until Brian barking at him again which cause Frank Jr to bitch slap out of his habit.

"Oh, God. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Oh, my God. That-that is not me. That's not who I am. I vote Democrat. Uh, it will not happen again. W-We cool? We good?" Brian said as he tries to apologies to him for acting up again.

Until Dr. Diddy exits leaving just the Mallque/Griffin Family.

"You, uh, y-you guys know I have no problem with black people, right?" Brian ask the family the option on his uncontrollable reaction with Dr. Diddy.

"Oh, yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah, sure." Peter, Lois, Chris, Meg, Tyler & John said to give Brian some comfort while Frank and Frank Jr look away.

"Well, you did say you hated Crooklyn." Stewie said as the show stops as we show the band gets record deals and shows while Frank Jr narrated the story.

" **Things definitely started to get complicated. I couldn't help it if the world chose me and Stewie instead of mom."** Frank Jr said as the scene changes to pants commercial.

"Take one. You want me to look here? Pretty funny, right?" Photographer said to Stewie as he is doing some silly moves before they got started

As Frank Jr Laughing off-screen.

"Be original. Be fearless. I love my White Butt Jeans. Stewie said his lines.

" **As my star kept burning brighter, some people stood by me. Others couldn't take the heat**." Frank Jr said as Music Playing in one of their concerts, as Frank Jr couldn't take his mother behavior anymore while they were sing a show on los angles.

"Fuck you mom, I know what you're up to. You're not the only one in the band with talent. You need us bitch." Frank Jr said as he runs at her on stage and bit her in the ear, which cause her to scream.

"He is biting my ear." Meg shouted in pain while the rest of the family looks in shocked. While Frank dance toward them.

"You are destroying everything that we have work for." Frank shouted at them for acting like babies.

However, as Frank Jr failing to receive credit for writing the song, by me a rainbow, Frank Jr leaves. The Meg band was disband

" **We broke up the next day. I went solo group with Maddie, Rosie, john and Tyler became my DJs and crew. Grandma quit the music biz altogether and became manager to Mom and aunt Persephone. And our family are still with Mom in the band, like a dickheads. But it turned out all of that was just a blessing in disguise because it turned us into MC 12"** Frank said as he becomes a new group act, taking on the name " MC 12", with Maddie, Rosie and Stewie as his DJs and crew. Meg begins managing Persephone sing career after a failed attempt at going solo.

" **I dropped my first album. And what can I say? It was a smash. And I owed it all to my fans, who I share everything with."** Frank Jr said as his MC 12's debut album, it rockets to the top of the charts and Conner's fame increases.

"My fans and me, we're in love. My songs are love letters, and the arena is our bedroom. The stage...The stage is where we fuck." Frank Jr said as he glass shatters the fourth wall to return back to the story.

Now back to the Meg band with montage as we hear **"Gonna Buy Me a Rainbow"**

 _Gonna, gonna, gonna, gonna, gonna, gonna_

 _Buy me a rainbow!_

 _Gonna, gonna, gonna, gonna, gonna, gonna_

 _Wrap me up in a great big bow_

 _The time is right its day not night, just open up your heart_

 _It'll be all right_

Montage of Meg's albums while music is playing. Her albums include, "It's a Family Thang", "Statutory" and "Meg on your Face". Then the scene fades into the family on a tour bus as we see Brain come to Dr. Diddy.

"Hey, Doc. You, uh, got a minute?" Brian asking him.

"What you want, dawg?" Dr. Diddy said as he question brain on what he wants.

"Uh, yeah, so, uh, hey, check it out. Uh, Stewie and I have, been, uh, working on some, uh, stuff of our own, and, uh, we thought there might be a place for us... Brian said until Dr. Diddy begins to dial on his phone

"...to sing on the next album. Hey, uh, cool. You're busy. No sweat. Boy, Benson was a funny show. I'll talk to you later." Brian said as he finish talking to him and goes to Stewie.

"Well, what did he say?" Stewie asked Brain on what dr. diddy.

"He said he'd think about it. Okay, so, uh, where were we?" Brian said as they were working on something.

"Oh, okay." Stewie said they sing a song that they worked on for a duet on Saturday Night Live.

 **Stewie** : 

_I want to have intercourse with you_

 _Ooh, ooh, yeah, intercourse with you_

 **Brian** :

 _Relations_!

 **Stewie** :

 _Intercourse with you-u-u-u!_

"Right?" Stewie said to Brian.

"Yeah, no, great. That sounds good." Brian said

"All right, all right. Yeah, groovy, groovy. Now, uh, is there a shorter word for intercourse?" Stewie said as he add more notes to the song.

Now we join Meg and Frank at the table of the tour bus.

"Frank, go grab me another bag of Skittles." Meg demanded Frank to get her some

"Excuse me, lady?" Frank said in piss off tone and he has it with her behavior.

"Did I freakin' stutter? I said- more Skittles!" Meg said as she acted like a bitch.

"All right, that is it, Meg. You know, ever since you got that freakin makeover, you've developed a terrible attitude, and all this success with the family band is only making it worse also I think our son was right." Frank said as he has it with her behavior, thinks this makeover made her into a bitch and it worse for the band with Lois agree with him.

"The "family band"? You know, maybe you haven't noticed, Frank, but I am the band. Right, Miss Swan?" Meg said Ms. Swan is a character that Alex Borstein created and portrayed while a cast member on MADtv. As she on the Griffin bus giving Meg Griffin a pedicure while Lois looks on with Frank.

"Oh, yeah, she band. Old lady and Husband jealous." Miss Swan said as she told Frank and Lois off while agree with Meg

"A ha! And also shut up Miss Swan!" Frank said as he knew it would come to this while flip off the table and he also told off miss swan.

"Frank!" Meg said in shocked on the miss he made.

"Oh, what a blind fool I've been! To think, when you said you didn't get pretty just to get away from me, I believed you!" Frank said in anger.

"Oh, Frank, calm down! It's just that when you worried about my problems all the time, you over react. You're like a giant radiator! And when you get even with them, I pray that nobody gets us but you're on top of me!" Meg said

"How long have you found me hideous?" Frank said in panic.

"For God's sakes, this is why I have to lie to you all the time!" Meg said

"Did you ever love me? Who are you?" Frank said

"Fair warning, Frank. If you break this band, he is yours for the night!" Meg said

"This band deal?! Oh you must have laughed at me for swallowing that one! They don't know the meaning of the word "Family bussiness" over there. Your Bitchen like a whore are guaranteed rock-bottom! You're just working yourself up to get your own way." Frank said as he complains to her of her attitude.

"You always do that, Frank." Meg said outload

"What should I do when I know that you looked me in the face…?" Frank said as he starts sing.

 **Frank**

… _.and…_

 _You lied?_

As they are both sing while the family watch them sing in shocked of the argument _._ Then we zoom in on Frank Jr in his tour bus writing the whole song as bonus track.

 **Meg**

 _Don't be hysterical_

 _You always get hysterical_

As we zoom in on Meg while she is dress in a renaissance clothing. She is trying to calm down her husband but she is failing while singing.

 **Frank**

 _It's called having feelings_

 _You should know_

 _You're an expert at faking them_

 _At least mine are real_

 _Now we zoom in on Frank as he is dress in a renaissance clothing and he complain to Meg for ignoring his feelings and those of her family._

 **Meg**

 _Frank, don't make a thing out of this_

 **Frank**

 _What should a man do?_

 _When he knows that he'll never be happy again?_

 _Sing a song_

 **Meg**

 _Just get a grip, frank. Don't overreact_

 **Frank**

 _Overreact? I feed horrible_

 _I feel lousy!_

 _I'm having a stroke—seriously, Meg—_

As frank feel tired as he feel he is getting a stroke while the male members of the family are dress in a renaissance clothing to join in the song.

 **Male Chores**

 _We think it's one, too!_

 _We think it one, too!_

 **Meg**

 _It's a panic attack_

 _Like that time in the laundromat_

 _Breathe into a pillow_

 **Female Chores**

 _Good idea_

Then is it meg turn as she sing her way to a new stage that looks like renaissance era with the female cast with her choices.

 **Male Chores**

 _A pillow_

 _How cruel! How callous!_

 _Poor Frank!_

Then the male cast are starting to feel worse for frank and pity him for being with Meg.

 **Female Chores**

 _This "stroke" is the worst case blackmail_

 _She's ever seen!_

As the female cast thinks that Frank is blackmailing Meg for her behavior and blaming her for Frank Jr leaving. Now we see meg as she sing her high tone.

 **Meg**

 _And…_

 _I've seen plenty!_

 **Male Chores**

 _Call 911_

 **Frank**

 _Tell them a blood vessel just burst in my brain_

 _Just halfway between my neck and my nose_

 _That's only if you care!_

 _If not, feel free_

 _To sit by while I die and watch leno…!_

As Frank sing throughout the stage until he and Meg made it to the top as he won the argument.

 **Both Chores**

 _Blackmail! Stroke!_

 _Blackmail! Stroke!_

 **Female Chores**

 _What a big baby!_

 **Male Chores**

 _What a giant stroke!_

As everyone was singing in high tone as the song finish, while we see John and Tyler change the scene back to the Meg Band Tour bus. Now we join Frank walking toward Peter and Lois as Peter was playing an arcade game.

"Sign, Mom, Pops, we have to do something. You two losing your daughter and I will lose my wife. I'm worried about what's happening to her." Frank said as he asked them on advice while he sighs.

"Frank, Frank, this is the kind of thing that always resolves itself if you just ignore it. All right? W-what's more important is, we're living the sweet life, huh? This is even more fun than when I performed at the White House." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway.

 **Cutaway**

The scene shifts to the White House where George Bush is sitting.

"Mr. President, I present to you, Peter Griffin" a man said as Peter enters.

"A-booga-booga-booga! booga-begga-begga...! Blah-blah-blah-blah" Peter joked as the President laughed. Then Peter blows a raspberry and Bush continues to laugh. Then, the President begins to wave hands around in excitement and in turn he knocks a snowglobe off the desk causing it to break and starts crying.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Cut back to tour bus as Dr. Diddy come toward the family siting area.

"Okay, listen up, everybody, I got great news and Bad News. Meg, Persephone, you and your family are gonna perform on Saturday Night Live, Bad news is your son's band are guest star on the show." Puff Daddy said as Meg looks sad as she now feel bad for not give her son credit for the song.

"You mean I'm going to get to meet John Belushi!" Frank said out loud

"And Gilda Radner and Phil Hartman and Chris Farley and Horatio Sanz? Sweet!" Peter and Tyler said in excitement.

As we see John and Persephone are having an argument.

"Please Persephone, this new look isn't who you are, I mean look what happing to your sister because of this new look." John said his response about Persephone new look hoping that she reconsiders. But he got a scowl from her.

Up your John, for the first time in my life, I feel that I belong to the world and not being the butt of the family. So forget it, this is the new me!" Persephone said as she rush back to her room while John face palm himself in disappointment.

Now back toward the Mc 12 tour bus, they receive the same news from their manager and the band is excited.

"Maybe if we perform in our own skits." Maddie answered as she runs around the bus.

"Or a piss which seems more fitting." Stewie said until Frank Jr bitch slaps him for that comment. As Frank Jr walks into his room he looks at his family photo, his father, mother and Himself smiling together. Which made him shed tear for what he has done.

Now we cut to Saturday Night Live Studio as we both family band at back stage. While Frank Jr and Meg didn't look at each other since their argument.

"Wow, Saturday Night Live. I can't think of anything more exciting!" Chris said as he enjoys being here on the most popular show on TV.

As Chris begins to eye a water fountain in excitement.

"Ooh. Oh, my God! A water fountain!" Chris shouted in excitement.

"What where dude?" Tyler shouted as he pushes John on the floor.

As both Tyler and Chris starts playing with the fountain and laughing together. Then Jimmy Fallon appear next to the twins.

Hey, Girls... (snickers) I'm Jimmy Fallon. It's, uh, it's great to finally meet you two. I'm hosting. Hey, uh... why don't you two come hang out in my dressing room? Jimmy Fallon said

What are you looking at? Meg asked him while looking at the same direction.

"Oh, uh, nothing. Uh, come on, let's go." Jimmy Fallon said as he drag Persephone while Meg stayed behind. John just stared on the floor for not stopping Persephone behavior.

"Peter, I'm worried about Persephone. She's spiraling out of control just like Meg. I mean, what if she develops a coke problem?" Lois said as she is worried about Persephone.

"No Coke. Pepsi. Hahahaha!" Peter said laughing as he made a joke.

As Lois groans by that Joke then she wave her arms in the air. She then leave peter in the dust.

"Oh, come on. You set me up for that one." Peter said as he agrues with her that she set him up for that joke.

Now Cut to Jimmy Fallons dressing room. As Persephone is immediately seduced by Jimmy Fallon and loses her virginity to him. As we see all their clothes on the floor.

"Wow, Jimmy, that was everything Ladies Home Journal said it would be." Persephone said as she layed on the couth all naked with jimmy.

"Awesome. Great. Thanks. Um, you know, there's there's something I... hihihhi! There's something I've gotta tell you. Being with you just made me feel so a... live from New York, its Saturday Night!" Jimmy Fallon said as he announce that the opening sketch, he has sex with Persephone.

While Persephone gasps as she fails to realize that the entire encounter is being aired on live television, despite the fact that Fallon keeps glancing at the camera and laughing.

Now Cut to John, Frank Jr, Meg, Frank, Tyler, Peter & Lois watching Saturday Night Live in their dressing room.

"It's Saturday Night Live." Announcer said as the show started.

"Oh, my God!" John, Frank, Meg and Frank Jr shouted in shocked on what just happed.

"Yeah, that wasn't a very good opening sketch, was it? A rare miss." Peter said his response. While Tyler looks at him in confusion.

"You really iddn.t notice did you?" Tyler asks him about the sketch as Lois interrupt him.

"I don't think that was a sketch, Peter and Tyler." Lois said in shocked as Persephone runs in looking like a mess.

"Mom! Dad! He used me for comedy!" Persephone said while she is sobbing which mad Peter realized something.

"Wait a minute. Are you telling me that my daughter was deflowered in front of one-and-a-half times the Mad TV audience?" Peter said in anger.

"Oh, my poor baby." Lois said as she and Meg went to hug Persephone for comfort.

"My God, Frank, Mom, son, you guys were right. Why the hell didn't I see it coming?" Meg said in shocked while she shed tears which made Frank Jr sad aswell.

"It's All right Meg, just stand aside. It's about time we did our Family duty." John said as he rushes out of the room.

Ha-ha! You said "doodie." But no time to laugh about it now. Peter said as he follows him to the stage.

Now we join jimmy on the Saturday Night Live opening stage.

"Hey, everybody. It's, uh, great to be back. So, we got a great show tonight and, uh..." Jimmy Fallon said his lines until Peter and John come and interrupts him.

"Hey, Fallon. Say good night, ya bum!" Peter said as he and John

As John and Peter starts to beat-up Jimmy Fallon.

And this is for laughing and looking at the camera during every sketch you've ever been in! Who do you think you are? Carol Burnett? You think because she did it, it's okay for you?! You haven't earned what she's earned, buddy! Peter said as he beats up Jimmy Fallon for mostly laughing during skits, not because of what he did to Persephone.

As Peter stop beating up Jimmy Fallon and starts to look around.

All right, now where's the guy who slept with my daughter? Peter said for not realizeding that it him that rape Persephone.

But John, however, lit Jimmy Fallon on fire while he was still down. Which shocked the audience on stage. While Frank Jr rushes on stage to make on announcement.

"Now let's start the show!" Frank Jr said as the show starts. While the security takes John and peter away.

Now we join Frank and Meg on stage as nobody know that this isn't a sketched.

"All right, Frank, I didn't want to have to say this, but you're right okay." Meg said.

"What?" Frank said in shocked.

"There's a reason I wanted this looked. I did want some distance from you, but it's not because I don't love you and I don't want to be close to you." Meg said.

"I don't understand." Frank asked her in what she is talking about.

"There are certain things that have to happen with my body at the end of the day. Certain events that have to transpire. And if they don't transpire, I end up with farts in bed, and I don't want it to happen two inches away from your nose." Meg said which confused both Frank Jr and Frank at the same time.

"That's your secret?" Frank Jr said in shocked.

"I know it's stupid you guys and embarrassing and I want to be sexy for Frank, but after 20 years, I just have to have a break from clamping down and gritting my teeth all night." Meg said as she blushes while Frank blushed for what she said.

"Oh, honey, I don't care about that. And it's not a secret." Frank said as he already knows.

As Meg just look at him in shocked from what he just said.

"The second you fall asleep you let loose like a sailor." Frank said as he reveals the truth.

"What?" Meg said in shocked by that news.

"Oh, yeah, it's like when they put the balloons away after the Thanksgiving parade." Frank said as Meg feels wooze on stage.

"Oh, my God. I can't hear anything. You're tunneling out." Meg said as she falls toward the floor until Frank Jr catches her.

"Honey, honey, relax. Honey, we're married. It doesn't matter how embarrassing something is. Because no one knows it but me." Frank said as Frank Jr asks the Saturday Night Live band to play this song as Frank begins to sing to Meg.

 **Frank**

 _Megan..._

 _Don't be embarrassed_

As Frank and Meg dress like Greeks like togas while Frank Jr composes the band with the family.

 **Frank**

 _I know..._

 _Everything about you_

 _I know when you think you're alone_

 _You have to check if ears have grown_

 _Every day, before you go to work_

As the couple were on giant rock as frank sings to his wife to calm her down.

 **Frank**

 _You know how I panic_

 _When I see a monkey_

As Frank hugs her on her rock while explain his love to her which made her really happy.

 **Frank**

 _I've seen you take pizza_

 _From the garbage and eat it_

While Frank sings a part about pizza, Frank Jr orders from Round table for a big pizza after the show.

 **Frank**

 _I know all of you_

 _You know all of me_

 _But it's only us my love_

As Frank sings toward the heavens about his love for Meg. Meanwhile backstage both John and Persephone look at each other with longing as they hear the song, then they rushes towards each other to hug as they asked for forgiveness.

 _ **Frank**_

 _No one else_

 _No one else_

 _No one else_

As Frank looks at Meg in her eyes while vice versa as they forgive each other while the family cries in tears for how beautiful this song is. While Frank Jr prepare to sing the last part.

 **Frank Jr sing high soprano**

 _No one..._

 _Else..._

As the audience's cheers for the band, both Frank and Meg are so relieved that they kiss and make up. While both of them giving Frank Jr the final act for his Musical number.

Back to the Mallque Griffin household, the Family still in shock at what John did. Persephone tries to talk to John. But he said he need a break for a while until they get back together, So she leave him alone in his room. While we see Peter, Lois, Frank and Frank Jr were on the couch as Meg has a new look, she has long brown hair, she wears a rosie pink sweater with a white blouse, she has blue pants that look like her mom's, Persephone has The shirt and skirt colors reversed, and a sleeveless leather vest.

"I'm so glad to be an all New real me." Meg said as Frank Jr nods in agreement

"It's too much work being beautiful." Persephone said as she is tired to be pretty all the time.

"Not for me, but it's good to have you two back, Pumpkin." Lois said as she chuckles for what Persephone said.

"Well, I guess there's only one thing left to do." Peter said to his family on what they are going to do.

As Camera pans out to reveal Saturday Night Live stage with people who were in the episode as well as those who did not appear all, all of them standing on the Saturday Night Live Stage.

"Uh, listen, thanks, everybody. I had a great time tonight. Uh, I wanna thank Jimmy Fallon for being such a good sport." Frank Jr said to the audiences

"Uh, Peter, Lois, Meg, Frank Jr, John, Tyler, Stewie, Brian, Chris. Uh, the guys from the prison, uh, Counting Crows..." Frank said as people from today episode gather around.

"Uh, uh, if I'm forgetting anybody, I'm sorry. Good night, everybody! Our thoughts are with you, Chevy!" Peter said as he raise his hand in the air.

As Credits begin to role in Saturday Night Live style, but quickly cuts to the Apollo theatre

From the world-famous Apollo Theatre in Harlem. It's Showtime at the Apol... Announcer:

Cut to Brian on the couch turning off the TV

What? I'm tired. It has nothing to do with the fact that it's a black show. What, I can't be tired at 1:00 in the morning? Brian said as he makes excuses until Frank Jr jumps him.

Then Frank Jr and runs towards the screen, as he changes the scene to Seven boys, with the same, slightly ticked off expression on their face, walked up to a huge door with a huge gold star plate that said Frank Jr on it. It was Frank who knocked on the door. After a few moments, a big burly looking guy poked his head out. "Yes?" He simply said.

"Where the hell is Frank Jr?!" Frank Yelled.

The Guard looked over the group of 7 boys before saying "Yo Frank Jr, you have some, uh, fan boys out here. Do you swing that way?"

"Fanboys?! We're the rest of the friggin' group!" Brian yelled.

"Ok, Ok" the guard Said. He then spoke up again, to communicate with Frank Jr "Never mind boss it's only your band"

"Band? We're not his ba-" Stewie Started, but was cut off by Frank Jr himself.

"Either way, tell them to come back later, I'm busy!" Frank Jr said from the door.

"You heard him" the guard Said "Go... do... what ever you band members do" And with that, the guard shut the door.

Tick marks began to appear all over the group.

Frank Jr, the "Star" of the group was indeed busy… busy getting massaged. He had to be loose for their next show. After all, he was the lead singer. He started to hear yelling from the other side of his door. It was the loudest 2 of his band: Stewie and Brian. Frank Jr Sighed and looked at his guard that was standing in front of his door. Frank Jr started to speak.

(The real beginning of the song… kinda… I dunno just watch the video before you read this!)

Frank Jr, speaking (.Groans. here we go…)

 _I dunno dude..._

 _Everyone's all jealous and shit, cuz I'm like,_

 _The lead singer of the band dude._

 _And I thing everyone got a frigging problem with me dude,_

 _And I think they need to take it up with me after the show, because-_

Later, on stage, the 7 other boys standing in the background, doing pretty much nothing while Frank Jr sings.

 **Frank Jr singing**

 _These chicks don't even know the name of my band,_

 _But they all on me like they wanna hold hands_

 _Cuz once I blow, they know that I'll be the man_

 _All because I'm the lead singer of my band_

 **Frank Jr rapping**

 _So I get on stage right? Drop the mike,_

 _Walk up to these strange chicks and I'm all like,_

 _Sup ladies, I'm slim shady_

 _I'm the lead singer of MC12 baby_

 _There all like-_

Maddie, talking-shouting (Ahhh shut it…)

 _OMG It's him!_

 _Rosie, oh my friggin god it's really him!_

Rosie talking-yelling\ (You shut it too. Be lucky I didn't use the actual line of the song…)

 _I swear to friggin god, dude,_

 _You friggin rock!_

 _Please lemme please lemme have your sock!_

(This seems like a strange line, but its better in comparison to the actually song.)

 **Frank Jr rapping**

 _And by now, the rest of the fellas get jealous_

 _Especially when I drop the beats and do my accapellas_

 _All the chicks start yellin, all the hot babes_

 _Throw all their stuff on stage_

 _So every single night they pick a fight with me_

 _But when we fight its kinda like sibling rivalry_

 _Cuz they're back on stage the next night with me_

 _Yesterday Grandpa Peter tried to pull a kunai on me-_

He catches one that was just thrown by per said boy. This causes Peter to gain another tick mark.

 **Frank Jr continued**

 _Cause I to told Cleveland, Korra was my wife to be-_

Korra said _"Oo..."_ asshe then screams and faints.

 **Frank Jr, continued**

 _This rock star shit it's the life for me_

 _And all the other guys just despise me because_

 **Frank Jr** **singing** **(It may not seem like it, but the 7 other boys do get a part XD)**

 _These chicks don't even know the name of my band!_

 _But they're all on me like they wanna hold hands!_

 _Cuz once I blow they know that I'll be the man!_

The seven boys began to argue about Frank Jr, and who should go take the mike from him.

 **Frank Jr, continued**

 _All because I'm the lead singer of my band._

 _My band!_

 _My band!_

 _My band!_

 _My band!_

 _My band!_

 _My band!_

 _My band!_

Suddenly, the boys gang up on Joe, pushing him toward Frank Jr. After giving them all a glare clearly seen though his glasses, he slowly, but surly makes his way up to the "lead singer of the band".

 **Frank Jr continued**

 _My band!_

 _My baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand!_

Quagmire makes a grab for the mike, but Frank Jr holds fast. After a small struggle, Quagmire frees the mike from Frank Jr's grip, but falls off the stage, into the crowd. He makes a quick recovery, sits on the stage and puts the mike up to his mouth.

 **Quagmire** **rapping (Phew, It seems like it would be Frank Jr the whole way though huh?)**

 _You just wanna see me rap backwards don't you?_

 _Hey dad how come we don't rap on protools?_

 _Smash these vocals and do a performance,_

 _But we in a van, and he in a tour bus_

 _You don't want my autograph, yous a liar_

 _And no I'm Joe-_

 **Random person**

 _-oh I thought you were Kuniva_

(Kuniva is a person of D12, and I didn't know how to redo this line and still have it rhyming so I left it)

It is shown that the the boys are in a room with barely enough room for all of them.

 **Quagmire** **continued**

 _And what the hell is wrong with out dressing room_

 _Cuz that Shit is looking smaller than a decimal_

 _See I know how to rap,_

 _Its simple but,_

 _All I did was read a Russell Simmons book_

 _So I'm more intact_

 _Tryin' to get on the map_

 _Doing jumping jack while getting whipped on my back_

In the same "dressing room" Both Cleveland and Joe sit next to each other, complaining about Frank Jr.

 **Joe Talking-Rapping**

(Such an odd pair, I know, but they seemed right for the parts wouldn't you say?)

 _Look at him, little punk ass thinkin' he the shit_

 **Cleveland Talking-Rapping**

 _Yea I know man, find himself taking on a flick_

 **Joe**

 _Yo, I thought we had an interview with DJ clue?_

Frank Jr pokes his head in the curtain, with takes the place of a real door.

 **Frank Jr**

 _No, I had an interview, not you two._

As quickly as he poked his head in, Frank Jr was gone.

 **Cleveland**

 _We gonna be late for sound check_

 **Joe**

 _I ain't goin' to sound check!_

 **Cleveland**

 _But our mikes are screwed up_

 _And his always sound best…_

 **Joe**

 _You know what man? I'm gonna say something._

 **Cleveland**

 _Frank Jr!_

Frank Jr appears out of nowhere, poking his head in the room again.

 **Frank** **Jr**

 _ **You got something to say?!**_

Joe quickly says.

 **Joe**

 _Man no._

Frank Jr looks slightly aggravated, but leaves. Cleveland also looks slightly aggravated at the Swanson.

 **Cleveland**

 _I thought you were about to tell him off man what's up?_

 **Joe**

 _I'm gonna tell him when I feel like it man shut up!_

 _You didn't even back me up, we supposed to be cool!_

Cleveland yawns.

 **Cleveland**

 _I was 'bout to talk right after you._

Joe gives a combination of a skeptical glare if that's possible, but I'm sure Joe could make it work! XD.

 **Frank Jr** **singing**

 _These chicks don't even know the name of my band!_

 _But they're all on me like they wanna hold hands!_

 _Cuz once I blow they know that I'll be the man!_

 _All because I'm the lead singer of my band._

 **Brian**

(Uh… woof XD)

 _They say the lead singers rock while the group does not_

 _Once we sold out arenas to the amusement park_

 _I'm gonna let the world know that this dog is hot_

 _I should cut his mike off when the music starts!_

 _Ready to snap on a dumbass fan_

 _Every time I hear-_

Lois Talking-yelling (XD I can totally see him doing this too)

 _Hey dude I love your band!_

Brian's suddenly turns to Lois, Little white circles taking the place of his eyes.

 **Brian Rapping**

 _We ain't a band bitch, we don't play Instruments_

"Oo'' Lois said in dissapoinment.

 **Brian Continued**

 _So why he get 90 and we only get 10 percent?_

 _And these guys they can find every area code-_

 **Frank Jr speaking**

 _Hey carry my bag_

Brian's eyes are still those little white circles.

 **Brian, rapping**

 _Bitch, carry your own!_

 _Can't make it to the stage_

 _Security in my way_

Security, speaking

 _Who are you eh?_

(If you seen the video (which is recommended before reading this) this next part is for the… "Big boned person" XD which is why Peter got the part right away!)

Peter, rapping

(Peter tiiiiiime!)

 _God, I'm sick of this group_

 _Time for me to go solo and make some loot_

 _Told ya I made the beats and wrote all the raps_

 _Till I just got too fat_

 _Lose Yourself video? (Not mine)_

 _I was in the back_

 _Superman video? (Not mine)_

 _I was in the back_

 _Yo media, I got some suggestions_

 _Screw Sasuke, ask us the questions_

 _Like:_

 _Who's MC12? How'd we get started?_

 **Lois**

 _What about Frank Jr?_

 **Peter rapping**

(I love this part XD)

 _Bitch, are you retarded?_

 _Anyways I'm the populest guy in the group_

(Sorry, it says populest in the song XD)

 _Big stomach, girls think I'm cute_

 **Meg speaking**

 _Dude, wtf?!_

(In the song someone says "hey sexy", but I don't think anyone likes Peter that much, so I put Meg instead… sorry Peter! –Huggles-)

 **Peter, rapping**

 _Dad told me to do sit-ups to get tough._

 _Did 2 ½ and couldn't get up (XD sounds like me and pushups)_

 _Screw Mc 12, I'm outta this band_

 _I'm gonna start a group and get some real fans!_

They are back on stage, "performing".

 **Frank Jr singing**

(Sighs, this is getting ooooooold!)

 _Girl why can't you see you're the only one for me_

 _And it just tears my ass apart to know that you don't know my naaaaaaaaaaame-_

John, who had finally had enough of Frank Jr, comes out of nowhere, and punches the Frank Jr. Frank Jr falls, knocked out, and hundreds of girls scream in horror, John grabs the mike.

 **John singing**

 _These chicks don't even know the name of my band_

 _Ha ha_

 _But they all on me like they wanna hold hands_

 _Screw Frank Jr_

The girls began to get mad, while John and anti- Frank Jr fans rejoice. Persephone cheers the loudest, but quickly shuts up and is heavily blushing.

 **John continued**

 _Cuz once I blow they know that I'll be the man!_

 _All because I'm the lead singer of my band!_

 _My band_

 _My band_

 _My band_

the other boys starts to get a bit pissed off, because John is starting to get a little cocky with the mike, and is now acting like Frank Jr, thinking he is the lead singer of the band. The other guys start to chase John around the stage for the mike, and Stewie takes out a small bottle of god knows what and starts to drink it.

 **John continued**

 _My band_

 _My band_

 _My band_

 _My band_

 _My band_

 _My baaaaaaaaaaaand!_

Stewie calmly takes a seat on the floor, in the middle of the stage, while the boys chase John off stage. With an anguished cry, and the sound of someone being tackled, the mike flies back onstage, and Stewie catches it. He looks at the mike, then grins. He gets up and starts to do a strange little dance.

 **Stewie singing?**

(I love this part XDDD)

 _I'm the lead singer of the band, I get all the girls to take off their under pants_

Most of the girls, even the Stewie ones who are cheering him on, makes the wtf look. Frank Jr is still knocked out on stage. With a hiccup, Stewie continues.

 **Stewie, continues**

 _And as the lead singer of my band my salsa makes all the pretty girls want to dance_

 _My salsa, look out for my next single it's called my salsa!_

 _My salsa, salsa, salsa, salsa,_

 _My salsa makes all the pretty girls dance_

 _And they want to take off their underpants_

Brian comes back on stage, looking for his friend. Seeing he was drunk, Brian starts to drag Stewie off stage.

 **Stewie, continued**

 _My salsa makes all the pretty girls dance_

 _And they want to take of their under pants my salsa!_

Brian sighs and sweats drops, pulling Stewie off stage. Hours later, when everyone has gone home, Frank Jr, sits up, and he looks around confused.

 **Frank Jr talking**

 _Where'd everybody go?_

 **Chapter ended**

 **I hope everyone enjoyed! This is thanking for pen123 and Family Guy Fan writer 15, Thank you all for cutaways, scenes, favoring, having me on alerts and with that. In addition, welcome to season 4 of Family Guy MC, Emily Griffin. Its awesome right. Also see you next chapter.**


	6. Chapter 55:The Clevettamire

**Chapter 55: The Cleveland-Loretta Quagmire**

 **Narrator**  
 _Fresh out the net box  
Stop, look, and watch  
Ready yet, get set  
It's Family Guy!_

We see paparazzi taking photos of the cast as they come out of the limo and they walk on the red carpet.

 **Chorus:** **  
** _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

First it show Frank waling out of the limo with a poster with the words "oh" and he poses for the camera.

Then its shows Meg comes in looking all sexy as she signs autographs while she winks at the fans.

Then it turn to Lois comes in hopping while grabbing rose as she gives a kiss toward the fans.

 _ **Chorus:**_ _Check it, check it, check it  
Now this is just an introduction  
Before I blow your mind  
The show is All of That and yes we do it all the time_

Then it shows Frank Jr poses as he pull his hat down his chest as he throws a rose to the Fans.

Then next person to show up on the carpet is Stewie. As he flips his hat back to his head while he give autographs to fans.

Then Brian comes in sliding on the red carpet as he waves at the fan as he walks in.

 **Chorus:** _So sit your booty on the floor or in a chair  
Ground or in the air  
Just don't go nowhere_

Then Emily comes in give autographs as she smiles at the fans as she tells one of her fans to call her.

Then the scene shows Persephone puts a rose on her mouth with a sexy angry look on her face.

 **Chorus:** _Cause everything we do  
It's all of that!  
When entertaining you  
We all of that!_

Then Chris shimming down the carp as he gives the fan a shout out.

Then Peter slide towards the carpet as he flips his hat back on his head.

 **Chorus:** _My posse and my crew  
It's all of that!  
So sit still cause we're coming right back_

Then the scene shows John throws a rose at his fans.

As the scene, changes to Tyler puts on rose his mouth as he gives everyone thumbs up.

 **Chorus:** _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

Then scene change to the Family Guy MC Cast walks down the stairs as they take a group photo while looking gangsters of the 80. All this while music ends as the scene fades to black.

Now we at 15 years ago and it was nighttime in the town of Quahog, Rhode Island. At a rave bar, Margaret Chevapravatdumrong and her sister Joyce (Joyce Kinney) were dancing to nice raving music while drinking some beers.

"Hey Maggie", said Joyce, "I just thought of something. I bet that if we turn around, we'll find some partners to dance with and we might bang with them at the restrooms."

"Alright Joycey, you on!" Margaret replied.

"Ok, on three" Said Joyce as they both count together at the same time. "One, two, three!"

Then, they both turned around. Joyce turned around to find Bruce behind and he noticed her.

"Oh hey there." Bruce said, "How you doin' there?"

"Want to dance with me and make out?" Joyce asked Bruce.

"What? Oh no! Sorry darling, but I'm already hooked with Jeffery." Bruce said his answer.

"Shut up and dance with me!" Jeffrey called out off-screen.

Meanwhile, with Margaret, she turned around to find four drunk guys, on the table. One was skinny with a huge chin, one was a slightly chubby African-American, one who wear glass who is skinny but buff and has spiky black hair and one was fat wearing glasses. They were drinking glasses of beer.

"Excuse me, would any of you three want to dance and make out with me?" Margaret asked the four men

The Four man looked at her.

"Called it!" Peter cried.

"Called it!" Quagmire said before realizing that he's too late.

"God dammit!" Quagmire said.

"Then this means I'm the winner." Peter said as He went to dance with Margaret.

"Didn't he just marry Lois 3 years ago?" Cleveland asked his friend Jake.

"I don't think she'll notice, we only came here to drink anyway." Jake replied as Cleveland and Joe nod in agreement.

As we see Peter starts talk dirty to Margaret in a bar.

"Hey baby, you feel fine and hot tonight!" Peter said somethings that made Margaret wet.

This was her bachelorette party and she thinks that Peter is the stripper.

This cause Margaret to drag Peter into her hotel room and they got down and dirty.

"Oh, my God!" Margaret said and smiled. "Take me! Make me feel dirty!"

Peter easily obliged as he hopped right down on Margaret and both started kissing as Peter started to feel her breasts. It was truly, to him, the best thing he could ask for...

As the two of them began kissing, Peter started to remove the purple slip from Margaret's body as she pulled Peter' pants down as his little area came out to poke her. Margaret giggled as they parted from the kiss so that Peter could take off his shirt. Once every piece of clothing was off, the two began to kiss again as they started rolling around in the bed.

"Oh man... put it in me... make me dirty on the inside!" Margaret said all horny.

"Yes!" Peter nodded as he stuffed his little man into Margaret's hole. The two were grunting and groaning in pleasure as they started to speed up, faster and faster until they both came at the same time, Peter spewing his seed into Margaret's womb.

Margaret and Peter panted as Margaret giggled.

"Mr. Man, how did I ever come across someone as awesome as you?" Margaret smiled.

"You're lucky Mrs..." Peter said as he smiled as the two of them kissed again.

"Margaret Chevapravatdumrong..." Margaret said her name as the two of them drifted to sleep.

And thus, the newly anointed wife of Mr. Chevapravatdumrong started to sleep, a little life starting to form inside of her body...

As Young Margaret went back into her house, she decided to let it go since they were only drunk and she never meant to mate with the wrong person, but nine months later, Young Margaret gave birth to her first child, a daughter who goes by the name, Emily Violet Jane Chevapravatdumrong.

Now back to The Present day as we join Peter invites all his friends on board his fishing boat for a party at sea.

Peter, thanks a lot for having us out on your boat. Joe said as he thanks him for let the group on his boat.

"No problem." Peter said as Lois comes by to talk to him.

"Peter, are you sure Santos and PasquaI don't mind coming in on a Saturday to serve us drinks?" Lois ask him about Santos and PasquaI working and serving them drinks.

"Are you kidding, Lois? They're Portuguese. Work is their cocaine." Peter said that Santos and PasquaI love to work. As Frank appears and he continued the conversation

"Besides mom, look at them in their tuxedos. They look like little people." Frank said as he thinks they look funny.

" _ **Did you pee in the punch?"**_ Santos asked Pasquel if he peed in the punch bowl.

" _ **Yes, but unfortunately I already had peed, so I only had a little pee."**_ PasquaI said his answer.

Now we join John with Persephone as he is very drunk.

"Hey, Persephone. What's going on? What's going on? You having a good time? Yeah, no, I'm having a good time. Hey, what's going on? Listen, I know that you're 17 now, right? I was just throwing it out there. I was thinking, you know, if you ever want to I don't know, screw around or something." John said as Persephone was very need since their break up. She need to take this but she feel guilty later on.

"Hey, Joe. So, you know, it's just something to mull around in the old noggin." John said hi to Joe and he leaves her to her options.

"Man, I'm so glad we went to Chris wedding to Lana, so to anyone in the audience here's our flashback to that day." Frank said as he sets up a cutaway.

 **Flashback starts now**

 **Narrator: [voice over]** _**we are often told that happily ever after's exists only in the pages of fairy tales and in the naive minds of sheltered innocents. And yet, on this bright sunny Vegas afternoon, a fat teenage boy is about to marry his hot and big breasted Teacher. Proving two things: Happy endings can come true for anyone and the Author, Frank Mallque doesn't give a shit about anything.**_

As we see Chris and Lana in a church getting married, we see John and Tyler with Frank, Meg and their son Frank Jr sitting on front to see the action.

"Do you Lana Lockhart take this Boy to be your lawfully wedded husband?" the father asked Lana.

"I do!" Lana Lockhart said with glee as the father turn to Chris.

"And do you, Chris, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?" the father asked Chris.

"Fucking right I do!" Chris said in excitement.

"Then by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your student." The father said his announcement as Frank Jr cheered for the couple

As Chris and Lana Lockhart kiss and the guests in the church clap and cheer

Now we join ourselves at their wedding reception, as Chris and Lana enter the room.

"Chris, this is the best day of my life! I just love you so much!" Lana Lockhart said as she cries tears of joy.

"I love you, too, baby! I'm gonna go fifty shades of bear on you tonight!" Chris said as he has plan for them when the party ends with them getting their freak on.

"Let's go get shit faced!" Lana Lockhart asked him to get drunk with her.

"Okay!" Chris said to this response as they turn to the bar to get drinks.

As Lana Lockhart gets them some beers from the bar

"Thank you." Lana Lockhart said as she leaves the bar with Chris.

As she hands a bottle to Chris, at the same time Frank walks up to them hand in hand with his Wife Meg.

"Hey, congratulations, you mo-fo's." Frank said his response.

"Oh, hey, Guy." Chris said hello to his brother in law.

"Beautiful ceremony." Frank said as he love the ceremony.

"Oh, thank you so much for being part of it." Lana Lockhart said as she shakes his hand.

"Hey Lana, this is my wife Meg." Frank said as he introduces Lana to his wife Meg Griffin- Mallque

"Hey you doing?" Meg said as she shakes hands with Lana, as well welcoming her to their family.

"Good, good." Lana Lockhart said.

"She is a gourmet chef. So she knows how to toss a salad." Frank said as he talks dirty about Meg which makes her all wet down there.

As Frank and Meg both chuckle about themselves.

"Meg and I are actually about to tie the knot way better." Frank said.

"Oh, you guys already married?" Lana Lockhart asked them.

"No, we're just gonna go home and tie our privates together." Frank said as he talk more about the sex they are going to have.

"Huh! Fuck you." Meg said in a teasing tone and hit Frank in the arm.

"Fuck you." Frank said as he hits Meg back in her arm.

"Deal." Meg said in agreement.

They high five each other and hold onto each other arms

As Chris notices John sitting on his own looking sad so Chris walks over to him

"Hey, buddy. Are you okay there? You look a little down. Are you still shaking off that hangover from the bachelor party?" Chris asked John if he is okay.

 **Flashback starts**

As we have a flashback to Chris's bachelor party where Chris, John and some other guys are watching something on TV.

"She's fucking begging for it!" John said as he is watching the girl on the TV.

"She's totally. Yeah, get it! Get in there!" Chris said as he agrees with John.

"Look at her! She wants it bad!" Tyler said in agreement.

As we see they are watching a nature program where two bears are copulating

"Yeah, she wants more than just a fucking pizza delivery, huh?" John said as he tell the, that the female bear wants more dirty stuff than pizza guy.

"That's bigger than the average bear, right there, I'll tell you that." Chris said about the male bear's member.

"Hey, you know what's fucked up? That's somebody's fucking daughter!" John said as he reveals that the female bear was some other bears daughter.

"You know what, John? It's entirely possible it's his daughter." Chris said as he can now tell that the female bear was younger than she appears.

Oh, Jesus, come on! Tyler said in shocked of the news that he has heard.

 **Flashback ends.**

Now back to the wedding reception with Chris and John looking sad

"No, I'm fine. I was…I was just thinking about Persephone." John said as he is still not over Persephone after what she did last chapter.

"Oh, J-man. Come on. Man, it's been six months since you guys took a break on dating." Chris said as he tells him to cheer up already.

"I know! I know! It's just that…I don't know, being back in that church again? You know, everything seemed like it was gonna be so perfect." John said as he explain that their relationship was perfect until that horrible day.

"Yeah, well, you're not the first guy to see the girl get rape on TV." Chris said as he tells him that he not the first to see their girlfriend get rape on TV.

Then Herbert comes near the table all high.

"Hey! Big day, huh, bud? You guys want to celebrate with a little…?" Herbert asked Chris if he wants to get high with him and maybe have sex with him.

As he wipes his nose indicating drugs

"Oh, no. Thanks, Mr. Herbert. Lana's kill me if I did drugs on our wedding day." Chris said as he is take the responsible route and not get high with Herbert.

"Ah, she won't notice. I just did a line with a dude in the men's room and I bet you can't even spot him." Herbert said as he begging him to join.

As Chris looks up and we see a man vigorously jumping rope in the middle of the guests, he then punches a guest and jumps out the window

"Yeah, I'm gonna pass." Chris said no as Herbert leaves in disappointment.

As we see all the people are dancing at their wedding reception

"This is the best day of my life!" Chris said as he does his own musical number.

 **Flashback ends**

Now back to the ship with Stewie playing golf with the other babies.

"Damn. What is it about golf that always brings out the worst in me?" Stewie said as he sets up a cutaway about himself.

 **Cutaway**

We see Stewie with female golfer Annika Sorenstam.

"So, Annika Sorenstam, you're quite the female golfer, aren't you? Yes, quite the female golfer. I knew it! Look! Everybody, look! Look! She's a fraud!" Stewie shouted as he went up "her" skirt.

Frank Jr just look shocked from what he saw.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join Quagmire as he is fishing, then he felt something pulling from hi fishing rod.

"Alright, I caught a fish." Quagmire said in excitement as he pulls the fish out of the water.

But the fish goes into Loretta's blouse in between her boobs, and Quagmire rush toward her.

"Oh, Sorry about that, Loretta. Hey uh, can I have my fish back?" Quagmire asked Loretta for his fish back from her boobs.

"Awww, you're gonna have to reach in the cookie jar." Loretta said as she invites him to reach in and grab it.

"Oh, uh, I can't just... You're my best friend's wife, reach in there, alright!" Quagmire said all nerves when she said that but he cave in the last moment.

As Quagmire then put his hand into Loretta's blouse to get his Fish which is in between her boobs.

"Yeah, you go in and get that. Show that fishy who's boss." Loretta said While Quagmire's hand is between her breasts, Cleveland approaches.

"Loretta, they have some of that three-bean salad you're so fond of. Hey Quagmire." Cleveland said as he mentions the snacks Peter has supplied, serenely saying hello to Glenn before walking away.

After that, the fish is finally extracted.

"Well. We'll uh, have to do this again sometime." Quagmire said as he say his goodbye to Loretta.

"You name the time and the place, little neck." Loretta said as she propositions while she snickers.

"Huh?" Quagmire said to his amazed confusion.

We now join everyone on the port of the ship as they play a game of charades.

"I've always loved charades. Your turn, Joe." Lois said as Joe enter the floor to start the game.

"The category is Famous People. Okay, guess who I am." Joe said as while attempting to portray "Natalie Wood."

"Ironside!" Peter and John said their response but got it wrong.

"Larry Flynt!" Lois and Tyler said their response but they too got it wrong.

"Stephen Hawking!" Meg and Persephone both said their response but they were not even close.

"Dr. Strangelove!" Chris and Negi both said their response. But wrong.

"Roy Campanella!" Cleveland and Menma both said their response, they didn't get it right.

"Richard Petty!" Bonnie and Zeke said both said their response, but it wrong.

"Lance Armstrong!" Frank said his response but he wasn't even right then Frank Jr said a lot of answers.

"NeiI Armstrong! Stretch Armstrong! Stretch Cunningham! Howard Cunningham! Potsie Weber! Natalle Wood." Frank Jr said his responses hoping to get the right answer, as during a game of charades, Joe falls overboard and nearly drowns while attempting to portray "Natalie Wood."

"Definitely Natalle Wood." Peter said as Frank Jr nod in agreement.

"Somebody save him, he can't swim!" Bonnie shouted for help

\- He's not even kicking. Kick, Joe, kick! Peter shouted while John and Tyler face palm.

\- Pops, he's a paraplegic. Frank said his response.

"That doesn't mean he can't hear. Kick, Joe, kick!" Peter said as he shouts to Joe to kick without realizing that Joe is handicap.

"Somebody help him!" Lois shouted for help and she got her answer.

As Joe's life is saved by Peter's two Portuguese employees, who rescue Joe in a fishing net, pull him aboard, and perform CPR. Because no one in the family knew what to do in an emergency

"Gay!" Peter said as he thinks mouth to mouth is gay. Until Frank Jr smacks him on the head.

"You were right, Frank Jr. It was Natalle Wood." Joe said that Frank Jr was right as Frank Jr fist pumps for getting it right.

Now we join Peter and the family at the Quahog Community Center at night. As Lois insists that they take CPR classes.

"Lois, why the hell do we have to take a stupid CPR class?" Peter whine to his wife for being here.

"Because, Peter, none of us knew what to do when Joe was drowning. Now, be quiet and pay attention." Lois said as she explains no one in the family knew what to do in an emergency, so they need to prepare for anything.

As Bruce appears, he teaches a CPR course at the Quahog Community Center.

"Hi, there. I'd like to welcome you all to CPR. I see a lot of smiles here in this room. There's one. There's another. That's good. I see that soda up under your chair. That's all right. Soda's all right on my watch. We also got Oreos here and fresh coffee. Everybody likes a snack. Now, who wants to go first? No takers? Well, fine. I'll go first." Bruce said his response.

"Peter, why don't you volunteer?" Lois asked him to volunteer to do it.

"No, I don't volunteer for anything since I helped those guys repaint the Sistine ChapeI." Peter said his response and sets up a cutaway about his time in the Sistine ChapeI.

 **Cutaway**

We see a bunch of priests entering as they saw Peter painting an image of...Andre the Giant.

They gasp from shocked from what they saw.

"Listen, I thought the stuff that was there was kind of lame. So I put this up. I figured Andre the Giant would be a little hipper" Peter explained.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Back to class as Peter gives mouth to mouth to a practice dummy.

And that's pretty much all there is to it. Bruce said as he finish his lesson while both John and Tyler were gross out by the dummys they were working on.

"It's hard, jagged, and tastes like alcohoI." Peter said as his still taste the dummy in his mouth with discuss.

"Just like kissing Faye Dunaway." Frank said a joke while Frank Jr split his milk threw his mouth.

"Hahaahaha!" Both the griffin couple laugh from it.

"Easy now." Peter and Frank said together to calm them down.

Now we join stewie in the corner as he was doing relations with the baby dummy that he was assign to.

"I can't believe we just did that. But, you know, that stuff about spending the day together tomorrow I forgot. Actually, I have a thing. But, you know, you have my e-mall address. So drop me a line. And then I'll have yours. And we'll take it from there. So Bellybutton. Well, I'll see you later." Stewie said as he break up with the dummy while the dummy said nothing.

"So, it's officiaI. Y'all are card-carrying lifesavers." Bruce said as he pass the classes lifesaver card ids starting from meg to Frank and Finally Peter.

"Holy crap, a card with my name on it! I am now Peter Griffin, certified CPR. Come on, Lois! I've got lives to save." Peter said as he rush out of the Quahog Community Center with Lois following him.

"Thanks. Be safe. Nobody had any of the coffee. Only a couple of Oreos gone. I'm gonna take the rest home to the cats." Bruce said as his monologue by himself.

Now we join a car crash with two men talking it out.

"Sorry, I was diallng the phone." Guy 1 said as his apologies to Guy 2

"Are you all right? Don't worry about it." Guy 2 said as he asked that guy 1 is okay.

"Doesn't look like there's any." Guy 1 said as he examines his car damage until Peter rushes in to help.

"Peter Griffin, certified CPR. Don't anyone panic!" Peter said as he jumps Guy 1 to help him.

"What the hell are you doing?" Guy 1 said in panic.

"You know, I don't think he's hurt." Guy 2 said as he tries to help Guy 1 as John and Tyler came by to the horror.

"I'll get to you in a moment, sir." John said as he takes out peter from guy 1.

"John what are you doing, I have to check and see if he soiled himself." Peter said as he tries to get free from john's grip.

"Sir? Sir?" Tyler said as he tries to pick up guy 1 as he rushes to peter.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Guy 1 shouted at peter as he was restrain by john to not do anything stupid.

"I've got to check if you've soiled yourself." Peter said as he tries to explain what he was doing then he continued again.

"Get off of him Mr. Griffin." John said as he jumps peter to stop him.

"Are you crazy?" Tyler said as he jumps in too to help John stop Peter.

"Sir? I'm gonna need you to stop struggling, all right?" Peter said as he tries to take Guy 1 pants off why he is dodge John and Tyler.

"Leave him alone." Guy 2 said in panic.

"I hurt my elbow!" Guy1 said as Peter hurt Guy 1's elbow.

"I've got to get these trousers off." Peter said as he is still trying to take Guy 1's pants.

"Somebody call the cops!" Guy 1 said as he shouts at everyone to call the cops.

"I gotta see if you soiled yourself." Peter said as he is still trying to take Guy 1's pants.

"Nobody asked you to get involved! Get off him, you jackass!" Guy 2 said as he is shouting at peter to get off of guy 1 and leave him alone.

"I'm gonna need you to step back." John said as he beats the shit off of Peter until Peter falls unconscious.

"All right, Looks like we're clean down here." Tyler said as they did their duty.

"You guys take it easy since you'll never see him from now on. No need to thank Us. Just pay it forward." John said as John and Tyler drag Peter off to the house.

Now we join Margaret Chevapravatdumrong and Peter Griffin's daughter Emily as she introduces herself threw narration.

 _ **My name is Emily Violet Jane Lovegood, I was formally called Chevapravatdumrong. I resided in a small city of Providence, Road Island. Life was good back then, I wake from my bed and come to my kitchen for breakfast and give a good morning greeting to my mother, Margaret Lovegood.**_

"Morning mom!" Emily said to her mom.

"Morning sweetie." Margaret would say back.

 _ **She is one nice housewife and a great cook, I too can cook, it's in my gene, I once had a part time summer job at McBurgertown.**_

"Morning Dad!" Emily said to my father, Wilbur Lucius Lovegood.

"Morning to you too, Emmy." Wilbur said hi to his daughter.

 _ **He was a very nice dad, although he's always busy with his business, he works as an executive for Cheesie Charlie's,**_

"Hey Jacky!" Emily said to the boy who sits next to her.

 _ **And finally my little brother Jack Niel Lovegood.**_

"Morning sis, I heard that for dinner tomorrow is that we'll be having sewer rats cooked on the barbecue with a drop of feces on the side." Jack said something disgusting which gross out Emily.

"JACK!" Emily shouted from what she heard.

"Relax sis, I'm only kidding." Jack said as he calm her down.

 _ **He is such a teaser and a comedian, he always makes me laugh. after I get my breakfast, walk down the stairs of my appartment and then get on the bus for Providence High School, I'm in my second year, I have been on of the most likable students at Providence High, I have been a top student for cooking, archery, history and drama. I also enjoy making video blogs about myself and throughout my life sometimes when I feel like doing it, each time I make one, I would post them on youtube. My life was good, but today, things are about to change,**_

She was in the back seat on the driver side of a Mercedes sedan, Emily was sitting back listening to "Weenie and the Butt."

"This is "Weenie and the Butt" live, at Quahog's new Hotel, penthouse restaurant on 97.1." Butt said from the radio.

" _WQHG, 97.1!"_ Chorus said from the radio.

"And that was "Material Girl" by Madonna. So what do we have coming up Weenie?" Butt said.

"Well, Quahog's standup comedian Styler Bootsy is will perform a live standup act tonight at this restaurant. Oh, but it looks like everyone's leaving." Weenie said.

"Already? But they haven't got their authentic meal yet." Butt said.

"Excuse me, but why are you leaving? Didn't you know you haven't eaten yet?" Weenie said.

"Well, to answer this. Why would anyone want to watch Styler Bootsy's performance? Everyone hates him because he's never a funny person because he's nothing but a Phony! A big fat PHONEY!" Holden Caulfield said as he appears on the radio.

"Ooh, we forgot about his comedic rating, they always tell because, "He no funny!" Butt Slame!" Weenie said from the radio.

As Cartoon sound effects was then heard.

 _ **While we were on our way to Newport when suddenly,**_

"OH MY GOD!" Emily shouted in horror.

 _ **As I shouted, a car full of drunk prep boys accidentally, crashed at my car, after it happened, I was blacked out for who knows how long I've been out.**_

Now we join Brian and Peter walking down the street while peter was bum out.

"So, they revoked your CPR card, huh?" Brian asked peter.

"Yeah. I tell this is worse than when they took my library card for reading while intoxicated." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about him being drunk in library.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter reading at the library while intoxicated.

"Aw, don't be ashamed of your hand, Johnny Tremain. You'll still have an exciting times. Aw crap" Peter said in a slurred tone.

"Sir, you know how loud you were reading?" a police officer arrived.

"The life of a silversmith's apprentice was not an easy one, ahhh!" Peter ran as he crashed into a bookcase.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the present

I gotta figure out some way to get that card back. Peter said

Well, you could always take the class again. I mean, I'm sure they'll give you another card. Brian said/

When Brian hears Loretta screaming

"Ohhhhhhhhhhahhhhhhhh!" Loretta scream off-screen which alerted Brian.

"Hey, do you hear that?" Brian asked peter on what he heard.

"What?" Peter said in confusion.

"Sounds like someone screaming." Brian said

"What is it, boy? What are you trying to say?" Peter said as he seems to fail to understand what has happened.

"It sounds like Loretta is screaming." Brian tries to explain that it sounded like someone was screaming, to which

"Trouble at the old mill?" Peter replies with "Trouble at the old mill?" This is a reference to Lassie and the innumerable dangers to which Lassie alerted people.

"What, are you insane?" Brian question peter on what the hell that he just said.

"Did somebody fall through the ice?" Peter asking if someone fall through the ice.

It's summer. Brian said to that response.

Bobcat. Pete said something random.

As Brian barking to get peter to listen.

"Loretta's in trouble! Come on boy!" Peter said as they both rushes to Cleveland house.

As they rush in to find Loretta having sex on the couch with a white man who has a tattoo on his buttocks.

"Peter Griffin, temporary suspended CPR...holy crap!" Peter said as he see Loretta making love with someone on the couch.

"We should go." Brian said as they leave the house in shocked. Embarrassed, they leave without seeing the man's face.

"Boy, that was embarrassing, huh? Walking in on Loretta and Cleveland having sex." Peter:

Uh, Peter, that wasn't uh... Brian tries to explain to peter that it wasn't Cleveland that was fucking Loretta.

"You know, for a large heavyset black guy, Cleveland's got a cute little white ass." Peter comments how Cleveland's butt was cute and white.

That wasn't Cleveland. It was some white guy. Brian said what he had on his mind and it was the hard truth.

Meanwhile Inside the brown's resident, Quagmire sits up.

"What was that?" Quagmire said out loud as he takes a break from blowing Loretta.

"Shut up and put some more of that sugar in my bowl." Loretta said as she pulls back quagmire into herself and so they can continued having sex. Then she tackled him to the bed and put his cock in her pussy and started moving.

Quagmire moved as well, he then placed his hands on her hips and used his right to slap her ass.

Loretta moaned and grunted as they kept going and going and then they came and they did sideways, crab style, then Quagmire drill her while she was upside down and then missionary.

They went at it for an hour and they were nearing their limit, Quagmire picked up the pace and then came inside her.

Quagmire then pulled out and catch his breath as Loretta then passed out for the day.

"Well that pleased Loretta, Now to get back." Quagmire said until He notice that he still had 1 more round and Loretta was still naked in her bed so why not get it over with.

As He then positioned Loretta with her head down and her ass up and then stick his cock in her again.

He started screwing her pussy and slapped her ass which was EXTRA THICC, and kept going and going and said "Giggity" 20 times before he came for the last time.

After that he then got Loretta cleaned up and her clothes on and then placed her in bed, he then got his clothes on and went back home.

Now back to Brian and Peter.

"Wait a minute. Brian? If that wasn't Cleveland doing it with Loretta then Loretta's having an affair. We can't tell anyone about this. That is the last thing in the world we want to do." Peter said as they decide that the last thing in the world they should do is tell anyone about this.

They went home and asked Frank to join them to doing everything in the world offscreen. So after doing everything in the world in one day

What a day! We've done everything in the world. So I guess the only thing left to do is tell you that Loretta Brown is having an affair. Frank said which piss off Brian and Peter as they wanted to tell their friend about it.

"Gasp!" lois said in horror.

"Good Lord!" Quagmire said

"Oh god!" bonnie said in shocked with Joe support.

"Oh, no! Oh, God! I'm screwed. This is worse than that time I had to fess up to the nation." Quagmire said as he set up a cutaway about himself.

 **Cutaway**

We see Quagmire as Bill Clinton.

"My fellow Americans, I have not been entirely truthful with you. I did gigoogity that girl. I geschmoigiddied her geflavaty with my googus, and I am sorry." Quagmire explained.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the Mallque/Griffin house.

"Yeah, any idea who it was, Peter?" quagmire question him on the guy who plow Loretta.

"No, we didn't see his face." Brian said his response.

"All They know is it's a skinny white guy with a tattoo on his left butt cheek." Frank said as he point at the duo on they didn't look before they leap.

As Frank Jr came down stairs as he over heard them.

"Well, I better tell Cleveland. I got a knack for delivering bad news." Frank Jr said as he sets ups a cutaway/Musical number about delivering bad news.

 **Cutaway**

We see Dr. Hartman with a patient.

"I don't know how to tell you this, Mr. Devanney, so I'll let these guys do it" Dr. Hartman said as Peter, Frank Jr and The Barbershop Quartet arrived.

 **Peter and Frank Jr**

 _You have AIDS_

 **Group**

 _Yes, you have AIDS_

 **Peter and Frank Jr**

 _I hate to tell you, boy that you have AIDS_

 **Group**

 _You got the AIDS_

 **Peter**

 _You may have caught it when you stuck that filthy needle in here_

 **Group**

 _Or maybe all that unprotected sex put you here_

 **Peter**

 _It isn't clear_

 **All**

 _But what we're certain of is_

 **Peter and Frank Jr**

 _You have AIDS_

 **Group**

 _Yes, you have AIDS_

 **Frank Jr**

 _Not HIV_ ,

 **All**

 _but full-blown AIDS_

 **Group:**

 _Be sure that you see that this is not HIV_

 **All:**

 _But full-blown AIDS not HIV, but really full-blown AIDS_

 **Frank Jr Bass Solo:**

 _I'm sorry, I wish it was something less serious_

 **All:**

 _But it's AIDS you've got the AIDS_.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to Emily's Point of View

 _ **I was awakened and everything looks blurry around, I don't hear anything except for beeping sounds which you would hear on a heart monitor, then I heard a voice**_ **.**

"Well, looks like little miss knockout has finally awake. Nurse, tell the morgue to cancel, it turns out she's recovering." Dr. Hartman said he talk to Emily as she wakes up from her coma.

"Yes Sir." Nurse said as she leave to make a call to the morgue.

"Ugh, what happened, where am I?" Emily said as she groaned in pain.

 _ **My blurry vision became focused after I asked.**_

"Why you're in the Quahog Hospital?" Dr. Hartman answered her question.

 _ **I was attached to an IV, my head and my arm was bandaged, I'm cladded in a turquoise hospital shirt and a strange padded feeling in the crotch.**_

"Who are you?" Emily asked Dr. Hartman.

"Oh come on, don't you remember me? I'm Dr. Elmer Hartman." Dr. Hartman said to himself

"Great, I'm going to have to report that she has amnesia." Dr. Hartman said as he thinks Emily has amnesia.

"Doctor, I can remember very well, I don't have amnesia. I'm Emily Violet Jane Lovegood, I'm born in Providence, Rhode Island, My favorite color is purple, my favorite food is Pepperoni Pizza, My parents' names are- Wait, were are my parents?" Emily said as she reintroduce herself until she remembers her parents.

"Oh, guess she don't have amnesia." Dr. Hartman said to himself which confused Emily.

"How come you don't remember me?" Dr. Hartman asked Emily that she doesn't remember him.

"First off, I never even visited you, second, I asked you a question, where's my parents?!" Emily asked him about parent after dismissing the amnesia.

"Who's parents?" Dr. Hartman asked.

My Parents! Wilbur and Magaret Lovegood... Emily said their names as she gets piss off by his bit.

"Oh them? Well Im sorry I have to say this but, your parents and your brother are dead." Dr. Hartman said the truth which shocked her.

What?! Emily said in shocked.

"They died in a car crash you in, they're now at the morgue, but we can't see them." Dr. Hartman said as he explains what happened to them and they can see them.

"What, why?" Emily asked him in awe and shocked on the why they can see her parents.

"For one thing, I'm banned from going in there and they don't allow any visitors in there." Dr. Hartman said his response and which made her fall on the floor by that joke.

 _ **As I started to cry after hearing this.**_

"There, there, we're sorry this happened to you." Dr. Hartman said as he tries to calm her down.

"Why would they have to go so soon?! I now lost my family, and now I won't be able to see them again!" Emily said as she is sobbing by her lost.

"Poor girl." Dr. Hartman said to himself as he pets her head.

"Please don't cry Ms. Griffin, because if you cry.." Dr. Hartman said to Emily as he tries to cheer her up.

"It makes me want to cry too!" Dr. Hartman said as he starts sobbing.

 _ **A few seconds later, I stopped crying in and got confused.**_

"Wait, Griffin? Why did you call me Griffin?" Emily asked him.

As Dr. Hartman stopped crying and turn to her.

"Oh about that, Wilbur Lovegood isn't your biological father." Dr. Hartman said that Wilbur wasn't her father.

"What? Of course he is!" Emily said as she trying to defend her family.

"No, he isn't, your DNA doesn't even match with Wilbur's, you family record said that your mother married him two years after you we're born." Dr. Hartman said as he takes out her DND records.

"How can you tell?" Emily asked him.

"Your family records and your birth certificate." Dr. Hartman said as he gives her records.

 _ **As Dr. Hartman show me my birth certificate and it shows my name, birth, and my mothers name, but father's name wasn't on it. instead, it say's "Some random handsome drunk fat guy."**_

"Some random handsome drunk fat guy"? So you're saying my mother was raped?" Emily said in shocked

Actually, your mother's medical record said that during her bachelorette party, she met this fat guy was drunk and he mated with her in a hotel, thought he kept called her 'Lois', she had to let it go because he was drunk, so when you were knocked out, we've took a bit of your DNA to match with the DNA to find your biological father and of course, we found him." Dr. Hartman said as he explain that her mother got hammered and fuck the shit of her real father which caused her to be planted in her mother.

"So, who's my real father?" Emily asked Dr. Hartman on her true father.

"Why, your father of course is Peter Griffin." Dr. Hartman said that peter griffin is her real father.

 _ **And I then looked at again and ponder.**_

"Mom... why didn't you tell me in the first place?" Emily said to herself in questioning her mother on why she didn't tell her the truth.

 _ **Then suddenly Death opened the door and came into my room.**_

"So where's to the dead corpse of Emily Violet Jane Griffin?" Death asked Dr. Hartman on Emily being dead.

"Sorry Death, false alarm, Emily Griffin is still alive and recovering." Dr. Hartman said as he tells Death that Emily is alive.

"Oh, then I guess it's only three bodies who died in that car crash." Death said in disappointment.

As Death walks out the door and left.

"So when will I be out?" Emily asked Dr. Hartman on when she get out of the hospital.

"Oh, you be out and recovered in a week and right now, it smells like you need a change." Dr. Hartman said his answer which confused Emily.

"Change, what do you mean by that?" Emily said in confusion.

"Well due to the effects from that car accident, your bowls lost control which mean you are permanently incontinent, which is why it be best for you to wear some protective undergarments." Dr. Hartman explain that due to the effects from that car accident, your bowls lost control which mean you are permanently incontinent.

"What!?" Emily said in shocked.

 _ **I flapped the covers off and saw that I was wearing an adult diaper, so that's why I felt some padding at the crotch, also when I was chatting with Dr. Hartman I found out I've soiled myself unaware.**_

"How is this even possible?" Emily asked him.

"Like said, you're incontinent, speaking of which?" Dr. Hartman said.

As Dr. Hartman spoke though a communicator on the wall.

"Nurse, you might want to come up, young Emily Griffin here need's changing." Dr. Hartman asked the nurse from the intercom.

"Yes, Doctor." Nurse said from the intercom.

"Why do I have to wear that?! It makes me look absolutely ridiculous, and also I crapped myself due to medical condition, I look like such a fool..." Emily said as she feels embarrass.

"I'm sorry this happened to you, but you have no other option but to wear these 24/7." Dr. Hartman said as she has to wear these or she can shit her underwear all the time.

"But I don't want anybody to see me in this, if they did, I'll be the laughing stock in Rhode Island..." Emily said as she explain that nobody must never she her like this.

"Well, if you don't want to be embarrassed, why don't you wear a dress?" Dr. Hartman said as he tell her to wear a dress to hind the diapers.

"Well… I could go with that..." Emily said to that answer.

 _ **The Nurse came in a few minutes later and then unfastened the tabs from my undergarment and then started to wipe me.**_

"So my father all this time is a fat guy named Peter Griffin?" Emily asked Dr. Hartman about Peter.

"Why yes." Dr. Hartman said to Emily.

"How did you know him anyway?" Emily asked him on how he know Peter's name.

"Well, he always comes here with his family, and when your mother's family record said that "Some fat man" has mated with your mother thinking its "Lois", then it became obviously Peter Griffin." Dr. Hartman said his answer.

"What makes you think it's him?" Emily asked him on how he knew that it was him.

 _ **As I asked, my nurse had fastened my fresh adult diaper on me.**_

"Well, it was obvious since he's the only fat guy in town who has wife named Lois." Dr. Hartman said his response.

"I guess it makes sense..." Emily said as she accept that answer.

 _ **A week has passed since I have woken up from my coma, both my arm and head got better since I no longer need my bandagers or my IV, but I'm still cladded in a disposable undergarment, I now feel humiliated since I had no choice but to wear them permanently. Today's my day for me to leave this hospital. Just then, Dr. Hartman came in.**_

"Good morning Emily, I see you're all up and about." Dr. Hartman said hi to Emily.

"Indeed I am but I'm kind of nervous when I leave this hospital." Emily said as she feels nerves to leave the hospital.

"I understand you didn't want to go because of… 'That', but we know that this place isn't a place for people to live." Dr. Hartman said that Emily can live in ahospital for her whole life.

"I understand that, but I don't want anyone to notice my adult diaper, do have a dress for me to wear when I go out." Emily said as she doesn't want nobody to see her diapers.

"Well you are going to be wearing a black dress today because you're going to be attending your family's funeral." Dr. Hartman said her news.

 _ **Just then, a man wearing a pair of glasses came in holding a black dress on its hanger.**_

"Hello Emily." Weinstein said hi to her.

"Uh, hi, who might you be?" Emily asking him on who he is.

"I am Max Weinstein, accountant, I'm here to take you to the funeral and help you move." Weinstein said as he introduce himself to Emily.

"Move, where?" Emily asked him on where she is going.

"After I told Mr. Weinstein and the Court about this, they agreed to let you move in with you biological father, Peter Griffin." Dr. Hartman said as he explains that she is going to live with her father Peter Griffin.

"I'm moving in with my real dad, are you sure about this?" Emily asking if this is okay.

"Why yes, he's a real nice guy with his loving wife Lois, his daughters Meg and Persephone, Meg's husband Frank, their child Frank Jr, His Sons Chris and Stewie, and two amnesic guys John and Tyler." Dr. Hartman said as he explains her new family and their family members.

"I also know him because I once helped him get back his money he used by volcano insurance." Weinstein said as he explain his experience with the Mallque/Griffin family

"Volcano insurance?" Emily asked him.

"It's a phony insurance that this salesman sold your father to." Weinstein explains her on how he saves the day.

Now back Peter, Frank, Frank Jr, John, Tyler and Brian at the bar with Cleveland.

"So, listen, Cleveland. The reason we asked you out here is pop's been wanting to talk to you about something." Frank said as he passed the conversation to Peter.

"In Superman II, what is the story with that cellophane "S" that Superman rips off his chest and throws at the bad guy?" Peter said as he sets up the cutaway.

 **Cutaway**

We see Superman with villains.

"Prepare to be destroyed, Superman!" the male villain shouted as Superman threw the S from his costume at him and he was defeated with ease.

"What was that?" the villain asked.

"Yeah, take that, you jerk!" Superman answered.

That was a minor inconvenience" the villain argued.

"Yeah, well, that's the idea. To slow you down. I'll say. Ow" Superman added.

"Didn't see that coming, did you?" the villain asked.

"No. Yeah, well, you know, take that" Superman answered.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the bar with Cleveland.

"Which actually brings me to my next point, your wife's cheating on you." Frank Jr said the truth.

"What?" Cleveland said in shocked.

"Yeah, it's actually a pretty funny story, true story. Brian and Grandpa walked into your house and she was with some guy going Bam, bam, bam." Frank Jr said as his description of Loretta's affair consists mostly of the word "Bam" spoken repeatedly.

"Frank Jr, maybe I should!" Brian tries to take over until Frank Jr stops him.

"Hang on, I'm not done. Bam, bam. And then she's all, "Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You want to take it from here, Grandpa?" Frank Jr said as after a while, he asks Peter to take over

"Bam, bam, bam. You want to take it from here, Bamm-Bamm? Peter said as after a while, he asks Bamm-Bamm Rubble from The Flintstones to take over

"Bam-bam, bam-bam. You want to take it from here, EmeriI?" Bamm-Bamm said his bit until he then passes it on to Emeril Lagasse

"Bam!" EmeriI said as he finishes it with his trademark "Bam!"

"So that's what we're deallng with here. Any thoughts?" Frank said as nobody responded.

Meanwhile back at the Brown household we see Loretta on the couch as Cleveland enter in painful betrayed.

Loretta, is it true what they're saying? Were you really having carnal relations with another gentleman? Cleveland calmly questions Loretta over the affair

I'm a woman, Cleveland! I need some passion in my life! I need a real man, and Lord knows that ain't you! Loretta said it angrily as she responds that she needs a real man.

Well, I admit after a long day at work, I don't always come home with that "Reuniti on Ice, That's Nice" mentality. And for that, I apologize. Cleveland responds in his usual mild-mannered way, even apologizing.

Apologize?! I cheat on you, and you apologize to me?! Cleveland Brown, you are pathetic! Loretta said in anger as her pity him, while menma and negi were shock from hearing this from upstairs.

I disagree, but I respect your condor. Cleveland said responds in his usual mild-mannered way, even apologizing while Menma pack his stuff with Negi.

As Loretta pushing Cleveland out the door, while Menma and Negi leave threw the window with their cash to leave nothing for Loretta.

"Good-bye, Cleveland!" Loretta said as she kicks him out of the house in disgust.

"I love you." Cleveland said as the door slams shut in his face.

Now back to Emily's Point Of View of the story.

 _ **Mr. Weinstein and I left the hospital and we got into his black sedan and he drove me to the Quahog Cemetery, I was already prepared in my black dress along with black eyeliners and dark purple lipstick and some dark purple hair dye on part of my hair, my family was there, my grandparents, my Aunt Joyce, some of my old friends, some of my parents' friends and Mayor Adam West was there.**_

"Adam West?" Emily said as she confronts the mayor of quahog.

"Why hello there citizen." Mayor West said hello to Emily.

"First off, I have enjoyed your old TV show, "Batman", second, why are you at my parent's funeral?" Emily asking mayor west on why he is here?

"Oh I didn't come here to attend a funeral, I came here to visit one of my cat's grave." Mayor West said his response.

He walk over to his cat's tombstone.

"I still miss you Snookie!" Mayor West said as he is sobbing for the loss of his cat.

 _ **As Dark clouds loom over as everyone I know made a few dedicated speeches about my mom, my step-dad and my brother, then it was my turn for the speech.**_

"I never knew something like this would ever happen to them, I will alway miss them even if they're in my heart, I had a perfect childhood with them until they were gone, and now my childhood is over. Jack, you have been the funniest brother I've ever known, I can always remember them. Dad, or should I say Wilbur, you have been a good father to me, even when I found out you're not my biological father, and Mom..." Emily said as she Tears swell up in her eyes and tries to finish her family's speech.

"I will miss you most, I will always love you, you've everything I needed to know and so I just have to say, "Goodbye mother, you've always been with me". Emily said as she finished her speech.

 _ **Once I finished my speech, the bagpipe player preformed "Amazing Grace" which was heard in "Star Trek: Wrath of Khan" as it rains while the coffins were being lowered to their holes as I tossed a rose down to each of their coffins.**_

 _ **Once the funeral's over, Mr. Weinstein drove me to my house, or should I say "My former House", when I got there, I changed out of my funeral dress and look for something different to wear since I used to wear a pink sleeveless crop top and a pair of jeans originally but now that I'm cladded in disposable undergarments, I had to wear something different to hide it. So I decided to wear a pink dress which can go down to my knees, some long black and purple striped tube socks, and a pair of black mary-jane shoes, the funny thing about me wearing this dress with stockings and a strip of purple hair, I kinda look like an average teenage girl in the 1980s (Man I miss those days) except for the fact that I'm wearing adult diapers due to the fact I'm incontinent. After I changed into my dress, I packed up everything I needed, my clothes, my light purple hair dye, my DVD collections and my old family picture which is on my mom's desk in her bedroom, when I looked a bit for a minute, tears trickled down my cheek. Also I found my mom's old sapphire necklace, it is small and thin, my mother used to wear it during**_ _ **her wedding, and I decided to put in on around my neck so I could remember her in love and respect. Once my bags we're packed up, I place them in Mr. Weinstein's trunk and then we drove away, it was still raining out.**_

"Is that all you gonna need?" Weinstein asked as he enter the room.

"Not quite, I'm also gonna need my bed, my TV and my PC computer." Emily said her response.

"I'll have the movers take them to your new house once they give you your own room, if it's alright." Weinstein said as he tells her that the movers take them to your new house once they give you, your own room.

"Thanks." Emily said as she continues her packing.

 _ **After a thirty minute drive, we then took a stop at Goldman's Pharmacy because I had to take Dr. Hartman's advice to buy myself some undergarments.**_

"Why Hello, welcome to Goldman's Pharmacy, I'm Mort Goldman, what can I get you?" Mort Goldman said hi to Emily and asked her on what she want.

"Uh, Hi, I'm here to buy some disposable undergarments for the incontinence." Emily said as she explain what she need for her incontinence problem.

"Oh, so you want to buy a pack of adult diapers, over on isle 2." Mort Goldman said as he point her at the isle 2

"Thanks." Emily said as she went on her way.

 _ **I went over to isle 2 and picked out their store brand in size medium, then I payed him $36.39**_

"Thanks for stopping by Goldman's Pharmacy." Mort Goldman said goodbye to Emily as she leaves the store.

 _ **After I paid, I carried them out and put them in the trunk and moved on to my destination.**_

As the doorbell rings at the Mallque/Griffin House.

"Could somebody get the door?" Stewie said as he and Frank Jr were watching TV.

"I got it..." Brian said to the babies on the couch.

As Brian opens the door to reveal Mr. Weinstein and a blond 15 year old girl who is dressed in her 1980s clothing while sheltered under Mr. Weinstein's Umbrella.

"Mr. Weinstein, I didn't expect to see you, who this young lady?" Brian said hello to Mr. Weinstein and asked him on who is the girl next to him.

"Hi, I'm Emily Lovegood, is your owner home?" Emily asking Brian on where Peter is.

"Brian, who's at the door?" Frank Jr said as he walk toward to him with Stewie.

"It's Mr. Weinstein and a teenage girl named Emily Lovegood." Brian said to the babies on who was here on the front door.

"That Jewish accountant and a girl we don't know?" Stewie said in confusion with Frank Jr nodding in agreement.

"Is Mr. Griffin home?" Weinstein asking them if Peter is home.

As Brian then noticed Peter's car drove up to their driveway, both Frank and Peter came out of the car.

"He is now." Brian said as he turn To Peter

"Hey Peter, Mr. Weinstein's here to see you!" Brian shout at him.

Then Peter came up to Mr. Weinstein as Frank and Lois came towards the stairs.

"Mr. Weinstein, It's so good to see you again, who is this girl your with?" Peter said hello to Mr. Weinstein and asked him on who is the girl next to him.

"This is Emily Violet Jane Lovegood, she's your biological daughter." Weinstein said as he drop the news about Emily being Peter's daughter.

Then everyone except Mr. Weinstein stared at Emily in shock.

"She WHAAAAAAAAT?!" Frank Jr and Stewie said together in shocked.

"I have another daughter?" Peter said in confusion as he puts his hand on his head to think.

"You have a daughter that you didn't know?" Frank asked him

"Peter, how did you get another daughter, have you been cheating on me?!" Lois said in anger as she thinks that Peter has cheated on her.

"No Lois, I would never cheat on you, honest, how would I know if I hook up with another woman, I don't remember all that." Peter said as he explain to her that he would never cheat on her.

"Well your record said that 15 years ago, you have but you don't remember it because you were drunk." Weinstein said as he explain that Peter did it with Emily's mom while drunk.

"Oh… I didn't realize that, but still, how can it be me? It could've been someone else." Peter asks for proof.

"Well, to make you more convinced, I've got her blood test results, and it proves that you are his father." Weinstein said as he pulls out the results.

As Peter looked at her results and found what Mr. Weinstein said is true.

"Holly Crap! She really is my daughter after all!" Peter said in shocked by learning the truth.

"Anyway, why is she her?" Lois asking on why emily is here.

"I'm going to be moving in because last week, my old family died in a car accident." Emily said as she tells them about happened to her old family.

"*gasps* Oh my god..." Lois said in shocked from what she has learn from Emily.

"You poor girl… How did this happen?" Peter asking her on how here parents died.

"I was on my way to Newport until some drunk frat boys, crashed into my old family's car, I was in that car accident too but luckily, I survived but sadly due to my injuries, I ended up permanently incontinent." Emily said as she explains what happened and why she is here.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry to hear that, you are gladly welcome to stay." Lois said

But Lois, where will she sleep? There's no room for her to sleep in. Peter said

As Lois pace herself around the room until an idea pop into her head.

"Well for now, she will be sleeping in my piano room where I teach my Piano lessons until we've added another room for her in the basement." Lois said as she tell them the arrangements for Emily.

"Well I better go now, I have work tomorrow, and Mr. Griffin, once your house expansions finished, let me know so I can have the movers bring in her stuff will you?" Weinstein said as he said his good byes to the family.

"Sure thing, Mr. Weinstein." Peter said as he will do his best.

"And Emily, good luck with your new home." Weinstein said his good byes to Emily.

Thank you, Mr. Weinstein. Emily said her goodbyes to Weinstein.

As Mr. Weinstein left the house as Emily placed my bags in the middle of the floor.

"So, Emily Lovegood, or should I say 'Griffin' since I'm your father, welcome to Family, since you know me and my wife, or should I say "your new mother, Lois"." Peter said as he introduce her to Lois as her new step mom.

"Please to meet you, "Mom"." Emily said hello to Lois.

"Well, I am pleased to have another daughter in the family." Lois said as she is happy to have another daughter.

Not to forget she's more beautiful then Meg. Peter said until Frank slaps him on the head

"Ow!" Peter said in pain.

"Pops..." Frank said in anger, as peter went to the next person.

"And I see you've already met my dog Brian." Peter said as he show Emily their family dog Brian.

"Nice to meet you, Emily." Brian said his hello to Emily, as lois introduce her to the aby of the Griffin family.

"And your baby brother, Stewie. Say hi to your new sister, Stewie." Lois said as she shows Stewie to Emily.

"Big deal, so what I have another sister?" Stewie said in an uncaring tone.

"Why would you say something like that?" Emily said in question.

"Well it's because I don't care and- What the duce is this?" Stewie said as he notice something about Emily's dress.

As Stewie holds up the helm of Emily's dress and looks under it.

"Is that a diaper you're wearing?" Stewie said as he looks shocked from what he has discovered.

"HEY!" Emily shouted at Stewie from doing that.

"Stewie, that's a naughty baby!" Lois said as she takes Stewie in her arms.

As Lois carries Stewie to calm him down.

"I'm sorry for what Stewie did to you." Lois said as her apologies to Emily for what Stewie.

"It's fine Mom, this is something I better get used to." Emily said as she accept her apology and she has to get used to her problem.

"This is unbelievable, I have another sister who is fifteen and still in diapers, who would've thought I would inspect such a thing? I'm starting to get more interesting than that time I teleported John into one of his video games." Stewie said as he sets up a cutaway with video games.

 **Cutaway**

Stewie was playing Super Mario Brother instead, he's playing John instead of Mario.

This isn't funny Stewie, get me out of this game! John said

Not to worry J-man, you'll be out of here, once you've defeated the boss... Stewie said

Boss? What boss? John said

John approached Bowser.

Well well well, look who we have here... Bowser said

Oh crap... John said

Bowser blew fire breath a John and John lost a life.

Stewie laughs at John losing one life.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we are back at the living room as Frank Introduce himself to Emily.

"Hi Emily, My names is Frank and I'm your brother in-law because I married one of your sisters, Meg Griffin." Frank said hello to her and explain to her why he live here. Then he introduce her to his son.

"And your baby nephew, Frank Jr. Say hi to your new aunt, Frank Jr.?" Frank said

"Hi aunt Emily, sorry about Stewie see your big diapers."

Peter then showed me Chris' room.

This is your brother, Chris. Peter said

Hi Chris, hey um, Chris, why are you scared? Emily said

There's an evil monkey in my closet! Chris said

The camera zooms at the monkey angrily pointing at Chris.

Don't mind him, he talks crazy. Peter said

 _ **I moved on to Meg and Persephone, where a girl a year older than me wearing glasses, she has long brown hair, she wears a rosie pink sweater with a white blouse, she has blue pants that look like her mom's, Persephone has orange shirt and teal skirt, and a sleeveless leather vest. Both them laying on their stomachs texting on their phones.**_

"And over in this room is Meg and Persephone, they're your ugly sisters..." Peter said as the girl stand up to see a new girl in the house and she is holding Frank Jr.

"Why would h call Meg and Persephone ugly?" Emily asked Peter on why call her sister ugly.

"Because it's them and nobody care." Peter said like on bored idiot which piss off Frank and frank Jr.

"You know I can hear you." Persephone said while Meg just shrugged.

"Shut up Persephone." Peter tells her to shut up.

"Hey don't tell her to shut up." John said Off-screen while Frank Jr knocks Peter out.

"That's John, he lives in the basement with his friend Tyler." Frank said as he tells her about John and Tyler who live in the basement.

"Hey Frank, who's that with you?" Meg asked her husband on who is Emily.

"I'm your sister, Emily Griffin." Emily said which shocked both twins.

"Our sister?" Persephone said in happiness and shocked

"Oh… my god, I can't believe this, we have a sister!" Meg said as she cheer for a new friend and family member.

"Let's move on now." Peter said as he rises from his knocked out.

 **As Peter pushes me away from Meg's room.**

"But I didn't even get the chance to know her." Emily said as she feels ignored.

 _ **We then came to the Basement where John and Tyler's bedroom was set up.**_

"In here, is our basement, we made this into a bedroom for John and Tyler." Frank said as he explains how they made the basement into a spare room for the boys.

"Wow, that's some fine improvement in here. Emily said in amazement.

"I know, I helped them set it all up and since you moved in, were going to build another bedroom down here." Peter said as he will make another room for Emily.

 _ **We then came back up in our living room, John and Tyler were there with Stewie.**_

"Hey guys, we've got another family member in the house, this is my daughter Emily Griffin. Emily, this John and Tyler." Peter said as he introduce them to Emily.

"Hi." Emily said to John and Tyler.

"Wait, you have another daughter?" John said in shocked.

"How was that even possible?" Tyler asked him on how it happened.

"Well, fifteen years ago when I was drunk, I had sex with another woman by mistake." Peter said as he explain on how Emily happened.

"You what?" Tyler said in shocked.

"Oh, shame on you Peter." John said as he shame peter with Stewie join in.

"Yeah, that's totally grouse man." Stewie said his bit.

"Why would you do something like that?" John asked peter on what he did 15 years ago.

"Hey, cut me some slack, I was only drunk, okay? Just let it go already…" Peter said as he tells them to let it go.

"Fine..." Tyler said as he sit in his bed in a huff.

"Anyway, so Emily, what do think of this place?" Frank asked her if she like the place.

"I think I'm going to like it here." Emily said in a happy tone which made both Frank and Frank Jr

Just then, the doorbell rang and Lois answered to reveal a slightly fat African-American man in a yellow shirt and blue pants who is new to Emily.

"Oh Hi Cleveland." Lois said hi to Cleveland.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Peter asked him on why he is here today.

"Oh Loretta kicked me out." Cleveland said his terrible news.

"Oh Cleveland, I am so sorry, you can stay in here as long as you like." Lois said as she lets Cleveland in the house.

"Are you sure about this Mrs. Griffin? I mean, your new daughter had just move in." John said as the house will be packed.

"Cleveland sit down, I want to sing a little song that uh… kept me going when I had troubles." Peter said as he takes Cleveland to the couch.

As Peter then starts to play his guitar.

 **Peter**

 _We were at the beach_

 _Everybody had, matching towels_

 _Somebody went, under a dock_

 _and there they saw, a rock!_

 _But it wasn't a rock,_

 _It was a rock lobster!_

 _Rock lobster!_

 _Rock lobster!_

As Peter then stopped playing his tune and giggled.

"Hi-hi-hi-hi-hi, Yeah, you're gonna be okay..." Peter said as he pats Cleveland back.

Now we join everyone at the kitchen, having a meeting.

"Now, everybody, Cleveland's gonna be staying with us for a few days." Lois said that The Griffins invite him to stay in their house.

"That's right, kids. So just treat him like one of the family." Peter tells them to treat him like a part of the family.

"You mean like Cousin Janine who we're polite to but then mock her diabetes on the drive home? She can't eat carameI." Chris said something funny.

"Exactly." Peter said in agreement with Chris, as both babies stared at Cleveland's hair.

"Can we touch your hair? We're gonna do it. We're gonna touch it." Stewie said as both Stewie and Frank Jr touch Cleveland's hair and squealed in excitement.

"It's like a sheep!" Frank Jr said in excitement

Now we join Frank, Peter, Brain and Frank Jr in the living room watching TV as Lois come in.

"You know, Peter, I'm a little worried about Cleveland. His wife cheated on him, kicked him out of the house and he doesn't seem at all affected by it." Lois claims Cleveland doesn't seem affected by the fact that his wife has kicked him out of the house and cheated on him at all.

"He's probably bottling up his emotions. That's not good for you." Brian said as he thinks that Cleveland shouldn't bottle up his emotions.

"Right. I almost got an ulcer after you shelled out $200 for tickets to Crossing Over with John Edward." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway with him being on Crossing Over with John Edward.

 **Cutaway**

The scene shifts to a talk show.

"I'm sensing an "A." Does your name begin with an "A"?" John asked.

"No" Peter answered.

"A "B"?" John asked him.

"No." Peter answered.

"C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P?" John asked until Peter shouted the letter of his name.

""P"! Peter! My name's Peter! Peter shouted his name.

Is your name Peter? John asked.

Wow, you are some kind of sorcerer" Peter cheered.

 **Cutaway Ends**

"What Cleveland really needs right now is to learn how to express his feelings." Lois said

"Nah, what he needs right now is a revenge lay. And I know just who to talk to." Peter suggests that what Cleveland needs is a "revenge lay" and decides to ask Quagmire for advice.

A transition between two scenes imitates Transformers animated series Transformers, in which the Autobot and Decepticon symbols alternate as the show moves between scenes showing one group and scenes showing the other. In this case, the faces are that of Peter and Quagmire.

As we join to the quagmire residents, with Quagmire is working out in revealing leopard-skin briefs when Peter, Frank and Brian arrive.

\- Oh, God! Brian said as he look at quagmire almost naked body.

\- Sorry, guys. Let me throw something on. Quagmire said as he turn to get his cloak, the trio look at a strange the tattoo on his butt.

\- Peter, look! Brian said as he recognize the tattoo on his butt

\- Holy crap, that's the tattoo! Peter said as They instantly recognize the tattoo on his butt.

"Well, I think we're about to find out who the culprit is. 555-0143!" Peter said as he take out his cell phone and called the number on the tattoo.

"Peter, I-." Brian said as he tries to tell him that Glenn was Loretta's partner but Peter won't listen.

"Shut up, Brian! I'm sleuthing." Peter said as he calls quagmire.

"Hello?" Quagmire said as he answer the phone.

"Quagmire?" Peter said threw his phone.

\- Yeah. Quagmire said as he notice that peter is calling him threw his phone while being at his house.

"Hey, it's Peter. What's going on, buddy? We're at your house." Peter said as Frank knocked the phone off Peter's hand.

"Pops, he's the one we saw sleeping with Loretta!" Frank said as they realize that Glenn was Loretta's partner.

"Oh, my God! Damn it, I knew this was gonna happen! I didn't mean it, you know? I knew it was a mistake! It never felt right! Please don't tell Cleveland!" Quagmire preas to them to not tell Cleveland.

"Well, all right, Quagmire." Peter said as they leave the house.

But both Frank, Peter and Brian immediately tell Cleveland at their house

"Cleveland, Quagmire's sleeping with your wife!" Frank blab the truth right into Cleveland's face.

"What?" Lois said in shocked.

"Quagmire slept with Loretta?" Cleveland said in a sad tone.

"Oh, my God, Cleveland! I am so sorry. I can only imagine what you must be feeling right now." Lois said as she feels sorry for Cleveland.

"It's okay." Cleveland said as to everyone's surprised when he shows almost no reaction.

"It's okay? It's okay to be betrayed by your wife and best friend? Better it be Quagmire than someone she could get a disease from." Brian said as he explain to Cleveland if he really okay with quagmire sleeping with his wife.

"Cleveland, don't you see? This is why your wife left you. You don't have any passion. Sometimes a woman wants to see her man be a man. Meg tells Cleveland that Loretta wants him to express his feelings, that women sometimes want men to be strong and stand up for them.

"You got to push back a little! You got to get a little rough! Oh, God! Peter, hit me!" Lois said as she becomes aroused at her own motivational speech, drops her pants, showing her pink thong though she typically wears panties, and asks Peter to spank her.

Yeah! Frank and Brian said as they apparently also lost in the moment, smacks her butt instead.

After a moment of awkward silence, they got relaxed.

"Wow, so that's something, about Quagmire and Loretta, huh?" Frank said.

As Frank and Peter tries to get their friend to feel some passion by taking him to a wrestling match, but it affects Peter much more than Cleveland.

"Cleveland, we got to get your manhood back. Now, the first thing we're gonna do is take you to a good, old-fashioned, wrestling match." Frank said as they take their seat into arena.

"All right, Cleveland. Nothing like a good smackdown to get the testosterone going." Peter said as he more affects here than Cleveland.

"I must be in Quahog 'cause all I see is a bunch of hicks!" Macho Man Randy Savage said some insults about quahog which piss the people out.

"You take that back, Macho Man Randy Savage! Doesn't he make you so mad you just want to go down there and hit him?" Frank shouted in anger.

"No." Cleveland said as he Pussy outs.

"Well, maybe not him 'cause he's kind of big. But don't you want to hit the guy sitting next to you?" Peter said as he want Cleveland to fight the guy next to him but he realized that he too big.

"Not him 'cause he's kind of big, too. But don't you want to hit his kid?" Frank said as he knocked out the kid in anger.

"Take that, Macho Man Randy Savage. You jerk." Peter and Frank both shouted in anger.

Now we are back at the Mallque/Griffin house in the living room with Peter and Cleveland.

"All right, Cleveland. If this doesn't light a fire in your belly, nothin' will." Peter said.

As He puts on a Quagmire mask which shocked Frank Jr as he enter the room.

"Hey! Look at me! I'm Quagmire. I had sex with your wife. Giggity, giggity, giggity, giggity!" Peter said as he act like quagmire.

As Cleveland laughs at his expense.

"Hahahaha, those are so his mannerisms." Cleveland said as he laughs.

"Peter, what the hell are you doing?" Brian said as he enters the room.

"I'm not Peter. I'm Quagmire. And I'm doin' you, Loretta." Peter said as he grabs Brian.

Then he puts a Loretta mask on Brian and starts molests Brian.

What the hell? Brian said in shocked.

As the two act out Quagmire having sex with Loretta; much to Cleveland's anger; Cleveland growls, grabs the Quagmire mask, and splits it in half.

"Glenn Quagmire, YOU'RE DEAD!" Cleveland said as he becomes enraged and vows to kill Quagmire.

While the "Popeye" theme music begins to play as Cleveland eats a can of spinach Popeye style. Steam proceeds to blow out of Cleveland's ears.

As the scene fades to black.

As we join Cleveland begins to storm towards the door with Frank Jr trying to stop him with pulling on Cleveland's pants.

"All right, all right, calm down, Cleveland." Peter said as he tries to calm him down.

"I'm gonna kill Quagmire!" Cleveland said as he panting in anger.

"Oh God, you're hyperventilating! Chris, get me a bag." Peter said as he asked Chris for a bag.

As Chris arrives and he hands Peter a plastic bag.

While Cleveland still panting in anger.

"Okay, Cleveland, breathe into the bag. It'll calm you down." Peter said.

As Peter places the bag over Cleveland's head.

"Peter, I'm not sure that that's..." Lois said as she tries to stop peter was ignored.

While Cleveland begins grasping for air and trying to get out of the bag.

"Not now, Lois. Okay, Cl-Cl... Okay, Cl...Cleveland, Cleveland, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax. There you go. There you go. Okay, shh, shh-shh-shh-shh. It's okay, it's okay. It's all gonna be okay." Peter said as he tries to calm down Cleveland.

As Cleveland lays on the ground, unconscious.

Peter, you better do your CPR. Lois said as she asked him to do his CPR on Cleveland.

"There's no time Lois, we got to go warn Quagmire while we got the chance." Frank Jr said as he and Peter has to warn quagmire.

"Quick, to the Peter copter!" Peter boldly shouts as they then crashes said helicopter into Joe's yard.

"Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, my God!" Frank Jr begins to freaky out.

"Peter, what the hell?" Joe said in horror.

"Joe, get inside! The blades are still spinning!" Peter said

"Oh, my God, Peter! What is that thing?" Joe said in question as the helicopter is destroy his yard.

"Joe! Get inside!" Peter said as he shouts at Joe to get in his house to be safe.

"It's tearing up my yard!" Joe said in horror.

"Oh, my God!" Peter said.

"No!" Joe said as the helicopter ran out of gas as everyone is trying to clean themselves

"Joe, I am sorry, buddy." Peter said as his apologies

"It's okay. Look, it's okay." Joe said as he accepts his apology

"Are you okay? You all right?" Peter said as he checks him if he is hurt.

"It's okay. I'm fine. Everybody's fine." Joe said he is fin and his family is fine.

"That was scary. Peter said in terror.

Now we join Peter, Frank and Quagmire at Mayor Adam West's mansion as Peter realizes that he has gone too far and tries to protect Glenn by hiding him here.

"Peter, what are we doing here?" Quagmire asked peter.

"Trust me, Quagmire. Cleveland will never think to look for you at Mayor West's house." Peter said.

While Frank rang the doorbell as Mayor West answer the door.

"Hey, there." Frank said his hellos to the town's mayor.

"How you doing? Good evening, gentlemen." Mayor West said helloe to them.

"Listen, Mayor West, my friend Quagmire here's in trouble. He needs a place to stay tonight." Frank asked him to hide quagmire for tonight.

"Say no more. I'll protect you, sir. It is my job. I only ask that you do not feed my cat, Bootsie as he's already eaten and might throw up." Mayor West said as he will hide quagmire.

Now we join Frank Jr and Stewie watches an episode of Bewitched, as Darrin is an elephant by Endora magic. While Cleveland near a window as he punches his fists while looking at threw the window.

"Well, Derwood, now you really are the big man of the house." Endora said in sarcastically voice.

"Mother, change him back." Samantha said as Endora changes him back.

"You know, Endora, I'm getting a little sick of this crap." Darrin Stephens said as he gets sick of Endora constantly using her magic to ruin his life

"You ever seen one of these? Huh? You know what this is? Huh?" Darrin Stephens said as he show her a bottle of water.

"No!" Endora said her response

"Yeah, it's holy water." Darrin Stephens said as he uses holy water on her and caused her pain.

"Huh? Yeah. Try it. How's that feeI? You like that? Power of Christ compels you, bitch." Darrin Stephens said as he uses holy water against her.

Now back to the living room with the babies and Cleveland.

"I hate Bewitched." Cleveland said as he flips the couth over with said babies in it.

Hey, so that's a pretty reasonable reaction, huh? Frank Jr said to his response.

Meanwhile at Mayor Adam West's mansion. West's lunacy soon proves too much for even Quagmire.

"It's all right to go to sleep, my friend. I'll stand guard." Mayor Adam West said as he is dress like a British guard.

"Okay." Quagmire said as he is in bed.

"Don't worry. I'll be here all night. Just don't try to make me smile. I'm forbidden to smile." Mayor Adam West said until he thought something funny.

"Oh, no. That episode of Growing Pains when Mike's friend Boner ran for student counciI. Boner. His name was Boner. Ahahaah!" Mayor Adam West said as he laugh and broke his ruler.

"I've failed you." Mayor Adam West said in disappointment.

"This is kind of creeping me out. I'm gonna go." Quagmire said as he leaves Mayor West's protection.

"Take this, for protection." Mayor Adam West said Quagmire is given a banana to protect himself with.

"What the hell's this for?" Quagmire said in question.

When the time comes, you'll know. Mayor Adam West said as this is in reference to Monty Python's "Self Defense against Fresh Fruit" skit from Monty Python's Flying Circus and later used in Monty Python's And Now for Something Completely Different.

Now back to the Mallque/Griffin house with Cleveland.

"I'll teach him to mess with my wife." Cleveland said as he do pull up's, as Lois and Meg come by with groceries.

"Hi, Cleveland. Will you be joining us for dinner?" Lois asking him if he is join them for dinner.

"Errrrrr." Cleveland growled in anger during his work out,

"Okay, then." Lois said as her notice Frank Jr and Tyler dress like Mickey Goldmill and with him near the door.

"He's a wrecking machine!" Mickey Goldmill said with Frank Jr and Tyler as they encouraging Cleveland Brown during his workout to fight Glenn Quagmire for having sex with Loretta Brown.

As Lois enter the kitchen with Meg to see Frank and Peter reading a newspaper.

"Peter, Frank, we have got to do something about Cleveland. I think you two created a monster. Lois said in worried.

"Well, there's only one thing to do, Mom." Frank said until Peter interrupts him

"We've got to get Loretta and Cleveland back together. And I know just how to do it. Quickly To the Hinden-Peter!" Peter shouted as the joke is repeated with the "Hindenpeter," which, like the German zeppelin Hindenburg disaster crashes into Joe's house.

Oh, my God! Joe, I am so sorry. Peter said his apology to Joe

"How can you afford these things?!" Joe shouted something which is met with from the scream.

As we join Frank as he explains his plan to Lois and Meg.

"We've got to get Loretta and Cleveland back together. And let them settle their differences!" Frank said as Lois and Meg both nodded in agreement.

Now we join quagmire who returns home and calls Cleveland to apologize.

"Yeah, Cleveland, this is Quagmire. Listen, I feeI awfuI. Why don't you come on over and we can try to get things back to the way they used to be? Remember how it was?" Quagmire said as he sets up a cutaway about him and Cleveland.

 **Cutaway**

We see Cleveland and Quagmire wearing funky clothing while they imitate the Festrunk brothers as they dance around a laundromat.

"Perhaps here there are many unsuspecting foxes... to have s*x with us" Quagmire said in pseudo-Czech accent.

"That is why we wear tight pants to show our bulges. We are…" Cleveland added in pseudo-Czech accent.

"Two wild and crazy guys!" the guys said in unison.

"You guys look stupid" Peter appeared as he dressed as Beldar from the Coneheads, another of Aykroyd SNL characters from that era.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to quagmire on the phone.

Anyway, let's talk this thing through. Quagmire said as he tries to apologize.

Until Cleveland appears at the house wielding a baseball bat.

Hey, Cleveland. I was just leaving you a message. Quagmire said as he tries to explain to him on the phone.

You violated the sanctity of my marriage. Cleveland said as he begins swinging the bat.

As Cleveland chases Quagmire around his house wielding a baseball bat, while Cleveland chasing him around the house, he knocked hiding place where quagmire has spear bed for future ladies he would sleep with around the house.

While quagmire was runs for his life he remember what Mayor West said about the banana.

"When the time comes, you'll know." Mayor West said threw a thought bubble.

Quagmire then threw the banana at Cleveland but it didn't work.

"Damn it!" Quagmire said as he ran outside until his trip on the lawn.

As Cleveland finally has Glenn at his mercy cowering on the lawn while Lois, John and Tyler ran outside to see the horror.

This is awfuI! Somebody stop them! Do something! Lois shouted in painic.

As Cleveland notice the panic looks of John, Tyler, Persephone, Meg, Chris, Lois holding Stewie and then Palpatine from Star Wars Episodes V and VI

" the hate flow through you." Palpatine said as he from Star Wars Episodes V and VI, urges Cleveland to "let the hatred flow through" him, which was exactly said by Emperor Palpatine to Luke Skywalker in Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi.

You're not helping! Lois said as she pushes him away

As Brian, Emily, Frank Jr, Maddie and Rosie appear to see the battle with Menma appear to talk to his adopted father.

"Dad, don't do this, it isn't in us to kill. No matter how much someone has harmed us." Menma said as Cleveland look into his boys eyes as it tells the truth.

"I can't do this. Menma my Boy, your right, It isn't in me to cause harm to anyone. No matter how much someone has harmed me." Cleveland said realizes that he is unable to hurt another living person, no matter how badly they have hurt him.

"I'm sorry, Cleveland." Quagmire apologies to him then ran away. As peter and Frank brought Loretta over.

"Cleveland, Menma, I think this beautiful woman would like to say something to you two." Peter said as he tricks Loretta into seeing Cleveland and Menma.

You told me this was Lois' intervention! Loretta said in anger.

Nice. Menma? Frank said as he passes her to Menma, his Brother by blood.

"Loretta, what you did was unforgivable. And don't you think that you're getting any of our cash because I went my lawyer, we are suing your ass also this marriage is over." Menma said as Loretta look shocked as to what happened.

"Well, that's just fine, Menma, also Cleveland, 'cause I am through being your wife." Loretta said as she feel piss off for losing money.

"Well, I may not be perfect, but we deserve better than you." Cleveland said as the couple angrily agree to divorce.

"Look at that, Guys. As beautiful as an HBO minority fairy tale." Frank said as everyone walks back to the house.

"But, Frank, their marriage is ending." Emily said as she feel that their story is over.

"Look at the bright side, Emily. It's a chance for a fresh start for both Cleveland and loretta…" Peter said until Peter and Frank gets kicked in the groins by the orange-haired host of Kicked in the Nuts,

"Oh, my God! What are you doing?" Emily said as the man laugh at their suffering.

"What's wrong with you?" Frank said in anger while holding his balls

"What the hell, man?" Peter said as he too is anger while holding his balls

"Hurts, doesn't it?" Man in a blue jump suit said.

"What the hell Yes! What the hell's your problem?" Peter said in question.

"My friends? My friends?" Man in a blue jump suit said as he puts his hand on both his victims.

"What?" Frank and Peter said out loud.

"You've been kicked in the nuts." Man in a blue jump suit said as his point them at the cameras.

"No way!" Peter said in shocked while the rest of the family look in awe.

"You're gonna be on TV." Man in a blue jump suit said to his fans.

"Oh, sweet!" Peter said in excitement.

"Oh, my God." Lois said as in a happy tone.

"Wow! We love that show." Frank said

"That is awesome." Emily said

"Hey, hi." Peter said as he waves to the camera.

"You're on it." Man in a blue jump suit said.

"Oh, wow." Peter said.

At Quagmire's residence, Cleveland and Quagmire apologize to each other and, at Glenn's insistence, take out their aggressions on each other in a boxing ring.

"Glenn, you sure you want to do this? I already told you I forgive you." Cleveland said.

"No, I feeI like I got off too easy." Quagmire said as he feel he got off easy.

"All right. If you insist." Cleveland said in agreement.

"You wanna ring the bell, Apollo? Quagmire said.

"All right. Ding, ding." Cleveland said as he rings the bell.

The ending scene where Cleveland and Quagmire face off in a boxing ring is a parody of the final scene of the 1982 sequel _Rocky III_ between Rocky Balboa and Apollo Creed.

 _It's the_

 _Eye of the tiger_

 _It's the strength of the fight_

 _Rising up to challenge all of rivals_

 **Chapter end**

 **I hope everyone enjoyed! This is thanking for pen123 and Family Guy Fan writer 15, Thank you all for cutaways, scenes, favoring, having me on alerts and with that. In addition, welcome Emily griffin to season 4. So enjoy and see you next chapter.**


	7. Chapter 56: Petarded

**Chapter 56: Petarded**

 **Narrator**  
 _Fresh out the net box  
Stop, look, and watch  
Ready yet, get set  
It's Family Guy!_

We see paparazzi taking photos of the cast as they come out of the limo and they walk on the red carpet.

 **Chorus:**  
 _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

First it show Frank waling out of the limo with a poster with the words "oh" and he poses for the camera.

Then its shows Meg comes in looking all sexy as she signs autographs while she winks at the fans.

Then it turn to Lois comes in hopping while grabbing rose as she gives a kiss toward the fans.

 **Chorus:**

 _Check it, check it, check it  
Now this is just an introduction  
Before I blow your mind  
The show is All of That and yes we do it all the time_

Then it shows Frank Jr poses as he pull his hat down his chest as he throws a rose to the Fans.

Then next person to show up on the carpet is Stewie. As he flips his hat back to his head while he give autographs to fans.

Then Brian comes in sliding on the red carpet as he waves at the fan as he walks in.

 **Chorus:**

 _So sit your booty on the floor or in a chair  
Ground or in the air  
Just don't go nowhere_

Then Emily comes in give autographs as she smiles at the fans as she tells one of her fans to call her.

Then the scene shows Persephone puts a rose on her mouth with a sexy angry look on her face.

 **Chorus:**

 _Cause everything we do  
It's all of that!  
When entertaining you  
We all of that!_

Then Chris shimming down the carp as he gives the fan a shout out.

Then Peter slide towards the carpet as he flips his hat back on his head.

 **Chorus:**

 _My posse and my crew  
It's all of that!  
So sit still cause we're coming right back_

Then the scene shows John throws a rose at his fans.

As the scene, changes to Tyler puts on rose his mouth as he gives everyone thumbs up.

 **Chorus:**

 _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

Then scene change to the Family Guy MC Cast walks down the stairs as they take a group photo while looking gangsters of the 80. All this while music ends as the scene fades to black.

One Month Later in Boston we join the Griffin couple in their apartment; Chris is sat in their apartment going through their piled up bills

"Hey, I'm starving. What the hell are you doing over there?" Chris said as he is angry for not getting his food.

"I'm carrying cancer! I'm cooking your Fucking steak! What do you think I'm doing?" Lana shouted at Chris.

"What do I think you're doing? I think you're bleeding us dry, is what I think you're doing." Chris as he pointing to a bill

"Look at this, look at this! A hundred and twenty-nine dollars at Filings Basement! What are you buying over there, Lana, gold bars?" Chris shouted as he complains about Lana's reckless shopping for stuff.

"I need clothes for work. All right, Chris!" Lana said as she needs clothes to look good.

"What do you mean? You wear a smock! You're a fucking cashier!" Chris shouted at land on why she need to look good.

"Yeah! So are you!" Lana said in anger as she points.

"Yeah, exactly and I'm not... I'm not going' out and buying' designer shit! I'm not going' into—." Chris said as he tries to explain that he is normal until Lana interrupts him.

"Oh, no, no, no, no! You're just buying' weed! You're just buying' drugs, you should fucking talk!" Lana said as she reveals that Chris buys weed now.

"I was talking'. I was just talking', just now, until you interrupted me." Chris said as he is trying to get a word in before he was interrupted by Lana.

"Well, I have to interrupt you or else I never get to fucking say anything!" Lana shouted at Chris for not getting to saying anything at all.

"Are you going to let me finish talking'?" Chris asked Lana in a calm tone.

"You're always cutting' me off!" Lana shouted in anger to get a word on their conversation.

"Are you going to let me finish talking'?" Chris asked Lana in a calm tone.

"You know what?" Lana said as she almost had it.

"Are you going to let me finish talking'?" Chris asked Lana in a calm tone.

"It's important to look good at work, okay? I'm trying to climb corporate fence here! Okay?" Lana said as she is trying to get promoted.

"People are not…! Nobody is in there to look at your ass. They're all there to buy…" Chris shouted that nobody is going to look at her.

"You know what? You're acting like an asshole!" Lana said as she shouted at Chris for being and asshole.

"Oh, what am I acting like?!" Chris asked her on what he is acting like.

You're acting like a fucking asshole! Lana said as she shouted at Chris for being and asshole.

"What am I acting like?!" Chris asking her again on what he is acting like now.

"Like an asshole! That's what you're acting like." Lana said her response to Chris question.

"You don't have to dress like Elizabeth Taylor to put a yam in a plastic bag." Chris said as he tells her that she looks like Elizabeth Taylor to put a yam in a plastic bag.

"I am the face of the business, okay?" Lana said as she is the face of the business.

"The face of business? Jesus Christ!" Chris said as he thinks that Lana is insane.

"Just get off my case, all right?!" Lana said to Chris to get off her case.

Listen to you, you're delusional! Chris said as he thinks that Lana is delusional.

"I should've married the bear, I really should've." Lana said as she rethinks her thoughts on married Chris and shout of married the bear.

"Fine! Fine! Go torture that asshole, wait he is dead!" Chris said as he uses sarcasm.

"He treated me good, and he had a bear dick! He had an awesome dick!" Lana said

"Oh, news flash, Quahog whore has seen a bear penis." Chris said as he made a fake report about her being a whore.

"What the fuck did you just call me? What did you just fucking call me…?" Lana said as she gets piss off by Chris response.

As suddenly Lana picks up the frying pan off the stove and throws it at Chris.

"Jesus fucking Christ?! What the fuck?!" Chris said as he dodge the frying pan.

"Are you gonna call me a whore?!" Lana asking him if he is going to call whore again.

As Lana throws the toaster at Chris, while Chris dodges it and he gets piss off.

"You wanna throw shit?" Chris said as he challenges her.

"Yeah, I wanna fucking throw shit!" Lana said as she agree to his challenge

"I'll fucking throw shit!" Chris said as he gets ready to fight with his wife.

As Chris starts throws a beer bottle at the wall smashing it.

"There! See? How do you like that?" Chris said as he gets more piss off.

As he then throws the table over and it didn't scared Lana.

"Oh! I'm so scared. I'm really fucking scared of you, little fucking pre-teen!" Lana said as she make fun of Chris for being a pre-teen until somebody interrupted them.

"Shut the fuck up!" Boston Neighbor said from outside.

"Oh, for Christ's sake!" Chris said as he walks toward the window

As Chris opens the window and shout down to the neighbor

"You shut the fuck up!" Chris shout at Boston Neighbor for interrupting his argument with his wife.

"Why do not you come down and make me, tough guy?" Boston Neighbor said as he challenge him to come over and make him.

Yeah, why don't you come up here and make me come down there, tough guy? Chris said as he challenge him back to come over and make him.

"I am gonna come up there and I'm gonna kick your fucking ass!" Boston Neighbor said as he threaten him to come down stairs and kick Chris's ass.

"I want you to try, asshole! Get your ass up here and kick my ass!" Chris said as he eggs him on.

Then suddenly, A Portuguese neighbor opens her window and shouts at the in Portuguese. Which piss off both Chris and his Boston neighbor.

"Shut the fuck up you stupid idiot!" Boston Neighbor said in anger.

As he directed to Portuguese neighbor and Chris join in.

"This is a classy neighborhood, people are trying to sleep!" Chris said as he complain to the Portuguese neighbor.

"Shut the fuck up!" Boston Neighbor said as he tells her to shut up.

As the Portuguese neighbor closes her window

"Hey, I'm really sorry!" Boston Neighbor said as His apologies to Chris

Yeah, me too. Chris said as his apologies too.

"She's worse than us." Boston Neighbor said as he thinks Portuguese neighbor is worse than them.

"Yeah, she's our enemy now." Chris said as he returns to inside his house and close the window.

Now back to the main story as we join The Griffins invite the neighbors over for game night.

"Peter, this game night was a great idea." Lois said as she hug him with proudness.

"Yeah, this will be a lot more fun than last Saturday... when we went to see The Vagina Monologues." Peter said as he set up a cutaway about monologues of a talking vagina?

 **Cutaway**

We see a pair of legs with a pair of women's pink underwear talking on the microphone.

"So, in international news, no luck yet finding Osama bin Laden. So the government is trying a new tactic. They've hired Jeff Gillooly" the legs spoke with a man's voice.

As the Audience member coughing and the rest didn't laugh at his joke.

"Gillooly" he added as a Man was clearing his throat.

"Sorry, I guess that joke was not so fresh, but you know…" the legs spoke the rest of his jokes.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join everyone playing twister with Mort controlling the spinner.

"Okay, Joe. Right foot, green." Mort Goldman said as he tells Joe to put his foot on the green spot on the mat.

"All right, let's do it!" Joe said as he puts his foot on the spot while Zeke cheer him on.

"Yes! Dad's the king!" Zeke shouted to everyone.

Now we join everyone at the dinner table playing the civil rights board game.

"Thanks for including my civil rights board game... in the game night rotation, guys." Cleveland said

"We're always happy to play Two Decades of Dignity." Lois said as she feel uncomfortable.

"It makes us all feel a little less guilty." Frank said as he too feel weird play this kind of game. As peter rolls the dice and moves his piece on the board and John pick his card.

"For whistling at a white woman, go directly to jail." John said as he read Peter's card to his disappointment.

"Man, does anyone ever win at this game?" Peter said in disappointed tone.

"You don't win. You just do a little better each time." Menma said in a Cleveland like tone.

As we join them at the living room wear paintball clothing and gloves.

"Okay, everybody, time for paintball." Peter said in excited tone until Brian realized something.

"I forgot to pick up the paintball guns." Brian said as both John and Tyler face palm themselves for not helping Brian remember.

Until zeke and Joe came to the group with a box.

"Well, we could use these. Me and Dad brought them from the office." Zeke said as everyone grabs a gun so they can play paintball with real guns.

Until Lois and Meg start to freak out.

"Peter, is it safe to be firing real guns at each other in the house?" Lois said as she examines her gun with Meg, then both Peter and Frank both shrugged.

"All right, all right, nobody fire at Lois. She's scared." Peter said as everyone agree to these terms.

"All right, one, two, three, go!" Frank said as everyone scatter around the living room and begin shooting each other.

As the Guns were firing, people were jumping and running around trying to win the game.

They aII exclaiming in happiness.

"Missed, you ass." Joe shouted off-screen as we see peter behind the couch, see his target, quagmire shoot some people. Then he shoots him in the leg which has hurt him.

"Aw, Damn it, Peter, that hurt." Quagmire said as he complains about his leg.

"Relax, Quagmire. You're doing better than Peter Weller from the opening scene of Robocop." Peter said as the scene change to Weller is being shot by Zeke, Rage, Joe, Menma, Negi, Cleveland and Mort.

Now we join everyone at the dinner room to play the last game of game night.

"Well, now that the mess is cleaned up and we're back from the emergency room..." Lois said as she drawn dramatic suspense.

"It's time for the last game of the night, Trivial Pursuit." Frank said as Peter whine that he hated this game.

"Man, I hate Trivial Pursuit. Always makes me feel so stupid." Peter said in disappointed tone.

"More stupid than that time you locked your keys out of the car?" Brian said as he sets up a cutaway about peter being stuck inside his car.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter locked inside his own car.

"Damn it! Hey! Hey! Somebody! Hey! Hey, sir! Sir, you see those keys there? Sir! Oh, screw you!" Peter shouted at the man, but he walks away.

Then Peter attempts to get the keys outside of the car with a hanger, but it fails miserably and he cries inside.

 **Cutaway Ends**

"All right, Brian, this one's for you." What naturally occurring element has the highest melting point of all metals?" Peter asked Brian his question.

"Cadmium?" Brian said his answer but peter bust him.

"Sorry, tungsten. Dumb ass. My turn. What do you got?" Peter asked Lois for his questions.

"Okay, here we go. What color is a fire truck?" Lois ask him an easy question.

"Oh, God, I always get these. Okay, all right, fire truck. Fire truck, fire truck, fire truck, fire truck, what color are those red fire trucks? Oh, God, I can picture them now, all red and everything." Peter said as he think about the answer until he said at random.

"That's right, Peter, they are red." Lois said as Frank bumps her shoulder to get her attention.

Mom, what are you doing? Frank asked her on give Peter easy question.

"I switched Peter's questions to the pre-school edition. Just to let him have his moment." Lois Whispering as she gives Peter the Pre-School Edition questions to let him have his moment.

"I don't think this is a good idea Mrs. Griffin?" John said as he disagrees with her.

"I have to be with J-man on this one." Tyler said in agreement.

"Good thing I just watched that National Geographic special on fire trucks." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about fire trunks in National Geographic.

 **Cutaway**

The scene shifts to a jungle.

"A solitary killer, the firetruck stalks its prey" someone narrates as a firetruck spies on the elk that are eating grass, but then chases them and hits one with the ladder, which eventually kills it.

"The fire truck can consume eight times its body weight" more narration as ambulances arrived.

As the fire truck Horn blaring the ambulances to back off.

"The ambulances will have to wait their turn" narration continues.

 **Cutaway Ends**

"Okay, Brian, "Name the 16th century ecumenical body... That marked a major turning point for Christianity in Europe." Peter asked him his question.

"I think that was the Council of Trent." Brian said his answer but got busted by peter.

"You could not be more wrong. The answer is Phyllis Diller." Peter said as he tell his answer.

"Peter, you're reading the pink…" Brian said as he tries to tell the truth to him but peter didn't listen.

"My turn." Peter said as he asked for his turn.

"Okay, Peter, this is for the win. Say the word 'what." Lois said her question.

"Wow. Okay. This really separates the men from the boys." Peter said as he feel trouble.

"Peter, just say what." Lois said as she tells him the answer but he didn't listen.

"Yeah, yeah. Yeah, now, Lois. This is not a race. Okay, I wanna say "who." Oh, boy. Fantastic Four. Fantastic Four, steak, steak, steak, steak, a small amount of peas. Is it what?" Peter said his answer at random.

"That's right. You win, Peter. You did it." Lois said as she congratulates him for winning.

"Oh, my God! I won. I won!" Peter said shouted in victory as the rest of the family roll their eyes except Chris.

"My dad's smarter than your dad." Chris said as he tells the twin while they roll their eyes.

"We have the same dad, idiot." Persephone said as she tells him that they share the same father but Chris didn't listen.

"Yeah, but mine's smarter." Chris said his answer which made Frank face palm himself.

"What a feeling. This is even better than that time I met Timer the Cheese Guy." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about Peter meeting Timer the cheese guy.

 **Cutaway**

Timer the Cheese Guy performs and dances around his apartment.

 **Timer the Cheese Guy**

 _I hanker for a hunk of_

 _A slab or slice or chunk of_

 _I hanker for a hunk of cheese_

 _When your get-up-and-go has got up and went_

Until he is interrupted by a knock on the door. Peter Griffin, clad in a bathrobe, expresses his annoyance at Timer's behavior

"Howdy, pardner." Timer the Cheese Guy said hello to Peter.

"Pardon me, sir. I live next door. It is 3:30 in the morning. I am very tired" Peter said as he arrived wearing a blue bathrobe, he tells him that it is 3:30 a.m.

"Look, a wagon wheel" Timer pointed.

"What the hell is your problem?" Peter demanded.

"I just smoked a whole bunch of crack" Timer answered.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we are back as everyone leave while Peter brags to them.

Good night, losers. Peter

Well, game night was a success. Peter said with a smug look.

Grandpa, you do know that all your questions were incredibly easy. Frank Jr

Yeah, easy for me. Good night, morons. Peter

As Frank heard a ring of his cell phone answer it, then he told Lois he be out for Night with a Friend in Boston. While Frank goes to Boston, we join Brian and Frank Jr sitting with Lois on the couch in the living room.

"You ever stop and think, Wow, I'm married to that guy?" Brian

"No, I just repress it." Lois said her answer

"Is that healthy?" Frank Jr asked her as he question his grandma's health?

"What's the worst that could happen?" Lois said as we see inside Lois Brain That a tumor was developed from Lois's repression of her aggravation caused by her husband Peter's stupidity. The tumor, whose voice is Peter's, began singing the song soon after.

 **Peter tumor**

 _I'm a tumor, I'm a tumor, I'm a tumor_

 _I'm a tumor, I'm a tumor, I'm a tumor_

 _I'm a tumor, I'm a tumor, I'm a tumor_

 _Oh, Oh, Oh I'm a tumor_

As we join the real Chris is at the bar drinking with Frank and John

"You guys at least tried marriage therapy?" John said as he dinks his root beer.

"Oh, God. Yeah, it was a freaking disaster. Two hundred and fifty dollars and we didn't learn a Goddamn thing." Chris said as he feels that he failed.

"Two-fifty? Due, that's ridiculous. I mean, doesn't your insurance cover that or something?" Frank asked Chris if he gotten any insurance?

"No, Lana tried to sign up for health Care on the internet, but I came back five minutes later, she was looking at black cocks." Chris said as he tells them what happen when researching online.

"It seems like every time you go online you're two clicks away from black cocks. Look, see?" John said as he takes out his phone.

"I googled Grand Canyon. Here. Look, it says, did you mean black cocks?" John said as he shows them black cocks on his phone.

"I don't know, man, I gotta do something or my marriage is gonna collapse." Chris said as he worries about his marriage.

"Here you go, guys." Allison said.

As she brings them their drinks and pass them.

"We're gonna be closing in a few minutes. I'm going to this after hour's thing at my friend's apartment if you want to join?" Allison said as she asked John out.

"Oh, thanks, Allison, but I got an early day in quahog tomorrow." John said as he doesn't live here in Boston.

"Oh. Okay. Well, if you change your mind, here's the address." Allison said.

As she writes it down on a napkin and pass it to John.

"I put my cell number on there too." Allison said as she explain what she wrote on the napkin.

Then she turns and walks away, while John throw it away and it piss off both Frank and Chris.

"Oh, my God! Are you fucking kidding me?" Frank shouted at John for what he did.

"What?" John said in response as he feel that he is in trouble.

"What do you mean what? After hours? Jeez, J-man, she totally wants to sleep with you!" Frank said as he explain to John that Allison want to fuck him.

"I'm not into it." John said his response until Chris buts in.

"John, you've been saying that for over a month and a half about every chick that throws herself at you. You gotta get back in the game, man!" Chris said as he tells john to get over himself ad get back in the game.

"No, don't start this shit. Alright? Look, I wasted six months of my life with the wrong girl and got burned. I'm not gonna make that mistake again." John said in disgust.

"Jesus, J-man. You're not gonna marry Allison, you're just gonna bang her, and maybe pee a little in her butt." Frank said as he say something nasty which cause John to respond.

"What?" John said in question until Chris explain it to him.

"It's always good to find new ways to surprise your lover." Chris said as It's good to find new ways to surprise your lover.

"Yeah, I gotta take a leak." John said to that conversation.

As John rises and walks off to the restroom to pee.

"Sorry, Allison. I tried." Frank said as Allison walk back while he apologies to her for not hooking her up with john.

"Oh, it's okay. I just wish he wasn't so Goddamn cute." Allison said as she drools abouy John being cute.

"Yeah. Hey, can we get a Jack Daniels with just a splash of Gray Goose?" Chris asked her for booze to go.

"Wish I could help you, but we're closing." Allison said as the bar is closing.

"Come on. One drink and I promise I won't tell anybody that Jay Leno comes in here for gay bathroom sex." Frank said as his promise that he won't tell anybody that Jay Leno comes in here for gay bathroom sex.

As we hear John shouting from the bathroom

"Hey, what the fuck are you doing? Get off me!" John said as he kick somebody out of the men's bathroom.

As Jay Leno walks out of the bathroom all beat up.

"Sorry! It's my mistake." Jay Leno said as he walks away.

Meanwhile at the grocery store, we join to see Liam Neeson stops at Chris's counter to buy Trix cereal.

"Hey." Liam Neeson said hello to Chris.

"Hello." Chris said hello back to Liam.

"I'd, uh…like to ask a few questions about this breakfast cereal." Liam Neeson asked Chris about the cereal that he is buying.

"Uh, yeah, yeah. Box of Trix." Chris said as he notice that Liam Neeson is buy Trix.

"That's right. I've been led to understand that Trix are exclusively for children, is that correct?" Liam Neeson asking Chris if Trix are exclusively for children.

"Well, I mean they say, uh…Trix are for kids in the commercials." Chris said his answer to him.

"Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And is that enforced by law?" Liam Neeson asked him if the Trix slogan is enforced by law.

"Uh, not to my knowledge, no." Chris said his answer.

"So if I purchases these Trix there'll be no trouble?" Liam Neeson asked Chris as he passes the box of Trix to him while buy it.

"No, no, you should be fine." Chris said his answer as he charger it to his prize of the Trix.

"You do understand that I myself am not a child?" Liam Neeson said as he tells Chris that he is not a child.

"I…I was able to sniff that out, yeah." Chris said his answer.

"Okay, I'm gonna bring these back to my apartment." Liam Neeson said to Chris that he is leaving the store.

"Uh, yeah, yeah. You'll…you'll be okay." Chris said his answer.

"And, uh…I won't be followed?" Liam Neeson said as he wouldn't be followed by kids for the Trix.

"Uh, no. That's…that's not in our budget here." Chris said as he passes the Trix to Liam Neeson.

As Liam Neeson puts the money on the counter

"Hey, I won't forget what you've done for me here today." Liam Neeson said as he will not forget what Chris done for him here today.

"I would prefer that you do." Chris said as he hope this conversation is over.

As Liam Neeson hides the cereal box under his jacket and walks off.

"Jesus Christ!" Chris said while he was alone.

As Chris's co-worker, Joy, notices that Lana is not talking to Chris. So she asked him.

"You two still not talking?" Joy asked Chris on what's going on.

"No. Honest to God, Joy, I don't know how to fix this. I mean, how the hell do you take a broken marriage and make it work again?" Chris said as he explain what happen for the last week and he doesn't know what to do.

"Well, I tell you one way. You have yourselves a baby." Joy said to Chris that he should have a baby with Lana.

"A baby?" Chris said in question.

"Uh-huh! Look at that. You see them two white niggers over there?" Joy said as she point him to a white couple with a baby.

As Chris turns to look at the couple in the store holding their baby.

"Yeah, what?" Chris said in question on what she going with this.

"Look at 'em, they're so happy. Because they got that little baby keeping them together. If they didn't have that baby, they'd just be two sad ass white niggers waiting for Downton Abby to come home." Joy said as she explain that having a baby with fix his marriage.

"White, you said it twice. Is that an actual phrase or…?" Chris asked her on white again until she interrupts him.

"I'm telling you Chris, y'all better have a baby or your marriage is over. Trust me. Joy said as they went back to work as Chris but a lot a thought about what Joy said.

Now we join Chris as he goes to see Lana in the stock room.

Uh, hey. Chris said hi to his wife.

Go away Chris. Lana said as she doesn't want to deal with him.

"Lana, listen, I just want to talk to you. Okay? Will you just listen to me for one second?" Chris asked her to listen for one second.

"Why? So you can give me shit about my clothes?" Lana said if he going to insult her clothes again.

"No! Look, I'm sorry about that, okay? I'm sorry, I was an asshole and I didn't mean it." Chris said as he apologies about what he said.

"You know, whatever, Chris." Lana said as she turn around.

"Lana, listen. I love you. Okay? And…and I don't want us to fight like we've been doing the past few months." Chris said that he doesn't want themselves to fight.

"I don't know, Chris. I mean, something got to change. You know? Because I can't do this no more. It's too much." Lana said as she can't take it anymore.

"I know, I know. And that's why I want to have a baby." Chris asked her to make a baby with him.

"You do?" Lana said in surprising tone.

"Yeah." Chris said his response as Lane begin to jump for joy.

"A baby? Like really?" Lana said if he is serious.

"Yeah! See I think if we got a kid to love, it'll teach us how to love each other again." Chris said that the baby will teach them to love again.

"Oh, my God, Chris. You better not be messing with me." Lana said as she cries and asking him to better not be messing with her.

"I swear to God, I'm not messing with you. I think you'll make an awesome mom." Chris said as they will be awesome parents.

"Oh, my God. Are you kidding me? I would kick so much ass in being a Mom." Lana said as she brags about being a good mom.

"So what do you say, we all good?" Chris asked her that they are good.

"Yes! Ah, I love you! I love you so much!" Lana said as she hug him for the answer.

"Oh, baby! I love you too!" Chris said as he hug his wife.

As Lana kisses Chris on the lips. She begins to get wet down stairs.

"Let's make a baby!" Lana said in a sexy tone.

"Let's make a baby!" Chris said as he begun to take his shirt off and placed his hat on the table.

As Lana began to take her shoes off, her leg stockings, followed by her skirt and her blouse until she was in her white bra and panty and Chris was in his blue boxers.

Then Chris then scooched over to Lana and placed his lips on hers and started making out.

The couple had their tongues dueling for control but thanks to his experiences Chris's won and he pushed Lana down on the couch and got on top of her.

The two continued to make out for a while until the primal urges awaken inside of them.

As Chris got up and took his boxers off revealing his long rod to Lana.

"Holy Crap! Chris, I love that cock" Lana said.

"Think you can handle it?" Chris said.

"Let's find out." Lana said.

As She then slid her panties off leaving her pussy exposed and took off her bra and was left naked, she then stood before Chris and guided his rod in her until it was completely inside her.

"Whoa Chris you're still huge." Lana said surprised.

"I'm full of surprises." Chris said.

"Let's have some fun then." Lana said as she started moving her hips.

As Lana had to get adjusted to Chris's rod, she start moving again.

Then Chris just laid back as Lana moved by herself moving up and down on his rod and placed her hands on his chest to steady herself.  
"Oh god! This is amazing Chris! I've never felt anything like it before." Lana said between breaths.

"Yeah it is, now to kick it up a notch." He said, he puts his hands on her hips and began pumping her as well.

Lana was feeling great and so was Chris, the two were enjoying having sex and they seem to earn their trust back and more and never regret it.

 **2 hours later.**

As Chris was screwing Lana on the table doggy-style and was grabbing her breasts while pumping her it was fun but both were nearing their limit.

"Lana I'm coming." Chris said as he is about to blow into her.

"Me too Chris." Lana replied as she about to cum as well.

The two went faster and faster and then they came, Chris held Lana close as he unloads his load in her and the two stay as one, after that they pulled back and kiss.

As their boss, Frank come in the back to see them fucking near the frozen tomatoes.

"Lemme know when you're ready to go, and I'll stick a bottle of Newman's Own in ya. All the profits go to charity." Chris said as he continued to plow his wife on the food.

We join Chris at Frank's desk

"You had sexual intercourse on a pile of raw hamburger meat that we're supposed to sell to the public for their Fourth of July barbecues." Frank asked Chris fucking his wife on a pile of raw hamburger meat.

"I fucked her with a pack of Freedent inside her ass. Then I put it back on the shelf and a senior citizen bought it." Chris said insult for his boss, he can learn not to watch him plow his wife.

"That took guts. We need guts. I'm naming the store after you." Frank said as he promotes him again.

As we join Peter watching a debate on his TV in the living room.

"The administration's plan for peace in the Middle East is shallow and pedantic." Commentator 1 said to Commentator 2.

"I agree. Shallow and pedantic." Commentator 2 responded his answer to Commentator 1.

Now back to peter with is response for watching the debate.

"I agree as well. Shallow and pedantic." Peter said as he agrees with Commentator 1 and 2.

Now we join the family at the dinner table as peter tastes his food.

"Hmm!" Peter hums about the foods taste.

"Everything all right. Peter?" Lois asked her husband.

"Well, Lois, since you asked, I find this meatloaf rather shallow and pedantic." Peter said that he starts talking down to her about her food.

As both Frank, John, Tyler Brian can't take it

"What is this, you're gonna talk down to everyone...just because you won a game of Trivial Pursuit?" John asked him on his behavior.

Perhaps. Peter said his response which piss of Tyler.

"Okay, you know what? Fine, you are a genius, Mr. Griffin. Tyler said as Brian took the turn to speak to peter.

"As a matter of fact, let's make it official." Brian said as Frank said the rest.

"You ever heard of the MacArthur genius grant?" Frank asked him about the MacArthur genius grant.

"Perhaps." Peter said his response.

"Well, if you qualify as a genius, the Foundation will give you a $500,000 grant just to sit around and do whatever you want." Frank said as he challenges Peter to apply for the MacArthur Genius Grant to prove he is in fact a genius.

"Wow! Imagine what a genius like me could do with all that money." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about him using that money.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter wearing a long purple feathered coat and hat as Cloris Leachman is next to him.

"All right, Cloris Leachman, I've bought you legally. Now juggle these beanbags" Peter ordered as he gave her beanbags.

"I don't know how to juggle…" Cloris argued.

"God help you, Cloris! Juggle the bean bags!" Peter shouted.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Huh that's weird? Frank Jr said as he thinks he should join him to see if he is a genius too.

Now we join the MacArthur testing facility with Frank Jr and Peter with a bunch of random people to take the test.

You may begin your exam now. The teacher said as the student begin their test as Frank Jr finished easily while he notice his grandpa that Instead of a calculator at his MacArthur grant test, he has a See 'n' Say, an educational toy for young children.

As Peter pulls the lever for an answer.

"A dog says... woof!" See 'n' Say said as he made Dog barking noise.

As peter wrote his answer, he then pulls the lever again.

"A cow says... mooo!" See 'n' Say said as he made Cow mooing noise.

Of course, of course. Peter said as he writes his answer on paper.

Now we are back at the Mallque/Griffin house as Peter get the mail.

"Well, here they are, Brian. My test results. Read them and weep." Peter said as the test results come back to.

As Frank walks with Frank Jr test results to his son room, Brain give Peter the bad news.

"Peter, according to this, you're not a genius. In fact, you're mentally retarded." Brian said as the results turns out that Peter is actually mentally retarded.

Now we join Frank at his son's room, as he reading the results.

"Frank Jr, according to this, you're a genius. In fact, you're the smartest person in quahog." Frank said as he read his son results in his room.

"Wow, so I'm genius, cool!" Frank Jr said as he starts working on his hover border while Stewie look in awe of his genius nephew.

Now back to the living room with Peter and Brian.

"Oh, yeah? Well, would a mentally retarded guy... have hired a bulldozer with a drunk driver to level half of his house... in celebration of his fantastic test results?" Peter said his response.

"Maybe." Brian said yes to the question as he know that peter is retarded.

"Uh-oh." Peter said in panic as say mentally retarded guy was on his bulldozer while drunk driving to level half of his house.

"Congratulations." The Mentally retarded guy said as he passes out on the floor as John and Tyler walk by.

"Clean up on aisle 10!" Tyler said as his dress up a mart employee.

Now we join Peter, Lois and Frank at the Rhode Island state office of mental health. As the doctor shows Peter where his test results place him in terms of intelligence.

So, as you can see, you are just over the line of mental retardation. The doctor said as His chart shows "Retarded" below "Average", but above "Creationist". The scene is a reference to a similar scene in Forrest Gump.

Don't you mean, just under the line? Peter said as he piss off the doct6or while his is smoking.

"The day I'm corrected by a... I'm sorry. Just please trust the analysis." The doctor

"Hello Sally, h-hey it's Peter Griffin. Yeah, that's right, senior prom, yeah it's been a while...so listen, um, I just found out that I'm retarded and um, I'm just calling to let you know that uh, you might want to get yourself tested. ...Hello?" Peter said on the phone

"Peter, mental retardation usually happens before you're born. It isn't something you can catch. Don't you think you're overreacting?" Lois said as she tells him it's not such a big deal.

"Well, excuse me for being retarded. My whole world has been turned upside down, black is east, up is white." Peter said as he sits down on the table.

"Uh, Peter I don't want to say "we told you so" for not being a genius, but...uhh, I'll let these guys do it." Frank said as both Brian, John and Tyler got close to peter face.

"YEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! IN YOUR FUCKING FACE, FUCKWAD!" Brian, John and Tyler shouted at peter face as they rub it in his face for being wrong for once until Brian feel guilty after see peter face.

"... I'm...I'm sorry..." Brian said as his apologies for what he did.

"I can't believe this is happening to me. I can never go back to school again." Persephone and Meg said in panic for what they have learn. Until Stewie butts in to rebutted.

"Oh, yes, Girls, yes. Yes, everything was going swimmingly for you until this. Yes, this is the thing that will ruin your reputation. Not you're years of grotesque appearance or awkward social graces... or that Felix Unger-ish way you clear your sinuses. No, no, no, it's this. Do you hear yourself talk? I might kill you tonight." Stewie said as he compares the way Meg and Persephone clears her sinuses to that of The Odd Couple character Felix Unger.

Until Frank Jr bitch slaps him on the floor.

"Silences, small brain. I'm smartest around here!" Frank Jr said as he fly's away in his jet pack, while everyone is trying to process on what Frank Jr just did.

"Pop, you're still you. No piece of paper from the city is gonna tell me or the family... you're any different from the man that Lois has married. And your life's not gonna change because of it." Frank said as he tells him that everything going to be okay.

Until they hear Clanking outside.

"What is that?" Peter asked his family on the noise outside.

As we see two construction works putting up a sight which reads, "Caution special dad!" with a picture of peter chasing a red ball.

"Oh, my God, what are they doing? Why are they trying to publicly humiliate me like this? I mean, what's the purpose..." Peter said in shocked until his notice a Shiny red ball.

"Ooh, Shiny red ball." Peter said as he chase the ball down the street.

"Peter, watch out!" Lois shouted at him until two cars crash into each other.

Now we join Peter at Joe's house, asking for advice on something.

"So, what can I do for you Peter?" Joe asked his friend on what he can help him with today.

"Well Joe, I need to talk to you about something kind of personal." Peter asked Joe on his personal issues.

"Shoot. Joe tells peter to ask away.

"Well, you know, I took this test and, uh, it sorta turns out that I'm technically mentally retarded. And, um, i just wanted to ask, ya know, how do you deal with it?" Peter asked Joe on how he deal with problem on being retarded.

"Deal with what?" Joe asked peter on what he is dealing with?

"You know, with being retarded." Peter said as he thinks Joe is retarded like him.

"Peter, I'm not retarded, I'm handicapped." Joe said as he is not retarded.

Oh, well now you're just splitting hairs. Peter:

As we see Joe going to call Cleveland as they parody of "The Telephone Hour" from Bye Bye Birdie.

 **Joe Swanson**

 _Hi Cleveland_

 **Cleveland Brown**

 _Hi Joseph. What's the story, morning glory? What's the word, humming bird?_

 **Joe Swanson**

 _Have you heard Peter Griffin is slow?_

 **Mariel**

 _Hi, Connie!_

 **Connie**

 _Hi, Mariel!_

 **Mariel**

 _What's the story, morning glory?_

 **Connie**

 _What's the word, humming bird?_

 **Crowd 1:**

 _Have you heard Peter Griffin is slow?_

 **Crowd 1**

 _Can he still drive a car?_

 **John and Tyler**

 _Yeah, yeah!_

 **Crowd 1**

 _Can he drink at a bar?_

 **John and Tyler**

 _Ah huh?_

 **Crowd 1:**

 _Will they let him have kids?_

 **John and Tyler:**

 _He is doom!_

 **Crowd 1:**

 _Is his life on the skids?_

 **Quagmire:**

 _Hello Mrs. Griffin, it's your neighbor Quagmire, now that Peter's mental, you probably have some needs, OH!_

 **Frank Jr**

 _Is it true about Grandpas?_

 **Quagmire:**

 _Junior!_

 **Frank Jr:**

 _I just knew it somehow_

 **Quagmire:**

 _About Your grandma..._

 **Frank Jr** _ **:**_

 _I must call him right up!_

 **Quagmire:**

 _Saturday?_

 **Frank Jr:**

 _I can't talk to you now!_

 **Crowd 2:**

 _He's Retarded!_

 **Crowd 3:**

 _You know it_

 **Crowd 2:**

 _He's Retarded!_

 **Crowd 3:**

 _Man, it's crazy, man!_

 **Crowd 2:**

 _He's Retarded!_

 **Crowd 3:**

 _You know it,_

 **Meg:**

 _He won't last!_

 **Persephone:**

 _Not at all!_

 **Emily:**

 _He's too dumb!_

 **Maddie and Rosie:**

 _Everyone in town is too smart!_

 **Quagmire:**

 _Hello, Meg Griffin, it's your neighbor Quagmire, now that Peter's mental, your Mom has probably have some needs, OH!?_

 **John and Tyler:**

 _Hiya Peter!_

 _Are ya stupid?_

 _Whatcha' wanna go get pinned for?_

 _Well, we heard that you got pinned,_

 **Peter:**

 _I were hopin' i would_

 **John and Tyler:**

 _Lost your marbles!_

 **Peter**

 _Now I'm living' for lest at last_

 **John and Tyler:**

 _Are you nutty?_

 **Crowd 2:**

 _He's Retarded!_

 **Quagmire:**

 _Hello, Emily Griffin, is Lois home from shopping yet?_

 **Crowd 3:**

 _Did you know he really get pinned?_

 **Crowd 2:**

 _He's Retarded!_

 **Crowd 3:**

 _We were hoping' he would_

 **Crowd 2:**

He's Retarded!

 **Crowd 3:**

 _Now he living for lest at last_

 **Crowd 2 and Crowd 3:**

 _He's Retarded for good!_

 **Menma:**

 _If you gotta go, that's the way to go, When they got you hooked, Then you're really cooked,_

 **Crowd 4:**

 _Oooooweooo_

 **Menma:**

 _Whatcha gonna do?_

 **Crowd 4:**

 _Ohoooohho_

 **Menma:**

 _Whatcha gonna do?_

 **Crowd 4:**

 _Dodododo_

 **Crowd 2:**

 _Well, I heard he got pinned!_

 **Crowd 3:**

 _Oh no!_

 **Crowd 2** **:**

 _I was thinking he would!_

 **Crowd 3:**

 _Oh no!_

 **Crowd 2:**

 _Now he living' for lest at last!_

 **Crowd 3:**

 _He's Retarded for good!_

 **Crowd 2:**

 _He's Retarded, He's Retarded, He's Retarded,_

 **Crowd 3:**

 _He's Retarded for good!_

 **Crowd 2:**

 _He's Retarded, He's Retarded, He's Retarded,_

 **Crowd 3:**

 _He's Retarded for good_

 **John:**

 _He's in love with Lois,_

 **Tyler:**

 _Lois's in love with him!_

 **Crowd 2:**

 _He's Retarded, He's Retarded, He's Retarded!_

 **Crowd 3:**

 _Well, well, oh oh oh Well, well, oh oh oh_

 **Crowd 2:**

 _That's the way it should be!_

 **Crowd 3:**

 _Oh yeah!_

 **Crowd 2:**

 _He'll be happy, I know!_

 **Crowd 4:**

 _Oh well!_

 **Crowd 2:**

 _He's Retarded for me._

 **Crowd 3:**

 _That's the way it should go!_

 **Crowd 2:**

 _He's Retarded, He's Retarded, He's Retarded,_

 **Crowd 3:**

 _He's retarded for good_

 **Crowd 2:**

 _He's Retarded, He's Retarded,_

 **Crowd 2 and Crowd 3:**

 _Peter is...SLOW_

Now we join the griffin couple with Frank and Meg at a fancy restaurant.

"Griffin. Party of two." Peter said to the usher about his table.

"Mr. Griffin, we've been expecting you." the usher said as he leads them to their table.

Now we join the couple eating their fancy dinners.

"Peter, relax. It's for liability reasons. Now, let's just try to enjoy our meal." Lois said as she is trying to calm down peter as the scene show him wearing a helmet and water wings.

"I kind of get the helmet. But what's with the water wings?" Peter question as to why he has water wings.

"Well, you did order the soup, Dad." Meg said as she see Frank eating while he watches out for peter.

"Like something could happen... Get me out!" Peter shouted as he is drowning in his soup until Frank fished him out.

"These water wings didn't help at all." Peter said in tears as they leave the restaurant.

Now we join Frank, Meg, Peter and Lois driving home while Peter is crying and driving.

"This is the worst day of my life." Peter said as he water wings didn't help him out and he declares it is the worst day of his life.

"Now, there are plenty of people who have had worse days." Lois reassures him by telling him others have had worse. As she sets up a cutaway about someone having a bad day.

 **Cutaway**

The scene shifts to Japan, where the words reads Hiroshima, Japan August 6, 1945. A Japanese man arrived after finding a parking ticket in his car.

"A parking ticket. I was gone five minutes" he said right before a car drove past by him and splashed him with mud.

"How could this day get any worse?" he wondered after a wild animal falls to the ground.

"Oh my God!" he panicked as the animal viciously attacks him and he screams.

 **Cutaway Ends**

"I wish I could just close my eyes and make all this go away." Peter to himself about ending this day.

"Peter, look out!" Lois said as Peter accidentally runs over Tom Tucker.

"Holy crap!" Peter said as they all got out of the car to check on him.

"Oh, my God! Mr. Tucker, are you all right?" Frank said with a concern tone.

"Do I look like I'm all right? My back is broken and my leg is twisted!" Tom Tucker said as he is really mad on what has happened to him.

"Oh, my God! Your hooker's dead." Meg said as she points at the dead hooker next to Tom Tucker.

"Well, she was already dead, but that doesn't excuse... Wait a minute. You're Peter Griffin, the retarded fellow. "Tom Tucker said as he brush off on his dead hooker as he is still mad until he sees that it's Peter, the retarded fellow, who ran him over.

"Yeah." Peter said in question on to why.

"Well, then don't worry about it." Tom Tucker said as he lets him go without calling the police.

"Wait a minute. You mean you're not even gonna call the cops? Oh, my God. I could get away with anything." Peter said as he realizes that being retarded means he can get away with all kinds of inappropriate behavior.

Now we join the Mallque/Griffin family at church as the priest was saying a verse from the book of the lord.

"And on the sixth day, God said, Let the Earth bring forth the living creatures and..." the priest said his verse until Peter interrupt him.

"BIBLE FIGHT!" Peter said as he hits people with bibles until Frank Jr knocks him out with said bible.

As Frank realized that Peter is quickly takes advantage of his newfound power.

Now we join Peter and Frank Jr at the women restroom, as peter kicking door open in restroom with Woman 1 screaming

"Sorry. Retarded." Frank Jr said as he explain to the women that his grandpa is retarded.

"That's okay then." Woman 1 said as she accepts his answer.

Then peter kicking door open in restroom with Woman 2 screaming.

"He doesn't know any better." Frank Jr said as he explain to the women that his grandpa is retarded

"Bless your heart." Woman 2 said as she thanks Frank Jr for making he understand the situation.

And finally peter kicking the final door with Woman 3 screaming.

"Jeez, didn't you hear me a second ago? He's retarded." Frank Jr said as he tells women 3 about his grandpa being retarded.

"You both are just curious. Well, let me show you how everything works down there." Woman 3 said as she explain about her women part which mad them both go wide eye.

Now we join the Mallque/Griffin family at the dinner table eating until Peter come in with a new friend.

"Hey, everyone. Say hello to my state-appointed inspirational social worker, Vern." Peter said as he introduce Vern to everybody.

"It's truly a pleasure to meet you all. Hey, Peter, looks like you've got yourself one super family. High five! All right!" Vern said as they high five each other and Peter laughs.

"So, Vern, what exactly is it that you do?" Lois asked Vern on what he does

"I'm here to lend a hand to my main man, Peter. Right, Peter?" Vern said as he talk to peter

"Right." Peter said with confidents.

"High five! All right!" Vern said as they high five each other and Peter laughs.

As peter eats his food like a pig and then smash the plate threw the wall.

"Done." Peter said which piss off Lois and Frank.

"Peter!" Lois shouted at him for doing that.

"What? I don't know any better." Peter said in a confused tone.

"Pops, Me and mom don't like this. You are really starting to take advantage of this whole situation." Frank said as he tells peter that the family don't appreciate his behavior.

"Peter's just expressing himself. High five for expressing yourself, Peter. High five! All right!" Vern said as they high five each other and Peter laughs.

Now we turn to Brian, Stewie, John, Tyler and Frank Jr side of the table talking.

"This man seems bent on diluting the already watered-down significance... of the elevated hand slap." Stewie said as he complain about the miss use of the high five with Emily, John and Tyler agreement.

"Hey, Stewie, high five." Frank Jr said as he offers him a hive five.

"Well, it's about time." Stewie said as they about to hive five until, Frank Jr Trick him.

"Psych." Frank Jr said as he passes his hand threw his hair.

"Damn! I look even more foolish than when I was at that cocktail party." Stewie said as he set up a cutaway about himself at a cocktail party.

 **Cutaway**

The scene shifts to a cocktail party, with Stewie wearing a tuxedo talking to people.

"All right, you're gonna love this. So... Hang on a sec" Stewie said as he goes outside, then crosses the street, past the farm, past the beach, then returns back to the party.

"Okay, so these two black guys walk into a bar, and the bartender looks…" Stewie gets interrupted.

"Hey, what are you guys talking about?" a black man appeared from a plant.

"I was just telling a joke. So, the bartender looks around and says: "What'll you two fine gentlemen have?" And they paid their tab and couldn't have been more courteous" Stewie said.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join the family at a fast-food restaurant as peter begins his mayhem.

"All right, my first trip to a fast-food joint as a retarded guy." Peter said as he runs toward the concession stand.

"Excuse me, pardon me, coming through. Coming through special needs! I'll have a...oh is this on?!" Peter said as he arrives toward the clerk.

As he Grabs microphone and talks in it.

"Attention all restaurant customers. Testicles. That is all." Peter said as he say testicles toward the people in the restaurant, which piss off Lois.

"Gimme that!" Lois said in anger.

As she Grabs microphone and talks in it

"Sorry ladies and gentlemen! Oh my God, is that my voice? God, it's all whiny and nasally and... egh." Lois said as she notice her voice sounds all whiny and nasally.

"You know what? I'm just gonna get my own food." Peter said as he went to the back of the restaurant to get his food with Frank Jr following him.

"Grandpa, get back here. Frank Jr said as he chase Peter in the back.

"No freaking way. The fryolator. I am so taking this." Peter said as he trying to steal a deep-fryer from a fast-food restaurant.

Until Peter accidently pours hot grease all over Lois as she screaming in pain. While Frank Jr looks in horror and Peter looks in awe on what they have saw.

"Lois, you look worse than that Rocky Dennis kid from Mask." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about Rocky Dennis kid from Mask.

 **Cutaway**

The scene shifts to a scene from Mask.

"Rocky, I don't even know what you look like. Can I touch your face?" the blonde woman asked.

"Of course, Diana" Rocky Dennis agreed as the woman touched his face.

"Oh, God. Oh, God. What is this? What is all this? Am I touching the outside of a house? Oh, God! You're a monster" the woman argued.

"I'm beautiful on the inside" Rocky argued.

"Yeah, but, Rocky, there's a limit. What is this now? Does your face have a pelvis?" she asked.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Meanwhile at the hospital, everyone looks at Lois all banged up.

"Oh, God, what have I done? I'm the worst husband ever." Peter said in a panic tone while John, Tyler, Emily and Frank Jr just roll their eyes.

"Make that the worst father ever." Someone said off screen

"Hi, I'm Agent Jessup from Child Services. I'm here to take your kids away." Agent Jessup said as he has appeared from Child Protective Services takes the children away.

"What? Why?" Peter asked him.

Because you're mentally unfit to take care of them. Agent Jessup said because Peter is mentally unfit to be a parent.

"No way!" Chris shouted in panic.

"Oh, my God." Persephone said in a terrified tone.

"Finally." Stewie said as he is finally leave his dump of a home.

Now we join the remaining member of the Mallque/Griffin family at Frank and Meg's room while Peter takes a bath with Vern washing while Brian calm him down.

"I can't believe they took my siblings away. And John went with Persephone for emotional support." Emily said in scared tone as Tyler writes sad stories in the corner from losing his buddies.

"Well, at least Cleveland and Menma offered to take care of them." Frank said to reinsure the remaining members of the family in the house.

"Yeah thank god for Cleveland and Menma." Peter said from his walkie talkie.

"Also I glad I didn't go since I'm married frank and a teenage mother." Meg said as she rock Frank Jr to sleep while he thinks of an idea to get his family back home.

As we join ourselves at Cleveland as he tucks in Griffin boys plus Tyler in one huge bed.

"Sorry you have to share a bed, boys. I'm a little short on space. Have a good sleep."

"Hey, Chris... Tyler….whatever happened to Geena Davis? She used to be in movies, but she's not in movies anymore. She's attractive enough...but when she smiles, you see too much gum. Not a good tooth-to-gum ratio." Stewie asked them about Geena Davis not being in movies anymore.

"Chris?" Stewie asked if he is awake but Tyler silence him.

"He'll tell you tomorrow." Tyler said as they went to sleep.

As we join now Menma down stairs talking to Meg and Persephone about their sleep over tonight.

"Thanks for letting my friends and my twin sister sleep over, Menma." Persephone said her thank to Frank's brother.

"No problem, Persephone. If you gals get hungry, there's some cottage cheese in the fridge. I'm gonna get me a spoonful now before yawl have at it." Menma said as he rushed toward the fridge as the girls begin to talk about a hot boy.

"Oh, my God. Craig Hoffman's new car is so cool." Meg said as quagmire was hiding behind the couch.

Oh, my God. Totally. I love the color. Patty said as quagmire rises slowly to spy on them.

Really? What color is it? Esther said as quagmire rises slowly to spy on them.

It's like blue, kind of blue-green. Persephone said as John rise slowly to spy on quagmire and maybe kick his ass out.

Ah, It's the same color as his eyes. Meg said as quagmire is getting bored

Wow. I bet he looks so hot driving it. Beth said as John also is getting bored.

I heard he bought it from his dad. Persephone said as John is getting more bored but not of Persephone as he starts to remember all the good time they had.

"Yeah, I remember his dad dropped him off at school in it... one time when he was a freshman." Ruth said as quagmire is starting to lose it.

"Doesn't his dad live in Hartford?" Patty said as John slaps himself in the face to stay awake.

"I think so." Beth said as john pick his nose while seeing quagmire about to lose it.

"My aunt Sheila lives in Hartford. They have a mall there that's pretty cool. It's part underground." Esther said as quagmire is starting to get mad.

"That's awesome." Ruth said as quagmire has had it and leave his hiding place.

"Damn it, you guys are boring the crap out of me. It's stupid, mindless chatter, is what it is. You know what I'm gonna do? I'm just gonna go back to my place and rent a dirty movie. This is ridiculous." Quagmire said as he gets dress and leave out the door.

"That was weird. Oh, well. Hey, let's compare breasts." Ruth said as she suggest that they compare breast and they agree to it. Now we see them undressing their tops as John went wide eyed, Frank suddenly appear right next to him to see the show.

Now back to the hospital as Peter leave the bathroom in Lois's room, while Frank Jr holds her hand in saddness.

"Lois? Hey, how you doing, honey? Listen, there's no toilet paper in the bathroom... so, I'm just gonna... There we go." Peter said as he take some of her leg bandages as toilet paper and went back in. while Frank Jr look shocked

As Peter done his business while we hear Toilet flushing.

"Oh, God." Frank Jr said out loud in panic as he see her bandages unrevealing her.

"Hang on! Hang on! Hang on! Hang on! Hang on!" Peter said as he rush out with a pair scissors to cut the bandages of the leg to stop the unrevealing.

As we see Brian with Emily coming in offscreen.

"Well The doctors still don't know how much longer she's gonna have to be here." Brian said the bad news to Peter

"I feel terrible Brian, I put Lois in a hospital and I lost the kids. This is turning out worse than Stewie's iPod commercial." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about stewie having an iPod commercial.

 **Cutaway**

We see a silhouette of Stewie listening to his iPod while he dances as the song "The Warrior" by Patty Smyth plays.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Peter, you just need to show what a good father you are. Then you can get the kids back from Cleveland. Brian tells Peter that he just has to show that he is a good parent.

Wait a second, Brian. You're right. And the best way to do that is to show what a terrible father Cleveland is. Peter said as he thinks that the best way to do that is to show what a bad parent Cleveland is.

This plan is so perfect, it's retarded. Frank Jr said sarcastically

As we join Stewie and Tyler watches the CBS Evening News.

"Good evening. I'm Dan Rather. And tonight on CBS News... seven Saudi soldiers sodomize... several of Saddam's southern settlement squatters." Dan Rather said as he whistles when he says "s" sounds doing a news report on the CBS Evening News and He comically uses alliteration to describe a situation between Saudi Arabia and Iraq.

Then Dan Rather whistling loudly, while steam starts to come out of his ears, as if he were a tea kettle. A repairman comes over and moves him to another chair

"I'm Dan Rather." Dan Rather said as He finishes by saying who he is, while the show mocks anchor Dan Rather's whistling intonation, likening him to a tea kettle.

Now back at Cleveland house we see Peter brings seven prostitutes into Cleveland's house.

"All right, come on, ladies. Right this way. This'll show them that Cleveland's not fit to be a parent." Peter said with confidents as he thinks his plan will work.

"So, tell me, is there any tread left on the tires at all?" John asked one of the prostitutes about their down stairs work.

"Or at this point, would it be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway?" Stewie asked them if their down stairs are broken.

As both Cleveland and Agent Jessup arrived at the house for peter's plan.

"Oh, my Lord. Look who's here. Agent Jessup, look at all these prostitutes." Peter said as he point out the protitutes in the room.

As Emily and some kids begin to count and Singing about the number of prostitutes inside Cleveland's living room.

 **Emily and kids**

 _One, two, three, four, five, six, seven_

"Seven. Seven prostitutes." Frank Jr said as he appear to say how many prostitutes are inside Cleveland's living room.

"This is a shakedown." Cleveland said as he see through this scam.

Mr. Griffin, this isn't going to work. Agent Jessup said as he agrees with him as he sees through the plot

"Yeah, Peter, you, Frank Jr and five of those prostitutes, get out of my house." Cleveland said as he orders Peter, Frank Jr and five of the prostitutes out.

Until Frank asked Cleveland something about what Cleveland has said.

"Why five have to stay, Cleveland? You should get the whole package." Frank said as Cleveland face palm himself for not think about having all the prostitutes.

Now we join the family at the courthouse as Peter is given a trial as to why he should get the kids back.

"So, in conclusion, Peter Griffin, you've inspired me... to distrust all mentally challenged parents. Thank you, Your Honor." Agent Jessup said his case about peter.

And thank you, Agent Jessup, for your comically misleading remarks. Mr. Griffin, do you have anything to say in your defense...as to why this court should return custody of your children to you? Judge Dignified Q. Blackman said as he passes it to peter to defend himself.

"Your Honor, I would like to call to the stand my surprise witness... The Ghost That Never Lies." Peter said as he brings out a hand puppet of a ghost.

As the court exclaiming in surprise while Emily face palms herself while she realized that they are going to lose.

"But I'm the only one who can see him and hear him... so I'll let everyone know what he's saying and doing." Peter said until Agent Jessup interrupts him.

"Objection, Your Honor. This is ridiculous." Agent Jessup said as he thinks this is ridicules.

"Overruled. I'll allow it. You better be going somewhere with this, Mr. Griffin." Judge Dignified Q. Blackman said as he tells peter that what he is doing better be good.

"Thank you, Your Honor. Ghost That Never Lies... did you witness the events that took place on that fateful day? You did? Well, how interesting. And, do you see the culprit or culprits in this courtroom today? You do? Well, would you kindly point him or them out for this court? Don't point at me, you jackass!" Peter said as he starts hiscase until the puppet betrayed him at the last moment.

"Well, if there's nothing further, I hereby sentence..." Judge Dignified Q. Blackman said as he about to close the case until Peter Interrupted him.

"Wait, wait, wait. Your Honor, there is something further. Look, I know I screwed up big time. But I only did it so I could get my kids back. I love them. And I think it's a bum rap that just because I'm retarded... that makes me an unfit parent. There are plenty of unfit parents out there who aren't retarded... but they get to keep their kids. Bing Crosby, Joan Crawford. I think the Ramseys still got one left. I just want them back, Your Honor, and you're the only one who can help me." Peter said as he is defending himself in court, he lists off celebrities that have been exposed as unfit parents, specifically Bing Crosby who reportedly beat his sons, Joan Crawford of the film Mommie Dearest and the Ramsey family. While he gives a heartfelt plea to the judge.

"What do you say?" Frank Jr asked since he got away with it the first time with science now he is trying to do it the nice way.

"Are you kidding? You're a monster. In fact, if I could... I would put you in a place where you would be removed from the general public. Perhaps locked in a big, secure building with other dangerous people... for a pre-determined period of time... based on the nature and degree of your offense. Unfortunately, as far as I know, no such place exists. So I have no choice but to set you free." Judge Dignified Q. Blackman said as Peter's heartfelt plea in trial fails.

"Does that mean I get my kids back?" Peter asked him for his kids.

"Absolutely not." Judge Dignified Q. Blackman said while peter and Brian leave the court house as they think they lost.

As Judge Dignified Q. Blackman about to close the case until Frank interrupted him and runs into the court house.

"Your Honor, I would like to call to the stand my surprise witness... Johnnie Cochran from south park universe." Frank said as he opens a portal to another universe and what came out was Johnnie Cochran.

As Cochran appear now represents Peter in his case.

"Objection, Your Honor. This is ridiculous." Agent Jessup said as he thinks this event is also ridicules.

"Overruled. Because I like cameos, I'll allow it. You better be going somewhere with this, Mr. Mallque." Judge Dignified Q. Blackman said to Frank is this is good as Peter barely avoids imprisonment.

"Thank you, Your Honor. Go ahead Mr. Cochran." Frank said as he passes over to Johnnie Cochran.

"Thank you Frank, Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, you must now decide whether or not to reverse the decision for my client, Peter. I know he seems guilty, but ladies and gentlemen, this..." Johnnie Cochran said as he starts his case.

As He pulls down his display.

"...is Chewbacca. Now think about that for one minute. That does not make sense. Why am I talkin' about Chewbacca when a man's life is on the line? Why? I tell you why. I don't know. It doesn't make sense. If Chewbacca does not make sense, you must acquit!" Johnnie Cochran said as He's using the Chewbacca defense and Agent Jessup feel that he is going to lose big time.

Then Johnnie Cochran now holds up a monkey.

"Here, look at the monkey. Look at the silly monkey." Johnnie Cochran said as he makes the monkey dance.

Until one of the juror chokes a bit, then his head explodes.

As Agent Jessup buries his head in his hands, defeated.

"How find you the jury?" Judge Dignified Q. Blackman asked the jury about the vedict.

"We find the defendant, Peter Griffin... not guilty." Foreman said.

As the spectators gasp again.

"Mr. Chef, you have been found not guilty of be retarded, Case close!" Judge Dignified Q. Blackman said as he slam his hammer.

"Oh, crap! It was prison you were thinking of. Prison. Frank said as he tells him about what he was asking where to put peter in before.

Aw, I already banged the hammer." Judge Dignified Q. Blackman said as he had a brain fart.

As we join Peter and Brian are at home lamenting the fact that the Griffins will never be a family again. As they watch Jake and the Fatman on TV.

"And now, back to Jake and the Fatman." The Man announce on TV. As it shows Jake and the Fatman working on a case.

"Hey, look over here on the carpet. That's a cigarette butt. This is probably evidence." Jake Styles said.

"Oh… WH-What do you think was in that Danish? You think it was cheese? 'Cause I got a little problem with cheese." "Fatman" McCabe asked Jake about what he ate.

"Hey, I'm talking about evidence here. There's lipstick on it." Jake Styles said as he bring Fatman into the case.

"Yeah, well, can you bring it over to me?" "Fatman" McCabe asking if he can see the evident.

"I can't move it. This is a crime scene." Jake Styles said as he can't change the crime scene.

"Well, uh…Well, can you describe it to me?" "Fatman" McCabe asking if Jake can describe it to him.

"You know what? Forget it. I'll take care of this, okay?" Jake Styles said as he can't take anymore of Fatman being lazy.

"Oh, no. Just... Just let me close my eyes for a minute." "Fatman" McCabe said as he needs to rest.

"Look, I know his wife is a smoker. Just yesterday, when we saw her at the country club... she had a cigarette in her hand." Jake Styles explain about the wife being a smoker and there is a cigarette in the crime scene.

As "Fatman" McCabe is snoring as it shows McCabe is depicted as so obese that he can't get up, practically immobile.

Now back to Peter and Brain.

What, so that's it, Peter? You're just giving up? Brian asked peter if he is going to give up.

"I don't know what else to do, Brian. I guess we're never gonna be a family again." Peter said as he can't doing anymore.

As Lois walks in and Peter finds out she is completely recovered.

"Hi, Peter." Lois said hello to peter.

"Oh, my God, Lois." Peter said as he ran to hug her.

"You're all better. Frank Jr said as he ran toward her from basement as Frank returns to the house to give everyone good news.

"That's right. And the doctors say I'll smell like French fries for the next six months." Lois said as she will smell like French fries for the next 6 months.

"We'll enjoy that." Frank Jr said to his and Peter's joy

"And, Pop's, we got a surprise for you. Frank said as he got the kids back.

"You got the rest of kids back." Peter said in shocked

"I love you so much, delicious French-fry Grandma." Frank Jr said all happy

"Yeah Mr. Griffin, we can live with you again even though you are a dangerous retard!" Tyler said as he know they are staying with him knowing the fact that peter is a dangerous retarded.

"Yeah!" John, Chris and Emily said in an agreement.

"Children, don't say retard. We prefer to be called 'little people' because there is nothing wrong with being mentally challenged. In fact, I've learned we are superior, above all you dumb brainy smarties, and one day you will beg us for mercy...and we will consider it." Peter said his peace about being retarded.

"Isn't it wonderful that everything's back to normal?" Lois said it in a happy tone.

"Yeah. Oh, God. Nobody move." Frank Jr said as he notice something outside the house.

"What is it?" Frank asked Peter while he looks outside.

"Nothing. Nothing. I'll get it." Peter said as he leave the front door with a gun to fight whats outside the house.

Which was reveal to be a fire truck from the National Geographic special on fire trucks.

Later Peter is see being attacked by said fire truck outside his house at episode's end.

 **Chapter ends.**

 **I hope everyone enjoyed! This is thanking for pen123 and Family Guy Fan writer 15, Thank you all for cutaways, scenes, favoring, having me on alerts and with that. So enjoy and see you next chapter.**


	8. Chapter 57: John the bachelor

**Chapter 57: John the Bachelor**

 **Narrator**  
 _Fresh out the net box  
Stop, look, and watch  
Ready yet, get set  
It's Family Guy!_

We see paparazzi taking photos of the cast as they come out of the limo and they walk on the red carpet.

 **Chorus:**  
 _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

First it show Frank waling out of the limo with a poster with the words "oh" and he poses for the camera.

Then its shows Meg comes in looking all sexy as she signs autographs while she winks at the fans.

Then it turn to Lois comes in hopping while grabbing rose as she gives a kiss toward the fans.

 **Chorus:**

 _Check it, check it, check it  
Now this is just an introduction  
Before I blow your mind  
The show is All of That and yes we do it all the time_

Then it shows Frank Jr poses as he pull his hat down his chest as he throws a rose to the Fans.

Then next person to show up on the carpet is Stewie. As he flips his hat back to his head while he give autographs to fans.

Then Brian comes in sliding on the red carpet as he waves at the fan as he walks in.

 **Chorus:**

 _So sit your booty on the floor or in a chair  
Ground or in the air  
Just don't go nowhere_

Then Emily comes in give autographs as she smiles at the fans as she tells one of her fans to call her.

Then the scene shows Persephone puts a rose on her mouth with a sexy angry look on her face.

 **Chorus:**

 _Cause everything we do  
It's all of that!  
When entertaining you  
We all of that!_

Then Chris shimming down the carp as he gives the fan a shout out.

Then Peter slide towards the carpet as he flips his hat back on his head.

 **Chorus:**

 _My posse and my crew  
It's all of that!  
So sit still cause we're coming right back_

Then the scene shows John throws a rose at his fans.

As the scene, changes to Tyler puts on rose his mouth as he gives everyone thumbs up.

 **Chorus:**

 _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

Then scene change to the Family Guy MC Cast walks down the stairs as they take a group photo while looking gangsters of the 80. All this while music ends as the scene fades to black.

As we join Peter, Frank, Zeke, Rage, Joe and Quagmire drag Cleveland and Menma to a bar to get him to meet some women after Loretta left him.

"This is ridiculous. Why did y'all drag us here?" Menma said in question.

"Because you two can't just sit home every night since Loretta left." Frank said

"Yeah, you gotta get out and meet some women." Zeke said.

Well, I suppose I could give it a try. Cleveland said as he walks over to a woman standing by the bar.

"Hey, baby. How'd you like to go black and then have to make a difficult decision regarding whether or not to go back?" Cleveland asked her out.

"Sorry, I went burnt sienna and never went back." Woman said as she with other color and never look back.

As a burnt sierra crayon comes up.

"Ready, baby? Who's this clown?" Crayon said as he asked her on who Cleveland is.

Now we join Lois and Stewie at the Kitchen as she feeds him his breakfast.

"Open up, Stewie. The airplane's coming in for a landing." Lois said as Stewie swats the spoon away from his face.

"I guess the pilot must've been JFK Jr. Ew, even I found that to be in bad taste." Stewie said as he referring to the death of John F. Kennedy, Jr, who died while piloting a plane.

"Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad." Chris said as he, John and Tyler come in through the kitchen door.

"Good morning, Chris." Lois said until John and Tyler notice something on Chris's face.

"Oh, my God. Look at the size of that pimple!" John said as his point at it.

"You're like a circus freak!" Tyler said as he and John both laugh at the pimple.

"They're kidding. You're just becoming a man, sweetie." Lois said

"Yeah, I remember when I became a man." Peter said

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter resting after a surgery.

"The operation was a success. What are you going to go by now?" the doctor asked.

"Peter" Peter answered as he looked inside his sheets.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Back at the kitchen with Chris.

"You know, Chris, we'll have to do something about that." Lois said to him about getting rid of the pimple.

"But I don't want to get rid of my zit. I like him. He's my friend. His name is Doug." Chris said as he is enjoying his pimple as he named it Doug.

"I just wish I didn't have to look at it." Brian said as he is disgust with it which piss off Chris.

"Well, we have to look at your anus all day." Chris said an insult about Brian's other habit.

"Thank you!" Stewie and Frank Jr said together in agreement.

Meanwhile at the real Chris Griffin house as he is under the name Chris Abbott was he has nightmares of his clone and his life.

 _He sees Doug, he was a pimple that lived on Clone Chris' cheek. He was a bad influence to him and he got him in much trouble. Clone Chris went to a doctor who attempted to use a cortisone shot on Doug but Doug pulled a gun and fired at the doctor, running him off. Clone Chris and Doug wrestled for control with the real Chris arriving on time to finally end this. He reaching the shot and removing Doug._

As Chris wakes up in his bed with his wife, Now 6 months pregnant, her stomach had gotten bigger and she wore maternity clothing.

"How was your sleep?" Lana asked as her wake up to his screaming.

"Terrible," Chris said as Lana confected her husband.

"I had a vision about my clone, he is having puberty and his pimple has come alive, He was a bad influence to him and he got him in much trouble. I was lucky to use a cortisone shot and removing Doug. I might need to go back home to fix this "Chris said

"Okay dear, it's about time you got home, but I need you to go to the store to get me some ice cream." Lana said

"But I just got home, and I was having a nightmare! I'm exhausted. Make someone else do it." Chris said

"You don't have to yell at me!" Lana said as she was about to cry, which made Chris freak y out.

"All I wanted you to do was buy me ice cream, but you have to be an ass about it. I'm pregnant and this is how you treat me? I thought you loved me!" Lana said as she was cry to him.

"Lana, stop crying," Chris said as he tries to calm her down.

"Who's crying, just because I'm a girl and you shout at me, I'm supposed to cry!?" Lana asked as she irritated with Chris.

"But you were crying just a min-" Chris asked her.

"SHUT UP! And why the hell are you still here?! Get me my ice cream already!" Lana shouted at him.

"Okay, okay! Just don't yell at me anymore!" Chris cried in fear.

"I'm sorry, honey," she said in a now calm manner, "I didn't mean to get mad like that. I'm just so emotionally and all. I love you." Lana apologies to her husband.

"I love you too-" Chris said.

"What the hell are you standing there for?!" she asked angrily, "I TOLD YOU TO GET MY F#CKING ICE CREAM! DON'T MAKE ME F#CK YOU UP!" Lana shouted at him to get her freaken ice cream.

"Jesus, Lana! I hate it when you get on these mood swings! You seem to get scary all of a sudden like my sister Meg, when she was pregnant." Chris said as he sets up a flashback about his sister being pregnant and having her mood swings.

 **Flashback.**

At the dinner table, everyone's having dinner when suddenly Peter spills salt on the table.

"DAMMIT DAD!" Meg shouted as she smashed her dinner plate on him making him fall unconscious.

 **End Flashback.**

"Anyway, did you decide on what we're gonna name the baby?" Chris asked

"Well, if it's going- Wait? Didn't I ask you to get something for me?" Lana asked.

"No!" Chris said rather quickly as his pack his stuff to save his clone before it's too late.

Now we turn to channel 6 news with tom tucker from the Mallque/Griffin house.

"The Bachelorette comes to Quahog in search of male contestants. Story at 11:00. Well, actually, that was pretty much it. Oh, but there'll be other stuff, too. Look, I'm turning down the thermostat. See Diane's erect nipples at 11:00." Tom Tucker said as he makes new and reports to See Diane's erect nipples at 11:00.

Now back to the family as the girls begin to freak out.

"Oh, my God! The Bachelorette is coming to Quahog! That's, like, my favorite show ever!" Meg said as Persephone runs around the house in excitement.

"Mine too, Meg, I can't wait for this episode." Emily said as she fanning herself to calm down.

"Girls, how can you watch that crap? That show's not reality. It's all staged. It's a complete mockery of human relationships." Brian said as he mocks the show for being not reality, It's all staged and a complete mockery of human relationships.

Which piss off the girls, so the hit him with a newspaper.

"You know, this could be the perfect way for Cleveland and Menma to meet Mrs. Right." Frank said to Peter about his idea of taking both Cleveland and Menma to try and join.

"I gotta tell them!" Peter said in agreement as he get the phone to call Cleveland.

"Hey, Cleveland. Joe? Oh, sorry, I dialed the wrong number. I meant to call Cleveland. No, no, I just wanted to tell him about something. No, no, I'd like to talk to you, too, it's just... Fine. I'll call you after I talk to Cleveland. I don't feel obligated- I want to." Peter said as he accidentally call Joe and it just got awkward.

Now we join Chris at the bathroom looking in the mirror at his pimple.

"You're a good pimple, Doug." Chris said as he thanks his pimple for being a good friend.

"Feed me!" Doug said as the first thing that Chris's pimple says is "Feed me," like Audrey II from the Little Shop of Horrors.

As Chris gasps in awe.

"You... talk!" Chris asked his pimple on how it can speak.

"That's right. And we're gonna raise some hell." Doug said as they are going to raise some hell.

"All right! Raise some hell!" Chris shouted in excitement as Chris takes his shirt off, the bathroom walls and furniture changes.

As Herbert hops outside Chris' window on a ladder, he spy's at Chris dance while he turn to the readers looking at and rise his eyebrows up and down. Until Chris throw off his shirt and the whole scene up to when he falls down. This is a parody from the film Animal House.

While real Chris arrive in his wife car park near the house as he begins his mission of not getting caught by his mom.

Now we join Peter, Frank Jr, John, Emily and Brian at The Quahog Performing Arts Center, as Cleveland and Menma are waiting to audition for ABC's The Bachelorette. Meanwhile inside the audition room, the producers are with Steve.

"So, why would you be a good candidate on The Bachelorette?" The women producer asked her auctioneer.

"I would be perfect for your show because I know how to talk dirty to the ladies. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. That feels so good. Spit in my mouth." Steve the disabled professor said as tells them their response.

Now we see The Quahog Performing Arts Center at night and the producers still have nothing on guest on their show.

"200 auditions, and nothing." The women producer said in disgust.

"Well, we still got one guy waiting. The man producer said as there is one person waiting out in the waiting room.

"You lined up 201 auditions? What a weird number." The women producer said as she complains about him lined up 201 auditions.

"You're weird." The man producer said as he call her weird.

Now back at the waiting room with Cleveland and Peter.

"Peter, I can't do this. I'm too nervous. I gotta go." Cleveland said as he gets nervous at the audition. Until Peter and Frank Jr stop him.

"No, no, Cleveland, I'm not going to let you do this. Frank Jr will tie you down if we have to." Peter said as he in an effort to calm him, he asked Frank Jr to ties Cleveland down onto the chair.

"Peter, this is only making it worse. Oh, God, my claustrophobia is setting in!" Cleveland said as he gets more nervous.

"It's all right, it's all right, it's okay. It's all right. It's the fabric. It's the fabric. It's your clothes. All right, let's get your clothes off." Peter said as he pulls Cleveland's top off and trousers off

"Peter! Peter, what's wrong with you? I'm naked." Cleveland said as he feel more nervous while he is being naked.

"Oh, God, you're self-conscious. I'm sorry. Here, you know what? Look, look. Cleveland. Look. See? See? Now you're not alone. You're not alone, Cleveland." Frank Jr said as he removes Peter's clothes so Cleveland won't feel alone.

"Let me out of here! I need to get out of here!" Cleveland said in panic as he got out of one of his binds and tries to get free until both Frank Jr and Peter stop him.

"Cleveland, no. No, you're staying. This, this for your own good. This is for your own good." Peter said as he tries to push Cleveland down to his seat and calm him down while they are both naked.

Oh, my God! The women producer said in shocked. As Both producers see this and went back in their room.

"Hi, we're here for the interview." Frank Jr said in an awkward tone.

"Uh, excuse me?" John said as he knocks on the door.

"Hi. Yeah, listen, we just wanted to apologize for Peter. He was just trying to help out his friend." Brian said as he and John apologizes for what happened with Peter and Cleveland.

"You see, his wife left him, him and his son Menma been kind of lonely, both confused about what they really wants." John explain what happened to his friends.

"What's your names?" The male producer asked the two about their names.

"Brian." Brian said his name in response.

"John, why, who asking." John said as he asked them.

After meeting Brian and John, they made their decision about who going on the show.

"Congratulations, Brian and John. You two are gonna be on The Bachelorette." The Women Producer said as they recruit them to be contestants on the show.

As both Brain and John were both shocked by this news?

"Really? You sure you don't wanna reconsider my friends?" John asked them.

As we join Peter and Frank Jr at the waiting room doing something to Cleveland and Menma's hair.

"Let us see, let us see." Menma asked them as Frank Jr brings them a mirror to show them their work. Which was them with dread locks.

"Oh-ho, that ain't bad." Cleveland said with Menma agreement.

Now back to the Mallque\Griffin House as the family congratulates Brain and John going to the bachelorette.

"Oh, Brian and John, I can't believe you two are gonna be on The Bachelorette." Lois said as she is happy they are in the show.|

"Yeah, I thought you said those shows were stupid." Emily asked him in a mad tone with Meg and Persephone agree with her.

"They are stupid, but I figure I got a few days of free booze and free food before they kick me off. I could use a vacation." Brian said as he signs up for the free martinis and food.

"Yeah, I'm just in it for finding out if my and Tyler family are looking for us." John said as he signs up for a chance for his and Tyler's family to find them.

"Well good for you, John." Frank said as he pat him in the back.

"Oh, yes, 'cause you've got such a heavy workload around here. Hmm, how you, uh... how you coming on that novel you working on? Hmm? Got a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Got a, got a, got a nice little story you working on there? Your big -big novel you've been working on for three years?" Stewie said in a voice rising in pitch as he pass the conversation to his sister, Meg.

"Hmm? Got a, got a compelling protagonist, eh? Got a, got an obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Got a story brewing there? Working on... Working on that for quite some time, huh? Yeah, talking about that three years ago. You've been working on that the whole time? Nice little, uh, narrative- beginning, middle and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? Eh? At the end your main character is richer for the experience, yeah?" Meg said in a voice still higher in pitch, until Frank Jr interrupts them.

"Yeah? Yeah, you've got, uh- no, no. You deserve some time off." Frank Jr said as he finish their talk which piss off the girls.

Now we join the contestants on the bus to reach their destination for the show.

"I'm super-excited. You think she'll be hot?" The blond man said about the Bachelorette.

"I bet she'll be hot." The black hair man said that the Bachelorette will be hot.

"I think she'll be hot, too!" Trevor said in agreement.

"No way- so do I!" The blond man said in agreement.

Now we join John and Brian at the back sigh at the idiots until they spot someone familiar up front.

"Quagmire?" John said as quagmire turns around to them and waves to them.

"Oh. Hey, Brian and John. "Quagmire said hello to them.

"How did you get on the show?" Brian asked quagmire on how he got in the show.

"I had to do a few favors." Quagmire said as he sets up a cutaway about himself.

 **Cutaway**

As we see quagmire at the producer office.

"I gotta get on that show! Come on, I'll do anything!" Quagmire begged as the producer of the show.

"Anything?" the producer asked in weird tone.

"Uh, yeah." Quagmire said as he feels that he is going to regret this.

"All right." The producer said as we now join them at the producer bedroom

"Okay, you ready?" the producer asked him if he is ready.

"Yep" Quagmire answered.

"Okay, check under the bed" the producer ordered.

"Nope. Nothing" Quagmire checked under the bed.

"Check in the closet" the producer wanted as quagmire check the closet.

"No. No monsters in here" Quagmire answered.

"Now check the bathroom" the producer said as quagmire check the bathroom.

"Nope, none in here either" Quagmire said.

"Okay, good." the producer said in relief.

"So, can I be on The Bachelorette? Quagmire asked him to be on the show.

"Yeah. Goodnight" the producer went to sleep.

 **Cutaway Ends**

As we join ourselves at the Mallque/Griffin house with Peter and Lois in the living room.

"Peter, I 'm getting a little worried about Chris. All he does lately is sit alone in his room talking to that zit." Lois said as she worries about Chris.

"Oh, relax, Lois. What's a zit going to do? Talk to him and tell him to sneak out of the house and cause trouble?" Peter said as he sarcastically tells her that Doug talks to him and tell him to sneak out of the house and cause trouble.

Now we join Chris and Doug at the Swanson house with a bag of poo.

"Now light it, ring the doorbell, and run like hell!" Doug said as he tells Chris to make some mischief.

"I don't know about this, Doug." Chris said as he feel that this wasn't a good idea.

"Just do it!" Doug shouted at him as chis light up the bag.

As Chris doorbell rings and make a run for it. While both Zeke and Joe answer to spot the flame bag of poo.

"Oh, good Lord!" Joe said as he stomp the bag out with his criped legs until zeke smell something odd. Then he notice his father legs had that smell, then he realized what that smell was.

"Is that... Doody!" Zeke said out loud as his mother answer him.

"I'm doing the dishes, Zeke. I'll change your father in a minute." Bonnie said offscreen.

As we join ourselves at the show of the bachelorette as Chris Harrison host the show as he introduce the guest to the Bachelorette.

"Trevor, this is Brooke, the Bachelorette." Chris Harrison said his announcement.

As we turn to the shows confession with Trevor telling the audience what on his mind.

"I wasn't too nervous. I mean, when I'm nervous I work out and I wasn't working out, so I must not have been nervous. I was... I was very pleased and surprised." Trevor said to the audience what on his mind.

Now we cut to Brian with a mojito.

"I really was not expecting an open bar. Top shelf booze, I tell you. And this guy knew his stuff. Made me a mojito. I don't think it's a gay drink. Mo-ji-to." Brian said as he enjoys a mojito during his on-camera interview.

Now we join the guest outside the mansion with drinks waiting for Brooke.

"Giggity... giggity... giggity..." Quagmire said while he is breathlessly in the back of the group.

"Hi, guys! Well, it's been great to meet you all and I'm looking forward to getting to know you while we're here!" Brooke said as she looking forward to getting to know everyone on the show.

"Giggity... giggity... giggity..." Quagmire said from behind the group.

As both Brian and John sighing while waiting for the show to be over.

"Dude, put your pants on." Trevor said from off-screen about quagmire being nasty.

Shut up! Quagmire said back to Trevor.

As we turn to the shows confession with Brooke telling the audience what on her mind.

Well, I really like all the guys, but some of them seem a little too competitive. Brooke said as she really like all the guys, but some of them seem a little too competitive.

Now we cut to Frankenberry as the show correctly identified him as 34 years old at the time of the episode's production and initial airing.

"I uh, I gotta tell ya, I don't know what she would possibly see in Count Chocula. I-I thin k he's just here because he's a minority." Frankenberry said while the cereal character appears as a contestant complaining that he feels Count Chocula wouldn't hold any interest for Brooke and is only there for the minority aspect.

Now we join ourselves at the quahog mini-mart at night as Chris and Doug spray painted a message that said "that's enough, John Meyer."

While real Chris was spying on them and he look shocked.

"You were right, Doug! Mischief is fun! We're the best pals since the Snorks." Chris said as he sets up a cutaway about the snorks.

 **Cutaway**

"Oh, I'm having a really great time" Allstar Seaworthy said.

"Me, too. I really value our friendship. You're not like those other snorks who only want one thing. Oh, that was clumsy. Hang on a second" Casey Kelp spilled wine. As she was cleaning up, she accidently shows her underwear as Allstar stares at her. His snork acts up.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to The Bachelorette on their first rose ceremony.

"Gentlemen, it's time for the first rose ceremony. Who gets to stay and who takes the bus ride home? It's up to Brooke." Chris Harrison said his announcement to the consistence.

"Trevor." Brooke said as she take out a rose for Trevor.

"That's what Trevor's talking about." Trevor said as he walk towards Brooke to take the rose.

"Hey, can I say hi to a friend of mine?" Trevor asked Chris to say hi to his friend who is watching.

"Uh, sure." Chris Harrison said his answer to Trevor request.

"Hi Jesus!" Trevor said as he shouted out his friend name on TV as a cutaway begins.

 **Cutaway**

We see Jesus Christ watching TV

"No way!" he cheered.

As the phone ringing and Jesus answers it

Hello? I know, I saw! Jesus said in excitement

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the show.

"Glenn." Brooke said as she take out a rose for quagmire.

As Quagmire goofy squealing while he receive his rose.

As Brian and John both sighing waiting for this to be over until something weird happened.

"John." Brooke said his name which shocked both Brian and john.

"What? Are you serious?" John said as he walk toward Brooke and asked her on why him.

"I feel like I didn't get to know you at all. Would you accept this rose?" Brooke said her response and asked him if would accept this rose.

As John sighing and nodded in agreement.

"All right, but I think this whole thing is about as pointless as Peter's cow kite." John said as he sets up a cutaway about peter fly a cow kite.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter flying something as he laughs at the fun he is having.

"Hahahahaha. Ugh! This is never going to work! Damn cow! Cleveland, what am I doing wrong?" Peter complained as his cow kite was eating the string.

"You got to get her running before you start running" Cleveland explained as he was flying his cow kite perfectly.

 **Cutaway Ends**

As we turn to the Mallque/Griffin house at night, while we see Lois holding both Frank Jr and Stewie in her arm. Lois then knocks on the door of Chris Griffin.

"Chris? Chris, honey, can I talk to you? Oh, my God, he's gone." Lois said as she enter Chris room to find no Chris was there.

"Ooh, that means this room is mine now. Man, I'm going to party my ass off in here." Stewie said as he set up a cutaway about him owning the room when he older.

 **Cutaway**

We see Stewie and Frank Jr. as teenagers, along with other teenagers, being extremely high on weed in Chris's room.

"Great pot, Stewie" Frank Jr. said.

"Yeah, I got it from our cleaning lady's boyfriend. It's okay, though, 'cause she's gonna use the money to get a mammogram" Stewie said.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to Chris's room aswe seeLois sees Chris sneaking back into his room.

"Chris! Where have you been?" Lois asked him where has he been and thinks of punish him.

"Doug told me I don't need to listen to you." Chris said as he tells her that Doug tell to not listen Lois commands anymore.

Which has outrages Lois and shocked Frank Jr to their cores.

"Doug? Your pimple? Oh, that is it! First thing tomorrow we're going down to Goldman's pharmacy and get some astringent to get rid of that thing." Lois said as she deciding to go to Goldman's Pharmacy the next day. Then she'll get some astringent to get rid of Doug.

As she leave the room with the babies, Doug the pimple lose his shit.

"What did I tell you? She's trying to drive us apart. We can't let that happen." Doug said as he is not going to let Lois have her way.

As the evil monkey is out Chris' closet to bother Chris.

As his name suggests, he originally appeared to be filled with malice towards Chris until something happened.

"I'm in no mood!" Chris said as he passes him by as the monkey returns to the closet alone.

As we now turn to the Saddleback Ranch and the first group date in The Bachelorette.

"Welcome to the Saddleback Ranch, and our first group date! Is every one ready for a little cowboy action?" Chris Harrison explain what going on today.

"I love horses." Quagmire said as he and the rest of the dude ride their horses toward Brooke. While John is waiting for his ride until the cowboy name henry came by with a donkey.

"Sorry I' m late, John. Here's your ride." Henry the cowboy said as he hand over to john a donkey to ride with.

"Oh, come on. You can't expect me to ride that thing." John complain on getting the donkey for the ride.

"Sorry, we're short on horses." Henry The cowboy said his response.

As john sighing in disappointment by that response.

"You know what? Forget it. I'll just go play super Mario." John said as he walks away from the donkey into the barn.

As Prince Adam from He-Man appears as a contestant on The Bachelorette taking the donkey that was intended to be for Brian.

"Hey, there, Adam." Henry the cowboy said hello to his friend Adam.

"Hello, Henry. I have the power!" Adam shouted as thundering appears while He used his sword to simultaneously transform himself and the donkey into He-Man and Battle Cat, respectively.

Meanwhile in the barn as we see John playing super Mario for the game boy, he notice that Brooke came by in hurry.

"Brooke? What are you doing here?" John asked her on why she is here.

Ooh, I just can't take it anymore. All these guys just coming on to me. I had to sneak off. Oh, could I bum one of those? Brooke

"You know, I don't even know why I agreed to do this show. To find my family, Jesus. This is just so not me. I would much rather just be home, listening to Brian's old jazz records." John said as he complain about the show.

"Really? You know, I actually have quite a jazz collection myself." Brooke said as she explains that she also have a jazz collection.

"Who do you like?" John asked her.

"DJ Jazzy Jeff." Brooke said something shocking to john.

"Oh." John said in a dull tone until Brooke surprised her.

"I'm kidding." Brooke said as she laughing at her own joke.

"Oh! You got me. You got me, yeah." John said as he laughs at her joke.

"No, I really like Coleman Hawkins, Ben Webster... ooh, and early Coltrane, before he got clean." Brooke said.

"Yeah, yeah, no junk, no soul." John said as he make fun of Coltrane.

"No kidding. I mean, look at Chevy Chase." Brooke said in agreement.

As we turn to the shows confession with John telling the audience what on his mind.

"Right, right. You know , I gotta say, I thought she was just some actress looking for her 15 minutes of fame, but she's, uh... she's pretty sharp, you know? I guess you can't judge a Brooke by her cover." John said as he chuckling at the joke.

Until John realized that the joke was recorded on live TV.

"You can... you can cut that out, right? Oh, and maybe you can cut when I said "junk" earlier, the whole Chevy Chase thing. Seems like he's probably the kind of guy who might sue. I mean, the guy's gotta have no money left." John asked them to cut that scene with him talking about Chevy Chase thing.

Now back to The Bachelorette as they watch one of the contestants on a date with Brooke.

"All right, gentlemen, let's see how Glenn's private date with Brooke is going." Chris Harrison explain what going on with quagmire with Brooke in a Jacuzzi.

"Hey, Brooke, what do you say we get you some more champagne?" Quagmire asked her if she want some champagne.

"Sure." Brooke said as she seal her fate with quagmire.

"Hehehe! All right." Quagmire chuckling as he put ruffies in Brooke's drink.

As she drinks it, she faints as quagmire drag her body off screen until he realized him on a TV show.

"Oh, hey, uh, forgot about you guys." Quagmire said out loud as he puts Brooke's body down.

"Well, I guess the date's over. Good night, Brooke. Thanks for a lovely evening." Quagmire said as his say goodbye to her, he takes on of her shoes while leaving and he sniffing it.

"Aaahhh!" Quagmire moan in happiness like a pervert.

Now is the next day, as Frank Jr, Peter and Lois head to Goldman's, they realize there has been a break-in.

"Oh, my God, Peter! It looks like there's been a break-in!" Lois said in shocked.

"Duh... do you think so?" Frank Jr said it in ironic tone as Peter bell ringing for mort.

"Oh, God, they're back!" Mort said in terror as he throws the pot of hot coffee onPeter.

As Peter screaming in pain, while two teens look in awe at Mort Goldman.

"Whoa! Awesome! Totally awesome! All right, Goldman!" the teens said as they give him the thumbs up.

"What the hell's your problem, Mort?" Frank Jr asked in in anger.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Peter. I though t you were one of those criminals who broke in and destroyed my entire stock of acne medication." Mort said as it was reveal that someone has destroyed Mort's entire stock of acne medication.

"Oh, my God. Peter, do you think Chris might have done this?" Lois asked his husband and Grandson if Chris did this.

"Come on, Lois, he doesn't have the wild streak you had when you were younger. For God's sake, you used to make plaster molds of celebrity body parts." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about Lois make plaster molds of celebrity body parts.

 **Cutaway**

We see a young Lois making a plaster mold of Daryl Hall's penis.

"Okay, Daryl, it's almost dry. Very nice, by the way. This one's going on the shelf right next to Dan Fogelberg" Lois explained.

"Hey, Lois. Am I up next?" Oates arrived.

"Just wait in your dressing room. I'll come back for you, Oates" Lois said as Oates closed the door. "I'm not coming back for Oates."

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to The Bachelorette show as Brooke is giving out rose to her final contestants

Glenn, will you accept this rose? Brooke asking quagmire if he wants to stay on the show by accept the rose

Really? After I drugged you and tried to have sex with your unconscious body? Quagmire asked her in shocked on what happed on their date.

What? Brooke said in shocked on what quagmire just said.

Yes. Quagmire said as he rush to take his rose.

This is the final rose tonight.

John. Brooke said his name to stay on the show.

Yes! John said in excitement to have one more chance.

As we turn to the shows confession with John telling the audience what on his mind.

Yeah, you know, I mean, I know I was skeptical at first, but I... I gotta be honest, I've never felt this way about anyone before. I mean... I'm in love. That's i t. I'm in love. I finally understand those songs on the radio. John said as he begins to sings the **"At This Moment"** song at The Bachelorette during a side interview.

 **John**

 _What did you think_

 _I would do at this moment_

 _When you're standing before me_

 _With tears in your eyes_

Now we join John and Brooke going to the Mallque/Griffin house to visit John's adopted family.

"Oh, John, I can't wait to meet your family." Brooke said in excitement.

"Yeah, me, too. They're, uh, pretty great." John said nervously as he rings the door bell and it was answer by his best bud, Tyler.

"John! Welcome home, you son of a bitch! So, did you lose?! You got to tell me all about it. Hey, how was the bachelorette? Was she a dumb bimbo, like Brian said, but with a big rack?" Tyler said as he is excited to see his friend again at home.

Until Peter come in laughs at Tyler's own jokes and introduce himself to John's friend.

"Come on in and tell me everything. I bet your stories will make me laugh so hard I shoot milk out of my nose." Peter asked him about his time at the show.

"Um, tyler, Mr. Griffin, this is Brooke, the bachelorette. She's, uh, having dinner with us tonight. I went over this with you a few minutes ago." John said as he introduce Brooke to his friend and his adopted father, Peter.

Then suddenly Peter laughing and then shooting milk out of his nose until Frank knock him out.

Now we are inside the dinner room with the family asking Brooke some question.

"Well, it's wonderful to meet you." Frank said as he welcomes her to his home.

"We've heard so many nice things." Meg said with agree with him

"Yes, indeed." Stewie said in agreement as he rolls his eyes in disgust.

"So, how long have you been a prostitute?" Frank Jr asked her.

"No, Doug, I will not lift up her shirt!" Chris said no to his pimple

"Chris, we have company!" Lois yelled at him

"So... you, uh, you ever been with a woman?" Peter asked her something sexual.

"Um, no." Brooke said her response which made Lois piss off at peter for asking that question.

Peter! Lois yelled at him

What? Peter said in question of her yelling until Chris came up to Brooke and lift up her shirt to see her awesome breast.

As Brooke screams while Chris pull up her shirt by Doug command.

"There, are you happy, Doug?" Chris said as he sobbing from doing this act.

Christopher Cross Griffin, what are you doing?! Emily and Lois said in shocked until Joe bust threw the door in the dinner room.

Joe, what are you doing here? Emily asked Joe as he arrive to the house.

"Peter, Lois, we have proof that it was Chris who vandalized Goldman's Pharmacy. Joe:

"I knew it. I knew it! I didn't want to believe it, but it's true. Oh, God, what happened to my baby?"! Lois said as she cried while being held by Emily

"Who sold you the drugs?" Frank Jr shouted at him while peter grabs his belt to beat Chris with it.

"I can't believe this!" Frank said as he chase Chris around the room with Tyler, while Peter tries to hit Chris to give him his punishment.

As everyone all shouting at once while chasing Chris, John and Brooke feel embarrassed.

"Do you know what a cavity search is?" Joe said as John and Brooke look in awe on what just happened.

Now we join Chris in his room with his pimple talking about what just happen tonight.

"You made my mom cry, tonight, Doug. I don't think you're a very good friend. I'm not going to listen to you anymore." Chris said as he has had it with Doug.

"Oh yeah? Well, I'm inside your head now, fatty. And I just might reach into your brain and do this." Doug said as he control clone Chris body and hits him in the face.

"Ow! Okay, okay, I'll listen." Chris said as he pussy out and gave to Doug's command.

"Hihihih! Now that's my boy. Now, grab my bacon grease and slather me up some homies." Doug said while laughing as Chris was commanded to used bacon grease and slather him up some homies.

"What's going on, man?" One pimple said as it appeared.

"Sup, dawg?" Pimple two said as it appeared

"Yo, where all the whiteheads at?" Pimple number 3 said as it appeared last.

Now back to the bachelorette as john walk towards to Brooke to face his judgement.

"John, we had some wonderful times. I really like you ..." Brooke said as she tells him that she had a wonderful time.

"Look, I understand. It's okay. I hope you and Quagmire have all the happiness in the world." John said as he feels that he has lost.

"But I'm choosing you." Brooke said her response as she choose John.

"Just promise me y you'll make him wear this..." John said as he about to pass her a condom until he heard what she just said.

"What? You're choosing me? After what happened with my family?" John asked her on why pick him after what happed with his family.

"Well, it wasn't as bad as the evening I spent with Glenn and his mother." Brooke said as she sets up a cutaway about her time with Glenn and his family.

 **Cutaway**

We see Brooke and Quagmire inside a nasty old trailer.

"Glenn, would you feed Mittens?" Mrs. Quagmire asked, off-screen.

"Mittens has food in his bowl" Quagmire answered.

"That's old food" Mrs. Quagmire added.

(Mittens meowing)

"Mittens, shut up. Mittens, shut up!" Quagmire shouted.

"Don't you talk to Mittens that way! Mittens is a member of this family!" Mrs. Quagmire screamed, off-screen.

"Mom, you want this three-way to happen, you're going to have to change your tone" Quagmire threatened.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the Bachelorette as John has won the show and a new girlfriend.

"My God, you've just made me the happiest dog in the world. I love you, Brooke." John said

I love you too, John. Brooke said as she kiss him on the lips which cause her to glow gold, it also made her wet down her private area.

"All right, that's a wrap." Chris said as the show was over and the crew was clean up the set.

"Well, it was great working with you, John. Good luck." Brooke said as after the scene where Brooke tells John that they are breaking up but she felt really Horney from, that kiss. That's when John stop her.

"Wait how about one more date and if it doesn't work, we split." John asked her for one more date and if it doesn't work, we split.

And with that, Brooke agreed with it. Pretty soon, they were inside a small shack near the crashing waves, Brooke opened the door as she smiled towards John watts.

"Come on, John, make yourself comfortable." Brooke said as she feel more Horney from, being near John.

John smiled as he followed Brooke in as he looked around the area. It was pretty well off, a small bed in one of the rooms, along with a kitchen, table and small couch in another room... and a TV that was hooked up in that same room. John then noted a bathroom towards the west side. Brooke yawned as she decided to take a seat on the couch as she spread her legs open... very sexily, revealing to John a nice little hole that was hidden in between her thighs.

"Ah... you know, after a long day of walking out on the beach, I like to spread out and relax..." Brooke sighed as she noticed John's penis was beginning to rise up.

Brooke giggled as she patted next to her. "John, why don't you take a seat right next to me?"

"W-without clothes?" John said, to his surprise.

"Come on, John, I'm not wearing clothes, and I'm sitting on a couch. What's stopping you from doing the same?" Brooke giggled.

John paused, remembering how his father did some weird stuff, especially him getting naked, on the couch. "That's a good point, Mrs. Roberts."

As John got comfortable on the couch, Brooke giggled as she said, "You know John, you don't have to call me 'Mrs. Roberts. I'm not the Bachelorette anymore."

"But you are still technically Bachelorette." John pointed out.

"a single girl is more like it, but I'm okay with that." Brooke sighed.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that." John looked down.

"You know why I became a Bachelorette, don't you John?" Brooke asked, raising an eyebrow.

"To find Mr. right?" John asked.

Brooke nodded. "Especially the teenagers. Sometimes they're a pain, but sometimes... I think I find a lot of them okay as long as you know the secret of controlling them."

"Wow, Mrs. Roberts..." John started before Brooke put a finger on his mouth, shushing him.

"None of that Mrs. Roberts business, okay, John? Oh, but of course. You know my full name. Call me Brooke." Brooke giggled.

"Brooke... I think that's my favorite name..." John gave a smile.

"Is it now?" Brooke said in surprise as she crawled closer to John.

"Between you and me, Chris... John is my favorite name." Brooke whisper her secret to him.

"It is?" John asked as Brooke crawled over to him and got on his body.

"Tell me, John... what do you know about... sex?" Brooke asked.

"Surprisingly... quite a lot. I know my parents always loves having a lot of it." John said.

"Have you ever... had some?" Brooke said, flirting.

"Well... no... To be honest, I never..." John said.

"...done it with a girl? I'm surprised." Brooke giggled. "I think it's time you learned a little something about it..."

Before John could ask what it was, Brooke closed the gap between them with a kiss, surprising John. The fat blonde boy just stared in shock at first at the big breasted woman kissing him... but when her tongue reached his, John's brain and hormones started to go into overdrive as John pulled Brooke closer and continued kissing.

As soon as they broke the kiss, Brooke giggled as she continued kissing down his body, on his neck, on his chest... and eventually, she went right down to his very erect "stick" as John was smiling in glee.

"You know, John, you have a really, REALLY great cock here..." Brooke said, grabbing it with her hand as she started licking John's penis. John's eyes widened in delight.

"Whoa... whoa, I never felt this... that's so... nice..." John said as he was starting to groan.

Brooke Roberts smiled as she put John's dick into her mouth, starting to suck on it as she was going down. John, taking some initiative, grabbed her head and started to get it closer to his area as Roberts continued sucking his cock happily. John's eyes widened as Brooke started sucking faster as John groaned... then he yelped as he felt a new sensation. "B- Brooke... I feel like I'm going to cum!"

Brooke smiled as she felt John's semen seep out into her mouth as she started to lick it up. Brooke giggled as she licked John's dick clean as she let go of it, John's dick going down a bit, but rising back up as soon as Brooke got back up. John smiled as he said, "What was that sensation I felt..."

"That, my John, was a little something called 'Oral' sex. It's natural for a woman to suck on a boy's cock." Brooke said with a smiled.

"Well... I kind of like that!" John said.

"Of course... oral sex can be done if a boy... licked a girl's pussy... Come on, John. Lick it." Brooke said as she laid down.

John looked at Brooke's spreading legs, but smiled as he crawled over to Brooke's vagina and stuck his tongue out as he licked it, Brooke groaned.

"Oh yeah... oh yeah... that's right... lick it, lick it right there." Brooke moaned sexually, causing John to get even more excited. Brooke clung onto the couch as Brooke crossed her legs between John's head. After a few minutes, Brooke's juices began pouring out as John happily licked them up.

"They're so... so delicious! Brooke, I want to learn more about sex..." John said as he looked up at Brooke, excited as he asked for more.

Brooke giggled as she took his hand. "Shall we try something on the bed? All the best sex is always on the bed..."

"Yes, please, please, I want you, Brooke..."John said as he nodded in agreement.

"I want you, too John. Come on over..." Brooke said as she led John into the bedroom as John laid down on the bed. Brooke giggled as she started to crawl up to John's penis... then stopped as she gently put a hand under John's penis and started to lift up his ballsack.

"Uh, Brooke, why are you touching my balls?" John said.

"Don't worry... a natural part of sex, John... you see, your ballsack has a very magical ability to reproduce... all I have to do is get it very excited..." Brooke smiled as she went down to the ballsack and kissed it.

As John smiled, Brooke whispered to the ballsack gently, "Hi, little ones. I know we're going to have a fun time, because I'd love to raise one of you."

John's penis was starting to grow bigger as Brooke blushed at the sight. Brooke then kissed the ballsack again as she whispered, "I know you want John here to be a father... why not make me a mother? I'd be a really good one."

As Brooke continued licking and kissing John's ballsack, John was groaning in pure delight as soon as John's penis went straight up. Brooke crawled up to John as she gave a smile. "I think I'm ready, John... if you are..."

John smiled as Brooke lowered her vagina down at John's penis and inserted it, causing the two to react in shock, then the two smiled as John started to move inside her as John grabbed Brooke's hips, as if to keep her still. With that, the two started making out like jackrabbits... and they would go at it for quite a while...

Meanwhile at the dermatology clinic with clone Chris desperate to get rid of the zit.

Chris, where the hell are we? Doug asked him on where they are

I told you, Doug, this is the bacon factory. Chris said a lie to trick Doug as the doctor appear in their room.

Doctor, I need you to get rid of this zit! Chris shouted at the doctor to get rid of the zit.

You traitor! Doug shouted in anger.

"Whoa, that's a doozy. I bet some of those awful kids at school call you zit face." Doctor:

"No. Chris said his response.

"Papa Zit?" Doctor asked him by insulting him with this name.

"No." Chris said his response.

"Puss Peak?" Doctor asked him by insulting him again with new name.

"No." Chris said his response.

"Fat ass?" Doctor asked him by insulting him for the last time with this name.

"Well, yeah." Chris said as he agree with that name.

"Tsk, tsk. Oh, that's terrible. Well, we're going to have to use some cortisone on that." Doctor said as he takes out a needle with cortisone to get rid of Doug for good.

"Oh, yeah? Two can play at that game." Doug pulled a gun and fired a gunshot at the doctor, running him off.

Don't think I won't do it, man! Doug said as he puts the gun near Chris face.

All right, all right, let's all be cool here... Chris said until grunting clone Chris and Doug wrestled for control.

Until somebody bust threw the door, it was the real Chris. As He finally arrive just in time and he reaching the shot and removing Doug.

"No!" Doug shouted in fear as he fainted away from clone Chris face, then clone fainted at the site of his real self.

"Whew!" Chris said in relief form the battle being over as the doctor came in.

"You okay, fat ass?" Doctor asked the real Chris if he is okay and also insult him.

"Really!" Real Chris said in annoyance as he drags his clone out of the dermatology clinic.

"I can't believe he won! She told him she loved him, on what used to be a hit TV show. God, I can't believe John got sucked in to that phony reality world just like everyone else and he get sleep with her. I became the very thing I was mocking." Brian said in anger.

"Oh, I know it hurts now, Brian, but look at the bright side. You have some new material for that novel you've been writing." Stewie said as Emily, Persephone, Meg and Frank Jr agree with him.

As Emily went to Brian and help him.

"You know, the novel you've been working on. You know, the one you've been working on for three years?" Emily said in a voice rising in pitch as she asked about his novel.

Then Persephone took her turn to Brian.

"You know, the novel? Got something new to write about now, you know? Maybe you're... maybe your main character gets into a relationship?" Persephone said in a voices rises in pitch than Emily as well asking about his novel.

Then Meg took her turn to help Brian.

"Suffers a little heartbreak? Something like what-what you've been... you've just been through? Draw from real-life experiences? A little heartbreak, you know, work it into the story? Make those characters a little more three dimensional?" Meg said in a very high pitch voice than her sisters.

And Emily went to rip on Brian again for insulting the show.

"A little richer experience for the reader? Make those second hundred pages really keep the reader guessing what's going to happen? Some twists and turns?" Emily said it squeaking in high falsetto voice.

Then it came to Stewie to finish him off.

"A little epilogue? Everybody learns the hero's journey isn't always a happy one?" Stewie said in annoying voice.

Until Frank Jr stop the criticism gag with his own response.

"Oh, I look forward to reading it." Frank Jr said in normal voice as he gives them the middle finger at his mom and his aunts and uncle which shocked them.

The episode's end fades to black.

 **Chapter ends.**

 **I hope everyone enjoyed! This is thanking for pen123 and Family Guy Fan writer 15, Thank you all for cutaways, scenes, favoring, having me on alerts and with that. So enjoy and see you next chapter.**


	9. Chapter 58: 8 Rules for Buy My Daughter

**Chapter 58: 8 Simple Rules for Buying My Teenage Daughter**

Episode starts in the Griffin's living room by the front door. As both Frank and Meg plus Peter and Lois are both wearing fancy clothes

Thanks for babysitting, Emily and Persephone. We'll be back in a couple of hours. Lois said as she thank her daughter for babysitting Stewie and Frank Jr for the night.

"No problem mom, I just love the little guys." Emily said with a positive attitude while Persephone was jealous of her sister having a date.

"I understand why I have to babysit Frank Jr. But I don't understand why I have to babysit Stewie I mean, what's he really gonna do if we leave him by himself?" Persephone said as she set up a cutaway about Stewie while he alone by himself.

 **Cutaway**

The scene cuts to Stewie typing away at some sort of machine.

"And now to test my teleportation pods!" Stewie said as he jumps down off the stool and runs into the left teleportation pod.

Once in the pod, the camera zooms out to show that Rupert is lying in the pod as well.

"Oh damn!" he cursed as the left teleportation pod lights up.

The camera scrolls to the right pod, it lights up, and smoke fills the pod.

As Stewie runs out screaming, half human, half stuffed bear, having evolved into "Griffin-Rupert".

"I'M A MONSTER!" he screamed in terror.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now cue the opening credits

 **Narrator**  
 _Fresh out the net box  
Stop, look, and watch  
Ready yet, get set  
It's Family Guy!_

We see paparazzi taking photos of the cast as they come out of the limo and they walk on the red carpet.

 **Chorus:**  
 _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

First it show Frank waling out of the limo with a poster with the words "oh" and he poses for the camera.

Then its shows Meg comes in looking all sexy as she signs autographs while she winks at the fans.

Then it turn to Lois comes in hopping while grabbing rose as she gives a kiss toward the fans.

 **Chorus:**

 _Check it, check it, check it  
Now this is just an introduction  
Before I blow your mind  
The show is All of That and yes we do it all the time_

Then it shows Frank Jr poses as he pull his hat down his chest as he throws a rose to the Fans.

Then next person to show up on the carpet is Stewie. As he flips his hat back to his head while he give autographs to fans.

Then Brian comes in sliding on the red carpet as he waves at the fan as he walks in.

 **Chorus:**

 _So sit your booty on the floor or in a chair  
Ground or in the air  
Just don't go nowhere_

Then Emily comes in give autographs as she smiles at the fans as she tells one of her fans to call her.

Then the scene shows Persephone puts a rose on her mouth with a sexy angry look on her face.

 **Chorus:**

 _Cause everything we do  
It's all of that!  
When entertaining you  
We all of that!_

Then Chris shimming down the carp as he gives the fan a shout out.

Then Peter slide towards the carpet as he flips his hat back on his head.

 **Chorus:**

 _My posse and my crew  
It's all of that!  
So sit still cause we're coming right back_

Then the scene shows John throws a rose at his fans.

As the scene, changes to Tyler puts on rose his mouth as he gives everyone thumbs up.

 **Chorus:**

 _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

Then scene change to the Family Guy MC Cast walks down the stairs as they take a group photo while looking gangsters of the 80. All this while music ends as the scene fades to black.

As the scene cut to the living room again. Emily, Persephone, Frank Jr and Stewie are sitting on the couch, bored out of their minds.

So Stewie starts a conversation with Persephone.

"So, um...t-this is, uh, awkward, but, uh, h-have we ever actually, you know, met? I mean y-you know I-I don't even know, say, for example, if you have a room up there." Stewie said as he asked her about having room but Persephone didn't respond.

"You know, a room? I have a room." Frank Jr asked his aunt but Persephone didn't listen to him either which piss off Stewie.

"You know, Persephone, if you kill yourself now, you'll probably get a full page in the yearbook. So, um...you know, that's something to think about-"Stewie said until he burps.

"Oh, I just burped." Stewie said as he gross Frank jr out by that burps.

As the doorbell rings and Persephone answers it, Neil Goldman is at the door.

"Hi Persephone, you busy Saturday night?" Neil said to Persephone as he asked her out again.

"Neil, you ask me out, like, once a day, and I always give you the same answer, No!" Persephone shouted at him as she rejects him again.

As Persephone pushes Neil and slams the door.

"God, I don't think I could have been any clearer the last time I turned him down." Persephone said as it intrigue Emily.

"Okay what you do?" Emily asked her as it sets up a cutaway about the last time that Persephone turned him down.

 **Cutaway**

The scene shifts to a taping of the show Everybody Loves Raymond.

"Ray, your mother insulted my steak pizzola again" Debra said as Persephone walks on into the middle of the set for Everybody Loves Raymond.

"Neil Goldman of Quahog, Rhode Island, Leave me alone! I hate you! I hate you!" Persephone shouted as she walks off the set.

"Anyway, your mother insulted-" Debra was interrupted.

"I don't care anymore, Patty. After nine seasons, I just don't care. Maybe you could try not being a bitch" Ray cuts her off as Debra grabs a wine bottle next to her, breaks it on the couch, and advances towards Ray. The familiar piano music from the show starts playing.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we cut to Goldman's Pharmacy, as Frank and Peter drives up to the pharmacy, parks the car, and walks in.

"Hey Mort, Pops and mom, Meg and I are out on a date night, uh, why don't you give us some condoms? And some Excedrin. My wife's got a headache, THIS big." Frank said as he moves his hands toward his crotch.

As Peter laughing at the joke.

"Hahahaha! You know? It's like from the commercial." Peter said as he moves his hands toward his head

"This big? Only it's my junk." Frank said the rest of the joke.

"Alright, then. Twelve dollars and forty-three cents." Mort said as he tally the amount of money they need to buy the condoms.

"Aw, jeez, that's more of a rip-off than that breakfast machine I bought." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about himself using a breakfast machine.

 **Cutaway**

The scene shifts to Peter in the kitchen with a giant elaborate Mouse-Trap style machine.

As Peter lights a candle, which burns a rope.

The rope drops an anvil, the anvil hits a switch, and the switch starts a conveyor belt.

The conveyor belt powers a mini Ferris wheel, which hits some flags, makes a propeller spin, and a ball go through a tube.

The ball is eaten by a toy dinosaur, which flings it on its tail and hits a toy drinking bird.

The bird presses a button, a balloon fills up with air.

Attached to the balloon is a string which is tied to the trigger of a gun.

The balloon starts to float upwards, the string gets tighter, the gun trigger is pulled and Peter is shot in the arm.

"Gah! Ow! Ow, What was the point of all that? Ow, all it does is shoot ya! It doesn't make breakfast at all! Oww!" he screamed.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to Frank and Peter at the pharmacy.

"Besides, I forgot my wallet." Peter said the truth about not having his wallet.

Well, that's ok, I'll just open up a tab. Mort said as he offers to open a tab for him

"Wait a minute, what the hell is a tab? Does that mean I don't gotta pay?" Peter said as he thinks he quickly begins spending unnecessarily.

Well, not right now but—Mort and Frank said as they tried it only last until you pay the amount of money.

But Peter cutting both Frank and Mort off.

"Aww sweet! Hey, while I'm at it, gimmie all these copies of Marie Claire. Y'know in case I wanna rub out that easy one before I get Lois into bed tonight." Peter asked Mort that he takes some copies of Marie Claire.

Kathleen Turner's on page 45. Mort tells them about Kathleen Turner's on page 45.

As Peter and Frank are both excited about Kathleen Turner's on page 45?

"Kathleen Turner, eh, let's see how she looks and-." Peter said as he turns to the right page, not excited anymore

"Aww, that's a shame." Frank said as he is disappointed by the page.

Now we cut to back in the Mallque/Griffin's living room, as John, Tyler and Persephone are watching TV on the couch.

"And now back to the Kids' Choice Awards, with host, Paula Poundstone!" TV Announcer said it announcement

As we close up of the TV, we see Paula pointing into the audience

"I choose you, and you, and you. So, come up!" Paula said as she pick kids to come up stage with her.

But the kids are hesitant since its Paula Poundstone.

"I said let's go!" Paula Shouting at the kids to come immediately.

The chosen kids come up on stage as Paula moves back one of the curtains and leads them backstage.

Now we cut back to the living room, with the trio on the couch. Until somebody shouted from upstairs.

"Persephone! Persephone, I'm hungry! There's a granola bar in the cupboard, I want it!" Stewie shouting from upstairs

Then Stewie comes downstairs.

"Hey. Hey! What's this? What's goin' on? Am I talking to myself up there?" Stewie said as he shouts at his sister for ignoring him. Which piss off the people on the couch.

"Oh my God, Stewie! Shut already!" Persephone Shouting at him to shut up.

"Just shut up and go to bed!" John tells Stewie to shut up as well, while Frank Jr and Tyler nodded in agreement.

"Do you know what I do, Persephone? I spit in your mouth while you sleep." Stewie said he did something nasty to Persephone which caused both John and Tyler jump at him, while Frank Jr take out a camera to film the fight.

Now we cut to the front door, as Frank, Meg, Lois and Peter walk in through the door. Persephone then turn to them while being on the couch.

"Finally! Look, sis, mom, I've had it! I'm not babysitting anymore! It's Saturday night, I could be out having a life!" Persephone said as she had complained that she was tired of babysitting Stewie while their parents went out.

"Persephone, if you don't want to babysit anymore, that's fine." Lois said as she agree with her daughter.

"But don't you stand there and lie to me." Meg said to her twin to not lie to her.

"Oh Persephone, she torched your ass, man!" Peter said as he rips on her.

"She torched your ass!" Frank said as he agrees with him.

"Why can't you just hire a real babysitter?" Emily asked them to hire a real babysitter.

"Well, I guess we could do that." Lois said as she agrees with her new step daughter.

"Let's hope Stewie doesn't kill the babysitter in a week." Tyler said as everyone laugh at what he said.

"Silly Tyler, Stewie is a baby." Peter said as he still laughing.

Now we cut to Stewie overhearing all this on the stairs

"Damn! I'm terrible at meeting new people...like the time I was on Blind Date!" Stewie said as he sets up a cutaway about Stewie's Blind Date.

 **Cutaway**

The scene shifts to Stewie driving a car with a blonde woman.

"I'm having a great time, Stewie" the woman said.

"Me too. So, uh, you ready to go grab some 'za?" Stewie asked.

"Uh...yeah" the woman answered as a thought bubble appears by her head that reads "Pizza? What a cheapskate!" A countdown appears under Stewie that says "Stewie drops the ball in: 3...2...1".

"So, uh, wild guess here, but from the looks of your arm hair, I'm guessing you're Italian?" Stewie asked as the woman looks disgusted, under her, Therapist Joe appears with the message "Italians are from Italy."

 **Cutaway Ends**

Back to the living room as Frank talks to Meg.

"It's too bad that Chris couldn't come and visit us, I wonder why?" Frank asked his wife.

"He said something about needing to help Lana in her time of need or something, It sounds like a lot of bull if you ask me." Meg said as she want to know if her brother is alright.

Meanwhile in Los Vegas, Chris is driving really fast in Lana's car(even though he's only 14) to get her to a hospital. Yup, she's finally having the baby.

"CHRIS! IT HURTS! WHAT'S HAPPENEING TO ME?!" she screamed.

"YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE THE BABY!" Chris shouted as he was trying to drive.

"WHAT?! BUT SHE NOT DUE TIL NEXT WEEK AND..."

"THOSE WERE ALL LIES! JUST KEEP BREATHING! WE'RE ALMOST AT THE HOSPITAL!" Chris said as he then looks outside and sees a sign

"Jillian. Can I ask you something?" Chris asked his wife.

"What...is it?" she said between breaths.

"Where's "Now Leaving Quahog"? I can't find it anywhere on this darn map," Chris said in confusion.

Lana then screamed out loud as they left Los Vegas while she holding on to her tummy.

Meanwhile back to the living room Frank asked john on how he is doing with the death of Brooke. As John remembers the time he have sex with Brooke, she then vanish in front of him by the very next day.

It was Wednesday at night, He was in the bath room with her, he locked the bathroom door and he moved Brooke to the second bathroom stall.

"Now time to remove this." John said. He removed his pants revealing his dick. He removed Brooke's swimsuit and inserted his penis inside Brooke's vagina. He thrusted harder and harder. Finally, he ejaculated. His sperm was inside Brooke womb and she was so satisfied. After have sex with Brooke, John left.

As Brooke's drunk body began to glow golden and it change her, it made her sexier. She doesn't have any fat or gray hair. She woke up she found naked.

"Damn that's hot" Brooke said as she looks at herself.

The Next Day. . .

As Brooke was in the bathroom taking a piss. She had a hiccup, as a drop of urine fell on a pregnancy tester. It turned out positive.

"Huh. NOoooo!" Brooke screamed in panic of being pregnant.

The next day in Brooke's Living Room . . . as she tells John the truth.

"Brooke how could you pregnant. I had a condom." John yelled at her.

"I guess one of our sexual adventures in the beach bar must've got me like this. Oh well" Brooke said in defeat as she rubs her tummy.

Suddenly Brooke's belly was started to expand in larger size.

"Oh God it's coming oh its coming." Brooke said as she lied down on her back and removed her clothes.

Then it pops! Brooke's belly explode thus killing her in the process.

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! John yelled in pain for lose his first serious girlfriend ever.

Three weeks later. . .

As Frank found john all broken at the beach and John was think of killing himself, so he take him to a therapist to help with Brooke death, John got better then he found Persephone and she became his girlfriend in the future who is very smart with her choices. Junior found a passion for rapping. Tyler is cooler than ice. But those tales are for another time.

Now we cut to the living room. Frank, Frank Jr, John, Tyler, Brian, Chris, and Stewie are sitting on the couch, Peter is sitting in an armchair. They each have medicine bottles.

"Alright, you guys, I got eight crates of Ipecac all on my tab. Now, whoever goes the longest without puking gets the last piece of pie in the fridge." Peter said as he explains that He buys eight cases of syrup of ipecac so he can hold a vomiting contest with them.

Everyone drinks the Ipecac

"Ok, here we go...how's everybody doing?" Peter asked his family if they are doing so far.

"Good, good so far." Brian said his response with everyone agreement.

"Alright, alright." Peter said as he looks at the rest of the family on the couch and still nothing happened.

"Nothing yet." Stewie said as Frank Jr nodded with agreement.

"Cool, cool..." Frank said in agreement as well.

"You know, I don't know if any of you guys have had that pie yet, but that's...that is some tasty stuff. That's from the bake sale that Lois was...HULLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHH!" Peter said until he suddenly throws up.

"Ooh, one down. I know somebody who won't be having any...BLEEEEHHHHHHHHH!" Stewie said to Chris and brag about winning until he throws up.

"I'm starting to feel funny." Chris said as he feels funny down to his stomach.

"Well, I feel fine, I guess I'm gonna...HUHLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Brian said as he feels fine until he throws up

"Oh, boy! That means I win! I get to eat... HULEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHH!" Chris said until he throws up.

"Oh yeah! That means there's four of us now! That pie is mine…HULEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHH!" John said as he thinks he won until he throws up

Upon see John throw up, Tyler couldn't hold it anymore and he throws up.

"Wow! That means it's just the two of us now, huh, Frank Jr… HULEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHH!" Frank said until he throws up. As this event was a complete failure for Peter.

"Oh boy! That means I win! I get to eat… HULEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHH!" Frank Jr said although Frank Jr technically wins until he throws up again.

As Stewie throws up again on the floor.

"LEEEEEEEHHHHHHHH! Oh God, why didn't anybody tell me." Stewie said in question as he throws up on the couch.

"Oh my God, my insides are on…HULLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHH!" Frank said until he throws up again.

"No, no please, no more, no more…LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Stewie said in fear for this to be over but he throws up again.

"Dad, I'm scared… GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLL!" Chris said in fear until he throws up again.

"Get the phone, Call nine-one-on...HULEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHH!" Brian tried tell peter to call 911 until he throws up.

"Lois! Lois get in here...HULEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHH!" Peter tried to call Lois but he walks backwards and he throws up and hits the wall.

"OK, ok. I think it's all gone. I think...HULEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHH!" John said as he thinks he is done until he throws up again

As Tyler and Stewie's rocking back and forth on the couch as they both crying.

"I don't wanna, I don't wanna ...HULLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHH!" Tyler and Stewie said as they wanted to stop but they both throws up.

"Frank, Frank, I need you to hold my ears...LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHH!" Brian asked Frank to help him as he too throws up on the couch.

As Frank yanks Brian's ears.

"LEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Frank throws up on them.

"BLEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"Brian throws up again, as all eight of them groan, Both Frank and Peter collapses.

As The vomiting stops for a bit, and the whole living room is covered in puke.

As Lois and Emily enters the room, while Meg holding a pot.

"Who wants chowder?" Lois asked them if they want chowder.

"HUUULLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHH!" Peter, Frank, Frank Jr, John, Tyler, Chris, Brian, and Stewie throw up at the same time.

Now we cut to outside the Mallque/Griffin residence, Peter is holding a hose and filling a bucket with water, Peter looks up at the sound of an airplane.

What the hell? Hey Persephone, you better check this out. Peter shout for Persephone to come outside to see what happening.

As both John and Persephone opens the front door and gasps.

A plane with the banner "PERSEPHONE, I AM YOUR DESTINY. LOVE, NEIL. ALSO, HAVE YOU SEEN MY GOOD PEN? I FEEL LIKE I LOANED IT TO YOU IN PHYSICS, BUT I HAVEN'T SEEN IT IN A" flies by.

Another plane flies closely behind the first plane with a banner that says "WHILE."

"Oh, God. This is so embarrassing. I can't believe this is happening to me." Persephone said as she feels so embarrassed by the whole thing.

As Peter pushes a shelf of cards towards Persephone.

"Awww, looks like someone could use a greeting card to cheer 'em up. I put these on my tab." Peter said as John pick one card for her since he wants another chance with her.

"Here, take a "Far Side" one. The vulture thinks he's a cowboy! Hahahaha!" John said as he and Peter laughs.

"Hihihihi! It is kinda funny." Persephone said as she read the card while she Chuckles.

As Quagmire walks on screen and Persephone walks back indoors.

Hey, Peter, you got a card for if you transferred VD to somebody? Quagmire asked Peter if he has any cards for if you transferred VD to somebody.

As Peter and John look around the shelf of cards for transferred VD to somebody until peter found one.

"Uhh, let's see here...uhh...yep. Sorry I accidentally gave you VD" Peter said as he passes the card to Quagmire.

"Aw, all you got is accidental, huh? All right, I'll take it." Quagmire said as he takes the card and went on his way.

Back to the Mallque/Griffin House as we see Lois and Emily in the living room interviewing potential babysitters.

"Well, first let me thank you for answering the ad. Now, what do you feel qualifies you to be an effective babysitter for Stewie?" Lois said as she interviews Santos and Pasqual the fishermen.

"We're great with children." Pasqual said as he speaking in Portuguese as they offered to babysit Stewie.

"Uh, yea, uh, we couldn't run an ad that said 'No Portuguese', but, um...no Portuguese. Stewie said as he informed them that no Portuguese were allowed.

Now we cut to outside the house, then back inside, where Lois is interviewing someone else.

"So, I see here that you've worked for a family for a number of years. Can I call the uh..." Lois said she and Emily squints at the clipboard.

"Herculoids for a reference?" Emily asked the person she and Lois are interviewing.

The camera zooms out to reveal that she's interviewing Gloop from the TV show "The Herculoids".

As Gloop makes inaudible noises.

"I-I'm sorry, I don't understand." Lois said as she doesn't understand him.

As Gloop makes more noises but still Lois doesn't understand.

The position has been filled. Emily said as this interview is over.

As Gloop makes angrier noises.

"The position has been filled, thank you very much, you can go now." Lois said as she wants this over as well.

As Gloop makes a few angry noises, and slides off the couch.

As Thundro (also from The Herculoids) walks in and fires rocks at Lois and Emily through his horn.

As Lois and Emily are both pissed off because of that attack from Thundro.

"LEAVE! NOW!" Lois and Emily shouted at them to leave.

The characters slide out with a cartoony sound effect.

"I didn't think it was going to be this hard to choose a babysitter." Lois said as she and Emily are tired.

"Yes, if only you were this discerning when you picked that happening hairdo." Stewie said something insulting about Lois's hair.

Until Emily smack him on the head for saying that.

As the camera zooms to the front door, a girl walks in.

"Sorry I'm late. Can I still apply for the job?" Girl said as her apologies for being late.

As Stewie is dumbfounded by this girl. The camera gets blurry edges and the girl slowly brushes her hair and moves her head.

"My God, I haven't been this exhilarated since Brian took me to see Les Miserables." Stewie said as he sets up a cutaway about himself and Brian see Les Miserables.

 **Cutaway**

The scene shifts to Stewie and Brian in a theatre.

"Attention, ladies and gentlemen, there will be a slight change in the cast tonight" the announcer said.

"Oh, no" Brian said.

"For this evening's performance, the role of Jean Valjean will be played by Kirk Cameron" the announcer announced.

"Oh! Oh, unbelievable! Oh my God! How lucky are we, huh? 'Hey Stewie, what are you doing tonight?' 'Oh, nothing, just watching KIRK CAMERON play Jean Valjean!' Oh my God! Curtain up!" Stewie cheered.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Back in Quahog, Chris and Lana were still being pursued by the cops in the streets of Quahog.

"Chris! Their gaining on us! AND THE BABY'S COMING!" Lana said in pain.

"I'll try to lose them in the alley! Just keep holding that baby in!" Chris said as he has a plan.

"I CAN'T! CHRIS, FORGET THE COPS! JUST GET ME TO A HOSPITAL! **NOW!** " Lana screamed

"Oh, okay then," Chris said as he parked in front of the hospital which just so happened to conveniently be there.

"That's it? No long police chase of us trying to get to the hospital?" she asked in shocked.

"Nope," Chris said his response.

"Wow, that's just so anti-climactic," Lana said in a weird tone.

"I know, "I'm pretty disappointed, too. Now let's just get you to the emergency room." Chris said as he rushes himself and his wife to the emergency room.

Meanwhile Joe and the cop's were still speeding, and unfortunately for him, he happened to pass them.

"What the?" said Joe as he looked at the road which shocked him and his son.

"OH MY GOD! HIT THE DECK!" Zeke said in shocked.

To his horror he saw on the road, a lone soda can. He and his partner then jumped out of the car. The can and the car made contact and nothing happened. Then seconds later the car exploded.

"DAMN YOU 7UP!" Joe shouted to the sky

"DAAAAAAMN YOOOUUUUUUU!" Zeke shouted to the sky as well.

Now we cut to Mort's Pharmacy. As Peter and Frank are shopping for stuff.

Hey Mort, do these suppositories come in other flavors? Peter asked him as he passes mort the suppositories that he is going to buy.

"Peter, are you EATING those?" Mort asked him if he is eating the suppositories.

"No, I'm shoving them up my butt! Of course I'm eating them! Gimme a carton!" Peter said as he being sarcastic asking for carton but Mort didn't give him any.

"Peter, it's the end of the month, and I'm calling your tab! You owe me $34,000!" Mort said as he calls in Peter's debt of $34,000.

"WHAT?! Did you paying of the other stuff pops." Frank asked peter if just pay the other stuff but he nodded no.

"Aww, man, how am I gonna come up with that kinda money?" Peter said in panic since he has no cash.

"Peter, I'm waiting." Mort said as he taking no shit from peter.

As Peter looks around, and notices the "Employee of the Month" photo of Neil.

"All right, all right, I got another idea. What if I sold you my daughter?" Peter said as in desperation, Peter seizes upon a picture of Mort's son Neil, who is infatuated with Persephone.

"Huh?" Mort said in confusion with Frank.

"You drop the tab, and your son can have Persephone." Peter said as he offers to sell Persephone to the Goldman's to settle the bill, offering a contract; Mort agrees.

Now we cut to the Goldman house as peter gives the news to Persephone and by extension John.

"WHAT?!" Persephone and John shouted in anger

"Yup, all you gotta do is sign this contract." Peter said his response.

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!? YOU CAN'T SELL ME, YOU FAT SON OF A BITCH!" Persephone shouted at her father for doing this to her.

"Woaa! Careful getting this fish off the hook, Mort, she's got some fangs. Hahahahaha!" Peter said laughs until John and Frank beat the shit out of him.

"What do you think of that, Neil? Daddy bought you a girlfriend!" Mort said as he tells Neil that he brought him a girlfriend.

"Excuse me, if anybody's interested, I already have a girlfriend." Neil said as everyone is shocked to discover that Neil has started dating another girl.

"There's no way-wait what?" Persephone said in shocked with John.

A girl walks out from the door behind Neil

"You ready to go, honey?" Girl asked him if he is ready to go.

You rejected me too many times, Persephone. I couldn't wait for you forever. Besides, Cecilia thinks my psoriasis is sexy." Neil said the truth to Persephone.

Neil and Cecilia walk out holding each other's arms

"I can't believe he's over me." Persephone said in shocked

"I can't believe I won and have her to myself." John said as his dance in victory.

"I can't believe I'm out 34 grand!" Mort said as he was outed 34 grand of money.

"I can't believe it's not butter!" Hahahahaha! Peter said his joke and he is laughing

"Stick around, more Family Guy MC coming' up!" Frank said to the audience

No we cut to the Mallque/Griffin living room again. As Meg, Frank, Lois and Peter are arguing

"Peter, how could you have tried to sell our daughter?" Lois said in anger for doing this to Persephone.

As Meg took a whack at her father while Frank holds her hand for support.

"Yeah dad, she my sister for crying out loud!" Meg shouted at him for selling out her twin.

"Alright, Lois. I don't want this to ruin our date night, so I'll make it up to ya." Peter said as he has a plan.

The camera zooms out to show the greeting card shelf in the living room. Peter picks up a card and hands it to Lois. While Frank took out tickets and hand it to Meg.

"Oh, Peter." Lois said as she reading the card "I'm sorry I tried to sell our daughter".

"Yeah, you dunno how hard it was to find one of those in English." Peter said as he work hard to find that card all day.

"Oh, Frank." Meg said as she reading the tickets "Cat's the musical, I always wanted to go".

"Yeah, you dunno how hard it was to find one of those in Quahog." frank said as he work hard to find those show tickets all day.

Now we cut to the bathroom. Stewie's standing up on top of the sink counter getting ready for the night and talking to Rupert and Frank Jr.

"Ahh, tonight the babysitter comes, Guys. Lovely LaDonne. Mmm..." Stewie said as he get ready for his day.

"Whoopee!" Frank Jr said in sarcastic tone as he doesn't care.

As Stewie puts the container of baby power in his diaper.

Oh, hey LaDonne. Hey, what's goin' on? How are you? Yea. Oh, just me, Stewie. Just, uh, bein' myself. Uh...yea..Oh, uh, wha, this here? Just my package. Yea, just, just uh, just uh, my package. God delivered it, I signed for it, the world keeps on spinning. Yea. Stewie said as he has an imitating conversation with himself.

Now we cut to later that evening, as LaDonne, Frank and Stewie are playing Jenga.

As LaDonne removes a piece and the tower collapses and Frank Jr does a victory dance.

"Oh no! Hahahahaha!" LaDonne said as she laughs

"Oh, Jenga, there it is! Hahahahaha! Oh well, I guess that's why they call it Jenga, Mm? Hahahahaha!" Stewie said as he laughs again

As LaDonne pinches Stewie's cheek

"Frank Jr! Stewie! You are so cute I can't even stand it!" LaDonne said as she girls out from the babies' cuteness.

"Oh, thank you. I'm having a good time too." Frank said as he feel happy knowing that someone appreciates him.

"I hope I don't make any social faux pas, like I did at Pamela and Tommy Lee's dinner party." Stewie said as he sets up a cutaway about himself with Pamela and Tommy Lee at a party.

 **Cutaway**

The scene shifts to Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson's dinner party. Stewie walks in.

"Hi, Sorry I'm late. I was visiting my aunt in the hospital, she has hep...atitis...Oooo, sorry" Stewie leaves.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we cut to the girl's locker room at the high school as they undress and change to their P.E clothes.

"Neil is such an amazing guy. We just make an absolutely perfect couple." Cecilia said as she is crushing on her new boyfriend and it made Persephone madder than ever.

"Y'know, Neil liked me first. And I WAS gonna go out with him when I was ready to settle for him. Get your own spaz!" Persephone said to Cecilia in a jealous tone.

As John is listening behind the change room door and he is worried. While Persephone walks off and the gym teacher shows up

All right, ladies, enough chit-chat. Take it off, get in the shower, and bounce around for me. Gym teacher said what his class is doing today and John jump him, drag him away.

Now we cut to the Mallque/Griffin residence in the kitchen as Lois feed both Stewie and Frank Jr their Juice.

"Sweetie, your daddy, Frank, Meg and I are going to the movies tonight. How would you two like LaDonne to babysit?" Lois asked them about having LaDonne to babysit

"YES! Oh, I'm going to wow her tonight, Frank Jr. I'm gonna be cooler than Brian when he hangs out at the bowling alley." Stewie said to Frank Jr as he sets up a cutaway about Brian hangs out at the bowling alley.

 **Cutaway**

The scene shifts to the bowling alley. Brian is wearing a white shirt and jeans, with a cig carton under one sleeve. He also has blonde hair and a mustache.

"That's what I love about high school girls, I keep gettin' older, they stay the same age hehehehe, yes they do, yes they do" Brian said while he chuckles as women walk by him.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we are at the woodshop class at the high school. As Persephone is acting desperate and John is following behind to stop her for doing something stupid.

"Please go out with me. I'm just trying to make Neil jealous. I promise I'll pay and everything." Persephone said as the kid is considering it until he spots John glowing gold and looking scary as fuck.

"Yeah, uh, that sounds cool, but I'm gonna be in the hospital that night." The kid said as he made an excuses since John is scary him.

The kid takes the nailgun that he's holding and fires nails into his stomach. The kid rolls around the woodshop floor in pain and drags himself off-screen.

Now we cut to the living room, as Frank Jr and Stewie's in a robes while lighting candles when the doorbell rings and they open the door to see LaDonne in front of them.

"Hi, gorgeous man." LaDonne said hello to them.

"Oh, you. Must I lock up your tongue with the rest of the silver? Hahahaha!" Stewie said as he and Frank Jr laughs.

"Stewie, this is Jeremy." LaDonne said something shocking to the babies which was more Stewie than Frank Jr.

As Jeremy walks through the front door

"Hey, little dudes. So you're the guy who's been trying to steal my girlfriend." Jeremy said his hellos to the babies.

"Wha-you...GIRLFRIEND?! Oh, what kind of sick, twisted game are you playing at?" Stewie said as he shouts at LaDonne in anger while Frank Jr face palms his face.

"Stewie sounds a little cranky. I'll put him to bed." LaDonne said as she takes Frank Jr and Stewie in her arms.

As LaDonne starts to walk away towards upstairs, as Stewie grabs Jeremy's hat.

"HA! I got your hat! Take that, hatless! Now go back to the quad and resume your hackey-sack tourney! I'm not going to lie down for some frat boy bastard with his damn Teva sandals and his Skoal Bandits and his Abercrombie and Fitch long-sleeve, open stitched, crew-neck henley smoking his sticky buds out of a soda can while watching his favorite downloaded Simpson episodes every night! Yes, we all love Mr. Plow - oh, you've got the song memorized, do you? SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE! That is exactly the kind of idiot you see at Taco Bell at one in the morning - the guy who just whiffed his way down the bar-skank ladder." Stewie said as he insults him as LaDonne tucks them inside their beds in their room.

"Goodnight, Frank Jr. Goodnight, Stewie." LaDonne said good night to the babies.

"If he wants to throw hands, I'll throw hands! I tell you..." Stewie said as he ready to fight Jeremy until LaDonne puts a pacifier in Stewie's mouth, Frank Jr counts his five fingers before Stewie falls asleep.

When it reach zero, both Frank Jr and Stewie drifts off to sleep.

Now we cut to Mort's Pharmacy, Neil and Cecilia are in mid-kiss

As Persephone walks in the door with someone new while john is hiding behind them.

"Oh, hey. Neil and Cecilia. I didn't expect to see you here! Meet Jake, my boyfriend!" Persephone said as she brought Jake tucker.

"I want some BB's! My dad lets me shoot at cats!" Jake said as he whines like a child.

"Oh! Hi Persephone! Neil and I are celebrating our two-week anniversary! Oh, it seems like only yesterday he was only a stranger videotaping me through the window." Cecilia said as she tells Persephone about her and Neil are celebrating our two-week anniversary.

"Big deal. He did that to me 3 years ago. And he gave me the tapes for Christmas." Persephone said as she brag about something that Jake did which mad john jealous.

"He gave me DVDs. The production values were amazing, much better than Kramer vs. Predator." Cecilia said as she sets up a cutaway about Kramer vs. Predator.

 **Cutaway**

The scene shifts to Ted Kramer and a Predator sitting at a table.

"You want him back? You can't just disappear for three months and suddenly decide you want him back! You can't have him!" Kramer shouted as a glass of wine was swiped into the wall.

There's a bit of a pause, and then the Predator shoots Kramer.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to Persephone and Cecilia.

Well, I'm glad Neil's over me anyway. I'm with Jake now. Right, Jake? Persephone said as she asked Jake if they are dating.

"Maybe someday we'll get married and you can go up on me." Jake said if she is good, they get married and she can go down on him. Which made john snap out of his mind.

As John couldn't take it anymore and he rush over the counter. He grabs Neil by his shirt

"Neil! I want Persephone to be my girlfriend!" John said to him that he is willing to ask him to take Persephone off his back and make her his girlfriend.

"What?" Persephone said in shocked as john still loves her.

As John walks over to Persephone and he holds her hands.

"I was wrong to drive you away from that incident. We belong together." John said as he tells her that he still loves her with all his heart. Which made Persephone blush in awe with love. But she snap out of it and questions his resolved.

"Of course I'm understandably skeptical of your newfound affection for me." Persephone said as her question him if his confession is true are not, which cause john to do something drastic.

"Neil, you still got that contract your dads drew up?" John asked him if he still has the contract that Mort and peter drew up.

As Neil pulls out the contract from behind the pharmacy counter.

"Gimme that!" John shouted at Neil.

As John signs the contract and kisses Persephone, as Cecilia turn to Jake.

"You wanna hook up?" Cecilia talking to Jake

"BUY ME SOMETHING!" Jake shouted at her to buy him something.

Damn it! Neil shouted as he loses his new girlfriend to a freak.

Now we cut to outside by the football bleachers at the high school

"I can't believe we're going out. This is so cool!" Persephone said in excitement as she and john are now together.

As Persephone kisses John again and john feel whole with her in his life. Until Neil appears to lifts up Persephone's shirt and he starts to undo Persephone's bra, john pushes him back while Persephone pulls away.

"Neil, Neil, n-not so fast." Persephone said as she covers herself.

"Hahahaha! Uh, Persephone, John need to fufill your contractual obligations." Neil said as he laughs like a supervillain.

"What are you talking about?" Persephone and john asked him while feel scared for some reason.

As Neil laughs menacingly which made Tyler wet himself in his room for some reason.

Now we join John and Persephone inside Neil's room. As Neil's laying on the floor in his underwear.

"All right, John, according to the contract, every night, you have to put on my pajamas. My mom's record is 12 seconds." Neil said as he tells john that he has to put Neil on his pajamas every night.

"Neil, I think you're old enough to-"Persephone said until Neil cutting Persephone off.

"GO!" Neil shouted at him to begin as he runs away with john following him.

As Neil won't stop laughing and kicking while John tries to tell him to hold still and put on his pajamas.

Now we cut to the stairs in the Mallque/Griffin house

"Oh, LaDonne, I thought we could watch a DVD together. I picked up the first season of Jiminy Glick, oh, imagine being that guy for a day." Stewie said as he sets up a cutaway about himself being on Jiminy Glick show.

 **Cutaway**

The scene shifts to the set of Primetime Glick.

While Stewie is all dressed up like Jiminy Glick, next to Colin Farrell.

"Colin Farrell! So, I was talking to my wife, Dixie, the other day, and she was saying that you weren't a very good actor. And I agreed with her. Now, now why, now why Colin? Why would we both say that?" Stewie said as he keeps moving around.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we cut back to Stewie going down the stairs with Frank Jr following down.

As Stewie and Frank Jr views LaDonne and Jeremy kissing.

"All right, that's it! Jeremy must be destroyed!" Stewie said in anger as he want revenge.

"Ah oh?" Frank Jr said to Tyler who appear right behind them as he stay in the house.

Now we cut to Jeremy's house at night.

As Jeremy walks into his house, and tries to turn on the lights, but the lights won't come on.

"Mom?" Jeremy said as he calls for his mom but no one answers.

A shadow of Stewie runs by him with Frank Jr chasing him.

"Dad? Mom? Is anyone there?" Jeremy asked for his parents as he gets scared.

As Jeremy passes a mirror with Stewie sitting in a chair smoking in the reflection. He turns around, but no one's in the chair with the shadow of Frank Jr chase right after him.

"Uh...little dudes? Y-you in here?" Jeremy asked if Stewie and Frank Jr were there.

As Jeremy turns back around and a note is on the mirror. "FOR JEREMY" is written on the front of the note.

Then Jeremy takes the note. It's a poorly-drawn picture of Stewie and LaDonne holding hands, while Jeremy's ghost is floating in the sky.

As Stewie runs out from the front door and attacks Jeremy with a lead pipe.

"I say, I think this is how you change a tire, but what would I know? I'm just a baby!" Stewie said ironically which freaks out Jeremy.

As Stewie smacks Jeremy upside the head with the pole.

Now we cut to outside, where Stewie is stuffing a bound and gagged Jeremy into Brian's car.

"Here's your iPod, so you can listen to The Streaks while you gasp for air!" Stewie said as he about to close the trunk.

As Jeremy mumbles something to correct him.

"Oh, The Strokes, right." Stewie said as he shut the trunk tight and walking away. Until Frank Jr and Tyler saw the whole thing plot to get Jeremy out of the trunk and get even with stewie.

Now we join ourselves outside in the Goldman's backyard.

As John is pulling a big plow with Persephone push from behind.

"Boy, this was a better acquisition than I thought. We may even be able to put in some sorghum this year." Mort said as they watch john do his work with his girlfriend.

Now back to the living room, where Stewie and LaDonne are sitting on the couch.

"So, uh, anyway, um, hey! I made you a mix tape! I don't have a dual cassette player, so I had to hold the tape recorder up to the radio, so the quality's kinda sucky, but, y'know, all the songs describe my feelings." Stewie said as he pass a mix tape to get LaDonne to love him, but it didn't work.

As LaDonne starts crying which Stewie notice.

"I'm sorry, Stewie. I'm just upset. Jeremy stopped calling me." LaDonne said as she explains to Stewie that her boyfriend stopped calling her.

"HE WHAT? That blaggard! Oh, come here, let me just, let me just hold you for a while." Stewie said as he fake being anger since him being the reason that Jeremy stopped calling her. So he comfort her with a hug.

As Stewie cops a feel of her boobs and gets slapped by LaDonne.

"Stewie, NO! That is a bad place to touch! No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no." LaDonne said as she rejects Stewie's advances.

'B-But...but I...I...you...I...Waaaaaaaah!" Stewie said until he starts crying

No more TV! LaDonne said as she tells Stewie that he is not to watch TV.

"Well, how about no more job? Hmm? You hear that miss fussybritches? I shall see you fired, damn you! I thought we were going to go all the way and die together like Hitler and Eva Braun!" Stewie said as he threat her while he starts a cutaway about Hitler and Eva Braun.

 **Cutaway**

The scene shifts to the inside of a bomb shelter underground Hitler and Eva are sitting on the floor.

"We do everything together, ja?" Hitler asked.

"Ja" Eva answered.

"You got your poison?" Hitler asked.

"Mmm" Eva said.

"Ok, one...two...three" Hitler counted down. Both of them open their mouths and start to put the pill up to their mouths, but stop.

"You didn't do it!" Hitler shouted.

"You didn't do it either!" Eva shouted back.

"Ok, ok, all right, this time we really have to do it. Ok, ready? Ok" Hitler suggested.

"One, two…" they both nearly swallow the pill. But when they see the other won't do it either, they point and laugh.

"You want me to kill myself and you're not going to! You suck! You suck!" Eva taunted.

"You suck!" Hitler taunted.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the kitchen, as everyone's sitting at the table and Lois is doing dishes.

"Hey Stewie, there's something thunkin' around in the trunk of my car and I can't get in there because somebody busted the lock. You have, uh, any idea what that's about?" Brian asked him on what inside his trunk of his car.

"Oh? Oh, that, pfft. It's this whole, it's this whole crazy thing." Stewie said as he reads his newspaper and while not telling Brian the whole truth.

While Frank Jr holds a note to Brian which had said, he is lying and there is a guy trap in the trunk.

"Somehow I believe you!" Brian said as he nodded to Frank Jr's truth.

As John and Persephone comes in the back door. He's got horseshoes on her feet, the bottom of his feet are all dirty and Persephone's clothes are ripped. She takes off the horseshoes from John's feet and throws one of them.

"Hey, this is not a barn, young man and young lady." Lois said as she snaps at them for leaving their horseshoes on the floor, until Frank smacks her on the head to be more sympathetic.

"Ugg, I'm just so exhausted! You know, I thought I'd be happy being with John, but I'm not! Neil is ruins our time together, this is horrible!" Persephone said as she starts crying and John, Meg and Emily went to comfort her.

"Oh, sweetheart, we'll figure out some way to get you out of this. Brian, Frank and Tyler did you three find any loopholes in the contract?" Lois said as she asked the trio if they found a loophole.

"Nope, it's airtight." Brian said as he look at the contract and found no loop hole

"The only way out is if Neil commits an infidelity." Tyler said as he explains he finds a clause in the contract stating that it is null and void if Neil cheats onPersephone.

"Well, that's it then, we gotta find somebody to seduce Neil." Frank said as he, peter, Tyler stare at Lois.

"Who, me?" Lois said in question as she thinks she can't do this.

"What the hell guys!" Emily said as she is piss off at them for thinks such an idea.

"Well, Emily, if not you Lois, than who? Beverly D'Angelo?" Peter said as he tells her if he should get Beverly D'Angelo to do the plan.

"Cause I don't think she'd do it. And Mr. Griffin doesn't even know how to get a hold of her." Tyler said as Emily begins to talk to frank about making a backup plan if this doesn't work.

Until Frank gets a phone call from the real Chris and he tells him that his wife in labor.

As everyone known that Lois doesn't know about Chris being replace by a clone and he is married to Lana.

So Frank makes an excuses for Lois so he and the other people who know this secret can be there for Chris.

"Um Mom, me, pops, Frank Jr, Brian, Meg and the boys will talk about deal with Neil later. But my friend's wife is going into labor and he need us. Oh and Chris watch over Mom, Be back soon." Frank said as they rush toward the quahog hospital.

At the hospital, Lana was crying screams of pain as she in her final stage of delivery.

Everyone else was outside awaiting the outcome.

"I hope she's alright, I couldn't bare to live without her." Chris said

"Hmm, I wish as well." Frank thought to himself

Now back to John and Tyler talking about stuff.

"Are you okay about being with Persephone?" Tyler asked john

"Yeah, I'm over Brooke, I just realized that I like Persephone." John said

"Oh, right, how could I forget?" Brian said sarcastically as he joins in the conversation.

As Doctor Hartman then came out of the operating room and went to the family.

"I have good news and bad news." Doctor Hartman said to the family who knew his secret.

As everyone gasped in unison from this revelation.

"What's the bad news?" Peter asked him about the bad news.

"My son dropped out off Harvard and went to Brown, he wanted to..." Doctor Hartman said as Brian then interrupted abruptly.

"Want about Lana!?" Chris shouted as his panic for his wife.

As Doctor Hartman then went back to the point of this conversation.

"Oh, yes that's the good news, she is fine and it's a healthy baby girl." Doctor Hartman said as he gave the good news at last.

As everyone then signed in relief, they all went in and saw Lana with the baby.

Chris became all teary eyed that their child had delivered, though no one knows that.

Then Chris leaned down and hug his wife

"You did well Lois, she is perfect." Chris said as he smile at his child.

As Lana didn't care what Lois or anyone else thought but didn't let them see it, she did thought that the child was perfect.

"Her name shall be, Clara." she said her child's name.

As they leave the hospital, Chris take Lana on a wheelchair while she holds their baby girl.

Oh, Chris, isn't he amazing? Lana asked him of their baby being here.

"Is she smart, or is she... like me?" Chris asked her if their daughter was smart or retarted like him and his father.

"She's perfect." Lana said her answer.

As they got into their car and wave good bye to frank and those who knew their secret, their day has already becomes sunset.

Now we cut to the living room, LaDonne is sitting on the couch looking depressed.

"Oh, hello, LaDonne. Listen, I certainly hope you'll excuse last night's indiscretion, it was just-oh my God, LaDonne! What's that on your neck?" Stewie said out loud.

As Stewie blows a dart into LaDonne's neck. LaDonne is knocked out and falls off the couch. Stewie pokes the unconscious LaDonne's boob, laughs, and was about to runs off.

Until Frank Jr blows a dart into Stewie's neck. Stewie is knocked out and falls on the floor. Frank Jr grabs the keys to the car from Stewie pocket then he pokes the unconscious Stewie, Tyler then kick him in the ball, they both laughs, and runs off.

Later that night, Lois comes home.

"LOIS! Oh thank God you're here, Lois! It was all her friends, they, they were doing marijuana and heroin!" Stewie said as he pronounces it "haro-een" and marijuana, "mara-ju-ana."

While Frank Jr and Tyler are getting more piss off.

"And they were taking Exema and touching each other!" Stewie said as he lied threw his face.

"LaDonne, wake up this instant!" Lois said as she kicks LaDonne

"Wha? I dunno..." LaDonne said in confusion.

"You know what? Don't bother LaDonne! You are fired!" Lois said as she piss off Frank Jr and he attacked.

"Tyler." Frank Jr shouted for him to attack.

As Tyler blows a dart into both Lois and Stewie's neck. Both are knocked out and falls on the ground. As Frank Jr and Tyler drag both Stewie and Lois into Frank Jr and Stewie room for a mind wipe.

Now we cut to outside of the house, and then back inside. As LaDonne has her purse and is ready to head out the door.

"Well, I really don't know how this happened, but I guess this is the last time I get to see you. I'm...I'm gonna miss you, little guy. Oh!" LaDonne said as she reaches into purse, pulls out a tape.

"This is for you." LaDonne said as she gave the mix tape to Frank Jr

"She...she made me a mix tape?! Oh dear God Stewie, what have you done?!" Frank Jr said as he regrets not stopping Stewie actions.

As Frank Jr jumps out of Tyler arms and runs outside screaming for LeDonne, while he tries to pursues her, but she has disappeared.

Now we cut to a motel as Peter, Frank, Meg and Persephone are outside one of the motel rooms.

"All right, you all set honey?" Peter asked Lois from inside the room.

"Oh, I can't believe I'm doing this. It's so disgusting, but it's for my little girl." Lois said

"Dad, how do you know Neil will show up?" Persephone asked her father if this plan work.

"Don't worry, Persephone. I sent him an invitation he couldn't refuse." Peter said as he feel confident.

As Peter tapes a big sign that says "X-MEN CONVENTION" on the door and they run off into the neighboring hotel room.

As Neil rides in on a Segway in a poorly made Wolverine costume.

"Hmm...strange...these conventions usually have Segway parking." Neil: said as he question this convention Segway parking.

As Neil opens the door

"Hello? Am I too late for the Q and A?" Neil said as he goes in the room.

While Lois dressed as Mystique closes the door.

"Yeah, but you're just in time for the T and A. Growls" Lois said as she growls and push Neil on the bed.

"Mrs. Griffin! What are you—?" Neil said in shocked on what she is wearing.

"Shh, you can call me Mystique." Lois said as she shush his mouth.

As Lois jumps on top of Neil.

"Mrs. Griffin! This is wrong!" Neil said as he gets turned on while trying to escape.

Until Emily and John open the door with Frank with a camera.

"Well, well, well. Look at this, John. Your master is violating both your contract and my wife." Emily said as she brought Frank to film the evident to stop this contract.

"John! I wasn't doing anything! Mrs. Griffin was just- OWW, you're bending it." Neil said as he tries to explain himself until he feel pain from Lois twisting his arm.

"I don't care. You've nullified the contract. I'm free!" John said out loud.

"Free? I don't understand, John. You don't want to be my boyfriend?" Persephone question him.

"Well, of course I did, but I guess I was just jealous of you paying more attention to Neil instead of me." John said as he feel bad for telling her that.

"I see. Well, John, I want you to be with me because you WANT to be with me, not because you have to." Persephone said her peace.

As she was about to walk away but john grabs her hand.

"And I want to, right know!" john said as he kiss her on the lips to show her his love.

As Frank came close to Neil face and laid out his demands.

"Listen up Neil, because I'm going to say this once. To rip that contract and forget this whole thing and I won't show this video of you raping Lois or let Emily used her kung Fu on you, okay!" Frank said his demands in a scary voice and Emily was doing kung Fu moves which made Neil nodded in agreement.

As Neil rips up the contract.

"Thank you, Neil." Emily said as he nodded.

Neil pulls out a phone and starts dialing.

Cecilia? It's The Gold-man. How 'bout we fire up the ol' Segway and find a nice, quiet field to do long division in? I-I mean 'a nice, quiet field in which to do long division', sorry. Neil said as he holds hand up to the phone.

"Sorry, everybody." Neil said his goodbyes to them as he went back to talking on the phone.

"Ok, I'm on my way." Neil said as he leave the room and got on his Segway.

"He's going back to Cecilia? I can't believe I'm actually jealous." Persephone said as she hold John's hand as he agree with her.

"I can't believe you actually touched him." Frank said to Lois as he look at her dress as Mystique and getting turn on. He thinks that he might do something with this idea with Meg later tonight.

"I still can't believe it's not butter! Hahahaha!" Peter said as he ate butter toast as he laughs.

"Next season, Lois run for mayor of Quahog. Does she have what it takes? We'll find out, don't miss it." Tyler said to the audience.

While the credits are rolling, we cut to the living room to once again see Emily, Tyler, Frank Jr and Stewie bored on the couch.

"Well, here we are again. Another Saturday night with basic cable but with me babysitting you this time." Emily said as she has to take her turn to babysitter since Persephone is now dating John.

"Yep. Sigh, I suppose none of us are really cut out for love, and we-OH MY GOD! JEREMY'S STILL IN THE TRUNK! Oh God, how long's it been? Uh...let's see...two weeks, yep." Frank Jr said as he realizes that they forgot to release her boyfriend.

"Yep, he's dead." Tyler said in agreement.

"Definitely dead." Stewie said also in agreement.

 **Chapter ends**

 **I hope everyone enjoyed! This is thanking for pen123 and Family Guy Fan writer 15, Thank you all for cutaways, scenes, favoring, having me on alerts and with that. So enjoy and see you next chapter.**


	10. Chapter 59: Breaking Out is Hard To Do

**Chapter 59: Breaking Out is Hard To Do**

 **Narrator** _  
_ _Fresh out the net box  
Stop, look, and watch  
Ready yet, get set  
It's Family Guy!_

We see paparazzi taking photos of the cast as they come out of the limo and they walk on the red carpet _._

 **Chorus:** _  
_ _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

First it show Frank waling out of the limo with a poster with the words "oh" and he poses for the camera.

Then its shows Meg comes in looking all sexy as she signs autographs while she winks at the fans.

Then it turn to Lois comes in hopping while grabbing rose as she gives a kiss toward the fans.

 **Chorus:**

 _Check it, check it, check it  
Now this is just an introduction  
Before I blow your mind  
The show is All of That and yes we do it all the time_

Then it shows Frank Jr poses as he pull his hat down his chest as he throws a rose to the Fans.

Then next person to show up on the carpet is Stewie. As he flips his hat back to his head while he give autographs to fans.

Then Brian comes in sliding on the red carpet as he waves at the fan as he walks in.

 **Chorus:**

 _So sit your booty on the floor or in a chair  
Ground or in the air  
Just don't go nowhere_

Then Emily comes in give autographs as she smiles at the fans as she tells one of her fans to call her.

Then the scene shows Persephone puts a rose on her mouth with a sexy angry look on her face.

 **Chorus:**

 _Cause everything we do  
It's all of that!  
When entertaining you  
We all of that!_

Then Chris shimming down the carp as he gives the fan a shout out.

Then Peter slide towards the carpet as he flips his hat back on his head.

 **Chorus:**

 _My posse and my crew  
It's all of that!  
So sit still cause we're coming right back_

Then the scene shows John throws a rose at his fans.

As the scene, changes to Tyler puts on rose his mouth as he gives everyone thumbs up.

 _ **Chorus:**_

 _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

Then scene change to the Family Guy MC Cast walks down the stairs as they take a group photo while looking gangsters of the 80. All this while music ends as the scene fades to black.

As we join the Mallque/Griffin family at the Stop N' Shop while Lois and the kids are splitting up in a grocery store

"Okay, now don't wander too far, kids, you know more children get kidnapped in the grocery store than anywhere else." Lois said as she sets up a cutaway about children get kidnapped in the grocery store than anywhere else.

 **Cutaway**

The scene cuts to a mother comparing products as a kidnapper is sneaking up on her kid, trying to get him.

"Hey!" the mother shouted.

"Aaah! You got me!" the kidnapper was caught.

"Oh-ho, not quick enough" the mother chuckled.

"Not quick enough, no. I was close though" the kidnapper said.

"You were close" the mother added.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Meanwhile in the vegetable aisle with Lois, Meg, Emily, Frank Jr and Stewie.

"I'm gonna go get some oranges, Emily watch the babies. Stewie and Frank Jr, Here, hold the rest of these bags for Mommy and grandma." Lois said as she tells Emily to watch the babies while she and Meg get oranges and she handing over the plastic bags to said babies.

"Oh, what brilliant parenting, Lois, leave a tiny infant with a plastic bag. You know, I might just asphyxiate myself just to teach you a lesson." Stewie said as he challenged her by asphyxiate himself.

As Stewie precedes to try and put the plastic bags over him several times but fails.

"Here I go! Just like that boy from INXS! I'm going to do it! I'm going to do it!" Stewie said as He cannot fit the bag over his head and Emily grabs the bags from him.

"BLAST! Good Lord, Lois, either I was a C-section or you're Wonder Woman." Stewie said as he complains if he was a C-section or you're Wonder Woman.

Now we join the family near the milk section.

"Chris, would you and the boys run and get some milk and make sure to take it from the back." Lois asked him if he and the rest of the boys can gets some milks and come back.

As Chris, Frank Jr, John and Tyler walk toward the freezer to get the milk. A hand in black and white reaches out to Chris, Frank Jr, John and Tyler and pulls Them through the freezer. Chris Frank Jr, John and Tyler are now in the video for Take On Me, by a-ha.

 **Frank Jr and** **a-ha band**

 _[take on me]_

 _Take me on [take on me]_

 _I'll be gone In a day or two..._

Per the video, Chris, Frank Jr, John and Tyler are soon chased by motorcycle guys. The boys struggles to get out but finally escapes and comes out in the egg section.

"Chris, boys, where have you been?" Lois asked her son and his gang on where they go.

"I DON'T KNOW!" Chris shouted as he freaks out.

Now we join the family at the Cash register, as Lois buying food.

"$53.99." Employee said the number of money that need payment for the food they all need at home.

"Oh no, I forgot to go to the bank. Well, I'm a little short, I guess I'll have to put the ham back." Lois said as she is caught short on cash.

As Lois proceeds to put the ham back, then she takes a look around to see if anyone is looking, and sneaks the ham in her purse while walking toward the exit.

As we see the Kidnapper near the mother and her child again.

"You know, I got some candy in my car if your kid wants some." Kidnapper said as he tries to help her.

"Oh, great! Hey, wait a second!" Mother said until she realized that she was being trick by him again.

"Aaah, you got me, you got me. I'll get him though, I'll get him." Kidnapper said as he tells her that he still get him.

"Oh, I bet you will, I bet you will." Mother said as she walks away with her son while the Kidnapper look so smug for next time they meet.

As we join the family in the kitchen inside the Mallque/Griffin house, as Lois put out the food on the table and Brian notice an extra ham on the table.

"Hey, is that a ham I thought you put that back." Brian asked her that he thought that Lois put that ham back.

"Oh, um... no, I put the other ham back..." Lois said as she makes an excuses to get out of this conversation.

"I don't remember another ham." Brian said as he doesn't remember another ham.

"Well, you were too busy eye-ballin' that Redbook with Glenn Close on the cover." Lois said as she made an excuse that Brian was too busy eyeballing that Redbook with Glenn Close on the cover.

"Hey! She is a handsome woman." Brian said as he likes Glenn Close.

"Well, well, look who's carrying a little crush for Glenn Close. What a surprise. Although it's not the first time you've surprised me." Stewie said as he sets up a cutaway about the last time Brian surprised him.

 **Cutaway**

We see Brian walking around, wearing a pink dress, red shoes, and lipstick.

"Oh, I have so much stuff to do today, I have to do laundry, then I have a piano lesson, then I have to make dinner, I am so busy, better hurry!" the dog said.

"LOIS! I want my graham crack…oh…" Stewie entered.

"Hey…" Brian stopped.

"Hey... um... playing a little dress-up?" Stewie asked.

"Yeah…" Brian answered.

"Yeah, good, it's... fun to pretend. So, um, listen, if you see Lois, tell her…" Stewie suggested.

"Graham cracker" Brian reassured.

"Graham cracker, yes, yes, that's it. All right, so, uh, I'm just gonna go out in the hallway and throw up about something else" Stewie walked away slowly

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join Chris at his new high school life under the name Donny Hebrewberg, a 15-year-old outgoing and rebellious wild child who brags to his friends about scoring tickets to Van Halen.

One of the friends suggests taking a girl who they think is cute, but Donny declares he's not into girls anymore...he's into women.

Ms. Abbot, the sensually hot teacher is seen walking through the halls of the school, attracting the attention of many young boys and nobody know that she and Chris are married.

Chris makes a very stupid move trying to hit on her by inviting her to the concert and asking for a handjob, resulting in a month's worth of detention by her, Lana abbot who is his teacher/his wife.

Can I go to the bathroom? Chris asked his wife about going to the bathroom.

"No. No talking in detention, Mr. Hebrewberg." Lana said as she walks toward his desk.

"All right, I'm sorry for what I did. I promise I won't do it again." Chris said his apology

"You're in a lot of trouble, Donny." Lana said as she talks to Chris in a pretend mad tone.

"Wait, you're not gonna tell my family, are you? My mom will kick my ass. She... she's crazy." Chris said as panics he thinks as she gave up on him and told his mom.

"What were you trying to do, anyway? Impress your friends?" Lana asked him what he was trying to do.

"Well, you know, you're, um..." Chris said as he tries to explain but she interrupts him.

"You have a little crush on me?" Lana said to him in a flirting tone.

"Hahahahahha, No." Chris said as he laughs nervously.

"No. So, you... You don't want me." Lana said in a sad tone in hopes on Chris doing her.

"No. Yeah. I... I don't know what I'm supposed to say right now." Chris said as he tries to get out of this conversation while chewing gum in his mouth which was spotted by Lana.

"Is that gum in your mouth, Donny?" Lana asked Chris to spit out his gum by putting her hand near his mouth.

As Chris spits out his gum and she puts the gum in her mouth, which turn on Chris.

"Mmm. You know, I've been watching you all year, Donny. When you hit that shot to beat Fairfield and you were jumping up and down in your little Larry Bird short-shorts and sweating like ajar of pickles in the hot sun... SIGHS Oh, God. That was so hot." Lana said as she comes on to Chris, a very obviously inexperienced virgin, and invites him into her office.

"Is this really happening? This is happening." Chris said in question tone.

"It's happening right now. In my office." Lana said as she drags him towards her offices.

"Okay. Awesome. So, I... I'm totally in. How do you want to do it? 'Cause I made sex before, lots of ways. So you want to go straight to hand jobs or eating me out or taking me from behind?" Chris said something stupid about what they going to do while having sex since he forgot about his whole experience of sex.

"I'll teach you." Lana said as she drag him to her office and locked the door.

"I feel like a virgin again." Chris said as his voice cracks as the door is close leave his friend alone.

"Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God!" Chris said as he begins a sexual relationship with his teacher, where his friend can hear the action.

As we see that this affair continues over several occasions, Chris bring drinks to his new house where we see his wife in a bathing suit near their pool.

Chris became Jewish and he is reading in Hebrew. As Lana does a suck on a cock hand sign while Chris read? He see it and his Hebrew thought it was for him.

Now we see Chris in class as he gets his quiz back from his wife with an A + with a message, I'm going to sit on your face tonight. Which has shocked Chris with a boner.

"Hey, Donny, what'd you get?" Chris friend asked as he read the note on his test which shocked him too.

As we join Chris and Lana as They culminating during a school assembly. While Timmy is giving his speech about being school president.

"Gasping, you're getting so good at this!" Lana said as she humps on Chris's cock behind the stage curtain.

"I promise to do my best to lower prices at the school stores and, um..." Timmy said as he gives his speech but was interrupted by the sounds of Chris and Lana love making.

"All of our practice is really paying off!" Lana said as she moaning with pleasure.

"I like the sound of that." Timmy said in an agreement as he wants to listen.

As Lana is moaning while they were on the piano with their rhythmic banging. Which caused the teacher to stop Timmy speech to find out where the noise is coming from.

"Timmy, stop. Hold on a second." the teacher said as he raised the stage curtain.

This is when they are caught having sex behind the stage curtain. As audience gasps

"Aaaahahahaaa!" Lana screams as her orgasms on the piano while they were on the stage

As Audience murmuring and the gym couch nods at Chris on living everyman's fantasy

"My dad's gonna kick my ass." Chris said behind Lana while they are still join by their privates.

As Ms. McGarricle runs away embarrassed, the entire student body and a few faculty members begin applauding Chris and CHEERING him.

"Calm down!" The teacher tries to settle down the student but they didn't listen.

As Audience wild cheering for Chris.

"Donny! Donny! Donny! Donny!" Audience chanting his name.

"Who's the man?" Chris said as then give him a standing ovation as he runs upfront and embraces his victory.

"Donny! Donny! Donny! Donny!" the Audience chanting his name.

"Yeah! You want some of me? Who's the man?" Chris shout at the audience.

As cheering continues as Chris was being drag away, everyone in joy. As Chris and Lana reach home to relax until the cops came busting in threw the door.

"Lana Lockhart, you are under arrest for murder of your ex-husband." The cops said as they drag her away leaving her daughter with Chris all alone in at their home.

Now we join Lois at the madeleine's boutique, shopping for clothes.

"Oh, this is cute." Lois said as she takes out a blouse and she wants to buy it.

Until Lois sees the price is $96.00. As it's too much for her to buy.

"Oh, my God!" Lois said out loud of the price of the blouse.

As she quickly puts it back, then quickly checks to see if anyone is watching, she then hides the shirt in her purse.

Then Lois giggles madly as she proceeds to take nearly everything in the store like a cartoon villain.

As we join Lois inside the family Car with all the stuff she stole from the store, as Lois breathes heavily, as she takes a huge puff of a cigarette.

"Ho-oh, my God, that was such a rush!" Lois said as she burns her arm with the lit cigarette.

"Yeah! I'm alive!" Lois said in excitement.

Now we join ourselves at the Mallque/Griffin house as Lois and peter invited Joe and bonnie for dinner.

"Thanks for having us over." Bonnie said to the couple her thanks for the invite.

"Yeah, it's a wonderful dinner, and on this beautiful new china! You guys have a lot of new stuff." Joe said as he look at the new stuff that the family gain.

"Yeah, Lois has been splurging' her ass off." Peter said as he likes his new stuff.

"Yeah... she has..." Brian said in a suspicious look with Emily.

"You know, she bought me something yesterday, but I'm not gonna tell you what it is, I want you to guess. Just close your eyes." Peter said as Joe close his eyes until he plow him with a soccer horn.

"ARGH!" Joe shouted in pain by that soccer horn.

"It's a soccer horn!" Peter said it to Joe which piss him off.

"I KNOW WHAT IT IS!" Joe shouted at him.

"Hey, is that an original Matisse?" Bonnie asked Lois if that painted was an original Matisse.

"Hey, uh, Bonnie, why don't you stop with the questions, you're ruining everyone's good time. Like Peter did when he used to entertain terminally ill kids. Brian said as he sets up a cutaway about peter, when he used to entertain terminally ill kids.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter at a children's hospital performing stand up with terminally ill kids.

"Hi there, how y'all doin' All right, so I'm at the DMV the other day, LONG lines, long lines at the DMV, but uh, you'll find all about that when you get olde- oh... umm, movin' on! So I finally tried V*** and…" Peter joked.

"Oooohhhh…" one sick kid complained.

"Oh! We got a joker in the audience. You, uh, got something to say there, Mr. Heckler?" Peter asked.

"Dying hurts" a sick kid answered.

"Tell me about it. So anyway, who hates flying?" Peter continued.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Meanwhile in the Car Zone, Emily and Brian sees Lois stealing a muffler.

Ahem. Brian and Emily said as they appear behind Lois which freaky her out.

"Oh! Brian! Emily! What are you two doing here?" Lois said in shocked as she was surprised tone.

"Mom! That is So Wrong!" Emily said to Lois since she isn't Emily's biological mother but she see her as her mother now.

"My my..." The rat said as he looked under Emily's dress.

"Isn't this a beautiful sight? You gonna though that to the dumpster when you're done?" the rat said in a sexual tone and hungry tone since he hungry for poop.

"We should ask you the same question. Lois, you're in an auto parts store stealing mufflers. This is worse than that Winona Ryder thing." Brian tells Lois her behavior is "worse than that Winona Ryder thing."

"Whaa, are you saying I'm a klepto." Lois said as she thinks he is referring to the actress's 2001 shoplifting incident

"Uh, actually I was talking about The Age of Innocence." Brian said as he sets up a cutaway about what he actually meant her performance in the 1993 film _The Age of Innocence_.

 **Cutaway**

The scene shifts to a scene of The Age of Innocence.

"It is settled, May. Our parents have consented and you and I shall be married on the first warm sunny day of spring" Newland said.

"(stiffly and in an obnoxious voice) That would be most good, Newland, most good" May said. "(Sighs) I'm sorry, but she is just awful, is there any way we could have like a topless scene or something?" Newland suggested.

"Uh…yeah" the camera guy said.

"Really?" Newland wondered.

"Yeah" the camera guy answered.

"Oh, great, all right, we got a movie" Newland said.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we are back at the Car Zone as Lois realized what she done.

"Oh, God, you're right, Brian, I'm outta control, but, I dunno what to do, I'm just hooked on the rush of shoplifting. I haven't felt a thrill like this in a long time." Lois said as she feels guilty.

"Well, I think you've had enough thrills. Huh mom?" Emily said as she tells her that she is done.

"Why don't you just put everything back, huh?" Brian asking Lois to put everything back.

"Uh, okay, Brian. You know, you really are a good friend. Here, let me rub your belly." Lois said as she gives Brian a belly rub.

"Ooooooohhhhh." Brian said as he enjoys his belly rub.

As Lois sees Brian is distracted and attempts to steal another muffler. Until Emily smacks the muffler off Lois's hand.

"Oooooohhhh, put it back, ooooohhhh." Brian said as he tells her to put it back while enjoying her belly rub.

Meanwhile at the Swanson household, we see Joe and his son Zeke watching what's On TV. Its channel six news with tom tucker and Diana Simmons

"Welcome back to Channel Five News at 10. For those of you wondering what I was writing down as we go to a commercial...its a cat...just a cat." Tom Tucker said his bit which was childish.

"In other news, police are still looking for the culprit who stole a valuable Matisse painting from the Quahog Museum of Art." Diane said as she explain that someone stole a valuable Matisse painting from the Quahog Museum of Art.

"A Matisse painting..." Joe and Zeke reply as they know somebody with a Matisse painting.

"Also, scientists announced today that if your hand is bigger than your face, you have cancer." Tom Tucker said something about that if your hand is bigger than your face, you have cancer.

As Diane holds up her hand to her face, Tom Tucker slams her face into her head.

"Ha ha! Got you! Ohh, that's not even really news." Tom Tucker said as he laughs as he fool her and what he said was not news.

Now we are back at the Mallque/Griffin Backyard as Stewie Making plane noises in a wagon with Frank Jr.

Uh-oh, Guys, we're out of gas, we'd better ask directions at that creepy and possibly haunted house! Frank Jr said as he and Stewie got out of their red wagon.

But freaky out when they saw Tyler dress as a ghost and went back in.

"Aahhh! A ghost. Oh, oh, it's okay, we got away just in time, and we got away just in time." Stewie said as he calm both his Frank Jr and his teddy bear but didn't notice john was right behind them.

"You didn't gotten away from me!" John said as he is dress like a ghost from the haunted mansion and it scared them both.

Now we join Lois with Brian, Emily and Frank Putting back all the stuff she stole in the trunk so she is able to return the merchandise.

"All right now, is that everything you stole?" Brian said as he shows Lois the evil of her ways and she repents

"Yeah, that's everything." Lois said as she is tired and still feel guilty.

"You know, you really should talk to a therapist about this, I mean it really helped Peter out when he became obsessed with that fantasy world of his." Brian said as he set up a cutaway about peter being obsessed with a fantasy world.

 **Cutaway**

The scene cuts to Peter reading a book by candle in the attic, then riding G'mork from The Neverending Story.

"Yeah!" Peter cheered.

"You're a little too heavy, buddy" G'mork complained.

Yeah!" Peter ignored him.

"We're goin' down!" G'mork complained yet again.

"Yeah!" Peter still cheered as G'mork slams into the ground.

"Yeah…" Peter stilled cheered.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we are back to the car.

"You know, Lois, we're just lucky we got this under control before the police caught on to you." Brian said as he tells her he is glad that he shows Lois the evil of her ways and she repents.

"Hold it right there, Lois, you're under arrest." Joe said as Joe Swanson and his son zeke appear to arrests her before she is able to return the merchandise.

"Oh, crap. Ok, take it easy Joe, Lois will go peacefully." Brian said as he tries to calm him down.

"Oh, my God, I am so embarrassed. Let me just grab my purse." Lois said as walk toward her car.

As Lois acts as if she's getting her purse, but then jumps into the car and drives away.

"Ha ha, sucker!" Lois said as she drives away but it just piss off both Swanson men.

As Zeke jumps near the wheelchair and he grabs a gardening hose and lassos it onto the car's bumper. The car pulls the wheelchair along with it. The wheelchair soon's falls to pieces, leaving Joe and Zeke dragging behind the car. He climbs up the hose and crawls under the car to the front window, then pushes Lois out of the car. Lois falls to the ground and Joe starts punching her.

"Sorry, Lois, regulations. I can't give you any special treatment." Joe said

"It's okay, Joe, I understand." Lois said as she understand his reason but not his son zeke cause he is still piss off.

"SHUT UP MAGGOT!" Zeke shouted as he continues punching her.

Now we join ourselves Courtroom for the quahog family court case of Lois griffin.

"Your honor, I am so sorry for stealin' all that stuff, I just couldn't control myself." Lois said as she apologies to the judge for what she has done.

"Well, Mrs. Griffin, considering this is your first offense, I've decided to go lenient and—." Judge said until he notice something is missing.

"Where the hell is my gavel?" Judge said as his notice the gavel is missing.

"Uh, huh huh... uh..." Lois said as she held the gavel and return back to the judge.

"Give me that! I sentence you to 2 years in a state prison." Judge said as he sentenced her to three years in prison, which she is resigned to serve.

"Oh, that is bogus!" Peter shouted in anger which piss off the judge.

"Order in the court! Another outburst like that, Mr. Griffin, and I'll extend the sentence!" Judge said as he just had it with peter shit.

Until Peter sneezes which piss off the judge.

"Ok, three years!" Judge said as he extend Lois's sentence

"That was a sneeze!" Frank Jr said as he defend his grandfather.

"Four years! Judge said as he extend Lois's sentence again

"I'm sorry!" Peter said as his apologies for what he did.

"Five years!" Judge said as he extend Lois's sentence a third time which piss off Frank Jr.

"You douchebag." Frank Jr said as he insults the judge for being a douchebag.

"All right, three years it is." Judge said as he extend Lois's sentence for three years.

"Three years in prison... oh, my God, what have I done?" Lois said as she feel guilty for what she has done.

"Oh, man, I haven't been this upset since I watched The Blob on television." Chris said

 **Cutaway**

The scene cuts to Chris watching The Blob.

"Look out behind you, lady, it's the Blob! I'll save you!" Chris dived into the TV and falls to the floor.

 **Cutaway Ends**

As Lois trial was over but the judge told her that she and her family must stay for their other trial.

While Cameras Clicking as Ms. Lockhart/Griffin is put on trial for statutory rape and she having sex with a minor, where the judge sentences her to 30 years in jail because the affair has resulted in a pregnancy.

"All right, everybody! Enough! I am aware that a lot of people think that this young man is not really a victim, but someone that's living the ultimate teenage boy's fantasy." Judge said as he Gavel banging to shut everyone up but didn't work.

"Absolutely." Peter shouted in excitement.

As Gallery Murmurs while John and Tyler high five each for Chris being so lucky to live the ultimate teenage boy's fantasy.

"But..." Judge said as he Gavel Banging to shut up everyone.

"This is a serious crime. Lana Lockhart/Griffin, rise for sentencing." Judge asked Lana to rise for sentence.

As she rise up her podium while she is holding a baby girl. Which has shocked Lois and Gallery to gasps. Also Frank Jr and rest of the family made shocked face so Lois doesn't know about the truth of what they know about Chris.

While Gallery Murmurs on how this teenage boy did have his hot wife get pregnant.

"The fact that this relationship has resulted in a pregnancy and you show absolutely no remorse, saying, and I quote, "I would fuck that kid again and again. He makes me feel like there's a rainbow coming out of my beaver. . ."Judge said as he read the notice of what Lana feel about the real Chris

As the Gallery Murmurs on how hot what she said and Chris smiles at Lana for express her feelings about him.

"It leaves me absolutely no choice but to levy the maximum penalty. Thirty years in the Massachusetts Women's Penitentiary. And furthermore, the court grants custody of the unborn child to his parents until Chris turns 18, at which time he will assume full custody."Judge said as his sentence Lana to Thirty years in the Massachusetts Women's Penitentiary and the court grants custody of the unborn child to his parents until Chris turns 18 to assume full custody.

As Lana look sad by her sentence and Chris is freaky out since her mom found out that he was with Lana and the Chris they had was a clone.

"Dumb-ass" Lois said as she punches Chris in the cheek as Peter is pissed because the baby will be in his custody.

As Gallery Murmurs by the sentence

Take care of our baby, Donny! Lana said as she was being drag away by the cops with Lois following.

"Lana my wife! I'll never stop loving you!" Chris shouted his confession of love.

"That is just fucking mental."Judge said until he was spit by a loggie from Frank Jr.

As a result of this scandal, Chris becomes a nationwide sensation, getting a deal for a TV movie and becoming an overall celebrity. Lois got close to frank and ask him if he knew this.

"Oh, no? Well, how about _this_?" Frank responded and with that, he showed Lois the clone Chris left index finger and started trailing a laser pointer, surprising Lois.

"What? You mean to tell me you have a prosthetic laser pointer left index finger?" Lois said.

"No, he is a robot." Frank answered.

This brought even more surprise to Lois's face.

"You're kidding!" Lois said.

"Nope, But I can't let you know about that." Brian replied.

"Why not?" Lois asked.

Putting his sunglasses on, Frank showed the clone right index finger and answered, "Neuralyze five seasons." And with that, a flash of light from the finger briefly filled Lois's then-widened eyes. Then they drag her away to jail and Frank walks away.

Meanwhile In prison we see Lois being sent to her cell.

"Here you go, meet your new friends." Guard said as he leaded Lois inside her cell.

The cell has three tough-looking women playing cards at a table.

"Umh. Hi, I'm Lois." Lois said hello to her cell mates.

"I'm Fisty!" Fisty said as she points to woman

"That's Stabby," Fisty said as she points to third woman

"And that's Balls. Pull up a chair, we're playing' cards." Fisty said as she explain that they are playing cards.

"Oh, okay. So, are those Biblical names?" Lois asked about their names were Biblical.

"Yeah, Fisty is." Fisty said her answer as Lois join the game.

Now we join the Mallque/Griffin house, completely trashed, everything is a mess. Frank, his wife Megan and son were cleans since he paid the bills and clean his clothes. But everyone on Peter's side were still dirty and in their underwear.

"Boy, I sure miss Lois. I wish she was here to clean up all this stuff." Peter said as he looks at his shoulder

"Hey, what's this?" Peter asked Brian about what on his shoulder.

"Mustard." Brian said as Frank Jr look at the mustard on his grandpa's should.

"Oh, that's right. We had hot dogs last week." Peter said as he realized that his family had hot dogs last week.

"Are you going to eat that?" Frank Jr asked Brian if he going to eat mustard on his grandpa's shoulder.

The mustard on your grandpa's shoulder, No. Brian reply no as Frank Jr went to town and lick some of it off.

"Oh, oh, kids, look. A deer." Peter said as he spots ta deer entering their house.

As the deer is in the room eating some garbage.

"Can we pet him?" Chris asked as the kids look at the deer in awe.

"No, no. Just watch." Frank said his response to Chris answer.

As Peter knocks over a can with his foot and the deer is alerted and runs away.

"Aww..." All said in union

As Stewie crawls toward the couch with his very full diaper dragging behind him

"Peter... Peter... there's, there's so much doodie in here... I can't take it anymore. I haven't eaten in four days, 'cause I, 'cause I just can't fit anymore in there. Help me!" Stewie complain to peter to change his diaper as he faints and Emily rush to him.

Meanwhile In prison, we see the family going to visit Lois.

"Okay, when we get to your mother's cage, say hello, but don't drag your ass because I wanna go to the reptile house. Oh, oh, and we gotta see those pandas." Peter said

"Peter, this isn't a zoo. It's a prison." Brian said his response with John and Tyler nodding with him.

"Yeah pops, we are here to visit Mom okay." Frank said as he had it with his stupid stuff.

"Quagmire, what are you doin' here?" Peter asked him on why he is here?

"Oh, its conjugal visit day! You know I love doin' a woman in the can! Oh! Giggedy giggedy giggedy goo!" Quagmire said as he sets up a cutaway about himself.

 **Cutaway**

"Who else but Quagmire?" a man announced.

 **Singers**

 _He's Quagmire, Quagmire,_

 _You never really know what he's gonna do next,_

 _He's Quagmire, Quagmire!_

Quagmire bursts through a background, a la Porky Pig.

"Giggedy giggedy giggedy giggedy, let's have sex!" he shouted.

The scene cuts to a fancy dinner party.

"I do hope nothing happens to spoil this fancy dinner party" the host said as Quagmire strips down to his underwear, gets up on the table, and dances.

"Giggedy giggedy giggedy giggedy giggedy giggedy giggedy giggedy goo!" Quagmire added.

"Who else but Quagmire?" the same man returned.

 **Singers**

 _He's Quagmire, Quagmire._

"Gig-ge-dy, gig-ge-dy, goo!" Quagmire ended the skit.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we are back in the Prison as the family comfort Lois while inside the prison.

"Oh, it is so good to see all of you. How is everything at home?" Lois said as she is happy that her family came to visit.

"Oh, it's horrible, Lois. I've had to do all the things that you usually do, like the other day I had to go to your book club meeting." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about him going to book club meeting.

 **Cutaway A**

The scene shifts to a book club meeting.

"Well, I really admire the mother character's admission of personal torment after her daughter's death" member 1 said.

"I disagree, I felt a total lack of ethical integrity in her readiness to abandon her children and start a life of her own" member 2 argued.

"Uh, here's another thing. The book can also be… (places book on head) a hat" Peter said.

 **Cutaway A Ends**

Now we cut back to prison cafeteria.

And the other night I had to do uh... that thing you usually do for me every Thursday night. Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about himself pleasing himself.

 **Cutaway B**

The scene cuts to Lois' bedroom, where a naked Peter grunts as he rams his head into the wall and falls down the stairs.

 **Cutaway B Ends**

Now we cut back to prison cafeteria.

"Ugh, I can't believe you're serving a three year sentence. It seems so harsh." Brian said

"Well, the only upside is that it's given mom time to think about why she ended up in here." Emily replied her response.

"I guess I was stealin' because I was so sick of the same old routine, I felt like I had a void in my life like... like there was a secret hole in me." Lois said as she told the truth which was made sexual. Which quagmire heard and was aroused.

"Oh God!" Quagmire said as he got turn on and gross out John and Tyler.

"And I was trying to fill that hole with all kinds of expensive objects and things..." Lois said as she made her answer for getting more stuff very sexual.

"Oh Gaahhooddd!" Quagmire said as he get more turn on while John and Tyler get grosser out.

"And I felt wonderful with all those things fillin' that hole." Lois said as she made her answer for filling her hole very sexual.

"OH GAAHAHAHHAAAD!" Quagmire, John and Tyler shouted.

"I did this to myself, so just gonna have to lay back and the penal system teach me a lesson." Lois said until John and Tyler cover her mouth as they got boners from what she said.

"That one is also sexual." Quagmire said as he leave the jail.

"Well, I guess with good behavior, you could be out in two years." Frank said as he wish her the best in her endeavor.

"I made my own bed with this one, guys. I'm just gonna have to pay my debt to society." Lois said as she accepts her fate until peter butts in.

"Not necessarily, I think I got an idea of how to smuggle you out." Peter said

As the family leave threw the Prison exit, Lois is half-stuffed in Peter's mouth

"Buh-bye, take care now, have a nice day." Guard said good bye to the family.

As Peter mumbles something as he decides to smuggle her out of jail.

Then the Alarms go off, the Mallque/Griffins rush next to a laundry van.

"What do you we do?" Chris question his parents as Lois spots the van next to them.

"Hurry, we'll hide in that van." Lois said as they enter the van and it drives them away from the jail.

Now we join ourselves inside the van, Brian is struggling to stand up.

"Oh, my God, you know what this means. You're all accessories to my escape." Lois said as she feel guilty for brings her family with her escape.

"She's right, we're fugitives from the law." Brian said as he tries to stand in the van but he falls down.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Frank Jr asked him on why he is falling down.

"I'm a dog, all right I have a very tough time standing up in the car." Brian said as he falls down.

"Well then, we're fugitives, but at least the family's back together." Frank said as he feel whole again for the family's back together.

"I wonder where we're going—" Meg said in panic.

As Peter slaps Meg, but Frank slaps him back.

"Hey!" peter shout at frank but he ignore him.

"Calm down! Now I'll tell you what we're gonna do wherever this van stops, we'll begin our new life together. We'll blend into that fabric of that community." Frank said as the van stops and the Mallque/Griffins step out.

"Peter, we're in Asian Town." Lois said as the family arrive in Asian town.

"Well, at least I dont have to worry about the Evil Monkey here." Chris said as he feels safe from the evil monkey.

An Asian version of the evil monkey in Chris' closet points to Chris

"Aaaah!" Chris shouted in fear.

"Well, if we're going to hide out here in Asian Town, we have to find a place to live." Lois said as she tell her family that they need to find a place to live in Asian town.

"Yes, and we should do nothing to draw attention to ourselves as outsiders..." Peter said until he points at a man.

"Oh, my God, it's Jackie Chan!" Peter said then he points at another man.

"Oh, my God, it's Jackie Chan!" Peter said Until Frank Jr jump on his head.

"Oh, my God, it's Jackie Chan!" Frank Jr said as he points at Jackie Chan.

"Hi there, always nice to meet a fan of my movies." Jackie Chan said until he points at Peter.

"Oh, my God, you're Ethan Hawke!" Jackie Chan said as he get peter piss off.

"Uh, no, I'm not." Peter said to correct them.

"Sorry, my mistake." Jackie Chan said as his apologies to him until he points at Chris.

"Oh, my God, it's Ethan Hawke!" Jackie Chan said to Chris as both Persephone walk to their mother.

"Mom, can we go get some food?" Meg and Persephone said until Jackie Chan pointing to the twins.

"Oh, my God, it's Malcolm in Middle!" Jackie Chan said which shocked John, Tyler and Frank Jr.

"We're not boys!" Meg and Persephone said to Jackie Chan to correct him about them being girls.

"Yes, you are." Jackie Chan said annoyed but Frank Jr gets piss off.

"No, she is not!" Frank Jr said as he is annoyed by Jackie chan.

Now we join the family in a Chinese hotel.

"I can't believe we have to live here." Persephone said as she complain on where they live now.

"Oh, this sucks." John said as he kick a dead rat out the window.

"Oh, tell me about it, I haven't seen one female baby since we got here. This place is a sausage fest." Stewie said as he isn't getting any women in this town.

"Amen to that Stewie!" Tyler said in agreement as peter calm them down.

"Come on, kids, we've been through worse. Persephone, you remember when we found out Meg's gynecologist never finished med school." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about Meg.

 **Cutaway**

The scene cuts to a clinic.

"All righty, Meg, let's take a look at that bergina" the gynecologist said.

Which shocked Meg until Frank busted in with a chainsaw in anger.

 **Cutaway Ends**

"But, Peter, how are we gonna support ourselves here?" Lois asked peter on what they are going to support themselves here in Asian town.

"Well, we'll all have to get jobs, but I'm sure we'll each find something we can do." Peter said as they start new lives,

As Chris working as a rickshaw driver.

"Where are you from?" Chris asked his customer where he is from.

"Tokyo." His customer reply.

"Tokyo! Yeah, it's a great town." Chris said as he love Tokyo.

"Lot of people, though." Chris asked his customer if Tokyo has lots of people.

"Yup." His customer reply.

"You're here on business? I bet its business cause I had a fare earlier today that-" Chris said to his customer.

Until his customer close the shade so he can't talk to him.

"This used to be a people business, but now, I don't know." Chris said as he complain about his business not working out.

As we see Stewie and Frank Jr working in a sweatshop until Stewie sewn a shoe to his hand.

"Damn! I say, I seem to have sewn a shoe to my hand, may I go to the nurse?" Stewie

Replace him! His boss said as they replace Stewie with a new born baby.

As they roll in a pregnant Asian women and she give birth to a baby which they put to work with Frank Jr.

As Frank Jr notice this baby was female and she notice him, also she thinks Frank Jr is hot. She started to work slower until the boss notice.

"Faster!" The boss shouted at them and they work faster on their shoes.

We also see Emily working as a geisha while John and Tyler work making sushi in a sushi restaurant.

As an Asian dude trying to grab a feel on Emily's butt which piss her off until the bouncer kick them out since they didn't read the sign, "no touch the geishas!"

Now we join Peter while he tries to get a job as an unsuccessful Sumo wrestler.

"So, what exactly would you say quallfies you to work as a sumo wrestler?" the manger asked peter on why he wants to be a sumo wrestler.

Oh, are you kidding? I'm a born athlete, just like Greg Louganis. Peter said as he sets up a cutaway to a meta-reference.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter and Frank Jr sitting on the couch as he and Frank Jr talks to the audience.

"Hi, I'm Peter Griffin. "Peter said as he introduce himself.

"And I'm Frank Mallque Jr. You're probably asking yourself, "Which way are they gonna go? "Are they gonna make a diving-board head-injury joke? "Are they gonna make an AIDS joke? "Or are they gonna make a joke about the fact... "that his last name sounds suspiciously like 'a***'?" Well, we're gonna take the high road and do a no-body-hair joke. Brian?" Frank Jr said as Brian arrived, all shaved and wearing a blue speedo.

"Hi, I'm Greg Louganis. I'm totally shaven" Brian said.

"Terrific! Terrific" Peter added.

 **Cutaway Ends**

As we join at the Swanson house while Joe talks to the mayor.

"Damn it, Swanson. I want them found." Mayor West shouted at Joe on the phone from his office.

"Mayor West, we have every available man looking for the Mallque /Griffins. We just don't have any leads." Joe said as he tells the mayor that he have every available man looking for the Mallque/Griffins. But they just don't have any leads, until Mayor West interrupts him.

As the scene shows Mayor Adam West plays with a Lite-Brite toy.

"Not the Griffins, you moron! The rest of my Lite Brite pieces! My name isn't "Adam We"! Or is it? Who am I? What number did you diaI? Don't ever call here again." Mayor West said as he hang up the phone as he thinks he won.

"I guess I told him! Nobody messes with Adam We." Mayor West said as he finally won his battle.

Now we join Joe and zeke as they watching TV

"And now, Ladies and gentlemen, Sumo Tonight. Brought to you by Asian Trix." Announcer said his announcement as the commensal begins.

As the commensal shows Kids eating cereal; Trix rabbit comes by.

"Silly wabbit! Twix are for kids!"Boy said to the Trix rabbit, which piss it off.

"You share!" Trix rabbit said as he kick the crap of the kids and then he breaks one of their necks.

As he was about to walk away with the cereal until a small ninja with a monkey tail arrive next to him and he kick that rabbit's ass, he took the cereal.

"I'm not really sure what to do here." Peter said in the sumo ring as another sumo wrestler enters the ring.

"Boy! You've put on weight, Jackie Chan." Peter said until the sumo push him out of the ring.

"Oh, my God!" Joe and zeke shout in shocked as they found where the family is.

"Did you walk?" Bonnie said off scene.

As we join ourselves at the Chinese hotel where the Mallque/Griffin family watching three company Asian town on TV.

As the show star with two hot Asian ladies in their bikinis dance in the living room while Asian Jack Tripper come in through the front door.

"Oh!" Jack Tripper said in shocked.

"You're watching CBS ASIANTOWN." The announcer said as The "CBS Asiantown" logo shown as a slanted eye version of the CBS logo.

"Hey, everybody, I'm home." Peter said as he returns from work.

"Oh, you're just in time. I ordered Caucasian for dinner." Lois said to peter on what they are having for dinner tonight.

"Chris, John and Tyler. I'm hungry. It's your guys turn to keep watch for the cops." Persephone said as she set down for dinner while the boy went to the window to watch for cops.

"Wait a minute, am I the only one who thinks this is nuts? We've given up our whole lives." Brian asked them if he is the only saint one here.

"Come on, Brian, a change of scenery is always good." Frank said as they need change for this family.

"Yes, I thoroughly enjoyed my trip to Nebraska." Stewie said as he set up a cutaway about his trip to Nebraska.

 **Cutaway**

We see Stewie drinking coffee at a diner as he sits next to some people.

"So, anybody see any good movies lately?" Stewie asked.

"No, not really. No" the men said in unison.

"Read any good books?" Stewie asked.

"No" the same men answered.

"Anything new with corn?" Stewie wondered.

"Yeah, corn... Corn- You betcha ! Corn- Yeah. Corn is always interesting" they all agreed.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the motel with Chris asking his mother.

"Hey, Mom, Mr. Swanson's here to visit us." Chris said as his spot Joe outside with an Asian man point toward the hotel.

"What? Oh, my God, we got to get out of here!" Lois said as they got in a rickshaw and run.

"Taxi! Follow that family." Joe said as he pursues them in a rickshaw chase until they reach to a fence.

"Come on, everybody, over the fence." Lois said to the family to climb the over the fence as they leave their ricksaw.

"Ah, yes, a fence. The cripple's natural enemy." Frank Jr said as he join them over the fence and they lost Joe in the crowd.

I think we lost him. Lois said until Joe commandeers a police helicopter which freaky them out.

"There they are." Joe said from inside the police helicopter.

"Quick! Into the sewer. Lois said as the Mallque/Griffins flee into the sewers.

"Good Lord! It's disgusting down here." Stewie said as he climbs on Chris shoulders and Frank Jr climb Tyler, Meg climb Frank, while Persephone Climb John's shoulders.

"Boy, Stewie's got the right idea." Peter said as he climb on Brian shoulders

"What the hell are you doing?" Brian said in anger.

"It's wet down there, Brian. This sucks worse than that time I did cocaine with KarI Malden." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway shows the time when Peter invited Karl Malden to do cocaine.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter with Karl Malden.

"What are you getting all bent out of shape about?" Karl asked.

"Well, you know, Karl, I didn't get... I got virtually nothing here, you know?" Peter explained.

"Look, I don't see what the problem is" Karl said.

"No, you wouldn't, would you? Look, all I'm saying is, I got the raw end of the deal" Peter said.

"You invited me over" Karl added.

"Yeah, well, now I'm regretting it" Peter said.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Meanwhile back inside the helicopter

"When I fire rockets, I always pretend I shooting at Alan Alda and Jamie Farr. Take that, wise-cracking meatball surgeon!" Asian Officer said that, when he fires rockets, he pretends he is shooting at Jamie Farr and Alan Alda, stars of the Korean war-set TV series M*A*S*H.

They follows the family further in the sewer by blow a big hole for the helicopter to go in, but ends up being followed by TIE Fighters. He manages however to destroy the Imperial ships and continue his chase.

Now we join the Mallque/Griffins are in the sewers and they are choosing which way to go.

"Which way should we go?" Meg asked her family which way pathway to go.

"I don't know, let's ask the Goonies." Peter said as they encounter the characters from The Goonies.

"Take the left one." Mikey Walsh said to the Mallque/Griffin family as the goonies left to go on their adventure.

\- Thanks. Frank said his thank to the Goonies until peter calls out chunk.

"Hey, Chunk, come here." Peter said as chunk come back to him.

"Before you go, do the truffle shuffle." Peter asks Chunk to wave around his belly in a "The truffle shuffle" as he does in the film.

"Oh, come on!" Chunk said as he complain for doing the dance in the movie and doesn't want do here.

"Do the truffle shuffle." Frank Jr said in a threating voice and Chunk to wave around his belly in a "The truffle shuffle" as he does in the film.

"Hahahahaha! Childhood obesity." Peter said in laughter.

As the family went to the left tunnel but Lois stops in her track which make peter question her.

"Lois, come on, what are you doing?" Peter asking on why she is stopping.

"I can't do it, Peter." Lois said that she can't keep run anymore.

"What are you talking about? Peter asked her on what she talking about.

Look at us? We're running through a sewer, and it's because of me. (Sigh) Look, honey, it was very sweet of you to break me out of jall but I did something wrong. And I'm the one who should pay, not my whole family. I'm gonna turn myself in. Lois said as she decides to surrender and face justice.

Suddenly Joe and Zeke arrive with his helicopter.

"You're mine now, Lois!" Joe said as he rush her with zeke until they lips and is nearly swept off a nearby ledge.

"Oh, my God, Joe!" Lois said in panic as she rush toward them to pull them up from the ledge.

"Joe, Zeke, you're both too heavy. I can't hang on." Lois said as her hands are slipping her hold on them.

"Pretend we're your child, Lois!" Joe said as she thought of her kids until her hand slipping her grip again which made both Swanson men panic.

"Not Meg! Or Persephone!" Zeke shouted as she manage to saves both Swanson's lives.

"Lois, you saved our lives."Joe said as both of them are grateful to be alive.

Until the scene turns to show the baby duo run into Corey Haim, who is questioned by Stewie.

"I say, Corey Haim! Are you with the Goonies as well?"Stewie said as he questions if he is with the Goonies as well.

"Nah, I just live down here." Corey Haim said as he tells them that he actually lives in the sewer.

Suddenly a white rat scampers which made Corey Haim hungry.

"MINE!"Corey Haim said as he grabs the rat and eats it which made the babies move away.

Now we join the family back home and life returns to normal for the Mallque/Griffins.

"It was so nice of Joe to work things out with that judge." Lois said as Joe somehow manages to get Lois' sentence remanded.

"Yeah, but I'm sure gonna miss my buddies down at the sumo ring." Peter said as he miss his friends down at the sumo ring.

"Dad, can you teach me how to sumo wrestle?" Chris asked peter if he can learn to how to sumo wrestle.

"It's not too hard, Chris. Brian, help me demonstrate." Peter said as he asked Brian to help him demonstrate sumo wrestling.

"Peter, maybe somebody else could-. " Brian said as he tries to get out of it but peter didn't let up.

"Come on! Okay, so on the count to three, you try to push me out of the ring I try to push you out of the ring." Peter said as he and brian got in to position to explain how it works.

Okay? Ready? One, two, three! Peter said as he grab Brian then threw across the cabins and brian broke a lot of dishes.

What the hell? What the hell? Brian said as he got up and kcik his chair out of his way. He was totally piss off at peter for what he did.

"Brian, I'm sorry." Peter said as he tries to apologies to him but Brian wasn't having it.

"No! No. You know what? It's not cooI, Peter." Brian said as he walk away from the kitchen.

"It's not cooI. Grandpa, it's not cool!" Frank Jr said as he tells peter that what he did was not cool at all.

 **Chapter ends**

 **I hope everyone enjoyed! This is thanking for pen123 and Family Guy Fan writer 15, Thank you all for cutaways, scenes, favoring, having me on alerts and with that. So enjoy and see you next chapter.**


	11. Chapter 60: Model Misbehavior

**Chapter 60: Model Misbehavior**

 **Narrator** _  
_ _Fresh out the net box  
Stop, look, and watch  
Ready yet, get set  
It's Family Guy!_

We see paparazzi taking photos of the cast as they come out of the limo and they walk on the red carpet _._

 **Chorus:** _  
_ _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

First it show Frank waling out of the limo with a poster with the words "oh" and he poses for the camera.

Then its shows Meg comes in looking all sexy as she signs autographs while she winks at the fans.

Then it turn to Lois comes in hopping while grabbing rose as she gives a kiss toward the fans.

 **Chorus:**

 _Check it, check it, check it  
Now this is just an introduction  
Before I blow your mind  
The show is All of That and yes we do it all the time_

Then it shows Frank Jr poses as he pull his hat down his chest as he throws a rose to the Fans.

Then next person to show up on the carpet is Stewie. As he flips his hat back to his head while he give autographs to fans.

Then Brian comes in sliding on the red carpet as he waves at the fan as he walks in.

 **Chorus:**

 _So sit your booty on the floor or in a chair  
Ground or in the air  
Just don't go nowhere_

Then Emily comes in give autographs as she smiles at the fans as she tells one of her fans to call her.

Then the scene shows Persephone puts a rose on her mouth with a sexy angry look on her face.

 **Chorus:**

 _Cause everything we do  
It's all of that!  
When entertaining you  
We all of that!_

Then Chris shimming down the carp as he gives the fan a shout out.

Then Peter slide towards the carpet as he flips his hat back on his head.

 **Chorus:**

 _My posse and my crew  
It's all of that!  
So sit still cause we're coming right back_

Then the scene shows John throws a rose at his fans.

As the scene, changes to Tyler puts on rose his mouth as he gives everyone thumbs up.

 _ **Chorus:**_

 _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

Then scene change to the Family Guy MC Cast walks down the stairs as they take a group photo while looking gangsters of the 80. All this while music ends as the scene fades to black.

Now we join Peter, Frank, Meg and Lois packing their thing for their trip to visit Lois parent's at Pewterschmidt mansion.

"Come on, everybody. Let's go." Peter said as he calls his kids and grandson to the car.

"Oh, this is so exciting. This is the tenth year my father's raced his yacht in the Newport Regatta." Lois said as she excited about her father's raced his yacht in the Newport Regatta.

"Man, I hope he lets me on his team this year. I haven't been part of a team since I was with the Four Peters." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about his singing group the Four Peters.

 **Cutaway**

The scene shifts to a theater. We see four Peters performing with their vocal cords at a steady rate. They perform the song Eine kleine Nachtmusik by Mozart as each Peter steadily sing.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we cut to Stewie and Frank Jr checking the mail as Brian calls them.

"Come on, Guys. Let's go." Brian said as he called them to get in the car.

"Yes, yes. We're just checking the mall." Stewie said as he looks over Frank Jr shoulder as he checks the mail.

"I say, here's one from the vet." Frank Jr said as he take out an envelope for Brian vet.

"Give me that." Brian said as he made a reach for his envelope but Frank Jr open it and what the babies read was really shocking.

"Good lord, worms?" Stewie said in shocked from now knowing that Brian has worms.

"You have worms?" Frank Jr asked Brian if he feels them inside.

"I don't have worms, all right? I just got checked for worms. Oh, wait. No, I do have worms." Brian said as he read the letter that he took back from Frank Jr hand.

"Oh, God. What am I gonna do? I can't afford the medication for this." Brian said in shocked and he know that he can cure himself without money to pay for it.

"Well, you could ask Lois and the fat one." Stewie said as he suggest Brian to asked peter and Lois for a lone.

"No. No. No. You cannot tell them about this, please. Peter is not very discreet with private matters." Brian said as he sets up a cutaway about peter not very discreet with private matters.

 **Cutaway**

The scene shifts to outside of the neighborhood late at night.

"Hey everybody! Persephone just had her first period!" Peter exclaimed, off-screen.

"PETER! Shut up! It's 3 in the morning!" Joe screamed, off-screen.

"What the hell's going on out there?!" Cleveland asked, off-screen.

"Damn it! People are trying to sleep!" Quagmire shouted, off-screen.

"I'm just saying I'm proud of her! She's a woman! Yay!" Peter cheered.

"Yes Peter, that's very hot and I'll deal with it in the morning, but right now I am exhausted!" Quagmire hollered.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the trio as Brain panic about his worms.

"Just please don't tell them." Brian said as he begs them to not tell Peter and Lois about him having worms.

"Perhaps you should worry a little less about your pride and a little more about the creepy-crawlies shawshanking their way out of your balloon knot, Dude." Frank Jr said to Brian just forget his pride and just ask for help as he and Stewie toward the car.

"Come on, kids. Off to Grandma and Grandpa's house." Lois said as everyone gets in the car.

While Chris feel relive of leave the house. Both John, Tyler look at the clone with awe and confusion.

"Thank God I finally get some time away from the eviI monkey in my closet." Chris said as the evil monkey come out the window and he'll point and show his teeth.

But the evil monkey is shown relaxing after the Mallque/Griffin's departure by smoking a joint and listening to Foghat's "Slow Ride" on vinyl through headphones on Chris' bed.

Now we join the family at Pewterschmidt mansion as Esperanza the Latina maid introduce them to Lois' Parents.

"Mrs. Babs. Mr. Carter. La familia Mallque/Griffin." Esperanza The maid said as she call the griffin in her native tongue.

"Lois, darling. It's wonderfuI to see you." Barbara said as she walks toward her daughter and hug her while Lois is holding both Frank Jr and Stewie.

"Hi, Mom. Hi, Daddy." Lois said as she hug her mom then her dad.

"Grandpa!" Chris, Persephone, Meg shouted at him. Also they ran towards him and hug him.

Hello, who is this young lady, dear? Barbara asked Lois about Emily.

"Her name is Emily Violet Jane Griffin, daughter of Peter Griffin and Margret Chevapravatdumrong, her mother died in a car accident Emily was in and she survived. She moved in with us after her old family died in the car crash." Lois explain her new step daughter origin to her parents, then Barbara hug Emily and tell her she is a part of their family now.

"Hello, everyone." Carter said as he hugs his grandchildren and great grandson.

"Hiya, Mr. Pewterschmidt." Peter and Frank said as they reach for a hang shakes.

"Peter, I see you're still fatter than holy hell. And Frank your still the pillar that my granddaughter soul." Carter said as he insults peter while handshakes Frank's hand and thanking him for taking care of his granddaughter.

"You can read us like a book." Frank said as he and peter still feel low by the insults as peter goofily laughs.

"So, which of the Latin countries are you from? The one with the civiI war, the one with the cocaine or the one with the fancy hats?" Frank Jr asked Esperanza the maid of which the Latin countries she is from.

Now we join the family being introduce to Lois high-schooI room.

"Isn't this fun, Peter? You and I get to stay in my old high-schooI room." Lois said as she hug her husband and she feels Horney about having her boytoy in her room.

"Wow. This looks just like my room at home." Emily said as she looks around the room.

Yeah, except for all the trophies and pictures of friends. Lois said to her as she feels disappointed that her daughter don't have all of this, but Emily whippers to her that she has trophies and twins have friends.

As we see John and Tyler plus Stewie see the trophy case.

"Wow nice trophies Mrs. Griffin!" john and Tyler said as they like trophies.

That's the second most impressive trophy I've ever seen. Stewie said as he set up a cutaway about him seeing the first most impressive trophy he has ever seen.

 **Cutaway**

We see Stewie presenting at an awards ceremony.

"And the Grammy for Album of the Year goes to…Justin Timberlake!" Stewie announced as Justin arrived, but Stewie hits him with the trophy and knocks him out cold.

"Ha! It actually goes to Nelly! Nelly" Stewie corrected.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the Lois's high-school room

"Wow, Mom. Were you a Miss Teen Rhode Island?" Persephone said as she, Meg and Emily look in awe as they admire their mother trophy of Miss Teen Rhode Island.

"I sure was, Persephone, when I was 16 years old. In fact, your mom was offered a modeling contract." Lois said as she recalls her teenage aspirations to be a model.

"Really? Why didn't you take it?" Emily asked her on why didn't she take the chance to be a model/

"Well, I wanted to, but your grandfather wouldn't let me." Lois said as she start a cutaway about her father not wanting her to be a model.

 **Cutaway**

The scene shifts to a young Loid talking to Carter.

"But Daddy, they offered me a contract!" Lois explained as she holds a piece of paper.

"My girl is not lowering herself to modeling. That sort of uncouth activity is below this family. Now go away. I'm busy" Carter refused as he sat down in front of a huge stereo system while putting on sunglasses. "Farnsworth?"

"The usual sir" Farnsworth puts a cassette on the stereo system as it plays Ride of the Valkyries really loud while it creates a wave and Carter picks up a drink.

 **Cutaway Ends**

The next morning, the real Chris griffin walks to the front yard wearing a robe and checking the mail.

"Bills... Bills... Bills... Who is this Bill character and how does everybody keep getting his mail?" Chris asked until he notice that one of these letter is for him

"Wait, what's this? A letter for Me... From somebody named Samantha?" chris asked as he read the letter.

 _"Dear Chris, How are you? It's been a while since we've seen each other. I still have feelings for you and wish that you could come on back to the South. We'd be gettin' it on like we were brother and sister or somethin'. Someday, I hope I will see you again. XOXOXO Sam."_

"How sweet," Chris said as he then tossed the letter into robe as he went back inside his house with no wife since he is alone to raise his little girl.

Meanwhile inside the house, Chris opens his door to find a tied up the letter with his key to the car on his doorstep.

As he starts to remember Sam, a young girl who lives in Bumblescum, Alabama who appeared in "To Love and Die in Dixie". She befriends Chris Griffin when the Griffin family move there as part of the Witness Protection Program. At first, Chris hung out with her and thought she was a boy, and was later very disturbed when she kissed him. He was relieved to learn that she was a girl, so he could start a proper relationship with her. Chris has not seen her since they moved out of the South and returned to Quahog. He promised to write to her every day, and she promised to learn to read.

"Dear Diary, Jackpot... Again." Chris said as he pack his thing and his daughter because Chris, his daughter are going to Bumblescum, Alabama.

Meanwhile in the Newport Barrington we join the Mallque/Griffin Family with the Pewterschmidt eating lunch while Frank Jr and Stewie look smug at Brian as they know his secret.

"Feeding the worms, are you?" Stewie asking Brian if he is feed what he is eating to his worm inside his stomach.

"Stewie, shut up, all right?" Brian tell stewie to shut up already.

"Yes, I imagine those little Dudes are enjoying quite a feast." Frank Jr said as we see a cutaway about the worms inside Brian's stomach.

 **Cutaway**

We see the inside of Brian's stomach as two worms share a feast together.

"You know what's interesting? I've only been alive for six weeks. I know nothing of the world beyond this dog's stomach. And I still find Six Feet Under pretentious" one worm said.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back inside the Newport Barrington as Peter talks to Carter.

"So, Mr. Pewterschmidt, the big race is tomorrow, eh? Bet you're gonna need some big strapping men to help you with your boat." Peter asking if he wants him on his crew.

"Are you calling me gay? No." Carter said as he made peter nerves.

"No, I just thought you might want some extra seamen on your poop deck." Peter said as he made carter piss and he punch him in the face.

Now we join stewie and Frank Jr walk in the motel as they notice a Cash$cam seminar is started, so they went in to see Jim Kaplan is running it.

"Cash scam is your way to make reaI money. You could become rich beyond your wildest dreams by selling these fine products over the phone." Jim Kaplan explain what is Cash$cam and how to used it for yourself to get rich.

"Rich beyond my wildest dreams. I say, I could be a millionaire playboy." Stewie said as he sets up a cutaway about himself becoming a millionaire playboy.

 **Cutaway**

We see Stewie hosting a game with Playboy bunnies.

"Okay, girls. Are you all ready to play? All right, then. One, two, three. Green light. Red light. Green light. Red light. Brandy, you're out. Sorry, you have to sleep with Rob Schneider tonight" Stewie said as Rob Schneider arrived wearing only white briefs.

""Making copies." Remember that?" Rob asked.

"I was born in 1987" Brandy said.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join to the20th annuaI Newport Regatta as they begin their announcement.

"Ladies and gentlemen welcome to the 20th annuaI Newport Regatta. Newport would like to extend a speciaI welcome to all those here today who have children stationed overseas in Iraq." Announcer over P.A said as the rich people look shocked.

"Hahahahahaha! I'm just kidding." Announcer over P.A said as he made a joke.

"Hahahahahaha!" As the rich people were a laughing.

Now we see the mallque/Griffin family walk toward to carter's boat.

"There they are, team Pewterschmidt. Say, where is Frank and where's your husband or as I call him, "my son-in-lard"? Snap. Snap." Carter said as he makes fun of peter again.

"Oh, I'm sure he'll be along, Daddy." Lois said as we see peter and Frank come in sailing in a bathtub.

"Ahoy, Mr. Pewterschmidt." Peter said as he say hello to his father in-law.

"Peter, what the hell are you and Frank doing in my bathtub?| Carter asking him as to why he is sailing in his bathtub.

"Oh, this is not a bathtub. This is the SS Pewterschmidt Kicker." Peter said as he challenged him while his family enter the bathtub.

"This is ridiculous. I won't have a member of my family racing in a bathtub." Carter said as he won't have a member of his family racing in a bathtub.

"Well, Daddy, you didn't want Peter in your boat so team Griffin is gonna give you a run for your money." Lois said as she tells him that this is happening.

"And now, to fire the starting gun is recently paroled presidentiaI assassin, John Hinckley." the Announcer over P.A said as John was at the dock and he fire the starting gun. As the boat race beings with carter's boat in the lead.

"You fired that gun reaI nice, John." Jodie Foster said as she is at a dock with John Hinckley, Jr., her stalker.

"Wow, Jodie Foster. Hey, thanks." John Hinckley said as he thanks her for complement his skills and being here.

"Maybe I was wrong about you. Maybe I was wrong about all men." Jodie Foster said as when she realizes she was wrong about men and take his hand to go somewhere.

Now back to the race as the Mallque/Griffin family Bathtub is losing speed.

"We're not going fast enough." Lois said as they are losing speed as carter shouts at them.

"Loser!" Carter shouted at their bathtub.

"What did he say?" Frank asked his family until carter throws a cell phone inside the bathtub.

The cell phone rings and Frank Jr answers it.

"Hello?" Frank Jr said as he answers the phone.

"I said you're a loser." Carter said from his boat with his cellphone.

"Who is this?" Frank Jr question the person on the phone.

"Tell him that he has a small wiener!" Tyler tells Frank Jr insult the caller for calling them losers.

As Lois spots the finish line at Newport Regatta.

"There's the finish line. We can't let him beat us." Lois said as she thinks they are losing because they need something to beat carter.

"We gotta lose some extra weight. Quick, everyone, take off your clothes." Peter said as everyone undress leaving only their underwear.

|It's working." John said as they gain speed in the bathtub.

"Just need a little more?" Peter said until Frank threw him over border to gain more speed.

"We love you, honey." Lois shouted her love to peter as they cross the finish line as winners. Until carter spoils their fun from what they did to win.

"Lois, what the hell were you doing out there? Woah, What's with your blonde daughter's getup?" Carter said as he asked why Lois strip and why Emily is wearing diapers.

"Emily is in contended from the car crash and not listening to you for once, Daddy and look what happened. I had a lot of fun. I should've stopped listening to you a long time ago." Lois said as she tells carter she is not listing to him anymore.

"Let's go home, Frank." Lois said frank that they are leaving.

"Right behind you." Frank said as they begin to leave until they notice someone was missing.

"Hey, where's Peter?" Lois asked Frank on where is her husband?

Now we see Seamus and his fisherman catch Peter, along with a bunch of fish, in a net while at sea.

"What is it, sir?" one of the fisherman asking on what peter is.

"That's what we call a manatee, boys or, in nauticaI slang, the sea-cow." Seamus said as he tells them that peter is a manatee which made peter feel stupid.

Now we join ourselves at the Mallque/Griffin house as Brian has in itch in his crotch.

"Damn these worms. Ow, this itch." Brian said as he drag his butt on the floor until Frank Jr and Peter came in.

"Brian, what the hell are you doing?" Peter asking his dog on what he is doing.

"Nothing. Just some Pilates." Brian said as he lies while doing fake Pilates but they didn't buy it.

"Don't lie to me, Brian. I know what this is." Peter said in a smug voice.

"You're looking for an ass-race." Frank Jr said as he know knew what Brian is doing but he got it wrong.

"First one to the kitchen wins. Go!" Peter said as they all ass race toward the kitchen and then Stewie arrived.

"Still got the worms, eh?" Stewie aching Brian if he still got the worms.

"Yeah, that stupid medicine's $300." Brian said as he complains that he still doesn't have the medicine because it cause $300.

"Well, let me make you a proposaI. I'll front you the money, and you pay it off by working for me." Stewie said as he offers Brian some money and he pay it off by working for him.

"Cashscam? Are you kidding? I don't want anything to do with that pyramid scheme." Brian said as he doesn't want to do Cashscam.

"Very well, then. Enjoy your worms." Stewie said as he is about to walk away until Brain stops him.

"Wait. Wait. What would I have to do?" Brian said as he caves in to Stewie request.

"Just be in my room tomorrow at 9:00 a.m. for orientation. UntiI then, keep this in mind. Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right. See you tomorrow." Stewie said as he walks away while he plans for his cash scam.

Now we see Lois come in through the house door in the living room with a newspaper.

"Hey, everybody. Wait till you see this." Lois said as peter come in to take the paper and looks shocked.

"Oh, my God. Movable printed type." Peter said as he give the newspaper to Frank Jr.

"We must keep this from the serfs lest they gain literacy and threaten the landed gentry." Frank Jr said as he looks outside to his serfs working on his turnips.

"What you got there, my Young lord?" The serfs asked Frank Jr on what he has in his hand.

"Nothing. Back to your turnips." Frank Jr shouted at them to get back to work and they did. As Frank Jr and peter went back inside Lois took the paper back and show the rest of the kids what she has learned.

"Look, it's a picture of us at the Regatta." Lois said as it shows them the newspaper of the family at the Regatta.

"Wow, Mom. You look pretty." Chris said as he comments his mother is pretty in the picture.

"Thank you, Chris. I thought so, too. And you know what? I'm gonna take that chance my father never let me take when I was younger. I'm gonna become a modeI." Lois said

"Hey, that's fantastic, Lois. And I'll pleasure myself to your photos." Peter said as he tells her he will masturbates to her photos.

This disgust both John and Tyler also Emily.

"Me, too.' Chris said in agreement which disgust Frank and he slap him in the head.

"Me, too." Meg said until Frank saw a vision of peter kicking her out because she said me too for pleasure herself to Lois photos.

So he decides to change this moment by make peter the victim.

"Oh, God. Peter, that's sick." Frank shouted at peter for saying that and peter feel guilty for it.

"That's your wife." Frank said as he agrues peter for saying for that which made John and Tyler agree with him though they didn't know what Frank is doing.

"I'm just trying to fit in." Peter said as he tries to explain himself but Emily wouldn't have it.

"Get out. Get out of this house." Emily shouted as she tries drag him out of the house and lock the door.

They all pause after that for not taking her seriously, Until Frank Punches through wall which scared Peter.

"She said now!" Frank said as Peter runs out; Meg shuts door.

"That's good about your modeling, Mom." Frank said as Meg feel that she was save for humiliation from her father. So she goes to Frank and kiss him on the cheek.

"You and me upstairs, we are going to have awesome shower sex tonight." Meg said as Frank is turn on by it. They ran upstairs to the bathroom to get busy loving tonight.

Now we join Lois and Emily at Goldman's Pharmacy as they pick up Lois pictures.

"Here are your pictures, Lois. They sure are terrific." Mort said as Lois goes threw her photos.

She has a photo of herself in a purple dress, herself in a blue long shirt with a black skirt, herself in a pink dress and pink sun hat, finally herself with blue hoop earrings and blue dress.

"Thank you, Mort. I'm trying to get into modeling." Lois said as she explains to mort that she is going get into modeling again.

"And I'm her manager her schedule." Emily replay since she wants to help her out.

"That's great." Mort said until he notice something enter his store and he is piss off.

"Oh, hey! Get out of here." Mort said as he grab the broom and finds The Greased-up deaf guy reading a magazine.

"Hey, go on. Get out." Mort said as he chase him around the store.

"I didn't hurt anybody." The Greased-up deaf guy said as he is being chase out of the store while telling mort that they are friends.

"Scat, Mister. Mort said as he brush his broom to push out The Greased-up deaf guy out of his store.

"I know deep down I'm your friend." The Greased-up deaf guy said as he shout from outside the store then leave.

"That greased-up deaf guy is going to be the death of me. Like business isn't bad enough already." Mort said as he complain about business is falling apart.

"Well, gosh, Mort. You ever think about sending out a maller? 'Cause I know where you could get a good deaI on a modeI." Lois said as she offer him her services to be the stores model.

Until the greased-up deaf guy comes back in and touch everything.

"I'm touching on the candy." The greased-up deaf guy said as he runs around the store and touch all the stuff inside.

"Get out. Get out." Mort said as he continues his chase until the greased-up deaf guy was out of the store and he groans for running around the store.

As Lois begin her journey toward being a model as the scene shows Lois in photoshots in a pink dress using deodorant, One of Lois's photoshoot when the dog is tearing off her underwear, is a parody of the Coppertone girl, last one is her show herself in a red dress spirt a douche bottle.

Now we join Brain walk towards stewie room to see it looks like an office.

What the hell is all this? Brian shouted out loud while looking shocked as Frank Jr come close to him in a suit.

Oh, Brian, you're here. Good. Frank Jr said as Stewie come in to help jr with the tour.

Oh, Brian, Okay, let me give you the rundown. This is your work area. Stewie said as his point out Brian's work area.

"Please keep personal knickknacks tasteful. You get 25 minutes for lunch, and enjoy it here." Stewie said as he gives his demand in the work place to Brian and went back to his office.

"Welcome aboard." Frank Jr said as he works here as well both John and Tyler.

Then Brian toward the door to Stewie office and knocked on it.

"Yes?" Stewie asked threw the door.

"It's Brian." Brian said that he is here.

"Oh, yes, the new fellow. Come on in." Stewie said as Brian comes into Stewie office.

"What exactly am I supposed to do?" Brian asked him on what he should do.

"You'll pick up the phone and you'll sell, sell, sell. But before you go thinking it's all seriousness the first Friday of every month is Wacky-Tacky-Tie Day so, you know, start thinking up some fun tacky ties to wear." Stewie said as he was explain to Brian what he is doing here, after he was done explaining He went back to work but Brian never left.

"Oh, we're done. "Stewie said as he send him off.

Now we join ourselves at Cleveland deli with Peter and Lois waiting for their sandwich.

"Here you go, guys." Menma said as he passes their sandwiches while Cleveland comes to their table to asked Lois something

"Lois, could I be a son of a bitch and impose on you to sign one of your flyers for me." Cleveland said as he brought flies for her to sign over.

Of course, Cleveland. Lois said as she is flatter by his jester.

"Oh, man. I can't believe I'm sleeping with a modeI. I'm luckier than the State of Rhode Island." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about the State of Rhode Island.

 **Cutaway**

We see politicians trying to sign a bill.

"Well, I can't decide what to call this place. We'll flip a coin. All right. Heads, Rhode Island. Talls, Ca-ca-poo-poo-pee-pee-shire" politician 1 said.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the griffin couple eating as a very old women come to them asking Lois something.

"Pardon me. Are you Lois Griffin, the Goldman's Pharmacy girI?" the old women asked her if she is Lois griffin.

"Yes, I suppose I am." Lois reply her answer.

"Karin Parotta, modeling agent. Listen, sugar, I've seen your stuff. You're a breath of fresh air in my stoma. I could get you a lot more work if you sign with my agency." Karin Parotta introduce herself as a modeling agent who wants to help Lois Griffin jumpstart her modeling career. She is a heavy smoker and, as a result she has a large stoma in her neck, which she still smokes through.

"Really? Oh, my God! How exciting." Lois said in excitement as Emily nodded in agreement.

"Well, here's my card. Also bring your daughter, she looks great and Give me a call. Now, perhaps some young gentleman would like to light me up." Karin Parotta asking for someone to light up her cigarette.

"Allow me." Quagmire said as he light up her cigarette as This stoma was a turn-on to Glenn Quagmire.

"So, what's going on? You ever get freaky with that thing or what?" Quagmire asks if she uses it for sex.

Now we join Chris at Bumblescum and he is working his way to woe Sam to bed.

"Howdy Addicts! We all know how tough them those Southern girls can be, so here's a little 101 to help you tame Sam."

As we see Sam at the pond think about Chris give her flower and having some of that nasty sex, she heard about.

"You'll be directed to learn about Sam. You need to bring up an instruction box with further details on exactly how to win Sam's heart by attacking her with Flowers. Sam is similar to other girls we have seen in past events in that she's the big baddie who keeps on giving. But just how do we get her to drop the goodies? Well we need to attack her with Flowers." Frank said from his head

As Chris takes her out to the swamp as the skip rocks. This cause Sam to get turn on and she kisses him for remembering their first time the met. Then after making out they had pot cookies.

"You know, you did great today. So much better than last week. And I have a surprise for you. You have earned one of Anna Barnes' very special super-super-secret cookies." Sam said as she passes her cookies to Chris.

"Mmm-hmm." Chris said as he taste the cookie in his mouth until he notice something weird about the cookie.

"Wait, what is this? Mmm-hmm?" Chris said as he taste the cookie again.

"This is a pot... This is a pot cookie, isn't it?" Chris asked her as he now know that his cookie has pot in it.

"It's a pot cookie." Sam said her answer which made chris freak out.

"No, no, no. No. I don't do well with that stuff at all." Chris said as he panics about getting heigh off his balls.

"It's a pot cookie." Sam said her answer again which made Chris more nerves.

"Yeah, I know. No, thank you." Chris

"Just have a little bit with me. My worst fear is to OD on a recreational drug." Chris said as he stammers.

No, thank you. Chris said as he reject the cookie drug effects.

"On a pot cookie?" Sam asked him about the cookie.

"The last time somebody gave me one of these I became convinced that prairie dogs could read my mind." Chris said his fear which made Sam giggle a bit.

"Just take a little bit. I'll take a very, very small bite. Just a small bite. A very small bite." Chris said as he takes a small bite of his cookie.

"That's it. Are you kidding me?" Sam said as she question him on what he is doing.

"Nope. Deadly serious." Chris said his response.

"Hahahahahaha!" Sam laughing as she passes him another cookie.

"Let's see what this does and if I don't throw myself off this cliff during some awful freak-out, then..." Chris said as he eats the cookie.

"Just take that little bit, right there." Sam said as she guide him on his height journey.

"Well, now you've touched it." Chris said as he eats the cookie and gets height as a kite.

"Hahahahahaha!" Sam laughing at what Chris said.

"Take the other side. There you go. There. And now, we just wait for the sun to set." Sam said as she still guiding him.

"This is really weird. Is it supposed to be like this?" Chris said as he question his trip experience.

"Hihihihihi!" Sam chuckling

"You gave me the right amount, right? You don't think I took too much?" Chris asked her if she gave him the right amount of cookies.

"Just ride it out." Sam said her response.

"This is... Wow, my bones are in really deep today. Like, there's a lot more skin than there usually is. I think my body is padding up for the winter, which is weird, because it's not winter. But there's a lot more there." Chris said some weird stuff As Sam laughing at him.

"Oh..." Chris said as he feels weird right now.

As Chris tries to swallowing something in his mouth.

"There's something wrong with my swallowing." Chris said about his swallowing.

This is not how I usually swallow. Chris said as he is height and he weird when he is height.

As a prairie dogs squeaking and out of his hole which freak out Chris.

"Oh, my God, sam, he knows." Chris said as he freaks out.

"What, what, what?" Sam asking him.

"He knows what we're doing, he knows what this is. He knows what this is. I don't wanna... No, I don't wanna join. I don't wanna join up." Chris said as he take Sam somewhere else on their date.

Now we join Brian at his office in Stewie and Frank Jr room working around the clock until Stewie called him.

"Brian, could you come in here for one second?" Stewie asked from his intercoms.

As Brian went to Stewie office to see him on the phone.

Yeah, what is? Brian asked him until Frank Jr shush him.

"Hang on." Frank Jr said as Stewie nodded at frank Jr for helping him.

"Hang on one second. Yes, Grover, what is it? This has to be quick. I am so pressed. Yes, the letter "G" is wonderfuI. Of course, and the number "6." Stewie said as he is using his sesame street phone to talk to grover.

"Okay. Okay. Grover. Grover. Grover. Grover. Grover. You know what? If you're gonna shout, we can just talk later. Okay. All right, you know what? Call me back when you calm down." Stewie said as he hang up the phone.

"You wanted something?" Brian asking him what he wanted him to do.

"Oh, yes. Can you go ahead and send Lois a congratulatory basket? Thank you. Oh, and if Cookie Monster calls, tell him I'm not talking to him untiI he gets out of rehab." Stewie said as he tell Brian to give Lois a congratulatory basket and sets up a cutaway about cookie monster being in rehab.

 **Cutaway**

We see Cookie Monster in rehab as 3 doctors enter.

"Contraband check. What are these?" doctor 1 asked as he found a plate of cookies.

"I don't know" Cookie Monster said.

"What do you mean, you don't know?" doctor 1 asked.

"I don't know how they got there" Cookie Monster explained.

"Well, I think you do know" doctor 1 wondered.

"No. No, Derek was in here earlier. He was making the beds. He probably put them…I was in the john" Cookie said as he…starts eating the cookies, but the doctors stop him from eating. "You guys are Nazis, man! You're freaking Nazis!" Cookie Monster screamed as another doctor gave him a shot to put him to sleep. The other remaining doctor shushed him and pat his head.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join Lois and Emily at the photography studio for their first take.

"Well, here we are, Lois and Emily. Your first professionaI photo shoot." Karin said as she cheers for her girls first take.

"Oh Karin, this is so exciting." Emily said as she and Lois are in their bikinis for their take.

"Knock them dead, Girls." Frank said as peter gives them the thumbs up.

"Hey. Peter Griffin. How's it going? See that red head? I'm, uh… I'm hitting that." Peter brag to one of the guys that works here about his wife.

As the scene change to photo takes of Lois in her bikini until it changes to a cover of cosmopolitan with a message saying inside: is pooping the new vomiting? Then it changes to an issue cover of Victoria's secret with Emily in red bra and underwear with pink wings. The message said inside: maybe someone's boob pops out!

Now we return to Stewie's room with Brian making a call.

"Hi, is Mr. Donald Nguyen there, please? And is he the head of the household? If I can just have a few moments of your time Hello?" brain asking on the phone for Donald nyuyen but nobody answer.

As Stewie walk by to his office with john and Tyler listening in.

"Oh, Brian, there you are. Can I talk to you about something?" Stewie asked him for a minute of his time.

"Yeah, what is it?" Brianasked him on what he wants now.

"That coffee mug you have on your desk that says, "Life's a beach" that's dangerously close to the word "bitch," isn't it?" Stewie asked about his coffee mug on his desk that says, "Life's a beach" was dangerously close to the word "bitch."

Yeah, that's the joke. Brian said his response.

"Absolutely, and nobody appreciates a joke like Stewie. And, you know, between you and Frank Jr, I think it's a stitch but some of the other employees have found it offensive." Stewie said as he like the joke but the other employees have found it offensive.

"Other employees? Who else works here besides me?" Brian asked him who works here.

"John, Tyler and fucking you. That's who works here!" Stewie said as he get anger by shouting at Brian until Frank Jr knock him out.

"Five hour break everybody." Frank Jr said as he drag s Stewie to bed.

Now its night time at the Mallque/Griffin house as Lois is cooking dinner with low rider jeans with black heel shoes and only wearing a black tang top showing off her rocking hard body.

"Dinner's almost ready, kids." Lois said to the children as peter come in into the kitchen.

"Wow, Lois, look at you. You're like Britney Spears except you're not a fat guy." Peter said as he comment on his wife beauty.

Until the doorbell rings as someone was at the door.

"I'll get it." Emily said as she is blue skirt with black heel shoes and only wearing a black tang top showing off her rocking hard body with Lois join her while they leave the kitchen.

"Dad, how could you be okay with Mom and Emily parading themselves around like this? I mean, both of them are half-naked. It makes all women look bad." Meg said as she is jealous for not invite them to their model shoot.

"Meg, who let you back in the house?" Peter asking her why she in the house since he remember that Meg was supposed to be out of the house for her remark about masturbating to Lois photos not him.

Until the room got cold and peter turnaround to see Frank was doing it.

"Hey peter, who let you back in the house?" Frank said in a threating voice which made Peter scared and cause him to run away while Meg got Horney again.

As Emily and Lois answer the door to see it was Karin.

"Oh, Karin. Come on in." Lois said as she welcome her to her house.

"Lois, Emily, I got your new headshots, and I set up a shoot for you two over at Glamour next Monday but, sugar, you both are gonna need these to stay on top." Karin said as she passes them some diet pills to stay skinning.

"Diet pills? Karin, I'm not gonna take these. I don't need to." Emily said as she doesn't need these.

"Emily, sooner or later every modeI needs a little boost, huh? I just wanna make sure you two got everything you need." Karin said as she pressured her to take diet pills.

"Hey, you two like Pez?" Karin asked them if they like Pez.

"Sure." Lois said as Karin can also dispense Pez candy from her large stoma.

Now we join Frank, Peter and Lois going to the drunken clam.

"Hey, who's putting together a puzzle? 'Cause I just found a hot piece." Peter said as he and Lois enter and she look super-hot like hell.

The guy in the bar were awe and getting Horney at Lois.

"Wow. Lois, you look great. I'd like to split you in half like a piece of lumber." Quagmire said as he want to do something nasty to Lois.

"Thank you, Glenn." Lois said as she thanks him for his comment.

"Yeah, Lois. I'd like to wear you like a hockey mask." Joe said as he wants to wear her like a mask.

"You guys!" Lois said as she feel all giddy and it made both peter and frank both nervous.

Okay, easy, fellas. Frank said as he tries to calm the gang down.

"Lois, I'd like to make a carameI-colored baby with you." Cleveland said as he wants to make a carameI-colored baby with her.

"Take it easy, Cleveland." Peter said as he get disturb until Horace start it all.

"Take your jacket off." Horace said as the people in the bar started to cheer.

"Jacket off. Jacket off. Jacket off." All the men chanted Lois to take of her jacket which she did and it made peter mad.

"All right. All right. That's it. That's enough." Peter said as he drags his wife away to a corner of the bar.

"Peter, what are you doing?" Lois asking him what he is doing.

"Lois, if you being a modeI means you're going to be eye-candy for the whole town, then I ain't going for it." Peter said as he becomes very jealous of the lust she inspires in other men.

"Excuse me? Who do you think you are, my father?" Lois said in anger as she doesn't take his behavior.

"Lois, I think Meg was right. Both you and Emily Lowering yourselves and women and something and all that noise." Peter said as he Desperate to get her out of the fashion world.

"You can't stop me from modeling, Peter. This is important to me. I am going to the top, and there's nothing you or anyone else can do about it." Lois said as she runs away to the women's restroom toward the mirror.

Who the hell does he think he is? Lois said to her reflection and looks at the diet pills.

Lois then takes them and she heard a noise. She went towards the source and found cookie monster.

After being injected with anesthesia several times, he was soon released from rehab. He went back on his cookie binge, being caught by Lois Griffin free-basing in a women's restroom.

"Come on. Come on. _[He Notices Lois]_ Go away!" Cookie monster said As He tries to make a cookie by burning cookie dough on a spoon, which is similar to the way heroin is prepared.

Now we join ourselves at the Mallque/Griffin house as The family watches television while waiting for Lois and Emily.

"We now return to Mmm-mmmh." the announcer said on tv.

As we see a Room with three black women.

"Mmm-hmmm." The first black hummed to the second black lady

"Mmm-hmmmh." The second black hummed to the first black lady.

"Mmm-hmmm." The third black lady hummed to end it.

As the studio audience laughs at their shenanigans.

As Lois and Emily come in to the front door. Lois look like she as lost weight and Emily looks tired from what they just did.

"Hey, there, sweetie. I got a wax this morning, and let's just say - you're cleared for landing, huh?" Lois said as she mentions that her hair down stairs is wax and she is ready for some kinky sex.

"Giggidy!" Quagmire shouted from outside the house.

"Lois, Emily, what the hell's up with you two lately? You're acting all weird, and you're staying out all night." Peter asked them as he is worried sick about them.

"I was just out with some of the girls, and you're not gonna believe this. We got invited to a Vogue magazine party." Lois said as they were invited to a Vogue magazine party.

"That guest list is more exclusive than the Garden of Eden." Emily said

 **Cutaway**

We see Adam and Eve with God and Frank Prime at the Garden of Eden.

"So, basically, you can eat from any tree you want, except this one" God explained as there was dirty magazines hidden behind the tree.

"Can we sit underneath it?" Adam asked.

"You know, I would just not go near it at all" Frank Prime explained as he and god smiled to hide their truth.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join the Chris and Sam couple kissing at her farm.

"God, I love you." Chris said as he kiss Sam in the mouth.

"I love you, too." Sam said as she return the kiss in mouth.

As Sam Moaning from the kissing

"Are you cold?" Chris asked her if she is cold.

"A little." Sam said as she feels a little cold.

"Here, take..." Chris said as he passes a blanket.

"No, no, no! It's okay." Sam said as she doesn't want it.

"No, it's fine. Here." Chris said as he gives her the blanket

As they look at the stars and Chris remembers something

"Sighs, I can't get that goddamn moustache song out of my head." Chris said as he complains about a song in his head.

"Oh, just think of another song." Sam said.

"I can't. There's only, like, three songs." Chris said as he only know three songs.

"Oh, that's true. And they're all by Stephen Foster." Sam said as she agrees with him.

"Yeah. Chris said.

"Mmm." Sam said.

"Sighs Um... Hey, you know, whatever happens tomorrow, I just... I just want to say thank you. Uh... I couldn't have gotten this far without you. And this may be the booze talking, or your pep talk, or both, but I think I can do it. You know, I think I can live with my kid in peace." Chris said as he thanks her for being there for him.

"Well, I'll tell you this, you sound a lot more confident than that guy who dragged me out of the saloon not too long ago." Sam said as she gets turn on.

"You know, it's funny. I still feel like I don't know anything about you after all this time. And I feel like every time I bring it up, you change the subject." Chris said as he question her origin.

"There really isn't that much to tell. My story is a lot like yours, I suppose. Because I'll tell you, I hate the West just as much as you do." Sam said as she tells him that she is normal.

"Do you really?" Chris said as she tells him that she loves him.

"For my own reasons, but, yeah." Sam said her answer.

"Oh, I like you even more now. There is something about connecting over mutual hatred that's just so much deeper than mutual love." Chris said as their bond is stronger now.

"It's true, right? If two people hate the same things, it creates a bond. Hate can move mountains." Sam said as they both laugh for what they said.

"Yeah. I, um... It's late." Sam said as she wants to go home.

"Yeah, I should take you home." Chris said as he pack up his things and takes her to her front door.

"Oh, thanks. Good luck tomorrow." Sam said good night.

"Okay. Um..." Chris said until Sam gave him some tongue.

As Sam chuckles and Chris look surprised,

"Good night." Chris said as he went back to his house.

Now we join Brian at Stewie's office for his quarterly evaluation

"Brian, thanks for showing up so promptly for your quarterly evaluation. Now, then. I'm going to do something I call the compliment sandwich where I say something good, then talk about where you need improvement and then end with something good." Stewie

"Whatever you gotta do." Brian said his response.

"Okay. Let's see. Something good. Something good. Something good. You look like Snoopy, and it makes me smile. Where you need improvement. You have smelly dog farts." Stewie said as he likes Brian look like snoopy and hates his farts.

As Brian shrug it off.

"Something good. Something good. You really dazzled that rep from the Cincinnati office last week." Stewie said as he sets up a cutaway about himself and Brian.

 **Cutaway**

We see Stewie in a suit and mustache as he watches Brian pointing on a pie chart.

"That is sensational. You really made me feel confident about those numbers. Listen, if you're ever looking for a change of scenery... we could sure use a fellow like you in Cincinnati" Stewie said.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to Stewie's room as Brian argue with Stewie.

That was you in disguise. Brian said as he just interview Stewie.

"No, it wasn't. Stewie said as he lied.

"Yes, it was." Brian said his response.

"No, it wasn't." Stewie said as he lied.

"Fine, it wasn't." Brian said as he gave up the argument.

"It was." Stewie said as he tells the truth.

Now we join Frank and Peter at Pewterschmidt mansion as they collaborates with Carter to get Lois and Emily back on track.

"Mr. Pewterschmidt, I need your help. Lois is out of controI. I mean, she's acting crazier than I did that time I tried Ecstasy." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about himself using ecstasy.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter, Stewie, and Brian watching TV as Peter starts acting weird.

"Oh, Brian, your fur is so soft. Oh, your ears. Your ears are like dog ears. Oh, this couch" Peter starts touching Stewie as he makes noises. "Stewie, your head is so smooth. How is that even…How you doing that? How you doing that? Oh! Everything here is fantastic. Oh, these clothes" he undresses to his underwear as he lies on the floor continuing to make stupid noises and moving around all stupid.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to Pewterschmidt mansion.

"I'm really worried about her, Mr. Pewterschmidt and I figured I'd come to you since you were always good at reeling her in." Frank said as he begs for his help.

"Well, Lois was always a wild stallion but don't worry. I know how to controI her. And I'll help you but first, Peter griffin must have to do something for me." Carter said as he pull out a pine cone.

"Eat this pine cone, Peter." Carter said as it shocked Frank and Peter.

"Well?" Peter said in question until Frank elbow his side as sign that they need to do this to save lois.

"Eat it. It will amuse me." Carter said as he tells peter to eat to amuse him.

As Peter begins eats the pine cone and he doesn't like eating it at all.

"How is it? How does it taste?" Carter asked him about the pine cone as peter is still eating it.

"It's awfuI." Peter said as he doesn't like eating pine cone while Frank cover his eyes so he can't watch.

"Finish it. Eat it." Carter said as he tells him to finish eating the pine cone.

"I hate it." Peter said as he is eating the pine cone.

"Eat it. Eat it. Swallow it." Carter said as he tells him to swallow all of the pine cone.

"It hurts." Peter said as he is struggling to swallow the pine cone.

"This is for Lois, Pops. Go on." Frank said as he cheers him on.

"It hurts!" Peter said as he is in pain while swallowing the pine cone and he was done, the pine cone was in his stomach.

"Good." Carter said as he is pleased by what peter did.

"All right. We good to go?" Frank asked carter if they are ready to save Lois from herself.

"Yup." Carter said his response.

So they team up and they decided kidnap her at a _Vogue_ party at the metro club at night. As their limo arrive at the club near the red carpet, they were dress up as people who are part of the party. Frank was dress in gangster clothing, Carter wearing a beaning plus white tang top and jeans and Peter is dress like a lady with purple louse blouse shirt, black jeans plus long straight brown hair.

"All right, how's my man-tan?" Carter asked them about his man tan.

"There we go. All set." Frank said as he finish spraying Carter man tan to perfection.

"Good. A little body glitter for you, pops." Frank said as he puts glitter on Peters Man boobs to make him look hot.

"Yeah. Yeah. That's hot. That's hot." Carter said until his notice what he said and he stop.

"All right, let's do this." Carter said as they got into the club until Frank asked him something.

"What are you doing to him? Like ... obvious." Frank asked carter if he was going to take peter in the back and wreak him.

"Shut up." Carter said as he dismiss the rumors of what he just said.

Now we join Lois talking to one of her model friends about how skinning they are.

"Check out these ribs, Lois." Lois's model friend said as she reveal her rib cage.

"Oh, yeah? That's nothing." Lois said as she show her rib cage which made look super skin and unhealthy.

"Go ahead. Try them out." Lois said as she dare her friend to play with her ribs cage.

So her model friend played Lois's Ribs like a xylophone and they sound like a xylophone

As Emily was there at the bar of the party hoping that someone can stop her mom before it too late.

"Hey, not bad." Lois's model friend said Until Frank, peter and carter bag Lois and drag her out of the party into their limo with Emily included.

"You see Jimmy Smits in there?" Carter asked them if they see Jimmy Smits at the party.

"Yeah. Emily said as Peter was excited.

"Yeah, that was cooI." Frank said as he was having a good day.

Now back to Stewie office with Brian get his business.

"So, what did you wanna see me about?"

"You know, Brian, there was a note in the suggestion box that says: "Stewie should eat a steaming bag of " Well, I'm not gonna say the last word, but I think you know what it is." Stewie asked him about the note saying that "Stewie should eat a steaming bag of shit!" and Frank Jr laugh the last word and he quiet himself foe Stewie to continued.

"Look, Brian, a corporation is a lot like a centipede. It only works if all the legs are moving toward the same end. And you know what you are, Brian?" Stewie asked him about what was his part in the corporation.

"You're a busted leg." Stewie said the answer and Brian knew what it means.

"What? Are you firing me?" Brian said in shocked.

"Don't think about coming back and shooting up the place because security has your picture." Stewie said as it show Rupert dress as a cop with brian wanted poster.

Until Rosie and Maddie busted into Stewie office dress as cops.

"Freeze, scum bag!" Maddie shout at Stewie to surrender as Stewie raised his hand in the air.

"What the hell are you guys doing?" Stewie shouted as Rosie puts hand cuffs.

"Stewart Gilligan Griffin, you are under arrest for cash scam and creating a company without informing the legal system." Rosie said to Stewie that his cash scam is over.

Bull shit, I'm clean you fool. You cops have nothing on me. Steiwe said as he is innocent.

"Oh I beg to differ." Maddie said as John, Tyler and Frank Jr were wearing wires.

This piss off Stewie as they drag him away out of his office.

"I got your badge numbers. You better hope I never get out!" Stewie shout from the hallway.

"What the fuck that I just witness?" Brian said out loud.

Now we join Peter, Emily, Frank and Carter with Lois on the chair in the living room.

"What the hell are you guys doing?" Lois asked them on what they are doing to her.

"You're not leaving this room untiI you agree to stop this modeling thing once and for all." Carter said as he demands that Lois quit her modeling career.

"This isn't gonna work, you guys." Emily said as she and frank realized something.

"Why can't you understand I'm doing what I want?" Lois said as she has great desire for modeling.

"Jeez, Carter, what are we doing? I mean, if Mom wants to be a modeI we don't got any right to stop her." Frank said as he seeing his mother in law's great desire for modeling. Soon acquiesces to Lois' career, insisting to Carter that it is her right.

"You really mean that, Frank and Peter?" Lois asked him if they mean it.

"Of course, we do. We just want you to be happy." Peter said his response with frank nodding with aprovel.

"This is ridiculous. No daughter of mine is going to be happy." Carter said as he is being stubborn and that just made Frank mad.

"Excuse me, Carter. I think I owe you this." Frank said as he punch carter in the face.

That's for giving me a book last Christmas. Peter said as he kicked carter in the ball for good measure.

"You're rich, you jerk." Emily said as she slam her Elbow on his chest.

"Well, Lois, I guess you should go ahead and get back to your party." Frank said as he leading her toward the door.

Until he notice that Lois isn't leaving.

"What's wrong? Aren't you gonna go do your little turn on the catwalk, Lois? On the catwalk? Yeah, on the catwalk? Do your little turn on the catwalk?" peter asked her why she isn't leave toward the party.

"Well, now that you say you're fine with it to be honest, I'm not really sure I wanna do it anymore. I think all I really wanted was the freedom to know I could and now I have it because I have you two." Lois said as she realizing that she indeed has the full freedom to fulfill her wishes, she quits the career anyway

You sure do, Lois. Peter said as they hug and Lois notice that her father is still knocked out.

"What are we gonna do with him?" Lois asked them

"Hey, you wanna make him really mad, Lois? Let's have sex on his back like we used to." Peter said as Peter and Lois have sex on Carter's back

Which causes Frank and Emily to leave the house and they decide to go back to the Vogue party.

"Groaning, What the hell's going on?" Carter said as he start to wake up until he see Peter and Lois having sex.

As carter Screaming with disgust until peter crashing a lap on carter head which knocks him out again.

 **Chapter ends**

 **I hope everyone enjoyed! This is thanking for pen123 and Family Guy Fan writer 15, Thank you all for cutaways, scenes, favoring, having me on alerts and with that. So enjoy and see you next chapter.**


	12. Chapter 61: Peter's Got Woods

**Chapter 61: Peter's Got Woods**

 **Narrator** _  
_ _Fresh out the net box  
Stop, look, and watch  
Ready yet, get set  
It's Family Guy!_

We see paparazzi taking photos of the cast as they come out of the limo and they walk on the red carpet _._

 **Chorus:** _  
_ _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

First it show Frank waling out of the limo with a poster with the words "oh" and he poses for the camera.

Then its shows Meg comes in looking all sexy as she signs autographs while she winks at the fans.

Then it turn to Lois comes in hopping while grabbing rose as she gives a kiss toward the fans.

 **Chorus:**

 _Check it, check it, check it  
Now this is just an introduction  
Before I blow your mind  
The show is All of That and yes we do it all the time_

Then it shows Frank Jr poses as he pull his hat down his chest as he throws a rose to the Fans.

Then next person to show up on the carpet is Stewie. As he flips his hat back to his head while he give autographs to fans.

Then Brian comes in sliding on the red carpet as he waves at the fan as he walks in.

 **Chorus:**

 _So sit your booty on the floor or in a chair  
Ground or in the air  
Just don't go nowhere_

Then Emily comes in give autographs as she smiles at the fans as she tells one of her fans to call her.

Then the scene shows Persephone puts a rose on her mouth with a sexy angry look on her face.

 **Chorus:**

 _Cause everything we do  
It's all of that!  
When entertaining you  
We all of that!_

Then Chris shimming down the carp as he gives the fan a shout out.

Then Peter slide towards the carpet as he flips his hat back on his head.

 **Chorus:**

 _My posse and my crew  
It's all of that!  
So sit still cause we're coming right back_

Then the scene shows John throws a rose at his fans.

As the scene, changes to Tyler puts on rose his mouth as he gives everyone thumbs up.

 _ **Chorus:**_

 _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

Then scene change to the Family Guy MC Cast walks down the stairs as they take a group photo while looking gangsters of the 80. All this while music ends as the scene fades to black.

Now we join Frank, John, Tyler, Peter and Brian are watching television show called Old People Agree With Arnold Palmer.

"And now back to Old People Agree with Arnold Palmer." The announcer said as we see Arnold Palmer saying thing to old people that they agree with.

"Tomato soup, grilled cheese, and a weak cup of tea is the best lunch in my book." Arnold Palmer said the things he like for lunch.

"He's right." The older guy said

"I enjoy things I remember." His friend said.

"Peter, Frank, me and Meg off to my book club. Don't forget you two have to go to the PTA meeting." Lois asks Peter and Frank to go the PTA meeting

"Me and Pop? Go to a PTA meeting? What, are you high?" Frank asked her on why him and Peter going to PTA meeting also asking her if she is high on weed.

"Not anymore. I crashed hours ago. By the way, we're out of chips, cookies, and Funny Bones. Now, I'm going to my book club and you are going to the meeting." Lois said as she and Meg leave for book club.

"Hey, Brian, how about you and the boys go to that meeting for us, huh?" Peter asks Brian to go to the PTA meeting with John and Tyler.

"Yeah. I don't think so." Brian said as John and Tyler agree with him.

"Oh, come on, buddy. You owe us." Peter said as Brian owes a favor.

"You remember what I did for you last week?" Frank said as he set up a cutaway about they were assists Brian in this performance.

 **Cutaway**

We see Brian sing " _Sighing Softly To The River"_ from the comic opera " _The Pirates of Penzance"_ right outside.

 **Brian** _  
Sighing softly to the river comes the loving breeze.  
Setting nature all a-quiver, rustling through the trees._

As Peter, Frank Jr are both dancing and sing their part of the performance.

 **Peter and Frank Jr** _  
Through the trees.  
_

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we are back to the living room with Frank and the y gang as Brian caves in.

"All right. We'll go." Brian said as he agrees to go to the PTA Meeting.

Now we join the trio of John, Tyler and Brian at James woods high school for the PTA Meeting as they spot quagmire in the meeting.

"Quagmire, what are you doing here? You don't have kids." John asked him.

"Don't be so sure, Guys. I've slept with chicks all over the world. Who knows, I could have kids in their 20s." Quagmire said as he sets up a cutaway about one of kids from around the world.

 **Cutaway**

The scene shifts to Spain, where a woman was waiting for her child she had with Quagmire. The son who lives in Madrid, He looks like Quagmire but, with a Spanish mustache, a striped shirt and a ponytail and he speaks Spanish and puts "Giggity" in between words.

"¿Dónde demonios has estado? ¡Es la una y media de la mañana! (Where the hell have you been? It's one-thirty in the morning!)" The woman shouted.

"¡No tomes ese tono conmigo! ¡Estaba fuera bebiendo con los chicos! (Don't take that tone with me! I was out drinking with the guys!)" The Spanish Quagmire explained.

"¡Me pones absolutamente furioso a veces! (You make me absolutely furious sometimes!)" The woman shouted.

"¡Ah, no puedo hablar contigo cuando estás así! ¡Voy a ver la corrida de toros! (Ah, I can't talk to you when you're like this! I'm going to watch the bullfight!)" The Spanish Quagmire left the house.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we are back at the gym with Brian and quagmire.

"What are you doing here?" Quagmire asked them on why they here.

"We got roped into this by Peter and Frank." Tyler said as he explains why they are here.

As Brian notice a beautiful black woman sitting alone and he took this chance to talk to her.

"Wow, that's a lovely color. Your –Your-Your dress is…. the color of your dress is …I like… You're very pretty." Brian asked her about the color of her dress is nice but he is loosing it.

"Oh, thank you. I'm the 11th grade history teacher, Miss Parks." Miss Parks said as she thank Brian for his commenting about her dress.

"Oh! Like Rosa Parks. Or, you know, or someone white named Parks." Brian said as he said something racist until miss parkers just laugh's.

"Nothing cuter than a nervous white dog." Miss Parks said as she thinks he is cute while as John and Tyler were started singing in the background.

"Well, I'm Brian and gosh, if I'm not being too forward, it's lovely to meet you, Miss Parks." Brian said as he introduce himself to her.

 **John and Tyler**

 _OoOh_

"Oh, please. Call me Shauna." Shauna said as When She introduces herself, there was John and Tyler's heavenly singing of the name "Shauna" in the background.

 **John and Tyler**

 _OoOh Shauna! Shauna!_

No we join everyone at the dinner table in the dining room.

"So, Brian, you ready to go play some darts at The Clam?" Peter asked brian if he is join the gang tonight to go play some darts at The Clam.

"Sorry, Peter. I can't make it tonight. I have a date." Brian said as Peter does a spit take on the twins.

"Dad!" Meg and Persephone shouted as it piss off both Frank and John from him doing that to them. They both plan to get payback on peter later on when he hears something shocking again.

"You were supposed to drive tonight. What am I supposed to do? If I drive, I'll have to have a bunch of drinks first because I am very self-conscious about my driving." Peter said as he complain about him driving the car instead of Brian.

"Oh, you've got a date! What's his name?" Frank Jr asked him about his date being a man which caused both Tyler and stewie to laught their pants off.

"HaHaHaHaHa! Do you see that? Do you see what he just did? He made it seem as though you were a homosexuaI, Brian." Tyler said as he laughs at Frank Jr joke including Stewie.

"Ha! That's funny to me too." Stewie said as he squirts milk out his nose.

"How exciting, Brian." Emily said as she cheer on Brian for finding someone.

"So who's the lucky lady?" Lois asked Brian on who he asked on that day.

"Well, actually, her name is Shauna Parks." Brian said his response which shocked everyone that knew that person.

"Meg and Persephone's teacher?" Lois and Emily said out loud.

As Frank and John did the spit take on Peter from learning that brian is dating the twins teacher and they heard Peter scream.

"Aaaaaaaaha!" Peter screamed from the milk was spilt on his body.

"Yeah, we really hit it off. She's great." Brian said as he is really happy that

"Brian on a date. That'll be more pathetic than that game of Marco Polo I played with Helen Keller." Stewie said as he sets up a cutaway about him playing game of Marco Polo with Helen Keller.

 **Cutaway**

We see Stewie and Helen Keller in a swimming pool with Stewie swimming around with his eyes closed but Helen is just standing there doing nothing.

"Marco. Marco. Marco. Marco. Marco. Marco. Marco. Marco. Marco" Stewie repeated.

But Helen would never say Polo, since she couldn't hear him. She also didn't move, as she couldn't see anything.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join Brian and Shauna at Ristorante as they go out on a date.

I don't know. I mean, I think I want to have kids someday. Shauna answers Brain question of having kids someday.

"Oh, I love kids. I just love them. I can't get enough of those little buggers, let me tell you. You know, it's like I tell the other volunteers down at the adoption center: My God, you know, if I could just take all the orphans in the world and just, you know, buy a farm somewhere and let them all run free, you know. Just let them do little macaroni-art pictures of their dead parents." Brian said as he brag about what he do when he has kids someday.

Now the conversation was quite so Brian asked Shauna something.

"So what's it like to work at a high schooI?" Brian asked her about working at the school.

"Oh, Brian, I just love it. Working at James Woods High is great." Shauna said as she enjoys working at the school.

"You know, I've always wondered why they named if after James Woods, you know? I mean, there's got to be somebody more deserving. Like, just, you know, off the top of my head, I don't know Sidney Poitier, Reggie Jackson, Martin Luther King You know, those are just three names that come to mind." Brian said as he suggests changing the name of James Woods Regional High School.

"Brian, that's a great idea. We should get them to rename the school after Dr. King." Shauna said as she being black, likes Brian's idea of honoring Martin Luther King Jr.

"You like Dr. King? Because I love Dr. King. I love M. L. K! Man, he's my guy. He's I mean, I love all black people, you know. I mean, if I could take all the black people in the world and just, you know, just buy a farm somewhere and let them all Whoa, you know what, that actually didn't really come out right." Brian said as he tries to impress her but he made what he said worse.

"Brian, relax. I'm having a great time. You don't have to try so hard." Shauna tells brian that she is having a good tiome.

"Great. Great. 'Cause, you know, I'm not okay with slavery. Just so we're clear. I mean, if I was offered a slave, I'd say no." Brian said as he tells her that he not into slavery.

Now we join Lois tucking in Frank Jr and Stewie to bed in their room.

"By the way, Bonnie we just finished reading The Da Vinci Code at my book club. You were right. It's terrific." Lois said as she was talking to bonnie on the phone about the book she and Meg read at book club.

"Let me guess. Some flowery, 300-page, menopausaI masturbatory aid." Stewie asked as lois put the babies into their cribs while Frank Jr grabs the book to read it.

"I loved it. And the chapters are only about two pages long. So you feeI really smart when you read it." Lois said it out loud which piss off the babies.

"Take it outside, Grandma Lois." Frank Jr said as he tells her to go outside the room if she wants to talk to bonnie on the phone.

As Lois leave the room she turn to the babies in their cribs.

"Good night, my sweeties." Lois said as she turn off the lights and closed the door until Frank Jr turn on the light so he and Stewie can read The Da Vinci Code.

"Oh, yes. Just as I thought: France, art murder?" Frank Jr said until he saw the book had murder in its pages and Stewie was amazed by that.

"Well, this is a bigger surprise than that time Peter vanished into thin air." Stewie said as he sets up a cutaway about him and peter.

 **Cutaway**

We see Stewie eating cereal while Peter sits next to him playing peekaboo.

"Hey, Stewie. Peekaboo!" Peter said.

"Yes, I see you, fat man" Stewie answered.

"Where's Daddy?" Peter asked.

"Where did you go? Oh, this is impossible. I can hear you, but I can't see... Well, he must really be gone!" Stewie said as he picked his nose.

"Peekaboo!" Peter shouted.

"How the hell did you do that? I thought you'd disappeared, otherwise I wouldn't have picked my... Great, leave when I'm in the middle of a sentence" Stewie said as Peter closed his eyes.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we return to the Mallque/Griffin house4 at night as we see peter watching TV with the boys at the living room until Brian walks in.

"Hey, there you are, Brian. We're all set for tonight, right?" Peter asked him if he ready for hang out tonight.

"Oh, tonight's no good, Peter. I have another date with Shauna." Brian said his response of no since he has a date with Shauna.

"Oh, come on. Again? Well, fine, Brian. If that girI is more important to you than me then I guess I'll have to find a new best paI." Peter said as he complain about Brian never having time for him so he decides to find a new best paI.

Now we join Peter and the boys at bedrock inside the house of Barney Rubble

"Boy, Barney, it's sure been great hanging out with you." Peter said as he waits for Barney behind the bathroom door.

"I've enjoyed it, too, Peter." Barney said in agreement.

"Hey, you almost done in the john? 'Cause we're late for darts." Peter asked him if he is done with his business.

"All done, Peter." Barney said as he leave the bathroom as he used a pelican serves as Barney's toilet.

"You think you have a crap job." The pelican serves as Barney's toilet, sarcastically remarking.

Now we are in the living room with Peter watching TV with Meg and Frank plus John and Persephone.

"I don't need Brian to watch TV with. I got you two, Meg and Persephone." Peter said as he has the twins to hang out with today.

Until Peter does something stupid which piss off Frank and John.

"Hey, what's that? What's that? Is that a dog? Is that another dog on the TV, huh? You see that? Go get it. Go get it." Peter said as he treats them like Brian.

This also piss off their boyfriend even more as peter continues to treat the girls as his replacement dogs.

"What's that? Who's that? Who's that? Oh! Who's that? Who's there? Is there somebody at the door? Somebody at the door? Huh? Somebody at the door? What are you gonna do about it? What are you gonna do about it? What are you-." Peter said until the twins couldn't take it anymore.

We're not dogs, you fat bastard! Meg and Persephone screaming at Peter.

Now we join everyone in the kitchen eating breakfast as Stewie and Frank Jr are still reading the book.

"Wow, Stewie, Frank Jr, you're both up early." Emily said as she takes a seat next to her baby brother.

"I'm up still. I've been reading all night." Stewie said as Lois came to talk to them until Frank Jr stops her.

"Hang on, Grandma. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on." Frank Jr said as he continues reading the book.

"Well, we loved this book. Nothing like a good story to recharge your batteries." Stewie said until both Frank Jr and Stewie fell asleep on their oatmeal.

That's when Brian came in threw the kitchen door.

"Hey, everybody, check this out." Brian said as he give Lois today's newspaper.

"This is wonderful. Look at this, Peter." Lois said as she passes the newspaper to peter and he reads it.

"Two hundred die in train derailment." Oh, God, Lois. That is just morbidly obese. Peter said as he read the wrong thing.

"No, no, Peter. Right here. I mentioned to Shauna that they ought to change the name of James Woods High to Martin Luther King Jr, and she really ran with it. The schooI board is voting on it tomorrow." Brian said as he suggests changing the name of James Woods Regional High School during his date. Shauna, who is black, likes Brian's idea of honoring Martin Luther King Jr., and the board holds a meeting to consider the name change.

"Congratulations, Brian." Lois said as he and the family congratulate him for doing that.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait, wait, wait. You and your girlfriend are taking the name James Woods off the high school?" Peter said as he question on why change the name of the school.

"Well, yes. For Martin Luther King." Brian said his answer

"That's crazy. You're gonna name the school after the star of Space 1999?" Peter said that MLK was from the star of Space 1999.

"No, that's Martin Landau. "Brian said his answer.

"Oh." Peter said until Frank Jr question Brian.

"The guy who played Sheneneh?" Frank Jr asked Brian about MLK.

"That's Martin Lawrence." Brian said his answer to that response

"The drunk crooner?" John asked Brian about MLK was a drunk crooner.

"That's Dean Martin." Brian said his answer to that response

"The drink that's best served on the rocks?" Tyler asked Brian about the name of the school

"Martini & Rossi." Brian said his answer to that response

"The guy on The West Wing?" Frank asked Brian about the name of the school

"Martin Sheen." Brian said his answer to that response

"The guy from Platoon?" Peter asked again if MLK was from platoon.

"Charlie Sheen." Brian said his answer to that response

"No, no, the other guy from Platoon." Frank Jr asked for another person.

"It's.?" Brian said as he tries to answer that response

"Come on." Peter, John, Tyler, Frank and Frank Jr said all together.

"Willem Dafoe." Brian said his answer to that response.

"No, it's Tom Berenger." Peter said as Brian got it wrong.

"We were looking for Tom Berenger." Frank said as they were look for this answer for their pretend game show.

"Well, thanks for playing. I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. Frank Jr said as he thanks Brian for play the game.

"Oh, that's okay. I had a lot of fun. I'm a big fan of the show. Wait a minute!" Brian said as he enjoyed the game until he realized they got off topic.

"Peter, Martin Luther King was an inspiration to an entire generation. He was a driving force behind the civil rights movement. Lois explain to peter about who Martin Luther King is but peter didn't listen.

"Lois, we're talking about Rhode Island's own James Woods here. He's a hero in these parts, huh? Use your head. Peter said as he explains that James Woods is Rhode Island's hero.

"Peter, you're acting like an idiot." Brian said as he insults peter for being an idiot.

"Oh, yeah? I don't like the way you've been acting lately. I think it has a lot to do with that woman you've been spending so much time with." Peter said as he insults Brian for hang out Shauna.

"Why don't you just mind your own damn business, Peter?" Brian said as he tells him off.

"Will you guys stop fighting, please?" Meg shouted at them as she and Persephone are piss off.

"What's wrong with Meg and Persephone?" Chris asked his mother on what is wrong with the griffin twins.

"Oh, nothing. It's just her time of the month." Lois said as she tells her son that the twins are having their periods.

"Not again." The sheep saying as he apparently groans about his "job" as Meg and Persephone's tampon.

Now we going Brian and Shauna at James woods high school as they meet up with the board holds a meeting to consider the name change.

"Well, Mr. Griffin, your arguments for the school's name change are quite compelling." The Boardman said

"Brian, I think you did it." Shauna said as she hug Brian for a job well done.

Oh, amen. By the way, I just want to remind everybody to put their e-mall address on the list in the back there so we can send you our quarterly newsletter. It's chock-full of goings-on around the schooI. It's got a word jumble. A little hint: all the answers have to do with something here at the schooI. Bruce said in agreement.

"Yes, I'm sure we're all looking forward to that. Now, unless there is any objection, I move that the board pass this measure." The Boardman said as he making his final judgement until peter came in threw the gym door.

"I've got an objection, and so does this man." Peter said as he opens the door to James wood himself.

"James Woods!" The Boardman said out loud.

"Oh, my God." Shauna said in shocked.

"I don't believe it." Brian said also in shocked for what has peter done.

"Hi. How are you? Hello, everyone." James woods said hi to everyone in the gym.

"He brought James Woods here? What the hell is he doing?" Shauna asked in question on how peter did this.

"Believe me, Peter does stupid things all the time. That's why he got fired from that airline." Brian said as he sets up a cutaway about peter time working at the airline.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter as a pilot. A stewardess arrived.

"Coffee for you, Capt. Griffin?" the stewardess asked.

"Thank you, stewardess. Hey, where are we right now?" Peter asked in a joking way.

"On an airplane?" the stewardess asked.

"No. This room. What is this room called?" Peter asked in a joking way.

"The flight deck?" the stewardess asked.

"No." Peter asked in a joking way.

"Control room?" the stewardess asked.

"No." Peter asked in a joking way.

"Cockpit?" the stewardess asked.

"Oh, God! I told you I'd get her to say it. Oh, God! All right. Go on. Get out of here" Peter laughed out loud.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we are back to the podium with James woods.

Look, I came as soon as Peter contacted my website. Let me just say, I'm all in favor of renaming the school after Dr. King. James woods said as he who says it's OK to change the name of the school.

"What?" Peter said in shocked

"Wow! A big star and yet so humble. James Woods High School it remains." The Boardman said as he is impressed by Woods' humility, the board decides not to change the school's name.

"What?" Shauna said in shocked

"You can't be serious." Brian said in complaint as he is furious with Peter's interference with his and Shauna's idea.

"Yes! This is more exciting than that time Frank Jr and I got to ride the washing machine." Peter said as he set up a cutaway about himself and his grandson playing with the washing machine.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter and Frank Jr having fun while being inside the washing machine as Lois does the laundry.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join the Mallque/Griffin house at daytime as the family at Kitchen eating lunch with James woods.

"Man, what a great lunch, Lois. Thank you so much for having me over." James woods said as he thanks Lois for having him over.

"Well, it's not often we get to meet celebrities." Lois said as she enjoys having a famous person in their house.

"Yeah, except when I was Christina Aguilera's manager." Frank Jr said as he sets up a cutaway about himself being Christina Aguilera's manager.

 **Cutaway**

We see Christina Aguilera singing at a recording studio. Frank Jr arrived.

"Okay, let me just go ahead and stop you right there. You sound terrible, all right? You're doing this thing, which is just, you know... What the hell is that? And you look like if I touched you, you'd be sticky... and frankly, you smell bad. You're pretty much offensive to all five senses" Frank Jr said.

"That's only four" Christina argued.

"Well, actually, you know when you smell something and it gets stuck in there... and you can sort of taste it? Yeah. Well, I'm tasting you right now and it tastes awful. Truly disgusting, like salty garbage" Frank Jr said as Christina licked her armpit.

"Yeah, I totally taste it" Christina agreed.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we are back at the kitchen as Brian comes in threw the door.

"Oh, Brian, there you are. Look who's here for lunch." Lois said

"Hello, Mr. Woods. Peter tells me you're in films. Peter, can I talk to you in the living room?" Brian asked peter to talk at the living room.

As they enter the living room with John and Tyler hiding behind the stairs.

"I can't believe you went to that much effort just to sabotage me. You're a jerk, you know that?" Brian said as he is furious with Peter for his interference with his and Shauna's idea.

"Listen, at least I wasn't trying to change the name of the school to impress my girlfriend." Peter said as he stick to Brian and his accuse.

"Now that is not true." Brian said in responses.

"Oh, yeah? Then why did you pick Martin Luther King? Why not Ronald Reagan? He was always fun, especially in his later years." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about Ronald Reagan later years.

 **Cutaway**

We see Ronald Reagan outside of a building.

"Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall. Tear it down. Reagan smash. Reagan smash" Ronald kept punching the walls of a building. Inside, it was a fast food restaurant.

"What's that?" employee 1 asked.

"Oh, it's just Reagan. Just leave him alone. He'll tire himself out" employee 2 answered.

"Reagan sleepy" Ronald slept on the ground.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we are back to the living room.

"You're an ass, you know that? You're just jealous because I'm hanging around with someone else." Brian said as he is still furious with Peter's interference with his and Shauna's idea.

"Hey, I don't care, man. Girls are stupid anyway." Peter said as he doesn't care about Brian life.

"Well, fine. Then maybe I'll go see her right now." Brian said as he leave towards the door.

"Fine! I'll just hang out with James Woods." Peter said as he decides to hang out with James wood as James enter the living room.

"Well, Peter, thanks for lunch. Guess I'll be heading back to old L. A. now." James woods said as he has to leave to L.A. real soon.

"You're leaving? Oh, man, I thought maybe you could stick around and, you know, maybe you and me could be pals." Peter said as he asked him to be friends and hang out.

"You mean just hang around like regular people." James woods said as he asked they will hang like regular people.

"Regular people, sure, yeah." Peter said his response.

"That does sound appealing. You know what? I'm gonna check back into my hotel." James woods said

"Oh, screw that. You'll stay with me right here. Come on, we'll have a campout in the yard." Peter said as he leads him to the yard for a campout.

"Wicked cooI." James woods said his response.

Now we join Frank Jr, Peter and James woods camping outside the Mallque/Griffin house.

"His sweater was neatly folded on the grave so we went back to the car and the severed hook was hanging from the door handle because the calls were coming from inside the house." Frank Jr said as he scared the duo with is story.

"Ooh! Ooh!" Both James woods and Peter said as they chuckle

"That's a scary story, Peter. It's almost as scary as boo!" James woods said as he scared peter.

"Ahh!" Peter said as he was frighten by that scared but they all laugh for having fun.

"Boy, James Woods, you're the best friend a guy could ever have." Peter said as he an James woods are become very good friends.

"I feeI the same way about you, Peter." James woods said as they performed " **I've Got James Woods** " song. The song is sung in the tune of "You Two" from the 1968 musical film Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

 **Peter** :

 _Someone to care for, to be there for. I have James Woods._

As peter dance around the kitchen then destroy his family photo to make a picture with James woods.

 **James** :

 _Someone to do for, muddle through for. You have James Woods._

As we see James woods get a present for peter from under the bed and peter opens it to reveal a t-shirt that said I'm with James woods with a red arrow pointing towards him.

 **Peter** :

 _Someone to share joy or despair with, whichever betides you._

As the scene show them on a boat ride at a lake, then riding a two sited bike and they on a type rope.

 **James** :

 _Life becomes a chore..._

Then it show Peter and James doing the hedges together like buddies.

 **Both** :

 _Unless you're living for…_

Then the scene show the hedges look like themselves.

 **Peter** :

 _Someone to tend to, be a friend to. I have James Woods._

Then the scene shows peter making pancakes for James woods and gives them to him in bed. Then the scene shows peter holding toilet paper for him as they were inside a bathroom.

 **James** :

 _Someone to strive for, do or die for. You have James Woods._

Now they are at a hospital as James is giving blood to peter for a blood transfusion, then he writes his name with his blood on Peter's shirt.

 **Both** :

 _It's true, we two, have a likewise point of view._

As they scene show them playing golf, then they were eating hotdogs at haven brothers and final they were posing nude for an art class.

 **James** :

 _Because James Woods has you._

Then they were doing a ventriloquist routine as peter was the dummy and James woods does his voice.

 **Peter** :

 _And I have James Woods, too!_

As they scene ends with them hugging each other.

Now we join Brian going to meet Shauna at the movie theater to watch, "I'm sleeping with someone at paramount starring Ashley Judd.

"Shauna? Shauna?" Brian said as he tries to spot Shauna in the theater?

"Brian, over here." Shauna said as she is eating next to mayor west.

"I couldn't save your seat." Shauna said as her apologies to Brian for not saving a seat.

"I know I'm late, I apologize." Brian said as he tells her that he was the one who is late.

"Hello, fellow moviegoer." Adam west said to the couple.

"Sorry, I couldn't get him to move." Shauna said as she apologies to Brian for not get rid of Adam west off his seat.

"Where have you been?" Shauna asked Brian on where he has been.

"I just had it out with Peter." Brian said as he explain s that he and peter had a fight.

"Would you like some corn? I brought it from home." Adam west asked them if they would like some corn.

"Peter? You're still not friends with that idiot after what he did?" Shauna said in anger.

"Well, I mean, that may be a little harsh. I'm not going to avoid Peter like the drunk chick at a party." Brian said as he sets up a cutaway about a drunk chick at a party.

 **Cutaway**

The scene shifts to a party.

"I just smoked the wrong side of a cigarette! Who wants to go swimming? This song is about me!" a drunk girl partied so hard that she crashed on top of the stereo.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we are back to theater with our couple still talk in-between Adam west

Look, Brian, Peter is a jerk. And as far as I'm concerned, it's either him or me. Shauna said as She is upset that he still talks to Peter and makes Brian choose between her and Peter.

Shauna, come on, why you want to play a brother like that? Brian said

"I think I have my answer." Shauna said as she leaves Brian in the theater alone with the mayor. This caused them eventually call off their relationship.

You know what? I will have some of that. Brian said as he takes some popcorn from Adam's bucket until he notice that it was cream corn.

"What the hell is this?" Brian asked the mayor about the corn that Adam ate.

"Creamed corn. I brought it from home, because I don't like the creamed corn they have here. It's too crunchy." Adam west said his response.

Now we are back to the Mallque/Griffin house in the hallway with Brian as he comes from down stairs.

"Peter, I'm sorry, I was a jerk. Let's be friends again. Okay." Brian said as he makes it to his friend room.

"Peter, can I talk to you for a second?" Brian asked peter from behind the door.

"What is it, Brian?" Peter answer him.

"Listen, I'm sorry for everything that's happened between us and I figure, I don't know, I thought maybe we could be friends again, huh? What do you say? I kind of miss sleeping at the foot of your bed." Brian said as he apologies to peter and he wants to be friends again.

"I don't think so." Peter said his response

"Come on, can't we just go…" Brian said as he opens the door to see James woods on his spot on the bed.

"I tried to tell you." Peter said as he tries to tell him.

"This is my spot now, Brian." James woods said as he tells Brian this is his spot now.

"Oh. I see." Brian said as he close the door.

As they went to sleep, Frank Jr was also in the bed sleeping and he kick out James woods off the bed since he doesn't like him taking spot from people while he is sleeping.

This caused peter to look in awe on how cute his grandson is.

"Look, Lois. Lois, look, look, look. Frank Jr's dreaming he's running." Peter said as he wakes up Lois to make her see her grandson sleep and he is making running movement.

Now we see James enter the bathroom in the hall to see Emily brush her teeth in a nightgown.

"Hi Emily." James said as he gets a boner.

"Oh hi Mr. Woods, what are you doing here?" Emily asked as h she feels uncomfortable by the way he is looking at her.

As he try to make out with her and touch her boobs and also her pelvis.

She would have lots of reasons for to be uncomfortable with that so she kicks him in the nuts.

Now we join peter and James at the park playing Frisbee at the park.

"Okay, James, you ready? Now catch it in your mouth like Brian." Peter said as he throw the Frisbee to James woods hoping he catch it in his mouth like Brian but it falls off his mouth.

"James, you got to bite down." Peter said as he tells him to bite down on the Frisbee.

"I got a question, Peter. Motivation. What is my motivation?" James asked him what his motivation in this game is.

"Just throw it back to me." Peter asking him to throw it back.

"You know what? This is boring. I got a better idea." James said as he got a better idea instead of this game.

Now we join peter, Frank Jr and James in the living room.

"James, do we really have to watch Videodrome?" Peter asked him if he has to watch this.

"Yeah, I think you're really going to appreciate all the subtle nuances in my performance." James woods said as he star his program on the tv.

"Shh, See? For example, see how even though this other guy is talking your eye is drawn to me. James said as he explain about himself being in the program.

"Oh, Yeah, that's, uh, that's neat." Peter said in bored tone.

"Um, is there going to be any nudity?" Frank Jr asked James if his show has nudity in it.

"Yes, uh, I get naked." James said as Emily comes in and grabs Frank Jr.

"Let's go out to eat, my baby nephew" Emily said as they reach the door to leave.

"Awe, I was about to see James woods naked and kick his butt for it!" Frank Jr said as he is being drag out of the front door and it is close by Emily.

Now we join John and Tyler with Stewie and Brian at a the diner

"You know, it's bad enough that Peter and I were fighting, but ever since he met James Woods, it's like I don't even exist." Brian said as he complains that he miss his friend and he is jealous of James wood excluding him out of everything.

"Wow, you and Mr. Griffin must be close than we thought!" John said in shocked.

"Now that's a true man bond, Brian!" Tyler said in awe of such friendship.

"You really care about a man who used to try and pick up girls at the Miss U.S.A. Pageant?" Stewie said as he sets up a cutaway about peter being at the Miss U.S.A. Pageant.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter at a fashion model.

"Hey, how's it going? I'm Peter. You want to go out sometime? Maybe you got a Saturday night free... You know what? To hell with you, then. Yeah, go to hell" Peter cursed as model 1 posed and left.

"I'm Peter. What do you say you and me go get a couple of beers, maybe we could... Fine. You know what? You got mosquito-bite bitch anyway. I don't care. I don't care. I don't need you" Peter told model 2.

"Hey, how are you? I'm Peter. I got a coupon for Sizzler with your name on it. Maybe the two of us could... You know what? I don't care. You're a bitch" Peter snapped at model 3 as she left.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we are back to the diner

"Well, Brian, I know you're upset now, but if there's anything I've learned in this life, it's that you can't let the little things, Hey!" Stewie said as he tries to make Brian feel better until he spots somebody.

As Stewie sees two hookers enter the diner.

"Hey! Hey! Where's my money?!" Stewie shout at the hooker on where is his money.

As The hookers exit by running which piss off stewie.

"Don't you walk out on me?" Stewie said as he leaves the diner to chase the hookers.

"Well we got to go Brian since its Stewie, let's go Tyler!" John said as he and Tyler get off their seats.

"Right behind you, J-man!" Tyler said as they leaves the diner to chase the hookers and Stewie.

Now we join Peter and Frank at the Drunken Clam. That's when Brian came inside to get a drink and he sit right next to them.

"Hey." Brian said hi to the duo.

"Hey." Frank and Peter said hi back to Brian.

"So where's your good buddy, James Woods?" Brian asked Peter on where is James woods.

"Eh, Turns out he wasn't very good at catching stuff with his mouth." Peter answer him as he tells him that James wood.

"Where's your girlfriend?" Peter asked Brian on where Shauna,

"Same problem." Brian said as they made a joke.

"Whoa!" Brian said

"Ooh!" Peter said

"Hehehehehe/hahahahaha!" Peter and Brian laugh together by their joke. While their laughter dies down it caused Frank to realized that Brian and Peter patch their differences at the Drunken Clam.

Now the trio is returning home, they find James Woods is still there.

"James, what are you doing here?" Peter asked James wood why is he on the dinner room with diner.

"What's going on?" Brian asked peter on what going on?

"Yeah and why is there cold roast beef?" Frank asked on why is the food is cold.

"Hello, Peter. Would you like some cold roast beef?" James asked peter if he would like some cold roast beef.

"What do you mean?" Peter asked him while being scared out of his pants.

"I don't know, Peter, I had this crazy idea that you and I were supposed to have dinner tonight. But I guess you had other plans, huh?" James said as he is piss off by peter not hang out with him.

"Brian and I were just at The Clam." Peter said as he tells him that he was hanging out with Brain.

"Oh, that's fun. That sounds like you had a fun time. And where would I fit in with the fun time? Where does James Woods fit into the fun, you?" James said as as he becomes jealous and becomes very crabby towards Peter and Brian.

"Look, James, you're acting kind of weird." Frank said as he is freaky out

"I'll act however I want to act, you son of a bitch! I'm sorry, Peter, I didn't mean that to you son." James said as he freaks out Frank, Peter and Brian

"Boy, I haven't been this creeped out since I saw that episode of Star Trek." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about an episode of Star Trek.

 **Cutaway**

The scene shifts to a scene of Star Trek: The Next Generation.

"Number One?" Patrick Stewart asked Johnathan Frakes.

"Yes, Captain?" Jonathan Frakes response to his captain.

"Let me ask you something. If I whispered in your ear that Commander Worf's head... looks like a fanny, would you join me in a laugh?" Patrick Stewart said.

"Yeah, I could get in on that." Jonathan Frakes said his response.

"All right! Here it comes! Commander Worf's head looks like a fanny!" Patrick Stewart said as the crew of the Enterprise-D laughing at Picard's remark that "Worf's head looks like a fanny."

"You can both suck my ridges." Michael Dorn said in anger.

"Get a sense of humor, Rocky Dennis." Patrick Stewart said.

 **Cutaway Ends**

"Boy, I tell you, Brian, James Woods has been getting kind of obsessive ever since you and me started hanging out again." Peter

"How are you going to handle that?" Brian

"We got to come up with some crazy scheme like the kids on That '70s Show." Peter said as he tries to set up a cutaway.

And I think I got it. Emily said as she appears behind the seat of the car, as it sets up a cutaway with them being in That '70s Show.

 **Cutaway**

Emily, Frank, Peter and Brian jump just like a scene from That 70s Show.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the house as Emily, Frank Jr, Frank, Brain and Peter plan to get rid of James woods by trapping him in a box with a trail of candy.

"All right, that's the last of the Reese's Pieces." Brian said as he finish the trail of candy.

"Good. Now we wait." Emily said as they wait for James wood to fall for their trap.

"Peter? Where are ya? Ooh, a piece of candy. Ooh, a piece of candy. Ooh, a piece of candy. Ooh, a piece of candy. Ooh, a piece of candy. Ooh, a piece of candy. Ooh, a piece of candy. Ooh, a piece of candy. Ooh, a piece of candy. Ooh, a piece of candy. Ooh, a piece of candy. Ooh, a piece of candy. Ooh, a piece of candy."James Woods said as he spots candy on the floor and he follows a trail of candy.

The next piece of candy leads into a wooden crate; when James picks up the piece of candy. Both Frank Jr and Frank pull the string down, trapping James Woods, as Emily, Peter and Brian hold the trap down.

"Boy, I hope it's James Woods." Peter said as he hopes that inside the crate is James Woods

"Me too, Cause if its Grandpa again, I'm gonna get really pissed off!" Frank Jr said as he set on the crate.

Now we join Peter and Brian in the bed watch something.

"It's good to have you back in that spot, Brian." Peter said as he is happy to see Brain back on his spot on the bed.

"It's good to be back, Peter." Brian said as he feels good to be back on the bed.

Now we join ourselves at John and Tyler rooms in the basement with Emily, Frank Jr, John and Tyler having a sleepover.

"I'm glad that James woods is gone and I got even with him!" Emily said as she got even with him.

"By the way, what did you end up doing with James Woods?" John asked Emily and Frank Jr on what did they end up doing with James Woods.

"Don't worry, John. He's being examined by top men." Emily said

"Who? Tyler asked as well on what they ended up doing with James Woods.

"Top men." Frank Jr said as he tells them that Woods is then sent to be studied by "Top Men".

As the scene change to a box containing James Woods being shipped by top men a la Raiders of the Ark.

The end of the episode is a reference to both the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark and E.T.

 **Chapter Ended**

 **I hope everyone enjoyed! This is thanking for pen123 and Family Guy Fan writer 15, Thank you all for cutaways, scenes, favoring, having me on alerts and with that. So enjoy and see you next chapter.**


	13. Chapter 62: Perfect Castaway

**Chapter 62: Perfect Castaway**

 **Narrator** _  
_ _Fresh out the net box  
Stop, look, and watch  
Ready yet, get set  
It's Family Guy!_

We see paparazzi taking photos of the cast as they come out of the limo and they walk on the red carpet _._

 **Chorus:** _  
_ _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

First it show Frank waling out of the limo with a poster with the words "oh" and he poses for the camera.

Then its shows Meg comes in looking all sexy as she signs autographs while she winks at the fans.

Then it turn to Lois comes in hopping while grabbing rose as she gives a kiss toward the fans.

 **Chorus:**

 _Check it, check it, check it  
Now this is just an introduction  
Before I blow your mind  
The show is All of That and yes we do it all the time_

Then it shows Frank Jr poses as he pull his hat down his chest as he throws a rose to the Fans.

Then next person to show up on the carpet is Stewie. As he flips his hat back to his head while he give autographs to fans.

Then Brian comes in sliding on the red carpet as he waves at the fan as he walks in.

 **Chorus:**

 _So sit your booty on the floor or in a chair  
Ground or in the air  
Just don't go nowhere_

Then Emily comes in give autographs as she smiles at the fans as she tells one of her fans to call her.

Then the scene shows Persephone puts a rose on her mouth with a sexy angry look on her face.

 **Chorus:**

 _Cause everything we do  
It's all of that!  
When entertaining you  
We all of that!_

Then Chris shimming down the carp as he gives the fan a shout out.

Then Peter slide towards the carpet as he flips his hat back on his head.

 **Chorus:**

 _My posse and my crew  
It's all of that!  
So sit still cause we're coming right back_

Then the scene shows John throws a rose at his fans.

As the scene, changes to Tyler puts on rose his mouth as he gives everyone thumbs up.

 _ **Chorus:**_

 _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

Then scene change to the Family Guy MC Cast walks down the stairs as they take a group photo while looking gangsters of the 80. All this while music ends as the scene fades to black.

Now we join Peter and Frank as they are having difficulty with catching enough fish to feed their family's at sea.

"All right, boys. Let's see what we've got. Frank asked the Portuguese on what they caught today.

They caught only one small fish for today and it's not enough for people to buy.

"Well, at least we got something." Peter said until a seagull took the fish away.

"God! Damn! Stupid penguins." Peter shout at the bird that took their fish.

Now we join the crew back at new island port as peter parks the boat and comes toward the deck of the ship.

"Sorry, guys, but the way things have been going... I can't afford to keep you. I'm gonna have to put you down." Peter said as he couldn't afford them, so he decides to shoot them

"This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do." Peter said while he cried and loading his gun.

"My god, he is going to kill us!" Santos said in Portuguese

"Damn, and I finally got my hair the way I like it." Pasquel said in Portuguese.

Both Santos and Pasquel fortunately they realize this and swim away in time.

"I love you both. So, sorry. I'll always love you." Peter said as he was cries in pain while shoot at them.

Until Frank smack him unconscious and rags him back home.

Now we join Lois and Brian in the living room watching TV while Frank Jr and Emily are playing block together.

"We now return to Gilmore Girls." The announcer said as Lois and Brian are watch an episode of Gilmore girls, in which the mother and daughter talk very fast in a reference to the manner in which dialogue is spoken in the show.

"Mom, I need to talk to you about Dean." Rory Gilmore said

"Which Dean? Howard Dean, James Dean or Jimmy Dean." Lorelai Gilmore asked her about which dean?

"Too old, too dead, and too fattening." Rory Gilmore said about their wrong about the deans.

"You don't have to tell that to my thighs." Lorelai Gilmore said about her fat thighs

"Can you ask your thighs if they borrowed my Gap capris?" Rory Gilmore said her response.

They did not and are insulted that you've asked such a thing. Lorelai Gilmore said as she feels insulted.

"As insulted as Kitty Kelley... when people accuse her of taking liberties with her best-selling tell-alls." Rory Gilmore said.

"Almost. Wanna make out?" Lorelai Gilmore asking her daughter if she wants to make out.

"Absolutely not." Rory Gilmore sad her response with a no.

"Oh, you're so lying." Lorelai Gilmore said as she calls her out.

"I so am." Rory Gilmore said as she and her mother make out.

Now back to living room with Griffins and Mallques.

"GAY!" Frank Jr said as he takes the remote and changes the channel.

Then Peter and Frank came in threw the front door for an honest day of work.

Oh, honey, how was your day? Did you catch any fish? Lois asked her husband

"No, but Frank caught this turtle. Named him Terence." Peter said as in happy tone.

"Then Pops killed him, and hollowed him out into an ashtray for Stewie." Frank said in a sad tone as John and Tyler came in and they also got made at peter for killing the turtle.

"Peter, we have a family to feed. We all count on you to provide for us." Lois said

"Sigh, I know, and I feel terrible. I must look like a bigger loser than when I was on that game show." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about himself in a game show.

 **Cutaway**

"And now, back to America's favorite game show... Bobcat or Bjork" the TV announcer said as Peter is in a game show.

"Okay, Peter. Listen closely and tell us... if this is a song by Icelandic vocalist Bjork…or, the rantings of former comedian Bobcat Goldthwait. Here we go" the game show host said as a noise was made.

"Well, Bill, that's gotta be Bobcat" Peter answered.

"Sorry, that was Bjork" the game show host apologized.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join Frank and Meg as they are searching for the real Chris Griffin since he left his other home

"Where are we headed next?" Frank shrugged.

"I'm not sure. We need to find Chris, but I don't know where he would have gone..." Meg drifted off, looking down at the only family photo she kept, a wallet-sized snapshot of her with both of her brothers.

"Give me three hours and that photo. I'll find him for you." Frank said, self-assuredly

It took longer than three hours, most of which was spent picking out aesthetic pieces for the wedding on a tablet PC, and all of which was spent sitting in a government building, which was eerily reminiscent of the DMV.

"Well, my friends have narrowed it down to somewhere in Alabama." Frank said, self-assuredly to his wife.

"Friends? Don't you work here?" Meg asked, cocking an eyebrow at the app before clicking something. "Wait, where do you work?"

"I use to be a contractor for the NSA." Frank answered, "I work wherever the government puts a bounty on human life when the worlds in danger."

"Frank." One of the vaguely-ethnic women at the counter announced, "Your listed target is in Bumblescum, a rural county of Alabama."

"Patty, he's not a target. This is a personal project." Frank explained.

"Wait, so you're still going to kill him, but it's for fun?" Patty asked. "Branching out from the usual ladies?"

"I have other interests." He scowled, walking away from the counter.

"Where the hell is Bumblescum?" Frank asked.

"I think I know where we'll find Chris." Meg whispered with a smile as she walked out the door alongside Frank.

Meg and Frank are now headed to Alabama, to see Chris.

"I don't mean to sound like a cliche, but we've been 'attached' for over a month, and we still haven't had sex." Frank thought aloud as they drove down the interstate.

"That's not my fault." Meg reminded, as gently as their collective lack of sleep would allow. "I've been very clear that my girlhood is at your disposal."

"Do you have to call it that? You're twenty-two. Call it a vagina; or 'womanhood', if your heart is set on a euphemism. There's no reason to refer to your genitals as a child." Frank smirked at her.

"Is there?" Frank said as he point toward a town.

"There's the fact that I'm running off with a self-aware god like being since I lack a strong father figure." Meg smirked back. "There's also the fact that I have made it to this stage in my life with my virginity sadly intact."

"Fair enough." Frank agreed. "So, are there any motels in Bumblescum?"

"Without raccoon infestations? Not a one. But there's no rush. I can wait for a little longer." Meg answered with a chuckle.

It didn't take long for them to drive to the center of town. There, Chris Griffin was standing right beside an attractive, slender, blonde woman. Both of them were on a stage, in front of about thirty other people, with a reverend standing between them.

The clear pageantry being used by the entire county belied what was going on. Chris was about to marry his sweetheart, and they were either just before, or just after, the 'I do's.

As the ceremony continued, Frank got the car to skid to a stop, right behind the last row of seats. "I've never crashed a wedding before. This is fun!" He announced, popping the passenger door open. Meg ran up past all of those people sitting in their folding chairs, and did the craziest thing that came to mind. She hugged her brother.

"Chris, I'm so glad to see you!" Meg said loudly.

"Meg?" Chris said back, stunned. "I'm not surprised, but why are you here?"

Sam interrupted their little conversation, putting a hand on Meg's shoulder. "Meg, if you had dibs on him, I certainly didn't mean-"

"What? Oh, god, no." Meg corrected. "Sorry about the ceremony. Didn't mean to interrupt." She stepped off to the side. "But before you guys get back to it, my guy and I actually showed up to invite you to house when you are ready. He's over there." Meg mentioned, pointing to the car parked at the back of this town square. Frank was just getting out of that car, and just waved to everyone.

The ceremony was nice, as was the reception. Everyone from this sleepy little village was very happy to see Meg again after almost a decade, though they all seemed a little uncomfortable around Frank.

Then walked back to the stage. Sam asked Chris as they were both standing there, while the reverend droned on with the chunks of ceremony before the vows, "Are you really going to hurt me on the honeymoon? or to everyone else?"

"Of course I'm going to hurt you. That's the entire basis of our relationship." Chris smirked down at her. "Remember?" He said those parts softer, timing his next words to fit with the ceremonies "I do."

Sam couldn't stop herself from shaking again, this time with a smile. When reverend turned and asked her much the same question, she just said, "I do."

Sam and Chris both ran their car after the reverend's proclamation of their nuptials, and the bridal bouquet landed on Frank Jr's head. "I'm not sure what this means." Frank Jr announced, holding up the flowers. Everyone else headed to the reception that was arranged by the townsfolk, but those two took off, since Meg had done exactly what she'd set out to do. She had shown off to her friends, and rubbed several of her enemies' noses in this whole event.

When they were in the car, and as they drove off back to quaghog.

Now we join Peter and Frank at the Drunken clam with Joe, Quagmire, Cleveland, Negi, Zeke, Menma and Rage.

"I tell you, fellows, if we don't find some fish out there soon... our family's gonna go hungry." Peter said in a sad tone with frank with a sad face.

"If it's fish you wants, Pelican's Reef is where you'll find them." Seamus Levine said.

As He once again emerges from the shadows to warn Peter and Frank about the dangers of the sea.

"I've seen fish there. More fish than you could possibly imagine. Fish as far as the eye can see. Lots and lots of fish... I guess, would be the main bullet point of this presentation." Seamus Levine said as he explain about Pelican's Reef.

"Jeez, where is this Pelican's Reef?" Frank asked him

There. Seamus Levine said as he carries around, rolled up in one of his wooden arms, he show them a map to where Pelican's Reef is.

"But beware, no man has ever returned. Many have gone. All have been lost. Vanished, never to be seen again. No one has ever come back... I guess, would be the central theme of what I'm trying to get across here." Seamus Levine said as warn Peter and Frank about the dangers of the sea.

"Pelican's Reef, huh? Then, that's where I'll go." Peter said in excitement

"Me too 'Cause I'm not afraid of a challenge. Like that time Frank Jr and Pops outfarted Michael Moore." Frank said as he sets up a cutaway about peter and Frank Jr facing Michael Moore in a farting contest.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter, Frank Jr and Michael Moore entering the toilets.

"Hi there" Peter greeted.

"How you doing?" Michael Moore added as they sat down on the toilets. They each exchange normal farts, then they each performed musical style farts to each other.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join Peter and Frank outside the house saying goodbye to the family for their trip in search of fish at Pelican's Reef at the suggestion of salty Seamus to find the fish he needs to make more money.

"All right, everybody. We'll be back in a week." Peter said as he tells his family that he and Frank will return in a week.

As Frank turn to Brian, his best buddy and dog.

"Brian, look after the family." Frank asked Brian to look over the family.

"Aye, aye." Brian said as he follows his commands.

As Peter turns to his son, Chris and gives his advice.

"Chris, don't pick your bum." Peter said as he tells his son (but he is the clone and the real one is in the south) to not pick his butt.

"No promises." Chris said as he still going to do it.

Frank turns to the duo of John and Tyler to give them commands.

"John and Tyler, protect the family!" Frank said as he tells the duo to use their powers to protect the family from foes.

"Sir yes sir." John and Tyler said as they salute him and take their orders serious.

Then he turns to the news member of their family Emily griffin.

"Emily, watch over Meg and Frank Jr for me!" Frank asked his new sister to watch his wife and soon.

"You can count on me, big bro!" Emily said as she won't let Frank down and we see Frank hugs his wife/ kiss her.

Now we see Peter turn to his daughter Persephone.

"Persephone, if you get intimate with John, make him wear this." Peter said as he takes out a garbage bag for to use when she and john get busy in bed.

"Dad, that's a garbage bag. Don't you mean a condom?" Persephone said as she tells her father that she should use a condom.

"Persephone, hefty, hefty, hefty. Wimpy, wimpy, wimpy." Peter said as he raise the garbage bag as good while making the condom look bad.

Then Lois come close to her husband and son in law.

"Honey, be careful. This Pelican's Reef sounds dangerous." Lois said as she worries about them.

"That's why I built you a widow's walk, Lois." Peter said as he point at the roof as he build a widow's walk for Lois.

"So you can watch the sea until I return. Go on, try it out." Peter said as he explains that he build it for her to watch the sea until he returns and he asked her to try it.

"Peter, that doesn't look entirely-. " Lois said as she worries about if the widow's walk is safe for her.

"Go on!" Peter said as he losing his patience as Lois goes on it.

"Peter, I'm really not comfortable, stepping foot on this-. " Lois said as she tries to explain to peter that his widow's walk is unstable.

"Lois, I gotta leave in, like, five minutes." Peter said as he gets bored

"Is this scotch tape?" Lois said until the widow's walk and she falls on the ground.

"You drunk." Peter said until Frank hits him with the wood of the widow's walk.

No we join Frank and Peter with Glenn Quagmire, Joe Swanson, Zeke Swanson, Rage Swanson, Negi Springfield, Menma Brown and Cleveland Brown tagging along for the free beer.

"Boy, I really appreciate you guys helping me and pops out on this." Frank said as he thanks his friend for help him and peter get some fish.

"Frank, Peter, we're your friends. We're always there for you in your time of need." Cleveland said as he tells them that the gang has their back.

"Hey, hey, I've got an idea. Let's play "I Never." You gotta drink if you did the thing that the person says they never did." Peter said as he suggest that they play I Never to pass the time.

"Oh, I've got one. I never slept with a woman with the lights on." Cleveland said the first thing that he never did.

As Frank, Menma, Rage, Zeke, Negi, Joe, Peter, and Quagmire drink

"I'll go next. Uh... I never had sex with Cleveland's wife." Joe said that he never sleep with Cleveland's wife.

As Cleveland and Quagmire drink.

"Okay, let's see, uh... I never did a chick in a Logan Airport Bathroom." Peter said his thing he never did.

As Quagmire drinks. Fast forward to a heavily drunk Quagmire surrounded by empty bottles

"God, let's see. What else is there? Um... I never gave a reach-around to a spider monkey while reciting the Pledge of Allegiance." Frank said his thing he never did.

"Oh, God." Quagmire said as he drinks since he did it.

"I, uh... I never picked up an illegal alien at Home Depot to take home and choke me while I touched myself." Zeke

"Oh, come on!" Quagmire said as he drinks again since he did it.

"Uh, I never did the same thing, but with someone from JoAnn Fabrics." Negi said the same thing but with a different view.

"Oh g- this is ridiculous!" Quagmire said as he drinks, and passes out.

So peter checks quagmire plus and quagmire is fine.

"Wow, he's out cold." Peter said as he tells him that quagmire is out cold.

As Frank pulls out a marker with a grin.

"Hey, let's write on him!" Frank asked the group as they all giggle in excitement.

Now its morning as we see the gang sleep until a loud thumping

"What the hell is that?" Quagmire said as he wakes up with the word penus written on his chin.

As the gang walk out to the port of the ship to spot fish everywhere.

"Oh, my God. There's fish everywhere." Cleveland and Menma said as They find the fish

"Wow! This must be Pelican's Reef." Zeke said as they found Pelican's Reef.

"Aw, man, you guys, we're rich!" Peter said in excitement

"Hell yeah, we're rich bitch!" Frank said it like a black rap.

"Rich? I'll tell ya what's rich: the long monologues of a young Will Rogers, but I prefer some of the old slapstick, like this oversized powderpuff. Makeup!" Vern said as he slaps himself in the face with the powderpuff.

"Ha ha ha. Now that's rich! Play me off, Johnny!" Vern said as his partner Johnny the pianist who never spoken was playing their signature piano tune is "Galloping Gertie" by Sam Fonteyn.

Now we join ourselves at the Mallque/Griffin house as we see Lois and Brian watching the news.

"In local news, we have more on the approach of Hurricane RuPaul, which is working his or her way up the coast. Let's go live to Ollie Williams with the Blaccuweather report. Ollie?" Tom said as we go live to Ollie Williams with the Blaccuweather report.

"IT'S RAININ' SIDEWAYS!" Ollie Williams said as he in the rain in a rain jacket and hat.

"Sounds rough, Ollie. Did you bring your umbrella with you?" Tom Tucker asked Ollie if he brought an umbrella

"HAD ONE!" Ollie Williams said his response.

"Where is it now?" Tom Tucker asked him where his umbrella is.

"INSIDE OUT TWO MILES AWAY!" Ollie Williams said his answer.

"Anything we can do for you?" Tom Tucker asked him if he can do anything for him.

"BRING ME SOME SOUP!" Ollie Williams asked for soup

"What kind?" Tom Tucker asked for what king of soup should he bring?

"CHUNKY!" Ollie Williams said his answer

Now back to the news station.

"All right, we'll get on that. Coming up next, a pig who refuses to eat Jews. After this." Tom Tucker said as he finish his report.

Now back to the house with Lois getting more worried

A hurricane. Oh, my God! Frank and Peter's out there." Lois said as she panics for her son in law and husband.

"What, is my frank going to die!?" Meg shouted in worried after hear it from her room and rush down stairs to hear the news.

"Don't worry, Meg and Lois. Both Frank and Peter's good at getting out of trouble. Just like Kobe Bryant." Brian said as he sets up a cutaway about Kobe Bryant.

 **Cutaway**

We see NBA star Kobe Bryant interrogated with the police.

"We want the truth, Kobe. Did you rape her?" one policeman demanded as Kobe spinned a basketball around to stun the police.

"Ooh!" Both police office said in excitement of spinning of a basketball around.

"What were we talking about?" one of police office asked his partner on what they were doing here again as they forgot about Kobe Bryant rape a girl.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join the gang on the boat, after finally locating Pelican's Reef, they landing a staggering catch of fish.

That's a hell of a catch, Peter. Joe said

"Guys, this is great. Not only will I be able to put food on the table, and pay all my bills... I'll also be able to finance my Christmas album." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about him believing that he is finally rich enough to produce the Christmas special CD he always wanted.

 **Cutaway**

"Sessions presents, a Peter Griffin and Frank Mallque Jr Christmas. Featuring such standards as…" somebody announced as Peter and Frank Jr performs in a blue suit.

 **Peter**

 _ **[Random jibberish to the tune of "Sleigh Ride"]**_

 _Reh-dyeh-seh-frah-huh-vraweweh-seh-meh-blah-naruh-reeaaahhh..._

 _Eh-weh-heh-heey everybody look at the snow in the yard..._

"And who could forget…" announcer

 **Frank Jr**

 _ **[Tune of "Little Drummer Boy"]**_

 _I brought these gifts for you they're up in grandpa's bum_

"And everyone's favorite…" announcer

 **Peter and Frank Jr**

 _ **[Tune of "Carol of the Bells"]**_

 _Blah-la-la-la Laaa-la-la-la_

 _Look at the bells Look at the bells_

 _Holy crap, here comes Jesus, and he doesn't look too happy_

Merry Christmas, everyone" Peter and Frank Jr said as they smiled at the audience.

 **Cutaway Ends**

No we are back on the boat as they toast themselves for a job well done.

"Here's to fish." Peter said as they toast to the fish.

"Uh, hey, could I have one of those?" Death said as he appears on the boat asking for a beer.

"Hey, Death, what are you doing here?" Frank asked death on why is he here on this boat.

"Me? Oh, I'm, Uh, I'm here because of that." Death said as he shows up to point out the giant wave about to capsize the S.S. More Powerful Than Superman, Batman, Spider-Man, and the Incredible Hulk Put Together.

"Aaaaaaaahahahahahaaaaaa!" the gang screamed from looking at the tsunami coming at them.

As a hurricane plus a tsunami destroys their boat with them in it.

Now we join Seamus explain our heroes' tale on a black couth.

"And their vessel was swept to the bottom of the briny deep. Swallowed whole by the treacherous, unforgiving sea. They sank, I guess, would be the one thing... to take away from this part of the seminar. When we come back, I'll show you... how eye contact can make or break any business relationship." Seamus said as we zoom out to see that Seamus has a talk show.

Now we only to find the gang adrift at sea after a hurricane destroys their boat. They would have been killed if not for the raft they were able to build out of Quagmire's sex dolls.

"It's lucky you packed so many blow-up dolls... Quag, Quagmire." Menma said as he thank quagmire for saving themselves.

"Be careful. The tiniest prick will pop these things. Giggidy." Quagmire said as he makes a joke.

"We've been out here for days. I'm starving." Joe said as he and everyone in the blow up dolls boat is starving.

As Quagmire realizes Peter's eating something.

"Hey, what's that?!" Quagmire asked peter

"Uh, what?" Peter said in response.

"You're eating something!" Cleveland said in shocked as the group gets mad at peter.

"You bastard! You have food?!" Joe said as he freaken piss off at peter for having food.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Peter said as he is denying the truth

"Give me that!" Joe said as he made to grab what peter was eating.

As Peter and Joe get in a minor pulling match, and Joe pulls and realizes both his feet have been eaten.

"AAAAAHHH! AAAAAHHH! Peter, you've been eating my legs?!" Joe said in shock.

"See, now this is why I didn't say anything. I knew you were gonna get like this." Peter said as he tries to explain himself.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Zeke shouted at him for eating his father legs.

"Look, Joe, I..." Peter said as he tries to apologies to him but Joe won't have it.

"YOU'VE BEEN EATING ME!" Joe shouted at Peter for eating his legs.

"Okay, you know what? Let's just agree to disagree." Peter said his response until quagmire spot something.

Meanwhile Frank and his brothers are secretly eating Peter's fat skin when he is not looking.

"Hey, guys. There's an island. Quagmire said as his point to an island.

"Oh, thank goodness." The gang said together as they spot the island.

"Oh, wow. I feel like an explorer. Just like my ancestor, Ponce de Leon Griffin." Peter said as he set up a cutaway about his ancestor.

 **Cutaway**

There it is boys, the Fountain of Youth. Just like I told you" Ponce de Leon Griffin said as he swam, but his body shrunk, leaving him fully nude, but his head stayed the same.

"Well, that was worth the eight-year boat ride" Ponce added.

 **Cutaway Ends**

After the gang being presumed lost at sea, a memorial service is held for the sailors at quahog beach with the Mallque/Griffiin family, the Swanson's family plus Cleveland Jr and Peter's parents, Frances and Thelma Griffin.

Now we join Mayor Adam West as he gives the gang their servers.

"We gather today to remember those brave Quahog men... who were lost at sea. The Bible declares an eye for an eye. So, let us now take our vengeance on this murderous ocean." Mayor Adam West said as he takes a knife to stab the sea for killing the gang.

"You won't be hurting anyone anymore." Mayor Adam West said with satisfaction.

Now we turn to the Mallque/Griffin family as they mourn their loss of family members.

"I just can't believe both peter and Frank are gone." Lois said as she fells broken for the loss of her husband and son in law.

"Don't worry, Lois. We'll get through this." Brian said as he reinsure her that they get through this.

Now we turn to the duo of John and Tyler as they mourn.

"Thanks for giving us a home Mr. Griffin!" Tyler said in tears.

"And thank you for being our surrogate father too Mr. Griffin." John said as he is thankful for peter decision of letting them into the family.

Now we turn to the twins as they mourn for Frank and Peter.

"Daddy, I'm gonna miss you." Persephone said in tears of losing her father.

"Frank, my other half, my one true love, I'm gonna miss you." Meg said as she puts a rose to the sea for her husband.

"Daddy! Oh daddy!" Chris and Frank Jr said as they were both sobbing for their fathers.

"I know, Frank Jr and Chris. I'm sad, too." Emily said as she hugs them to make them feel better.

"But you're making a scene. All our friends are here." Lois said as she think Chris is embarrassing himself in front of their friends.

Now we join Peter on the island hunting fish but he misses and suck at hunting fish.

"Screw you, fish." Peter said as he takes out his pocket watch.

"Sigh, I miss you so much. But I promise, one day I'll see you again, Captain Caveman." Peter said as he misses Captain Caveman, a Hanna-Barbera cartoon character from the late 1970s.

As He keeps a picture of Captain Caveman in a pocket watch, just as Tom Hanks's character kept a picture of Helen Hunt's character in Cast Away.

Frank to takes out a picture of his family, while he looking at meg who he miss so much.

Now we join the gang near a camp fire as they grow beards and some of them men notice that their sons have tails.

"It feels like we've been here forever." Zeke said with everyone agree with him. So peter has an idea to pass the time.

"Okay, here's one. What would you guys rather be? Blind or a midget?" Peter asked the question game.

"Oh, that's easy. Blind." Menma said with everyone agree with him.

"It heightens your other senses to near superhero levels." Cleveland said as he explain being blind mean you get super hero level of senses.

"Yeah, and every woman I did would be Cheryl Tiegs." Quagmire said with a sex comment.

"Definitely blind, gentlemen." Negi said also in agreement until peter chimes in.

"You guys are crazy. Hey, you don't wanna be a midget?" Peter said in response.

"One of those funny little guys running around... getting in all kinds of shenanigans." Frank said in agreement as he explain that being a midget is fun. Then its peter who take a crake at the conversation.

"Smoking a cigar, while you're riding around in a stroller." Peter said as he explains the rest of what good about being a midget.

"Good point." Joe said in agreement with Zeke nodding.

"Never thought of it that way." Quagmire said as he never thought of it.

"They are God's little punch lines." Rage said as he and Cleveland think that the midgets are god's little punch lines.

Then it was Frank to start the game again since everyone is still think about midgets.

"Okay, all right. Here's another one. Black or crippled? Frank said as he asked the group if they would be black or crippled.

Now its morning in the island and everyone is bored and pent up with something.

"All right, fellas. We've been out here for months. And we all know that men have certain needs. And being there's no women around, we're gonna have to have an orgy." Peter said as he suggest attempting to pass the time with group homosexual intercourse.

"I'm out." Frank said as he gets up and leave the group also the rest of the young adults started to leave as well.

"Me too." Negi said as he join Frank which shocked Cleveland.

"Me three." Zeke said as it shocked Joe of his son leave him to the orgy

"Screw you guys for this gay shit man!" Menma said while rage flips them off.

Now we join the gang as they are attempting to pass the time with group homosexual intercourse but it is only Peter, Joe, Cleveland and Quagmire. While Frank and The rest of the gang just tried to signal a ship to come by.

"Anybody horny?" Peter asked the group if they are Horney.

"No." Cleveland said his response

"No." quagmire said his response

"No." Joe said his response.

"Yeah, me neither. And whoever's toe that is, I appreciate your enthusiasm... but I think, you can stop." Peter said as he thinks this was a bad idea

"Boy, I'm sure glad nobody's here to see this." Frank said as he makes a flag out of pig fat and seagull feathers.

Until a passing cruise ship pass by see their father in their attempting to pass the time with group homosexual intercourse.

"And if you look off the left side of the ship... you'll see a bunch of homosexuals." The announcer said as the people on the cruise were laughing at peter and his friends.

"Y si te fijas de la parte izquierda de la nave... Usted verá un montón de Fanny bandits" The announcer said it in Spanish.

Several months later, the gang are rescued from the island by a passing cruise ship and they return to quahog shores.

The gang and their father were happy to be home as they got out of the cruise boat.

"That was a great cruise." Rage said as he like the cruise plus the V.I.P experience.

"Yeah, the buffet was great." Negi said as he enjoy the buffet from around the world.

"And I enjoyed shooting Skeet with my dad." Menma said with Cleveland nodding as they notes how much fun it was shooting skeet on the cruise ship that rescues them.

As Skeet Ulrich is shown being removed on a stretcher.

"Don't worry, Mr. Ulrich, we'll get you to the hospital." The medics said as they stop in front of the group.

"You bastards!" Skeet Ulrich said to both Menma and Cleveland.

"There's nothing good about what you do or who you are." Cleveland said as he doesn't like him at all.

"Also good luck with the stiches bitch!" Menma said as they take skeet away.

Now we join Frank and Peter as they finally returns home and meets their families.

That's when Frank kick the door open and shocked the family as they see them.

"Guys, we're back!" Frank said as his wife run toward him and hug him with their son.

"Daddy!" Frank said as he cries tears of joy to have his father back

"Frank!" Meg said as she cries on his shoulder to have her husband back.

"Lois, I'm home." Peter said as he enter the room and the rest of the family rush in to hug peter.

"Peter." Lois said in shocked

"Mr. Griffin!" John and Tyler said in shocked

"Daddy." Persephone and Emily said as they cried tears of joy.

"Dad." Chris said in happy tone.

"What's your name again? I wanna say Allen." Stewie said as he forget his own father.

"Oh, it's so good to see you guys." Peter said with Frank nodding in agreement.

"Peter, we'd given up hope. I can't tell you how happy I am that you're alive." Lois said as she feels happy to have them back.

"Oh, come here, sweetheart." Peter said as he goes for a kiss.

When Peter is about to kiss Lois, she stop him.

"Wait, Peter. There's something you should know. I'm not quite sure how to tell you this, but I got remarried." Lois said she admits that she has married someone

"What?" Peter said in shocked

"It was a very difficult time and he was there for us." Lois said as she to tell peter that the man has provided for the family.

"What the hell... Who was there for you?" Peter asked her until someone has open the door.

"Honey, I'm home." Peter, you're alive. Brian said as he return home as he was Lois new husband and he is shocked that peter is alive.

"Brian." Peter said in shocked

This is just like that sitcom where there's two dads. Chris said

Except nobody's laughing. No, wait, it's the same. Tyler said

You married Brian? Peter said in shocked

Peter, remember. We thought you were dead. I needed help and Brian was there. He even took a job selling cars to keep the family afloat. Lois said as she admits that she has married Brian.

Well, just get a divorce and everything will be back to normal. Peter asked

It's not that easy. What am I supposed to tell Brian? Thanks for saving our family, now scram. And besides, he's been great with the kids. I mean, Chris is doing better in school. Lois said

"And Emily even went on a date with the announcer from the Super Friends." John said as he sets up a cutaway about Emily having a date with the announcer from the Super Friends.

 **Cutaway**

We see Emily sitting next to the announcer of The Super Friends.

"Meanwhile, under Emily Griffin's bra" the announcer said.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the Mallque/Griffin house in the living room.

As Frank Panics that if his wife remarried as well.

"So Meg, have you married anyone, before find out that I was not dead!" Frank asked his wife.

She nodded no and she told him what's up!

"Hell no, it like you said to me when we made love at our honey moon, once you go Frank you never go back!" Meg responded her answer and frank hug her with love for her loyalty.

Frank then drag her back to the room for epic loving making, leave Peter all sad because of his former wife didn't wait for him like Meg did for frank.

"Fine. I can see, I'm not wanted here. Maybe I'll just find my own place." Peter said

"Oh, Peter. I just feel terrible about this." Lois said as she tries to apologies but peter won't have it.

"I don't need your sympathy. I don't need anything. You know what? Maybe I'll just go take up my old job... as a construction worker in New York. Although I never did get the cat calling right." Peter said as he set up a cutaway about himself working as a construction worker in New York.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter as a construction worker, along with some other workers in New York. A blonde beautiful woman in a black dress walks by.

They all Wolf whistle at her

"Yeah, baby" co-worker 1 said.

"I want a piece of that" co-worker 2 said.

"You suck!" Peter shouted.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we are back at the bedroom where it shows Brian has marries Lois to support the family, working as a salesman at a Hummer dealership. However, he and Lois sleep in separate beds.

"Hey, listen, Lois. You know, I know, your head must be turned upside down... by this whole Peter thing. So, you know, if there's anything you wanna talk about..." Brian said As He wants to talk to her about the situation she is in.

"Oh, don't worry, Brian. I'll admit this is an emotional time for me but you and I are married... and that's the way it's gonna stay." Lois said as she is fine with it.

"So, umm, is there any chance tonight might be the night we push the beds together?" Brian asked if they merge bed tonight

"Goodnight Brian." Lois said as she went to sleep without responding to Brian's response.

"Awww, come on!"Brian said as much to his frustration.

"Gah, I wish you'd cut that out! You sound like a dog with a bone." Lois said as she complain at Brian for being a dog.

"Tell me about it."Frank Jr said as he is sleeping with them in the middle of the bed.

"Ugh, yeah. If you need me I'll be in the basement." Brian said as he leave the room and goes to the basement.

"Doing what?" Lois asked him what is he gonna do in the basement.

"What do you think?"Brian said what his response is.

Now we join the gang all together in the drunken clam as Joe got new legs.

"Hey Joe, where'd you get the new legs?" Cleveland asked him on how he got new legs.

"Transplant. They belonged to a death row inmate who got the chair. Unfortunately for me, he was also a paraplegic." Joe said as he tells Cleveland that he got the new set of legs from a death row inmate who got the electric chair.

Unfortunately for Joe, he was also a paraplegic.

"Guys, I don't know what I'm gonna do. Lois is the only woman for me." Peter said as he is going to give up since he can't move on to other women and he only loves Lois.

"Well, then, it sounds like you've gotta find a way to win her back." Zeke said as he suggests peter to find a way to win back Lois.

"Yeah, like we could get her drunk and take turns having sex with her. Quagmire said something perverted.

"How would that help Dad, quagmire?" Frank question's Quagmire on his idea.

"Oh, help Peter? Yeah, yeah. Then, no. No, then, that wouldn't help Peter at all." Quagmire said as he take his idea of the table.

"Well, Zeke is absolutely right. I just gotta figure out a way for Pop's to win Mom back." Frank said as he agrees with the gang as he make a plan to help Brian move on from Lois so peter can get her back.

"We can do that, we're very smart men. Frank once built that time machine out of a DeLorean." Peter said as he set up a cutaway about him and Frank making a time machine out of a DeLorean.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter and Frank riding a DeLorean from back to the future.

"All right, past. Here I come" Peter said as he drives to the wall of a building, the De Lorean vanished into a flash of light. Two pairs of fire trails were below us.

The license plate was the only left behind. Doc smiled and started to jump up and down.

"Wait, why are you celebrating?" Frank Jr asked Doc as he freaked out on what happened.

Meg picked up the license plate and dropped it because it was hot and blurted out what we were all thinking, "Jesus Christ Doc! You desegregated Einstein!"

"I didn't desegregate Einstein!" Doc shook his head and explained.

"Then, where the hell are they?" Frank Jr blurted out.

Doc shook his head again and explained.

"The proper question is when the hell they are? You see, Einstein has become the first time traveler! I sent him into the future! One minute into the future to be exact. And in 1:16 in 0 seconds, we will catch up with him and the time machine." Doc said.

Meg, Tyler, and Frank Jr exchanged surprised looks.

"Wait a minute Doc. Are you telling us that you built a time machine...out of a De Lorean?" Tyler asked,

Doc nodded and responded, "I figured if you're going to make a time machine, why not do it with some style?"

Meg blurted out, "Style? You call a De Lorean style, Doc? We need to get your eyes checked."

"I agree, doc! Why did you use the De Lorean to make your time machine?" Frank Jr added.

Before Doc could try and answer his friend's young son, he pushed them out of the way. The De Lorean reappeared. Doc went over to it, tried to open the door but jumped back.

"What is it, hot?" Tyler asked with concerned tone.

Doc shook his head and answered, "No, cold. Ice cold."

He opened the door and both Peter and Frank was there, unharmed.

Meg, Tyler, and Frank Jr exchanged surprise looks as Doc noted that Frank's watch was a minute behind. Frank ran out of the De Lorean.

Frank Jr wrote this all down.

"He's alright." Meg mumbled,

Doc smirked and said, "He's fine! For him, the trip was incautious. Here, here. Let me show you how it works."

Meg, Tyler, and Frank Jr went over to the De Lorean.

Frank Jr wrote this all down as Doc explained, "First, you flip the time circuits on." He pointed to the control board and pointed to each one, "This one tells you where you are, this one tell you where you are going, and this one tells you where you've been. You could go to see the signing of the Declaration of Independence or witness the birth of Christ! Here a historical date in the science world: November 5, 1955."

But then the De Lorean was driven into the building and it was catches fire.

Everyone ran out, screaming, as they are covered by fired.

"Wow. Everybody in 1955 was on fire. I never knew that" Peter was surprised.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join Lois coming home with groceries.

As we see Peter was in the house, where Lois finds him naked and lying on the couch.

"Oh, hello, Lois." Peter said all naked it on the couch.

"Peter. What are you doing here and where are your clothes?" Lois said

"Oh, did I forget my clothes? You know, I'd leave my ass behind... if it wasn't so perfectly attached to my sternum. Perhaps I should cover myself." Peter

"Look, Peter, I know what you're trying to do... but it's not gonna work. I'm married to Brian." Lois said as she opens the door for him to leave.

"Oh, that's right. How inappropriate of me. Well, I guess, I should be going. Peter said as he walks toward the door until he gets an idea.

"Lois, do you have a magnet in your head?" Peter said as he move his big butt towards her

What? Lois said in question as she moves away.

"You must, because it's attracting my buns of steel." Peter said as he shove his butt at her

"Peter, knock it off." Lois said as she doesn't want this.

"You knock it off. You're the one with the magnet." Peter said as he shove his butt near Lois.

"I'm serious, knock it off." Lois said until she and peter trip on the tipped over chair.

"Peter, no. Peter, for God's sake. Oh, who am I kidding? I can't fight this anymore. I missed you so much." Lois said as she is eventually convinced into having sex with Peter on the tipped over chair.

As Frank, Stewie, John and Tyler came down stairs.

"Lois, I smell whipped cream, are you making strawberry shortca..." Stewie said until he finds them and is shocked.

As he sees Peter and Lois together naked both Frank, John and Tyler just puke on the floor. Then they just ran down stairs leave Stewie with the horror he saw.

"ARGH! ARGH! AHHH! ARGH! ARGH!" Stewie scream from the horror and the whole neighborhood heard it.

The scream reach to Mayor Adam west office and he was write a bill until he heard Stewie scream.

As Stewie continues to scream, it piss off the mayor.

"Oh, so it's a shouting match you want, eh? Well game on, Quahog! Mayor West said as he challenges him at screaming

ARRGH! ARRGH! ARGH! ARGH ARGH! ARGGH I'M BEATING YOU!" Mayor West said as he continues screaming.

As we join Frank walking towards the Quahog Hummer Dealership where Brian has become employed, to support his new wife Lois and the family, following Peter's presumed death at sea.

As we see Brian boss, Paddy Tanniger coming by toward his office.

"Ex-husband back in the picture, you're working during the day. They got time to bump uglies. That's right, I said, bump uglies. Big whoop. Want to fight about it?" Paddy Tanniger said something about peter being back mean that Lois will cheat on her and then challenged Brian to fight about it.

"Shut up, Paddy, you're crazy. Lois would never cheat on me. I trust her completely." Brian said as he end their discursion.

As he feels nervous about what his boss said so he tries to call her.

Meanwhile at the house we see Lois in her underwear and bra riding a naked Peter on a saddle while inside the bedroom.

Now we are back at Brian office as he feel nervous on not getting a call back, that's when Herbert the old man pervert came bay to his desk.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for a car that's been tricked out to look like an ice cream truck. Herbert said to Brian but he wasn't listing.

That when Brian hang up the phone to talk to Herbert.

"Dammit! I'm, I'm sorry what? Brian asked him on his question.

"You know, with the colorful pictures of ice cream treats, and it plays a tune that's fun for the young children." Herbert asks Brian for an ice-cream truck with which to entice children.

As Herbert Sings to "The Entertainer"

 **Herbert**

 _Da da da da da da da da... da da da da da da da da mmm..._

Now we see Frank walk toward Brian office and Brian spot him

"Hey Frank, what are you doing here?" Brian question his friend on why is he here.

"Hey Brian. You decided to move on with your life. Sorry if I dint say goodbye but you know...to move on and i need to tell you some stuff". Frank said as Brian getting ready to hear what Frank has to say.

As Brian was ready to hear what he has to say.

"First of all This has nothing to do about my feelings towards her…well maybe they do but it's all hate now. Actually, Falling in love with Lois was a mistake, not just because you were married to your so called best women, but because she played with your feelings as some kind of entertainment or just second option to get out of trouble." Frank said as he rants about how bad Lois is for Brian.

This was making Brain gape.

"I know you two married each other? That's just because she was too lazy to actually get a job and work hard for her money to help the family. So she married you so he would get a job." Frank said as he continue his rant about Lois.

And Brian, his lips began to quiver from the rant.

"You respected her feelings by sleeping in separated beds for so long. But in the end she will just throw you away to get back to Pop's." Frank said as Brian suddenly looked ashamed.

"I know what Lois were just laughing thinking, _I'm just going to betray Brian who helped me, I divorce him and be friends again like nothing happened and tease him about his life and how he will never have me!_ " Frank said imitating Lois voice.

"Well guess what Lois griffin; I hope you're glad because you won't need to care about me anymore and about me being a burden. Hope your life is indeed what you wanted. Red hair bitch" Brian screams what he feel about.

As He was panting heavy like he just run a long course but no stopping now.

"...Frank...why am I the family joke for this family's dysfunction?" Brian asked.

Frank was surprised by Brian's question. He wasn't sure how to answer it a first, he was still dizzy from tell the truth he did but was thinking of what he could tell his dog.

Brian looked down with a sad expression, "...For as long as I can remember, I've always been the punching bag. From being talking dog, going to jail for not having my license and to the rest of Quahog putting me down because I'm not like them. I've always tried to fit in, but no matter what I do, I always get the short end of the stick! Am I really that much of a burden and a disgrace to everyone here?"

Frank looked up, "What no Brian, don't say that! You're anything but a burden and disgrace. I mean look around you, this family and community is dysfunctional, while you're calm and level-headed and even though you have your moments you're a lot better than everyone else ever will be, especially this family. I know things are bad but you're so much stronger than that...you know what...maybe that's why you find the right person later on."

Brian blinked, "What? Frank what are you talking about?"

"It's because your family and everyone else in Quahog are so insecure that they want to take that anger out on someone. And when they see someone so in control of their life they get jealous because they are miserable while you're content and that's why they take it out on you." Frank replied

Brian started smiling, "Really Frank, you really think I can find someone in this crazy than Lois?"

Frank smiled back, "Yes...and you know what Brian, out of everyone in this family...I believe you are the one who will be the most successful."

Brian started to feel better about himself. He started to get over her guilt and felt good about herself, he hugged Frank, "Thanks Frank…"

"And you know what, now that I think about it I actually feel sorry for them." Frank said

"You do?" Brian asked.

"Well yeah, mom and Pops are out of control in later life and because of mom sleeping with other guys in her teenage years before meeting pops and before you asking on how I know this, it because of my dad journal. Also Pops will criticizing her because of her age they're ruining their marriage. And Chris has more issues than Persephone do, and Stewie...I don't know what's going to happen to him when he gets older if this family continues this way."

Meanwhile at the house in the babies' room, Stewie sat on top of the stairs listening to the conversation, stroking his gun.

"Oh believe Frank, Lois and the fat man won't live long enough to see my thirteenth birthday. I'm not letting them ruin my teenage years like Kim Kardashian ruined pro wrestling." Stewie replied since he bug Brian work and heard everything.

Brian smiled, "we'll be fine...what about you?"

Frank was silent for a moment, but then turned to Brian and smiled, "I'll make it work since I somehow know What to do with this life and how this world works, and I know we'll have a great future...I just need to do something first."

The next one was no one but Lois.

 **(We skip the sex scenes and you will see them later in another fanfiction series of Family Guy MC.)**

The next night, Lois comes Down stairs with a saddle which confused Frank Jr. and Frank Sr.

"Okay, I'm going out." Lois said as she about leave the house with a saddle

"Where are you going?" Brian asked her.

"To my garden club." Lois said as she about to leave but Brian stops her.

"It's 10:30 at night and you have a saddle." Brian said now gets suspicious of her.

"Well, it's a...What this is? What's this, Brian, huh? What's this, huh?" Lois said as he take out a ball.

"It's a ball." Brian said as he gets excited.

"Oh, is this your ball? You want it, huh? You want this, huh?" Lois said as she butter him up.

"Yes, I would like it, please, yes." Brian said as he gets more excited.

"You want this, huh? You want the ball?" Lois said as she butter him up even more.

"Yes, I would like to have it very much." Brian said as he gets even more excited.

"You want the ball?" Lois said as she butter him up to the max.

"I would enjoy having it, yes. Give it to me." Brian said as he gets excited.

"Go, get it." Lois said as she pretend to throw the ball and Brian chase it.

Until Brian comes back all piss off.

"I'm sorry, Lois, I was mistaken. I thought you threw the ball in there... but I can see now you still have it." Brian said as he wants the ball.

"Go, get the ball." Lois said as she throw the ball and Brian chase it and Lois ran toward the door and leaves.

That's when Stewie had enough and talks to Brian on what going on.

That when Frank takes his son and the boys upstairs.

"I say, are you blind, or just stupid?" Stewie said about Brian being stupid on what going on with Lois and Peter.

"What do you mean? Brian asked him.

"Perhaps you'd like to see... what Lois and the fat man have been up to in your absence." Stewie said as he takes out a video tape.

Then Stewie shows him the video of Lois having sex with Peter on the tipped over chair but it was tape over his real world tape.

"Hello, MTV, I think I would be perfect for The Real World. Because I speak my mind and not everyone likes that. But I'm not afraid to go there. And I can be sexy. Look at my fanny, look at my fanny, look at my fanny." Stewie

Wow, I can't believe they didn't take you. Brian

Shut up! all right, here it is. Stewie said

As we hear peter and Lois laughing and Brian was shocked on what he is seeing.

"Oh Peter. Oh Peter." Lois said as peter was inside her pussy off-screen.

As Peter was grunting while he was plowing Lois.

"Hang on!" Lois said in pleasure state of being fucked in her pussy.

"Hang on. Shazzam!" Peter said as he reaches sexual climax.

"Oh, Good for you." Lois said as she was pleased from the sex.

"My God. How could they do this to me?" Brian said as he is crushed.

He goes to the hotel that Peter is staying at and sees a silhouette of Peter and Lois having sex.

That's when Brian gets to their room all angry, until he hears Lois feeling guilty.

"Peter, I can't keep sneaking around with you like this. See, it's not fair to Brian." Lois said as she stop what she is doing.

"What about me, Lois. I love you, too. And the other thing is, Lois, hi, he's a dog." Peter said as he complains of not having his life back.

"Please. Please don't make this any harder than it has to be. You know, I will always love you, but I made a commitment to Brian. I can never repay him for what he's done for this family. I'm sorry, Peter." Lois tells Peter that she made a commitment to Brian and must stay with him.

Meanwhile in the hallway Brain just realized that Frank was right about his relationship with Lois and he need to end this.

Now we are at the living room with Frank and Brian on the couth as they watch Emily playing with Frank Jr and Stewie with the game Simon.

"All right, Simon, do your worst." Frank Jr said as he and Stewie play Simon.

As the game start with the patter of Red, green, blue, green, blue, blue.

"I find it's easy if we make it into a little song." Stewie said as he and Frank Jr did the pater of Red, green, blue, green, blue, blue!

"Red, green, blue, green, blue, blue!" Frank Jr song the pattern while doing it.

"Then you put in words!" Emily replied as Stewie did what she asked.

"I like tea and cakes for tea and cake time." Stewie said as he sang a song while doing the pattern.

That when Lois gets home, Brian and Frank are ready for her.

"Brian, you're still up." Lois asked as she wonders on why Brian is up tonight.

"Lois, listen. We need to talk." Brian said as it was time for him to move on.

As Frank give the signal to Emily for her to take the boys to their room. It's about to get ugly down here.

Oh, my, I better leave you two alone. Emily said as she takes both Frank Jr and Stewie upstairs until Stewie comes back to the stairs with snacks.

"What's the matter, Brian?" Lois asked him as he takes a Deep breathe with Frank support.

"I've been thinking about us. And I just don't think it's working out." Brian said as he wants to divorces her

"Oh, my God. No way." Stewie said from the stairs

"You wanna break up. Why?" Lois said in shocked and asked why.

"I just don't think you're the right woman for me." Brian said his response.

"Oh, bitch. You got jacked, bitch." Frank said it in his mind while Frank Jr shouted from the Stairs as he join Stewie on the fun.

"Maybe you should see if Peter will still take you back. I'm sorry, Lois." Brian said as his apologies to her but they are finishes and he tells her to go back to Peter.

"I understand, Brian. There's no possible way I can ever thank you enough for this. You're a good friend." Lois said as she agree with Brian's decision.

"You're a good friend too, Lois." Brian said his response which made Frank proud of him.

"That's kind of nice." Frank Jr said from the stairs.

The next day, everything is back to normal and everyone in the family is glad to have Peter back.

"Well, I'm just glad things are back to normal." Peter said as he is glad to be back at home.

"Yeah. And to think I was like one day away from having sex with you!" Lois said a truth that shocked both Brian and Frank

"What?" Brian said in question

"Yeah, I was gonna push those beds together and take you round the freakin' world! But a pat on the head's just as good, right? You want your ball? You want your ball?" Lois said as she admits that she was a day away from having sex with Brian.

"No, I do not want the ball. If you need me I'll be in the basement." Brian said as he is shocked at this revelation and tells the family he'll be in the basement.

"Doing what?" Peter said as he asked what Brian going to do?

"What do you think?!" Brian said his response

As everybody laughs except stewie since he question the joke.

OK, someone's gonna have to explain that to me. Stewie asked them

Meanwhile in Meg and Frank room since Persephone move in with Emily. We see the couple relaxing after having awesome sex until Meg gets a call from Chris at bumblescum.

"Don't get me wrong, Chris. I like that we're talking more often, and I'm happy that you've got a girl who likes you. But you don't need to call and let me know every time you and Sam have sex." Meg said into the phone.

"You need to be more firm than that, or he's just going to keep calling." Frank explained, sitting beside her on the bed, sharpening his knives.

"Chris, don't call unless either you're in trouble, or Sam is pregnant." Meg instructed before hanging up.

"See? Now he won't call." Frank assured her.

Right before the phone started ringing.

"If that's your brother, I'll kill him." Frank assured her.

Frank answers and he shocked to hear on what he has heard.

"The cops bust Chris and he is coming back. Since he found a loop, he need a high school diploma so he to take care of his daughter and new kid in Sam belly or he will lose it all." Frank said which shocked his family and realized that Chris is coming home.

As the scene end with both Frank Jr and Meg look shocked from the news.

 **Chapter Ended**

 **I hope everyone enjoyed! This is thanking for pen123 and Family Guy Fan writer 15, Thank you all for cutaways, scenes, favoring, having me on alerts and with that. So enjoy and see you next chapter.**


	14. Chapter 63: Jungle Love

**Chapter 63: Jungle Love**

 **Narrator** _  
_ _Fresh out the net box  
Stop, look, and watch  
Ready yet, get set  
It's Family Guy!_

We see paparazzi taking photos of the cast as they come out of the limo and they walk on the red carpet.

 **Chorus:** _  
_ _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

First it show Frank waling out of the limo with a poster with the words "oh" and he poses for the camera.

Then its shows Meg comes in looking all sexy as she signs autographs while she winks at the fans.

Then it turn to Lois comes in hopping while grabbing rose as she gives a kiss toward the fans.

 **Chorus:**

 _Check it, check it, check it  
Now this is just an introduction  
Before I blow your mind  
The show is All of That and yes we do it all the time_

Then it shows Frank Jr poses as he pull his hat down his chest as he throws a rose to the Fans.

Then next person to show up on the carpet is Stewie. As he flips his hat back to his head while he give autographs to fans.

Then Brian comes in sliding on the red carpet as he waves at the fan as he walks in _._

 **Chorus:**

 _So sit your booty on the floor or in a chair  
Ground or in the air  
Just don't go nowhere_

Then Emily comes in give autographs as she smiles at the fans as she tells one of her fans to call her.

Then the scene shows Persephone puts a rose on her mouth with a sexy angry look on her face.

 _ **Chorus:**_

 _Cause everything we do  
It's all of that!  
When entertaining you  
We all of that!_

Then Chris shimming down the carp as he gives the fan a shout out.

Then Peter slide towards the carpet as he flips his hat back on his head.

 **Chorus:**

 _My posse and my crew  
It's all of that!  
So sit still cause we're coming right back_

Then the scene shows John throws a rose at his fans.

As the scene, changes to Tyler puts on rose his mouth as he gives everyone thumbs up.

 **Chorus:**

 _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

Then scene change to the Family Guy MC Cast walks down the stairs as they take a group photo while looking gangsters of the 80. All this while music ends as the scene fades to black.

Last time on Family Guy MC Season 4. Frank said as voice a preview of last chapter.

" _ **Frank, Peter and the guys stranded on a desert island during a fishing trip.**_ __ _ **Several months later, the four men are rescued from the island by a passing cruise ship. They were spotted just as they are attempting to pass the time with group homosexual intercourse.**_

 _ **As Peter finally returns home and meets his family. When Peter is about to kiss Lois, she admits that she has married Brian. After Lois tells him why she is with Brian, Peter leaves and gets a room in a hotel in Downtown Quahog. Brian wants to talk to her about the situation she is in. In an attempt to win Lois back, Peter goes to the house, where Lois finds him naked and lying on the couch. Lois is eventually convinced into having sex with Peter on the tipped over chair, where Stewie finds them and is shocked, but takes a video of it. The next night, Lois runs out of the house with a saddle and Brian now gets suspicious that she is cheating on him. Stewie shows him the video and Brian is crushed. He goes to the hotel that Peter is staying at and sees a silhouette of Peter and Lois having sex. When Brian gets to their room, Lois tells Peter that she made a commitment to Brian and must stay with him. When Lois gets home, Brian divorces her and she goes back to Peter. The next day, everything is back to normal and everyone in the family is glad to have Peter back."**_ Frank said __as he narrates the last chapter then turns to the audience.

That when the phone started ringing. Frank answers and he shocked to hear on what he has heard.

"The cops bust Chris and he is coming back. Since he found a loop, he need a high school diploma so he to take care of his daughter and new kid in Sam belly or he will lose it all." Frank said which shocked his family and realized that Chris is coming home.

Now we join my Brother on his side of the story right now,

As we join ourselves at bumblescum, we see Chris and Sam in the living room of the home to relax until the cops came busting in threw the door.

"Chris abbot, you unfit to be your child legal guardian because you don't have a diploma so we will asked to put your child into legal services." The cops said as they drag her away leaving Chris and Sam all alone in at their home but Chris stop them.

"No, no. My daughter legal guardian is my new father in law." Chris said as he then used the memories erasing device on the cops and gave them new memories, he also call Frank to hack the police station data base to erase any evident about himself and his wives.

As Chris then drags his wife Sam into their room to talk

"They don't care. They're gonna make you look like a monster." Sam said as she cries for her husband.

"I see. Well, Sam, I'm adult. I'm used to the tabloids' doodie. It's you and the kids that I'm worried about. You're just a sweet young lady with her whole life ahead of her. This event could ruin our family future, and I can't let that happen. I'll take the fall, no matter what. Good-bye, Sam. I'll always value your relationship." Chris said as he went to pack his stuff so he can return to quahog.

As Chris leave the house, Sam cries.

"I love you, Chris." Sam said as she takes her new daughter and move back to her dads

The episode starts at the Mallque/Griffin House as we join Frank Mallque, Peter Griffin, Glenn Quagmire, Joe Swanson, Rage Mallque/ Swanson, Zeke Swanson, Negi Springfield, Menma Uzumaki Brown and Cleveland Brown watch episode of Deadwood.

"On the next episode of Deadwood." Announcer said.

As we watch a parody that incorporates the inability to get an erection into the plotline, even after looking through Playboy.

"Anything yet?" The cowboy asked his friend if he get an erection

"No, you?" The second cowboy replied and then he asked him if he get an erection.

"Nope." The cowboy replied as they are still looking through Playboy.

Next Deadwood. Announcer said as he tell them a preview of next episode.

As then scene show Chris plus Emily, John and Tyler all dress up in new clothes.

"Chris, what're you all dressed up for?" Zeke asked his friend brother about his new look.

"These are my back-to-school clothes. I start high school tomorrow." Chris said as he is excited to become a freshman at the local high school.

"Oh, boy. You better watch out for the Freshman Hunt." Cleveland warns Chris to watch out for the Freshman Hunt.

"Yeah. That's where seniors hunt down freshmen and nall them with paddles." Joes tells Chris about the "Freshman Hunt," a hazing ritual in which the freshmen are beaten with paddles by everyone.

"Man, remember how much that was, beating those freshmen silly?" Peter said as he remembers beat up freshmen.

As the group laugh except John, Tyler, Chris and Emily

"Oh, yeah." Joe said in agreement.

"Man, remember how much that was, when we beating those senior silly to get pay back?" Frank said as his group nodded.

Then Frank's Group all laugh about it except Peter and his friends.

"Oh, yeah." Zeke said in agreement

"You're not serious, are you?" Chris said as he gets nervous.

"Chris, I'm just as serious as I was when me and Pops saw Paul Reiser do standup." Frank said as he sets up a cutaway about peter see Paul Reiser do standup.

 **Cutaway**

"What's the deal with airline food? I mean, is this stuff bad or what?"

Paul Reiser asked.

"Well, that's not nice. Those chefs work really hard" Peter argued.

"And what's with those Starbucks, huh? They're everywhere" Paul added.

"Lot of people want coffee. It's supply and demand. It's the foundation of our entire economy, Paul" Peter rebutted.

"And who do I talk to about those long lines at the ATM? That's what I want to know" Paul wondered.

"Not me, Mr. Reiser. Someone who has time to fritter away, but not me" Peter frowned.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we are back in the living room as Lois come in through the front door with stewie.

"Peter, what're you doing? You've been out of work forever. You promised me you were going out to look for a job today." Lois ask him on when he is getting a job.

"Oh, okay. I'll go look for a job, Lois. What is this? The latest Redbook. Peter said as he threw the latest Redbook on the floor to distract Lois and he ran out the door.

"Is she gone?" Peter shouted from behind the trash can.

"No, stupid!" Frank Jr shouted back.

As we zoom in on Stewie and Frank Jr.

"Them and their squabbling. Although I suppose they're not the first couple to have problems." Stewie said as he set up a cutaway about a couple having problems

 **Cutaway**

"Did you have a nice day?" Cynthia asked.

"It was okay" Gary answered.

"You know, our son got into your closet today" Cynthia said.

"Okay" Gary shrugged.

"Anything... Anything in there, maybe you wouldn't have wanted him to see?" Cynthia said.

"No" Gary answered.

"Really? You don't have any dirty pictures in there?" Cynthia said.

"No" Gary answered.

"Then how do you explain these?" Cynthia said.

"So what? So, I have some paintings" Gary answered.

"Is this how you want me to look?" Cynthia said.

"Come on, Karen. Do you hate your body so much... you have to reduce every painting of the female form to pornography?" Gary answered his responce.

"Don't you do that? Don't make this my fault!" Cynthia said in anger.

"It is your fault!" Gary answered by shouting back at her.

"I just want to come home and have dinner. And have my wife say, "Hello, how was your day?" That's impossible for you!" Gary answered.

"You know what this is about?" Cynthia said as she make a comeback.

"What?" Gary answered.

"This is about your disrespect for me, this family and everything we stand for" Cynthia said.

"What do we stand for? Who are we, the Goracks now? Suddenly you're Cynthia Gorack. That's what you want, isn't it? You want to be Cynthia Gorack" Gary answered.

"You know what, at least Cynthia Gorack's husband cares about her family. I can't even talk to you when you're like this" Cynthia said.

"Okay. It's over now because you say it is. Way to go, Karen. You solve all our problems by just walking away! And it's so obvious I don't care about the family. I just killed a 700-pound tiger with a stick and a rock!" Gary answered.

"That doesn't make you a man, Gary" Cynthia said as she leave the room to get her things.

"Here we go. Here's act two of the performance. Karen pretends to leave home for the 20th time. You know what, Karen. Go! I'm not going to stop you. Just go! Get out! Get the hell out!" Gary answered.

"Screw you, Gary!" Cynthia said.

"Yeah, if you did that more often, maybe I wouldn't need these paintings!" Gary shouted then he screamed at his neighbor. "What the hell you looking at?"

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join Lois with the kids as she drives them to the high school. As Chris looks nervous about the Freshman Hunt.

As Frank Jr make a conversation with everyone in the car.

"I say, anybody listen to Howard Stern this morning?" Frank Jr asked the people in the car about Howard stern

"Yeah I did. He had some strippers in the studio. They sounded hot. Then he made a joke about a Negro. But Robin laughed, so it was okay." Stewie said as he continues talk until Emily shush him.

As they arrived both John and Tyler got out of the car leaving Chris and Emily still inside.

"Uh, I think I'm coming down with something..." Chris said as he tries to make excuse to not leave the car.

"Oh Chris, relax, the freshman hunt doesn't really exist, it's just a myth to scare freshman." Lois said as she tells to calm down her son for his first day and the freshman hunt doesn't really exist.

Really, Oh boy, that's a relief... Chris said as in relief of his burden.

You know she could be lying... Emily said Muttering as she doesn't trust her words.

Lie? Me? Hahahaha! Now how could I ever do that to my kids? Hahahaha! Anyway, both of you have a good day. Lois said as she laughing hard from Emily joke but she looks at her step daughter face expression, it look like she not joking.

As Chris and Emily both got out of the car when Lois honked the car horn.

"FRESHMAN!" Lois said as she drives away leave the kid in shocked.

"Damit Mom! I knew she was lying!" Emily shouted murder for what Lois did to them.

"Uh… Emily, you might want to focus more on the other students..." Chris said as he point out the seniors that are out to get them.

As Emily grabs Chris' arm and they ran away from the High Schoolers.

"Great… this is just last year back in Providence all over again!" Emily said as she and Chris run to the hallways.

"Well at least you're not a freshman with an evil monkey in a closet like me." Chris said as they look around the hallway to watch out for seniors.

They came into the cafeteria.

"I hope we've lost them." Emily said as they feel they're in the clear for now.

As Chris picks up a tray and then accidently bumps into a High School Jock.

"Freshman..." JOCK 1 said as he carries a paddles and Chris freaks out.

"Run!" Emily shouted at Chris to run for their lives.

She and Chris both tried to run out of the Cafeteria but more Jocks grabbed Chris' arms and Emily lost her grip.

"Chris! Let my brother go!" Emily said as she tries to get to her brother but can't.

"Sorry sophomore, we've got a freshman to prey on." JOCK 2 said as he blocke her way.

Some Jocks blocked Emily while the others slapped Chris' butt with their paddles and then one of the teachers joined in, then the lunch lady and finally Mayor West.

"Oh I got you you freshman, I am going to teach you a lesson that it is not okay to be a freshman!" Mayor West said as he slaps Chris' butt with a paddle in slow motion while the song "No more Mister Nice Guy" by Alice Cooper plays.

Mayor Adam West's sequence is directly referencing Fred O'Bannion, a Ben Affleck's character from the same film.

 **Alice Cooper**

 _No more mister nice guy_

Mayor Adam slaps Chris' butt with a paddle in slow motion while Benny O'Donnell, Don Dawson and Melvin Spivey appear with him cheer Adam on.

 _ **Alice Cooper**_

 _No more mister clean_

Mayor Adam slaps Chris' butt with a paddle in slow motion and then spins his paddle in the air and catch it.

 _ **Alice Cooper**_ _  
No more mister nice guy essay_

Mayor Adam slaps Chris' butt with a paddle in slow motion one last time as they all laugh and giggle while teasing Chris of his pain.

 _ **Alice Cooper**_ _  
They say he's sick, he's obscene_

The scene end with Mayor Adam west walk slow motion to his crew for a job well done.

Until Emily attacks the jocks with her karate skills and finally did a 'Spinning Cresent Kick' at Mayor West's face.

"Come on Chris, let's get out of here!" Emily said as she grabs Chris's arm.

As They both ran out of the cafeteria.

"Wow... Emily, where did you learn kung-fu?" Chris asked her as they went to an empty classroom to be safe.

"That was karate, it's different… I use to take karate lessons back in Providence …right before my old family died..." Emily said

"So… how far were you at?" Chris asked her on which belt she is on now on karate?

"Purple belt!" Emily said her response.

Now we join Frank and Peter at the unemployment office as they trying to get jobs.

"All right, Mr. Mallque and Mr. Griffin. Jobs you two think you would be suited for. Let's see what you wrote. "Cowboy, astronaut... Warlock, more powerful astronaut, cashier, beer expert." their social worker said as he reviews what they wanted

"Yeah. And I need something that pays more than my last job as... Sandy Duncan's glass eye." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about himself being Sandy Duncan's glass eye.

 **Cutaway**

"Hey Sandy. Sandy?" Peter asked as he's Sandy Duncan's eye.

"What?" Sandy asked.

"What're you buying?" Peter wondered.

"Some breakfast cereal" Sandy answered.

"No, don't get that. That's a bad cereal. Get some of the Boo Berry" Peter recommended.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the unemployment office.

"Turns out there's a job opening at the Pawtucket Brewery." Their social worker said as there is an opening for the Pawtucket Brewery.

Which made both peter and Frank look surprised.

"Wow, that sounds even better than when Pops and My son got paid to take part in that study." Frank said as he sets up cutaway about Peter and Frank Jr were paid to take part in a study.

 **Cutaway**

"The only one who couldn't finish the puzzle is the fat one" scientist 1 observed as Peter is between two bears and Frank Jr who are solving a puzzle.

"I'm sorry. I can't see what you're going for here. Let me look at... Oh, it's a jar of preserves. Oh. Yeah, I guess that's what all the red pieces were" Peter apologized.

"Eyep, also when do we get paid dudes?" Frank Jr asked the men about their money.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we are back at the Mallque/Griffin House as both Chris and Emily return from school. As we see Lois and Meg watch their boys watch TV.

Until the front door open and Emily rush in by swing chin music kick Lois off the couch.

"Yeah, I totally deserved that..." Lois said as she rubbed her cheek.

"Thanks to you Chris was the senior bitch and his butt was swollen, why did you do that?" Emily asked.

"I was acting young and I didn't know what I was thinking. I did deserve being slapped for it by Frank Jr when we return home, but karma already got to me from my step daughter." Lois answered

"Hey, Chris, was school any better today?" Lois asked her son if his day was better.

"No, I hate it. I never want to go back!" Chris said as he doesn't want to experience that again.

"Oh, come on, it'll get better. You just have to find your place. Lois said as she gave Chris some advice to find his place in the school.

"Let's go, Frank Jr and Stewie. Time to change your diapers." Meg said as she and Lis pick up their son's and start to leave towards to their shared room to change their son's diapers.

"I'm not worried about high school at all. Worst-case scenario... I'll carve out a niche as the effeminate male friend of the popular girls." Stewie said as he set up a cutaway about himself being the effeminate male friend of the popular girls when he reaches high school.

 **Cutaway**

"Okay, tonight's my OC party. I got a case of wine coolers, so we can drink every time Ryan seethes" Stewie said.

"Cool, I'd love to come" girl 1 said.

"Me too. How'd you get the wine coolers?" girl 2 wondered.

"Oh, it's... I just did some stuff for a guy in the parking lot. Does anyone have any Scope?" Stewie asked.

 **Cutaway Ends**

I don't care what she says. I'm never going back! Chris said as he asks Brian for advice.

Look, you can't run away from your problems, Chris. That's what I tried to do. I joined the Peace Corps and a day later, I was two continents away. Brian said as he tells of joining the Peace Corps.

"Really?" Chris said in awe which made Emily look worried for her little brother.

"Uh oh!" Emily said as she see Chris going upstairs and comes back to living room with Frank Jr.

As they both start packing stuff while Brian talking.

"Yup. But 6,000 miles and all the dope I could smoke... still couldn't separate me from my problems. And this was good dope. I mean, it was growing everywhere." Brian said as Frank Jr and Chris finish packing, they left threw the front door.

As Emily tries to talk to them out of this trip but Chris didn't listen.

"Oh, my God. This one time, we got so baked... we ended up eating all the food the World Health Organization... had airlifted in. Man, those villagers were so pissed. They tried to chase us, but let me just say, thank God for polio. Anyway, my point is that..." Brian said as he notice that Chris and Emily just left.

That's when Sandy Duncan came in to the living room.

"Hey, is Peter there? I'd like to rehire him, my glass eye isn't working out." Sandy Duncan said as she turn around to see that quagmire is Sandy Duncan's eye.

"Hey, Wheat Thins. Take your top off!" Glenn Quagmire said as he asked for some boobs.

As we see peter was sing a song at breakfast time expressing his love for pancakes.

 **Peter:**

 _I like pancakes, I like pancakes, they make me a happy Peter._

 _I am happy, I am happy La La La La La._

"Peter, you seem happy today." Brian asked peter about his good mood.

"You bet. Me and Frank are starting our new job at the brewery. Finally, I'm one of those guys who can't wait to get to work in the morning. Like a dairy cow." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about a dairy cow.

 **Cutaway**

We see a cow being milked, but screams in excitement and in a pleasure tone.

"Oh, yes! Yes!" the cow said as he being milked.

"Oh!" the cow said in a pleasure moan.

 **Cutaway Ends**

As we see Lois and Meg run in to the kitchen with a worried look.

"Peter, I just found this note in Chris' room. He, Emily and Frank Jr ran away to join the Peace Corps." Lois said to peter that her son and grandson ran away from home.

"Oh, my God! Give me that!" Peter asked Lois to give him something.

As Lois was about to give the letter but peter stop her.

"No, that." Peter said as he asked for his paddle ball and Lois gave it to him.

"He, he, he, he!" Peter laughs as he play with his paddle ball while piss off his family.

4 hour later

"He, he, he, he!" Peter laughs as he play with his paddle ball until John and Tyler cut the string from the paddle ball which caused peter to throw it away in a fit.

"I'm bored with it now!" Peter shouted like a child until Frank smacks his head.

"Peter, Chris and Frank Jr ran off to South America." Lois said as she worries for her son and grandson.

"And Emily went to talk them out of it, I hope she watches our son Frank?" Meg said in equal tone to her husband and Frank just hug her.

"Well, where the hell would he get an idea like that? Peter asked his wife about where he get an idea of ran off to South America.

This made Brian hide behind his newspaper while Lois had in spark of an idea.

"Wait a second. Don't we know someone who was in the Peace Corps?" Lois tries to recall which of the family's acquaintances was in the Peace Corps.

"Yeah, who was that? Was that Beau Bridges? Do we know Beau Bridges?" Peter said as he suggests actor Beau Bridges who was never in the Peace Corps.

This made Brian more nervous on what happening now.

"No, we don't. I am positive we know somebody who was in the Peace Corps." Lois said as she tries to recall which of the family's acquaintances was in the Peace Corps.

That when Brian snap and confess the truth.

"Look, it's me, all right. He got the idea from me." Brian said the truth as he told Chris about it.

"Brian, what the hell is wrong with you?" Lois said in as worried tone.

"I didn't do it on purpose. And before you fly off the handle, you may want to think about it. The kid's obviously confused. This might be good for him." Brian said as he tells him that he needs this for him to grow well.

"People do crazy things when they're confused. Like the time my agent dropped that bomb on me." Stewie said as he set up a cutaway about himself and his dropped that bomb on him.

 **Cutaway**

"No one in this town will hire you" a boss told Stewie.

"Oh, yeah?" Stewie said as later, he becomes Tootsie, who walks around town.

"Taxi. Taxi. Taxi!" he shouted at the taxi driver, who gives him a ride.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join Chris who has decides to join the Corps and goes to South America on an airplane.

All right, Chris. We're approaching your group assigned village. Tell the people to work together and drink clean water. And by the way, the word "colored" still flies down there. So, get your fill. The airplane navigator said as he pushes both Chris, Emily and Frank Jr off the plane.

"Aaaaaaaaaaha!" the group shouted as they fell below until they land their assigned village.

As Chris and his crew meet Chief Oleki, he is the head of a South American jungle tribe.

"Hello, I am Chief Oleki. Welcome to my village. Our air is clean. Our food is bountiful and our water is caffeine-free. Never had it. Hahahaha! Never will." Chief Oleki said as he make a joke while introducing the group to his village.

"Damn no coffee!" Emily said in her mind.

"This is my daughter, Loka." Chief Oleki said as he introduce Chris to his daughter who 11-year-old daughter but very smoking hot in her triple piece clothing.

"My son, Hidalgo." Chief Oleki said as he introduce his son who has pretty eye lashes.

"And my cousin, Vinny." Chief Oleki said as he introduce them to his cousin who is a fictional character in the 1992 American comedy film _My Cousin Vinny_.

"Hey, how you doing? Give me a word, any word at all... and I'll pronounce it funny for a nickel." Vinny said as Frank Jr give him a nickel.

"You're my best friend now!" Frank Jr said as he takes vinny to explore the village.

Now we are back at the Mallque/Griffin House as Lois is on the couch and she looks sad of losing her kids to Africa until the phone rang.

"Hello?" Lois answer the phone

"Hi, Mom/Grandma." Chris, Emily and Frank Jr said hello to Lois on the phone.

"Chris, Emily and my grandbaby Frank Jr, are you all right?" Lois asked them if they are okay.

"Chris, buddy, and Emily my daughter, thank God you're both okay!" Peter said as he answer the phone in the kitchen.

"Hi, Dad." Chris and Emily said hi to Peter.

"I'm here too Grandpa!" Frank Jr said as he takes the phone.

"Junior my boy you're okay!" Frank answer the phone in his and Meg room.

"Hey, this has been driving me crazy. Who was the chick on Remington Steele?" Tyler answer the phone in the basement and asked them a question.

"Hello?" John and Stewie answer the phone in Chris room.

"Stephanie Zimballst?" Chris answer Tyler question.

"No, John watts and Stewie Griffin." John said on the phone.

"Who's this?" Stewie asked on who is on the phone.

"Thank you." Tyler said as he glad with his answer.

"Chris, what are you doing down there?" Lois asked him on why he is an Africa.

"Relax, Mom. I'm having a great time." Chris said as he calms down his mother and tells her that he is having a great time.

"You people knocked me off the modem." Stewie shouted on the phone.

"Shut up Stewie, I want to hear what Chris has to say". John said as he tells Stewie to be quite.

"When are you coming home guys?" Lois asked her kids on when they are coming home.

"How's the food in South America?" Peter asked them about the food.

"Do the women there have exposed clitterati?" Stewie asked Chris if the women show their vaginas.

"The food is great and yes Stewie, the ladies are showing their clitterati." Frank Jr answer his grandpa question and stewie's question

"We'll be home in a month, after people have forgotten I'm a freshman." Chris said as he answer his mother question.

"Sorry mom." Emily apologies on the phone.

"Also I found cousin vinny guys!" Frank Jr said in his phone.

"Well... Please, just take care of yourselves, honey." Lois said as she tells them to take care of each other.

"Hey guys. Is everyone on the phone?" Meg said as she takes the phone from frank.

"I got to go." Chris said as he give the phone to Emily and runs off.

"Chris has to change my diaper please!" Emily said as she has a poo attack and give the phone to Frank Jr.

As she runs after Chris threw the village.

"Something's in the oven." Lois said as she hangs up the phone.

"I lost a shoe." Peter said as he hangs up the phone too.

"I got to take a wiz, bye!" Tyler said as he hangs up his phone.

"Got to tell Persephone about you guys, bye!" john said as he give the phone to Stewie and he ran off.

"Guys?" Frank Jr said on the phone

Don't leave me on phone with her! Stewie shout at the family for leaving him on the phone with Meg.

"Frank Jr?" Meg said as she heard her son on the phone.

"Hey Mommy... How's school?" Frank Jr aske his mom on how her day was.

"Hi, Frank Jr... I miss you so much, please be save and take care of you uncle and aunt okay!" Meg said in a missing you child tone.

"Listen, Mom, I am swamped today... but Grandma has kept me up to date on everything you're doing... and I think it's just great." Frank Jr said as he love his mom very much.

This made Stewie very nervous and awkward.

"I'm hanging up now." Stewie said as he hang up the phone to leave the mother and son to talk.

Now we join Frank and Peter going to work at the Pawtucket Brewery, as they remember Pawtucket Pat who held a Silver Scroll contest for four lucky people who would win a tour of his factory.

However, he ends up giving Joe Swanson a quick exit as he does not have a handicapped entrance and capture Peter and Brian after they sample his secret recipe beer that never goes flat and float to the ceiling until they fart their back down to the ground.

Then Peter, Frank and the other rainbow ticket winners being preserved in tubes connected to a machine behind with vats of soda above being processed.

Their nutrients will be absorbed by a special device that pat made here that will convert them into batches of his upcoming soda production.

But John, Frank Jr and Tyler standing on top of one of the vats, which contained the same soda that they were given from Pawtucket Pat when they won the contest.

The trio then jumped into the vat of soda.

Soon, the vat shook almost violently and the now powered-up Frank Jr, John and Tyler bursting out of the glass window on the vat, resulting in the gallons of soda to come flooding out and Lois, Pawtucket Pat and even Peter, Frank and the rainbow scroll winners (still in the tubes) getting caught in the tide.

Frank Jr, John and Tyler bouncing off the walls in the room like before. However, this time, they were now demolishing the factory, knocking out Chumba Wumbas in the way and knocking down support beams holding the place, leading to it completely crumbling down to the ground.

But the build was rebuild and is making beer and sodas again.

Now we join Peter and Frank touring the new Pawtucket Brewery.

"Boy, this place sure has changed since Pawtucket Pat relatives sold it." Peter said as he mentions that Pat's relatives sold the Pawtucket Brewery.

"Yeah, and it's not making people into drink like we were the last time huh?" Frank said as he remember the bad times.

"So, this is where you'll be working, Mr. Griffin and Mr. Mallque. Oh, and I should mention, employees are welcome to free Pawtucket Ale and sodas. We just ask that you don't drink during your shift." Their supervisor said as he warns them not to over drink.

"That won't be a problem, sir." Frank said as he will follow the rules like a good worker.

Great. I'll be right back with your ID badge. Their supervisor said as he leave them to work.

When the supervisor return only to see peter naked and fully drunk off his ass.

"Mr. Griffin, what happened to your pants?" Their supervisor asked him.

"Oh, look, who's here. Mr. "I don't have time for your Little League games." Come here, you son of a bitch!" Peter said Frank until he hugs his supervisor

"Why do you close your eyes when we make love?!" Peter said something stupid.

Now we are back at the house at night as Lois wait for peter and frank in the living room with Meg.

"I wonder how your father's first day at work went." Lois aske Meg about peter's first day at working.

Until they see peter park the car near the window of the living room. So Meg open the window to talk to her father who is drunk off his mind.

"Dad, what the hell are you doing?" Meg asked her father on what is he doing parking the car close to the window.

"Yeah, hey, buddy. I'll have a triple cheeseburger and a large fries and... Do you sell pants?" Peter asked Meg like a cashier at a burger restaurant.

Sorry meg, pops can't control his drinking since he heard he can drink at work!" Frank explain to his wife why his father is like this.

Now we join the twins hang out with Beth and Patty in the living room.

"Hey, Meg, Persephone, what's with all the beer cans?" Beth asked Meg about the beer cans in the living room.

"My dad got a job at the brewery and he gets lots of free beer. Actually, he's kind of been going overboard lately." Persephone explains why there is beer bottles on the floor.

"Oh, my God!" Meg said in shocked as she spot her father without pants and underwear.

"Hey, Meg, you seen my pants?" Peter asked Meg about his pants.

As he sat on Beth and she freaks out.

"Lois, by the way, we're out of toilet paper." Peter said to Patty as he confuse her for his wife.

As he falls asleep on Beth for the rest of the day.

Now we are back at Africa at the village where Chris is. We see Chris is walking with Loka.

"Chris, thank you for helping bring water to my village. You're a hero." Loka said as she thanks Chris for bring water to the village.

"No. Lou Gehrig was a hero." Chris said as he sets up a cutaway about Lou Gehrig.

 **Cutaway**

"Excellent. As soon as I release this biological toxin... into the world's water supply, I will rule the world. I'll call it "Lou Gehrig's Disease. " I just have to remember to make sure this cap is screwed on tight" Lou dropped the disease on the ground and moments later, he's on a wheelchair.

"Well, I guess the joke's on me" Lou explained at the audience as joke music played.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Back to the village with Loka and Chris.

"This is a gift from all of us." Loka said as she give Chris a loin cloth.

Chris look at Frank Jr for his option and Frank Jr give him the thumbs up.

"Go ahead, try it on." Loka asked him to try it on.

"Okay." Chris said as goes behind the tree to change into his loin cloth.

As Chris came out with new loin cloth look the villagers look at him a shocked.

"Oh my, Chris, we can see your genitals." The villager said to him about see his ball.

"Aaaaaaahha!" Chris shouted as he cover himself until they laugh at their joke.

"Just kidding. Everyone's genitals are hanging out." The villager said as he explains that everyone has their genitals are hanging out

"Really? Ha, ha, ha! Wow! This is just like Bible camp! Only I'm not crying and trying to pretend I'm somewhere else." Chris said about his time at Bible camp! Only he's not crying and trying to pretend he is somewhere else.

Now we join Peter as we see him can't control his drinking, so he is demoted.

"Mr. Griffin, since you can't control your drinking... you've been demoted to the shipping department." Their supervisor said

"Oh, come on!" Peter said as he complains as they end up in the shipping department.

"This is your new supervisor, Angela." Their supervisor said as he introduce peter to his new boos in the shipping department.

"Mr. Griffin, we have different rules here. For starters, no drinking. Period. We start work at 7:00 a. m. sharp." Angela said as she explain to peter about his have different rules here and treats Peter very coldly.

"This is your co-worker, Opie. He is a burden of the state, deemed unfit for mainstream society. He is your superior." Angela said as she introduce his co-worker, Opie.

As Opie unintelligible babbling

What'd he say? Peter asked Angela about Opie.

"He said he wants you to put your finger in his mouth. If you value your job, I'd do it." Angela said as she tells Peter put his finger in Opie's mouth.

Peter to stick his finger in mouth, only to bite it.

"Ow! He bit me!" Peter said as he complains about his finger being bitten.

"Mr. Griffin, although I may not fully understand Opie's management style... he has proven himself a more competent employee than you. So, in my absence, you will listen to him." Angela said as she tells peter that Opie is in charge, She liked Opie far better than Peter and treats Peter very coldly.

As Opie unintelligible babbling for peter to stick his finger in mouth again.

"Come on, guy. Peter asked him to give him a break.

Only for Opie insistent babbling

As Peter to stick his finger in mouth, only to bite it.

"Ow! Ow! Oh! Oh! Damn it! This is worse than being Kevin Federline's magic mirror!" Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about himself being Kevin Federline's magic mirror.

 **Cutaway**

"Magic mirror, how can I look like a douchbag today?" Kevin Federline asked.

"Well, Kevin, I would say, first of all, don't shave or shower" Peter suggested.

"Okay, I won't" Kevin Federline said.

"And you just got out of bed, right?" Peter suggested.

"Yeah" Kevin Federline said.

"I would say, just go ahead and wear that tank top all day" Peter suggested.

"Okay" Kevin Federline said his answer.

"All right, so we covered the hygiene, no collared shirts. Oh, and don't forget to walk around with an undeserved sense of accomplishment" Peter finalized Kevin's plans.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we are back to the Africa village as they are having a festival. Now we join Chris and Loka sitting in a log.

"Chris, the festival of the harvest is the time of celebration for my people. Would you like to dance?" Loka explain the festival of the harvest is the time of celebration for her people and she asked Chris if he would like to dance.

"Sure! No one's ever asked me to dance before." Chris said as he and the local South American tribe started to sing **"Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go"**

 **South Americans** :

 _I wanna Jitterbug_

As Chris and a group of male villagers snap their fingers, they alsoJitterbug.

 **South Americans**

 _Jitterbug_

As a group of female villagers snap their fingers join Chris group, they also Jitterbug. Then a male village was playing the bongs as they all dance to the beat.

 **Chris**

 _You put the boom-boom into my heart_

As Chris dance with Frank Jr and they dance with the females.

 **South Americans**

 _Doo-doo_

Then Frank Jr dance with the female clapping in the background as he Jitterbugs.

 **Frank Jr**

 _You send my soul sky high when your lovin' starts_

 **Chief Oleki and South Americans** :

 _Jitterbug_

As Frank and Chris dance near the chief as he said Jitterbug, then the scene turn to Chris.

 **Chris**

 _Into my brain_

 _ **South Americans**_ _:_

 _Yeah-Yeah_

 **Chris** **and Frank Jr**

 _Goes a bang-bang-bang 'til my feet do the same_

As both Frank Jr and Chris shake their head to the beat, Emily then join them into the dance.

 **Chris**

 _Wake me up before you go-go_

 **Frank Jr**

 _Don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo_

 **Emily**

 _Wake me up before you go-go_

 **South Americans**

 _Doo-doo_

Then Chris, Emily and Frank Jr dance with the female clapping in the background as they Jitterbugs around the females.

 **Chris** :

 _And take me dancing tonight_

The female clapping in the background start to sing as the chief plus his cousin join in the clapping.

 **South Americans**

 _Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo!_

This is a joyous occasion. You've engaged the entire tribe in dance. According to our customs, you're now married to my daughter. I couldn't be happier. Chief Oleki

"Well, if you're happy then I'm happy, because after all…" Chris said in agreement until he listen what the chief said.

"Wha…t?" Frank Jr and Chris shouted in shocked.

Now we are back at the Mallque/Griffin house at night in the kitchen as the family was eating dinner.

As peter complains about his job to Frank and Brian.

"My job sucks. I'm tired of always scrounging around on the bottom rung of society... getting kicked around by the Man. Like when I worked in that lab with Dr. Bunsen Honeydew." Peter said as he disillusioned with his new job and sets up a cutaway about him working with Dr. Bunsen Honeydew.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter as a Muppet, who repeatedly says "me me".

"Me-me, me-me, me-me, me-me, me-me, me-me." the morphed Beaker Peter said.

"Agreed Peter" Dr. Bunsen Honeydew said as he laughs and agrees with Peter.

 **Cutaway Ends**

As Lois come into the kitchen with letters, until she find one from Chris.

"Ohh! We got a letter from Chris!" Lois said as she opens it.

"Okay, he says he's doing great, the trio is having a wonderful time..." Lois said as she reads it.

"He met a girl! Aha!" Lois said as she feels happy for Chris for find someone (she doesn't know about Chris wife is in jail and his other wife still in bumble scum with his kid and new kid in her belly).

"He got married...? He says he's not coming back!" Lois said as the scene change to all the member of the family look shocked and then the scene zoom in to the evil monkey at the stairs crying for his boy.

Now we join our favorite family on a plane to South America to get Chris back

"We'll be landing in South America shortly. Please buckle your seat belts." Pilot said over the P.A.

As everyone was buckle their seat belts, the pilot was still talking.

"Hey, Brenda, what've you got for me? Coffee? Damn, your ass looks hot. Is this thing on? I don't care. I want them to hear." Pilot said over the P.A as he is talking dirty about Brenda.

As we turn to Lois and Peter and Lois starts to freak out.

"Oh, Chris, my baby. I told you, Peter. I never should have let him out of my stomach." Lois said as she worries for her son.

"I can't believe Chris got married." Meg said to her husband Frank as he agrees with since they know about Chris's wives.

"This is bigger news than when I toured Europe... with that musical rendition of My Left Foot." Stewie said as he sets up a cutaway about himself on tour with that musical rendition of My Left Foot.

 **Cutaway**

As Stewie tours Europe with a musical rendition of My Left Foot.

 **Stewie:**

 _My left foot_

 _Always been better than the right one_

 _My left foot_

 _Always gets me where I need to go_

As he tap dances with only his left foot

"I'll start out easy." Stewie said.

As he tap dances with only his left foot with musical beat.

"Little more complex." Stewie said.

As he tap dances with only his left foot a bit Fast until the music ends.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join the family walking out of the forest to find the African village.

"Oh, Chris, my baby!" Lois said as she spots her son, Grandson and daughter.

"Hi, Mom and Dad." Chris and Emily said as they run to Lois and give her a hug.

"Oh, our baby boy!" Meg said as she calls out her son to her.

"Mommy, daddy!" Frank Jr shouted as he ran into his parents arms.

"Everybody, this is my wife, Loka. We're married." Chris said as he introduce his family to Loka, his third wife.

"Hehehehe! Well, maybe here, but not in America, where God pays attention." Lois said as she awkwardly laugh and she explain that his marriage is okay here in Africa but not in America.

"Now, get your things together. We're leaving right now." Frank said to Emily and Chris to pack their things because they are leaving.

"Frank, Mom, I'm not going anywhere. I'm happy here. This is my home." Chris said his response.

As Peter goes to Chief Oleki to asked him something.

'You guys got an ATM? I only got $37 on me." Peter asked them about them have an ATM while taking out $37.

Many of the natives look at Peter at awe and gasping as they all bow to him.

"What's the matter with them?" Frank asked the chief on why the natives are bowing to peter.

"We've never seen that much money before. You are richest man in the country." Chief Oleki said to Frank that Peter is seen as the richest man in the country with just $37.

"Richest man in the country? Wow, no Griffin's been this powerful since my ancestor King Arthur Griffin." Frank Jr said as he sets up a cutaway about one of his ancestor.

 **Cutaway**

"Arthur, if you are able to draw the sword from the stone... and prove to me you truly are the sole king of Camelot... I will make love to you right here in the clearing" the princess suggested.

"What if I can just move it an inch, will you touch me?" King Arthur Griffin suggested.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the village as many of the natives of the country then become Peter's slave for just nickels and dimes.

As we join ourselves at Peter's new hut.

"This is amazing. You've got the largest hut in the village and all these servants. And you've only spent a dollar fifty." Brian said as he counting up the money that peter is spending.

"Uhh, that's a hell of a lot less than I had to spend to go see that piece of crap remake of _Bewitched_." Stewie said as he sets up a cutaway about himself watching Bewitched the movie.

 **Cutaway**

As we cuts to a theater, we watch a scene of bewitched.

"Guess what? I'm a witch" Nicole Kidman said.

"Guess what? I'm a Clippers fan" Will Ferrell added.

The audience laugh at the movie theater as Stewie look in disappointment.

He leaves on a taxi.

He goes to the Quahog airport, goes through security, rides on an airplane while reading a book, arrives at Los Angeles, gets picked up by a limo driver who holds a sign that says 'Stewie', goes inside the limo, goes to the hardware store to buy a ladder, and arrives at Will Ferrell's house.

Using the ladder he bought, Stewie rings the bell. Will Ferrell opens.

"Hello" Will said, only Stewie knocks him out with a KO punch.

"THAT'S NOT FUNNY!" Stewie screamed as he walks away.

 **Cutaway Ends**

"Peter, this is ridiculous. We came here to take Chris home. Why are we staying?" Lois asked him on why are they not leave yet.

"Because I'm tired of being treated like crap at work. Don't you see what this means to me? I'm somebody here. Finally, a white man has an opportunity to be rich and in charge." Peter explain to Lois that he tired of being treated like crap at work and he feels like someone here.

As Peter flips a nickel to cousin Vinny.

"Hey, Pesci, here's a nickel. Say Yugoslavia." Peter asked Vinny to Say Yugoslavia.

"Yugoslavia." Vinny Said Yugoslavia.

"Ha, ha, ha!" Peter and Frank Jr laugh to the joke.

As John flips a nickel to one of the natives.

"Here's a dime, kill Peter." John asked one of the natives to kill peter for that joke.

We now join the reunited trio of Frank Jr, Stewie and Brian as they make a film documentary.

"The native man is an impressive physical specimen." Frank Jr said as they spot the native cut wood from trees.

"Look closely at his sinewy muscular form and unusual vitality." Tyler said as they see the natives lifting up the cut logs of the tree.

"It is a thrill to watch him dig a ditch or lift a jug of water or participate in a hunt." Stewie said as he tells the viewers about the trill to watch them dig a ditch or lift a jug of water or participate in a hunt.

As we zoom in on Brian ending the film.

"Cut. Print. Gay." Brian said as he thinks the film is guy and he is happy to have the gang back together.

Now back to Peter new hunt as we see peter laying his feet on a native while drinking coconut milk.

"What's going on?" Persephone and Meg asked Brian on what going on.

"Peter paid the villagers and Tyler to reenact the "Contest" episode of Seinfeld." Brian explains to the twins that Peter Griffin has "The Contest" reenacted by Tyler and the villagers of a South American tribe.

"I am out." Villager one said

"Huh?" Tyler aske in awe.

"I am out. I have pleasured myself." Villager said.

As one of the villagers imitating Seinfeld transition music.

"Dad, I've had enough of you taking advantage of these people. For God's sake, the woman playing Elaine is a high priestess." Chris accuses Peter taking advantage of these people.

"You can't spare one square?" The village's high priestess said her line.

"I don't have to take that from you. I'm the richest guy in town." Peter said as he leave his hunt to not hear what Chris has to say.

"Dad, don't you see? This is a wonderful place... and you're just using it to escape from your problems at home.' Chris accuses Peter of "using" the natives to escape his troubles

"What do you mean? Meg and Persephone are right there." Peter said as he point out that the twins are the source of his problems. Until Frank and John smack him beside the head.

That's when Lois steps in to talk to Chris.

"But Chris, honey, aren't you doing the same thing?" Lois tells Chris that he is doing the same thing.

"What do you mean?" Chris asked his mom on what she is saying.

"I mean, you just came here because you were being picked on at school. You're using these people to escape your problems." Lois points out that that is also what Chris did.

That when Chris realized that she was right.

Oh, my God. You're right. I married this 11-year-old girl for all the wrong reasons. Chris said as he feels guilty for doing this.

"I'm sorry, Loka. I guess I just came here because I was afraid of being a freshman." Chris then decides to return to Rhode Island, telling his wife that he must leave her, casually referring to his status as a freshman.

"But Chris, you can't leave me since I'm pregnant!" Loka said

"Well, if you're happy then I'm happy, because after all…" Chris said in agreement until he listen what the Loka said.

"Wha…t?" Frank Jr and Chris shouted in shocked.

How? Chris asked on how it happened.

 _ **Flashback after the festival of the harvest.**_

Friday night came quicker than Loka could have dreamed. She did her hair up to look as hot as she could, put on her skimpiest dress, and made sure to wear her sexiest panties underneath: none at all. As she left the house for fun time, she had to resist the urge to run behind the house and rub one off. She couldn't stop thinking about Chris and all the dirty things they were about to do.

Finally, she reached his hunt. His sister and nephew are party with villagers. As she walked into the room, she gasped at the layout Chris had set up. Candles lit the room, rose petals were spread across the bed, and Chris already had his clothes off.

"Mmm, Impressive." Loka purred, gazing at his gigantic cock. It was at least four times bigger than any male in the village.

"Like what you see?" Chris replied seductively.

"Very much!" Loka pulled up her dress to reveal her bare, dripping pussy.

"Like what you see?" Loka asked him.

Chris got up and walked to her, already erect. He grabbed her in his big, strong arms and pulled her in for a passionate kiss. "That answer your question?"

"Ooh, so strong." Loka felt his bicep.

As Chris smiled at her.

"Let me show you just how strong I am." He lifted her up and held her upside down, spreading her legs so that he could lick her wet pussy.

"Ohhh my!" Loka moaned.

She had never been eaten out so well before. He just skipped right to the fun part (For him anyway). Loka grabbed Chris's cock in her hands.

"Let me return the favor." She purred, sucking his cock passionately while upside down.

Chris walked her over to the bed and threw her on to it, kissing her again. "Why don't we forget the foreplay for now?" He suggested.

He grabbed his wallet from the floor and pulled out a condom to put on.

"No, no, no. No condoms. Just put it in!" Lois demanded.

Chris shrugged and eased his cock inside of her.

"Oh, my Gawwwd! It's so big!" Loka moaned.

Chris kept pounding her, leaning over to play with her nipples as well. It felt so good! Loka hadn't been pleasured like this in such a long time!

"Oh, Chris!" She screamed.

"Oh, Loka!" Chris responded, picking up the pace.

They changed position so that Lois was on top, riding him like a bucking bronco.

"Oh, God! Chris, I'm so close! I'm gonna... Gonna... AHHHHHHHH! CUUUUUM!" Loka' body shook with pleasure as she had her best orgasm in a long time, which, now that she thought about it, was her first orgasm in general.

They switched positions again so that Chris was fucking her from behind. Lois pinched her nipples for extra pleasure, hoping to feel that good just once more.

"Harder, Chris! Fuck me harder! Ohhh, I need to cum again!" She moaned.

"Loka, I'm gonna cum too! Do you want me to pull out?" Chris grunted as he is about to blow.

Loka knew he probably should, but she didn't want him to stop for even a second.

"No! Do it inside me! Just don't stop fucking me!" She screamed.

Chris obeyed, letting himself explode in Loka' pussy, filling it with cum. Loka screamed even louder as she came once more as well.

Once they were done, the two lovers lay back on the bed to relax. "That was amazing!" Chris panted.

"Loka, I know this was probably just a onetime thing, but can I just say that I wish I could be married to you instead of going home?" Chris said.

Loka turned to face him. "Who said this has to be a one time thing?"

Chris smiled, glad that this could continue as He just prayed that his mom wouldn't find out.

 _ **Flashback end.**_

As The natives respond exactly as the upperclassmen in Quahog do.

Freshman? Chief Oleki said as he signals the vilagers to attack.

Freshman! Freshman! Freshman! The villagers chanting as they chase after chris.

As Chris freaks out, he takes Loka's hand and they ran toward the Mallque/Griffin family.

"I guess you can't run away from your problems anywhere." Chris said to his family.

As Frank and Peter shouted "Run for your lives family!"

So the natives chase the Mallque/Griffins with spears and poison darts. They chase the Griffin family in the same manner as the Hovitos chased Indiana Jones.

"Jock! Start the engine!" Peter shout for Jock to start the plane.

"Get the plane up!" Frank shout also at jock to start the plane up.

Jones' pilot, Jacques is shown as he was depicted in the film and music from the soundtrack was played. The Mallque/Griffins enter the plane and they escape on a seaplane

"Frank, I think we forgot Peter." Brian said as he point out that they forget Peter, who is left face-down in the river riddled with darts and arrows.

As they return home, Frank had loka go to bumblescum to live with Sam and raise chris kids until Chris graduate high school.

But now we return to James wood High school as The Mallque/Griffin Family capture the people who haze Chris.

As Menma and Rage blocked their exist while Chris, the mallque's and his fellow freshmen slapped Jocks' butt with their paddles and Frank Jr joined in as they slapped one of the teachers butts, then the lunch lady and finally Lois Griffin and Mayor West.

"Oh I got you now, Mayor West and Grandma, I am going to teach you a lesson that it is not okay to mess with the Mallque/Griffiin family!" Frank Jr said as he slaps Mayor West and Lois's butts with a paddle in slow motion while the song "No more Mister Nice Guy" by Alice Cooper plays again.

Mayor Adam West's sequence is directly referencing Fred O'Bannion, a Ben Affleck's character from the same film but with Frank Jr Take his place.

 **Alice Cooper**

 _No more mister nice guy_

Frank Jr slaps both Lois and Mayor West ' butt with a paddle in slow motion while John dress like Benny O'Donnell, Tyler is dress like Don Dawson and Frank is Melvin Spivey appear with him cheer Adam on.

 _ **Alice Cooper**_

 _No more mister clean_

Frank Jr give Chris a turn as he slaps Lois and Mayor West's butt with a paddle in slow motion and then spins his paddle in the air and Frank catch it.

 _ **Alice Cooper**_ _  
No more mister nice guy essay_

Frank slaps both Lois and West's butt with a paddle in slow motion one last time as they all laugh and giggle while teasing Lois of her pain.

 _ **Alice Cooper**_ _  
They say he's sick, he's obscene_

The scene end with Chris griffin walk slow motion to his crew for a job well done.

 **Chapter end**

 **I hope everyone enjoyed! This is thanking for pen123 and Family Guy Fan writer 15, Thank you all for cutaways, scenes, favoring, having me on alerts and with that. So enjoy and see you next chapter.**


	15. Chapter 64: PTV

**Chapter 64: PTV**

 _Somewhere in Afghanistan_

As we see a cave that holds Osama bin Laden and his crew of the al-Qaeda operatives. Osama is attempting to record a threatening video message to the USA.

"This is a message to all American infidels. Prepare to die in a sea of holy fire. You will be punished for your decadent ways on the first day of …" Osama said until he notice that he said radaman wrong.

"Wait. Wait Did I just say Radaman? What'd I say? "Radaman"? Ramadan." Osama said stammering.

"Radaman? What is that? What is? Yeah, Maybe Dennis Radaman is going to punish you with his crazy hair." Osama said as he tries to put it together.

"No?" Osama asked everyone in the cave.

"Osama." Man said in the background.

"What's that? Right, Right, yeah. No. Okay, Okay." Osama said as he gets it together

"All right, let's go again. Okay!" Osama said as he was ready.

"This is a message to all Amer…" Osama said until he laugh

"I'm not- I'm not gonna be able to do it now." Osama said as he tries to hold his breathes.

"I'm not OK, OK. I know.I gotta get I gotta get all the laughs out. OK. Gotta get all the laughs out." Osama said as he tries to get all his laughs out of himself.

"OK. All right." Osama said as he spots someone.

"Today sometime." Man said in the background.

"Stop making that face there." Osama said as he tells one of his guys to stop making faces.

As all men laughing

"What are you doing? He makes that face and it makes me laugh. You know what? Just turn around. I don't care where you look. Just look over there. All right." Osama said as he tells the guy to not makes faces anymore.

"They're cracking up over there. OK." Osama said as he tells us that his crew is cracking up.

"Oh yeah, Now look who's snickering over there. Mr. "I Can't Do a Suicide Bombing Because I'm Sick"." Osama said as he point at the guy who couldn't do a Suicide Bombing because he is Sick.

"He had a note." Osama said about the guy.

"He got you." Man 1 said to man 2.

"He's so bad." Man 2 said about Osama.

"He had a note from his doctor." Osama said as he know why.

"He brought a note from his doctor. It's a suicide bombing." Osama said about the guy about his excuses about ditching the suicide bombing.

"It's true." Man said in agreement.

"What are you? OK. All right. OK. All right. Here we go. Here we go." Osama said as he gets ready to do the video.

"This is where I get All serious now. OK. Death to…" Osama said until he laughs.

"I can't I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't Come on. Now you're just trying to make…" Osama said as he complain while laughing about his face.

"Hey, wait, wait, wait." Osama said as he leave the screen and he returns with a rubber chicken.

"Look. Look. Rubber chicken, you know? I should do the whole tape with this in my hand. Just with the chicken right here. Everyone will be, like, "What the hell?" Death to Americans. Let him do it. Let him do the tape." Osama said as he explains that the chicken will do the video.

"Talking chicken." Man said about the Rubber chicken in Osama's hand.

"Don't blame me. It was the chicken." Osama said as he point at the chicken in his hand.

"He was No. Actually, you know what would be better? Wait. Wait." Osama said as he walk out.

Then he comes back with big sun glass

Just walk out like this. Just come out like this, but all serious. Completely serious, like I don't even know I'm wearing them. Osama bin Laden said

"Oh man!" Man said as he about to laugh.

"Death to America." Osama said it in a serious tone.

As all of his men to chuckle.

"What? What are you looking at? Do I have something on my face? What? Right here? I'm just wearing my regular glasses. I always wear these. Osama said

"This is crazy." Man said out loud.

"Hey? It's me in a '80s movie, right?" Osama bin Laden said he is form a 80s movie.

They all laughing at his jokes

"Yeah, he got it. He got it over there. The little guy got it. Who is that guy? I've never seen him before." Osama said as he walks over to a hooded figure.

"How's it going, chief?" Osama bin Laden said as he remove the hood as it was revealed to be Stewie and Frank Jr

"Good day to you, sir." Frank Jr said hello to the terrorist.

"And now prepare to die." Stewie said as they proceeds successfully to attack all the al-Qaeda operatives, including bin Laden.

As Stewie battles the world's terrorist leaders hand-to-hand, including the Ira Newborn music used in the movie series.

During Stewie's fight, Frank Jr has a sword/rubber chicken fight with bin Laden, the choreography mirrors the Yoda vs. Count Dooku lightsaber fight from Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones.

Then Frank Jr's rubber chick had a whole open from his butt area by clashing with Osama sword and he used it to shove Osama head inside to knock him out.

As they ran toward the exist of the cave, Osama rise from his spot.

"Who are you?" Osama bin Laden asked the babies who they are.

"I'm Stewie Griffin and my partner in crime's name is Frank Mallque Jr." Stewie said as Osama faint from his battle with Frank Jr.

"And don't ever let me catch you guys in Quahog." Frank Jr said as they fall of the mountain.

"WHAOOOOOO!" Both Frank Jr and Stewie scream as they land on Stewie's Tricycle.

As the Police Squad! Theme song playing.

We see Frank jr and Stewie rides off on his tricycle, cycling through scenes from various movies and video games, Frank jr and Stewie rides his tricycle over a cat and though a gay pride parade, then through scenes from The Wizard of Oz, The Shining, Ben-Hur, Doom, Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back, and The Sound of Music the sequence ends with Homer Simpson being chased into his garage as in the opening sequence to The Simpsons, with Homer being flattened by the bike.

As the door open which reveal both Peter Griffin and Frank G. Mallque.

"Hey, Stewie." Peter said hello to his son

"Hey son, how was your day?" Frank said hi to his son.

As he and Frank look down to see homer Simpson on the floor.

"Who the hell is that?" Tyler asked with John nodding with him.

As we join ourselves at Peter and Lois room and Lois is asleep with Frank Jr until the heard stapled noise in the room. As Lois woke up to see peter laying out the red carpet.

"Peter, its 5:30 in the morning." Lois said to him as peter notice her.

"Sorry. I didn't know you were home." Peter said as he stop.

"What the hell are you doing?" Lois asked him.

"Laying down the red carpet. The Emmys are on." Peter said as he is very excited about watching the Primetime Emmy Awards.

"Tell me you forgot about Meg's play tonight." Lois tells him that he has to attend Meg's play.

"But, Lois, Meg sucks at plays! Everything she does is so freakin terrible and depressing! I went to her first-grade play that time." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about Meg's first play.

 **Cutaway**

We see a young Meg in a school play.

"Robin Hood, the king is keeping me prisoner here in his castle"

"Don't worry, Maid Marian. I'll save you" her playmate said dressed as Robin Hood.

"Boy, you guys are not sucking me into the story at all. I'm just telling for your own benefit. I'm very aware that I'm watching a play right now" Peter complained as he watches.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the griffin bedroom.

"I gotta watch the Emmys." Peter said as he really want to watch the Emmys.

"You're going to Meg's play and that's that." Lois said as she tell peter that they are going and that's final decision.

"Is that that, now, Mrs That's That?" Peter said as he aim his stapled gun.

"If you're gonna shoot me you might want to tie your shoelaces first." Lois said to peter about tie his shoes.

As Lois tackles Peter to the floor.

"Now, are you going to play tonight?" Lois said to peter as she pins him down.

"Yes!" Peter cries in pain.

"You like eating red carpet, tough guy?!" Lois said as she pins him down.

"Yes!" Peter cries as he given in to Lois's demands.

Outside we see Quagmire hears Peter and Lois while fetching the paper

"Say you like eating red carpet!" Lois shouted at him.

"I like eating red carpet!" Peter cries.

As Quagmire faints on the floor of Spooner Street from what he just heard

"...Giggity." Quagmire said.

Now we join everyone at James woods high school as tonight they are watching God and his magical rainbow suspenders.

"God, why do you wear those rainbow suspenders? Meg asked the person playing god in the play.

Well, I could tell you, but I'd rather show you through interpretive dance. God said as his dose his interpretive dance

The family watch how bad the play, both John and Tyler drank beer to knock themselves out. Emily asked Frank to change her diaper sand they both left the play.

As the trio couldn't take it anymore so Brian punches Stewie who start to cry and then Frank Jr punches Brian in balls who also start to cry.

"Whoops, crying baby and dog. Better take him out!" Frank Jr said as he, Brian and Stewie all left the play.

This leave Peter and Lois alone with the people to watch the play.

"You know, Lois, if we leave now, we can catch the Emmy for best documentary." Peter tries even trying to convince Lois to leave early.

"I hear there's one on vacuuming." John said as he wake up from his coma and he too wants to leave.

"Really? That sounds interesting Wait a minute. You two can't fool me that easily. You and John are not watching the Emmys. Now, shush. Lois said as she is not leave and shush them.

As Peter tries many ways to watch the Emmys, such as watching TV inside a black guy's afro.

Excuse me. I gotta do some black-guy stuff. The black guys said as he leave with his TV inside his afro and Peter has nothing to watch again.

"Aww!" John and Tyler moan as they too were watching with peter.

"Man, this sucks worse than my 16th birthday party." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about his 16th birthday party.

 **Cutaway**

"Thanks for coming to my birthday party, Jake Ryan" Peter said on his 16th birthday party.

"Thanks for having me to your birthday party, Peter. Make a wish" Jake smiled.

"It's already come true" Peter said.

"Here's your present" Jake said as he…attempts to have sex with Peter for no reason.

"No! Jake, not like this! (Screams)" Peter freaked out.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we are back to the Mallque/Griffin house as they are watching the channel 6 news with tom tucker and Diana Simmons.

Our top story, beloved entertainer Bob Hope briefly came back to life, only to die in a tragic motorcycle accident. Tom tucker said

As we see Bob hope on a motorcycle.

"Hey, I'm gonna jump all those trash cans." Hope said as he decides to attempt to jump trashcans on a motorcycle.

This brutally failed, and led to his second death.

As we return to the news station.

"In other news, actor David Hyde Pierce created a major controversy at the Emmys, when a "trouser malfunction" caused him to expose his testicles." Diana said as she reporting that after a "trouser malfunction," David Hyde Pierce revealed his testicles.

"Sure Glad I didn't miss the Emmys. Diana?" Tom said to his co actor.

As both Frank and Peter look shocked and outraged.

"That's great, Lois. Thanks to you, I missed a moment of television history." Peter said as he is outraged that he "missed a moment in television history."

"Well, now you know how George W Bush felt when he showed up in Vietnam." Stewie said as he sets up a cutaway about how George W Bush felt when he showed up in Vietnam.

 **Cutaway**

We see George W. Bush arriving in a soldier outfit.

"All right, let's do this. Let's kick some ass" George said.

"George, the war's over" the receptionist said.

"What?"

"Yeah, it's done."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, man. Oh, man, I just got your messages and... I'm sorry. It's been over for a while. Really?"

"Yeah, it's 1981"

"It's... Wow, so I'm way late. Oh, boy. Yeah. You wanna do something else?"

"I got some blow"

"Son of a bitch! Took you this long to tell me. Break it out!"

 **Cutaway Ends**

No we join ourselves at The Federal Communications Commission (FCC), which is an agency to uphold broadcast standards of the community on systems including television and radio. Programs that are considered in violation of the standards are fined.

"Gentlemen, we got 20 calls about the David Hyde Pierce incident. As you know, one call equals a billion people, which means 20 billion people were offended by this. Something must be done." FCC agent said to his fellow agent as they reacts to David Hyde Pierce's trouser malfunction at the Primetime Emmy Awards real badly for people.

"Perhaps we should ask the chairman." FCC agent 2 said to one about talking to the chairmen for help.

"Good idea." FCC agent said as they walk toward the chairmen's office.

"Uh, Sir, what course of action do you recommend regarding the Hyde Pierce incident?" FCC agent asked his chairman about what to do recommend regarding the Hyde Pierce incident.

"You've got to censor television, you fools. Now, follow my orders." Cobra Commander said as He urges his employees to heavily censor television.

As Cobra Commander escapes his office in pod that flies out the ceiling.

Now we join Peter, Frank Jr, Brian John and Tyler as they watch TV.

"Stay tuned for Three's Company." TV announcer said

"Jack, are you out there? I want to show you my new bikini." Chrissy said as she appears with her bikini top censored, despite the fact that she was not exposing anything.

"What the hell? Why are they blocking out all the good stuff?" Frank Jr asked about his show.

As Peter change the channel.

"It's The …Van …. Show, starring … Van …!" The TV announcer said as The FCC censors out the words Dick and Dyke from the show's title, making the show the first victim of the David Hyde Pierce trouser malfunction incident.

"They're messing with our shows." Peter said as john nod in agreement.

"Come to think of it, there was something very different about that Honeymooners episode." Brian said as he set a cutaway about Honeymooners episode.

 **Cutaway**

We see a scene from The Honeymooners.

"One of these days, Alice, one of these days…'I'll stimulate the economy by buying an American car'" Ralph's voice was dubbed halfway.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the living room.

"This must be The FCC must be overreacting to the David Hyde Pierce incident." John said as he point out that the fcc is at fault at this moment.

"They're censoring anything unpleasant." Tyler said .

"What the hell? They let Sarah Jessica Parker on TV, and she looks like a foot." Peter complains about them not censoring Sarah Jessica Parker.

"Well, mark my words you guys, I'm gonna fight this." Frank Jr said as he plans on getting revenge of the FCC.

Now we join the gang at the channel 6 news station.

"You're on TV., Mr. Tucker. Can't you do something about this?" Peter asked for Tom Tucker for help with the FCC.

"Well, Peter, I'm flattered you came to me for help. We'll have more after this." Tom said as he takes commensal break.

Then he returns from his break.

"We're back. To answer your question, if you want to control content, start your own TV station." Tom said as his advice Peter is that he and his friend to starts his own television network.

"My own TV station. I haven't had my own business since that mail-order operation." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about him working as a mail-order operation.

 **Cutaway**

We see Wile E. Coyote asking for something in Peter's store.

"I bought a giant, life-size slingshot from you. It just slammed me into a mountain" Wile E. Coyote explained.

"No returns" Peter refused.

"I've been a customer for years" Wile E. Coyote complained.

"I can maybe give you a store credit" Peter offered.

"But... Really? Well, I guess…" Wile E. Coyote thought for a moment.

"What's the hold-up?" his wife appeared.

"I'm taking care of it!" Wile E. Coyote snapped.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join peter and his crew as they start on the TV Station.

"Peter, what are you doing? What is all this stuff?" Lois asked him on why there stuff on the front yard of their house.

Dad's starting his own TV station, but I'm not supposed to tell Mom because she'll just bitch him out. Chris answer Lois question while she is insult by peter message.

What the hell do you expect to accomplish? Lois asked him

I'm saving television, lois.

Apache Chief, put the satellite on the roof. Frank Jr asked Apache Chief, who is a Native American superhero from the various Super Friends cartoons created by Hanna-Barbera. He was one of the new heroes added during the 1977 series Challenge of the Super Friends along with Black Vulcan, Rima the Jungle Girl, El Dorado and Samurai to increase the number of non-white characters in the Super Friends ranks.

"Sure, Frank Jr. Apache Chief, eeh-nay-chuk." Apache Chief said as he helping Frank Jr place a satellite dish on his roof by reciting "Apache Chief-Inyuk-chuk," which means Big Man, where he grows to giant-size.

Afterwards, having nothing else to do, apache chief said something.

"Well, that was the high point of my day. Guess I'll go gamble." Apache Chief dejectedly says that it was the high point of his day, and decides to go gamble

As Frank and Peter starts their own television network called PTV. He broadcasts classic shows in their original, unedited versions, as well as original programming.

As Chris is behind the camera while he signaling both Frank jr and Peter that they are on air.

"Hi there. I'm Peter Griffin." Peter said to the camera.

"I'm Frank G Mallque Jr and you're watching PTV, with your favorite shows as nature intended them - with all the sex, violence, swearing and farts intact, like in all in the Family, where Archie got the Jefferson's to move." Frank Jr said as he sets a three part cutaway about the show in PTV.

 **Cutaway A**

We see Archie and Edith dressed in KKK outfits outside of the Jeffersons' house.

"Time for you to move there, Jefferson" Archie ordered.

"Oh, Archie. I can't see out of my sheet" Edith said.

"Edith, will you stifle yourself? We're supposed to be incognitus" Archie asked.

 **Cutaway A Ends**

Now back with Frank Jr on the show.

"And who could forget that classic episode of The Walton's?" Frank Jr said as he starts part B

 **Cutaway B**

The scene shifts to the famous house in The Waltons.

"Good night, Jim Bob." Marie Ellen said goodnight to Jim bob

"Good night, Marie Ellen." Jim Bob said goodnight to Marie Ellen

"Good night, Pa." Jim Bob said goodnight to Pa

"Good night, Jim bob, Good night, Elizabeth." Pa said goodnight to his kids.

"Good night, pa." Elizabeth said good nigh to pa.

"Good night, Ma." Elizabeth said good nigh to ma.

"Good night, Elizabeth." Ma said good nigh to Elizabeth.

"Good night, John Boy. Good night, John Boy. John Boy?" Ma said until John Boy doesn't respond and she goes to his room to find him masturbating.

"Damn it! Can't a guy masturbate at this house?" John Boy replies.

 **Cutaway B Ends**

We now join Brian and Peter with Frank Jr at the drunken clam as they read their ratings.

"Peter and Frank Jr, look at these numbers. We're a hit. I'd think about expanding your programming." Brian said as he tells them that they were a hit and need to expand their programing.

"Brian, that's a great idea. That's exactly what we need to take PTV to the next level. Original programming." Frank Jr said as they start their own original programming.

As the scene change to PTV first Original Program, The Side-Boob Hour which stars peter.

"Hi, and welcome to The Peter Griffin Side Boob Hour, a wonderful look back on all the partial nudity network television used to offer." Peter said as he shows a wonderful look back on all the partial nudity network television used to offer.

As we see a blonde female life guard in a red swing suit.

"Look at that side boob." Peter said as he presents the "side boobs" from Baywatch

Then we see a brown hair women in a white dress.

"Check out this side boob." Peter said he presents the "side boobs" from Dynasty

And the final scene show a side boob wide open to view.

"How 'bout that side boob? Huh? That turn you on? Well, it shouldn't, because that's my side boob. Good night, everybody." Peter said as the show followed by his own side boob.

As the TV id turn off and we join Lois, Frank Jr and Peter were watch the side boob hour.

"So, what do you think?" Frank Jr asked his family.

"I'm not sure Frank Jr, You and Peter gotta be careful about what you two put on your network. Children are impressionable. Remember when Chris saw Jackie Mason?" Lois said as she set up a cutaway about Chris when he watch Jackie Mason.

 **Cutaway**

"Chris, you should've left for school" Lois said.

"Shiksa, don't start with me. I forgot to go, I should've gone" Chris said as he talks like Jackie Mason.

"Chris, just go" Lois ordered.

"Mom, relax. You look so haggard. Lie down or your heart might go… (blows raspberry)" Chris joked.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the living room.

"Grandma Lois, Don't worry about it. I got a bunch of great new shows lined up." Frank Jr said as he gets his cell phone and call his friends.

"Maddie, how about you and your sister star in your own show." Frank Jr said on the phone.

All they was scream of two little girls from the phone..

As the scene shows Cheeky Bastard: A sitcom starring Maddie and Rosie as bickering roommates, in a style akin to The Odd Couple.

"Cheeky bastard is filmed in front of a live audience." Frank Jr said as the announcer.

As we see Maddie on the couch as Rosie comes in in a apron.

"My God. Where's my roast pheasant?" Rosie asked Maddie about her roast pheasant.

"By now I think it's in my lower intestine." Maddie said as she ate the roast pheasant.

To fulfill the claim that the show is "recorded in front of a live audience", Stewie records his own over-enthusiastic laughing during the character's punch lines.

"You ate it? But I told you my boss was coming for dinner." Rosie said as she that told Maddie that her boss was coming for dinner.

But she didn't listen to her about her problems.

"Unless he likes pork rinds, he's going home hungry." Maddie said as she brush it off.

As Stewie's over-enthusiastic laughing during the character's punch lines.

"You cheeky bastard." Rosie said about her sister being the cheeky bastard.

As Stewie's over-enthusiastic laughing and clapping during the characters punch lines.

The next scene show Midnight Q, Quagmire's midnight talk/sex show, which he hosts nude.

"Welcome to _Midnight Q._ Tonight, we're gonna enjoy the smooth jazz of Charlie Mingus, Norman Mailer is here to read an excerpt from his latest book, and then, we also have a girl from Omaha who's hiding a banana. We'll find out where. Giggity giggity. Giggity goo. Stick around." Quagmire said about his show.

As the next show to appear is _vital information with you daily life_ with Frank Jr.

"Live from Quahog, it's _Frank Jr_ _With Vital Information For Your Everyday Life_!"

Frank Jr is sitting at a table on a balcony overlooking Quahog.

"Hey party people! I'm Frank Jr with information crucial to your daily lives."

"I rue the day your parents had intercourse!" the off screen voice yelled. "I know you are but what am I? Now get over here and start tap dancing with this dead squid!" "I don't wanna!" Frank Jr said.

Frank Jr threw his hands up in frustration.

"If it looks bad, smells bad, tastes bad, and is vomiting on the floor, chances are, you're dad made dinner tonight." Frank Jr said.

"If you're getting a visit from your Great Aunt Mildred, the best course of action would be to stand perfectly still until she loses interest. Then, she'll spread her wings and fly back to her nest with offerings of nursing home pudding and bingo cards for her freshly hatched young." Frank Jr said.

"It took the Hebrews forty years to cross the desert. It took me five seconds to burn the house down." Frank Jr said.

"The other day my Grandpa Carter said 'Like OMG WTF TTYL FUR-EVA!' I'm pretty sure he was having a stroke." Frank Jr said.

"They say it's bad luck to kill a spider." Frank Jr takes out a mallet and smashes a small spider. "Yeah, bad luck for the spider, that is!"

"President Kennedy once said 'Err ah errah errr ahh...'. This is why I sleep in history class." Frank Jr said.

"They say you should stop and smell the roses. Well I did, and the Rose Family had me arrested!" Frank Jr said as he show them a pic about himself being arrested.

"They say two's company, but three's a crowd. I hope my girlfriend never heard that saying. Now what I'm saying?" Frank Jr said it like a gangster.

"They say too much of a good thing can be bad. Does that mean too much of a bad thing can be good?" Frank Jr begins to pour bees onto his head, and starts screaming wildly. "AHHHHH! THIS ISN'T A GOOD THING! WHY DID I THINK IT WAS?!"

Frank Jr shakes off the bees and recomposes himself.

"If you have a little black piglet in your pants, and you don't what to do, I suggest... you take the pig outta your pants! What, do you need an instruction manual, moron?" Frank Jr said.

"When caught cheating on a test, it'd help if you didn't say to the teacher "stupid over here won't give me the answers. Now gimme a kiss slappy wag!" Frank Jr said.

"Never try to protect yourself from boriac acid using only a pair of cheap googles. Why? Because zey goggle, zey do NOTHING!" Frank Jr said as he rips away his specs to reveal burnt out, crusty flesh covering his eyes.

"Well this has been fun but I have to go see a man about laser eye surgery. Smell ya later!" Frank Jr said as he gets up, only to trip on something and fall off the balcony.

"This has been Frank Jr with Vital Information for Your Every Day Life."

"I'm okay!" Frank Jr said from the bottom of the balcony.

Now we join Brian return home with a bag of fan mail.

"More fan mail." Brain said as he opens the bag to reveal fan mail.

"Sheesh, people freakin' love us. We'll be huge." Peter said as he excited about their PTV being more awesome than before.

As Lois and Meg come in to the living.

"Peter, I want you to cancel that show with the animals having sex." Lois complains about one of peter show.

"For your information Grandma, it's called Dogs Humping. It is the cornerstone of our Wednesday line-up." Frank Jr said as he argue back for his show is a part of their Wednesday line-up.

"Lois, Responsibility lies with the parents. There are worse things for children than TV, like when Peter baby-sat the neighbor's kid." Brian said as he set up a cutaway about peter babysitting the neighbor's kid.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter watching a kid who looks like he's dead inside a bathtub filled with water.

"Couldn't find your toys, so why don't you just play with this blow-dryer and these rattles? Guess that's it. You probably want me out of your hair, so here's the Drano in case there's a clog. Soap's right there next to the radio, and towels are on the roof. So, good night" Peter said as he gave him the dangerous stuff as he left the bathroom with the lights out.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the living room.

"Peter, it's one thing if a network runs inappropriate shows I can't do anything about, but I won't have it happening in my house." Lois said as she and Meg leave in a huff.

"There is absolutely nothing inappropriate about our programming." Frank Jr shouted at them leaving.

As Chris turns on camera and it shows Frank, Peter and Cleveland at the highway overpass

"Alright Dad and Frank, you're on." Chris said to his father.

"Hey PTV fans, welcome to "Douchebags", we're out here on the I-95 overpass doing our first segment: "I dare you to crap off of that"." Frank said as he introduce them to the show.

"Basically, we'll spend the days crapping on things others have dare us to crap on." Peter said as he explains that their show is about them spending the days crapping on things others have dare us to crap on

"I dared him." Cleveland said to the audience

Alright, here we go. Peter said as he gets ready.

As Peter and Cleveland took off their pants and prepared to crap on the highway, unaware that Lois is driving on that highway with Stewie and Emily.

"I say, are those two pigs vomiting up there?" Stewie said as he spots Peter and Cleveland.

"OH MY GOD!" EMILY shout as she see them pooping.

As Stewie, Lois and Emily screamed in terror as Peter and Cleveland's feces landed splat on Lois' windshield.

Then we cuts back to Chris' camera recording Peter and Cleveland looking down as the sound of tire screeches was heard.

They then a sound off smashing metal was heard.

"Uh oh." Peter and Frank said together as they were in trouble.

Now we cuts back to the Griffin house were Lois and Emily were enraged at Frank, Frank Jr and Peter.

"Now Lois, Emily, before you both start yelling, let me remind you both that you we're the one who recklessly drove into oncoming crap." Peter said as he explains that they were the one who recklessly drove into oncoming crap.

"It was inexcusable Peter." Lois shouted at her husband.

"Very inexcusable indeed, this was the second time I've survived in a car crash! And thank god I didn't end up in another coma." Emily:

And not to forget that Stewie may never be able to ride in a car again! Lois:

As Lois points to Stewie cowering in a state of shock.

"Turn off the windshield wipers, they don't work, they're just making it worse!" Stewie said as he still cowering form the poop attack.

"Peter, that's it, I asked you to stop and you didn't listen to me. I'm sorry, but you left me no other choice, I called the FCC." Lois said as she calls the FCC

"Oh yeah, we know all about the FCC." Peter said as this action prompting Peter, Brian, and Stewie to perform an elaborate musical number about how insane the FCC's regulations are.

Both Frank Jr and peter started to dance near Lois and they start sing their song about the FCC.

 **Peter**

 _They will clean up all your talking in a manner such as this_

As Peter and Frank wave the hand while Frank Jr and Meg dance to the beat.

 **Brian**

 _They will make you take a tinkle when you want to take a piss_

As Brian dances to the beat with John and Tyler and Emily feel Jealousy for not join in.

 **Stewie**

 _And they'll make you call fellatio a trouser-friendly kiss_

As Stewie dance in his Conner and he get over his shocked while join the group in the song.

 **Frank Jr, Peter, Brian, & Stewie**:

 _It's the plain situation! There's no negotiation!_

As they all join in and dance in the living room near the TV and wiggle their fingers about the FCC never having negotiation with no one.

 **Frank Jr**

 _With the fellas at the freakin' FCC!_

As the group point at the t vans it show scenes from the show like Peter doing a seductive dance for Lois in "Emission Impossible".

Next scene shows The Pawtucket Beer commercial with the lesbians from "I Am Peter, Hear Me Roar".

Next scene shows Peter covering himself while watching Dr. Amanda Rebecca's tapes from "Road to Rhode Island".

Next scene shows Peter trying to seduce Luke Perry from "The Story on Page One".

Next scene shows Peter and Frank removing Menma and Cleveland's clothes and his own to calm him down from "John the Bachelor".

Next scene shows Peter walking into the Quahog Minimart naked from "Fifteen Minutes of Shame".

 **Brian**

 _They're as stuffy as the stuffiest of special interest groups..._

As Brian appears in a suit relaxing with a pipe and Peter is in toilet.

 **Peter**

 _Make a joke about your bowels_

As Peter rise from the toilet and salutes with Frank Jr and Frank Jr wears an army uniform.

 **Frank Jr**

 _And they order in the troops_

As Stewie rise from the toilet and takes out the book, _everybody poops_ to show it to everyone.

 **Stewie** :

 _Any baby with a brain could tell them everybody poops!_

 **Peter, Brian, & Stewie**:

 _Take a tip, take a lesson! You'll never win by messin_

As Brian, Frank Jr and Peter dance around the toilet plus wiggle their fingers

 **Frank Jr**

 _With the fellas at the freakin' FCC._

As Frank Jr flush the toilet with Stewie going down the pipes like a piece of poo.

 **Peter:**

 _And if you find yourself with some young sexy thing_

As we see Peter and Frank Jr walking toward a meadow with butterflies in the air while they play harps. Then we spot a couple making out during their picnic with Stewie and Brian dress like satyrs while playing piccolos plus dance near the couple.

 **Frank**

 _You're gonna have to do her with your ding-a-ling,_

As the couple are still kissing until the male notice something from inside his pants. Until a bell come out of his fly with a spring. The woman shrieks from what just happened.

 **Frank Jr**

 _Cause you can't say penis!_

As Frank Jr pops ups near the tree that the couple was near on as he explain to the couple about what just happened to them right now.

 **John**

 _So they sent this little warning they're prepared to do their worst_

As John hold an envelope and he shows it to the audience then he passes it to Tyler.

 **Tyler**

 _And they stuck it in your mailbox hoping you could be coerced_

As Tyler holds the envelope and then he puts it in the mailbox.

 **Frank**

 _I can think of quite another place they should have stuck it first!_

As we see Frank making a statue of The Townley _Discobolus_ with the mailbox shove in the man's butt of the statue.

 **Peter, Brian, & Stewie**:

 _They may just be neurotic or possibly psychotic_

As Frank Jr, Peter, John, Tyler, Brian, Stewie and Frank are dress in tuxedos plus top hats with canes until Peter, Stewie and Brian ripe their clothes to revel themselves in travestial outfits. While Frank Jr, John, Tyler and Frank are in pimp clothing with Frank Jr holding a pimp cup.

 **Frank Jr, John, Tyler and Frank**

 _They're the fellas at the freakin' FCC!_

As the scene changes to Stewie, dressed in leather bondage gear, spanks Brian who is tied up and ball gagged.

Next scene shows Peter, in a skimpy pink bikini, flashing his boobs on Howard Stern's radio show.

Next scene shows Frank, with his pants down, farts while Frank Jr lights it what appears to be a disposable lighter. He and Brian watch while wearing welder's visors.

Next scene shows John, naked, on a date with a blow-up doll that looks similar to the one Quagmire danced with on "Peterotica" during his "Make 'Em Laugh" musical number.

Next scene shows Justin Timberlake removes Peter's nipple covering in a parody of the Janet Jackson incident.

Next scene shows Tyler sucks on a Popsicle, simulating oral sex.

Next scene shows Emily, Meg and Persephone, in nightgowns, having a pillow fight.

Next scene shows John, wearing a miner's cap, puts on rubber gloves, presumably about to give Persephone a cavity search.

Next scene shows Frank chokes Meg with a watermelon slice from "Emission Impossible".

Next scene shows Amanda Rebecca, the woman from the marriage counseling videos, rips off her blouse in "Road to Rhode Island".

Then Next scene shows Frank hurriedly covers up his genitals with a pillow as a door is opened from "Road to Rhode Island".

Next scene shows Stewie admires himself wearing lipstick in "Emission Impossible".

Next scene shows Dave Campbell, naked, bends over to feel the lawn in "From Method to Madness".

Next scene shows Stewie humps a Miss Piggy doll in "Brian Does Hollywood".

Next scene shows Peter, naked, makes pelvic thrusts at Persephone in "From Method to Madness".

Next scene shows Stewie gives a public speech and realizes he is naked from "He's Too Sexy for His Fat".

Next scene shows Peter licking his boob in "He's Too Sexy for His Fat".

Next scene shows Quagmire gets his penis slammed in a window in "Lethal Weapons".

Next scene shows Meg in a leather S&M outfit from "Let's Go to the Hop".

Next scene shows Stewie sucks on Peter's nipple in "I Am Peter, Hear Me Roar".

Next scene shows Peter, without pants, passes out on the laps of Meg, Persephone and her friends in "Jungle Love".

Next scene shows Jeff Campbell, naked, squirts a super-soaker covering his penis in "From Method to Madness".

Next scene shows Peter makes orange juice using his nipple in "The Story on Page One".

The song ends with Peter, Stewie and Brian in travestial outfits.

As we hear clapping in the background and we see the FCC has arrive, plus they love the song.

"Mr Griffin, that was terrific, but I'm here to tell you that as of today, PTV is shut down.' The FCC Agent said as they are here to shut PTV down.

"Shut me down, huh? Well, you'll have to catch us first." Frank Jr and Peter said as they get jet packs and they try to fly away but they hit the wall in the house.

"Ow! God!" They both shouted in pain and they stop the jet packs since it running out of gas.

"All right, you caught me." Frank Jr said as he and peter gave up.

Now we join The FCC shut down PTV as they take all of PTV stuff and cameras.

"We're tired of you infecting people with your smut. It's an epidemic. It must be contained. The FCC member said to peter and Frank.

"Well, Mr. FCC, you can stop PTV, but you can never stop people from being who they are." Frank shouted from the front door of his house as he tells the FCC that they can't stop people from being who they are.

"Or can we?" The FCC said to his fellow agents as they take on the challenge.

As we join Frank in the shower of the Mallque/Griffin House bathroom as he get out of the shower until he notice something from his downstairs area.

"Aaaah, What are you doing?" Frank screamed as they block his dong with a black rectangle.

As Peter come in as he look shock at the FCC Member being here.

"And why are you in the bathroom?" Peter asked them.

"Censoring real life." FCC Member explain to Frank that they start to censor any foul language and inappropriate behavior in Quahog.

"His Father's chin looks like balls, you want me to cover that, too?" FCC Member asked his fellow FCC Member about peter's chin to be censored it as well.

Now we join the family in the kitchen with FCC Agents there to censor them.

"How long will you guys be censoring us?" Peter asked them on how long they will be censoring them.

"Until you and all of Quahog start to clean up your act, like when Ozzy Osbourne stopped biting heads off bats." FCC Member said as he sets up a cutaway about Ozzy Osbourne.

 **Cutaway**

The scene shifts to an Ozzy Osbourne concert.

"Before I start playing, I'm gonna eat this whole sandwich" Ozzy said as he eats a submarine sandwich.

"I'll finish it later" Ozzy said.

 **Cutaway Ends**

"Lois, these eggs are scrambled. I thought for sure you'd be making eggs Benedict Arnold." Peter said

"Hehehehehe!" Frank Jr laughs at that joke to get even with his grandma.

"Brian, stop writing jokes for Peter. You brought this on yourself by putting on those filthy shows." Lois

"Oh Lois, you are so full of... _[Air horn beeps]"_ Peter said until the FCC Agent used air horn to bleep all expletives.

"What?! Now Pops can't say _[BEEP]_ in my own _[BEEP]_ ing house? Frank said as he too was censored by air horn.

" _[BEEP]_ Great, Lois. Just _[BEEP]_ in' great." Peter said as he had it with Lois ads he look piss.

"You know, you're lucky you're good at _[BEEP]_ Pop's _[BEEP]_ or he'd never put up with ya. You know what I'm talking about, when you _[BEEP]_ lubed-up _[BEEP]_ toothpaste in my _[BEEP]_ while you _[BEEP]_ on a cherry _[BEEP]_ Episcopalian _[BEEP]_ extension cord _[BEEP]_ wetness _[BEEP]_ with a parking ticket!" Frank explain all the nasty stuff that Lois did for peter off screen while being beep.

As Lois feel embarrass by what Frank said while giving him the stank look.

"That is the best." Peter said as he remembers all that stuff.

As John and Tyler look disgusted by what just happened even thou it was censored.

"Uh, check please!" John and Tyler said as they leave the table and lock themselves in their room before any FCC members could enter.

Now we join Peter going inside the drunken clam as he enter a FCC member come at him and puts a device on Peter that coves his butt.

"What is this?" Peter asked him about the device.

"The FCC has forbidden audible flatulence." Everyone must wear this device that converts all fart sounds into Steven Wright jokes. The FCC member explains that audible farts are banned in public so everyone must wear this device that converts all fart sounds into Steven Wright jokes.

As peter lets out a fart it turn into a Steven Wright joke.

"I spilt spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone." Steven Wright spoke form the device.

"Oh, this is bogus." Peter shouts at the FCC member.

Now we join Mayor Adam west in the restroom of the drunken clam was he finish peeing in the sanjay as he about to shake his junk to see if he has more pee. Until he was stop by a FCC member.

Two shakes. That's it. Move along. FCC member said to Adam west.

"Why, thank you, tinkle fairy." Mayor West said as he leaves.

Now we join Peter and Lois in bed with Peter still piss off at Lois for make the FCC ruin everyone lives.

"Lois, you ruined everything, you know that." Peter said as he blames Lois for bring the FCC into their neighborhood.

"Peter, I know it's a little extreme, but when it comes to our children, it's better to err on the safe side, right?' Lois said as she explain that her decision is the right thing for her children and family even if it's a little extreme.

" **NO!"** Everyone shouted from all of their rooms as Lois look shocked from hearing her own family disagree with her decision.

"See that Lois, nobody agree with you at all, you know that if everybody was as closed-minded as you, the world wouldn't have some of its most inspired creations." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about world's most inspired creations

 **Cutaway**

The scene shifts to two drunk guys driving.

"Man, this chocolate bar is delicious" drunk guy 1 said.

"Yeah, I love peanut butter" drunk guy 2 said. Both cars crashed into each other.

"I'm Officer Reese's. What happened here?" Officer Reese's said as he arrived.

"He got peanut butter on my chocolate" drunk guy 1 said.

"He got chocolate in my peanut butter" drunk guy 2 said.

However, Officer Reese ate the combined snacks thus discovering peanut butter cups later in the future.

This cause Officer Reese's shot both of them at the same time

But then Frank appear and shot Officer Reese in the back and taking his idea for himself.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to Peter and Lois in bed.

"Come on. I know what'll make you feel better. How about a little angry sex?" Lois said as she will give Peter some angry sex to calm him down.

"All right." Peter said in agreement as they begin to kiss and to star to have sex until FCC Agent stop them.

As the FCC Agent used the air horn on them to stop.

"Whoa. Those actions are highly inappropriate." FCC Agent said as Lois look shocked.

"What? Wait, we're not allowed to have sex?" Lois asked the FCC agent as she discovers that the FCC's guidelines prevent her and Peter from having sex.

"You can have sex, just no moaning, no tongue kissing, no thrusting, and no movement whatsoever." The FCC agent said as he explains that they can have sex, just no moaning, no tongue kissing, no thrusting, and no movement whatsoever

As Peter was still inside Lois's Vagine and Lois is not feel nothing.

"This isn't very romantic. How are we supposed?" Lois said as she tries to argue for her right to have sex until peter interrupts her.

"I'm done. Night, Lois." Peter said as he goes to sleep on Lois while Lois feel shame that she didn't get any tonight and Peter still inside her.

Now we join Lois in the kitchen as she tries to open a bag of chips.

"Come on, you son of a (beep) me." Lois said as she sweared until she was beep by air horn and she accidently open the bag plus spilt the chips on the floor.

"Brian, would you mind?" Frank asked Brian if he would eat the chips on the floor.

"Yeah, sure." Brian said as he starts eating the chips like a dog.

As Lois turn to her son in-law, Frank and John to talk to them.

"Sorry. I haven't had sex in two weeks. I'm just a little on edge lately." Lois said as she explains that she was being prevented from having sex due to the indecency laws.

"There wasn't this much tension when the slaves were freed." John said as he sets up a cutaway about the slaves being freed.

 **Cutaway**

We see a white man freeing a black slave.

"OK, so you're free to go. But we're cool, right?" the white man said as he got rid of the handcuffs.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join Peter and Frank Jr in the living room watching TV as Lois comes in to talk to Peter.

"(Sigh) Peter, Frank Jr, we have to talk." Lois said as she asked him something.

As both Frank Jr and Peter turn to her.

"I thought this FCC thing was a good idea at first, but it's just gone way too far." Lois said as she realizing the consequences of her overzealous actions.

"What are you saying, Lois?" Peter asked her on what is she saying.

"Well, I don't want to admit it, but I think you and Frank Jr were right." Lois said as she eventually concedes that both Frank Jr and Peter was right.

Which shocked both Franks and Peter from realized that Lois did a mistake and they didn't which cause the men to dance.

"I don't believe it. Finally I can do this." Frank Jr said as he prompting him to unveil a banner reading **"Frank Jr's Right!"**

"I set that thing up 15 years ago. Hey, where's the clown?" Peter said as which he had set up 15 years earlier in preparation for such an event until he notice the Clown didn't show up.

"We've gotta do something about this. Pack your bag, Guys. We're going to Washington." Frank said as they both lobby Congress to have the FCC's rulings reversed.

Until a clown skeleton fall over them which scared Tyler.

There he is. Peter said as he found his clown buy he is dead.

Now We join the Mallque/Griffin family in the family car as they go to Washington D.C.

"Are we there yet?" Chris asked if they there yet.

"No, honey, we're not." Lois reply.

"Are we there yet?" Chris asked if they there yet again.

"No, Chris." Frank Jr said as he reply and starting to be piss off.

"Are we there yet?" Chris asked if they there yet again.

Which caused Frank to lose it and he turn to Chris.

"Yes, Chris. OK? We're there." Frank shouted his response.

"Liar!" Chris shouted back at Frank for lying to Chris until John puts Chris into a sleeper hold and Chris was knock out for the rest of the trip.

As we join Brian and Stewie in the back as Brian spots Stewie read the East of Eden.

" _East of Eden_? So, you-you pretty much do whatever Oprah tells you to, huh?" Brian said as he accuse Stewie being a follower of Oprah.

"You know, this book's been around for 50 years. It's a classic." Stewie said as he defend his book.

"But you just got it last week, and there's a giant Oprah sticker on the front." Brian said as he points out that Stewie got the book last week, and there's a giant Oprah sticker on the front.

"Oh, is that what that is? Let me just uh..."Stewie said as hedesperately tries to remove sticker.

"So, uh, what are you going to read after that one?" Brian asked him which book he is going to read after.

"Well, she hasn't told us yet. Damn!" Stewie said that Oprah has tell him yet until he realized that he do whatever Oprah tells him to.

When the Griffins arrive at Washington, DC, both Emily, John and Tyler plus Frank went to The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) building to face them.

"And the motion carries. The janitor's new nickname is Sweepy." Congress man said as he made a notion of the janitor's new nick name is Sweepy.

As the crown chattering until they heard a fart resonating and they all rush outside to see it Frank Jr holding a bow horn near his butthole and he let it's rip.

As Frank Jr stop fart on his air horn as he turns to the congress men.

"Gentlemen that was a fart." Frank Jr explain about his fart.

"What's going on?" Congress man 2 asked the family on what they are about here in congress.

"I'll tell you what's going on. This government's FCC is trying to take the farts away from television, and all the sex and nudity and all the poop." Peter agrues with congress about FCC is trying to take the farts away from television, and all the sex and nudity and all the poop

"Well, we say it's wrong. These things are part of the fabric of American life." Frank Jr said that the farts, sex, nudity and all the poop are part of the fabric of American life.

"We appreciate your passion, but this Congress supports the FCC. Indecency is un-American." Congress men said as they disagree due to their strong support of the FCC.

"Yeah? Well, we can prove to you that that's a bunch of bull." Peter said as he retorts by making them realize the resemblance of many Washington buildings to various private parts

"Look around you. The Washington Monument. Looks an awful lot like a penis, doesn't it?" Frank Jr said as he compares the Washington Monument to a penis

"The Capitol Building, quite obviously a giant boob." Peter said as he compares Capitol Building to a breast.

"And the Pentagon? Well, you look me in the eye and tell me it doesn't look like a big anus." Meg said as she compares the last build, The Pentagon to an anus.

"My God! How could we have been so blind?" Congress man said as he realized that they have been wrong all this time.

"He's absolutely right. Come to think of it, have you ever looked closely at the Lincoln Memorial?" Congress man 2 said as he set up a cutaway about the Lincoln Memorial.

 **Cutaway**

We see the Lincoln Memorial with the president taking a dump while reading a newspaper in the toilet.

 **Cutaway Ends**

As the Family stop the oppression of the FCC, it was finally over until Lois notice something.

"Where is Frank, John, Tyler and Emily? Thye should been with us at congress to stop the FCC?" Lois asked her family on where are the missing members of their family when they stop the FCC

 **Meanwhile back to the subplot of the Story**

We join ourselves at The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) as john and crew enter the main office of the FCC.

As the FCC agent caught up to them inside the build and they started to argue with them.

Until you and all of Quahog start to clean up your act, we will Censoring real life in quahog forever. You guy shouldn't be here. FCC Agent said

"Uh-oh, John. It's a sensitivity FCC mob." Emily said sarcastically as Tyler gets scared.

"We have a right to see what we want to see, you douche bags." John said as he stand tall with Frank and not moving an inch.

"There's no such thing as having the right to see nakedness anymore." FCC Agent said as he tells the group that they have lost.

"Yeah, we live in a post-joke world." Other SensitiveFCC Agent said in agreement.

"John, maybe we should just leave it to Mr. Griffin." Tyler said as he thinks they are not the right people for this.

"No, Guys, we're ending this right here and Now." John said that they are here to finish this battle.

"I'd like to see you try." FCC agent said as he flip John's hat off his head and he got john piss off.

As "Free Bird" BY Lanyard Skynyrd playing in the background.

 _I can't change_

As the FCC grunting from get punch in the gut from John.

 _Lord, I can't change Won't you fly high Free bird, yeah_

As Frank slam all the gather agent with a wooden board while Frank Jr Screams attack another agent by breaking his legs.

While Tyler shouts as his break glass, he used them as knives and he slash the agent's necks.

Then Emily yells as she beats up some of the agents then face a female agent kick her until she breaks her leg and stabbing the female agent with her high heel in the eye.

As the agent Grunts from the heir beats Emily is dodging slashes from a knife wielding agent. Then Emily stab the agent dead by said knife and she proceeds slash the other agents.

As john slam one agent and break his back, then break other agent's neck. Tyler then grab the knife that was in a dead female agent's eye and stabs the rest of the agents dead.

Then Frank grabs a flag pole and uses it to stab the corwed of agent near him. He then knock away a bat form one of them and it lands in the hand of Emily as she kill the agents with it.

Until the group was pull into a corner by a table being push by the two remain agents, they jump on top of the table with Frank and Emily rushing toward the last agents. The agent also jump on the table to charge at them until Frank and Emily exchange their weapons. Emily stabs the left agent with the flag pole while Frank smacks the other with the bat into the flag pole and that agent was also stab by pole.

As the group panting while believing that's what the kids wanted and also to exact revenge upon the FCC for allowing Persephone's virginity being lost on national television.

"(Breathing heavily) It was for my girlfriend, you pricks. John said as he and friend leave the build and Frank Lights the building.

As nobody at Congress know's that Frank, Emily, John and Tyler were the ones that beat the crap of the FCC well as destroying their build with the FCC Agents.

As they enter the car, Lois talks to them on where they have been and Why are they look beat up.

"we trip down some stairs and Nowhere important!" they all reply as they wink at Frank Jr.

Now we join the Mallque/Griffin family back at quahog in their home watching the news.

Our top story, the FCC's content ban on Quahog has finally been lifted. Tom Tuck repots the new of the FCC's content ban on Quahog has finally been lifted.

As we see Lois sitting next to Peter.

"Well, you did it, Peter and You too, Frank Jr. You both beat the FCC." Lois congratulates Peter and Frank Jr for beating the FCC.

"As well a result of the murders, the FCC is no longer around, leaving television completely uncensored." Diana said as she reporter the FCC is no longer around, leaving television completely uncensored as a result of the murders.

Which shocked Lois as she realized that it was John, Tyler, Emily and Frank that did that to the FCC.

What, Guys! What did you and Frank do! Lois said as she looks terrified about her children had done.

"Shh, Lois. Let's watch The Brady Bunch." Frank said the episode ends with the family settling themselves down to watch an episode of The Brady Bunch that prominently features toilet humor.

As The episode depicts the family standing around the toilet

"Look what I did. Isn't it the biggest, most super-special poop you've ever seen?" Cindy showing them her defecation.

Well, Cindy, I guess it's true that big things come in small packages. Mike said as he doesn't underestimate his daughter's ability to make a larger poop.

As they family all laugh at that joke with Frank Jr appear with them.

The gag ends with the signature show-ending of each of the squares containing a family member placed on the screen, one-by-one, expanded with the additional six spots with Frank Jr, Frank and Meg appearing on the male Brady side, John, Tyler and Emily appearing on Female Brady said with a musical cue from the series.

 **Chapter end**

 **I hope everyone enjoyed! This is thanking for pen123 and Family Guy Fan writer 15, Thank you all for cutaways, scenes, favoring, having me on alerts and with that. So enjoy and see you next chapter.**


	16. Chapter 65: Brian Goes Back to College

**Chapter 65: Brian Goes Back to College**

 **Narrator** _  
_ _Fresh out the net box  
Stop, look, and watch  
Ready yet, get set  
It's Family Guy!_

We see paparazzi taking photos of the cast as they come out of the limo and they walk on the red carpet.

 **Chorus:** _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

First it show Frank waling out of the limo with a poster with the words "oh" and he poses for the camera.

Then its shows Meg comes in looking all sexy as she signs autographs while she winks at the fans.

Then it turn to Lois comes in hopping while grabbing rose as she gives a kiss toward the fans.

 **Chorus:** _Check it, check it, check it  
Now this is just an introduction  
Before I blow your mind  
The show is All of That and yes we do it all the time_

Then it shows Frank Jr poses as he pull his hat down his chest as he throws a rose to the Fans.

Then next person to show up on the carpet is Stewie. As he flips his hat back to his head while he give autographs to fans.

Then Brian comes in sliding on the red carpet as he waves at the fan as he walks in _._

 **Chorus:** _So sit your booty on the floor or in a chair  
Ground or in the air  
Just don't go nowhere_

Then Emily comes in give autographs as she smiles at the fans as she tells one of her fans to call her.

Then the scene shows Persephone puts a rose on her mouth with a sexy angry look on her face.

 **Chorus:** _Cause everything we do  
It's all of that!  
When entertaining you  
We all of that!_

Then Chris shimming down the carp as he gives the fan a shout out.

Then Peter slide towards the carpet as he flips his hat back on his head.

 **Chorus:** _My posse and my crew  
It's all of that!  
So sit still cause we're coming right back_

Then the scene shows John throws a rose at his fans.

As the scene, changes to Tyler puts on rose his mouth as he gives everyone thumbs up.

 **Chorus:** _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

Then scene change to the Family Guy MC Cast walks down the stairs as they take a group photo while looking gangsters of the 80. All this while music ends as the scene fades to black.

As we join Peter and his friends impersonate the A-Team at a television convention at the Quahog Convention Center;

As they made roll call of the team

"A-Team roll call. Face?" Peter said as with Peter as John "Hannibal" Smith with his constant cigar-smoking, his black leather gloves, and his many disguises.

As we see, Quagmire as "Faceman" Peck and he is seen in leather jacket and jeans.

"Here and handsome!" Quagmire said as he look handsome.

"Murdoch?" Peter calls Joe.

As we see Joe as H.M. "Howling Mad" Murdock a baseball cap, a customized A-2 leather flight jacket with a picture of a tiger and the words "Da Nang 1970" on the back, a pair of khaki pants, and a pair of black Converse sneakers. He also often wears a t-shirt with a comical caption or a picture of cartoon characters like The Jetsons on it.

"Here, and... crazy!" Joe said as he shouted crazy to commit to his character.

"B.A.?" Peter said as he called Cleveland character.

As we see Cleveland as B.A. Baracus, his trademark hairstyle, he wear gold chains around his neck. Aside from the Army Ranger tattoo on his right arm, he sports tattoos on his knuckles: the left spells "PITY", while the right spells "FOOL".

"I pity the fool! But also suggest ways he may better himself." Cleveland says, "I pity the fool," a catch phrase associated with Mr. T, the actor who played B.A. on the show.

"This is gonna be a fun day. Much better than that day I tried TAG body spray for sick cats." Peter said as he set up a cutaway about himself tried TAG body spray for sick cats.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter putting on Tag perfume all over his body. A bunch of sick looking cats arrive and touch him.

"Oh. Oh. Oh, God. Oh, God. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're cute. You're cute. I don't wanna pet you, though. Oh, all right. What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? Oh! Oh, no! OK, no. Yeah, no, this spray is not for me" Peter groaned.

 **Cutaway Ends**

As we see Peter and his friends find Brian and Frank Jr

"Brian, Frank Jr, what are you two doing here?" Cleveland asked the duo on why they are here?

"Hey Brian, You look just like ALF." Peter said as he thinks Brian is dress like AFL.

"I'm not ALF. I'm Douglas Brackman from L.A. Law." Brian said as he explains that he is dress like Douglas Brackman from L.A Law.

"I'm here with Brian to help him writing an article for the Daily Shopper." Frank Jr explain as he and Brian are writing a report for the local newspaper.

"You'll have a lot to write after we win the costume contest." Peter said as Brian will have a lot to write when Peter and his group win the costume contest.

"Hey, check it out. Bill Cosby aerobics." Quagmire said as he point out something to the group.

As they see Bill Cosby is seen leading a group of similarly dressed men in aerobics that imitate Cosby's mannerisms.

When Peter and his friends visit the '80s television convention, a booth for _Small Wonder_ is seen in the background. Tiffany Brissette is seen sitting in the booth, with a sign that says Tiffany "Vicki" Brissette. Tiffany played the main character of the series, a robot named Victoria "Vicki" Ann-Smith Lawson.

"OK, everyone, Alan Thicke will be up in a minute to answer your hate mail, but first, the winners of this year's costume contest, the A-Team with the real black guy.' The announcer guy said the winners of the costume contest are peter and his group.

Then Peter and his friends cheered for win the costume contest because they had an actual black guy.

As we spot another A-Team with a Jewish guy dress as B.A. Baracus.

"OK, you can stop with that cigar now, Gary. My sinuses will thank you." Jewish guy dress as B.A. Baracus said to his friend Gary.

We return to the house as we see Brian did writes a report about Peter and his friends win the costume contest.

As we see Lois with the article going to Brian.

"Brian, I read your article in the Daily Shopper. It was wonderful." Lois said as she thanks Brian for a good article.

"Don't oversell it, Lois." Brian said as he tells her to not brag about it.

No, it was good. It almost felt like it was written by a real writer. Lois said as she thinks that Brian article is pretty good.

"I read your article too, Brian. Seems to me you should spend less time working on the paper and more time." Stewie said to Brian.

"Working on that novel you've been working on. You know, the one... "Stewie said in a high-pitched voice.

As Stewie begins to bug Brian about his novel in the same way he did with the high pitched voice in "Brian the Bachelor," but this time Brian hits him with a book before he goes on for too long.

Until the phone ring and Brian answer it.

"Brian. This is Wellesley Shepherdson calling from The New Yorker." Wellesley Shepherdson said his name which made Brian gasp.

"Perhaps you've heard of us?" Wellesley Shepherdson said as Brian was telephoned by a member of The New Yorker, who tell him they would like him to work for their magazine.

"Yeah, of course I've heard of you." Brian said as he is surprised by this called.

"I was using the Daily Shopper to shoo away a homeless person and I saw your article. We'd love to talk to you about becoming a contributor. Come by tomorrow." Wellesley Shepherdson said as he invite Brian to the New Yorker crew as a contributor.

"Wow, yeah, that'd be great." Brian said as he agrees to come.

"Two o'clock." Wellesley Shepherdson said as he hang up the phone.

Now back to Brian at the Mallque/Griffin house as he tell his family the news.

"They want me to contribute to The New Yorker." Brian said as the family pat him on the back.

"The New Yorker? You'll fit in there as well as I did at Woodstock." Stewie said as he sets up a cutaway about himself sings at Woodstock.

 **Cutaway**

We see Stewie performing at Woodstock.

"Excuse me, it's been brought to my attention that a few bad apples are smoking m***. I've got news for you, my friend. M***'s illegal. Not cool. All right, then" Stewie said as he starts singing.

 **Stewie**

 _Establishment! Establishment!_

 _You always know what's best_

"You suck!" someone shouted.

"Learn the rules!" Stewie shouted back.

 **Cutaway Ends**

As we join Brian at the New Yorker build getting a tour.

"Our writers' lounge, where you'll meet some contributors." Wellesley Shepherdson said as he open the door to the writer lounge where they meet some of the contributors.

"Fielding Wellingtonsworth." Wellesley Shepherdson said as his point to an almost brown hair bald man.

"Hello." Fielding Wellingtonsworth said hi to Brian

"Livingston Winstofford." Wellesley Shepherdson said as his point at the old gentlemen member of the team.

"Yes." Livingston Winstofford said as he says hello to Brian.

"Amelia Bedford-Furthington-Chesterhill." Wellesley Shepherdson said as his point at the only female member of the team.

"Good day." Amelia Bedford-Furthington-Chesterhill said as she says hello to Brian

"James William Bottomtooth." Wellesley Shepherdson said as he point at him.

As James William Bottomtooth suffers from a severe underbite (Habsburg jaw), which has given him a comically oversized lower jaw and has made his speech impossible to understand due to his extreme Locust Valley Lockjaw accent.

(Indistinct babbling) James William Bottomtooth said hello to Brian.

"Everyone, this is Brian, our newest contributor." Wellesley Shepherdson said as he introduce everyone to Brian.

Hi, there. How's it going? Brian say hi to everyone in the New Yorker.

"Would you like some tea?" Fielding Wellingtonsworth asked Brian if he want some tea.

"Cigar?" Livingston Winstofford asked Brian if he want some

"Brandy?" Amelia Bedford-Furthington-Chesterhill asked Brian if he want some booze.

(Babbling!) James William Bottomtooth asked Brian if he want something.

"Uh, No, I'm good, thanks." Brian said as he is fine.

"We read your article, Brian. Your study in postmodern American subcultures was quite illuminating." Amelia Bedford-Furthington-Chesterhill said as she like Brian's article.

"Wow, thanks. That means a lot coming from you guys." Brian said as he feels happy by this praise.

(Babbling!) James William Bottomtooth said as he try to saying something to Brian.

"I'm sorry?" Brian said as he doesn't get what Bottomtooth is saying.

(Babbling!) James William Bottomtooth said again.

"Uh, Yes?" Brian said as he answers him.

"Babbling, hahahaha!" James William Bottomtooth said as he laughs and he drinks his brandy.

As Brian walks away from James Bottomtooth.

"Is there a bathroom around here?" Brian asked Wellesley about the location of the Bathroom.

"Yes, yes, follow me." Wellesley Shepherdson said as they enter the bathroom but it had law chairs plus chimneys.

"Where are the toilets?" Brian asked about the location of the toilets.

"No one at The New Yorker has an anus." Wellesley Shepherdson said as he tells Brian that he and the rest of the New Yorkers have no buttholes.

Now we join the gang at the drunken clam as peter is still in his A-Team outfit.

"Peter, it's been two weeks. Don't you think it's time to take off your A-Team costume?" Joe asked peter on how long he is going to wear his A-Team costume?

"Yeah, I guess so, but part of me wished we could just be the A-Team forever, you know?" Peter said as he thinks that they should just be the A-Team forever.

As we hear a customer complaining about something.

"Oh, this damn chair keeps wobbling. I think one of the legs is short." A customer said about his chair keeps wobbling and he think one of the legs is short.

"Lance, I told you to fix that chair." Horace said to his employee about fixing that chair.

As we zoom in on lance as he carries some plates.

"I checked it earlier. It seems fine." Lance said as one of his legs is shorter the other.

Now back to the Peter and his group as they hear what just happened.

"That chair's always like that. We'll help you." Peter said as signal the team to get to work.

As Quagmire pass a cup costar to Cleveland, he fold a cup costar. Then Cleveland passes it to Peter and Joe lifts up the chair. So Peter can put the costar under the short leg of the chair.

"Wow, thanks." Customer said thanks to the team.

"Hey, if we could fix that wobbly chair, think of what else we could do for our community." Cleveland said as he thinks if they could fix that wobbly chair, think of what else they can do for their community

"Cleveland's right. It seems it's our destiny to be the A-Team after all." Peter said as he decides to become an unofficial A-Team alongside Joe, Cleveland, and Quagmire, and decide to help their local community.

"We're the A-Team, yeah!" All of them chanting and cheering for their new mission as the A-TEAM which cause a cutaway to begin.

 **Cutaway**

As someone narrates as Peter and his friends parody the classic TV show.

 **Narrator:** _"In 2005, a group of local misfits won a costume contest at an '80s TV convention. These men promptly returned home and drank some beer. Today they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the A-Team"_

(Cue the A-Team theme music)

As then scene show Peter fire a bomb at two Jeeps and one of the Jeeps flips upside down in the air. Then it show peter disguise as a black hair barber with a mustache and he had straight teeth. Then it show peter in a Godzilla costume while smoking a cigar threw it mouth hole and he scratching his chin with his claw while smiling.

 **Starring Peter Griffin as John 'Hannibal' Smith**

Next scene shows Quagmire is introduced and putting on a cowboy hat in a Mexican village. The next scene show a Cylon centurion from Battlestar Galactica is seen walking across the screen and quagmire point at it while wearing a blue suit.

 **Glenn Quagmire as Face**

The next scene show a black colored American-style hearse as the hatch open to reveal a casket with joe coming out and he fires a rapid machinegun. Then the next scene show Joe in a wedding dress as he remove he vial.

 **Joe Swanson as 'Howlin' Mad' Murdoch**

Then next scene show Cleveland kicking the door open with his foot looking mad. As the next scene show Cleveland Turing around with a mean look at the audience.

 **And Cleveland Brown as B.A. Baracus**

At the end of the A-Team intro Hannibal (Peter) is in the jeep that flips in the air. Immediately following the A-Team intro parody, Peter clutches his leg and exhales exactly as he did in "Wasted Talent," although he only makes that noise once instead of continuing.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the New Yorker at Wellsley Shepherdson's office.

"So I said to him, "Brown liquor before Labor Day? What, do you work for Esquire?" Brian said as he made a joke that made him and Wellesley laugh a lot.

"Oh, Brian, how droll. We'll have to put that into a cartoon, or as we call it, an illustrated laughing square." Wellesley Shepherdson said as he wants to make a cartoon of that joke.

"Wow, you went to Harvard, huh? I'm an Ivy League man myself, I went to Brown." Brian said as he notice that Wellesley went to Harvard.

"Ooh, my incarcerated business partner's retarded gay niece went to Brown." Wellesley Shepherdson asked him that he might have a cousin that might know him.

"What year? Well, I mean, I didn't technically graduate." Brian said as he tells Wellesley that he is a college dropout.

"You're a college dropout? Brian, The New Yorker does not employ your kind. You, sir, are fired." Wellesley Shepherdson said as he flip out from Brian being a college dropout.

After he is fired from his job at The New Yorker, Brian encounters a "No Dogs Allowed" sign,

"NO DOGS ALLOWED!" A Deep Male booming voice said.

As Brian hears a booming voice enforcing the rule

Then Brian walks away to lays on top of a doghouse. This parodies the Peanuts character Snoopy in the 1972 film Snoopy, Come Home.

Now back to the kitchen as Brian feels sad.

"Oh, Brian, I can't believe they fired you! How come you never told us you dropped out of college?" Lois asked Brain on why he didn't tell them about him dropped out of college?

"I, I saw an after-school special about that! It didn't work out too well for Kristy McNichol, but, then again, nothing did." Chris said something random which distress everyone.

"I was only one course shy of graduating and I just cracked under the pressure. Now it just cost me the best job I ever had." Brian explain why he quit and it cost him the best job he ever had.

"Don't take it too hard. You're not the first person to get fired." Emily said as she sets up a cutaway about the first person to get fired.

 **Cutaway**

"Louis, the French people really wanna thank you for your services as king, but, it's just not working out and we've decided to go another way, so…" a peasant said as Louis's head was chopped off.

"Yeah." a peasant said his peace.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the kitchen as Stewie and Frank Jr come in with a camera in hand.

"I just heard the dog got fired. Did I miss it? Did he cry yet? Oh, come on, dog. cry for me. Ah, there you are. Oh, yeah, cry for Stewie. Life isn't what you thought it would be." Stewie said as he zoom his camera to Brian's face.

"Boy, not graduating from college has haunted me for years." Brian said as he feel haunted by not graduating from college.

"Well, if you only had one class left why don't you just go back and finish?" Lois asked Brian why not he got back to college.

"Plenty of people do that." Emily said in agreement.

"You know, that's not a bad idea." Brian said as he decides to return to college to finish his last class.

"Well, this is boring. Let's go see what Meg is up to." Stewie said as after Stewie stops filming Brian because he didn't cry after getting fired.

As Stewie and Frank Jr goes to see what Meg is doing?

"Hello, Meg…" Stewie said until he sees her in her underwear, and starts to choke or possibly vomit.

As we see Brian passes through the Van Winkle Gates to enter Brown's campus. The large building directly in front of him in this scene is University Hall. In another scene, Sayles Hall is clearly visible.

As we see Brian enter his room and unpack his stuff until he see Frank Jr and Stewie come out of his bag.

"What are you two doing here?" Brian asked the babies why they are here.

"Are you kidding? Miss watching you crash and burn up in this misguided attempt to finish college, no I'm here to help you out?" Frank Jr said as he here to help him.

"You're not staying. I'll call Lois and have her pick you up." Brian said

"Hi, I'm your roommate Caleb. I like cutting myself. I bleed a lot. Can I have the top bunk?" Caleb said as he appear in the front door and he look dispersing.

"He already has a roommate!" Emily said as she appears in the room with her bags.

"Me, my Aunt Emily and my uncle Stewie. We're a couple of crazy college kooks. We're about to make a hilarious answering-machine message." Frank Jr said as he takes out answering-machine and Stewie turns it on.

"You've reached Frank Jr, Emily, Stewie and Brian. We're not here right now. If this is my Mom, Meg, please send money because we're college students and we need money for books and highlighters and ramen noodles and condoms for sexual relations with our classmates." Stewie said their hilarious answering-machine message.

As Caleb walks away backwards from what he just saw.

"All right, fine, you can stay, but what do I tell Lois?" Brian said as he gives up and asked them to what do he tell Lois.

"You don't have to tell her. Gary Coleman owed me a favor." Frank Jr said as he sets up a cutaway about Gary Coleman owed him a favor.

 **Cutaway**

"Frank Jr, you want more strained peas?" Lois asked.

"What you talkin' 'bout, vile woman?" it was Gary Coleman disguised as Frank Jr.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join the New A-Team as they have their new van. The 1983 GMC Vandura van used by the A-Team, with its characteristic red stripe, black and red turbine mag wheels, and rooftop spoiler

"There she is, boys, all done. The A-Team is ready to help rid the world of injustice and evil." Peter said as he was done painting the characteristic red stripe on the Van.

"Yeah!" Peter shouted as he takes the front seat of the van.

"ARRR!" Cleveland grunting as he enter the driver seat of the van

"All right!" Quagmire said as he close the slide door.

"Yeah!" Joe shouted as they pull down the wheelchair left for Joe to get in.

"Let's do it!" Joe shouted as he close the back passenger doors.

As the new A-Team drives off to find their next mission.

Now we join Brian at advanced physics at Brown University.

"This is advanced physics, right?" Brian asked the blonde women on her seat if he is in the right class.

Until the blonde women pepper spray him and Brian screaming in pain.

"I have a right to defend myself as a woman! No means no!" the blonde woman shouted at him as she is defending herself.

"Aah, what the hell is wrong with you?" Brian shouted at her on what her problem.

"I'm sorry. I just came from that orientation seminar about college dating." The blonde woman reply as she set up a cutaway about an orientation seminar about college dating.

 **Cutaway**

"Hi, I'm Kelly McGillis, and I'm here to talk to you about rape. Ladies, look to your left. Now look to your right. Statistics indicate that both of those men will rape you" Kelly McGillis explained in a video. The blonde woman looks at two men.

"I'm not gonna rape you" Man 1 said.

"I might" Man 2 added.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we see Steve the disabled professor who first appeared in "Ready, Willing, and Disabled".

'Good morning, class." Steve said hello to his students.

"Can I borrow a pencil?" Brian asked the blonde for a pencil.

"Now, now, it looks like we have a comedian." Steve said as he thinks that Brian is a heckler.

"I wasn't making a joke, I was just asking…" Brian said as he tries to explain that he asked for a pencil.

"Now, Louie Anderson, our first test is Friday, and if you don't pass you are out of the class." Steve said as he is Brian's new teacher and he takes an instant disliking to him.

Now we join ourselves as we see a cat on a tree and a little girl cries out for it.

"Fluffy! Fluffy, come down!" the orange hair Girl said as she yells for her cat to come down.

"Oh, Mommy, Daddy, what are we gonna do?" the orange hair Girl asked her parents on what to do.

Until the A-team arrive as they park in the yard of the little girl's house.

"Don't you worry, sad little girl. The A-Team will get your beloved kitty down. Ready, boys?" Peter said as they used their gun to cunt the tree down and it landed on their house.

"No need to thank us, it's what we do." Peter said as they left toward their van to leave.

Until the father calls them out.

"Who the hell are you guys?" The father shouted at them as he asked them on who they are?

"We're the A-Team." Peter said as they all high five each other, then they do a freeze frame.

"Get off my property!" The father shouted at them to leave.

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Let's go." Peter said as they get in the van and drive off to their next mission.

Now back to Brown University as we see Brian working on his assignment.

Then we see Frank Jr bring in a MC Escher drawing with Stewie.

"What do you think? We got this at the school store." Frank Jr asked Brian about the drawing he brought.

"It's an MC Escher drawing. I think it's called Crazy Stairs." Stewie said as he calls it crazy stairs.

"Look, Frank Jr and Stewie, I gotta finish this assignment or I'm gonna fail this class." Brian asked them to not distract him as he is working on his assignment.

As Stewie grabs Brian assignment and writes all the answers.

"All done." Stewie said as he finish his work.

"What? I can't use this. It'd be cheating." Brian said as he can't use this assignment because it'd be cheating.

As stewie then throws the assignment in the trash.

"Fine. I'll be out on the quad." Stewie said as he leave with Frank Jr to the quad.

"You know what I've discovered since I've been in college? Me and Stewie so all about Ultimate Frisbee." Frank Jr said as he spins a Frisbee on his finger.

After the babies, Brian's opinion quickly changes as he plagiarizing Stewie's work with his permission.

Until a Frisbee come out the window and hit Crazy Stairs drawing.

"Oh, no! Did that hit Crazy Stairs?" Stewie shouted from outside.

"I graded your assignments. Clearly there is only one person here who understands the material, Brian Griffin."

"Uh, just got lucky, I guess." Brian said as he chuckles out of nerves

"No, Brian, I underestimated you. Here, let me put a smiley face on your test. May I borrow your pen?" Steve said as he puts his head on Brian desk and asked him for his pencil to grade his paper.

"You Do you… do you want me to just stick it in there?" Brian asked him if he want him to just stick it in there.

"Yes." Steve said as Brian put the pencil in his mouth and he wrote something on his test.

"There. You have earned that." Steve said as Brian gets a high mark

We now join Frank Jr and Stewie inside the student activities center as they pass out beer cups by gaining tickets.

"Hey, what's up B-Ri?" Frank Jr said hi to his best buddie in college.

"Frank Jr and Stewie, just give me a beer. I've had a bad day." Brian said as Frank Jr pass him a beer cup.

"(Sigh) I cheated on that assignment." Brian said as he tells the babies the truth.

"You know, me and Frank Jr haven't taken a shower since we got here. We totally reek, man. Check this out." Stewie said as he puts his pit near Brian's nose and he freaks out.

"Come on!" Brian shouted at the babies for that bad smell.

"Tell me that's not epic." Frank Jr said to Brian that his smell is epic.

"I didn't come back to college to cheat my way through. I wanted to do it on my own." Brian complain that he didn't come back to college to cheat my way through, he wanted to do it on his own

"Will you relax? Plenty of people cheat." Stewie said as he points out to Brian that "lots of people cheat". This sets up a cutaway about people cheat.

 **Cutaway**

"Once again, Ashlee Simpson" Jude Law introduced Ashlee Simpson.

As she was about to sing, "Old Man River" plays.

She does a stupid dance and left the scene.

The background music, however, is Paul Robeson performing "Ol' Man River" from the musical _Show Boat_.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we are back at the Mallque/Griffin living room with Lois and Meg reading the newspaper while Peter was clean his shot gun in his A-Team outfit.

"Oh my god. Mom, look, they're tearing down Roger Williams Park to build a strip mall. Meg said as she point out an article about tearing down Roger Williams Park.

"Oh, no, we take Stewie and Frank Jr there all the time, don't us sweeties?" Lois asked her babies

"Victory shall be mine." Gary Coleman disguised as Frank Jr said as he takes a stuff doll of Stewie with him.

As Persephone comes in the living and sits next to her mom and sister.

"That's where I go to make out with my boyfriend, Darren Mitchellstork. Yeah, he's, uh, he's the… chairman of the…. Soccer… ball team." Persephone said as she lies about going to the park with her imaginary boyfriend even though she is with John.

"Well, all right. Make sure you practise safe sex, Persephone." Meg said to her twin to have safe sex.

Until both Meg and Lois laughs at her for that lie.

"Hahahaha! You little liar!" Lois said with a smile.

"Everyone knows you go there with John to have awesome sex in the bushes." Meg said with a loud voice which made Persephone get embarrassed.

"Roger Williams Park? That sounds like a job for the A-Team." Peter said as he has his next mission.

Until Peter shoots the ceiling and Chris falls through.

"Hi, Dad!" Chris said hi to his father.

"Go to your room." Peter tells Chris to go to his room.

"OK!" Chris said as he runs up stairs until he falls through the ceiling floor hole that was made by peter.

"Hey guys, why is there a hole on the floor of Chris's room?" John shouted from the door of Chris room.

"I don't like change dudes!" Tyler shouted from the hole in the ceiling.

Now we join Brian going to Steve's house as Steve host faculty cocktail party.

"Ah, Brian, I am glad you could come to my faculty cocktail party. Let me introduce my wife, Helen." Steve said as he introduce Brian to his wife Helen.

As she also suffers from motor neurone disease.

"Dammit, Steve, you forgot to put out the cheese and crackers." Helen said as agrue with him.

"Helen, don't start with me in front of our guests." Steve said as they seem to fight a lot and sometimes do not like each other.

He also hits Helen with his chair by bumping her chair.

"Do you think I like hitting you? I am sorry you had to see that." Steve said as his apologies to Brian for see his fight with his wife.

"Look, sir, I need to confess something. That assignment I turned in…" Brian said as he goes to tell his teacher that he cheated.

However, said teacher interrupts him.

"You know, Brian, before you came along I was so depressed I was planning to kill myself. But you have inspired me. If you can learn, maybe one day I can walk. Now, what was it you wanted to say?" Steve tells him Brian has inspired him, and he was so depressed that he was planning to commit suicide.

"Nothing." Brian said as he gave up.

As Helen comes back to Steve and Brian location.

"You were supposed to get potato chips, you jackass." Helen said as she tells him that he were supposed to get potato chips.

"Dammit, Helen, get the hell off my back or so help me so help me." Steve said as he fight with his wife again.

As Brian back away from the fight, he is stop by a guy from the party.

"Don't worry. I hear they have great make-up sex." A guy said to Brian as he set up cutaway about Steve and Helen great make-up sex.

 **Cutaway**

We see the professor and his wife in bed.

"Oh, that feels so good. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, yeah. Like that. Oh, baby. I thought about this all day. Not so fast. You are hurting me" the couple moaned as they 'make up' in bed.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join Frank Jr Emily and Stewie at the Brown University football game, looking at the scoreboard, you can see the opposing team to be "the Board of Education" a reference to the notable court case Brown v. Board of Education, which declared unconstitutional the segregation of public schools.

"Wow!" Stewie cheer with his group.

As Frank Jr and the Guy with Brown R high five each other.

"All right, All right." Frank Jr said to the Guy with Brown R.

"Stewie, I know we're trying to cheer for the team, but this is too much for me." Emily said as she complains about herself being here in the game.

As The camera pans back to reveal, she is classed in her gray bra and diaper. While her belly is painted with a brown W.

"Hey, nice diaper missy. Excessively cheer our team with the color from behind." Guy with brown O said as his notice Emily diaper.

As Emily felt so embarrassed and she looks down.

"I didn't asked to get humiliated..." Emily said, as she does not well about this moment.

"Well that is life for you. However, a hilarious one too." Stewie said

"Guys, come on, we're going home." Brian said as he tells them that he and the group are leaving.

"What are you talking about?" Frank Jr asked him on why they are leaving.

"My final exam is tomorrow. And The Only way I'm gonna pass is if I cheat. And If I do, what was the point of coming back to college?" Brian said as he eventually cracks under the pressure of a final test and knowing he will only pass if he cheats.

Therefore, his final decision is to return home with Frank Jr, Emily and Stewie.

"We cannot leave. It is almost half-time, and we all pooped in the tuba." Stewie said as he tells Brian they cannot leave until they see the marching band playing in half time since they all pooped in the tuba.

As the marching band playing their music until the tuba player plays a low tuba note and he eat poop.

As we all hear him scream from off-screen.

"OK, we can go." Frank Jr said as they all leave the game.

As we now join ourselves a new location, we see construction workers tearing down Roger Williams Park to build a strip mall.

Until the A-Team arrives and they scared, the works form destroying the park. As the team gets out of the van while Joe gets out with his chair assist.

"Hey, what are you guys doing? This is a job site." Construction worker said as he calls out the A-team.

"No, it's not. It's Roger Williams Park and we're here to stop you from destroying it." Peter said as he pumps up his shotgun.

"Whoa! What are you gonna do? Kill us?" Construction worker said as he notice the guns.

"Huh? Oh, no, no. We wouldn't do that. We'll probably shoot the ground around you to make you scared. Then you'll jump in your truck, speed off, hit something and do a flip." Peter said as he explains that they wouldn't do that, they probably shoot the ground around them to make them scared and Then the builders jump in their truck, speed off, hit something and do a flip.

"Well, That'd kill us." Construction worker said as he explain that the flip would kill them.

"No, No, you'll just roll out and dust yourself off and lumber to your hideout, defeated." Peter explains that they would just roll out, dust themselves off, and lumber to their hideout, defeated.

"Bubby, I had a cousin got in a fender-bender at five miles an hour. Messed his neck up, he's got partial numbness, he's just not the same guy." Construction worker said as he explains that he had a cousin got in a fender-bender at five miles an hour. Messed his neck up, he has partial numbness; he is just not the same person.

"Was he wearing his safety belt?" Cleveland asked if his cousin had his safety belt.

"Thank God." Construction worker said that his cousin had it on at the time.

"Yeah, cause, I know this guy who took his car in for an oil change. Later he got in a wreck and the air bag didn't deploy. Turns out they stole it, sold it for spares." Peter explains that he know this guy who took his car in for an oil change.

Later he got in a wreck and the air bag didn't deploy.

As he explains that it turns out they stole it, sold it for spares.

"No way." Construction worker said in shocked from hear this story.

"It happens. They call 'em chop shops. Makes it harder to track stolen parts." Joe said explain about chop shops and it Makes it harder for cops to track the stolen parts.

"Jeez, that is awful. Well, you got a lot of work to do. We should get out of your hair. Take it easy, now." Peter said as he decide to leave and let the builder continued their work.

"Goodbye! Yeah, see you." All said together as they all leave.

"Be sure to put your tools away." Cleveland said offscreen.

As the team fails a mission to save a local park from demolition by becoming "side-tracked by idle conversation" with the builders.

We now join our heroes at the drunken clam as they realized they fails a mission to save a local park from demolition.

"We blew it, didn't we?" Joe said, as he wants the truth.

"Boy, you can say that again. We were ready to save Roger Williams Park and we got sidetracked by idle conversation." Peter said as he realized they got sidetracked by idle conversation.

"We're a terrible A-Team." Cleveland said as he pouted.

"You know what the problem is? We didn't stay focused." Quagmire explain that the team didn't stay focused.

"That's exactly it. We didn't stay focused. I mean, we were right there, and then we just Somehow we just… I mean it… It's been said. We didn't stay focused. ." Peter said as he end the conversation

As we join Brian watches an episode of the sitcom The Facts of Life

"Now back to The Facts of Life." Man announcer said as we see Mrs. Garrett knitting a blanket.

Until Jo arrives with shave after tone.

"Hey, Mrs. Garrett, can I ask you something?" Jo asked her in deep man tone about her problem.

"What is it, Jo?" Mrs. Garrett asked Jo about her problem?

"Is it a problem if your penis and your vagina touch? Jo asks mentor Mrs. Garrett if it's okay that her penis touched her vagina. "Jo asks Mrs. Garrett if it's okay that her penis touched her vagina.

"What?" Mrs. Garrett asked in shocked on what she has heard.

"I try to keep 'em separated, but I woke up this morning and they were sort of together. I just didn't know. Is that OK?" Jo explain that she try to keep 'em separated, but I woke up this morning and they were somewhat together.

"You have both?" Mrs. Garrett asked in shocked that Jo has a penis and a vagina.

"Well, yeah, doesn't everybody?" Jo tells Mrs. G on the two genital and asked her doesn't everybody have two.

"No!" Mrs. Garrett said out loud.

As we see Lois coming down stairs to see Brian on the couch and not in college.

"Brian, what are you doing home?" Lois asked Brian on why is he home.

"I couldn't do it. I thought I'd be able to finish this time, but I just don't have what it takes to be a college graduate." Brian said he explains that he cracks under the pressure of a final test.

"But you're so close. I mean, your final exam's tomorrow. You can't give up. You could study tonight. I think if you work at it." Lois attempts to encourage him to go back and finish the test

"Lois, Lois. It's over, all right? I'm not going." Brian said as he is done with college.

"Well, whatever you say." Lois said as she walk toward her kid in the kitchen and they heard everything.

This cause Emily to have an idea as they whisper their idea to Lois. As Emily walk toward the closet which Brian to panic.

"Hey, what's in this closet?" Emily asked him.

"Uh, What are you doing?" Brian asked Emily as he feel nervous.

As Emily pulls a vacuum cleaner called "Mr. Hoover" and John and Tyler walk into the living room.

"Well, my my. Mr Hoover's come to visit." John said as he pushed the vacuum out of the closet.

"I-I don't wanna see Mr Hoover." Brian said as he stutters in fear.

"I wonder if Mr. Hoover has anything to say about this." Tyler asked him as he bring the vacuum close to Brian.

"Guys, this is not funny. I-I don't wanna see Mr. Hoover." Brian said in fear until the vacuum cleaner start by Emily.

"Ah, Stop! Stop it! Stop it! It's scaring me! Leave me alone! It's so loud!" Brian said as his being chases away with a vacuum cleaner called "Mr. Hoover".

As he barks like dogs do when they meet with a vacuum.

"Stop! Stop it! All right, OK, I'll study! I'll study!" Brian said as he gives in to Lois demand and return to study.

"I'll help you if you want." Lois said as she wish to help him study for the test.

"No thanks, Guys. There's only one person who can help me.' Brian said as he sets up a cutaway with him ends up exercising for hours with the help of Frank Jr and Stewie, parodying Rocky Balboa in the movie Rocky IV.

 **(Cutaway 9)**

We see Frank Jr and Brian working out with the song "Hearts on Fire" by John Cafferty playing. He jumps rope, cuts logs, carries a bag of rocks, stretching his head, ripping the photo of the college professor, and climbing on top of a snowy mountain.

 **John cafferty** _Heart's on fire  
Strong desire Rage deep within._

" _ **DRAGO!"**_ Brian shouted as He roars once he gets to the top.

"You know, the exam's in three hours" Stewie explained.

"Aw crap, all we've done is work out" Brian said.

"We should study" Frank Jr suggested.

"Right" Brian agreed.

 **(Cutaway 9 Ends)**

Now back to the living room with peter drink a beer as Lois comes in.

"You're not wearing your costume any more." Lois asked her husband on why isn't he wear his A-team costume anymore.

"Eh, What's the point? I thought I could help people with this A-Team thing, but it turns out I'm as useless as that nude Playboy spread of Debbie Gibson. It's like, She's naked, but who gives a shit?" peter said as he give up on helping people.

As briancomes down stairs in a hurry but realizes his test is only a few hours away.

Oh, my God, I overslept. My exam's in 20 minutes. Brian said as He becomes stressed at being late for his exam.

"Brian, you'll never make it. Unless there was some kind of team of people who could get you there in time. Peter, do you know anybody like that?" Lois persuades Peter to revive The A-Team one last time.

As peter gain a smile and he rushes upstairs to get his costume ready.

Then suddenly the new A-team is reborn and they drive Brian to his test.

They crash threw the gate of the college as student panic from see the A-Team van drive right through the campus.

"You may start your exam..." Steve said until the van drives right through where the chalkboard used to be, which the A-team was successful in their mission and Brian arrives on time.

Now. Steven said

The gang all looked on in joy as Brian allowed the gang to follow him to the school, though he would have to take the test in another room to be fair to the other students.

As Frank was with them patiently waited outside their door before looking left and right. Allowing a small amount of chakra manifest itself in his hand, he watched as a yellow circle appeared in his hand before closing it in a fist.

" _I can only hope this helps Brian relax and think clearly_." Frank thought to himself. It really wasn't too much to ask that he could.

Now we join the family waiting for Brian to come home. As the door opens to see a sad Brian walking in.

"Well, how'd you do?" Lois asked Brian on how well did he do in his test.

"I passed." Brian said, as he remains not proud of himself.

"Whoa? You passed?" Frank said, as he looks shocke on how much power he used in relaxing Brian in the exam.

"Yep." Brian said in a sad tone as the family notice Brian's sad expression.

"What are you not smiling for moment?" Peter asked him about his mood.

"Because I didn't took it all the way. Something inside me did not make me give up on myself, and I feel that did not cheat but something else tells me that I did. Brian said as for he feels that he cheating, much to the dismay of the family.

"You probably should have listen to that first feeling." Peter said as Brian gain a shocked look.

"Yeah bt why." Brian asked them on why

"You been better off." Meg said as she tells him that he probably should take this as a blessing.

"What were you thinking that this is bad?" Persephone asked Brian why is it to feel bad that he gain little help in his time of need.

"Does not matter how it turned out. Somebody made me finished what I started, which means I don't have my pride in my work, and that's something." Brian reassure them that he should have finished what he started. But he labels his pride not that 'something', but the Griffins continue to berate him.

"No, it's not." Frank said as he tells him that he didn't on his own.

"Are you out of your mind? You won Brian!" Meg said as she explains that Brian had won.

"I don't understand." Brian said as he feel cornered.

"You're not a loser anymore." Frank Jr said as they cheer him up.

As the scene ends with someone watching them through the window.

 **Chapter end**

 **I hope everyone enjoyed! This is thanking for pen123 and Family Guy Fan writer 15, Thank you all for cutaways, scenes, favoring, having me on alerts and with that. So enjoy and see you next chapter.**


	17. Chapter 66:The Courtship of Stewie's Dad

**Chapter 66: The Courtship of Stewie's Father**

 **Narrator** _  
_ _Fresh out the net box  
Stop, look, and watch  
Ready yet, get set  
It's Family Guy!_

We see paparazzi taking photos of the cast as they come out of the limo and they walk on the red carpet.

 **Chorus:**

 _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

First it show Frank waling out of the limo with a poster with the words "oh" and he poses for the camera.

Then its shows Meg comes in looking all sexy as she signs autographs while she winks at the fans.

Then it turn to Lois comes in hopping while grabbing rose as she gives a kiss toward the fans.

 **Chorus:**

 _Check it, check it, check it  
Now this is just an introduction  
Before I blow your mind  
The show is All of That and yes we do it all the time_

Then it shows Frank Jr poses as he pull his hat down his chest as he throws a rose to the Fans.

Then next person to show up on the carpet is Stewie. As he flips his hat back to his head while he give autographs to fans.

Then Brian comes in sliding on the red carpet as he waves at the fan as he walks in _._

 **Chorus:**

 _So sit your booty on the floor or in a chair  
Ground or in the air  
Just don't go nowhere_

Then Emily comes in give autographs as she smiles at the fans as she tells one of her fans to call her.

Then the scene shows Persephone puts a rose on her mouth with a sexy angry look on her face.

 **Chorus:**

 _Cause everything we do  
It's all of that!  
When entertaining you  
We all of that!_

Then Chris shimming down the carp as he gives the fan a shout out.

Then Peter slide towards the carpet as he flips his hat back on his head.

 **Chorus:**

 _My posse and my crew  
It's all of that!  
So sit still cause we're coming right back_

Then the scene shows John throws a rose at his fans.

As the scene, changes to Tyler puts on rose his mouth as he gives everyone thumbs up.

 **Chorus:** _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

Then scene change to the Family Guy MC Cast walks down the stairs as they take a group photo while looking gangsters of the 80. All this while music ends as the scene fades to black.

Now we join Brian in the living room with John and Tyler as they watch TV until Frank Jr and Stewie arrive on the scene.

"I am so bored." Frank Jr said as he drag his t-rex doll with Stewie agree with him.

"Hey Dog, When you take a break from your lipstick, how about taking me to the park?" Stewie said insult Brian about licking his junk and asking him to take him to the park.

"My lipstick? What? (Chuckle) .Oh, Right. Right. Right, because of my penis. Yeah, that's fantastic.' Brian said as he gets the insult.

Which caused John and Tyler to get grossed out.

"Ewww!" John and Tyler said in disgust.

As Stewie walk up to Lois while she is clean the furnisher.

"Lois, Brian won't take me to the park. Then he talked about his ding-dong." Stewie said tells on Brian to Lois but she doesn't listen.

"Lois. Lois. Dammit, woman, pay attention to me." Stewie said as he grab her pants and caused her to trip on the floor.

Which caused her pain plus made John and Tyler jump into action.

"Stewie, that's not nice. Don't grab Mommy's pants like that. You could really hurt her." Lois said as she complain to her son about cause her pain.

"Yes, I could, couldn't I? I could hurt Mommy. Shame on us, Rupert. How dare we succumb to boredom while she continues to breathe? She must be destroyed. With Lois out of the way, I could focus on my life's ambition of taking pictures of Madison County." Stewie said as he set up a cutaway about his life's ambition of taking pictures of Madison County

 **Cutaway**

Stewie takes pictures at Madison Country. A woman approaches him.

"Let's go back and take a bath" she said.

"Yeah. How about you go back and take a bath?" Stewie asked back.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join ourselves at the Pawtucket Brewery as peter was on his computer until Angela, his boss came into his office.

"Griffin, Have you filed those reports yet?" Angle asked peter if he filed his reports yet

"Angela, come here. Check this out. Look at what this chick is doing to this polar bear." Peter said as he and Angela are watching a video.

"Wait. Wait. It's Wait. Wait. Wait, it's coming up." Peter said as they wait for the disgusting scene to appear.

As he laughs at the scene which disgust Angela until Frank walks in with Peter's mentally challenged co-worker, Opie.

"Ah, there you are, Frank. Congratulations. You made employee of the month again." Angela said as she puts up his picture in the hall of employee of the month.

"Sweety!" Frank said as he and Opie did their secret hand shake.

"How come I'm never employee of the month? It's the worst job since the Sand People choir." Peter said as he gets annoyed because he never gets Employee of the Month at the Pawtucket Brewery. While he sets up a cutaway about his job as the Sand People choir conductor.

 **Cutaway**

"And a one and a two" Peter conducts as all the sand people started gibbering.

"No, no, no, no! The altos were early. This is the worst glee club I've ever... Come on. Where are you going?" Peter whined as Obi-Wan Kenobi arrived.

"Relax. The Sand People frighten easily but they'll be back. And in greater numbers" he explained.

"Well, that'll give us a richer harmony" Peter smiled.

"Oh, yeah. No, it's gonna sound fantastic" Obi-Wan agreed.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we are back to the Mallque/griffin house as Lois is going to the basement to clean her laundry.

That when we spot Stewie with a hover drill craft closing in to Lois until John and Tyler arrive to take Lois away from her doom.

This cause Stewie drill craft to be stuck on the wall while the drill spin him around without stop.

"Help! Somebody! I'm blacking out!" Stewie scream from being hit on the floor while still spinning.

As Brian comes in with Frank Jr to see a spin Stewie in pain.

"Brian, help me!" Stewie scream for Brian to help from being hit on the floor while still spinning.

While Frank Jr went up stair to get the thing to stop the craft while Brian went to get a beer and some coins.

While Brian wait for Frank Jr, he flips some coin at the spinning Stewie.

Now we join Peter at the drunken clam as he mopes about his day.

"That jerk son in law of mine, Frank got employee of the month again because my boss hates me." Peter said as he gets annoyed because he never gets Employee of the Month at the Pawtucket Brewery.

It always goes to his co-worker aka Son-law, Frank, and he thinks it is because his supervisor, Angela, hates him.

"Maybe you need to brown-nose her a little bit, Peter." Joe suggests that he kisses up to her.

"Really? I thought you said she was ugly. Oh, you mean kiss up to her." Quagmire said as he question Joe suggestion with another sexually innuendo.

"That's a great idea, Joe." Peter said as he agree with Joe's idea.

"If that doesn't do it, work hard and be polite. That's how I won friends when I worked for E!" Cleveland said as he set up a cutaway about himself worked for E!

 **Cutaway**

"Seabiscuit! Seabiscuit! Would you mind talking to E!?" Cleveland asked as he works for E!

As he speaking to Penélope Cruz He actually thinks she is Seabiscuit.

"I'm not Seabiscuit. I'm Penelope Cruz" Penelope arrived.

"And you're just lovely. Would you like a carrot?" Cleveland offered a carrot to the celebrity as she eats it like a horse.

As Penelope Cruz munching on her carrot while Cleveland pets her on the head.

"Good girl" Cleveland said.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the drunken clam with the gang.

"Brown-nose? All right. I'll do something special for her." Peter said as he had plans for his boss.

When Angela comes home, she spots Peter near her front door with flowers.

Surprise! Peter shouted at Angela.

Griffin! What the hell are you doing at my house? Angela

"I asked around and everybody said you liked animals, so I organized a surprise cockfight." Peter said as after hearing that she likes animals Peter organizes a surprise cockfight in her house when she's away.

As they enter Angela's home, all that remains of the chickens is a mess of blood and feathers. Which cause Angela to look shocked at what happened to her living room.

"Oh, boy." Peter said as he feel guilty for what happened.

"Oh, God. Well, it looks like they killed each other. That was probably what all that racket was about an hour ago. Well, I will see you Monday." Peter said as he leaves Angela alone with all this mess in her house.

Now we join Chris and friends playing baseball in the street with John and Tyler doing commentary until Chris breaks neighbor Herbert's window with a baseball.

"Oh, crap." Chris said as all the kids cheese it out there.

As we join Herbert at his house as he notice the ball that broke his window.

"Well, looks like the good Lord just sent me a conversation starter." Herbert said as he gets an idea.

"Come here, Jesse. Come get the ball." Herbert said as he calls out his dog named Jesse.

As Jesse is dog who paralyzed from the waist down and strongly resembles Herbert. He grabs the ball and gives it to Herbert as Herbert looks out at the broken window.

"Hmm!" Herbert hums about boys,

"Mmm!" Jesse hums about boys too.

"Mmm!" Herbert hums again as they share identical hums and physical disabilities.

As we join Lois, Meg and Emily at the quahog daycare having a meeting with the preschool teacher. While Frank Jr playing Pattie cake with a long black hair girl.

 **Frank and Girl sang**

 _Down by the shores of the hanky-panky_

 _Where the bullfrogs leap from bank to banky_

Until Stewie slap and pushes away which made the girl Scream

"Hahahha! How unfortunate." Stewie said as he laughs at her misfortune and Frank Jr just gives him an anger stair.

"What?" Stewie asked Frank Jr but Frank Jr ignore him.

As Frank Jr walks away from Stewie to help the little girl that he push.

Now we join ourselves at meeting with the preschool teacher.

"Ms. Hobson, Stewie and Frank Jr's really been acting out a lot at home?" Lois asked as she is concerned about Stewie's behavior

"And I was just wondering, how's are they been behaving at school?" Meg asked the teacher about how Frank Jr and Stewie been behaving at school!

"Hmm, Mrs. Griffins, let me show you some pictures that the boys drew in class." Ms. Hobson said as she passes some picture that they drew in class.

They look at the picture of stewie stabbing Lois in the back which shocked Emily.

Next they saw a picture of Frank Jr Turing super saiyan after see the dead bodies of his family.

The next picture was of stewie hold Lois's head on his left hand while he hold her body with the right one.

The next picture was of Frank Jr team up with characters of the Family Guy OC Universe facing against Bart Simpson.

The last picture was of stewie roasting Lois's dead body like a pig on a stick.

"Notice anything unusual?" Ms. Hobson asked them as she notices the baby's anti-social ways, Frank Jr's drawings are about his future and while Stewie's drawings depicting ways to kill his mother Lois.

"I sure do. Steiwe's father who is also Frank Jr's Grandfather is not in any of them." Lois said as she realizes that peter was in the pictures.

"Exactly." Ms. Hobson said in response to Lois answer.

"Well, Peter's been preoccupied with work lately. I guess Stewie's been missing his father." Lois said as she realizes Stewie spends not enough time with his father Peter.

"That also means that Frank Jr miss hanging around with is grandpa. Thank you for letting us know." Meg said as she and Lois thank the teacher for letting them know was wrong.

As Stewie had attempted to kill Lois once again with a crossbow, but Lois unknowingly got out of the way, and hit Ms. Hobson, killing her.

"Damn! She moved." Stewie shouted about missing his kill shot until Frank Jr knocks him out.

"Well, I suppose it's not the first time someone's made a miscalculation." Frank Jr said as he sets up a cutaway about someone's made a miscalculation.

 **Cutaway**

We see a scene from Back to the Future.

"What happens to us in the future, Doc?" Marty asked.

"It's your kids, Marty. Something's gotta be done about your kids" Dr. Brown answered.

"What do you mean?" Marty wondered.

"Your daughter marries a black man" Dr. Brown answered.

"That's actually not a big deal for me" Marty said.

"Yeah, me neither" Claudia agreed.

"Well, it... Well, it... You... Really?" Dr. Brown agreed.

"Yeah. I mean, what's wrong with that?" Marty wondered.

"No, no, nothing, nothing. It's nothing, I guess. I think it's great. Congratulations" Dr. Brown said.

"I don't think I'm comfortable around you anymore" Marty warned.

"Did you know peanut butter was invented by a black man?" Dr. Brown asked.

"Too late, Doc" Marty added as McFly realizes it would be better if he did not hang out with Doc anymore.

 **Cutaway Ends**

As we now join the family at the living room of the Mallque/Griffin house until they hear the doorbell ring.

As Lois answers the door and it reveals to be Herbert.

Oh, Hi, Herbert. What brings you here? Lois asked Herbert on why he is here.

"It seems your son's baseball broke one of my windows the other day." Herbert

Oh, my God. I am so sorry. Chris, this is gonna come out of your allowance. Lois

"Ohh!" Chris groans.

Perhaps we could work something out. I could use a strapping young man to do some chores around my house. Herbert

"That seems fair to me. You have damaged this man's property. Until you pay off the debt, you'll do whatever job he wants you to. At the end of the day, if you're exhausted and your face is wet, it means you did a good job." Peter makes Chris do chores for Herbert.

"That sounds fine." Herbert said as he is fine with this suggestions and he leaves.

"I don't want to spend my weekend doing chores." Chris said as he doesn't want to do this.

As Frank decide to give Chris some advice about hard work.

"You know, Chris, a little hard work can do wonders. Just look at how they built the pyramids." Frank said as he sets up a cutaway about the Jews built the pyramids

 **Cutaway**

We see the people in ancient Egypt building the pyramids.

"They say all peoples must go through some hard times" pyramid builder 1 said.

"Well, we Jews are getting ours out of the way early. From here on out, it's gonna be nothing but smooth sailing" pyramid builder 2 added.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the brewery as Angela come in with big news.

"I have an announcement to make." Angela said as she give announcement until peter interrupts her.

"Don't you do it? Don't lose a single pound. I don't care what Hollywood image-makers say. Big women are sexy." Peter said as he thinks that Angela is losing weight.

Until Angela correct him.

"I wanted to tell you Frank will not be receiving employee of the month. He's being promoted." Angela said as she announces that Frank being promoted

Yes! That means I'm employee of the month. Peter said as he cheers for his time to shine until Angela bust his balls.

"No, you're not, Griffin. I'm giving it to Soundwave." Angela said as she announce that Soundwave is getting the award.

It is revealed that Soundwave works at the Pawtucket Brewery after Frank's promotion allows him to take his place.

"So I can just put my stuff anywhere?" Soundwave said as he puts his things in his new desk which shows picture of himself with his human wife named and has three kids.

"My wife, Denise. We met in a Christian chat room." Soundwave said as he explains that he has a human wife named Denise, and has three kids with her.

Now we are back at the Mallque/Griffin house at night at the living room as we join Chris sitting in the couch with Emily watching TV while Lois watch the babies were playing with trains. That's when Peter came into the living room.

"Peter we need to talk about your son." Lois asked him about his son but which one.

"The fat one or the funny-looking one"? Peter asked about which son, The fat one(Chris) or the funny-looking one (Stewie)?

"Ha! Ha! Dad called you fat! Wait a second…" Chris said as he laughs at the joke until he realized that peter insult him and Stewie.

"Dad, both Frank Jr and Stewie's been acting out. I think it's cos they're not spending time with you. It's time you take an interest." Meg said as she tell him about their problem.

"Plus dad, I haven't spent time with you either? I need to know who you are, to know who I am in this family." Emily said as she wants to join this to spend time with her father for once.

"Starting today, I want you to spend more time with Emily, Frank Jr and Stewie." Lois suggests Peter to spend some time bonding with both his oldest daughter, his son and his grandson.

"OK." Peter said as he leave the room and return with a box.

"You can make a box fort. See? Here's a box. You can pretend it's a fort." Peter explains about the box and uses of it.

This made Frank Jr excited about the box as he enter in it.

"Actually, that sounds like fun. I want this. I'm king in here." Frank Jr said as he used his imagination to be king of the box.

"Frank Jr, maybe Grandpa and Stewie would like to play fort too." Lois asked Frank Jr if he will play with Peter and Stewie.

"No. If you need me, I'll be in space." Frank Jr shouted back answer no as he walks away with the box and he uses it like a space ship.

Now we join Peter, Emily and Brian with the duo of John and Tyler plus Frank Jr takes Stewie to a Red Sox game at Fenway Park.

"Great idea bringing Stewie and Frank Jr here, Peter." Brian said as he likes this idea

"There's no better place for a father, son and grandson to get to know each other than a ball game." Peter said as he explains there's no better place for a father, son and grandson to get to know each other than a ball game.

"Where is Stewie?" Frank Jr asked them on where is Stewie.

As Emily freaks because she know where stewie is and runs of the stadium.

As we join stewie still inside the car while he breaths heavenly because the car was heating up.

"Is that a baby in there?" Women asked her boyfriend about Stewie inside the car.

"Oh, my God. He's gonna miss the game." Her boyfriend said his response as they walk away.

As Emily arrive with the keys to get Stewie out of the car.

Now we join the gang at the drunken clam plus Emily holding both Frank Jr and Stewie as they tell stories.

"Hey, remember those hot homeless twins who live under the overpass? Last night …" Quagmire said as he explain with his obscene gestures in his story of how he had sex with the hot homeless twins.

"Wait, Quagmire. Let me cover Frank Jr and Stewie's ears." Peter said as he cover both his kids' ears.

As Quagmire explain what he did to the woman as he used predator hands, then he use his left hand to get something from a jar.

Then he does a looking around a bush suggestion.

Then Quagmire put someone in a hold then fist her in the butt.

Then he puts his left leg around his head and takes it down.

Then Quagmire point at his Wang, then he falls back word that puts his leg around his head again, then he spins around in that position.

Quagmire then spanks his butt, then he is pumping her and then he look like he is swing, then he grabs a plunger and used it to pump the butter.

Quagmire then wiggles the handled and went back to his seat. That's when Peter uncover both his babies' ears.

"And this is the hand that caused all the trouble. Got your nose, little guy." Quagmire said as he play the game take his nose.

"Aaaawaaaaw!" Stewie scream from what he did.

Now we are back at the Mallque /Griffin house Kitchen with Frank and Peter sitting as Meg and Lois come in with their babies.

"Peter, did you take Frank Jr and Stewie to a strip club? They smells like sweat and fear." Lois asked in anger tone about Stewie and Frank Jr being in strip club.

"Ughh, let me tell you Tuesday afternoon is not exactly their "A" squad. I actually saw bullet wounds." Stewie said as he saw some crazy stuff in strip club.

"You can't just take him places you want to go. He's a baby." Meg said as she and Lois did like that.

"I think I know how to spend time with my own kid, all right? The bond between a father and son is sacred." Peter said as he set up a cutaway about the sacred bond between a father and son.

 **Cutaway**

"I'm sorry, Jesus. But my house, my rules" Joseph ordered.

"Up yours, Joseph. You're not my real dad" Jesus angrily left to call God on the phone.

"Hello?" God answered.

"Hey, Dad, it's me. Listen, things here aren't working out anymore. And I was just... I was wondering, can I come live with you and Janet for a while?" Jesus asked.

"Oh, wow, kiddo. You know, I'd love that, but I don't know if now is the best time. Maybe next year, okay? I'll see you Friday night. Tell your mother I sent the check" God hangs up the phone. "So, where were we?"

"Right about here" Janet said as she takes out a condom.

"Aw come on baby! It's my birthday!" God pleaded to put the condom away.

"No!" Janet refused.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Back to the kitchen with Frank and Peter argue with their wives.

"All I'm saying is that you just need to find an activity that you and Stewie can share. Peter, can you reach that box of rice?" Lois said as she asked Peter for help on something in the kitchen.

While peter helping Lois in the kitchen he accidentally knocks a box off a high shelf in the kitchen, hitting Lois in the head.

"Ow." Lois shouted in pain.

"Sorry, Lois." Peter said as the hit in the head causing Stewie to laugh hysterically.

"Ahahahaha! That rice got you, bitch." Stewie said as he cheer on peter to do it again.

"He's laughing." Peter quickly realizes that Stewie enjoys seeing him hurt Lois.

"You think that's funny? You like that? Lois, you want some beans with that rice?" Peter said as he then hit her with a jar.

"Ow." Lois shouted in pain.

"I misjudged you, fat man." Stewie said as he begins to bond with peter.

"Dammit. Peter, what's wrong with you?" Lois asked as she rise off the table form her attacks.

But Peter interrupts her and he continues.

"Wait, Lois, don't move. Stewie's loving this." Peter said after him striking her with larger boxes.

"Ow." Lois shouted in pain and she fainted on the floor.

As he seeing Stewie's delight but it went bad when John and Tyler came in.

"See if she's got any cash on her." Stewie said as it piss off the duo which cause Stewie to run off the kitchen.

This event prompts more vicious pranks on Lois, as we join Peter with the two talking babies walking up stairs with a hose and camera.

"OK, Stewie. Get the camera ready." Peter said as he opens the door slowing and we see Lois in the toilet.

As they spraying her with a water hose while she is in the bathroom

"Peter, stop it. What the hell are you doing?" Lois shouted at peter as she tries to avoid being spray by water.

"What do you think I'm doing? I'm bonding with Frank Jr and Stewie." Peter said as he continues spraying his wife while Stewie and Frank Jr snap shot her with their cameras.

As they laughs as they push her out of the bathroom and she cries until she fell on the hallway.

"There is nothing more precious than a baby's laughter." Peter said as he enjoy bonding with his kids.

But it culminating with an incident where Peter, Frank Jr and Stewie pushes her into the cargo area of the station wagon before driving it into the lake and they all laugh together.

Then they laugh while they signal a car to get themselves home.

Then we see them at a burger restaurant eating and they were still laughing.

Now we see Peter, Frank Jr and Stewie still laughing in the couch of the living room, as they laughter fade and they calm down.

"Jeez, I hope she can get out." Frank Jr asked his family if Lois was okay as they enter home.

"No, I'm sure she'll be fine." Stewie said as he told Frank Jr not too worried about it.

Now we join Chris plus John and Tyler at Herbert house as Chris rings the doorbell.

Well, hello there, young man. I was starting to think you weren't coming. Also I see that you brought some handsome friends of yours. Herbert

"Sorry I'm late, Mr. Herbert. Well, I guess I'll get started. Chris said as he and the boy were about to get started.

"You know, if you get sweaty and want to take your shirt off, that'd be just fine. Or tie it in a knot. Your choice." Herbert said something perverted which signal alarms in John and Tyler.

The duo decide to keep an eye on this old man.

Now back to the living room with Peter with Frank Jr and Stewie, they enjoy their bonding time and Stewie even begins to dress just like Peter. But Frank Jr makes it better with him wearing glasses.

Now we see them watching channel 5 news on TV with Tom Tucker and Diana Simmons.

"We go live to Ollie Williams in the Channel 5 traffic copter. What's the scene, Ollie?" Tom tucker asked Ollie on what the scene.

As we see Ollie on the channel 5 traffic copter looking at the city.

"Everybody looks like ants." Ollie shouted from the copter while looking at the camera.

"Probably cos you're up so high. Coming up next, an interview with Andrew Shue". Tom tucker said as he done with his report.

Now we join Peter, Frank Jr and Stewie back in the couch.

"Hey, Hey, Dad. Pull my finger." Stewie asked peter to pull his finger.

As Peter pulls his finger while Stewie tries to fart.

"Wait." Stewie said as he made a fart that squeaky.

"Sounded like a peeptoad, but it's not summer." Frank Jr said as he made joke about Stewie's joke.

Later, a furious Lois returns home and she scared both Frank Jr and Emily out of the room.

"Hey Drippy, you're back. What's for dinner?" Peter said as he asked an angry Lois what's for dinner.

But that made Lois even more piss off.

"PETER, WHEN I SAID BOND WITH STEWIE THIS IS NOT WHAT I HAD IN MIND! I AM FURIOUS WITH YOU!" Lois shouted as she demands an explanation from Peter.

"You can't talk to him like that. Take that." Stewie said as he hit Lois in the legs which was cute.

"Stewie, you're going to your room." Lois said as she sending Stewie to his room

"I think not. Dad's got my back." Stewie said as he asked peter for help.

"She looks mad. You better go to your room." Peter said as he fails to win his argument and he realizes he went too far

"What's the matter with you, fat man? Stop her. Help me, you fool. You traitor. I trusted you, but you're a wuss." Stewie said as he feels betrayed as Lois take him up stairs.

As peter feels bad for not helping his son and Frank Jr spots this.

"Aw, don't feel bad Grandpa. Hey, I know what will cheer you up." Frank Jr said as he bump Brian elbow so he can to the thing.

"Ehh, I don't think I'm in the mood." Peter said as he know what Brian going to get

"Are you sure?" Brian said as he got a boom box with the thing.

So Brian and Frank Jr dresses up in a banana suits and they sings the song to cheer him up.

 **Brian**

 _It's peanut butter jelly time, peanut butter jelly time, peanut butter jelly time_

As Frank Jr shakes maracas while he moves side to side with Brian and Frank see it.

 **Frank Jr**

 _Where he at_

 _Where he at_

 _Where he at_

 _Where he at_

 _Now there he go_

 _There he go_

 _There he go_

 _There he go_

As Emily comes down stairs with a camera to film this event and she love every minutes.

 **Brian and Frank Jr**

 _Peanut butter jelly_

 _Peanut butter jelly_

 _Peanut butter jelly_

 _Peanut butter jelly_

"Sorry Brian, It's just not doing it today." Peter said as he walks away and their attempt fails.

However John and Tyler dresses up in a banana suit and join Brian sings the song to cheer him up.

 **Brian, Frank Jr, John and Tyler**

 _Do the peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly_

 _Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat_

 _Peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly_

 _Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat_

As we join Stewie in his room burring the peter clothes and books. While peter was next to his son door knocking it.

"Stewie, got a minute for your daddy?" Peter asked Stewie if he have a minute for him.

"Get out of here, you spineless oaf. And by the way, I faked all those bowel movements." Stewie said as he refuses to talk to his father.

"I feel awful. Aww, things were going so good for me and Stewie, but now he hates me again. Brian what should I do to win him back?" Peter said to Brian about his problem.

"That depends. Do you want my advice or are you just asking random questions again?" Brian:

"What's a hypotenuse?" Peter asked him what's a hypotenuse which cause Frank walk away.

So Frank Jr tells Peter to make amends with Stewie by using Brian's advice. Peter takes him, Frank Jr and Emily to Walt Disney World Resort in Florida but not tells them while they drive in Florida.

"Stewie, I know you're a little mad at me right now, but when you see where I'm taking you, your gonna change your mind." Peter said as he get excited as he drives.

"Oh yeah right when I change my mind." Stewie said sarcastically.

"Don't feel bad Stewie, where ever he's taking to, we're sure it's something worth taking Delta Air Lines." Emily said as she feels that peter was taking them somewhere fun.

"Really Emily? We just sat on a plane for 3 hours to come to Florida, God's waiting room, for who knows what..." Stewie said as he complains about them arriving.

Until He, Frank Jr and Emily spots a sign reading "Disney World 5 miles" which caused the babies to bounce around the car.

"...Oh Disney World! Disney World, Disney World! I...I wanna go to Disney World! Disney World, Disah-ah-ah-ah!" Frank Jr and Stewie Excited at the prospect of visiting Disney World as they stuck at each side of peter's face and Stewie relaxes while they take their seats.

As Stewie forgives Peter and Frank Jr is still jumping in his seat.

"I'm still mad at you." Stewie said as he went back to pouting although pretending to be annoyed.

"You're taking us to 'Walt Disney World Resort'?! Oh thank you Dad! I knew it's worth taking Delta!" Emily said as she hug peter

Cuts to the theme park where we see Peter, Stewie and Emily walking past some attractions including the "Disney Stock Slide".

"Hey, check it out, Halle Berry's Wild Ride." Peter said as his point out a parody of Mr. Toad's wide ride.

"Um Dad, first off, are you sure about this? I mean a ride like that would probably get us killed, and second, isn't that a bit racist?" Emily said as she feels that this ride will kill them and it's a bit racist.

"Oh relax Emily, what's the worst that can happen?" Peter said as he threw caution to the wind.

Halle drove rapidly forward and accidentally ran over some guests and then stopped and then Halle ran out of her car.

"You just had to say it, didn't you?" Emily said ironically.

Now we cuts to "Captain EO" where Peter, Frank Jr, Stewie and Emily were watching Michael Jackson dancing while they're wearing 3D glasses.

Wow, it's like Michael Jackson's coming right at me! Boy said as he watch the show.

Michael Jackson then suddenly came out of the screen and grabbed the boy with him and ran out.

"Okay… I didn't see that one coming." Emily said as to what she just saw in horror.

Now we join Peter, Frank Jr, Emily and Stewie inside the Disney store look for t-shirts to buy.

"We've been puttering around this fat farm for hours. I've had enough." Stewie said as he leave the store.

Hey, Stewie, They got… Emily said as she turn around to give him a t-shirt until she notice Stewie wasn't there?

Stewie? Oh, my God, he's gone. Emily shouted in panic which alerted Frank Jr and Peter.

"Has anyone seen my son? Hello?" Peter shouted for someone to help them find Stewie.

"Hey, it's the crows from Dumbo." Frank Jr said as he spot the crow from his favorite movie, Dumbo.

As they walk toward the crows on the stack of t-shirts.

"Hey, you guys seen my son?" Peter asked the crows.

"Well, I done seen about everything, but I sure enough ain't seen your boy, no how." The Jim Crows said as they respond in a stereotypical way.

"That's good old-fashioned family racism." Emily said as she comments on the racism.

Stewie wanders off and he finds a map where he finds inside "It's a tiny, tiny world" ride.

"Well, well. A lost child. Looks like we've got a new recruit."Security guard said as Stewie then captured by the security guards.

As Security guard chains Stewie, who is in a Dutch costume and takes him to it's a tiny world ride.

"Now sing!" Security Guard commanded him sing.

As "It's a tiny, tiny world" is an attraction where they make him sing.

"I shall do no such thing!" Stewie said in refusal.

"You must sing! If you don't, they'll make you do a Christmas movie with Tim Allen!" Dutch prisoner boy said as he explain that they have to complying to do so after learning that the alternative is to be in a Christmas movie with Tim Allen.

 **Stewie** _It's a tiny tiny word, it's a tiny tiny world..._

As Stewie and the other slave children are forced to sing at the Tiny World ride.

Now we are back to the living room of the Mallque/Griffin house with the griffin twins with Frank and Lois on the couch.

"Is Chris, John and Tyler are still doing chores for that disgusting man?" Meg asked Lois if the trio still work for Herbert the pervert.

"Yeah that old guy is nasty look!" Persephone said in agreement about the old man.

Which then shocked Lois of her daughter's behavior.

"Meg and Persephone, that's not nice. Old people have a lot to offer society." Lois said as she tells her daughters about Old people have a lot to offer society.

"Just look at Kim Cattrall." Frank said as he set up a cutaway about Kim Cattrall and her take on offering to society.

 **Cutaway**

We see Kim Cattrall flirting with a man.

"Come and get it, big boy" Kim said as she moves her legs, but metal sounds are made. "Oh, damn. There we go" she puts on oil on her body. The man jumps on top of her, but her body breaks into pieces.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join ourselves at the Quahog Supper Club as Herbert takes Chris, John and Tyler to dinner at this fine restaurant.

"Thanks for buying dinner, Mr. Herbert." Chris said his thanks for buying dinner with John and Tyler nodded in agreement.

"Oh, I wanted to thank you three properly for all your hard work." Herbert said as he wanted to thank them for all their hard work.

"Souvenir photograph?" photographer asked them if he takes their photograph

"Hell, yes." Herbert said as the photographer takes their photograph.

At that point, as he stares at the phot of him and the boys, he fantasizes about life with Chris.

That's when John and Tyler pause the scene.

Look, if we are doing this scene, we are doing right! John explain that they are change clip with something new.

"Herbert, He is a lonely man who is nearing the end of his life without ever having a meaningful relationship, and believing he's on the cusp of Chris filling that long-standing void. But that not gonna happened here in this story, since the author doesn't like perverts!" Tyler said as they went into the back were the people who put the clips for the episode.

Tyler gave the video editor a remaster of the song parody and told him to roll it.

No we see Amy fills the role of Audrey, and the song was his attempt to paint herself as a sympathetic character.

While Herbert sings glowingly about Chris, in the same manner as Audrey did about Seymour in the original.

A series of clips, with Amy cast as Audrey and Chris as Seymour, and played out in similar fashion as in _Little Shop of Horrors_ accompany the song.

 **Herbert**

 _He rakes and trims the grass,_

 _He loves to mow and weed,_

As we see Chris moving the grass in his front yard while Amy look through the window.

 **Herbert**

 _I cook like Betty Crocker,_

 _And I look like Donna Reed._

As we see Amy dusting her living room, the couch was cover in plastic and she uses Pine-sol scented air fresher to make the room smell nice

 **Herbert**

 _There's plastic on the furniture_

 _To keep it neat and clean,_

 _In the Pine-Sol scented air,_

 _Somewhere that's green._

In his fantasy family, he and Chris have two children, a boy who resembles Chris, and a girl who resembles Herbert. Chris and Amy eat frozen dinners on the couch while the kids lay on the carpet while they watch Lucy in their 12-inch TV.

 **Herbert**

 _Between our frozen dinners_

 _And our bedtime, 9:15,_

 _We snuggle watching Lucy_

 _On our big, enormous 12-inch screen._

The next scene show two children who look just like Amy and Chris playing in their room. As Chris close the door nodding his head to his wife who looks like Amy walker from OC Universe.

 **Herbert**

 _I'm his December bride,_

 _Chris Griffin, he knows best._

 _The kids play Howdy-Doody,_

 _As the sun sets in the west._

As we see Chris and Amy sleeping in separate beds in their bed room while Amy kiss Chris goodnight. The scene change into a picture out of "Better Homes and Gardens Magazine."

 **Herbert**

 _The picture out of "Better Homes_

 _And Gardens Magazine,"_

The scene changes to the magazine closes, to reveal Herbert singing the last part while dress like Audrey as the song ends with him.

 **Herbert**

 _Someday I know,_

 _We too will go,_

 _Somewhere that's green._

As the scene ends to reveal that he falls asleep at the table after the song ends.

Are you dead? Chris asked Herbert who is still asleep.

Now we return to Stewie at Disney world as he was held up as a slave for "It's a tiny tiny world"

 **Stewie and Other Kids**

 _It's a tiny tiny world_

 _It's a tiny tiny world_

 _It's a tiny tiny world_

 _It's a tiny tiny world_

 _It's a tiny tiny world_

As Stewie then noticed his half-sister Emily and his nephew Frank Jr on the ride.

"I say Emily, get me out of here!" Stewie shout at her to notice him.

As Emily then notice Stewie and she and Frank Jr run up to him.

"Oh, Stewie, there you are. Thank God. Why are you dressed like Rerun?" Frank Jr said as he asked why Stewie look like rerun.

"Stewie? Oh thank god we found you, what are you doing here and why are you dressed up a Dutch kid?" Emily said as she is happy to see her little brother while she question on why he looks like a Dutch kid.

Then it cuts to the outside of the ride's building where you see all the kids running out free while Frank Jr, Emily and Stewie stopped outside the doorway.

"YEEEEAH." All the kids cheering for their freedom.

"You're free, children. Run back to your individual countries of origin." Frank Jr shouted at the kid to go home.

"That's it kids, run! Run back home to your parents, be free!" Emily shouted as her release the kids.

"Hey!" Security Guard shouted at the trio.

As Frank Jr, Emily and Stewie both run away from the bad guys.

"Those multicultural slave children belong to the Disney Corporation. Get her Achmed!" Security Guard shouted at the trio as he called out another Security Guard.

Then a security guard who is Indian with a beard and wears a turban called Achmed chases down Frank Jr, Stewie and Emily.

"You numskulls should realize that slavery's illegal since 1865, and this multicultural child is my BROTHER!" Emily shouted back at the Security Guard about realizing that slavery's illegal since 1865.

"Yeah you jackass!" Frank Jr shouted in agreement as they ran.

As they ran away from the security guards both Frank Jr and Emily then noticed Peter.

"Grandpa/Dad!" Emily and Frank Jr shouted at peter as they ran up to him.

"Emily! And you found Stewie! Where was he?" Peter asked them where they found Stewie.

"No time to explain, RUN!" Emily said as she and Stewie ran away.

"From what?" Peter asked them on why they are running away from.

"From, Achmed!" Frank Jr said as he points at Achmed while he drag peter with them.

As Frank Jr and Peter then follows Stewie and Emily and then looks back and noticed that Indian security guard.

"Oh, from him... Uh... uh... Hey look over there, there's a woman learning!" Peter said something to distract the guard.

While Achmed stops and looks back falling for Peter's distraction.

As they stop at the Disney store to hide until they notice the hats on the racks.

Then Achmed pass them as we noticing Frank Jr and Peter dressed as Indiana Jones, Emily and Stewie as Short Round.

As they ran near to a ride Frank Jr notice it and he called out to his family.

"Quick, in here." Frank Jr said as they enter the Indiana jones the ride as Achmed catches up top them in the cave.

The gang was chased by a turban-wearing guard named Ahmed through a mineshaft. They manage to lose by throw a shove in the train tracts which caused Achmed to fall to his death.

They all look happy to escape that guy as they leave the ride at the exit.

"Looks like we're in the clear." Frank Jr said until they brief encounter with Michael Eisner.

"Michael Eisner." Peter said in shocked

"Cover your heart." Stewie shouted as he know what going on.

"Kali Ma! Kali Ma! Kali Ma!"Eisnerreciting Mola Ram's heart-stealing chant to steal Peter's heart.

"You betrayed the shareholders!" Peter said as he push him off a cliff.

As Eisner falls down a cliff by the Jungle Cruise and is ripped apart by crocodiles.

"You think he's dead?" Emily asked if Eisner was okay.

"Nah, Nah, he'll be on his feet in no time. Probably follow Jonathan Dolgen's footsteps, wind up with a POD deal at Touchstone." Frank Jr said as he explain he be fine.

"Are you all right, kids?" Peter asked his kids if they are alright.

"You know what, Fat man, I'm not sure how to say this without sounding cheesy, but, well, you really came through for me today, so I - What the hell." Stewie said as his apologies to peter and then he hug him.

"I love you too, buddy." Peter said as Father and son embrace, and Stewie's faith in Peter is restored.

"Come on, Stewie. Let's go home." Frank Jr said as he, Emily, Peter and Stewie return home.

As they walk to the castle of Disney world Stewie wonders something.

"Hm, Florida. Just think, somewhere in this state right now, Jeb Bush is eating a live puppy." Stewie said as he feel that Jeb Bush is eating a live puppy somewhere in Florida.

Now we see the coda, Herbert and his dog, Jesse, mope around the house.

"Well Jessie, I guess we've got to find some other way to spend our evenings." Herbert said as he turns on the TV

"We now return to ESPN'S exclusive coverage to the Little League World Series."TV announcer said.

As it turn out to be an announcement of the Little League World Series.

"Jackpot!" Herbert said as He perks up his spirits and responds: "Jackpot!"

As we see a familiar boy spying threw Herbert window.

"I'm gonna keep an eye on you, pervert!" the boy with black spiky hair with red tips.

 **Chapter end**

 **I hope everyone enjoyed! This is thanking for pen123 and Family Guy Fan writer 15, Thank you all for cutaways, scenes, favoring, having me on alerts and with that. So enjoy and see you next chapter.**


	18. Chapter 67: The Fat Guy Strangler

**Chapter 67: The Fat Guy Strangler**

 **Narrator** _  
_ _Fresh out the net box  
Stop, look, and watch  
Ready yet, get set  
It's Family Guy!_

We see paparazzi taking photos of the cast as they come out of the limo and they walk on the red carpet.

 **Chorus:**

 _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

First it show Frank waling out of the limo with a poster with the words "oh" and he poses for the camera.

Then its shows Meg comes in looking all sexy as she signs autographs while she winks at the fans.

Then it turn to Lois comes in hopping while grabbing rose as she gives a kiss toward the fans.

 **Chorus:**

 _Check it, check it, check it  
Now this is just an introduction  
Before I blow your mind  
The show is All of That and yes we do it all the time_

Then it shows Frank Jr poses as he pull his hat down his chest as he throws a rose to the Fans.

Then next person to show up on the carpet is Stewie. As he flips his hat back to his head while he give autographs to fans.

Then Brian comes in sliding on the red carpet as he waves at the fan as he walks in _._

 **Chorus:**

 _So sit your booty on the floor or in a chair  
Ground or in the air  
Just don't go nowhere_

Then Emily comes in give autographs as she smiles at the fans as she tells one of her fans to call her.

Then the scene shows Persephone puts a rose on her mouth with a sexy angry look on her face.

 **Chorus:**

 _Cause everything we do  
It's all of that!  
When entertaining you  
We all of that!_

Then Chris shimming down the carp as he gives the fan a shout out.

Then Peter slide towards the carpet as he flips his hat back on his head.

 **Chorus:**

 _My posse and my crew  
It's all of that!  
So sit still cause we're coming right back_

Then the scene shows John throws a rose at his fans.

As the scene, changes to Tyler puts on rose his mouth as he gives everyone thumbs up.

 **Chorus:**

 _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

Then scene change to the Family Guy MC Cast walks down the stairs as they take a group photo while looking gangsters of the 80. All this while music ends as the scene fades to black.

Now we join the family in the Kitchen as Peter was reading the paper while Lois was passing the family breakfast.

"Peter, don't forget you have a physical today at one o'clock." Lois said as she remind peter of his physical today at 1:00!

"For the hundred time, Lois, I won't forget. Nag, nag, nag... Sometimes I think I should have married that woman I met the night of my bachelor party."Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about woman he met the night of his bachelor party.

 **Cutaway**

We see a young Peter and Lois walking out of a bar.

"I can't believe your friends just left you here. Let's get you home" Lois said.

"Strange lady. You're so sexy. I should marry you tomorrow instead of that pain in the ass Lois" Peter said in a drunk tone.

"Peter, it's me" Lois corrected.

"You know what? Screw it. I am so gonna cheat on Lois right now. I don't care if she finds out. You got a condom? Never mind. I got this Milky Way wrapper" Peter decided to have sex with Lois as he takes out a candy wrapper.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join Peter, Frank, Frank Jr and the boys throws the tail half of a horse suit to Brian

"Put this on." Peter said as he tells Brian to put on the horse head.

"Why?" Brian asked him.

"Because, I'm skipping my physical to go have steaks with the guys, and I don't want Lois to know about it." Peter said as he skipping his physical to go have steaks with the guys and doesn't want Lois know about it.

"Um...okay." Brian said in agreement.

As Peter and the gang are inside the horse suit while walking pass Lois who was read a book.

"Lois, I'm going to my physical now." Peter said as they pass her and went out to the front door.

"Okay, hunny, I'll see you later." Lois said her goodbye to peter.

Now we join Peter, Frank, Frank Jr, John, Tyler and Brian are in the car driving to the steak house.

"Um...what, what the hell. I'll just ask it: Why did we need the horse suit for that?" Brian asked Peter on why we needed the horse suit for?

Now we join the gangat Jamie Mack's house of steak, $9.99 all you can eat steak. Plus bonus steak.

As we see the Peter, Joe, Glenn, Cleveland, Brian, John, Tyler, Frank, Zeke, Negi, Rage, Menma and Frank Jr were trying to eat steaks but they look so full.

"Okay, all right, that's seven sixteen ounce steaks." Peter said as he already full.

As Joe sigh from being full with his son, Zeke right behind him.

But Brian wouldn't allowed it.

"Come on, Joe, you haven't even finished one! I mean, that guy had two." Brian said as he point at person eating two steak to prove his point.

As the person turn out to be the effeminate cow it is ordering food from Jamie Mack's House of Steaks.

I know, I know, I'm terrible, which is why I'm gonna order the cheesecake. The effeminate cow said as it deciding whether or not to have dessert.

"Oh, I can't do it." Joe said as he tries eat a steak but couldn't.

"I'm...I'm so full." Joe said as he give up on eating the steak.

"Full of what, estrogen? C'mon, take the skirt off, you pansy!" Peter said as he asked Joe to eat it while make fun of him.

"Oh." Joe said as he sighs.

"Let's go! Chow down, Mary Jane!" Quagmire said as he calls Joe Mary Jane.

"I said I can't." Joe said as he argues back

"Eat it! Eat the damn steak!" Brian said as he shout at Joe to just finished it

"C'mon, what are you waiting for?" Peter said as he want Joe to finish it.

I can't. No, no, no... Joe said as he argues back while raising his voice.

"Eat it, Joe, eat it!" Glenn said as he join the group on telling Joe to finish his steak.

Until Joe finally had it and he snapped.

"I SAID I'M NOT HUNGRY!" Joe shouted as he takes out his gun and fires at the steak _._

"WHERE IS IT NOW, HUH? WHERE IS IT NOW?!" Joe said as he point his gun at the gang. While everyone puts their hands up.

"Easy, sailor, easy. Cleveland said as his wave his arm down for Joe to put down his gun.

"Put the gun down, Joe." Frank said as his wave his arm down for Joe to put down his gun.

"Yeah, nobody's judging you, man." John said as he tries to calm Joe down.

"It's cool." Tyler said as Joe calms down and passes it to John and Tyler.

As John and Tyler picks up the gun and they passes it to Brian.

"I'll just put this back in your purse next to your tampons." Brian said as he make fun of Joe until Frank Jr bitch slap his face off the table.

"Don't be bitch, bitch!" Frank Jr said as Brian feel he should just let this joke go since it just piss off the wrong people.

Now we join the Griffin twin with Lois in the living room as they watching "The Price is Right".

As we see Bob Barker talking with the contestant about their bids.

"All right, let's start the bidding. Jennifer, how much do you bid on the dinette set?" Bob Barker asked Jennifer on how much she bid on the dinette set?

"Um...$675, Bob." Jennifer answer bob with her bid.

"$675. Stephen?" Bob Barker asked Stephen the same question.

"Uh, $780." Stephen answer him with his bid.

"$780. Tammy?" Bob Barker asked the same question to Tammy.

"What was the last bid?" Tammy asked about the last bid.

"$780." Bob Barker reply the last bid.

"$781." Tammy bids one dollar higher than the man next to her.

This caused Stephen to get piss off from what she did.

"Fuck you!" Stephen said as tammy feel bad for her bid.

As Peter and his crew enters the house, while Lois notice this asked them.

"Hi, honey. How was your physical?"Loisasked peter on how was his physical?

This made peter freeze and he went to her answer.

"Uh, good, good, good, yeah, yeah. Uh, too good, matter of fact. You know what the doctor said? Doctor said I was too healthy. You know? In-in-in too good of shape. Don't even know how. Too good of shape." Peter said as he lied through his teeth.

But Lois notice Frank nodding no and she knew peter was lying.

"You didn't go to your physical, did you?" Lois asked Peter that he didn't go to his physical.

"Uh, he did not." Frank Jr said the truth which made Peter say "hey!"

Now we join Frank Jr, Lois and Peter at the health care center for Peter's physical.

"So, Doctor, is Peter healthy?" Lois asked Dr. Hartman if peter is healthy.

"My goodness, you'll be dead within a month!" Dr. Hartman said some bad news.

"What?" Peter and Lois said in shocked while Frank Jr scream while running around in circles.

As Dr. Hartman pulls out a newspaper which calm Frank Jr.

"Oh, _Hägar the Horrible_ , if you keep up that lifestyle of pillaging and giant turkey legs, you'll be dead within a month. Now, onto you." Dr. Hartman said as he about to tell the news.

"So, what do you think? Pretty healthy, huh?" Peter asked the doctor if he is healthy.

"Well, Mr. Griffin, let's take a look at your physical results." Dr **.** Hartman said as he about to open peter's physical results.

"Aaaahhh!" Dr **.** Hartman screamed.

As Frank Jr, Lois and Peter gasp as Hartman drops the folder.

"There's a spider in here!" Dr. Hartman said as he picks up the folder again, and a spider falls out of it.

"Now, here we go. Mr. Griffin, you're going to expire in a month." Dr. Hartman said some bad news.

As Lois and Peter gasp and Frank Jr ran into circle around the room and ceiling.

Then Dr. Hartman pulls Peter's driver's license out of the folder.

"This is your driver's license, isn't it? Now unfortunately, I'm afraid you're going to die..."Dr. Hartman said as he tells them that peter is going to die.

"Oh!" Lois gasp as Frank Jr and Peter gasps with her

As Dr. Hartman pulls out a video from the shelf and goes to peter.

"...when you watch these Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts!" Dr. Hartman said as he passes the video to peter until Lois gets piss off.

"WILL YOU JUST TELL US HOW PETER'S HEALTH IS?" Lois scream at the Dr. Hartman to just to tell them if peter is healthy or not.

"Uh, Mr. Griffin, I'm not quite sure how to say this. Kim...Basinger? Bay-Basinger? Ba-Basenger? Baysinger? Hm. But now, onto the cancer." Dr. Hartman said something about cancer.

"Oh my God!" Lois said in shocked.

"You are a Cancer, right? You were born in July? Now, onto these test results." Dr. Hartman said as he knows peter is a cancer.

As Dr. Hartman pulls a paper out of the folder

"My, they're much worse than I thought." Dr. Hartman said he look shocked by the results.

As Frank Jr, Lois and Peter gasp from what they heard.

"My son got a D- on his history test. Now, Mr. Griffin, that liver's gotta come out." Dr. Hartman said about a liver's

"Wah!" Peter screamed

"What?" Lois said in shocked.

"Great Horney toads!" Frank Jr said in shocked.

"It's been in the microwave for three minutes!" Dr. Hartman said as he goes to the microwave.

As Dr. Hartman pulls a liver out of a microwave

"It'll get dry. Now..." Dr. Hartman said until he notice the family was tired.

"Please... please... we can't take any more schtick!" Frank Jr said as he tells Dr. Hartman that they can't take anymore.

"Please, just tell us. Is Peter healthy?" Lois asked him if peter is healthy or not?

"Oh, yeah, he's fine. He's just really fat." Dr. Hartman said as he pronounces him healthy, but fat.

"Oh, thank God." Lois said as she sighs in relief.

But Peter interrupt them.

"Wait, wait, wait, hang-hang-hang on a second. Did you just say I was fat?" Peter said as he takes this badly.

"Well...uh, yeah. You-you are pretty fat." Dr. Hartman said the truth again and Peter doesn't take it well at all.

"Um...okay...this is news to me. Uh...boy, this is more awkward than having sex with a rhinoceros who doesn't love you anymore." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about sex with a rhinoceros who doesn't love you anymore.

 **Cutaway**

As we see Peter in bed with a rhinoceros.

"Why wouldn't you look at me during?" Peter asked as the rhino left him on bed alone and then he cries.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we are back to the Mallque/Griffin house with Brain plus John and Tyler on the couch reading comics

"Hey, how was your physical?" Brian asked them on how was peter's physical.

"Stupid doctor said I was fat. Can you believe that idiot?" Peter said as he takes this badly.

"Well, Peter, you are on the large side." Brian said as he agrees with the doctor.

"Yeah Mr. Griffin, your level of fatness is DAMN!" John said in agreement.

"Oh, please, Guys, if I was fat, could I do this with the hula-hoop?" Peter said as he shoves a hula hoop and try it out but he looks stupid.

"Oh, no, no, I guess you couldn't do that if you were fat." Brian reply

But peter accidentally smashing a picture of Lois' family.

"Careful, Peter, that's an old family photo. My mother gave it to me." Lois said as she trying to salvage it, Lois discovers another child in the picture: a boy.

"Huh, that's weird." John said as he notice his picture of Lois's family photo with extra person.

"I didn't know you've had a brother, Mrs. Griffin?" Tyler said as he realized that person must be Lois's older brother.

"I don't. I mean, I don't think so." Lois said as she doesn't know this person.

As Peter comes in wearing Stewie's onesie which disgust everyone in the room.

"Hey, if I'm fat, then Stewie is fat too, because we wear the same size onesie." Peter said as he look ridicules wearing it.

Now we join ourselves at Rhode Island Gentlemen's Club as we see Carter Pewterschmidt at the lounge area until his phone rings.

As we see Carter Pewterschmidton the phone and he talking to Lois.

"Hello, Pumpkin." Carter Pewtershmidt answers Lois on his phone.

"Hello, Daddy?" Lois said from the phone in house.

"Did I miss your piano recital?" Carter Pewtershmidt asked her if he miss her piano recital.

"No, Daddy, I'm in my forties now." Lois said as he tells him that she is forty now.

"Good God!" Carter Pewtershmidt said in shocked.

"I have a question I'd wanted to ask. Do I have a brother?" Lois asked him if she has a brother.

"No, no, don't be silly!" Carter Pewtershmidt said in a quick tone as he lied to his daughter on the phone.

"Cause I found this picture..." Lois explain to carter about the photo she got.

As Carter begin to panic until he spot someone who can get him out of this situation.

"Oh, Dick, thanks God you're here. Talk to her." Carter Pewtershmidt said as he pass his phone to dick.

"Message CM 27. The subscriber you are trying to reach is unavailable or outside the calling area." Dick speaks with a monotone and can imitate automated phone company messages.

As Lois hangs up the phone on her end and Dick give back Carter his phone.

"What do you feel like doing later?" Carter Pewtershmidt asked dick on what they want to do later.

"Message CM 42. Let's go pay some hookers to knock our junk around." Dick said as he uses the same tone and phrases for everyday activities.

But Lois persists as see Lois and his kids plus Brian breaking into her parents' house, The Pewtershmidt mansion.

Are you sure this is a good idea, Mom? Frank asked as he claims on the ladder with Frank Jr ride on his back in the joey.

"Are you sure we have to do this?" Emily asked the same question while climbing the ladder.

"Well I have to know somehow. Daddy's not telling the truth and I know he's hiding things." Lois answered as she enter the house threw the window.

"But I certainly don't think it feels right." Emily replied back

Breaking into Great grandma and great grandpa's house, huh? Frank Jr said in question as he and his father enter the window.

"But it does feel more exciting than that time we saw Bobby McFarrin fall down all those stairs." Stewie added as he set up a cutaway about saw Bobby McFarrin fall down some stairs.

 **Cutaway**

We see Bobby McFerrin falling down the stairs in a comical way.

As Bobby McFerrin scatting in pain as he fall on the stares

"Cool!" Frank Jr said

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to Carter and Bab's room as Lois turn on the light which piss off Emily and Brian.

"Wait! What are you doing?" Brian said quiet tone.

"They are sleeping in here." Emily shouted quietly.

"Oh please, they get so doped upon sleeping pills and liquor an earthquake wouldn't wake them up." Lois said as she explain that her parent wasted to sleep because of all the drugs they take.

As she and Frank left Emily in charge of the babied near Lois's parents. They went to the family photo hanging on the wall and take it down to see a safe.

"My God, how does she sleep at night knowing she has to funnel that old duffer's hog?Stewie said to Frank Jr about Barbara sleep at night knowing she has to funnel carter's old hog.

As Frank opens the safe to find the record of family members, while him moving through the pages of family members, Lois stops him to find the file she was looking for.

"This is it, Patrick Pewterschmidt. Meadowland 56, Brookfield. I do have a brother. Oh my God, I've got to meet him." Lois said as she found where her brother's location.

Until certain names file fell down, Frank pick them and read them.

"What the hell, this can't be?" Frank said in shocked as he realized that Jenny Murdock and Lily Kennedy are Pewterschmidt relatives plus their kids father was a saiyan by looking at their baby photos of them having tails.

"Oh...hey, Brian, you know what'll be fun?" Stewie said as he whispers inaudibly to Frank Jr and Brian

"Oh God, totally." Brian said while Frank Jr nodded in agreement.

Next thing, they both toboggan on Carter and Babs down the staircase

Yeeaaaahh!/Oooooooooh! Frank Jr/Brian/Stewie shouted as they slide down the stairs.

As Carter and Babs bounce further, completely unnoticed. Both high five

"Awesome!" Frank Jr/Brian/Stewie said as they high five each other.

"You know, sometimes the old-fashioned play things are the best." Stewie said as he sets up a cutaway about the old-fashioned play things are the best play things.

 **Cutaway**

As we cutaway to a commercial.

"Hey, kids of America. It's hand-painted wooden ball in a cup. Who needs constant electronic video stimulation when there's ball in a cup? Mexico's favorite toy for over 340 years. Toss the ball, catch it in the cup, dump it out of the cup, toss it, and catch it in the cup again. The ball is on a string and attached to the cup so there's no worry if you don't catch the ball. And cleanup is as easy as catching a ball in a cup. Why spend another day not catching a ball in a cup when you could be catching a ball in a cup?" a man announced as kids are playing a ball in a cup. TV commercial announcer:

A "Ball in a cup" jingle plays.

 **Kids**

 _Ball in a Cup, Ball in a Cup, it's a Ball in a Cup!_

 **Boy**

Ball in a Cup!

 **Kids**

 _Ball in a Cup!_

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we are back at the Mallque/Griffin house with Peter, John, Tyler and Brian on the couch watching TV.

"Peter, I think maybe you're in denial about this fat thing." Brian said to peter that he is in denial about himself being fat plus John and Tyler agree with him.

"Oh, yeah? Well, I challenge you to prove to me that I'm fat." Peter:

"Uhh...okay, hang on." John said as he take Tyler and Brian out of the room.

They return to the living room with Brian holding something for peter.

"See this?" Brian asked peter if he is see what he has on his paw.

"Yeah." Peter responded yes.

"Y'know what it is?" Brian asked him on what he has on his Paw.

"Uh...duhh, it's an apple." Peter answer Brian that his dog has an apple.

"Good, good, good. Alright, watch this." Brian said as he and kids did something.

As Brian throws the apple on Peter's waist, which mysteriously floats around his torso.

"What the hell...? What is this? What's this, some kinda gag?" Peter said as he notice that the apple is mysteriously floats around his torso.

"Uh no, that's orbit." Brian responded that peter has orbit.

"Huh?" Peter said as he is very confused.

"You have your own gravitational pull." John said as he tells peter has his own gravitational pull.

"Oh, that's a bunch of crap." Peter said as he doesn't believe what they are saying but they didn't give up.

As Brian throws a book, john throws a glass of iced water that following the apple's direction and Tyler leaves the couch. Tyler returns carrying the TV and throws to Peter's orbit

"Now back to _The Three Stooges_." Announcer said from the TV float around from peter's orbit.

"Hehehehehehehehe—aww. Ehehehehehehehehe—aww. Yehehehehehehehe—aww." Peter chuckles at the show then mopes with the TV disappears from his sign until it turns to his sigh again.

This when Brian notice Frank eating while he looks dirty. Frank was think about on how he has extra kids. But Brian couldn't take it anymore, so he walk over frank to give him some advice.

"Look, here, this is the number of a hypnotherapist I want you to see, he will help you with your problem. Brian refers Frank to a hypnotherapist,

"All right, Brian." Frank replied as he gets out of the couch to do that!

As we join frank at the hypnotherapist office to get some help on his problem.

"Okay, now let's go back in your mind to your childhood, to some of your deepest memories." Hypnotherapist asked him as he puts Frank in a trances for him to remember his hidden past.

Yeah, I'm getting something." Frank said as he remember a father day in the kitchen just after his attempt at gain another child with Meg, Frank Jr had Maddie and Rosie over top play.

They came into the kitchen with card and the twin girls had tail but Frank didn't notice them.

"Happy Father's Day, Dad." Maddie and Rosie said as they gave him a father day card.

"I'm not your father, guys?" Frank said until they pass their birth certificates which shocked him and he fainted.

"Oh, my God! I'm Maddie Murdock and Rosie Kennedy's real father! I wonder what else I've repressed. Oh, my God! I could've had a V8." Frank said as where he uncovers memories of Maddie and Rosie telling him he is their real father.

As Frank goes to talk to Jenny Murdock and Lily Kennedy about it, he knocks the door and they answer.

"Oh, hi, Frank. Are you here to bring Frank Jr over?" Jenny Murdock asked about his son having another play date again.

"No, I here solo. But listen, Girls, I've got to ask you something. Whose are your daughter's real father?"' Frank asked them about Maddie and Rosie's real birth father.

"I knew this day would come. All right, Frank, here it is. Do you remember a few 10 years ago?" Jenny said as they set up a flashback.

 **Flashback 10 years ago**

As Frank narrating on the day he was dating His son's friend's moms. Before he meet Meg and move in with her, Frank was living in apartment near north quahog as his phone rings and he answer it to find out.

"Hello, who this?" Frank said on the phone.

"Hey Frank, you available?" Maddie's mother asked him.

"Yes I am, why?" Frank asked from the phone of his apartment.

"I knew it!" Rosie's mom said excitedly from their apartment.

"Okay who is there with you?" Frank asked from the phone

"It's me, Mrs. Murdock!" Maddie's Mom said as she answer while jumping on her couch.

"Oh hey Mrs. MD, how are you doing?" Frank said hi to Maddie's mom.

"And her best friend Lily Kennedy." Lily said from the background.

"So what's up girls, what you two need me for?" Frank asked them on what they need.

"So which one of us would you date?" Jenny asked which one of them would Frank date

"What do you mean which one?" Frank asked question with another question.

"We were wondering if you would like to date me of Jenny. "Lily asked frank if he would like to date her instead of Jenny.

"I don't know, I still not over my crush with Meg, girls?" Frank said as he rubs his head over while he is flattered by the girl, but he still loves Meg since the days of his preschool.

"Oh come on, take a chance on us for it." Jenny said

" _If it doesn't work out for me, I might ship either daughter they have with Junior if he chooses when he is born."_ Frank thought.

"Okay fine, one date but if doesn't work, I'm going straight to Meg and asking her to married me!' Frank said as he cave in to press since he feels that the girls look like Meg's mom but younger.

At least Meg has a big Badunkadunk as Frank thought in his head.

But Frank digress, so he went on a date with Jenny at Applebee's.

They talked, they laughed, jenny saying Frank got so hammered to the point that he had to go to her house with her partner.

Frank still don't know why he got hammered and when he get here.

But when he woke up he noticed that the Maddie and Rosie's parents, they look exactly like younger versions of the Lois Griffin, Jenny had long blonde hair while Lily has shortened Rosie hairy. It was really weird to head to Same PewterSchmidt nose, then something really shocking happened.

Now we join Frank going to sperm bank to donate some sperm to freeze.

"Hi, there. Frank Mallque. I've, uh, got an appointment to, uh, banish a white Russian from my Kremlin." Frank said as he tells the doctor about him donating his sperm.

"Well, we don't have empty rooms right now, but if you'll have a seat..." the doctor said as he offers a seat.

"Yeah. Uh, I kind of, uh, warmed myself up in the car, if you catch my drift." Frank said as his already full boner.

"I could put you in the storage freezer." The doctor said as he offer a freezer.

"That'll work." Frank said as the doctor take frank to the freezer.

"Nurse, I've got a splinter." Semous said as he appears out of nowhere.

"Just come out whenever you're done." The doctor said as he leaves.

While Frank donating his sperm at Quahog Cryo-lab, he accidentally knocks a large rack of samples over.

Now back to the front office of the sperm bank we see a lesbian couple coming through.

"Hi. My partner and I want to have a babies. We'd like a vial of sperm, eggs and an applicator that looks like Jody Foster's knuckles." Jenny Murdock aske as Lily Kennedy nodded

"Certainly. Let me just go to the freezer." The doctor said as he walks back to the freezer.

As Frank close the freezer door as the doctor came in.

"Mr. Mallque, you were in there an awfully long time. Are you all right?" The doctor asked him if he okay.

"Yup, yup, fine, fine. And, uh, just so you know, everything in there is exactly the way it was when I went in. There is absolutely zero chance that I spilled all the jars and had to refill them with my own sperm. Zero chance." Frank said as he replaces them himself with his own samples so that he won't get in trouble.

So we see Frank wobbles his way toward the car.

The doctor got ready to inseminate both Lily and Jenny.

"Motherhood is so beautiful," she told herself, getting the baster full of sperm and applying it to Jenny as she lay unconscious.

Then she gets another baster full of sperm and applying it to Lily as she lay unconscious.

As they awoke to find that both she and lily couldn't get out of her bed...and that her stomach had become a large load, scaring her. She tried to move off onto the floor, but felt something struck her in the gut and forced her back down. Everything from the waist down hurt and she couldn't reach for her phone. She gritted her teeth, but that didn't do much for the pain as another jolt of it hit her in the belly button.

Darkness fell upon day, with rain, thunder and lightning, and both lily and jenny's water broke, gushing out a lot of it on the beds and the floor in front of it, like they were taking a leak.

"Mmmmmm! Mmmmm! Mmmmm!" Lily muffled, having been gagged to keep her quiet from the pain of her labor.

"Push, Ms. Tilly. Push." Tiffany told her.

If she wasn't gagged up, she would've told her, "I am pushing, you little star-fucker!", but instead of answering, a much gory response came...in the form of a splat of blood hitting her in the face!

"Mmmmmm. Mmmm. Mmmmmm!" Jenny muffled, having been gagged to keep her quiet from the pain of her labor.

"Ah, my God. It's coming. I can see its little... Oh, my God!" the doctor gasped.

After 6 minutes had past, the women were surprised, for they had two babies. Two girls, perfectly-formed. It seemed like some of everything was going their way they wanted it, but they came across 1 very big problem: they had passed out from the ordeal, pretty much near death.

Both Jenny and Lily woke up to the sunlight of the new morning, sore at the waist going down to their legs. They checked themselves and found out her's and jenny's breasts were slightly larger and their stomach was flat. They getting out of bed, while they felt a little able to, jenny was presented with the sight of 2 infants lying on the floor. As something unfamiliar within her told her to pick up the 2 infants and cradle them, her soul told her that she should only cradle the two girls and she did. This two was hers, created from her own flesh.

She couldn't explain how or even why at 1st, she wanted to think it was some crazy nightmare brought to life, but that didn't explain why her breasts were now milking, and then she wanted to think she had been raped, which would've probably explained why her groin felt sore, but that didn't explain how the babies were here, but this girls she was holding she couldn't bring herself to leave.

Using some various connections, Ms. Murdock and Ms. Kennedy were able to keeping with them, to raise, now going by the name Maddie and Rosie, was some Childs left on her doorstep. The reincarnated of Maddie and Rosie, due to being reincarnated in the baby girls with red tails, had lost any recollection they had of their parents, they had found their time with Ms. Murdock and Kennedy greater than anything she and Rosie could remember at the age of only 3 months, so there wasn't really a problem with them. Meanwhile, Jenny and lily, in all of the truth-making, fact-hiding, lie-telling moves, kept hold of a mysterious silver and red jewel that was in their room when they found the babies, deciding to hold onto it and eventually pass it onto their children.

 **End of flashback**

"And that what happened 10 years ago, we were tired of being single and we watch you get out of the sperm bank. So we think that you were cute so we ask the bank on why you were here in the first place. So Frank, our daughter's real father." Jenny said

"Oh my God! I gotta find them!" Frank said as he runs upstairs to meet his kids.

Now we join Lois, Meg, Persephone, Chris, john, Tyler, Stewie and Frank Jr in the car as they drive towards where Lois's long lost brother live.

"Can you believe I'm about to meet my long-lost brother? Maybe Dateline will do a story about us, huh?! I've got to meet that pumper's ass Stone Phillips. He's a kinda guy you hate till he's inside ya." Lois said as

"There it is, Meadowlane 56." Meg said as she point out the address.

As they finds Lois's Brother Patrick in a mental hospital.

"Brookfield insane asylum?" Emily said in shocked with her mother looking equally shocked.

"Gasp, oh, My God, mom's brother's crazy." Persephone said as she hug john and he enjoys every minute of it.

While we see Stewie and Frank Jr play with their balls in cup.

"Oh, no, I didn't catch the ball in the cup!" Stewie said as he later had difficulty playing the game.

As Frank Jr reinsure him that the game not over.

"No uncle stewie, wait a minute, its okay because the ball is on a string and attached to the cup." Frank Jr said as he explains that the ball is on a string and attached to the cup.

Now we join the family walking inside mental hospital looking for Patrick's room.

"Doctor, is my brother really insane?" Lois asked the doctor if his brother was crazy

"Mrs. Griffin, we do not use the word 'insane'. We prefer the term 'mentally hilarious'." the doctor said as he describe his patience are 'mentally hilarious'!

"Whoa, Grandma's brother be crazy!" Frank Jr said as he feel that his new uncle is crazy in the brain.

'I can't wait to meet the lunatic. I bet it's even weirder than commercial I saw." Stewie said as he sets up a cutaway about a weird commercial he saw.

 **Cutaway**

"Is that butter substitute?" a man asked.

"It sure is" a woman answered.

"Is it true it has half the calories of butter?" he asked.

"Yep" she answered.

"Can I have some?" he asked.

"Get your own" she refused, but the man stabbed her with a knife.

"Take that, you bitch!" the man

"What the hell?" woman

"How'd you like that?"

"Joke's on you. I have hepatitis!" woman

The man drops the knife from hearing that.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to Lois as she finds her brother Patrick in his room.

"Patrick?" Lois said his name as they see him on his bed.

"Yes!" Patrick replied from his bed.

"My name is Lois, I'm your sister." Lois said to Patrick

"Oh my God, Lois, I never thought I'd see you again." Patrick said as they hug each other.

"These are my children and this little boy with the red tail is my grandson." Lois explain her kids to Patrick.

"Why are you living in a crazy house, Uncle Patrick?" Chris asked him why he lives here.

"Well, when I was just a little boy, I had a very traumatic experience." Patrick explains that he was locked up because, as an infant, he had a very traumatic experience.

 **Patrick's Flashback begins**

As we join Patrick as an infant while he walk toward his mother room.

"Mommy, can I have a drink of water?" Patrick asked his mother for a glass of water.

When he walked in on his mother having an affair with Jackie Gleason,

"Jackie Gleason!" Patrick gasp at Jackie Gleason naked in his parent's room.

"Beat it, kid, your mother's busy." Gleason said as Patrick's mother, Barbara performing oral sex on Jackie Gleason.

"Humminah, Humminah, Humminah, Humminah. POW! Right in the kisser!" Gleason said as he apparently ejaculated in Barbara's face while saying his catch phrase "Pow! Right in the kisser!"

This caused Patrick had a nervous breakdown.

 **Flashback ends**

We are back in the mental hospital room.

"Oh, that's a horrible story." Frank Jr said as he felt his pain.

"Yes, I was so traumatized they sent me here and I guess they must have forgotten about me." Patrick said as he explains that he's been locked up since childhood and forgotten.

"Well, you seem perfectly normal to me. And no brother of mine is gonna be cooped up inside insane asylum. We are taking you back to Quahog with us." Lois said as she decides to take Patrick home

"Oh, that's a great idea. Maybe he can bring us a sling blade and order up some french-fried potaters. Mmm-hmm! Stewie said as he reference to the film _Sling Blade_ , in which a murderer who is released from a hospital eats French fries, which he calls "French fried potaters."

Now we are back at the Mallque/Griffin house in the kitchen having breakfast with Patrick.

"Thank God I'm out of that hospital. It's great to be eating lunch with my family, instead of a bunch of chronic masturbators. Those people are disgusting." Patrick said as he is happy to be eating lunch with his family, instead of a bunch of chronic masturbators.

"Is it lonely up there on your pedestal, Uncle Patrick?' Frank Jr asked him if he is okay.

As Peter comes in to the kitchen.

"Oh, Peter, there you are. This is my brother, Patrick." Lois introduce Peter to her brother, Patrick.

"Ye-yeah, good to meet you, Patrick.' Frank said as he is glad to meet new members. But Peter brush this off.

"Alright, listen up, everybody. I have something to tell you. I'm not quite sure how to say this...I'm fat. Let me give you a minute to absorb that. That's the way it is, it's nobody's fault...Meg and Persephone. But, I've decided to do something about it." Peter said as he realizes that he is fat and decide to do something.

Nobody in the kitchen responded except Meg.

"Oh, great. You gonna drop some weight, fat-ass?" Meg said in response to that threat of her father.

"Yeah fat-ass?" Frank said in agreement.

"No, dummies! I'm gonna help make this a fat man's world, by establishing the National Association for the Advancement of Fat People!"Peter decides to fight for fat people's rights by founding a fat people's club.

"This is the best idea you have had since I slayed that dragon." Frank Jr said as he sets up a cutaway about himself slaying a dragon.

 **Cutaway**

We see Frank Jr dressed as a knight while he knocking on the door of a house.

"Cybill Shepherd?" Frank Jr asked the lady who live here.

"Yes?" Cybill answered.

But then Frank Jr pull out his sword which made her breath fire at his shield.

As she roars at him while she flies back inside her house and Frank Jr chases her inside.

They battled. However, Frank Jr kills her by throwing his sword at her chest and chops her head off.

"People, you are free!" he announced as everyone cheered.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Meanwhile at Kennedy estates as Frank knocked the door.

"Excuse me, girls? My name is Frank." Frank said as he enter the room.

"Pleased to meet you, Mr. Mallque. This Maddie and I'm Rosie." Rosie said as she introduce themselves to him.

"Listen, uh, this maybe hard for you to believe but... I'm your father." Frank said as he reveal to the girls that he is their father!

"Oh, are you now?" Maddie said in tone that doesn't believe him.

"Yeah, I came all the way from my house to find you two and tell the truth." Frank said as he explain why he is here.

"I suppose its money we wanted. You owe us some allowance and so forth." Rosie said as she doesn't believe him either.

"Oh, no, I don't want money. I just want to get to know you and be friends. So you finally have a real dad who loves and respects you both." Frank said as he really wants to bond with them since he now remembers the adventure he had with their counterparts from those other dimensions.

"You can't be my dad. You, I and Rosie are nothing alike." Maddie said as she and her sister don't look like Frank at all except the fact they have whiskers on their cheeks and their tail grew back.

"Yeah, Mr. Mallque, Just ask my gangster dinosaur, O'Breezie." Rosie said as he points him to their talking dinosaur who wore a red cap with chain on his neck.

"Yo my girls, I'm extinct up in this?" O'Breezie the Zip Gangster Pterodactyl said.

Now back at the living room with Lois, Stewie, Frank Jr, Emily, Brian and Patrick watching TV.

"You know, I'm very glad you're here, Patrick." Lois said to her brother that she happy he is here.

"Well, I wanna tell you that Marion and I both appreciate what you've done." Patrick tell her that Marion and he both appreciate what she has done.

"Marion? Oh, you have a girlfriend?" Lois asked him about his girlfriend.

"Oh, where are my manners? Marion is my wife. She's sitting right next to me. Here we go." Patrick said as he thinks he has a wife whom no one but him can see.

"Nice to meet you, Marion." Lois said as she shake into nothing.

"What's that, honey? Oh, yes. Hang on, Marion wants some coffee." Patrick said as he leaves the room to get Marion some coffee.

"Lois, did you see that? He is nuts!" Brian said to Lois that Patrick is crazy.

"Brian, he's been locked up in that place for 30 years. It's perfectly understandable that he did invent an imaginary companion." Lois attempts to overlook the evidence.

"Yes, he is even more imaginative than the people who invented singing." Stewie said as he sets up a cutaway about the people who invented singing.

 **Cutaway**

We see cavemen humming, and then the music comes along.

 _Woa, oh, oh, oh_

 _For the longest time (For the longest time)_

 _Woa, oh, oh_

 _For the longest time (For the longest time)_

 _If you said goodbye to me tonight_

 _Ooo-wweeee-oooo_

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join Frank and Meg at the park as he told Meg about Frankl Jr's new friend are his Younger half- siblings.

"Boy it's amazing, isn't it? You get two daughters and neither one of them wants anything to do with you." Meg said as she amazed that her husband new kids don't want nothing to do with him.

"There's got to be some way I can make him see that I'm worthy of being their father. About the only way I can ever impress him is if I was awesome hero. Frank said

"Frank! You are a Hero." Voice said from nowhere.

What? Frank said in confusion.

As Frank sees his children, Hamura Uzumaki in a ghostly vision alongside Jake Jr and Franklin, Hayden Christensen appears in Jedi robes, a reference to the 2004 DVD changes to return of the Jedi.

"You're a Legendary Warrior Emperor!" Hamura said as he encourage his father to fight back.

"Yes, from was he told us? That's right on the money, Dad." Jake Jr said in agreement.

"Challenge them, you must, Father." Franklin said like in a yoda voice.

"And I'm Hayden Christensen." Hayden Christensen version of Anakin Skywalker said.

'Wait a minute, Meg, that's it! I'm a hero because my past life was hero. I gotta prove it to them. I have gotta show them so much awesomeness far under the table, they'll have no choice but to respect me." Frank explain his plan on how he will empress his new daughters.

"Get me a soda, Meg. I am going to prepare for this as thoroughly as Pops prepares for work." Frank said as his plan to challenges them to an awesome contest and win.

Now back with peter bring the fat guy for the National Association for the Advancement of Fat People, or NAAFP. Its mission is to ensure the social and economic equality of rights of all persons and to eliminate hatred and discrimination by how overweight and/or obese someone may be. With Frank Jr, John, and Tyler being Peter's support.

"All right everyone, I'd like to get started." Frank Jr said to the fat guys.

As the fats guy were trying to get to their seats while panting.

"You know, maybe everyone should sit down." Tyler said to the fat guys

As the fat guys finally reach their seats and they are sitting in them.

"OK, that's better. Welcome everybody to the..." Peter said as he tries to give his speech until the fat guy grab their snacks.

"Snacks are best saved for later." Peter said as he tells his fellow fat men to save their snacks for later.

"OK, now I've prepared an agenda for our organization, what we want from the community as fat people with pride." Peter explain the mission to the fat guys

"All right, I think we've got a lot accomplished here today, we'll pick this up again tomorrow." John said as he tell the fat guy they will meet next week.

Now we are back at the living room of the Mallque/Griffin house with the trio of Frank Jr, Brian and Stewie

"Hey guys, I'm going for a run, do me a favor in keep Marion Company while I'm gone?" Patrick asked them to keep Marion Company while Patrick going for a run.

"Aaa, sure." Brian said as they are fine with spending time with Marion.

"Great. By, honey." Patrick said as he leaves the house door.

As they look bored on the couch, that when Frank Jr started to joke around.

"Hey Brian, Marion just called you an alcoholic." Frank Jr said to Brian about Marion.

"Oh yeah? Marion just called you a homo!" Brian said right back a joke to Frank Jr about Marion.

As they all laugh at the jokes until Stewie interrupts them.

"Wait a second, I'll be right back." Stewie said as he leave the room

He return to the couch with a cucumber

"Hey Brian, what if I put this cucumber right here, put the cucumber right there." Stewie said as he puts the cucumber near Marion's vagina as a joke.

"Do you think Patrick will be angry?" Frank Jr asked as he tries to talk with a serious face but he is still laughing.

"I don't know man, it's his wife." Brian said his response while laughing

"If I put it right there? Right at that spot, right there on the couch?" Stewie said as he moves right in the middle of the couch where Marion is sitting but it mean he puts it inside of Marion's vagina.

"Hey, Marion is giving you the thumbs up." Frank Jr said as he make it that Marion like having a cucumber in her vagina.

"You know what we should do? We should lay it and sit here for a couple of weeks and see if it pickles." Stewie said as he explain that they should leave the cucumber lay it and sit here for a couple of weeks and see if it pickles.

As they laugh by that statement.

"If out of three weeks it pickles, then she's real, and we both have to buy Patrick a steak." Brian said as he finish what Stewie pal is and them all laugh by that statement

As we join Peter in the kitchen alone with a pie in the dark with the lights off.

"Hey, pie. I know what you want. I saw you in that movie. Whore, slut, bitch. You don't deserve damn sex with me, instead I'm gonna it the hole out of ya." Peter said to the pie in his hands as he refers to the baked-goods sex scene in American Pie while speaking to a pie he's contemplating eating.

As the lights turn on with Patrick entering the kitchen.

"Peter, did you start a coalition for fat guys?" Patrick asked peter if he start a coalition for fat guys.

"Yeah, the Fat Guy Coalition." Peter replied.

"Peter, you shouldn't encourage people to be fat. Fat people are immoral." Patrick

"How did you figure, sports fan?" Peter replied for answer.

"They are just bad people, like that Jackie Gleason. He was fat, and he was bad. One time, when I was a boy..." Patrick said as he tries to explain what happened to him as a boy until peter interrupts him.

Oh, I love Jackie Gleason, hey, take a look on what I bought at this TV convention. Peter said as he leaves the room and him return with a different look.

"It's a bus driver's uniform. POW! Right in the kisser!" Peter said as Unfortunately, Peter's physical appearance and manners bring back the trauma from that event to Patrick.

As he see Jackie Gleason as a child again until he turn into Peter.

"Pow! Right in the kisser!" Peter Griffin/Jackie Gleason said to Patrick face so many times until he snaps.

"Ahhhhhhh!" Patrick shouted as he ran off the kitchen in fear.

"Wow, that's set him off like a Paul Schaefer fire alarm." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about a Paul Schaefer fire alarm.

 **Cutaway**

We see a fire being set as the fire alarm with Paul Shaffer screaming.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we're back at the Mallque/Griffin house as the phone ring and Lois answers it.

"Hello?" Lois said on the phone.

"Lois, it's your father. The hospital called and said you released Patrick. Have you lost your mind? He's incredibly dangerous." Carter shouted on the phone

"Oh, well that's ridiculous! Patrick is a very nice man, and you should be ashamed of yourself for locking up your own son!" Lois said as she hangs up the phone and she notice the pickle on the couch.

"Whose pickle is this?" Lois shouted for someone about the pickle on the couch.

As Brian, John, Tyler and Emily came down and they went to sit on the couch to watch the news on TV.

"This just in, the body of a local fatman was found murdered in Quahog Park last night. Police released this sketch of the suspect." Tom tucker said as the new show a sketch of an angry Patrick.

This shocked everyone in the living room.

"Oh my God!" John said in shocked

"Police also released this sketch of a female accomplice believed to be his wife!" Tom tucker said as his show a blank sketches of the female accomplice.

"Meh!" Tyler said as he thought that the picture wasn't realistic

As Lois begins to panic on what she has saw while the scene fades to black.

Now back to the living room with Meg and Persephone join in on the couch as they watch the news.

"Hello, I'm Tom Tucker. Quahog's newest serial killer has struck again. Since the first victim at Quahog Park last week, three more men have been killed. All of them very, very fat." Tom Tucker said as he reported the news on Patrick killing spree.

"Lois, that sketch looks a lot like Patrick." Brian said as he already figure that Patrick is the killer.

"Oh, that's ridiculous." Lois said as she tries to deny the truth on what's in front of her.

"I don't know, I mean he's clearly crazy, look at that imaginary wife of his." Emily said as she about all the evident's on the TV including his wife.

"Well if she's imaginary, how will you explain a pickle on the couch?" Lois said about the pickle on the couch.

"I don't understand what... Oh wait? Really? Hey Stewie and Frank Jr!" Brian shouted at upstairs if they hear what Lois has said.

"I know, I know, we've heard." Frank Jr shouted back from upstairs.

As Patrick comes in threw the front door with mud all over himself with a shovel.

"Patrick, where have you been?" Lois asked him on where he has been.

"Oh, it's nothing you need to concern yourself with, Lois." Patrick said as he is hiding something from the family.

"That's a relief." Lois said as she feels relief but her family doesn't agree with her.

"Oh yeah, yeah, that's a relief, the fat guy strangler is living here, and there's a fat guy in the house." Brian said as he know that Patrick is a killer and he will kill again.

"This will be a bigger disaster the one that dad did Tara Reid's' boob-job." Emily said as she sets up a cutaway about peter doing Tara Reid's' boob-job.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter eating a slice of pizza as he performs an operation. He drops a pepperoni on Tara Reid.

"Dropped some pepperoni on there. You know what? That works. Sew it up" Peter ordered.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join Frank as he rushes into the house of Maddie and Rosie in a huff.

"Maddie Murdock and Rosie Kennedy, I challenge you two to an awesome contest." Frank shouted as he kick the door down and walk right into their living room.

"And what makes you think you can hold your own with the likes of us?" Maddie Murdock asked him if he can hold his own against them.

"Because I'm your dad. And I'm tough. I mean it half way through twilight." Frank said as he is tough and brave.

"As we say in quahog, let's do mazing stuff until our immune system destroy ours organs and kills us. "Rosie said

"I've got twenty on the weird one, yo." O'Breezie the Zip Gangster Pterodactyl said.

"Which one's the weird one?" Lily and jenny asked their pet dinosaur.

 **Maddie and Rosie VS Frank**

 _ **Showdown 1-**_

"I got you finally!" Frank said in elation as he grabbed Maddie and Rosie by the back of their necks.

He had discovered that the girls he was chasing was apparently a hidden pyromaniac, there wasn't a single thing they threw at the Saiyan that hadn't exploded at least once; kunai? **Kaboom!** Shuriken? Blazing flare of fire. A birthday present? The little thing exploded with enough power to shot him high in the sky in a shrieking ball of fire! And what about A WHOLE DAMN TREE covered from roots to the tip of its branches in dozens of sheets of explosive paper? THAT HURTS!

The Saiyan Entity was just sure that if things continued in that fashion the damned blond stallion would find a way to make air explode as well, and Frank already had his ' _Bad-mood eye tick'_ return with a vengeance from his teenage years half an hour ago; he was plainly sick of the whole damn thing!

"NOPE! Wrong one, Dumbass!" the real Maddie and Rosie said from the other side of the garden before letting out an infamous " _ **BEEP! BEEP!**_ " call as they sprinted away with enough speed to have the grass under his feet catch fire.

" _Sigh!_ And what about you?" The saiyan tiredly asked to the clones in his hands, almost fearing the answer.

"I am a Bomb! **CLONE GREAT EXPLOSION!** " the Maddie and rosie-clones said as it blew-up with a flare of super-hot flames and a shock-wave that momentarily had the whole castle ' _jump up'_ from the ground of few meters.

"...Of course you realize, this means war!" Frank said, his face now blackened and still smoking, then he reaching behind his head to set-back a duck bill in front of his face, his own sprint to chase the escaping stallion leaving behind a tall wall of dust.

Frank had witnessed Maddie and Rosie's cloning abilities enough times and decided to do the same to " _Fight_ " the girls...if what the three were doing could be even remotely be considered fighting.

In fact, as soon as the mares entered the gardens they could see a Frank-clone and a Maddie and rosie-clones fighting in a setting resembling a mockery of a " _Cheap 70's king-fu movie_ "; out-of-sync voice acting, crappy special effects and costumes, bad dialogue and ruined back-ground music comprised.

In another corner another pair of clones had apparently decided that a "Disco-dance" show-down was what they needed to settle things down, with the Frank-clone sporting an over-sized afro hairstyle too.

"WHAT'S THIS GARBAGE, MADDIE?! That apple pie is so raw, fruit bats are trying to steal it! And that's what you call crust? I call it shit!" Chef Ramsey

"I AM SORRY, CHEF RAMSEY!" Maddie yelled in shame with a voice broken by barely-restrained tears.

the group found other two clones dressed as chefs standing to attention while a mysterious human was verbally destroying Maddie for his badly-made dish while praising the **Shadow Clone** of Frank for his good recipe, the babies keeping his head low and muttering "I am sorry, Chef Ramsey." from time to time with a defeated voice.

Passed the two clones going through a freestyle rap battle, the group could see Five Frank Shadow Clones wearing skin-tight spandex suits in different colors ( _and calling themselves the "_ _ **Stallion Rangers**_ _"_ ) facing Maddie wearing a flamboyant cape flapping around by itself even in the total absence of wind before "Somehow" ending with both groups having a Giant Robot fight with the rangers piloting a giant robot and Maddie with a giant robotic version of Dragonoid.

"Okay...this is getting ridiculous..." Meg muttered as the group passed an ALL-FEMALE version of the previous thing, this time with five clones of Rosie ( _Called "_ _ **Sailor witches**_ _" apparently_ ) fighting Frank with the supposed " _Power of Love_ " of their heart-shaped weapons.

"I guess Frank is trying to fight Chaos with Chaos..." Lilly tried saying.

"He is doing a darn good job at that!" Jenny answered sarcastic while watching transfixed the pie-eating contest two copies of both Frank and kids were going through.

"At least is not Karaoke," Meg said.

"Nope! They are doing that too! Frank has a great voice!" Lily answered smiling while pointing in a far corner of the gardens.

" _Shhh!_ Be vewy vewy quiet, I'm hunting wabbits!" came a voice from behind the group scaring them, it was another Frank; this time dressed as an hunter while carrying a long weapon.

"What the..." Meg was about to say before a short laugh interrupted her.

"Hey! What's up, Doc?" A Shadow Clone of Maddie with bunny ears replied from afar.

"Thewe it is!" The Frank Hunter said as he started chasing the Clone while shooting streamers and confetti from his hunting rifle.

"We are getting close, the less sense things make, and the closer Frank is...this way!" Lily said as the group moved faster towards the real duo after passing the _TWISTER_ show-down between two clones of both Frank and the girls and side-stepping the tango contest right after that.

"Where are they?" Lily asked confused.

"Excuse me? We were looking for the real Frank, Maddie and Rosie!" Jenny asked to the closest Frank clone.

"AAADRIIAANNN!" the Frank clone, completely trashed after an evident beating, with two black eyes and few missing teeth, yelled in answer while rising both his boxing gloves to the sky while flashes of photographers came out of nowhere around him.

"Thank you! He said to look that way!" Jenny said pointing at her right.

"You understood that?" Meg asked surprised.

"It was very clear, why?" Jenny asked back dumbfounded.

"Never mind...I think we should just continue on," Meg said sighing.

Further down the path, another pair of the Frank and girls clones burst into their path; these two wearing some odd clothes, Frank was wearing a black uniform with a metal badge on his chest while Maddie and Rosie was sporting black, thick material jacket and boots and sun-glasses; they also had a strange metal tube on their back that meg could tell focused magic.

"An invention of Frank, no doubt..." Lily muttered with narrowed eyes.

Frank-clone had one as well, smaller and in a different shape though, as he pulled it out and started squeezing the trigger it unleashed shots of chaos energy hitting Maddie and Rosie in the face but leaving the girls unscathed, although shocking the ones watching as where the shots had hit, the group could now see metal beneath the girl's flesh and a shining red light acting as eye.

As if offended by that wound ( _or the destruction of the sun-glasses_ ) the Maddie and Rosie-clones grabbed the tube on his back, threw the lever on the bottom, and shot his chakra out of it at Frank's head; The Group shock a large hole opened-up on the Saiyan Entity's head as it turned him to the side, before Frank straightened-up showing that beneath his skin there was some kind of liquid metal.

Facing his friends and family the girls-clone shot again and again until the girls fell the ground and didn't move before opening his mouth to speak in a strange, strong German accent. " _Ev'ryone_ , come vith me if ya want to _leeve_."

"No, I think not," Frank said, coming behind with the holes refilled and morphing his right arm into a large blade to stab the girls in the back, making the girls spin around, barrel placed to his forehead of the man, and fired again splitting the other in half.

"...Better to keep-a moving then," Maddie stated still in that strong German accent.

"Ookay...I think we can leave them do their thing." Meg proposed unnerved as the group discreetly crept away from the crazed trio that kept shooting each-other while spewing _macho, testosterone-filled_ one-liners.

"We are almost there! The room looks like jelly and the grass is made of clay, they must be close," lily said as the group kept trotting at top speed.

"What did they add now?" jenny said stopping before another new addition to the garden: a stone wall was now blocking the path with a set of stairs leading underground.

"Can we go 'round it?" Meg asked noticing how the way was blocked.

"Without walking Ah mean." Lily replied.

"There might be a way around, but that would mean have us going back through a dimension of purest chaos, the place from which Frank called the wall from," lily told them.

"Last one that managed surviving a trip through the ' _World of Imaginary Numbers_ ' was a really dark guy named Alucard, and I'm not sure you others could make the trip like me and jenny." lily then added.

"They are my beloved children that is fighting that abomination, we shall go and check to see if it is safe!" jenny said in determination.

Taking a deep breath she walked down the stairs into the delve, coming to an end she looked around curiously and almost didn't spot the group of Maddie, Rosie and _Franky_ clones up ahead waiting for her.

" _...AND YOU NOTICE AN ALICORN COMING UP BEHIND YOU. SHE HAS ALREADY SPOTTED THE PARTY._ " Frank's voice thundered all around there, but not painfully so, but almost like the source was much larger than the mother's themselves.

" _IS THE MOTHER HOSTILE?_ " This time it was Maddie that was talking.

" _NO, SHE APPEARS MORE CONFUSED THAN ANYTHING._ "

" _THEN MY ELF '_ _ **ALIIZSA: THE SPELL THIEF'**_ _WILL APPROACH HER_."

At those words one of the _Frankie_ clones turned around and walked towards Luna, carefully watched by the members of the party.

"What brings you down here to such a dangerous place?" This _Frankie_ clone had red hair, green eyes, and her ears came to a point way longer than normal; she held a staff on her back and several daggers and a short sword at her waist.

Jenny looked around a little confused for a moment as the scene seemed all too familiar for her.

"I-I am trying to find safe passage to the heart of the garden," she said, unsure as to why she felt the need to say it like that. "When we came upon this...passage, I felt it better to look before all others entered as well."

" _ROLL INTELLIGENCE CHECK FOR ALIIZSA,_ " Frank ordered, followed by a very familiar clattering.

" _I MADE IT._ "

" _YOU NOTICE FROM HER SPEECH AND POSTURE THAT THE ALICORN HOLDS HERSELF WITH MUCH REFINEMENT AND PRIDE. MORE OVER, NOT A HINT OF DIRT CAN BE SPOTTED ON HER DESPITE THE TRAVELING AND SHE IS IN INCREDIBLE HEALTH. YOU DETERMINE THAT YOU ARE SPEAKING TO A TRAVELING NOBLE_."

"...Wait a second! I GOT IT!" Jenny yelled looking up, she wasn't surprised to see that there was no roof to this place, instead, she just saw a giant Frank sitting behind a DM's screen and a giant Maddie looking over his character sheets with a frown.

" _THE ALICORN HAS JUST SHOUTED IN DENIAL AND SHOCK, HER VOICE ECHOING DOWN THE CORRIDORS AND ALERTING EVERYTHING THAT YOU ARE THERE."_

" _NICE GOING,_ " Maddie grumbled face palm.

Jenny looked to the two of them a moment before turning around and walking back out of the dungeon.

Did she think badly of her daughter for playing this? No, she played it too and was a veteran of that kind of games, but was she going to reveal this to anybody other than him? Nope!

"Sister, is the way safe?" lily asked worried

"Not in the least," jenny stated, which was true, if that was a dungeon crawl adventure then that meant traps, monsters, unfair DM and bad voice acting.

"We'll go around it." jenny answered shaking her head, secretly wondering just where she had left her character sheets and dice; it had been a thousand years since she had used them.

Maybe she could join in later after she had found the real two?

 _ **Showdown 2 -**_

Meg was leading the others around yet another corner to evade a new bunch of crazy clones of a girls and a Saiyan when suddenly they were no longer in the garden.

"What the hay..." Meg muttered with a raised eyebrow.

The surroundings had abruptly changed into some kind of...Ship Bridge out of an old TV Series.

Looking behind her she couldn't see the garden or the others anymore, but they quickly joined her from a near door, all to her elation.

On the deck they could see many Maddie and Rosie clones sitting at high-tech stations, in the center of which was a copy of Maddie with a long mane but with a red uniform, next to her was a frank clone with a beard and behind them one that was black, this one sporting a gold uniform and a sash across his chest and back.

Up front, looking at a large screen, two more clones in gold uniforms were waiting for orders, one with some kind of strange glasses and the other with a combed-back mane, pale skin, and strange golden eyes.

"Mister Data, where is the ' _Warbird'_?" Maddie asked.

"Position unknown, Captain! Subspace scanners are not finding any trace of the Draconian vessel." Rosie clone said.

Suddenly the screen changed and a picture of Frank appeared, standing in a rather squarish uniform with a subtle smirk on his face.

"I see you, Maddie. But do you see me?" Frank asked amused.

"FraQord! What is the meaning of attacking my ship!? Why take control of a Romian ship!?" Maddie said in anger.

"Oh come now captain, this is how you truly prefer it, is it not? A great battle to the end is the only thing fitting a warrior such as yourself. Once more into the breach!" frank said.

"Q! I will not be part of some game!" Maddie said as she not play game with him.

" _Au contraire, mon capitan!_ The game has already begun and there is no stopping it. And so it begins." Frank answered before the communication went closed, making the screen to back to show a starry sky.

"Shields up! Mister Data, begin a random firing pattern to optimize zones our phasers can reach!" Maddie told her order to her crew.

"Yes Captain." Rosie clone said.

"Number One, take command of the Battle Bridge." Maddie said her orders.

"Yes Captain," the one with the beard said nodding.

"Mister LaForge, you're with me." Maddie said as soon as the clone turned around she saw The Group and stood to attention.

"Ladies, if you come with us, we shall get you on your way." she said with a gentle tone.

"Mister Worf, fire a barrage," In the meantime the Captain ordered as the battle continued.

"Firing... No effect." Rosie clone said.

"Royal Canterlot Garden." ' _LaForge_ ' said as the door slid shut behind the group before re-opening to show a long hallway.

"Just step right through," the clone simply told them.

"...Maddie, you...this..." Meg sighed in defeat.

"Yes?" Maddie said her response.

"Are you and frank the Best of Enemies or the Worst of Friends?" Meg asked her about her relationship with her husband.

In answer the speakers came to life with the Captain's voice barking orders with a sharp tone.

" _Hit right!_ " she said making the two clones jerk to the right.

" _Hit left!_ " Now making they move to the left.

" _Shimmy!_ " she then ordered.

"...Your daughter is having too much fun with this," lily stated before walking through the door leading the group of mares back into the gardens.

"That she is, sister, which she is..." Jenny replied sighing. "But I must admit it, his ' _Worf'_ alter-ego did seem quite _studly_."

The trio of Real Frank, Maddie and Rosie, the mares could see that they weren't even trying to fight, apparently happy to just leave the clones deal with that for them.

"Hahahaha! I can't believe it!" Frank said with watering eyes.

"It's true! I even got pictures!" The real Maddie answered with a similar laugh and producing a stack of pictures.

"What happened?" Frank said as he gets up from his seat.

"Frank, you won!" Meg said as he tells him that he won.

"My God, nobody's ever beat us at being awesome." Maddie said in shocked on what just happened.

"Now do you believe that I'm your dad?" Frank said as he hoped that the girl finally believe in him being their father.

"Nobody but our father could handle that much of the crazy creature." Maddie said as she started to believe in him.

"We're the broth of your own stubby shillelagh, all right. Welcome dad to our family." Rosie said as they ran and hug him, frank was happy.

Until he remember something that he forgot to asked the girls mother's.

"But there is one thing, jenny and lily. You two knocked each other up and never called me ever." Frank asked the girls mothers

"Yeah, so what?" Lily said as she doesn't know what the problem is.

"So what? So let's party!" Maddie said as she want to party at Her father house.

As we join Peter and the members of the NAAFP are at the funeral of one of their members who was killed by Patrick

"Michael was one of our brothers, he was a good man, he was a kind man, and he was a fat man."Peter said the eulogy of one of the member of the NAAFP who died from Patrick.

"And now he's a dead man, and we're all next. The fat guy strangler's gonna get us."Man 1 said as he panics

"He's right!" Man 2 said in agreement.

"Oh my God!" Man 3 said as well.

"We're finished!"Man 4 said as he cries in pain.

"Can someone tie my shoe?"Man 5 asked about his shoe being tied.

Until Peter shouts at the fat people to calm them down.

"People, people. I know what will make us feel better. Let us sing the NAAFP anthem." Peter said as they sing the "NAAFP Anthem" in his memory.

 **Everyone** _  
Stand up all fat men  
Stand up straight  
Stand up because no chair can hold your weight_

 _If God created us to be so big  
That's proof  
He must be a big fat pig_

 _God's really flabby with an ass so wide  
His arms look like pillows with cake mix inside  
God's man boobs are flabby and they hurt when he jogs  
And the back of God's neck looks like a pack of hot dogs_

Now we join Peter with his fellow fat guys entering the Mallque house. As Peter brings the fat men to his home to protect them.

"All right everybody, just make yourselves at home. Lois, these are the fat guys. Fat guys - Lois." Peter introduce Lois to his fat guys.

"My God, look at you fat bastards. I bet none of you can even find your own penis. Find your penis for a dollar! Find your penis! One dollar! One dollar! Find your penis! Find your penis here!" Stewie said as he bribes them for find their penis for one dollar.

"Peter, what's going on?" Lois asked him on why they are here.

"Lois, my people are in danger. Until they find the Fat Guy Strangler we will stay..." Peter explain that he brings the fat men back to his home to protect them.

Until Tyler spot something wrong in the living room.

"Victor, don't lean against that!' Tyler said as he notice victor lean on Persephone.

But Victor fell on her which cause John to panic and he pushed victor off of Persephone.

"Hi, everybody!" Patrick said as he return back home.

This cause Brian to panic and he tells peter the truth about Patrick.

"Peter, you've got to get these guys out of here. Patrick is the murderer." Brian said as he told peter about Patrick identity as the killer.

"What?" Frank said out loud as he return with Maddie and Rosie to tell them the news until her heard what just happen.

You son of a bitch. Peter said after he learning from Brian that Patrick is the killer.

Then all the fat guys were piss off as they all corner Patrick to the wall of the living room.

Until Lois tries to stop it.

"Don't listen to Brian. He doesn't know what he's talking about." Lois said until peter push her aside.

"Out of my way, Lois, your brother is toast! Warm, buttery toast." Peter said as he promise at kill Patrick like butter toast.

This caused the fat guys to stop and think about the comment and food.

"That's sounds good." Man 1 said as he drool over the floor.

"I love toasts." Man2 said as he love to eat toast right now.

"I've just found my penis." Man3 said as he found his penis right under his fat.

Until Lois warns her brother to run away.

"Run, Patrick, run!" Lois shouted at Patrick to run.

As Patrick ran out the door in a flash.

"After him!" Peter shouted as he and the fat men ran after Patrick.

"Boys, to your rascals!" Frank Jr said as he and the fat guy went on their rascals and chase him.

The chase between the fat men and Patrick ensues until they stop at James woods.

"He went into James Woods, let's spread out and fined him." Peter said

"We'll head him..." Todd said until a chicken came out of his mouth.

"Todd, man, you've got to chew your food." Frank Jr said

As we join Brian still at the house with Lois plus john and Emily, They went upstairs to show Lois the truth.

"Brian, I know my brother, he couldn't have done these things." Lois

"Well, let's see if you feel that way when you see this!" Brian said as he open the door.

"Look." John said as he and Brian shows Patrick's room to Lois

John, Emily, Brian and Lois enter Patrick's room, photos of Patrick himself strangling fat people are covering the walls.

"My god!" Emily exclaimed feeling terrified when she saw the two and half fat men.

She then realized something as she looked back at Lois and she still doesn't believe it what she has saw.

"So he has a few pictures of him strangling fat guys, that doesn't make him the fat guy strangler!" Lois continues to make exaggerated excuses.

"Seriously?" Emily asked on Lois behavior

As Brian runs over to the bed, lifts up the sheet.

"Oh yeah, What about the dead fat guy under his bed?" John explain as he open up the cover to revel a dead fat guy under his bed.

"Coincidence?" Lois continues to make exaggerated excuses.

"What about the half-dead fat guy near the corner?" Brian said as he is pointing a half-dead fat guy near the corner of the room.

"Patrick tried to kill me." Half-dead Fat Guy responded.

"Well, maybe it's a different Patrick." Lois said as she still wanting to believe her brother is a nice person.

"Mom/Mrs. Griffin/Lois!" Brian, Emily and john shout at her to wake up.

"Okay, Okay! Lois said as she calm down her family until ultimately she snaps out of her denial and realizes that Patrick is a threat.

"Oh God Peter's out there with him!" Lois said as she finally, she gives in and believes everything.

Until someone shout at them to stop, as it revel to be the Half-dead Fat Guy.

Wait! You gonna eat that dead fat guy? Half-dead Fat Guy asked them if they are gonna eat that dead fat guy.

Nobody responded him until Frank and the girls came into the room to respond to the question.

"Question why are you eating the dead fat guy!" Frank asked him on why he wants to the dead fat guy.

"I'm eat a dead fat what?" Half Dead Fat Guy said in response as he is confused by the question.

The half dead fat guy looked at what he's been eating and then feels booth shaken and terrified and then starts to puke until he's skinny.

"OH MY GOD! I've been so hungry I was hallucinated and mistaken it for ham!' Half Dead Fat Guy said as he begin to realized that he was eating a person like a carnival

"Eyep!" Maddie said as she close the door.

"How are we going to find him?" Lois asked Brian on what to do as it's up to her and Brian to save Peter from being strangled.

"Don't worry, Lois, I'm good at finding people. I was the one who found Bush after Hurricane Katrina." Brian said as he set up a cutaway about himself finding Bush after Hurricane Katrina.

 **Cutaway**

Brian goes to Crawford, Texas to find George W. Bush hiding in a treehouse.

"Mr. President, are you up there?" Brian asked.

"Go away" Bush warned.

"Sir, there's a disaster" Brian said.

"I'm reading Superfudge" Bush said.

"You gotta deal with this" Brian pleaded.

"Don't make me do stuff" Bush refused.

Then Frank Jr came by to help Brain.

"You have to do stuff because you're the president, dummy!" Frank Jr said.

 **Cutaway Ends**

As we join our selves at James woods while Peter was alone in the wood looking for Patrick.

"Patrick! Patrick! Oh crap, I guess we've lost him. Well, nothing left to do but finish the sentence on interrupt..." Peter said as he let go of his guard down.

Until Patrick surprise him by strangling Peter, this cause Lois, Emily, john, Tyler, and Frank Jr arrive to help.

Patrick, let him go. Lois shout at her brother to let go of peter.

Don't come any closer! Patrick shouted back.

"Really Patrick?" Lois asked "What about your wife? I bet she doesn't have have the chance to see what what happens when you killed my husband."

"What are you-" Before Patrick could finish, Emily leaped down from the tree and acted like she got a hold of Patrick's wife.

"Surprise!" Emily exclaimed as she smirked "Bet you didn't see that one coming Uncle Patrick. Now let my dad go or else she gets it!"

"Your not holding my wife." Patrick said in response.

"What?" Emily asked confused

"She's right over there." Patrick said pointing to where she's at.

"Oh. I see." Emily said After a three second pause.

She went to the spot Patrick pointed and act like what she was doing earlier.

Don't hurt her! Patrick shout in panic.

Now let him go! Emily shout at him as she threatens to stab Marion, his imaginary wife.

As Brian sees a rock on the grass. He picks it up and throws it at Peter.

"Ahh! You missed!" Peter shout in pain.

No, I didn't! That's for rolling up the damn window when I tried to jump into The General Lee! Brian said as he takes the opportunity to get even with Peter for leaving up the car window in "To Love and Die in Dixie".

Until Frank Jr sees a rock on the grass. He picks it up and throws it at Brain's head.

"And that's for making me and stewie eat broccoli that one time when grandpa went on his no TV Streak." Frank Jr said back as everyone was getting even with everybody.

As Lois and Patrick went to talk alone in the wood.

"I'm sorry, Lois. I've never meant to hurt anybody. I mean I did mean to kill those fat guys, but I've never meant to hurt you." Patrick apologizes, telling Lois that he never meant to hurt her.

"You may be very sick, Patrick, but I love you. You're my brother, and you'll always be my brother." Lois said

I have to go back to the hospital, don't I. Patrick said as Lois nodded, the two agree he should be sent back to the mental hospital.

"Yeeah, I'm afraid so." Emily said as she join in to the conversation.

Until peter ruin it by appear near them.

"Hey Patrick, did you see that rock hit me in the face? It was like Pow! Right in the kisser." Peter said as he repeatedly using one of Kramden's catchphrases "Pow, right in the kisser!" it unintentionally frightens Patrick.

"Aaaaaahaaaa!" Patrick scream because of his trauma

"Stop screaming, you can't hear me." Peter shouted back.

Now we join the family back at the living room, as they think about Patrick.

"I miss Uncle Patrick." Frank Jr said as he miss his crazy uncle.

"Don't worry kids, I promise we can visit him once a month." Lois said as she and the family plan to visit him once a month.

"We'll be his period." Chris replied with John and Tyler nodded in agreement.

"But not too soon, I hope!" Emily muddler in silence.

Until Frank and Meg shocked everyone in the room with their news.

"Also I found out that I have two awesome daughters!" Frank said as he revel that he has daughters.

"WHAT!" Everyone shouted in shocked.

Until Frank Jr and Stewie found something in their room and went down stairs to talk about.

"I just found a half dead fat guy eating a dead fat guy under my mom's bed!" Frank Jr said as he explain what he saw in his mother's room.

As No one answers and Meg plus Persephone begin to panic about explain this to Frank Jr and Stewie.

"Uh-huh. So I guess we're just looking the other way, huh?" Stewie said as the chapter ends with a fade to black.

 **Chapter end**

 **I hope everyone enjoyed! This is thanking for pen123 and Family Guy Fan writer 15, Thank you all for cutaways, scenes, favoring, having me on alerts and with that. So enjoy and see you next chapter.**


	19. Chapter 68:the dad,the son and the fonz

**Chapter 68: The Father, The Son and the Holy Fonz**

 **Narrator** _  
_ _Fresh out the net box  
Stop, look, and watch  
Ready yet, get set  
It's Family Guy!_

We see paparazzi taking photos of the cast as they come out of the limo and they walk on the red carpet.

 **Chorus:**

 _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

First it show Frank waling out of the limo with a poster with the words "oh" and he poses for the camera.

Then its shows Meg comes in looking all sexy as she signs autographs while she winks at the fans.

Then it turn to Lois comes in hopping while grabbing rose as she gives a kiss toward the fans.

 **Chorus: **

_Check it, check it, check it  
Now this is just an introduction  
Before I blow your mind  
The show is All of That and yes we do it all the time_

Then it shows Frank Jr poses as he pull his hat down his chest as he throws a rose to the Fans.

Then next person to show up on the carpet is Stewie. As he flips his hat back to his head while he give autographs to fans.

Then Brian comes in sliding on the red carpet as he waves at the fan as he walks in _._

 **Chorus:**

 _so sit your booty on the floor or in a chair  
Ground or in the air  
Just don't go nowhere_

Then Emily comes in give autographs as she smiles at the fans as she tells one of her fans to call her.

Then the scene shows Persephone puts a rose on her mouth with a sexy angry look on her face.

 **Chorus: **

_Cause everything we do  
It's all of that!  
When entertaining you  
We all of that!_

Then Chris shimming down the carp as he gives the fan a shout out.

Then Peter slide towards the carpet as he flips his hat back on his head.

 **Chorus:**

 _M_ _y posse and my crew  
It's all of that!  
So sit still cause we're coming right back_

Then the scene shows John throws a rose at his fans.

As the scene, changes to Tyler puts on rose his mouth as he gives everyone thumbs up.

 **Chorus:**

 _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

Then scene change to the Family Guy MC Cast walks down the stairs as they take a group photo while looking gangsters of the 80. All this while music ends as the scene fades to black.

Now we join ourselves at the Mallque/Griffin house as we see in the living room was John, Tyler, Meg, Frank, Persephone, Frank Jr, stewie, Emily and Brian on the couch watching TV.

"We now return to The Adventures of Aquaman." Announcer guy said

As we see Aquaman on a couch watching TV until He attempts to use his powers to call a fish.

"Yeah?" Fish said

"Hey, can you grab me another beer?" Aquaman said as tries to convince a fish to get him a beer.

"Yeah. Anything else? Maybe a TV guide and another pillow for your feet?" Fish said as he asked him if he wants more.

"No, actually, get me, like, a Dewar's and soda. And try to keep the saltwater out of it if you could." Aquaman asked for Dewar's and soda and he asked to try to keep the saltwater out of it.

"Try, Try to keep the salt? We're surrounded by saltwater. It's difficult." Fish said as he argue about try to keep the saltwater out of it.

"I know. I'm just saying I'm just saying try." Aquaman said as he tells him to try.

"Want me to wipe your ass too?" Fish said as he resists and claims that he is abusing his powers.

"That's a helpful tone." Aquaman says that this time could've been used to get him a beer.

"I'm just saying. You're abusing your powers a little bit." Fish said as they begin to argue about it.

"This is time that could be spent getting me my beverage." Aquaman says that this time could've been used to get him a beer.

As we see Peter comes into the living room.

"What are you doing? We gotta get ready for your grandpa's 80th birthday." Peter said as he is preparing his devout Catholic father, Francis, visits Quahog.

"Calm down. He's just your father." Brian said as he calms down peter.

While John and Tyler start to freak out about Frances Griffin coming to visit.

"Wait Brian, Frances Griffin is coming. Oh man I hate that guy!" John said as he doesn't like that guy at all.

"That guy is the worst, j-man's girl got harass by just think about boy's dude!" Tyler said as he explain that Persephone was harass by Frances for just liking boys.

"But I love him. His folksy racism, his "I don't care where I am" flatulence. And the way it seems like he's chewing even when there's no food." Peter said as he just loves his dad a lot which shocked the boys for such devotion.

As the doorbell rings and peter rush toward the door. It is reveal to be Francis Griffin.

"Hiya, Dad." Peter said hello to his father.

"Francis, it's so good to see you." Lois said hello to peter's father.

"Lois, you haven't changed a bit, you lying bitch." Francis said hello to Lois while insulting her. But she laughs it off.

"Why don't you come into the dining room? The table's all set for your birthday dinner." Lois said as she let Frances in and she tells him the table's all set for his birthday dinner.

Until Peter interrupts her.

"Actually Lois, Dad said he would prefer it if you did not join us. You know, you being a Protestant and all. Peter said as Frances said he would prefer it if Lois did not join them, for her being a Protestant and all

"He said it's OK if you sit at the kids' table." Frank Jr said as he was in his grandpa arms.

But it just piss off Lois and she got in their face.

"I cooked the damn dinner." Lois shouted her responses at their faces which scared Frank Jr into Peter's shirt.

"I knew you were gonna react like this. That's why I brought Bill Lumbergh to explain it." Frank said as Bill Lumbergh came in with a cup of coffee.

"Yeah, I'm gonna need you to go ahead and not complain about this. And if you could go ahead and sit at the kids' table, that'd be great." Bill Lumbergh said as he drinks his coffee after he argue a good comeback to Lois.

Now we join the Mallque/Griffin family eating in the table while Lois is eating at the kids table with Stewie but not Frank Jr since Frances likes him.

"I'm just saying, '70s boobs were different. I don't know." Stewie said as he tries to make conversation with his mother.

But she is still piss off by not being in adult table since she make the food in all.

This caused both Frank Jr and Stewie gets piss off.

"It won't kill you to contribute to the conversation." Frank Jr said from the other table.

"Dad, tell us about World War I, and how America defeated Kaiser Permanente." Peter:

"Lois, when are you gonna get that baby baptized?" Francis Griffin said as he insists that Stewie be baptized Catholic.

This comment irritated Lois at the kid's tables.

"Oh, God, not this again. Francis, why the hell is this always an issue with you?" Lois said as she asked Frances why the hell this is always an issue with him.

"Because I love this family, and I don't want my grandson to burn in Hell! And my great grandson is already baptized, thanks to his parents being good catholic!" Francis said as he explain that Stewie will go to hell if he isn't baptized.

Also Frances points out Frank Jr already baptized and his parent already bow for it.

"I love you, Grandpa. Your toenails are the same color as my school bus." Chris said as he compared Frances toenails are the same color as his school bus.

"Do you really think that splashing "magic water" on Stewie will keep him out of Hell?" Brian asked him that he believes that splashing "magic water" on Stewie will keep him out of Hell.

"Watch that kind of talk, or you'll get your heathen head smacked!" Francis said as he threatens him with smack his head with said bible.

"That's very Christian. Believe what I say, or I'll hurt you." Brian said what Frances mean for Christians.

"Now you're gettin' it!" Francis said as he smacks Brian with a bible.

Now we join Frank, Frank Jr and Peter are watching TV in the living room as Lois comings in with sour tone.

"Peter, we have a problem." Lois said as she is annoyed.

Until Peter interrupts her.

"Hang on, Lois. I'm watching a movie." Peter said as he tells her he and the boys are watching TV.

"And now back to Jaws 5, Fire Island." Announcer guy said as Peter and the Boys watches Jaws 5: Fire Island, where everybody seems to be a stereotypical homosexual.

"You think we should be this far out?" Mark said as he asked about swing so far.

"Stop worrying, Mark. We'll be fine." Mark friend said to his friend about stop worrying.

As Jaws appear underneath the ocean ready to eat them.

"Hey, I'm gonna eat y'all. I'm gonna eat that hairy leg. I'm gonna eat that one too. I can see right up them shorts. I got a whole bunch of rows of teeth to chew you with." Jaws said as he feel hungry.

"Now, wait a minute. I did have a chubby kid on a raft earlier today." Jaws said as he questions himself over eating.

"It's OK, though. I've been swimming a lot lately." Jaws said as he eats the homosexuals.

"MMN, Yummy, MMN." Jaws said as he likes homosexuals.

As we are back at the living room with Frank, Frank Jr, Peter and Lois.

"Peter, your father won't let up about Stewie getting baptized. I am sick of him always trying to force his religious views on us." Lois said as she is sick of him always trying to force his religious views on to them.

"All right, I'll talk to him, Lois, but, uh, you know, when my dad wants something, it's like sex with Kobe Bryant." Peter said as he try to stop his father.

"You can kick and scream all you want, but it's gonna happen." Frank Jr said as he see Frances as Kobe Bryant.

As John and Tyler arrive to hear what Peter and Frank Jr said about Frances.

"Gross Mr. Griffin, that was just gross!" Tyler said as John nodded in agreement.

Now we see Frances hanging a cross near the door way.

"Dad, what are you doing?" Peter asked his father on what he is doing.

"There's no cross! Every kitchen needs one." Frances explain why he is doing this.

"Nothing says "eat up" like a bleeding half-naked Jew nailed to a piece of wood." Stewie said sarcastically about Jesus.

"Listen, Dad, I gotta talk to you. Lois was wondering if maybe you could I don't know, ease up on the whole Jesus-ay Christ-ay, if you catch my drift?" Peter asked his father to ease up on the whole Catholic.

"You're a lapsed Catholic, Peter. Your wife's a Protestant whore and your baby isn't even baptized!" Frances argues back with peter's decisions.

"All right, Dad. I don't want you to hate me, so I'll make a deal with you. If we get Stewie baptized, you and all other old people have to acknowledge and be aware there's crap in the corners of your mouth." Peter said as he finally agrees with him.

"I'll think about it. Now let's go!" Frances said as they get ready to go.

Now we zoom in on Frank Jr and Stewie in peter's arms talking to the audience.

"Old people are gross, no matter how cute they try to be on Desperate Housewives. Go ahead, switch over to ABC for five seconds. I'll wait five seconds." Stewie tells the audience to go watch Desperate Housewives on ABC for five seconds to see how ugly the women are.

"Oh, my God. Did you see? Did you see how old and ugly they are?" Stewie said as he tells them how ugly they are.

"Oh, my God, that redhead looks like somebody poured Silly Putty over their knee." Frank Jr makes a comment about actress Marcia Cross's face looking like someone stretching silly-putty over their knee.

Now we join Frank Jr, Stewie, John, Tyler, Francis and Peter go to St. Philip's church.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Griffin, but I can't baptize little Stewie today. Our last shipment of holy water is tainted." The priest said as he refuses to baptize Stewie because he claims the holy water is tainted.

"Tainted? Holy water? How did that happen?" Frances asked him as it set up a cutaway about how the holy water was tainted.

 **Cutaway**

Now are at Italy near the Vatican as we hear a flushing noise in one of the restrooms.

We see a priest coming out of the bathroom without washing his hands, despite the fact that there was sign that all employees must wash their hands before returning to work.

 **Cutaway Ends**

"We'll call you when we get a new shipment in." The priest said as he leave the group alone

"There's no such thing as tainted holy water. Come on! We'll do it ourselves." Frances said as he does not believe this and decides to do it himself.

As Frances picks up Stewie and puts him near the baptismal font.

"Stewie Griffin, I baptize you, in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost." Frances said as he used the priest chant to bless Stewie.

"And Space Ghost." Peter and Frank Jr said as they add that last part which made John and Tyler confused.

"What are you doing?" Stewie said in question.

Until Frances pushes Stewie onto the baptismal font.

"Man, this is going to piss off Mrs. Griffin!" John said as Tyler nodded in agreement.

"Nobody said nothing to Lois okay!" Peter said as the boys now feel guilty as Stewie rise from the tainted holy water.

"Oh, my God. This is almost as bad as my bath with Kathy Bates." Stewie said as he sets up a cutaway about himself bath with Kathy Bates.

 **Cutaway**

We see Stewie in the Jacuzzi as a naked Kathy Bates enter.

"Yeah, I think I'm going to get out" he said.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we are back at the Mallque/Griffin house in the living room as Stewie enter and he doesn't feel good.

"Stewie, you don't look so good." Emily said as she look at Stewie soon becomes unwell.

"Baby, you're burning up." Lois said as she takes Stewie temperature and he is very hot.

As Stewie moans until he faints and Lois pick him up.

"Oh, my God." Emily shouted as she rushes to Lois to see her brother if he is okay!

"Stewie! Stewie! Speak to me." Lois said as she tries to wake her son.

"Don't…don't take me to a black doctor." Stewie said until he faints.

Now we join Peter and Lois with the boys at the health care center as they take Stewie to get check.

As the doctor came into the waiting room to inform the parent about Stewie's condition.

"Mr. and Mrs. Griffin, I've examined your son and he is suffering from toxic anemia, which has weakened his immune system." The doctor said as he explains that Stewie is suffering from toxic anemia.

"Is he gonna die?" Lois asked if her son will die.

"No, but he's vulnerable to infection. He must be in a germ-free plastic environment." The doctor said as he explain that he must be quarantined and kept in a germ-free environment for the time being until his immune system's strength recovers.

"Oh, My God, you mean like John Travolta in that movie?" Lois said as she relates Stewie to John Travolta's movie.

"Oh, no. You're gonna take his face off, like in Face/Off?" Frank Jr said as peter and he get worried as they sets up a cutaway about Stewie being in face/off?

 **Cutaway**

Stewie and Brian had their faces switched.

"It looks like the operation was a success. Do you know what the best part of this is? Try licking yourself" Stewie with Brian's face said to Brian with Stewie's face.

As Brian with Stewie's face tries licked himself.

"You bastard!" he cursed.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we are back at the waiting room.

"Pops, He meant The Boy in the Plastic Bubble." Frank explain about what Lois has meant.

"How could this have happened?" Lois asked the doctor on how Stewie got sick?

"It's obvious to me that Stewie's been exposed to tainted holy water." The doctor said a quickly and correctly diagnoses Stewie's condition as exposure to tainted holy water.

This made John and Tyler guilty and they made a confection.

"Mrs. Griffin, me and John have something to tell you!" Tyler said as he starts explain what happened.

"Frances coaxed Mr. Griffin into having Stewie baptized without your knowledge." John said as he tell her what happened.

"Peter, you had Stewie baptized behind my back?" Lois said as she discovers that Francis coaxed Peter into having Stewie baptized without her knowledge.

"Is no worse than when I rented out your uterus to those inner-city immigrants." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about renting Lois's uterus to inner-city immigrants.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter and a visibly pregnant Lois in bed, with lights glowing and traffic sounds made inside Lois.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Back to peter and Lois.

"Peter, you're a complete slave to your father's religion." Lois asks Peter if he is slave to his father religion.

As Emily joins in the conversation.

"What about your religious beliefs?" Emily tells Peter to choose his own religious beliefs

"You have a choice, you know." John said in agreement.

"I do?" Peter said in question of himself for having a choice.

"Of course. You're a grown man. You can pick any religion you want." Emily said as she Lois and john sending him on a quest to find a religion, not allow himself to be a slave to his father's religion.

"Really? You know, Guys, maybe you're right. Maybe I should pick my own religion. The question is, which one?" Peter said as he question on what religion to pick.

"I tell you what you can pick… a tune on the piano." Vern said as he sing his song.

 **Vern**

 _Fatty's in little jam, dead girl, dead girl_

 _Fatty's in litt…_

"How the whiz-bang does the rest of it go? Quick, make something up." Vern said as Johnny the pianist has never spoke used their signature piano tune is "Galloping Gertie"

Now we are back at the Mallque/Griffin house as Peter and Frank Jr is with three women in the living room. That's when Lois and Emily came in and they look shocked.

"Peter, what are all these women doing in our living room?" Lois asked him about the tree women in the living room.

"I took your advice and picked a new religion…I'm gonna be a Mormon." Peter explain to his wife and daughter that he is trying to be a Mormon.

"A Mormon? Are you sure?" Emily asked him if he is sure about being a Mormon.

But Peter shrugs it off.

"Nailing a different wife every night? It's a no-brainer, Emily." Peter said as he reassure her.

"Lois, this is Kimmy, the checkout girl from the Korean market. Nancy, our postal carrier. And Tiffany, the woman who stands downtown and screams at traffic."

I ate a tube of Crest for dinner! Tiffany said as she gross out Frank Jr.

"Isn't she funny? She's definitely the Kramer of my Mormon wives." Peter said as he thinks tiffany is funny.

While both Emily and Frank Jr both nodded no!

"Nancy, get me a beer." Peter asked her for a beer.

"Mormons aren't allowed to drink alcohol." Nancy said as she told him that Mormons can't drink alcohol.

As Peter dragged multiple trash cans to the curb and Lois confront him.

\- Did you just throw those women away? Lois asked him if he throw those women away.

\- No. peter said as Lois went to check them until peter blocks them.

Maybe. Peter said as after being reminded by his Mormon wives that he couldn't be a Mormon and drink alcoholic beverages.

Now we join the family watching the news.

Also in the news, trouble at St Phillips Church. Diane said as she announce about St Phillips Church.

"That's right Diane. A shipment of tainted holy water could put some local babies in jeopardy. Tom said about a shipment of tainted holy water.

"Sounds dangerous, tom. Be careful next time you're at confession talking about cheating on your wife with that drag queen." Diane said as she rips on tom about him cheating on your wife with a drag queen.

"Whoa, that is harsh!" Frank said as John and Tyler nodded in agreement.

"At least you're in no danger, Diane. Since you only visit church to leave your self-delivered, half-dead newborns on the step. Coming up, how to turn your unwanted change into folding money." Tom said as he rips on Diane back with info about her leave her self-delivered, half-dead newborns on the step.

"Okay never mind!" Frank response to tom's ripping.

The news ends as we join the family on the couch and they stare at Stewie.

"You know, It's sad seeing Stewie in that plastic bubble." Meg said about see her brother like that.

"I think he looks like a bunny." Chris said as he thinks that Stewie is a bunny in a cage.

"Oh that's it, Chris, Keep laughing. When I get out of here, you're going to get it! I'll lull you into a false sense of security like those network television announcers." Stewie said as he sets up a cutaway about false sense of security of network television announcers.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter and Frank Jr are watching TV.

"Tonight on Mama's Family, Mama's got more than she can handle with the in-laws." the TV announced said in a light and airy tone which made them happy

"A deadly fire could spell death for a honeymoon couple on all new Hotel. "The TV announced said in dark and menacing for dramas.

Which cause them to change the channel.

"On Newhart, the stockings are stuffed with comedy as Bob plays Santa." The TV announced said in in a light and airy tone which made them happy again.

"Then a sniper's bullet threatens a partnership on all-new Cagney & Lacey." The TV announced said in dark and menacing for dramas and scared both Frank Jr and Peter.

This caused both Frank Jr and Peter to change the channel again.

"Tonight on Night Court, love is in the air when Judge Harry's old school flame comes to town." The TV announced said in in a light and airy tone which made them happy and safe.

"Then a child's death could mean the case of Arnie Becker's life on LA Law." The TV announced said in dark and menacing for dramas as they both froze in horror.

"Night Court at eight. LA Law at nine" the TV announced said in both tones and it cause them to change their reaction by each tone.

As Peter and Frank Jr listens to television announcers that describe comedies in a light and airy tone, then switch to dark and menacing for dramas. ABC in the 1980s and 1990s was known for doing this.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we are back at the living room as MEG, Persephone, Chris, John, Tyler and Emily are on the couch while Frank Jr and Frank were laying on the carpet.

"Remember, don't touch Stewie. He's not allowed to have any human contact." Lois said to the kids about not touch Stewie.

As Lois is changing Stewie in the bubble, but she hears a telephone ring and she leaves him to answer the phone.

"Hey! Finish the job, idiot! For God's sake there's no ventilation, it smells like Brian Dennehey in here." Stewie:

"I see London, I see France, I see Stewie's unsightly chapped ass." Brian said as he makes fun of Stewie being naked in the bubble.

"Hey, gaybo,"Stewiesaid to Brian as he points him to his eyes

"I'm up here, up here." Stewie said as he treat Brian like a homosexual from checking him out.

Now we join Peter as tries another religion, he now rang the doorbell and the person responses.

"Hi. My name's Peter. I'm a Jehovah's Witness, here to spread the good news of the story of Jesus." Peter said as he tries Jehovah's Witnesses and attempts door-to-door preaching.

"OK. Go ahead." The person said as he actually interested in hearing what Peter has to say.

"Really? Wow! Boy! You're the first person who didn't slam the door on me." Peter said as He finds someone who is actually interested in hearing what he has to say!

"OK, well, Jesus was a miracle worker of sorts. He would travel from place to place putting things right that once went wrong and hoping each time that his next leap would be the leap home." Peter said as he fails to teach them anything about the religion and he sets up a cutaway about him describes Jesus going through a journey similar to Quantum Leap.

 **Cutaway**

We see Jesus in the intro to his show "Jesus Quantum Leap". Then he makes out with a blonde girl. A guy enters.

"What are you doing with my wife?" he threatened with a pitchfork.

"Uh oh" Jesus panicked as he looked at the audience with the words Executive Producer Donald P. Bellisario is displayed.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join Peter and Frank Jr at the Quahog Hinduism temple as Peter tries Hinduism.

"The pathway to enlightenment starts with an unfettered, focused mind." The Hindu leader explain to peter about Hinduism.

As Frank Jr and Peter zoom in on something on the man.

"Look out!" Peter said as he tackles the Hindu leader to the floor.

"What are you doing?" The Hindu leader asked him in anger.

"I thought that dot on your head was from a sniper rifle." Peter said as he believing the red dot on his head to be a laser spot from a sniper rifle

"Peter, this spot is a sacred adornment. It's a portal, an opening, through which all light, rejuvenation, joy and ecstasy may enter the human form." The Hindu leader explain that the dot is a sacred adornment and It's a portal, an opening, through which all light, rejuvenation, joy and ecstasy may enter the human form.

"A vagina?" Peter said as he thought the dot was women's vagina.

This piss off the Hindu leader.

"Get out!" Hindu shouted as he kick peter out.

Few hour later the Hindu leader knocks on Peter's door, bleeding from his forehead,

"You were right the Tilaka being a laser spot!" Hindu leader telling him that he was right about the Tilaka being a laser spot as he faints on the floor.

Now back to the living room with Brain and Stewie as Stewie is still inside his square bubble.

"Hey, Stewie, three o'clock. Time for the View." Brian said as he torments Stewie by forcing him to watch The View.

"No, no! Not again!" Stewie said as the TV turn on.

In this version, the women act very much like farm hens, clucking and such as they sit. Star Jones Reynolds even lays an egg.

"Let me out of here! I can't watch another second!" Stewie said as he tries to run out of the bubble but couldn't.

As Lois comes in with a human baby size hamster ball.

"Relax, Stewie. The doctor gave me this so you can get some exercise." Lois said as she tries to calm her son down.

"Boy! Stewie's more wound up than John was that time he took steroids." Chris said as he sets up a cutaway about john having taken steroids.

 **Cutaway**

"John, could you please pass the potatoes?" Lois asked a very muscular John. He spilled the salt and complained.

"Ahh! Damn it Peter!" John shouted in anger.

As he punched him.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the living room with Peter, Brain and Frank Jr watching TV.

"And now back to Happy Days." Announce guy said about the show happy day is on.

"That Fonzie is magic." Peter said as he and Frank Jr enjoy the show as Tyler comes in with the same agreement.

"I love how he hits the jukebox to make it work." Frank Jr said as we see the cutaway about the happy days show.

 **Cutaway**

"What is it Mr. C?" Fonz asked.

"Fonz, I wanted to pleasure Marion for our anniversary. But, as you know, I have erectile dysfunction" Mr. C explained as Fonz jabbed his groin.

"Oh, there we go" Mr. C smiled.

"Thank you Arthur" Marion said.

"HEY!" Fonz does his trademark phrase with thumbs up.

 **Cutaway Ends**

As Stewie comes in with himself inside a hamster ball.

"Brian, will you carry me upstairs? I want to look at my toys." Stewie asked Brian if he can carry him upstairs and he wants to watch his toys.

"No. I'm watching television." Brian said no and he wants to watch TV.

"Come on! I'm sick!" Stewie whines to Brian to just help.

Both John and Tyler roll their eyes by this moment but they fell guilty from not stopping Frances baptism. Until Brain cave in to peer pressure.

"All right. Come here." Brian said as he caves in and he walk toward the door with Stewie but he kick him out.

Now we join a couple exiting Quahog Fertility Clinic. They are a husband and wife with infertility problems.

"Todd, I feel like we'll never have a baby of our own." The wife said as she feels that she never have a baby of their own.

"We will, Kelly. You just have to visualize it. Come on, close your eyes. Picture a happy, healthy baby boy at play. Put him in a magic bubble and release him to the universe." the man name Todd tries to keep Kelly's hopes up by telling her to close her eyes and imagine a healthy, energetic baby boy inside a bubble running wild.

Meanwhile, Stewie Griffin is rolling and tumbling across town uncontrollably in his mobile protective health chamber, and unknowingly passes by the couple.

"Honey, now I want you to visualize Lindsay Lohan naked, doing a backwards crab walk." Todd tells his wife to imagine Lindsay Lohan naked and doing a backwards crab walk.

Todd Realizing his description was fit perfectly

"What?" Kelly said in question on what her husband is asking.

"Just do this for me!" Todd shouted as he need this. He wants his pervert fantasy to come true.

Now we join peter and Frank Jr on the couch, as Frances came by.

"Peter, where have you been, lad?" Frances asked him on where he has been.

"Dad, I was trying to find my own religion, but it didn't work out. I haven't been this disappointed since I lost my virginity." Peter said as he explain where has been and sets up a cutaway about how he lose his virginity.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter getting tackled by football players.

"Ah! uh-oh." Peter said in panic since he butthole been penetrated.

"Wanna get some breakfast or something?" one of them asked.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Back to the living room with Frances and Peter.

"You want to find religion, all you got to do is look in your heart. Who's always been there for you offering wisdom and truth? You've known him all along, son. Now worship him!" Frances said as he tells look in his heart.

"Oh, my God! Dad's right! There is only one person! And it's time for him to be properly worshipped." Peter said decides to create his own religion

"I, Peter Griffin, hereby establish the First United Church of the Fonz!' Peter calling his newly founded church the "First United Church of the Fonz", based on Happy Days.

This cause Frank Jr to look up and prayed.

"Fonzie, if this be your will, give me a sign." Frank Jr asked Fonzie if his will be done and asked him for a sign.

As the door is being knocked and Frank answer it to see Lohan appears at Peter's door doing a crab walk in the nude.

"I'm Lindsay Lohan and this is the way a crab walks." Lindsay Lohan said in the nude.

"It sure is!" Peter said in excitement with his grandson in agreement.

"Fonzie be praised!" Frank Jr said as he praised the holy Fonz.

"Haleooya!" John and Tyler shouted in cheer.

Now we join peter painting a barn red as it serves to be the first church of the fonz.

"All right, Dad! Two days ago this was an old barn. And now, thanks to you, it's an old barn with a sign on it." Chris

"All things are possible through the Lord God Arthur Fonzarelli." Peter said that all things are possible by Lord Fonz.

"So, you're going through with this?" Brian asked peter if he is really going with this.

"Absolutely. You know this place only cost me 100 bucks?" That's a better deal than that Aaron Neville megaphone." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about Aaron Neville megaphone.

 **(Cutaway 10)**

"I want to thank you guys for making me activity director for the day. OK, first of all, can every…body..." Peter talks through a microphone, but some of his lines are switched with the voice of Aaron Neville!

"What the hell? What the hell's wrong with this thing? OK. We're about to start the….sack… race!" Peter talks through a microphone, but some of his lines are switched with the voice of Aaron Neville again.

 **(Cutaway 10 Ends)**

Now we see Frank Jr and Peter still painting their church as Lois comes by while she holds up a "Church of the Fonz" poster.

"Peter, you've been posting these all over town. People are gonna think you're crazy." Lois said as she thinks this is not a good idea.

"Hey, how'd you like to lose a bunch of teeth? Oh, I'm sorry, Lois, that was uncalled for!" Peter said as he challenge Lois and then apologies to her.

"But that's what you get when you challenge someone's beliefs." Frank Jr explains to Lois that what happens when someone challenge someone else's beliefs.

"Peter, I know this is important to you. But I don't want to see you humiliated. I don't think anyone's gonna want to worship the Fonz." Lois said as she thinks nobody gonna want to worship the Fonz.

Until a man comes to them with a flier.

"Is this the church of the Fonz?" the man asked the about the church of the Fonz.

"Yes, it is." Peter reply as the man is happy.

"I read your flyer! Finally a religion that makes sense! Hey, everyone! I found him. Over here!" The man shouted to other people

To the Griffins' (mainly Lois') surprise, many people turn up for the first worship Stewie in the hamster ball rolls by to them and he was tired.

"Oh, there you are. You would not believe the morning I've had." Stewie said as he sets up a cutaway about his day.

 **Cutaway**

We see Stewie being rolled in a pinball machine a la The Electric Company. There was a countdown, up to the number 12.

 _ **The Pointer Sisters**_

 _One-two-three  
Four-five  
Six-seven-eight  
Nine-ten  
Eleven-twelve!_

The pinball finds its way through carnival

 _ **The Pointer Sisters**_

 _One-two-three  
Four-five  
Six-seven-eight  
Nine-ten  
Eleven-twelve!_

Then he goes through an amusement park-themed obstacles.

 _ **The Pointer Sisters**_

 _One-two-three  
Four-five  
Six-seven-eight  
Nine-ten  
Eleven-twelve!_

As Stewie riding a roller coaster, a ferris wheel, and some hanging airplanes

 _ **The Pointer Sisters**_

 _One-two-three  
Four-five  
Six-seven-eight  
Nine-ten  
Eleven-twelve!_

Until stewie being dropped into a clown's mouth that enters a haunted house of ghosts and ghouls.

 _ **The Pointer Sisters**_

 _One-two-three  
Four-five  
Six-seven-eight  
Nine-ten  
Eleven-twelve!_

The ball is then pushed by a locomotive, then a magnet attached to a plane picks it up and drops it into a tugboat, which then sinks.

 _ **The Pointer Sisters**_

 _One-two-three  
Four-five  
Six-seven-eight  
Nine-ten  
Eleven-twelve!  
_

This middle segment features a scene in which a number of contraptions moved the pinball about the interior of the machine.

 _ **The Pointer Sisters**_

 _One-two-three  
Four-five  
Six-seven-eight  
Nine-ten  
Eleven-twelve!_

 **Kids**

 _Twelve_

The exit of the stewie pinball from play.

 **Cutaway Ends**

As the organ of the church of the Fonz was playing, Frances and the rest of the family came in.

"What is this? I thought you said we were going to church!" Frances asked Lois on why they are here and he thought they were going to church.

"This is church. A new church, created by a man brave enough to follow his own vision." Lois explains to Frances that peter and Frank Jr made a church to follow their own vision.

As Peter, Frank Jr, John and Tyler come in robes to begin their sermon.

"Please rise." John said as the people rise.

"Now sit on it." Peter said as they sit down by peter's command.

"The Fonz be with you." Tyler said as he tells them Fonz is with them.

"And also with you." The people said as they told Tyler that the Fonz is with him too.

"Let us "hey"." Frank Jr asked them to "Hey".

"Hey." The people said as they command.

Now we zoom in to Brian and Stewie.

"I can't believe people are buying this." Brian said too much of his annoyance, who dislikes the idea that Peter is a religious leader.

"Hey, Fonzie's cool, Brian. Deep down, I think we all secretly yearn to be Italian and stupid." Stewie said as explain that people want to cool and stupid like Fonz.

"A reading from the letters of Potsie to the Tuscaderos." Frank Jr said as he opens the bible and he pass the reading to john so he reads a lesson to the congregation from "Potsie's Letter to the Tuscaderos", the Tuscaderos being a female motorcycle gang.

"Yea, and did Fonzie downstairs cometh from his apartment above the garage and sayeth he, 'Reassembleth will I the pieces of my motorcycle though I suffereth from temporary blindness." John said as he explain a story episode about fonz and then passes it to Tyler.

"And, yea, for I am holy, befriendeth I will Sticks Downy, the only Negro in Wisconsin." Tyler said about Fonz befriended sticks downy.

"Amen." Peter said as he reply "amen".

"Amen." The people said as they also reply "amen".

Now we are back at the Mallque/Griffin house in the living room with Brian, Emily and Meg sitting on the couch.

"What's that smell?" Meg asked about the smell location.

"Black spray paint." Brian said his response about the smell.

"What were you painting?" Emily asked him until she spots Stewie hamster ball painted black and she smack Brian off the couch for that. Cause she know what he did to Stewie.

"You think you're so funny. Well, as soon as I figure out where I am, you're dead, Brian!" Stewie said as he will get even with Brain for what he did.

Until Brian spins the ball and that cause Stewie to get dizzy.

"Dammit. I haven't been this dizzy since I did those helium whippets at that birthday party." Stewie said as he sets up a cutaway about him did those helium whippets at a birthday party.

 **Cutaway**

We see Stewie at a birthday party.

"OK, OK, ready? Here goes" Stewie inserts helium from a balloon inside his voice.

"I am a female. I have a high voice. I have reproductive organs inside of me and I buy groceries" he said in a high pitched voice.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we are back at the living room as Peter with Frank Jr in his arms walk inside threw the front door with Frances follow them.

"Peter, your religion is an abomination! I never thought you could ever embarrass me more than you did at Cousin Mary's wedding." Francis says that he thought that Peter could ever embarrass him more in a church as he sets up a cutaway about Peter when he did at his Cousin Mary's wedding.

 **Cutaway**

The scene shifts to a wedding. But Francis isn't shown in church during the flashback.

"If anyone knows of any reason why these two should not be married, let him speak now" the priest suggested.

"Really? Nobody's gonna speak up? I'm the one who's gonna have to say it? All right. Genital warts!" Peter was the only one against the marriage.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to Peter and Frances plus Frank Jr.

"But you said I should look into my heart to find my religion." Peter said as he is following what Frances had said.

"Yes! Real religion! What I saw today wasn't religion. It was just a bunch of sheep singing songs and listening to ridiculous tall tales!" Frances said as he tells him to find real religion not what he saw today.

"Actually, that is religion." Brian said as he tell Frances on what he has said that was religion.

"Shut your trap, Brian!" Frances shouted at Brian to shut up.

"Ha! You tell him!" Stewie said as he roll by while Emily chase him so she can clean the black spray paint from the ball.

"Why? I agree with you. Peter's found another way to exploit people's ignorance and that's wrong." Brian said as he dislikes the idea that Peter is a religious leader.

"You think I'm wr? See, Brian? That's a word the Fonz can't say." Peter said as he can't wrong cause of the Fonz.

"Because all is right when you welcome Fonzie into your life. Fonzie be with you." Frank Jr said as all is right when you welcome Fonzie into your life.

Both Frank Jr and Peter leave the room as Frances and Brain were all that left in the living room.

"I ought to take off my belt and slap the crap out of them!" Frances said as he feel that he should discipline them both by the belt.

That when Brian knew that had to stop Peter from continuing his new religion.

"Look, I don't like you and you don't like me. I suggest we set aside our differences and work together. I have an idea to snap Peter out of this." Brian said as he asked Frances joins forces with him to find a way to deter people from worshiping the Fonz.

"Work together? You and me?" Frances asked in shocked about him and brian working together.

"Sure. Sometimes opposites work well together. In fact, Frank Jr and Peter taught me that." Brian said as he sets up a cutaway about Frank Jr and Peter teaching Brain how to work together.

 **Cutaway 14**  
now we see Frank Jr and Peter entering and singing inside the music video of Paula Abdul's "Opposites Attract".

The scene is mixed both live action and animated.

As the song started with Frank Jr dress like skat cat laying around with sunglass until he smiles at the audience.

Then its show a poster of him in his crew saying, "M.C. Skat Frank and Posse!" with Frank Jr face on the right corner of the poster.

Now we see Frank Jr jumping down to the street into the spotlight to start sing.

 **Frank Jr**

 _I'm M.C. Frank on the rap, so mic it!_

 _Here's a little story, and you're sure to like it!_

 _Swift and sly, and I'm playing it cool…_

 _With my home girl, Paula Abdul!_

As Frank Jr and Peter as they took to the main dance floor!

 **Paula**

 _Baby, seems we never, ever agree…_

 _You like the movies, and I like TV!_

As Frank Jr started things off by doing some smooth moves while actually mouthing off the lyrics!

 **Frank Jr**

 _I take things serious, and you take'em light!_

The duo paid little attention to Brian and Stewie who were on a couch in a cartoon street, as they were in their own little world at the moment.

 **Paula**

 _I go to bed early_

 _ **Frank Jr**_

 _And I party all night!_

The two were dancing & moving to the beat and lyrics, almost in sync and in a way that was a beautiful sight to behold!

 **Brian and Stewie**

 _Our friends are saying_

As Paula leave them in the dust and made them sad but Frank Jr butt in by pushing them out of the couch. .

 **Frank Jr**

 _We ain't gonna last!_

As Paula sings her part about her being the opposite of Frank Jr behavior.

 **Paula**

' _Cause I move slowly_

As Frank Jr started things off by doing some smooth moves on the street with a spotlight.

 **Frank Jr**

 _And baby I'm fast!_

As a boom box was playing the beat, Frank Jr look on to a shadow of a female passing by which give him ideas. Which made Paula smile on how frank Jr is cute.

 **Paula**

 _I like it quiet,_

 **Frank Jr**

 _And I like to shout!_

As the scene changes to Brian and Stewie. As they are dress like fatz and taboo from the skat kat crew.

 **Brian and Stewie**

 _But when we get together, it just all works out!_

Frank Jr and Paula were showing moves that were really good, a mix of the dance styles of the late 1980s and their own which they added in to the music. The duo were starting to make a good scene on top of the trash cans, make it their dance floor.

 **Paula**

 _Two steps forward_

 **Frank Jr**

 _I take two steps back_

 **Paula**

 _We come together_

 **Frank Jr**

 _'Cause opposites attach_

 **Paula**

 _And you know it ain't fiction_

 **Frank Jr**

 _Just a natural fact_

 **Paula**

 _We come together_

 **Frank Jr**

 _'Cause opposites attach._

The two dancers were soon getting cheers from the crowd as they performed moves that were really good, very much honoring the original duo who made the song long ago. Dancing to some familiar music that made they continue on

 **Paula**

 _Who'd have thought, ah…?_

 **Frank Jr**

 _We could be lovers!_

As the scene change back and forth to Frank Jr and Paula as they talk about each other quirks.

 **Frank Jr**

 _She makes the bed,_

 **Paula**

 _And he steals the covers!_

 **Frank Jr**

 _She likes it neat,_

 **Paula**

 _And he makes a mess!_

 **Paula**

 _I take it easy,_

Frank Jr started to be like the legendary cartoon character MC Skat Kat, doing smooth moves around Maria that made both teenagers blush

 **Frank Jr**

 _Baby I get obsessed!_

As Frank Jr lays on top of Paula legs while he puts chips in his mouth.

 **Frank Jr**

 _She's got the money_

 **Paula**

 _And he's always broke!_

As Paula take his bag of chips from him and Frank Jr put a chip in Paula mouth.

 **Paula**

 _I don't like Junk food,_

 **Frank Jr**

 _And I like eat some food!_

As Frank Jr push Paula on the couch on her back as he close in her face then he goes for a kiss.

 **Paula**

 _Things in common,_

 **Frank Jr**

 _There just ain't one…_

 **Paula and Frank Jr**

 _But when we get together, we have nothing but fun!_

Paula playfully grabbed Frank Jr's collar and started to shake him. Once that was done, the two spun together and continued to dance! As we see them on some stairs.

 **Paula**

 _Two steps forward_

As Frank Jr and Peter walk upstairs with Paula following them until they went down stairs back words.

 **Peter and Frank Jr**

 _We take two steps back_

As Peter and Frank Jr got close to Paula when she stop popping off from which stairs she was.

 **Paula:**

 _We come together_

As peter get near the scene saying that his dress like a cat while they all dance on the stairs _._

 **Peter:**

 _'Cause I'm dressed like a cat_

As then scene change Paula and Frank Jr shaking their butts, they shrug off their cares as they climb one step.

 **Paula:**

 _And you know it ain't fiction_

As we see Frank Jr wiggle down the stairs like water with Peter join him _._

 **Frank Jr and Peter**

 _Just a natural fact_

 **Paula:**

 _We come together_

 **Peter:**

 _'Cause I'm dressed like a cat._

Now we see Peter saying his line while Frank Jr blows a kiss at Paula cheek, as she fall into a blur.

 **Frank Jr and Paula**

 _You know it_

 _Baby baaaaaaby_

As Frank Jr, and Peter were prepared to really move together for the next part that was coming in, very much wanting to do it like Skat Kat and Paula Abdul did in the music video. As then scene show Paula falling down until she is near Frank Jr on top of a building.

 **Frank Jr**

 _Nothing in common, but there's trust!_

 _We're like a minus, she's like a plus!_

 _One going up, two going down_

 _But we seem to land on common ground!_

 _Things go wrong, we make corrections!_

 _To keep things moving in the right direction!_

 _Try to fight it, but I'm telling you Jack!_

 _It's useless!_

 _Opposites Attract!_

When that particular set of lyrics came up, Frank Jr and Paula really moved in sync with one another. Frank Jr and Paula did not have much in common at the moment, Along with events and other stuff that would either make or break the friendship bond. But they also knew this; it was a mixture of obvious and subtle differences, and some similarities in some areas, that when mixed together in a right way… would prove that opposites did indeed attract one another!

 **Paula**

 _Baby ain't it somethin'_

 _How we lasted this long_

As Paula and Frank Jr walk in opposite ways on the stairs and Frank Jr used his red tail to lift up Paula's black dress until Paula smacks him off the stairs.

 **Frank Jr**

 _You and me (_ **Brian and Stewie** : _nah nah nah nah)_

 _Provin' everyone wrong_

Then we see Frank Jr back on the street light dances and then we see Brian and Stewie join in the song by hang on a fence. Then we see Frank Jr uses some smooth move on the street light

 **Paula**

 _Don't think we'll ever_

 _Get our differences patched_

As Paula dance alone and the scene changes to Frank Jr appear in front of Brain and Stewie. He then hit them in the face with his foot and knocks them out of the fence

 **Frank Jr**

 _HA!_

 _Don't really matter_

 _Cuz we're perfectly matched_

The two continued to show the views what they had, and it was something positive as soon Peter joined them on the dance floor! They started to boogie on the stage!

 **Paula**

 _I take two steps forward!_

 **Frank Jr**

 _Two steps back!_

 **Frank Jr and Paula**

 _We come together 'cause opposites attract!_

 _And you know, it ain't fiction!_

 _Just a natural fact!_

As Brain and Stewie woke up and they left their shyness at the door now, and they were also enjoying the night like it was meant to be! But for a majority of the views, all eyes were still on Frank Jr and Paula as they burned off the area they were in!

 **Frank Jr and Paula**

 _We come together cause…_

 _Opposites Attract!_

As then scene change to Frank Jr jump down and he is putting on a red tuxedo suit with tap shoes

 **Frank Jr and Paula**

 _I take two steps forward!_

As Brian and Stewie do a backward slide while they are sing their verse? We hear tap dancing.

 **Brian and Stewie**

 _Two steps back!_

As, Frank Jr, Peter and Paula actually started to show some tap-dancing moves! While their shoes did not make the noise that one would associate with regular tap-dancing shoes, they were moving very much like the stars in the music video when their song was just about up.

 _ **Frank Jr and Paula**_

 _We come together 'cause opposites attract!_

 _And you know, it ain't fiction!_

 _Just a natural fact!_

 _We come together cause…_

 _Opposites Attract!_

As it switch to Paula and Frank Jr tap-dancing moves to Frank Jr power walk moves on the street near the spotlight. Then scene changes to Brian and Stewie hopping at the build were Paula and Frank Jr were. Then it show Peter moon walking backwards as he grins at the audience

 _ **Frank Jr, Peter, Paula,**_ _ **Brian and Stewie**_

 _I take two steps forward! Two steps back!_

 _We come together 'cause opposites attract!_

 _And you know, it ain't fiction!_

 _Just a natural fact!_

 _We come together cause…_

 _Opposites Attract!_

When the lyrics came up that pointed out the last part of the song. They continued to show some slick moves! When the lyrics started to fade, it ended up with them walking away into the cartoon street as they look dark cover shadows while the video ends.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join Peter and Frank Jr in their dressing room as they are putting their robes on until Quagmire came in.

"Reverends, I gotta talk to you. Last night I had sex with a teenage blonde and her mom." Quagmire said as he made a confession to them.

"That's quite a story, Quagmire, but there's no confession so there's really no reason for you to tell me." Peter said as his church has no confession.

"Are you kidding? I'm telling everybody! Giggity goo ga!" Quagmire said as he leave out the door.

Now back to the church as peter and Frank Jr begin their sermon.

"Let us pause to reflect on the sacred mystery of Richie's elder brother Chuck, who ascended the stairs with his basketball in season one and never came down again." Peter said as he refers to the "mystery" of Richie's older brother who was never seen again after the first episode of Happy Days.

As Brian and Frances came in to stop the sermon.

"There's one problem, Peter. When a religion gets too powerful, it's bound to have imitators." Brian said as he and Frances found other fad religions to dissipate the congregation of the Church of the Fonz.

"What are you talking about?" Peter asked them on what they are talking about.

As three representatives from other religions show up to the services of the Church of the Fonz. The first informs people that he has formed the Church of George Jefferson (from All in the Family)

"Hi. I'm Sherman Hemsley. I've just established the Church of George Jefferson. Who wants to move on up?" Sherman encourages members of The Church of The Fonz to join "The Church of George Jefferson".

The second claims to have created the Church of Captain Stubing (from The Love Boat)

"Hi, I'm Gavin MacLeod and I established the Church of Captain Stubing. Who wants to come on board?" Gavin MacLeod said as he founds "The Church of Captain Stubings" converting some members of the Church of the Fonz, led by Peter Griffin.

The third person is Kirk Cameron as Emily looks shocked

"Hi, I'm Kirk Cameron!" Kirk said hi to everyone until peter interrupts.

"You here to convert people to the Church of Mike Seaver?" Peter assumes that Cameron is there to announce the formation of the Church of Mike Seaver (Cameron's character on Growing Pains!)

"No. I'm here to convert people to Christianity." Cameron said as he lets them know that he's only here to convert people back to Christianity

"Well, he was on Growing Pains." The people said as they raised up the seats.

And the remainder of the congregation leaves with him.

"I can't believe it. Everybody's gone!" Peter said in shocked

People are always looking for the next voice to tell them what to do. Brian said

And here I was thinking I was making a difference. I thought I was connecting with people. Could there be anyone stupider than me? Peter said

"Madonna?" John talk with Tyler, Frank Jr, Peter, Brian, and Francis about their disgust with Madonna's career.

"Yeah. She's pretty stupid." Tyler said about her attitude,

"That's something we can agree on." Peter said as he agree with this statement.

"Absolutely. Francis?" Brian said as he asked Frances if he agree with it.

"Oh, major idiot. Major idiot." Francis said in agreement.

"Yeah. Gosh! I guess we do have some common ground here after all, huh?" Brian said as he feels that everyone is in agreement.

"Yeah. And "La Isla Bonita"…. not a real place. I looked it up, couldn't find it. Bought a globe, couldn't find it." Frank Jr said about her clothing choice, about her lying place.

"Oh yeah, that makes her a liar too." Brian said as he know she is a liar.

"She's awful!" Frances said in agreement.

"Awful, awful woman." John said about Madonna being an awful person.

"I agree, yeah." Tyler said in agreement.

"And she's a whore." Francis said that Madonna is a whore.

"Oh, Yeah, big time." Frank Jr said in agreement.

"Oh, everybody. Canseco? Eww." Peter said in agreement.

"Dennis Rodman." Brian said about Madonna's exs.

"Dennis Rodman. Right, right, Yeah." Peter said in agreement.

"Rodman? My God!" Francis said as he is shocked about rodman.

"I think he lost all his money, didn't he?" Peter said about rodman.

"Rodman? Are you sure you're not thinking MC Hammer?" Frank Jr said in question if they were talking about MC Hammer.

"No, no Well, him too. I read somewhere. I think it was in, like, Stuff or so No, No, No, you know what it was? It was on Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel. And they said that he's in the poorhouse now." Peter said about rodman being in the poorhouse.

"You think she'd do him now?" John asked them about the men she has dated.

"Would Madonna do Rodman now? Yeah. Cos it's not the money, it's about pissing off Daddy." Frank Jr said about her father issues,

"That's right, she's got a lot of problems." Brian said about Madonna's problems.

"Lot of problems." Frances said in agreement about Madonna's problems.

"Yeah, we are smarter. We are smarter than Madonna." Peter said as they were smarted than Madonna.

"No question." Frances said in agreement.

After a few moments Frank Jr speaks.

"Well, we should probably get out of these robes." Frank Jr said as he want out of his robes.

Back at home in the living room as Stewie return with his immune system's strength recovers at the end of the episode.

Stewie walk next to Brian all piss off.

"Look at you. You're all better." Brian said in shocked.

"That's right, Brian. And you are toast! I'm gonna get in the gym, get my lats back, and then me and my friends from Cobra Kai are gonna take you down, man!" Stewie says to Brian that he and his friends at Cobra Kai will take him down, referring to the name of the gang of bullies in The Karate Kid.

"Listen. Sorry I had to rain on your parade, Peter." Brian said as his apologies to peter for what he did to his church.

"It's all right, Brian. I guess the Church of the Fonz was just a bad idea." Peter said as he thinks his church was a bad idea.

"Not really, Peter. You were preaching honesty, friendship, courage. If you managed to inspire even one person to embrace those values, you were a success." Lois comforts Peter, who is upset at the failure of his Church, by telling him that if his church embraced the Fonz's values of friendship, it is worthwhile

"Thanks, Lois. But I doubt there's any chance of that." Peter said as he highly doubts it and Peter converts back to Christianity.

However the scene shifts and Both Frank Jr and Francis is shown looking at a picture of the Fonz, Frank Jr puts it down on a table, they gets on their knees as if to pray, and Frank Jr claps to the beat of "Rock Around the Clock"

 **Bill Haley & His Comets**

 _One, two, three o'clock, four o'clock, rock  
Five, six, seven o'clock, eight o'clock, rock  
Nine, ten, eleven o'clock, twelve o'clock, rock  
We're gonna rock around the clock tonight_

 _Put your glad rags on and join me, hon'  
We'll have some fun when the clock strikes one  
We're gonna rock around the clock tonight  
We're gonna rock, rock, rock, 'til broad daylight  
We're gonna rock, gonna rock, around the clock tonight_

 _When the clock strikes two, three and four  
If the band slows down we'll yell for more  
We're gonna rock around the clock tonight  
We're gonna rock, rock, rock, 'til broad daylight  
We're gonna rock, gonna rock, around the clock tonight_

As song end so does the episode ends.

 **Chapter end**

 **I hope everyone enjoyed! This is thanking for pen123 and Family Guy Fan writer 15, Thank you all for cutaways, scenes, favoring, having me on alerts and with that. So enjoy and see you next chapter.**


	20. Chapter 69: Brian Sings and Swings

**Chapter 69: Brian Sings and Swings**

 **Narrator** _  
_ _Fresh out the net box  
Stop, look, and watch  
Ready yet, get set  
It's Family Guy!_

We see paparazzi taking photos of the cast as they come out of the limo and they walk on the red carpet.

 **Chorus:** _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

First it show Frank waling out of the limo with a poster with the words "oh" and he poses for the camera.

Then its shows Meg comes in looking all sexy as she signs autographs while she winks at the fans.

Then it turn to Lois comes in hopping while grabbing rose as she gives a kiss toward the fans.

 **Chorus:** _Check it, check it, check it  
Now this is just an introduction  
Before I blow your mind  
The show is All of That and yes we do it all the time_

Then it shows Frank Jr poses as he pull his hat down his chest as he throws a rose to the Fans.

Then next person to show up on the carpet is Stewie. As he flips his hat back to his head while he give autographs to fans.

Then Brian comes in sliding on the red carpet as he waves at the fan as he walks in _._

 **Chorus:** _So sit your booty on the floor or in a chair  
Ground or in the air  
Just don't go nowhere_

Then Emily comes in give autographs as she smiles at the fans as she tells one of her fans to call her.

Then the scene shows Persephone puts a rose on her mouth with a sexy angry look on her face.

 **Chorus:** _Cause everything we do  
It's all of that!  
When entertaining you  
We all of that!_

Then Chris shimming down the carp as he gives the fan a shout out.

Then Peter slide towards the carpet as he flips his hat back on his head.

 **Chorus:** _My posse and my crew  
It's all of that!  
So sit still cause we're coming right back_

Then the scene shows John throws a rose at his fans.

As the scene, changes to Tyler puts on rose his mouth as he gives everyone thumbs up.

 **Chorus:** _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

Then scene change to the Family Guy MC Cast walks down the stairs as they take a group photo while looking gangsters of the 80. All this while music ends as the scene fades to black.

Now we join ourselves at Peter and Lois Room as we see Peter and Frank Jr sleep in bed until Peter has just woken up.

"Hey, how'd you sleep, Peter?" Brian asked him on how he sleep.

"Aw, Brian, last night I had this crazy dream I was eating a sheep, and now my pillows gone." Peter said as he explain his crazy dream where he was eating a sheep, and now his pillows is gone.

"Oh, here it is." Frank Jr said as he take the pillow from peter back to show it to him.

"What the hell was I eating?" Peter asked them on what did he eat?

As we see a half-eaten sheep appears, dragging itself in pain, leaving blood behind and bleating.

"Oh, sorry." Peter apologies to the half-eaten sheep.

"Man I don't feel so good?" Frank Jr said as his glitches out of existence until he return to normal.

"Frank Jr, what just happened to you?" Peter said in shocked.

As Frank went into the room when he heard peter panic, he went to check Frank Jr condition with a device that checks the health.

The results weren't good, the device reads that Frank Jr is losing his invincibility due to Frances visit, maybe when stewie lose his immune system it effected Frank Jr's powers. But it only last 5 days, so Frank has a plan for this.

"Son I need you to stay within the house for 5 days, when your sickness is over." Frank said as Frank Jr get ready for his day off since he is sick.

Now we see Persephone and Meg walking toward the bathroom until they spot Emily watches as Chris' hair and hat is placed on his head, spoofing the scene in _The Empire Strikes Back_ in which Admiral Piett watches Darth Vader's helmet being lowered over his scarred head and he leave the room with his sister look at him in shocked.

As Peter prepares to leave for work, he reach his car but spoke to Lois.

"See you, Lois. And like I tell you every day, if I come back in the afternoon and you're having sex with somebody, I'll kill you both." Peter said as he threatens her if she cheats on him, he will kill them both.

As we see Frank Jr and Brian reading a newspaper

"Huh. Thanks to effective treatments, Magic Johnson down to one AID". Brian said until Frank Jr notice the car is movie.

As Peter backs his car out of the driveway, he almost runs over Frank Jr and Brian. Brian surveys from being pushed away but Frank Jr was hurt badly.

"Oh, God, did I hit that deaf kid again? They ought to put a bell on that guy!" Peter said as he felt that he hit someone.

Now we join the family at the hospital as Frank Jr needs treatment.

"The nurse says Frank Jr won't be out of surgery for three hours. Oh, I hope he's gonna be OK." Lois said as she worries for her grandson.

"Me too. I know we're not here to place blame, but I can't help feeling like this is somehow Peter's fault." Frank said as he is piss off at peter for what he did.

"I just can't stand the thought of losing Frank Jr." Meg said as she cries into her sister shoulders.

"Uhh, if he dies, I'll have to hang out with the Rock again." Stewie said about Frank Jr and set up a cutaway about himself hanging out with the rock.

 **Cutaway**

We see Stewie and The Rock in a segment.

As the scene shot of Stewie.

"One's a baby?" Don LaFontaine said about Stewie

As the scene shot of Dwayne Johnson.

"And the other's ... black ... I think. At least part black. Or ... Hispanic, I think, you know, possibly there's some Filipino in there, yeah, possibly some Filipino. I mean if he...if he's black it's definitely diluted. I mean, one of his parents must be white. What the hell is Jessica Alba for that matter? If I were 40 years younger, I would plow that 'til next July." Don LaFontaine as an announcer said while The Rock looked confused.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join the kids at James wood high in Mr. Berler class.

"Today I'm going to show you this fascinating episode of Nova that I taped at home for you." Mr. Berler showing Meg's class a video of nova.

But it shows himself and his wife in their room.

"Are you coming back to bed, Rob?" Mr. Berler's wife said in bed.

"Hang on, honey. My jaw keeps locking up." Mr. Berler said as he is wearing lady underwear and a bra.

As this video of him and his wife preparing to have sex and he turns it off from shocked.

"Well, that's not Nova at all, is it? That's a sex tape I made with my wife. Of course, nobody here is interested in seeing that. Are they? Probably not." Mr. Berler said as he question if any of his students if they want to watch.

Until he notices something or something raise him for something.

"No. OK. You kind of looked like you were nodding. No? OK. OK, we should get back to work. Next up, does everyone have a lab partner?" Mr. Berler asked his students if they have a lab partner yet.

"We don't." Persephone said as she and her sister raised their hands.

"Me neither. She and her sister can be my partner." Sarah said as she becomes both Meg and Persephone Griffin's science lab partner.

"Sarah, that's irresponsible. Persephone and her sister are both awful." Mr. Berler called both Persephone and Meg awful

"You two wanna be my lab partners?" Sarah asked the twin if they want be her lab partners.

"Really?" Meg said in shocked.

"Sure. You seem nice. Do you wanna join my after-school club?" Sarah invites Meg and Persephone to her after-school club.

"Sure." Persephone said as she thrilled at being included, Meg agrees as well.

"Now open your books to page I'm sorry. Can I show this video of me doing my wife?" Mr. Berler said as his cave in and he wants his students to watch his sex tape.

Now back to the Mallque/Griffin house as the family bring Frank Jr home in a wheelchair. He wears a neck brace and he is in a sad mood.

"Here we are, Frank Jr, safe and sound." Lois said as she glad to have him home.

"I don't need to be in a wheelchair, Grandpa!" Frank Jr said as he feel embarrass by this.

"No arguments. I already went through the trouble of borrowing this ramp from Joe." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about Joe and his missing ramp.

 **Cutaway**

"I'll see you, honey. I'll be back in a…" Joe's ramp disappears, thus falling to the ground.

"Joe, are you alright?" Bonnie asked worriedly.

"Don't help me up. I need to retain my independence" Joe warned but then it was nighttime and he's still there.

"You need anything from the market?" Bonnie asked.

"Power bar!" Joe answered.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we are back in the living room with Frank Jr and he is wearing Brian's cone.

"What's wrong, Frank Jr? You've just been sitting on the couch ever since you got back." Lois asked her grandson on why he is in doors.

"Also it been five days, you are already invincible again and you need to get out of the house." Frank said as he tells his son that he is healthy.

"I don't know. I'm a little depressed. The accident got me thinking about life and how suddenly it can be taken away." Frank Jr said as he becomes depressed from the accident

"You're gonna feel back to normal in no time. Here, have some food." Peter said as he fills the cone with coco puffs

"I'm not hungry." Frank Jr said as he struggles with his cone filled with coco puff.

"Here comes the milk. You messy beast." Peter said as he pour milk into the cone and Frank Jr had no choice but to eat his way out.

But Frank Jr trip on the floor and he was out cold.

Now we are in the hallway at James woods high school as Neil race towards the Griffin twins.

"Well, hello there, girls." Neil said hello to the twin near her locker.

"Neil, we can't be seen talking to you anymore. Me and Persephone have friends now, and some of them very popular." Meg said as she explains to Neil that they are popular now.

"I know. I heard Sarah is your lab partner. All those years of you rejecting me finally make sense." Neil said as he realized that the girls are not attached to him

"What do you mean?" Persephone asked him on why he is cool with Sarah.

"Oh, my God!" Meg said as she after regrets it when she and Persephone finds out the club is a Lesbian Alliance Club.

Now we join the twins in front of the door of Lesbian Alliance Club and Meg knocks the door, Sarah answer it.

"Meg and Persephone. There you guys are. Everybody, this is our newest members, Meg and Persephone." Sarah said as she introduce them to the club.

"Hi, Meg and Persephone." The lesbians said hi to the twins.

"Hi, you gays guys girls." Persephone said hi but she goof it off.

"Listen, Sarah. I can't be in your club. We're not a lesbian." Persephone said as she tells them the truth.

"You can't be serious. We had a whole party planned for you." Sarah said as she and her group plan a party for the twin.

"Really? A party? For us?" Persephone said in shocked

"But I guess if you're not a lesbian…" Sarah said as she feel disappointed until Persephone interrupted her.

"Wait, wait! You didn't let me finish. My sister isn't a lesbian. But I'm a super huge mega-lesbian!" Persephone said as she lied about her self being a lesbian while sparing her twin since she is married.

"Oh, good! You'll fit in with the other mega-lesbians." Sarah said as her club has mega-lesbians

As the mega-lesbians of the Lesbian Alliance Club sing it together the song Elvira.

 **Mega-lesbians**

 _...My heart's on fire Elvira_

 _Giddy Up Oom Poppa Omm Poppa Mow Mow_

 _Giddy Up Oom Poppa Omm Poppa Mow Mow_

"Wow! I feel so socially accepted." Persephone said as she feel social accepted.

"And I accept you for who you are sis!" Meg said as this was her sister chance at making friends.

"Do you have any other friends to invite to your party?" Sarah said as she asked them if they have any fiend who want to join.

"Nope!" Meg replied since most of her friends are straight and boys

"No, most of my friends are out of town." Persephone said as well as she set up a cutaway about her other friends.

 **Cutaway**

"This is going to be great. We'll stay up late, trade stories! Oh, let's watch the video of my ballet recital" Persephone told her stuffed animals. However, as she finds the tape, they disappear.

"Here it is" Persephone sees Sunshine Bear outside.

"Sunshine Bear! Wait!" Persephone shouted at him to stop.

But Sunshine Bear kills itself by being run over by a truck.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join Brian and Frank Jr at the quahog cabana club. Brian was depress from the accident plus he is drunk and Frank Jr was trying to help get over it but he fell into depress as well.

"Hey, how's it going?" Brian said hello to the women right next to him.

"Good." The women asked as Brian and Frank Jr look at her amazing boobs.

"Those are huge! Those are huge boobs." Frank Jr said in shocked on how amazing they are.

"And you know what's nice? That you don't have that blue vein up there that some of the bigger ones get." Brian said about the boobs of don't have that blue vein up there that some of the bigger ones get.

This caused the women to splash her drink all over them and she left in a huff.

"What? I said you don't have that." Frank Jr said as he shout at her.

As a man come right next to them and sit right next to Frank Jr.

"Hey, buddy. You're not looking so good." Frank Sinatra Jr asked them if they were okay.

"Who cares how I look? Nothing matters. We could all die tomorrow, every one of us." Frank Jr said

"Isn't that a damn good reason to live it up today?" Frank Sinatra Jr gives him some words of wisdom.

"Come on. It can't be that simple." Brian reply as this problem can't be that simple to fix.

"Excuse me. I got a thing to do." Frank Sinatra Jr said as he leave the bar.

As the announcer guy begin to announce the next gust.

"All right, we have a very special guest tonight. Please welcome the member of the board, Frank Sinatra Jr." announcement said as Frank Sinatra Jr taking the stage at the Quahog Cabana Club.

 **Frank Sinatra Jr** : 

_Love is lovelier, the second time around_

 _Just as wonderful with both feet on the ground_

This Caused Frank Jr to look in shocked on who playing on stage. As he decide to sober up and walk on stage to sing with Frank Sinatra Jr.

 **Frank Jr and Frank Sinatra Jr.** : 

_Who can say what brought us to this miracle we found?_

 **Frank Sinatra Jr** : 

_There are those who'd bet..._

As Brian look at Frank Jr sing and he decides to join in the fun as well by sing.

 **Frank Jr** **and Brian** : 

_Love comes but once, and yet..._

 **Frank Jr, Brian and Frank Sinatra Jr** : 

_I'm oh so glad we met_

 _The second time around_

As the song ends with everyone clap for their performance including a fat guy laughs in enjoyment.

"All this singing is contagious. I'll sing too." Adam West said as he begins to sing

 **Mayor West**

 _Adam West_

 _Adam West_

"And a little bit softer now." Adam West said as he lower his tone.

 **Mayor West**

 _Adam West_

 _Adam West_

 _Adam West_

 _Adam_

 _West_

As he lower himself under his table from sing his song.

"I'll come out when they're all gone." Adam West said as he is done sing.

Now we join the family eating breakfast as Frank Jr and Brian tell the family what happened to them.

"Wow, you two actually got to sing with Frank Sinatra Jr?" Peter said as he thinks his grandson and dog got to sing with Frank Sinatra Jr.

"Oh, it was amazing. I got to tell you, he said some things that were exactly what I needed to hear and I was just inspired to get up on that stage." Frank Jr explain what he did and he feel better because of that moment.

While Brian poor himself some booze in his glass.

"Gotta live life for today, you know?" Brian said as he enjoy sings as well.

"Brian, don't you think it's a little too early to be hitting the booze?" Frank Jr asked Brian if it's a little too early to be hitting the booze.

"Why wait? You gotta live life while you can and live it hard." Brian said his answer.

"The Chris Farley method? Good." Stewie said about Brian method on life sarcastically.

"Frank invited us back tonight." Frank Jr said to his family as he is excited to perform with Frank Sinatra Jr again on stage.

"Me and Frank Jr feel more exhilarated than Peter did when he swam with the bulls." Brian said as he sets up a cutaway about peter swimming with the bulls.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter dancing with the bulls in a pool.

Even though they were dancing beautifully, they were scored 9.9, 9.8, and two 10s.

The other team which had zebras in speedos weren't impressed.

"Yeah, that's fair. That's totally a fair score" the zebra leader said.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join ourselves at the quahog cabana club in Frank Jr and Brian dressing room with Emily, John, Tyler, and Stewie join them as they get ready.

"Brian, when you wear that suit, it looks like you're taking a white poop. But it stuck." Stewie said as Tyler laughs at the joke.

"Lois asked me to baby-sit you guys, so stay here and be quiet." Brian said as he takes his flask and drink before he exists the door with Frank Jr following him.

"We'll be back after my first set guys, so behave." Frank Jr said as he closes the door leaving the group in the dress room.

"What am we supposed to do to kill time?" John shouted in bored tone.

"I know, we'll play 52 Pickup." Stewie said as he suggest a game of 52 pickup.

As Stewie flicks 52 cards and throws them on the floor.

"Uhh, this would be more fun if Frank Jr was around because then he would say, "I'm not picking up those cards." Stewie said as he does a scenario.

"And then I'd say, "You have to. It's 52 Pickup." John said in agreement with the scenario.

"Then Frank Jr would say, "What if I just leave them there?" Tyler said as he explain his side of the scenario.

"And I'd say, "Those are my father's cards, you can't just leave them there. He's gonna be mad." Where am I?"Stewie said as he get confused on where he are.

That's when Tyler gotten an idea.

"Hey guys, wanna join Frank Sinatra Jr in his new rat pack?" Tyler asked them about join in the act as well. They all nodded in agreement and left the room.

Now we join Frank Jr and Brian with Frank Sinatra Jr on stage doing a number.

 **Brian**

 _I don't care if the sun don't shine  
I do my drinking in the evening time when I'm  
In Rhode Island_

"Ha cha cha cha!"Stewie said as he appear on stage doing a bit and he interrupts the song.

"Get outta here!" Brian said as he pushed him off the stage and they get back to sing.

 **Frank Sinatra Jr**

 _You can sit in the sun and camp_

 _But I get my color from a sun-ray lamp_

 _When I'm..._

That's when Stewie, John and Tyler join on stage wearing tuxedos with mics on their hands.

 **Stewie, John and Tyler**

 _In Rhode Island_

"Stewie, Don't ruin their moment." Emily said as she appear on stage to disciple him.

"Whoa, easy kids. These people paid good money to get in here." Frank Sinatra Jr said as he tries to calm down the situation.

"Oh yeah? How much do you charge them to get out?" Stewie said as he and Tyler do Groucho eyebrow rising by their joke.

As the audience laughs and the guys decide to sing together.

 **Frank Sinatra Jr**

 _We go together, there's no mistake_

As they walk on the stage with Stewie, John and Tyler join on the song while Emily was nerves _._

 **Stewie**

 _Like a bowl of chowder_

 **Brian**

 _And a big clam cake._

 **Frank Jr, John and Tyler**

 _While we're in-_

 _Side Rhode Island_

"You want the part too madam?" Frank Sinatra Jr asked Emily if she wants to take part.

"I don't know Sir..." Emily nervously answered doubtfully

"Come on now..." Frank Sinatra Jr said encouraging what is there that you would lose?

"Isn't there just too much too choose?" Brian said in response.

"Besides." Stewie said as he, Frank Jr and Frank Sinatra Jr get back to the song.

 **Stewie, Frank Jr and Frank Sinatra Jr:**

 _It's Rhode Island_

"Um..." Emily said nervously in key "Don't you think that I would whine?"

"Oh don't worry you'll be fine." Stewie said while in key.

"Try it." Frank Jr said.

"Do you think it's worth a shot?" Emily asked them if this was okay.

"You know your voice is worth a lot." Frank Sinatra Jr said as everyone is about to sing.

 **Stewie and Frank Jr**

 _Especially..._

There was a two second pause until she caves in and she enters the stage plus gets a mic.

 **Emily**

 _In Rhode Island_

"That a girl!" Stewie cried as he glad Emily is join in.

"Oh well" Brian said giving in and joins in the song.

 **Brian, Emily, Stewie, Frank Jr, John, Tyler and Frank Sinatra Jr**

 _And we love Rhode Island_

As the audience cheered for them and they all bow for their work.

"That was sensational. We'll be the biggest thing since Edison and electricity." Stewie said as he sets up a cutaway about Edison and electricity.

 **Cutaway**

"Look at Edison over there with his damn electricity" a man angrily looks outside. "Edison! How about sharing some of those light bulbs?"

"Figure it out for yourself" Thomas Edison taunted.

"We're freezing our asses off over here!" the man shouted.

"How do you think I feel? You get to look at my great house. I look at that dark thing! What is that? A candle over there?" Edison pointed it out.

"Yeah, it's a candle. We're freezing over here. No one in my family's taken a bath in a month. We stink! It stinks over here, you jackass!" the man hollered.

"I can't hear you over my central heating" Edison joked.

"Go to hell Edison!" the man shouted.

"Bite me, man! You seen The Office? Guess you haven't, cos you don't have a TV!" Edison joked about himself having TV.

"How about I come over and kick your ass?" the man shouted.

"Ooh, yeah, come on over" Edison left as Foxy Lady by The Jimi Hendrix Experience plays on the background.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join the family eating dinner in the dining room and Both Peter and Frank Jr question what they are eating.

"What is this, Lois?" Peter asked Lois on what he is eating.

"Yeah grandma, why is this orange stuff?" Frank Jr asked in question.

"It's jambalaya. It's a new recipe." Lois reply as both men tries tit but gotten a sorrow look.

But Peter spits it out and pushes it to Lois in disgust.

"Peter." Lois shouted at him to stop.

But Peter pushes it to Lois in disgust.

"Eat your food, mister." Lois shouted at him to eat it.

But Peter pushes it to Lois in disgust.

"All right, if you don't want it, put it in your napkin." Lois shouted at peter

But Peter pushes it to Lois in disgust.

"Peter! Put it in your napkin." Lois shouted at peter to put the jambalaya in his napkin.

But Peter pushes it to Lois in disgust.

"Put it in your napkin." Lois shouted to him to just do what she has said.

But Peter pushes it to Lois in disgust.

"I'm not gonna, Peter!" Lois complains to him being a baby.

But Peter still refuses to eat the dinner that Lois made and he puts it into Lois' hand in disgust. While he and Frank Jr wipe their tongues taste of the jambalaya.

"You know, some people would be very happy to have this food. Like John Goodman's family." Lois said as she sets up a cutaway about John Goodman and his family.

 **Cutaway**

We see John Goodman eating like crazy on Thanksgiving. The rest of the family looked starving.

"Please, Daddy" one child begged.

"I told you. When I'm finished, you can have what's left!" John argued.

"There won't be any left. There's never any left" the boy argued.

As the wife attempts to get a piece of mashed potato, John stabs her with a fork.

"Happy Thanksgiving" the wife whimpered as one child dies on the table.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the dine room as Chris seeing Persephone looking rather butch.

"Mom, why is the cable guy here?" Chris asked Lois on why the cable guy here.

"It's me. And I have something to tell you all. Mom, Dad ... I am a lesbian." Persephone said as she told everyone that she was a lesbian and everyone was shocked.

"Wait …WHAT!" John shouted in shocked.

"That Is AWESOME. . ." Frank Jr and Peter said as they were awe

"Frank Jr, Peter! Persephone, you are not a lesbian." Lois said as she argues with her daughter choice.

"I don't care what you think. All my lesbian friends accept me and that's all that matters." Persephone said as she tells them she doesn't care what they think.

While John is sad also wonders if he can change her back.

"Persephone, You're my sister. I would accept you if you were gay, blind or retarded, but you're not." Emily said as she agrees with her mother's argument.

"You guys don't care about me and my struggle. I hate you!" Persephone said as she not gonna take this bullshit with her family.

"Persephone, I think you're simply trying to fit in by pretending to be something you're not like the time Peter pretended to be racist to get out of jury duty." Lois said

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter in jury duty.

"Awful lot of honkies in here!" Peter said as everyone looked at him.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Meanwhile, Brian, Frank Jr, John, Tyler, Emily and Stewie continue their performances across Quahog with Sinatra. While Brian In a drunken condition following a performance as he plays the Dean Martin role too well, and he ends up throwing up in a restroom with Frank Jr and Stewie holding his ears while Frank Sinatra Jr, the boys and Emily were waiting outside.

"Waaah!" Brian throw until he was done and he fainted on the floor.

Now we join Brian as he ends up coming home to the Mallque /Griffin house too late.

As Lois, Meg, Frank and Peter were on the couch in the living room and the women were piss off.

"Brian! There you are. Do you have any idea what time it is? Stewie and Frank Jr were meant to be in bed two hours ago." Lois said as she wants an explanation about why his is late and where is her babies.

Oh, yeah. they's… they were right here, right next to me, like, four hours ago. Brian said as he losing both Stewie and Frank Jr.

"What? Brian, you were supposed to watch him." Meg shouted at him as she was Displeased at Brian's behavior.

Until both babies, John and Tyler and Emily enter the door looking like shit and Frank Jr covered in blood.

"OH, My little sweeties." Lois gasps in shocked at the state her babies were in.

As the babies turn to Brian and they were piss off.

"Hey, Brian, remember us? We're the guys you left standing at the counter at McDonald's with a bag full of burgers. You know it's funny, me and the gang tried to walk home and, um, a lot of hungry deer walking around at this hour of the night!" Frank Jr said as he held his throw up in his mouth for explain what happened to them.

This cause Emily to carried him and rubs his back and he pass his explanation to Stewie.

"And, um, oh here's where the story gets fun, uh, you may have noticed I'm missing an ear. Frank Jr Managed to, uh, pull it out of the deer's mouth before he killed it and put it in some ice we got at a 7-Eleven. So when you are ready to apologize, just talk into this cup." Stewie said as he finish the explanation which results in Stewie's ear being bitten off by a deer.

"Yeah Brian, you dingus!" John said in agreement as he eat his chicken nuggets.

"Yeah Brian not cool, also you own me a big mac, you jerk!" Tyler said in agreement while slurping his drink in anger.

"Brian, this is unacceptable!" Lois said as she shouted at him for his behavior.

"Yeah, what if something had happened to Stewie?!" Peter said as Frank just roll his eyes for that comment.

"Oh, and my ear's in a cup, so I guess that doesn't count." Stewie said sarcastically for his father's comment.

"I'm not his baby-sitter. I have my own life." Brian said in argument.

"This is cos you've been with that Frank Sinatra Jr. I am gonna call his mother Mia Farrow and give her a piece of my mind. You're gonna stop singing at that club. Operator, Mia Farrow." Peter scolds him that he will stop performing with Sinatra and threatens to telephone Mia Farrow

"You stay out of my life!" Brian said as he Angry at Peter's bossiness, Brian bites his arm

"What the hell is happening to you?" Peter said in pain of his arm.

This caused Frank Jr to get piss off and he jump out of Emily's arms.

"That's not cool, BRIAN!" Frank Jr shouted as he was able to land a hit on Brian balls.

Then he started to beat the shit out of him until Frank Jr too bites into Brian's ear.

"Yippy!" Brian cried in pain.

This caused Brian to run away into the backyard where he hid in the bushes.

"You stay outside, until you learn what you did!" Frank Jr shouted as he slam the door shut and went upstairs to sleep.

"Y'know, it's alright, I don't need to go to the hospital or anything, and I'll just use this Mr. Potato Head piece." Stewie said as he puts a Mr. Potato Head piece for his missing ear.

"No you're not!" Emily said as she picks up Stewie, she and Frank went upstairs.

"Come on Stewie, let's see if I can have sowed your ear back!" Frank Jr said as they went to his room to fix Stewie ear.

The next day in the kitchen as Lois and peter were sitting eating breakfast while Frank Jr and Stewie question what happened last night.

"He bit me, Lois. The bastard bit me." Peter said as which leaves Peter afraid of him,

"Well, you kind of deserve it for butting in where you don't belong!" Frank Jr said sarcastically as peter was struck by karma.

"Honey, I'm sure he didn't mean it. Brian's going through some heavy stuff right now. He and Frank Jr almost died." Lois said as she explain to peter that Brian is going through some stuff.

As Brian comes in and peter starts to freak out.

"Listen, Peter I just want to apologies…" Brian tries to reconcile with Peter.

But Peter was still scared and he only pelts Brian with furniture, dishes and Stewie.

"You know what? Forget it. I don't need this. I'm outta here." Brian angering storms off in a rage.

"Look what you did, Peter." Lois said in shocked at Peter's behavior.

"I can't help it, Lois. I haven't been this scared since I was mugged by Gene Shalit!"Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about him being mugged by Gene Shalit.

 **Cutaway**

We see Gene Shalit threatening to shoot Peter with a gun.

"Don't Panic Room. I'm not going to William Hurt you. I only want your Tango & Cash. So just pay it Forward and we'll all be Happy Gilmore" Gene said.

"What?" Peter asked.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join Persephone and Sarah in her room looking at nude women magazines.

"So how's my suddenly lesbian daughter doing? " Lois said as she is mocking her.

"Great. We're checking out naked girls. I am so into girls." Persephone said as she lied.

"Come on, Persephone, you can stop the charade. My God, you're as transparent as your father was when he pretended to be a Hasidic Jew to get off work." Lois said to Persephone as she confronts her about this, she sets up a cutaway about peter pretended being Jewish to get off work.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter pretending to be a Jew to avoid work, disguised as one as he enters a church.

"Good morning, Hebrews and Shebrews. What a glorious Jewish day. How about all those coupons in the Sunday paper, huh? Some good deals there. I went into a store last week and they wanted 800 bucks for a TV, but I used them down to 500" Peter said

But someone kicks him in the groin and he falls down to the ground.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back at Persephone's room.

"It's not a charade, Mom. I am a lesbian. What do I have to do to prove this to you?" Persephone asked her on what does it take to get her to think she is a lesbian.

"Maybe if I'd seen you kiss your girlfriend." Lois said as she knows Persephone won't go that far.

But she was wrong and Persephone rub it in her face.

"Fine." Persephone said as she kisses Sarah in the lips very quick.

"What was that? Is she your grandmother? That's no kiss. Watch this, Mmm…Mmm…Mmm!" Lois said as she kiss her and sticks her tongue in Sarah mouth.

Until Chris exit Meg's closet on the floor, he take his camera and he ran away from being discover.

"Look, I can't tell you how to lead your life. If you don't wanna face the truth, there's nothing I can do about it." Lois said as she gives up and walks out of the room.

As Quagmire exit Meg's closet with a microphone and tape recorder.

"Chris, I'm all out of digital audio tape. Oh, he's gone." Quagmire said as he notice that Chris isn't here and the girls know.

"Can I get you guys to sign these release forms?" Quagmire asked the girls if they can sign some release forms.

Now we are back at the Quahog Cabana club in the dressing room as the rat pack is waiting on Brian.

"Where the hell is Brian?" Frank Sinatra Jr asked his friend on Brian's location.

"I don't know, but we can't just stay around here and watch infomercials." Stewie said as they can't just stay around here and watch infomercials.

As we see an Asian guy near a ferries with two hot blond women in their white bikinis and white high heel shoes.

"Hello. How come I rich and you not? How come you not sell real estate like I do? How come I sleep with your wife while you at work? And then I pee in your toilet and don't flush. And sometimes I open the back part and I pee in there, so that when you flush, pee come out. You know why? Cause I'm smart. I'm smart, you stupid. Call now!" Asian Guy said as he make fun out of everybody and asked to call him now.

"Brian! Brian! Bri…" the babies cried out for Brian until Stewie stops at view window with a button-up jacket that he likes.

"Who am I kidding? All those buttons, I'll look like Steve Harvey." Stewie said as he decides not to buy a button-up jacket because it will make him look like actor/comedian Steve Harvey.

"Brian!" The babies shouted as they arrive at a quahog market

"I'll ask the cashier if I can put this up in the window." Frank Jr said as they enter the market waiting for Bruce to finish his shopping.

"I definitely need a breath freshener. But that's going to give me 11 items. That's fine. No, no, no. Rules is rules. Let's see what I'm going to put back. I need the Reynolds Wrap and the bathroom tissue. I could do without the Triscuits, but they sure are good. I came down here in the first place. You know what? I'm not going to need the V8 cos I can just get some tomato juice at the mini-mart down the street. It's a little more expensive, but that's OK. I like to help out a small business. I hope it's OK if I pay you in pennies." Bruce debates which groceries to leave behind while in the ten items or less line and he decide to pay in pennies.

Now we join the babies walk out of an ally way until they found Brian and he was drinking in the gutter.

"Oh, God. A gutter? How cliché." Stewie said in annoyed tone from what he has saw.

"What the hell, Brian!" Frank Jr said to him as he clean Brian's face.

"I don't know what went wrong. I was just trying to live for the moment like you, you know? Because life can end so abruptly and there's nothing you can do to stop it." Brian said as he didn't know what went wrong with his life and he still blames himself from what happened to Frank Jr.

"Is that why you've been on this path to self-destruction? You know, Brian, as smart as you are, you've got to accept that there are some things in life that you just can't control." Frank Jr tells Brian that there are things in life which are beyond his control.

"You mean the way like Stewie can't control the messed-up way when he laugh when he think something's really, really funny?" Brian said as he sets up a cutaway in which Stewie is laughing at an episode of Hope & Faith.

 **Cutaway**

We see Brian and Stewie watching TV.

"I don't understand why these cookies are giving us all the fits" Faith said on TV.

"Well, no wonder, Faith. That's not baking powder. It's sneezing powder" Hope responded on TV.

"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA" Stewie laughs weird.

"But I already brought a whole batch to the church bake sale" Faith added.

"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA" Stewie laughs weird again.

"No wonder that priest kept saying "bless you"" Hope said.

"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA" Stewie laughs weird for the third time.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Back at the ally way.

"Yes, I accept that. Your problem is you think that if you're not in control, nothing matters. That you don't matter. But you know what? You matter to someone. You matter big time." Stewie said as he telling him that even though they aren't in his control, they do matter, contrary to Brian's common beliefs. Also he tells him that he matter to some people including him as he walks back.

As we join Persephone arrived at her lab partner's house.

As Persephone had to confess to Sarah she wasn't a real lesbian.

She knocked on the door. Sarah answered it.

"Hey, Persephone. What are you doing here?" Sarah asked on why she is here.

"Listen, Sarah. I got to get something off my chest." She walked in.

"Yes!" Sarah said, shutting the door.

Sarah and Persephone walked into the living room.

"I need to open up," Persephone said.

"Sweet," Sarah said. She undressed herself until she only wore a bra and underwear.

"So get ready, because here it is. My mom was-" Persephone was cut off by a kiss from the other girl.

She was surprised at first, but...she had to admit, Sarah felt...pretty good. Almost as good as a kiss from a boy.

Persephone returned the kiss and put her arms around Sarah. Sarah broke the kiss. "What about your mom?"

Persephone's lips quivered. "My mom...was wrong."

Sarah put a hand on her shoulder. "I had a feeling she was." Suddenly, she realized something. Persephone was crying.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Sarah asked.

"I'm so sorry. For the first time in my life, I feel like I belong. And I want it to be true." Persephone said.

Sarah hugged her friend. "It can be scary, looking for a place to fit in. You just need to find the right person to guide you there." She put a hand in Persephone 's. "And I think you found it."

"Oh, thank you! Thank you!" Persephone said as she returned the hug and sobbed.

Suddenly, Quagmire stepped out of the closet.

"That was boring. That was just boring! What do you think, Mark?" Quagmire asked his men.

Two men carrying film and sound equipment stepped out of the closet.

"I don't know man; we didn't get the shots we need. Man, what do you think, Mike? I mean if you saw action going on in front of you would know you instinctively to center it in front of you?" Mark said and he asked his friend about this.

"I don't know. Someone take my soda out of the ice box please so it doesn't freeze?" Mike said.

Until John came by to asked Persephone if she is okay, he notice quagmire and his crew and he was piss off. He beats the shits out of Quagmire and throws him out the window.

"That was weird," Sarah said as soon as the men left in disappointment. The two girls sat on the couch.

"So... while you're here," she said seductively, scooting toward Persephone.

"Is there else something you want to try with me?" Sarah said

"What do you mean?" Persephone asked.

Sarah gave her a wink.

Persephone widened her eyes.

"Oh, god! I...I don't...I mean..." Persephone said in shocked.

"Is this your first time?" Sarah asked

Persephone nodded and Sarah smiled.

"Like I said, you need the right to guide you. So, let me guide you." Sarah said.

Gently, Sarah kissed Persephone again.

Only this time, Sarah's tongue invaded Persephone's mouth, twirling around to taste every inch of it.

Sarah then moved her hand under Meg's shirt and felt her breasts, still hidden behind the bra.

Persephone moaned as she felt her lover...did she just think that?...lovingly caress her. Sarah then put the other hand under the shirt and began to undo the bra when Persephone suddenly stopped her.

Sarah chuckled, "It's okay, Persephone. You can trust me."

Hesitantly, Persephone moved her hands away. Sarah undid the bra and removed it from under the shirt before tossing it aside.

"Now, Your turn." "she said.

Persephone gulped. With shaking hands, she found the bra's hooks, then undid before tossing it aside. The girl's breasts weren't huge like some model on a magazine, but not too average either.

"If you stare too long, you might burn a hole through my chest." Sarah said.

Persephone gasped, suddenly realizing she was staring right at the other girl's breasts.

"I...I'm sorry!" Persephone said.

"it's okay, Persephone. Now, let me see yours." Sarah said as to calm Persephone down.

Hesitantly Persephone obeyed. She lifted her shirt, then tossed it to the ground, joining the bras on the floor next to the couch. Sarah gasped. "Persephone...your breasts are..."

"Ugly? Yeah," Persephone said, dejected. "Connie says I get them from my dad's rolls of fat."

Sarah blinked. "I don't think they're ugly at all."

"R-really?"

"In fact..." The blonde girl chuckled, giving the left nipple a kiss, making Persephone shudder. "...they look good enough to eat." She began suckling the nipple again, giving the right a massage.

Persephone moaned, collapsing onto the couch with Sarah on top of her. Never in her life had she felt this kind of pleasure. "Do you like that?"

Persephone nodded. "Then, would you like to taste mine?"

Persephone hesitated, then placed her mouth on Sarah's right nipple. "Mmf. Watch the teeth, Persephone."

"Sorry." Persephone said.

"It's okay. Just be gentle." Sarah giggled as Persephone continued to suck. She started to get a tingly feeling between her legs. "P-P- Persephone? I want you to stick your fingers in my vagina."

"What?" Persephone was shocked.

"I...really...need it!" Sarah reply.

As Persephone did what she was told and started to stick her fingers in and out of her vagina. She could see how Sarah was moaning in delight and arousal. Persephone had never seen the boys smile this much when, or rather if, she went out with them. She suddenly felt someone stick two fingers in her own vagina and let out a moan then a gasp.

"Does that feel good, Persephone?" Sarah asked Persephone.

"Y-ye-yes!" Persephone said quietly

"Good!" Sarah said.

The two girls sat on the couch, fingering each other until Sarah stop. Persephone groaned in disappointment. "Why did you do that?"

"I want to finish up with something special." Sarah ran upstairs then came back down with a pink double-sided dildo. "Impressed?"

Persephone didn't know what to say. "Hold on, let me just..." Sarah grunted as she shoved one end into her vagina. Then she walked over to Persephone and climbed on top of her. "I'll be gentle."

And she plunged the other end into Persephone. Persephone let out a scream as the sex toy entered her body. Sarah then began to thrust slowly then began to pick up the pace. At first, it hurt. A lot. Then it started to feel good, and Persephone started to moan in delight. She began to cry out, "Faster...deeper!"

"Ah...ah...As you...ugh...Wish, Persephone!" Sarah asked her.

Persephone and Sarah embraced each other as the latter picked up the pace and moaned louder. "Sarah! I love you! I love you so much!"

"I love you too, Persephone!"

Sarah planted her lips onto Persephone's and twirled her tongue around her mouth, muffling each other's moans and sighs. Sarah caressed Persephone's face lovingly while Persephone wrapped her arms around Sarah. The two pulled away from each other, a string of spit connecting. "I...I'm gonna..." Persephone gasped.

"Me too! Together! Do it together!" Sarah said in union.

The two girls let out a loud scream as the two of them orgasmed.

Sarah collapsed on top of Persephone and the two girls panted as they basked in the afterglow of their sex. "W...wow," Persephone gasped. "That was..."

"Amazing?" Persephone said.

Persephone smiled at Sarah. "I don't know what else to say, but yeah." The two girls kissed again. Then they slept together on the couch as exhaustion took over. They didn't even bother removing the dildo.

After Sarah removed the dildo (much to their disappointments) and cleaned it (with their mouths and tongues) Sarah put on a bath robe and gave another to Meg.

"How was it, your first time with a girl?"

"Different," Persephone admitted. "So, now what?"

"What do you mean, now what?" asked Sarah, confused. "We're officially a couple now are we?"

"We...we are?" Persephone was skittish. "Normally, this is the part where someone dumps me or takes advantage of me."

Sarah tilted her head. "Why would I do that?"

Persephone sighed. She was her friend, she can trust her. "Well, the first time I had sex with someone, it was with Jimmy Fallon. He used me as an opening for Saturday Night Live."

"Wait," Sarah said. "I think I saw that episode. That was you with that blonde hair?!" When she saw the tears running down Persephone's eyes, Sarah regretted what she said. "Oh, God, I am sorry, Meg. I didn't mean..."

"I deserved it. I acted like a jerk to my family when I started my modeling and singing career."

Persephone put a hand on her new lover's shoulder. "Why did you get yourself that make over?"

"Because I was born cursed. Instead of looking beautiful like mom, I ended up looking like dad."

"The fat guy?" Sarah said

"Mmm-hmm." Persephone said.

"I told you before didn't I? I don't think you're ugly. Didn't our little sex session tell you that?" Sarah said.

Persephone thought it over. "Oh, my God! You're right!"

Sarah giggled. "Of course I am. You did pick me as my lab partner after all. Maybe you can pick me as your life partner?"

Persephone nodded. "Of course I will. You're the first person to make me feel this happy."

Sarah hugged her until John return in front of the door of Sarah house

"If she won't listen, I'm just going to have to go talk to Sarah myself." John decides to try and convince Persephone to not be friends with Sarah anymore.

When he arrives at Sarah house, he knocked the door.

"Sarah, I need to have a word with you!" John said as the door opens and he goes inside.

however, he ends up sleeping with both girls instead.

"Boy, you are good. You are really good." John said as he too is enticed into sleeping with both Persephone and Sarah (inadvertently getting even with Persephone).

"Wow! You certainly are very persuasive." Persephone said as she still connects to john by their privates.

"So I've been told. Hey, you want to give me that cigar. I'm ready to smoke it now.' Sarah said as she need to smoke to relax after finding out that she is bisexual.

As John begins to freak out on what he has done until Persephone calm him down.

"Look, I know this looks bad, and we feel horrible, and I know nothing I could say to you could possibly justify why we slept with you except... I mean, John, the woman presided an opportunity in our history, and she reduced the percentage of our family shit for 35 years. 35 years, John." Persephone said her argument.

"And I don't care that you slept with Sarah. We'll get past it somehow. All I know is, I don't want anything to hurt you." John said as he forgave her.

"Oh, John, our relationship has suffered a serious trial, but I think we can get through it." Persephone said.

"Me, too, Persephone. It's just going to take a little work." john said

Now we join Stewie, Emily, John, Tyler and Frank Sinatra Jr singing once more at a club stage.

 **Frank Sinatra Jr**

 _How I love a girl who's flawless_.

 **Stewie:**

 _Even better when she's bra-less_.

"Stewie..." Emily said under her breathes as they swing back in fourth.

 **Frank Sinatra Jr, Stewie, Emily, John and Tyler**

 _But the thing that tops us all is when we swing_.

As Frank Sinatra Jr was snapping his fingers to the beat with Tyler join in.

 **Frank Sinatra Jr**

 _How I love a glass of Jack_.

As we see John sitting on the piano with a picture of Robert stack.

 **John**

 _Or anything with Robert Stack_.

Then the group join together on stage as they wiggle the left foot.

 **Frank Sinatra Jr, Stewie, Emily, John and Tyler**

 _But the gals_ (Emily **:** _guys_ ) _we romance can't stay out of our pants when we swing_.

As Frank Jr and Brian emerges on to the stage from the curtain.

 **Frank Jr and Brian**

 _Yesterday had got me feeling kind of blue_.

"Brian! "John said as he runs toward them.

"Frank Jr!" Tyler said as he chase john in union.

"Thank god your back!" Emily said as she hugs them for coming back.

 **Stewie**

 _So you two left, and we replaced you with a Jew_.

As Jerry Lewis was "the Jew" that replaces Brian for Frank Sinatra, Jr.'s nightly performances at the Quahog Cabana Club.

"Lady!" Jerry Lewis said in flat tone.

"You're fired!" Stewie said as he fires jerry.

"Oy!" Jerry Lewis said in worried tone.

"That's racist." Tyler said as he thinks that was racist.

"Sorry... can we continue?" Stewie said as the show returns back to the rat pack singing.

 **Frank Sinatra Jr**

 _We love it when the ladies squeeze us_.

As Emily fells flatter at that part and Frank jr catches her to keep going on the song.

 **Frank Jr**

 _That's an easy way to please us_.

As they swing their hips back and forth by the song and beat.

 **Frank Sinatra Jr, Frank Jr, Brian, Stewie, Emily, John and Tyler**

 _But we feel like freakin' Jesus when we swing._

As Brian was sing his part while tidying his bow tie.

 **Brian**

 _I love the work of Allen Funt_.

As Emily and Stewie walk next to Brian and called him on sexuality.

 **Emily and Stewie**

 _Or a nicely shaven leg_.

 **John and Tyler**

 _As we dance it away_.

 **Frank Sinatra Jr**

 _For the time today_.

 **Frank Sinatra Jr, Frank Jr, Brian, Stewie, Emily, John and Tyler**

 _But nothing compares the feeling that we get. No, nothing compares the feeling that we get, when, we, swiiiiiiiing! When. We. Swing_.

They finish one more number before Mia Farrow breaks up the act.

"Frank, there you are." Mia Farrow said as she (called in by Peter) intervenes.

"Mia Farrow?" Brian said in shocked

What's this I hear about you up all night with a baby and a dog? Mia Farrow reprimanding Frank for "hanging out 'till all hours with a baby and a dog".

"Leave me alone." Frank Sinatra Jr said as he tells her to leave him alone.

"Come here young man!" Mia Farrow said as she is piss off.

As she spanks him in front of the audience, much to his chagrin

"Damnit all!" Frank Sinatra Jr said as he feel shame by being spanked.

Later, John, Persephone and Sarah were at the Mallque/Griffin house, watching TV.

"Good evening, I'm Tom Tucker." Tom said.

"And I am Diane Simmons." Diane said

"Coming up, an invasion of gators have flooded the sewers of Quahog, but first, here is Ollie Williams with the blackie weather forecast. Ollie?" Tom said

"IT'S SUNNY!" Ollie shouted.

"Thank you, Ollie." Tom thanks him for his bit of news.

As Lois came up to the pair.

"So, you three are a couple now?" Lois asked them.

"Yep, Guess the feeling was true after all." Persephone said.

"Well, It's your choice. As long as you're happy." Lois said.

She left for the kitchen, but she gave Sarah a quick glance and said under her breath, "She's a keeper."

Sarah put a hand in Persephone 's.

"So, do you two want to watch a movie later?" Sarah asked her boyfriend and girlfriend.

"Sure." Persephone said as John nodded.

"Can I come, too?" Chris asked.

"Go to your room, Chris." John shouted.

As the end credits show while the scene shows Frank Sinatra Jr playing the piano.

 **Frank Sinatra Jr**

 _It seems today_

 _That all you see_

 _Is violence in movies and sex on TV_

As Frank Jr came on the scene next to Frank Sinatra Jr.

 **Frank Jr**

 _But where are those good old fashioned values_

As 5 people came to the scene. To the left are John, Tyler, the right are Stewie, Emily and Brian.

 **Entire Rat pack**

 _On which we used to rely?_

The scenery changed and the main cast changed outfits.

 **Frank Sinatra Jr**

 _Lucky there's a Family Guy_

 _Lucky there's a man who_

 _Positively can do_

 _All the things that make us_

 **Stewie** **and Frank Jr**

 _Laugh and cry!_

 **Frank Sinatra Jr** __

 _He's... a.. Fam..ily... Guy!_

 **(Theme Song End)**

 **Chapter ends**

 **I hope everyone enjoyed! This is thanking for pen123 and Family Guy Fan writer 15, Thank you all for cutaways, scenes, favoring, having me on alerts and with that. So enjoy and see you next chapter.**


	21. Chapter 70: Patriot Games

**Chapter 70: Patriot Games**

 **Narrator** _  
_ _Fresh out the net box  
Stop, look, and watch  
Ready yet, get set  
It's Family Guy!_

We see paparazzi taking photos of the cast as they come out of the limo and they walk on the red carpet.

 **Chorus:** _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

First the scene shows Frank waling out of the limo with a poster with the words "oh" and he poses for the camera.

Then its shows Meg comes in looking all sexy as she signs autographs while she winks at the fans.

Then it turns to Lois comes in hopping while grabbing rose as she gives a kiss toward the fans.

 **Chorus:** _Check it, check it, check it  
Now this is just an introduction  
Before I blow your mind  
The show is All of That and yes we do it all the time_

Then it shows Frank Jr poses as he pulls his hat down his chest as he throws a rose to the Fans.

Then next person to show up on the carpet is Stewie. As he flips his hat back to his head while he gives autographs to fans.

Then Brian comes in sliding on the red carpet as he waves at the fan as he walks in _._

 **Chorus:** _So sit your booty on the floor or in a chair  
Ground or in the air  
Just don't go nowhere_

Then Emily comes in give autographs as she smiles at the fans as she tells one of her fans to call her.

Then the scene shows Persephone puts a rose on her mouth with a sexy angry look on her face.

 **Chorus:** _Cause everything we do  
It's all of that!  
When entertaining you  
We all of that!_

Then Chris shimming down the carp as he gives the fan a shout out.

Then Peter slide towards the carpet as he flips his hat back on his head.

 **Chorus:** _My posse and my crew  
It's all of that!  
So sit still cause we're coming right back_

Then the scene shows John throws a rose at his fans.

As the scene, changes to Tyler puts on rose his mouth as he gives everyone thumbs up.

 **Chorus:** _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

Then scene change to the Family Guy MC Cast walks down the stairs as they take a group photo while looking gangsters of the 80. All this while music ends as the scene fades to black.

Now we join Frank Jr and Stewie in the backyard in their sandbox.

"All right, all bets are in." Frank Jr said to his uncle.

"Ooh, Frank Jr look at this, Rupert is betting wrong, bad idea trusting the Celtics. Worse than when I trusted Brian to pack my parachute". Stewie said as he sets up a cutaway about Brian packing stewie's parachute.

 **Cutaway**

We see Brian, Stewie, and Frank Jr. inside a jet plane.

As Stewie flies out to parachute, he releases a parachute that reads "I'm a HOMO".

Everybody laughs at him.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Back to the backyard with the babies as Brian comes outside.

"Hey, Brian, care to place a wager? Tomorrow night on Fox's Celebrity Boxing, I've got Carol Channing beating Mike Tyson in three rounds." Stewie said as he asked Brian if he wants to bet on Fox's Celebrity Boxing.

"Carol Channing You've got Carol Channing, the actress, beating Mike Tyson, the boxer. Hell, give me Tyson." Brian said as he bets on Tyson.

"Well, you're in good company. Betting Freddy took the same wager." Frank Jr said as he point out on the other person who betting on Tyson.

"B- b-b-b-b-b-b- b- b-b-b-b-bet! Wait a minute. There's nothing funny about an addiction. Vote "no" on Indian gaming laws." Fred Flintstones said stammers "Bet-bet-bet-bet!" as he did in The Flintstones episode "The Gambler", where Fred goes crazy whenever someone mentions the word "bet.

Now we join John, Tyler, Peter and Brian watching TV in the living room.

"And we're back with Fox Celebrity Boxing with Mike Tyson and Carol Channing." Announcer said as we join in the ring seeing mike Tyson and carol Channing fighting.

"I tell you, Jim, how Carol Channing outlasted that barrage in the second round we'll never know." Co-announcer said about carol Channing outlasting Tyson's hits.

As Carol Channing participates in Celebrity Boxing with Mike Tyson.

"Come here, young man. I'm gonna bop you one." Carol Channing said as she tries to bop mike.

During the fight between Mike Tyson and Carol Channing on Fox Celebrity Boxing, during one of Tyson's bashings, it cuts away to two men under the ring, which is the same as the final round in Rocky III.

"She's getting beat!" Apollo Creed said as he see carol getting up again to fight mike.

Then, the man next to him, who seems to be Rocky's brother-in-law Paulie.

"No, she's getting mad." Rocky's brother-in-law Paulie said

"Ah, you ain't so tough, young man." Carol Channing said as she gets in to mike's face.

But mike smacks her with 15 blows.

"That all you got, you son of a bitch." Carol Channing said as she gets up again.

But Mike smacks her with 20 blows.

"You're going down, young man." Carol Channing shouted as she gets up again.

But Mike Tyson smacks her with 40 blows.

"You're going down!" Carol Channing shouted at mike as she gets more piss off.

As Mike Tyson gets sweating and tired by carol's stubborn spirit.

"I ca… I can't believe this. She keeps getting up. I'm so exhausted." Mike Tyson said to himself on what he is fighting against.

Then Mike Tyson loses the match when he collapses from exhaustion.

"And the winner, by technical knockout, weighing in at 67 pounds, Carol "Put on Your Sunday Clothes"!" the announcer said as he give carol the championship.

The crowed Channing boo signs and piss off carol.

"Yeah! Up yours, young people. You and your rock and roll eight-track tapes!" Carol Channing shouted back at the audience.

"I don't believe this. I just lost a $50 bet." Brian said as the loss cost him $50 in a bet.

"You know, Mike Tyson once beat up his wife. But there's nothing funny about that." Peter said something disturbing which caused John and Tyler to leave the room.

As the door opens with Lois and Chris return home.

"Hi, guys. We're back from the mall." Lois said to Peter and Brian.

"I got new shoes. The old ones are in the box. They smell and are old." Chris said as he laughs at his own joke.

As Lois checks the mail and found a letter for peter.

"Hey, Peter, your 25th high school reunion is next Sunday." Lois said as she read a note for peter's 25th high school reunion is next Sunday.

"Eh, throw that away. I don't wanna go. Besides, Sunday's my Internet porn night." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about Sunday's Internet porn night.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter naked at an internet cafe as everyone looks at him in fear.

"Oh yeah! You're my Chinese Lois!" Peter moaned.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now it's nighttime at the Mallque/Griffin house in the kitchen as we see Brian reading the newspaper until Stewie arrives.

"Hey, it's me. Knock, knock. So, uh you got, uh, you got my money?" Stewie asked Brian if he has his money with him.

"Huh? Oh yeah, I'll pay you soon." Brian said as he procrastinates in paying off the bet.

"Yeah, well, um here's a suggestion. Um, have the money by tomorrow and there won't be any problems." Stewie said as he threaten him to have the money by tomorrow.

"Huh?" Brian said in question.

"Yeah, 24 hours." Stewie said

"Why, what-what happens in 24 hours?" Brian asked him on what happens in 24 hours.

"Huh? I dunno, I'm not psychic, man. I'm just saying it would probably be better for everybody if you had the money tomorrow." Stewie said as he said an omen.

"Uh, yeah, alright, I'll see what I can do." Brian said as he is creep out by Stewie.

"Sweet, sweet, great. Uh, how's everything else going?" Stewie asked him on how his day was.

"Good." Brian said his reply.

"Alright, alright. See you later. Don't forget! Nah, you're not gonna forget." Stewie said as he leaves the room until Frank Jr arrives into the kitchen.

"SHIT'S ABOUT TO GO DOWN, BRUH! Frank Jr shouted at Brian and freaking him out.

"Hey! What's cracking, bruh?" Brian said hi to Frank Jr

"Not good, bruh. Yeah, he gonna kick your ass if you don't have the money dude! Frank Jr said as Brian look shocked.

"What, why would you think that?" Brian said out loud.

"Brian, this is Stewie we are talking about and he never quits plus he gets even with people." Frank Jr reply as he explain to Brian that Stewie always get his money no matter what.

Now we join Peter with Frank Jr at the drunken clam with their friends.

"Hey, Peter, I was going through your garbage and I noticed your high school reunion is coming up." Quagmire said as he pick up the invitation of the high school reunion from peter's garbage.

"Why were you going through my garbage?" Peter asked him on why he was look over his garbage.

"Well, when I stopped over earlier, I noticed Lois clipping her toenails and I thought: "Oh, man, I gotta get in on that." Quagmire said his reply.

"Huh. Yeah, I don't think Grandpa going to his reunion. Everybody's all got their nice cars and their big, important jobs, and their fancy hats, and their fresh strawberries so big you can eat them like a hand fruit. Frank Jr said as he tell them peter's excuses.

"Peter, everyone lies at those things. Just tell them you're a big shot." Joe said to peter that he should act like a big shot.

"Wait a second, Joe, that's a great idea. Boy, imagine what it would be like to be a big shot." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about himself being a big shot.

 **Cutaway**

We see two kangaroos fanning Peter in whitey tights as he eats a strawberry.

"Diego?" he asked a Hispanic man who arrived.

"Sweaty" he ordered him to clean up.

"Oh! That's good" Peter said.

 **Cutaway Ends**

As Brian coming out of shower, he shakes the water off, he walk towards door with a towel cover himself and he opens door to see Stewie.

"Stewie? uh, hey." Brian said as he covers himself with a towel.

"Hey there. So, uh, it's been 24 hours. Got my money?" Stewie asked him about his money since his time up.

"Ah... You know what, just give me till next Friday, I'll have it for you." Brian said as he procrastinates in paying off the bet again.

Oh. Oh, that's funny. I could've sworn I said have it today. Stewie said

Yeah, I don't have it, sorry. Brian said as he apologies to him.

Oh, well, alright then. Stewie said in calm tone as Frank Jr and John and Tyler came by from the hallway but they notice Stewie was in the bathroom with Brian.

As he drinks orange juice in a calm tone which freaks out Frank Jr and the boys so they leave the bathroom before the carnage starts.

"Mmm, that's good O.J." Stewie said as he enjoy his glass of orange juice.

As Stewie smashes glass on Brian's head

"Aaargh! Aaarghh!" Brian shouted in pain.

"Yeah, that hurt?" Stewie reply to Brian pain.

"Aargh!" Brian said in pain as he holds his head full of glass.

"That hurt?" Stewie asked in anger.

"What the hell?!" Brian said as he continues yelling in pain.

"Yeah, that don't feel so good, does it? No, huh?" Stewie punches Brian in the leg.

"Aaaaaah, oh, oh. Oh, oh! Brian shouted from the pain of his broken leg.

"Yeah, that's what happens, man!" Stewie said as he puches him on the side of his back.

"Oh, my God!" Brian said as Stewie keeps beating him until he was thrown down to the floor.

"Yeah, that's what happens." Stewie said as he punches Brian again.

"Where's my money?! You gonna give me my money? Where's my money, man?!" Stewie asked him about the money while punching him in the face.

As Brian coughs up blood, Stewie gets towel rack, continuously hits him with it.

"Where's the money, man?! Yeah, you like that?! That feel good?!" Stewie said as he holds Brian's head in toilet water.

As Brian starts screaming more and Stewie takes him out of the toilet.

"Where's the money, man?! Where's my money?!" Stewie said as he throws on the floor and he clean himself off.

"You got till five o'clock. You hear me?! You got till 5 o'clock!" Stewie shouted at him to get his money till five o'clock.

"You freakin' psychopath!" Brian shouted in pain and fear for what just happened to him.

"Yeah, clean yourself up." Stewie said as he throws a towel at Brian and leave the bathroom.

That's when the trio of Frank Jr, John and Tyler came back and look at Brian's condition.

This boy seen some shit! John said as he whistles at Brian beat up face.

"Sorry, Brian." Tyler said as he picks up Brian.

"I tried to warn ya, bruh! I TRIED TO FUCKIN' WARN YA!" Frank Jr shouted at Brian as he did tell him that Stewie gets even with anyone.

Now we join Frank Jr, Peter and Lois at James Gartner High school for the 25th Reunion. Inside the gym we see people interacting with others.

"Peter, this is ridiculous. Why can't you just be yourself?" Lois said as she tries to talk peter out of his stunts.

"Lois, just go along with it. Act like I'm a big shot." Peter said

Yeah grandma, do this for grandpa! Frank Jr said in agreement.

"Sighs!" Lois sighs while she walking into the gym with Frank jr in her arms.

As Peter enter the reunion while he pretends to be a secret-agent astronaut millionaire to impress his classmates.

"Hey, Peter Griffin, is that you?" Mike asked him as he knows him.

"Hey, Mike, long time no see." Peter said hi to mike.

"Wow, what, uh what's all this?" Mike asked him about his outfit.

"Oh, this? Oh, I just came from work. I'm a Secret Agent Astronaut Millionaire." Peter said as he explains his outfit to his friend mike.

"Cool. Where'd you get the cowboy hat?" Mike asked him about the hat.

"Space." Peter reply fast.

"Oh, by the way, this is my friend, Tom." Mike said as Peter meets Tom Brady and he scream in joy.

As Frank Jr runs over to see what caused his grandpa to screaming.

"You're Tom Brady from the New England Patriots!" Frank Jr shouted as he appears right next to Peter.

"Oh man, I got to tell you, you kick ass, man. In fact, I was just saying that the other day, to all the guys down at the brewery." Peter said as he blab the truth.

"Brewery? I thought you were a cowboy astronaut millionaire. He's a fake! Look, this cowboy hat comes right off." Random man said as he revels peter was lying and takes his hat off.

Until Frank Jr kicks him in the balls and takes the hat back.

As all the people laughs at peter.

Now we join peter drinking a lot of beers with Frank Jr eating cake with Lois at their table.

"Coming here was a huge mistake, Lois." Peter said as he drank another beer.

"Peter, I know you're humiliated, but getting drunk is not the answer." Lois said as she tries to keep peter from drinking.

"Uh-oh. Either my esophagus just got shorter, or I'm about to throw up." Peter said as he feels that his butt is about to explode.

As Frank Jr makes a drunken run with Peter in his arms for the bathroom, knocking over everyone between him and the toilet.

"Peter, your grandson was amazing. I've never a seen a little guy his size who could move like that." Tom Brady said as he is near the door.

"Thanks brandy!" Frank Jr said as he holds his grandfather head as Peter pukes.

"How would you and your grandpa like to play for the New England Patriots?" Tom Brady asked him and peter to join the New England Patriots.

"Oh. we'd love to." Frank Jr said as he agrees to join.

"Say, listen, uh, Tom, could you get me a towel? I threw up on the floor." Peter asked tom to get him a towel for he throw up on the floor.

"Sure." Tom said yes.

"And could you also get another towel? Grandpa also threw up on this gentleman's bare lap." Frank Jr asked him to get another towel cause Grandpa also threw up on a man 's bare lap.

"Could you wet the towel?" The man asked tom to wet the towel.

"Wet the towel, Tom?" Peter and Frank Jr asked him to wet the towel.

Now we are watch channel 5 news with Tom Tucker and Diane Simmons.

"Our top story tonight, we go live to terrific haircut Bob Costas, as he talks with local man Peter Griffin, who is living his dream of playing for the New England Patriots. Bob? Tom tucker said as the scene change to the Inside of the Mallque/Griffin house in the living room.

"Thanks, Tom, I'm fond of your hair, as well. I'm standing here with Tom Brady and his newest teammates, Frank G Mallque Jr and his Grandfather Peter Griffin." Bob said as he announces tom and his new teammates.

As Lois and Meg get in front of the camera.

"Hey, Ma! Check it out! I'm married to a pro athlete and grandmother to another! ha! What do you think of that? Ha-hah!" Lois said as she laughs and brag/shout out to her mother in front of the camera.

And to all those in high school said that I didn't have anything that make me important, fuck you bitches. My son is a football player! Meg shouted on camera.

"We're really excited to have Peter and Frank Jr. I think they're gonna make a great addition to a great team." Tom said as he will enjoy both Frank Jr and Peter inclement in the team.

As Bob puts the mic to Frank Jr as he is sitting on Peter's shoulders.

"I want to thank God. I want to thank the Lord God, because it's really not up to me it's up to him." Frank Jr said to the mic.

As the mic passes to peter.

"Umm and I want to thank the devil too, you know because that's why God's there. He's minding the fence making sure that guy never comes back. You know if it weren't for the devil God would probably go insane, blow his brains out from boredom, you know? Everybody likes to feel useful. Make a da world go 'round. Back to you, Tom."Peter saidas he said some crazy shit about the devil.

Now back to the channel 5 news station with Tom and Diane.

"Diane, didn't your first husband blow his brains out?" Tom Tucker asked Diane about her husband blow his brains out.

"Oh, God!" Diane Simmons said as she breaks down crying and leave her seat.

"Coming up, America's new curse word: "kleeman". We'll tell you what it means after this." Tom Tucker said as the tv is turn off.

Now we join the family with tom Brady in the living room.

"Boy, Lois, I can't believe this is happening to me. I'm somebody now, you know? I- I don't have to lie to people about my life anymore." Peter said, as he gets excited for his opportuning on being on football team.

"Oh, I am so happy for you, Peter." Lois said as she hugs her husband for his achievement.

As Brian, walks in all banged up with cases on his left leg with John and Tyler helping him out plus Tom Brady notice and he asked them.

"What the hell happened to you?" Tom Brady asked Brian on what happened to him.

Until John and Tyler notice Stewie with a mean look. They give him monster faces that scared him back.

"I, uh Fell down the stairs." Brian said an excuse to not get beat up by Stewie.

"Oh, you should be more careful." Stewie said until he was shot in the leg.

That when we notice both John and Tyler were whistling while they hold a gun with a silencer on.

Now we join Peter and Frank Jr at the quahog stadium with the New England Patriots, and they were excited.

"All right, I'm ready. Come on, good game." Frank Jr said as he spank a player coming back.

"Good game, everybody. Yeah. Come on, good game." Peter said as he spank another player coming back.

"Let us get out there. Let us do it. Yeah, yeah. 110%, everybody. 110%. Huh? Let us go." Frank Jr said as he grabs one player, Peter and Frank Jr spank him in place in excitement.

"Come on, let us go. Let us go Good game!" Peter said as he and Frank Jr put their helmets, they enter the game.

"Ready! Blue 20, blue 20! Hut, hut!" Tom Brady said the play and Frank Jr passes the ball but he didn't let go.

"Mallque, let go!" Tom Brady shouted at Frank Jr to let go of the ball.

"Let's go?!" Frank Jr said as he ran passes the entire player with tom still attach the ball and Peter block them until they reach the foot goal.

Sometime later, Brian still hasn't paid up, and he tries to avoid Stewie by disguising himself with a fake mustache.

"Mornin'." Brian said incognito as he walk pass Stewie.

"Good day to you, sir." Stewie said hello to Brian until he realized it was Brian in disguise.

"Wait a minute! What the hell?!" Stewie said he realized that Brian punk him

As Stewie sees through his disguise and he chase Brian down.

"Oh-h-h-h—"Brian said as he cheese it and make a run for it.

Until Stewie pushes Brian down the stairs.

"Aaargh! Oh-ow-ow-ugh! Ohh..."Brian shouted as he landed on the floor of the living room.

Then Stewie hits his head with golf club.

"Argh!" Brian shouted in pain by that hit.

"Getting real tired of you duckin' me, man!" Stewie said as he hits brian with golf club

"Oh, my God!" Brian said in pain as he holds his head.

"Yeah, gettin' really tired. Huh?" Stewie said as he hits brian with golf club.

"Ogh! Arg-argh!" Brian shouted in pain.

"Where's my money?! Where's my money?! Yeah, you got money to pay for fake mustaches, huh? Yeah, huh? How much did you pay for that fake moustache?" Stewie asked on how much money he paid for that fake moustache.

"$2.99." Brian said as he reply and piss off Stewie.

As Stewie shoots his left knee.

"Aaargh! Ow!" Brian shouted in pain as he drag himself on the carpet.

"Oh! Oh..! Listen, you just gotta give me more ti..."Brian said as he tries to calm down Stewie.

Until Stewie shoots his right knee

"Aaargh!"Brian shouted in pain

"Don't make a fool out of me, man. Don't make a fool out of me. I want my money. I want my money, man!" Stewie said as he beat him with the back handle of his gun and he asked for his money again.

"Listen, Stewie, this is crazy, you're...Oh, my God!"Brian said as he tries to calm down stewie until he saw something horrible.

As Stewie shoots his flamethrower at Bria, burning him in pain.

Aaarrrgghhh! Aaagghh-aghh...! Brian shouted in pain as the flame engulfs him.

Until the flames extinguish itself, that leave Brian burn black and he was in pain.

"All right, let's go the bank."Brian said as he gives up and he take Stewie to the bank to be paid.

Now we join the family at the dining room with Tom Brady.

"Well, I got to tell you, this was a delicious dinner, Mrs. Griffin." Tom Brady said

"AHoHoHo, Oh. Well, the pleasure is all ours, Mr. Brady." Lois said as she giggles by tom comment like a schoolgirl.

"Please, call me Tom." Tom Brady said as he asked to call him tom.

As Meg, Emily, Persephone and Lois were laugh and squeal by that comment.

"Can I call you Tom, too?" Chris asked him if he could call him by his name too.

"Well, of course." Tom Brady said in agreement.

While Chris chortling as well.

"Mr. Brady, would you please sign my Trapper Keeper?" Meg asked tom for an autograph until she accidently spilled wine on tom shirt.

"Oh, Tom, your shirt. I'm so sorry. Look, you can use our shower if you want." Lois apologies to tom for what happened to his shirt and she asked him if he could take a shower.

"No, it's okay. It's just a little spot. It'll come out." Tom brady said as he declines the offer.

However, Lois was not even having that so she threw the wine at his shirt.

"Well, that's not gonna come out. You better take a shower." Lois said with a smile.

"Mom, let me look!" Meg said as she, Persephone and Lois were looking through a hole at Stewie and Frank Jr room to watch Tom Brady take a shower naked.

"Meg, Persephone, Emily stop shoving. You girls wouldn't even know what to do with it." Lois Company with the girls shove each other for the peeking hole.

"He's closer to my age, you cow." Persephone said as she told Lois that she is old.

That made Lois look back at Persephone with a stank look.

"Come on now, move over. I'm trying to look." Emily said as she know is looking at the hole and she spots a naked Tom Brady.

"Oh man... he's so hot... so hot I could-" Emily said she felt something interrupting her.

"What did something happed sis?" Meg asked her sister on what wrong.

"Uh-oh..." Emily said as she had wet herself when she was aroused.

"Again?" Lois asked as she notice water splining from Emily diaper.

"What the hell is this?" Stewie shouted as he and Frank Jr enter their room.

"Oh, hi, Stewie. We were just leaving." Lois said as she and the girls left their room.

"I say, what the devil is all the fuss about? I don't get it." Frank Jr asked Stewie about the girls behavior.

"What's in there? Bing, bong! Hello!" Stewie said as he looks at the hole and he found something awesome to watch.

Now we join tom in the shower, he is cleaning himself until peter enter in with him.

"Hey. What's goin' on?" Peter said as he freak out Tom by his entry.

"What the hell?! Get out of here!" Tom said as he tell peter to get out of the shower.

"Well, we're on the same team. We shower together." Peter said his reason about being in the shower with him.

"Yeah, in the locker room." Tom said as he tells him that they do that in the locker room.

"Yeah, yeah, come here, you." Peter said as he grabs a towel and smacks tom in the butt.

"Ah, stop, knock it off. What are you crazy?" Tom said as he gets out of the shower and peter chase him until somebody enter the bathroom.

"We're just a couple of guys messing around. That's what we are." Frank Jr said as he too enter the bathroom and he smacking both peter and tom with a towel.

"Ooh, ooh, quiet, everybody, my commercial's on." Peter said as the family watch his commercial on TV.

As we see both Peter and Frank Jr at Wilkins Hyundai and Subaru. The place is an automobile dealership located in Quahog.

"Hi, I'm Peter Griffin of the New England Patriots." Peter said his introduction.

"And I'm Frank Mallque Jr of the New England Patriots." Frank Jr said as he introduce himself.

"We're here to kick off the Touchdown of Savings Weekend, at Wilkins Hyundai and Subaru." Peter said as he explain the prices.

"We will blitz the competition, and in no time, you'll be driving your new Hyundai or Subaru right to a touchdown." Frank Jr said as he promoting a sales event going on at the dealership during the football season

 **Frank Jr and Peter**

 _At Wilkins Hyundai and Subaru We have Hyundais and Subarus._

Now we see the family at the football game. They are waiting for Frank Jr and Peter so they play the game.

"Guys, the game's about to start. Where's Dad and Junior?" Chris asked his family on the location peter cause the game is about to start.

"I don't know, Chris. And I'm starting to get worried." John reply as he gets worried.

"I think all this success might be going to Frank Jr's head." Tyler said as he worries for Frank jr acting strange.

"Do you know Frank Jr spent $30,000 on a wax sculpture of Harriet Tubman doing Gwyneth Paltrow for Peter?" Lois said as she set up a cutaway about Frank Jr buying a wax sculpture of Harriet Tubman doing Gwyneth Paltrow

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter staring at a wax figure of Harriet Tubman doing Gwyneth Paltrow.

"Yeah! Yeah! That is happening for real! Yeah! I'll enjoy more of that tomorrow!" Peter leaves the sofa.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the football field with the New England Patriots as Tom is getting annoyed by Frank Jr behavior.

Where the hell is Mallque and Griffin? It's almost time for kickoff. Tom asked his teammates about the location of Frank Jr and Peter.

"Well, I guess we have to start without him." His teammate said as the team get started.

Until Peter and Frank Jr caught the ball while they drive in Hyundai throughout the field to make a touchdown.

"What do you think, huh? I got this for doing that car dealership ad." Peter explain how he got the car as they exist the car and put their helmet.

"All right, enough messing around, huh? Let's play this game." Frank Jr said as he does a moonwalk around the car.

"Let's play some football." Peter and Frank Jr said as they join the team.

"Mallque, Griffin, I'm getting really tired of your cocky attitudes. How many times have I told you, no showboating?!" Tom Brady said as he tells them that he tired of their showboating.

"Relax, Tom, I'm just having a little fun also I just me doing it not grandpa. I got it under control." Frank Jr said as he tells Brady it just him showboating.

Now the team circles up together to hear Tom's play move.

"Okay, 28-Z right, pitch left, on one, on one. Ready? Break!" Tom Brady said the play to his team as they reach the field.

"Ready? Green 54! Green 54! Set, hut, hut!" Tom Brady said as the player did their play and tom passes the ball to an open player.

Until said player was tackled and fumbles the ball, but then Frank Jr grabs the ball and he made a runs toward the goal line. As he was rushes towards the goal, the other team's players went after him but Frank Jr had help by Peter. Peter block them until they reach the goal until they were piled over by player but Frank Jr made a touchdown barely.

"Yeah!" Frank Jr said as he cheers for his team for scores a touchdown.

Huh, there might be some hope for this guy after all. Tom Brady said as he thinks Junior has some hope for being a good player.

Until the attention goes to Frank Jr's head, and after an absurd display of show boating with his shirt, it pisses off Brady.

"Damn it, Mallque! I said no showboating!" Tom Brady shouted AT Frank Jr to not showboating.

"This calls for a victory tune!" Peter shouted as he and Frank Jr performs this number as a victory dance.

 **Frank Jr**

 _Now a woman who'll kiss on a very first date,  
Is usually a hussy,_

 **Peter** _  
And a woman who'll kiss on the second time out,  
Is anything but fussy,_

 **Frank Jr** _  
But a woman who'll wait 'till the third time around,  
Head in the clouds, feet on the ground,  
She's the girl you're glad you've found,  
She's your Shipoopi._

As Frank Jr point at the audience in the stadium to sing along with them.

 **Peter**

 _Shipoopi, Shipoopi, Shipoopi,_

As Peter skips dance side to side to the rhythm.

 **Chorus**

 _The girl who's hard to get._

As the audience move their hands side to side and sing along with Peter and Frank Jr

 **Frank Jr**

 _Shipoopi, Shipoopi, Shipoopi,_

As Frank Jr join Peter in skips dance side to side to the rhythm.

 **Chorus**

 _But you can win her yet._

As the New England Patriots cheerleaders join in by circling Frank Jr and Peter plus they are sing as well.

 **Peter**

 _Walk her once just to raise the curtain,  
Walk around twice and you make for certain._

As Peter and Frank Jr walk around the cheerleaders and the cheerleader were groovy to the beat of their sing.

 **Frank Jr**

 _Once more in the flower garden,  
She will never get sore if you beg her pardon._

As Frank Jr and Peter stop at a blonde cheerleader and they look at her amazing chest. Then they climb up the stadium wall to conducting the stadium audience to sing along.

 **Chorus**

 _Do, re, mi, fa, so, la, si, do, si, la, so, fa, mi, re, do._

As Peter conducts the chorus, he and Frank Jr dance side to side on top of the wall to separates the field and the audience.

 **Peter**

 _Squeeze her once when she isn't lookin'.  
Get a squeeze back that's fancy cookin'.  
Once more for a pepper-upper,  
She will never get sore on her way to supper,_

As Peter does a jig and Frank Jr goes back to the audience and conduct the audience back into sing their part of the song.

 **Chorus**

 _Do, re, mi, fa, so, la, si, do, si, do,_

As Peter and Frank Jr march passed by the cheerleader as they wave their pomp oms in the air by the song groove.

 **Peter**

 _Now little ol' sal was a No-gal,  
As anyone could see,  
Look at her now, She's a Go-Gal,  
Who only goes for me,_

As Frank Jr jump into the arms of one blonde cheerleader and then he takes the lead of the song.

 **Frank jr**

 _Squeeze her once when she isn't lookin'  
Get a squeeze back that's fancy cookin'  
Once more for a pepper-upper,  
She will never get sore on her way to supper,_

Then all the cheerleaders held signs that match notes of chorus.

 **Chorus**

 _Do, re, mi, fa, so, la, si, do, si, do,_

Now we see Frank Jr dancing with a blonde cheerleader with big boobs while Peter sings in the background.

 **Peter**

 _Shipoopi, shipoopi, shipoopi,_

As the audience sing along to the beat with Peter sing along.

 **Chorus:**

 _The girl who's hard to get,_

As Peter is dance with the hot blonde cheerleader and Frank Jr was sing his part of the song in the background.

 **Frank Jr**

 _Shipoopi, shipoopi, shipoopi,_

As the cheerleaders were in pyramid formation and they sang their part of the song.

 **Chorus**

 _But you can win her yet._

As Frank Jr and Peter plus everyone in the marching band broke out into a meaningless musical instrument, number that involved people dancing with each other.

"No! No!" Tom Brady shouted as some of his players went towards Frank Jr and Peter.

As the New England Patriots players dancing reservedly with Frank Jr, and even Peter dance near the cheerleaders again many people getting drunk and join into the dance with partners plus themselves.

 **Chorus**

 _Shipoopi, Shipoopi, Shipoopi,  
The girl who's hard to get.  
Shipoopi, shipoopi, shipoopi,  
But you can win her yet._

Now we see everybody doing the git up and people in a bar doing the git up. Then we see OC Characters doing as well plus the people in the bathroom

 **Frank Jr and Chorus**

 _You can win her yet!_

The song ends with all the players spelling the word shipoopi on the field in big letters.

 **Everybody in the Stadium**

 _Shipoopi!_

No we join Frank Jr and Peter on the field, feeling relax after that musical number.

"Alright. I made a touchdown." Frank Jr said as he feels great sing this number.

As we join Frank Jr and Peter in the locker room as Tom Brady was piss off.

"Mallque, you're fired!" Tom Brady said as he tell junior that he is kick off the team.

"For what?" Frank Jr said in question on why he is fired.

"We've had it with your crap. I talked to the coach and he's selling your contract to another team. And the only one that'll take you, is the worst football team in Europe: The London Silly Nannies." Tom Brady said as he had it with Frank Jr's showy musical number is the final straw for the team and he's sacked for showboating. The only team which will take him from the Patriots is the British team the 'London Sillinannies'.

Now we join the Mallque/Griffin Family on a plan to England cause of frank jr transfer to another team.

"So, Brian, we're even now, right? Ready to start a new life in England. I've got my money; your wounds have healed up nicely. How 'bout we let bygones be bygones, hmm?" Stewie said as they settles the debt.

"You shot me in both my knees, then lit me on fire. Piss off." Brian said, as he does not want anything to do with Stewie.

"All right, all right, I had up to hear with your bullshit guys. I tell you what Brian; you get one free revenge shot at Stewie free of charge." Frank Jr said as he offers "one free revenge shot on Stewie" to make up for it.

As both Brian and Stewie look at each and shrugged in agreement.

"Okay. But I'm not gonna tell Stewie when it's coming." Brian said as he leaves Stewie in suspense as to when the free hit will be delivered.

Then Brian Grows at Stewie, this made him made scream and flinch with a pretend hit.

Then Brian Grows at Stewie again, this made Stewie made scream and flinch with a pretend hit again.

"Ah, this is gonna be fun." Brian said as he is going to enjoy this until Frank Jr made a warning?

"But be forewarned Brian, if one free revenge shot ends up with heavy metal or rocks, you'll get your just desserts!" Frank Jr said as he gave Brian a warning about his one shot revenge.

This cause Brian to get scared little, while john and Tyler look at Frank jr as he put a sinister look on his face.

Now we join Frank Jr's Parents in the back seats as they complain about Junior's transfer to another team in England.

"Frank, this is crazy. Isn't there any way the Patriots could let our son back on the team?" Meg asked her husband if there is some way for Frank Jr to be back with the New England Patriots.

"Nah, they said the decision was final." Frank Jr reply from the front seat.

"It's all right, Meg, Frank Jr can make the best of this. I mean, a British football team can't be that bad." Frank said as he confronts his wife with a hug and he tell her that everything is going to be all right.

Now we join Peter and Frank Jr at the silly nanny stadium to meet the team.

"Uh, excuse me. Hey, there." Peter shouted at the nearest player on the field.

"Hi. I'm, uh, Frank Mallque Jr. I'm your new player." Frank Jr introduces himself to his teammate.

"Oh, yes, Frank Jr, welcome to the Silly Nannies. I'm the quarterback, Lesley. This is our team." Lesley said as he gives Frank Jr a handshake and he point at the rest of the team to Frank Jr.

As The Silly Nannies dance around a maypole and sing Gilbert and Sullivan's "'Tis Twelve, I Think" from The Sorcerer.

 **The Silly Nannies**

 _If you'll marry me I'll dig for you and rake for you_

 _If you'll marry me I'll scrub for you and bake for you_

 _If you'll marry me All others I'll forsake for you_

 _All this will I do if you'll marry me_

 _All this will I do if you'll marry me_

"Oh, crap." Frank jr and Peter said out loud with a bored face and tone.

Now we join the Mallque/Griffin family at their new apartment as we see Lois and Meg in the kitchen.

"Well, I guess living in a London flat isn't gonna be too bad, huh?" Lois said to Meg as they will get used to this place.

As Chris and the boys enter the kitchen with worried looks.

"Mom, there's no water in the toilet." Chris said about their toilet not having water.

"First of all, Chris, it's called a loo. Second, there's no water in it because everyone here just uses Elizabeth Hurley." Lois said as she explains about the bathroom and the people just uses Elizabeth Hurley.

"Alright, well, where is she, 'cause I need her now!" Chris said as he asked for her location since he need to go now.

Now we join Lois in the living room of the apartment as she watches a program called Condensation on the digital channel BBC Four. The show depicted is a parody of the channel's intellectual, esoteric content. At the time of initial broadcast, Family Guy was shown on analog channel BBC Two and digital channel BBC Three.

"You're watching BBC 4." Announcer guy said as it show a couple in the kitchen.

"Ellen, there's moisture on the outside of my glass." Johnny said about his glass of water.

"It's condensation, Johnny." Ellen said as she explains about what the moisture around the glass.

"But what about the fog on the windows?" Johnny asked about the window.

"It's not fog, Johnny. It, too, is called condensation." Ellen said her response was the same as the glass.

"Con-den-sation. sation-sation-sation." Johnny said in his mind with an echo.

As Lois notice Frank Jr walking in while he dress in his daily clothes.

"Hey, Frank Jr, how was your first Silly Nannies practice?" Lois asked him about his first Silly Nannies practice.

"It sucked, Grandma Lois. Those Silly Nannies are just a bunch of losers. Pack your bags, we're going home." Frank Jr said, as he is disgusted to discover they are a bunch of 'softies'!

"What, you're just giving up? Look, Frank Jr, I know you're upset because you blew your opportunity with the Patriots but this is your chance to redeem yourself. Now I bet if you really tried, you could turn that team around." Lois said as she explains to Frank Jr that he shouldn't give up.

"You know what, Grandma Lois? When you were talking about that sale at T.J. Maxx just now, Me and Grandpa came up with an idea." Frank Jr said as he come up an idea.

"Frank Jr gonna turn that team around. And we'll challenge the Patriots to a game, and we'll kick their ass!" Peter said as Frank Jr decides to turn them around and stages a game between the Silly Nannies and the Patriots.

As Frank Jr grabs the phone and he type tom's number to challenged him.

Now we join Tom Brady in his house looking at a playboy.

"Oh, man, what an attractive woman." Tom Brady said about the picture in the playboy.

That's when his telephone rings and Tom answer it.

"Hello?" Tom Brady said on the phone.

"Hey, Brady! You're dead!" Frank Jr said on the phone from the Mallque/Griffin house.

"Listen, Leno! If you don't stop calling my home, I'm gonna notify the police!" Tom Brady said as he mistakes Frank jr for Jay leno.

"Leno? No, no, this is Frank Mallque Jr. I'm calling to challenge you to a grudge match between the Patriots and the London Silly Nannies." Frank Jr said as he challenges him to a grudge match between the Patriots and the London Silly Nannies.

"Huh. Well, Mallque. If you want to embarrass yourself, be my guest." Tom Brady said as he doesn't take his threat seriously.

"Good. What do you say, England? Two weeks from now?" Frank Jr said as he tells him where they meet for their match.

"See you there." Tom Brady said as he agrees with these terms and he hangs up the phone.

Until the phone rings again and Tom answers it

"Hello?" Tom Brady said as he answers the phone.

"Hey, Brady! What kind of suit you want to be buried in? hahahaha!" Jay leno said as he threatens to kill New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady.

This caused Tom to hang up the phone in fear, he closes his curtains, unplug his phone and he huddles his leg on his chair.

Now we join Lois and the kids at the West End Theater as they watch Alan Ayckbourne's Up the Bumpers.

Oh, you kids are gonna love this. England has such a rich heritage of great theater. Lois said to her kids about England's rich heritage of great theater.

As the shows start with a man and his wife in their house as the man return from work.

"Cramsat on the bingum with the gam gum?' The Man said to his wife

"Treaches on the upper with the trang sang." His wife replies back.

As the audience laughs but John and Tyler still don't get it.

"Croppers to you, you crang sang lover." The wife said as she insults her husband.

As the audience laughs, both Lois, Emily, Persephone and Meg still don't get it until they her laughter from the boys.

"Hahahaha!" The boys laugh as they gotten England translater from Frank jr and they started to understand what Englishmen are saying.

"She rodgered the boogley!" Chris exclaim in laughter.

Now we join ourselves with Frank Jr and Peter at the Silly Nannies stadium locker room.

"All right, now listen up, you limey bum sniffers. If we're gonna beat the New England Patriots next week, I got to toughen you up." Frank Jr said as he give his new team a motivational speech while peter helps team with needles.

"So you're gonna get in shape the way American athletes do: Taking steroids.' Peter said as he tries to improve the team by giving them all steroids.

"I say, Jenkins, you give me that dirty look one more time, and I've a good mind to get into my PJ's and have a pillow fight with you." Lesley said as he gets into an argument with his teammate Jenkins.

"Very well, then. En garde!" Jenkins said as the team leave and return in nightshirts with pillows.

As the team, at their most aggression they show is to have a pillow fight while dressed in nightshirts.

"I like your gown." Lesley said with fighting

"I like yours." Jenkins reply.

Now we join the family and team at the stadium for the big game as Stewie is overcome with paranoia.

"Ahaaa! When's the beating gonna come, Brian? Just tell me when it's gonna come! Just do something, anything! Look, look, I'll do it." Stewie said as he starts beating himself up in an attempt to satisfy Brian.

However, Brian did nothing, thus John and Tyler look at Stewie with a worried look.

"I'll do it first. Look, look, I'll do it even worse. Oh, oh, oh, look how hurt I am. We're even now!" Stewie said as he looks like crap after himself beating.

"DAMN!" John and Tyler said together.

However, Emily comes them down.

"Don't worried Frank Jr has a plan for both of them. " Emily reply to them an answer and they relax.

"You're going down, Brady!" Frank Jr said as he was in Brady face.

"You're the one who's going down, Mallque!" Tom said back until he was shot in the neck.

"What the hell?" Tom said as he spot Jay leno.

"Hahahahaha!"Jay leno said, as he was able to successfully throw a knife into Tom Brady's neck, he run off.

Now we join the team staring each other in the field and the silly nannies get scared.

"Those men are tremendous in stature." Lesley said as the team stature scares him.

When the game begins, the Patriots cause his team to get scared in terror.

"And they're coming straight at us!" Jenkins said in terror.

We'll take my carriage! The Silly Nannies run away from the Patriots and into a carriage very similar to the one in the Disney film Cinderella.

Thus the team leaving Peter and Frank Jr facing the Patriots alone.

"Ah, crap. Well, I'm still here, you bastards! So let's do this!" Peter said as He attempts to play, but he is overwhelmed and defeated.

"This is my fault…" Frank Jr said as he realized that he should not brag while wining.

As someone appear on the field next to the defeated Frank Jr on the floor.

"Indeed. If you had just ended playing earlier, this would not have happened. If you had the option to do it over again… would you correct that error?" Hagoromo said as he appear on the field.

Hagoromo, with Frank's permission, uses his power to reverse time so Frank Jr can go in and finish Game right.

As time was rewind and Frank Jr knocked Peter and the people just look shocked.

"What, what did you actually think I was gonna challenged the New England Patriots alone in my fanfiction, are you kidding me! psyche bitch, silly nannies's trash!" Frank Jr said as he brakes the fourth wall to talk to the readers.

As Frank Jr snaps his gingers, this caused the patriots look at the entrance of silly nannies and they spot a new team coming in slow motion while the song here come the boom is playing in the background.

 **Nelly**

 _Here comes the  
Here comes the  
Here comes the  
Ya'll don't really want it now (BOOM!)  
Here comes the (BOOM!)  
Here comes the (BOOM!)  
Here comes the  
Ya'll don't really want it now (BOOM!)  
Here comes the (BOOM!)  
Here comes the (BOOM!)  
Here comes the  
Ya'll don't really want it now (BOOM!)_

We see a flashback of Frank Jr goes to jail to form an inmate team to play against the New England Patriots. He does so with the help of a newfound friend, Caretaker (Chris Rock). They start off with a poorly organized team, before being noticed by another prisoner, former college football star Nate Scarborough (Burt Reynolds), who decides to help coach the team by gathering several intimidating inmates as a boost to the team's strength.

 **Nelly**

 _It's the N-E-Double L-Y  
I said it so I keep it realz up in my hood, on the dirty like Bledsoe  
Ain't got no twist in my hair, but I'm still dread throwin  
I gots plenty of bread so I go to bed full now  
Ain't in it to win, to win it I'm all in  
I might call you my cuz youngblood, but we ain't kin naw  
Ya think of jumpin man, you best think again  
Lil dirty, I'm the type of man that might could go for revenge  
Have some not so nice friends,kick the door off the hinge  
Take the door of ya Benz, p-p-pop 4 of your friends  
This here ain't cynical (Uh uh)  
Mental, subliminal, I'm physical, financial, and mental to be a general  
Lil mama come, she want a soldier  
Not the type be in the tank, but in that Rover  
I'm in the zone like AIDS full blown  
I'm killin it like a blind man readin, I'm feelin it like (BOOM!)_

The team name "Mean Machine" on the uniforms. The first half focuses on team efforts to overcome a rough start to tie the game at halftime at 14 all, while the second half focuses on Frank Jr's past actions with Patriots and learns some valuable lessons. 

**Nelly**

 _Here comes the (BOOM!)  
Here comes the (BOOM!)  
Here comes the  
Ya'll don't really want it now (BOOM!)  
Here comes the (BOOM!)  
Here comes the (BOOM!)  
Here comes the  
Ya'll don't really want it now (BOOM!)  
Here comes the (BOOM!)  
Here comes the (BOOM!)  
Here comes the  
Ya'll don't really want it now (BOOM!)  
Here comes the (BOOM!)  
Here comes the (BOOM!)  
Here comes the  
Ya'll don't really want it now (BOOM!)_

 _BREAK!_

As Mean Machine rallies from a 3-touchdown deficit with some strange offensive plays before scoring a 2-pt conversion to win the game at 36-35 with no time left on the game clock.

"Hey Guys, check it out I got us a new boat!" Frank Jr shouted to his team about getting a new boat as the New England Patriots come towards him.

" , Brady. You gonna gloat and call me a loser now?" Frank Jr said as he feel like crap since his change the timeline.

"Actually, Frank Jr, you're not a loser at all. What you did just now was pretty ballsy." Tom Brady said as he compliments Frank Jr on having the nerve to stand up to them.

"Really?" Frank Jr said in shocked by that response.

"Absolutely! For one person to make his stand up to the entire New England Patriots team, that's a winner in my book." Tom Brady said as he give him the thumbs up with shining teeth.

"Wow. Thanks, Tom Brady." Frank Jr said as he get up from the field as he see Brady leave.

As we see the family rushing toward him.

"Frank Jr! Oh, my God, are you all right?" Lois said as she hug her grandbaby.

Yeah. Frank Jr said yes response.

"Can you move your legs?" Lois asked him if he could walk.

"Yeah." Frank Jr said again the yes response.

"Oh, good. I thought you were gonna be a vegetable?" Lois said in worried but Frank Jr laughs it off.

"I love you, too, honey. Let's go home." Frank Jr said as he and the family leave towards home.

At the very end of the episode, Brian pushes Stewie in front of a moving London bus.

But Then Frank Jr and the boys push Brian in front of another moving London bus for karma.

Now we join the guys at the hospital in quahog and Frank Jr rubs them in with shame.

"WHAT DID EY SAY, BRUH! I TRIED TO FUCKIN' WARN YA!" Frank Jr said to the Wowed Brian and Stewie in the hospital in quahog. They were hospitalized after suffering from various injuries such as broken arms and legs, therefore Brian and Stewie had to stay in bed and let the family take care of them.

 **Chapter ends**

 **I hope everyone enjoyed! This is thanking for pen123 and Family Guy Fan writer 15, Thank you all for cutaways, scenes, favoring, having me on alerts and with that. So enjoy and see you next chapter.**


	22. Chapter 71: I take thee, Quagmire

**Chapter 71: I take thee, Quagmire**

 **Narrator** _  
_ _Fresh out the net box  
Stop, look, and watch  
Ready yet, get set  
It's Family Guy!_

We see paparazzi taking photos of the cast as they come out of the limo and they walk on the red carpet.

 **Chorus:** _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

First it show Frank waling out of the limo with a poster with the words "oh" and he poses for the camera.

Then its shows Meg comes in looking all sexy as she signs autographs while she winks at the fans.

Then it turn to Lois comes in hopping while grabbing rose as she gives a kiss toward the fans.

 **Chorus:** _Check it, check it, check it  
Now this is just an introduction  
Before I blow your mind  
The show is All of That and yes we do it all the time_

Then it shows Frank Jr poses as he pull his hat down his chest as he throws a rose to the Fans.

Then next person to show up on the carpet is Stewie. As he flips his hat back to his head while he give autographs to fans.

Then Brian comes in sliding on the red carpet as he waves at the fan as he walks in _._

 **Chorus:** _So sit your booty on the floor or in a chair  
Ground or in the air  
Just don't go nowhere_

Then Emily comes in give autographs as she smiles at the fans as she tells one of her fans to call her.

Then the scene shows Persephone puts a rose on her mouth with a sexy angry look on her face.

 **Chorus:** _Cause everything we do  
It's all of that!  
When entertaining you  
We all of that!_

Then Chris shimming down the carp as he gives the fan a shout out.

Then Peter slide towards the carpet as he flips his hat back on his head.

 **Chorus:** _My posse and my crew  
It's all of that!  
So sit still cause we're coming right back_

Then the scene shows John throws a rose at his fans.

As the scene, changes to Tyler puts on rose his mouth as he gives everyone thumbs up.

 **Chorus:** _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

Then scene change to the Family Guy MC Cast walks down the stairs as they take a group photo while looking gangsters of the 80. All this while music ends as the scene fades to black.

We join Peter and Frank Jr on Wheel of Fortune, As Peter was one of the contestants on the show.

"All right, Peter and Frank Jr, you two made it to the Bonus Round. Congratulations." Sajak said as he congratulates the duo for make it to the bonus round.

"Thanks, Regis." Peter calling Sajak "Regis".

"Okay. The category is "Actor & Show." So we need five consonants and a vowel." Sajak asked the category is "Actor & Show." So they need five consonants and a vowel.

"Uh, okay. Um. "Z," four, "Q," another "Q," uh a third "Q" and a Batman symbol." Peter guest the letter z, the number 4, the letter Q three times and the batman symbol.

But they were all wrong guess.

"Okay, no help there. Um take a shot at it. Talk it out." Sajak said as he asked them to that the shot.

"Is it "Alex Karras in Webster"?" Frank Jr guess the answer and they hear the winning bell noise.

The winning puzzle was "Alex Kerras in Webster".

"I don't believe it." Sajak said in shocked as a five mouth baby guessing the answer on his show.

"Oh, my God! Frank Jr just took a shot in the dark!" Peter said in shocked and he was proud of is grandson answer.

"Holy crap!" Frank Jr said as he won and did his victory dance.

"Okay, you have $1,300. Why don't you go ahead and pick out some prizes from our showcase?" Sajak said as he tells them to pick out some prizes from the showcase.

As circles of Frank Jr are on the screen showing showcase prizes.

"Okay, let's see. Uh Oh, boy, everything looks nice." Frank Jr said as he like all the stuff.

"All right, I'll take the ceramic Dalmatian for $600 and, uh Boy, that TV looks nice." Peter said as he picks a ceramic Dalmatian for $600 and he wish he could get the TV.

As they both notice the one free week of maid service and they both agree with it.

"Give me the one free week of maid service and, uh, I'll take the hat rack." Peter said as he wins a free maid for a week.

"Hey, how much for that fat guy in the circle? I don't see a price tag on that." Peter asked about the cicrle that contains his face on it.

That's you, Grandpa. Frank Jr said as he told him about the circle.

Oh, oh, embarrassing. Peter said as he embarrass himself on TV.

"Okay, well, in that case, I'll take the rest on a gift certificate." Frank Jr said as he and peter will take the rest on a gift certificate.

As we join the family watch what happened to Frank Jr and Peter on TV as an episode.

Oh, sweetie, you look so handsome on TV. Lois said as she hugs both Peter and Frank Jr for being handsome on TV.

"I can't believe you two actually won. But I suppose it's not the strangest thing I've seen on a game show. Like when Adam West was on Jeopardy." Brian said as he sets up a cutaway about Adam West was on Jeopardy.

 **Cutaway**

"Alright players, the answer once again is: it was the first spacecraft to land on the surface of Mars" Alex read. "Adam, what was your response?"

Adam displays "KEBERT XELA".

"Kebert Xela. (screams)" Alex Trebek vanishes in space.

"Only saying his name backwards can send him back to the fifth dimension where he belongs" Mayor West said.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now its morning at the Mallque/Griffin House at the Living room as Stewie comes in with a bib toward Lois who was sitting on the couch reading a book.

"All right, whip'em out, woman. It's time for the afternoon meal." Stewie said as he unbutton her teal green buttoned up women's shirt and remove her bra to expose her breast.

"My goodness, Stewie. I guess you're hungry." Lois said as she feel flatter and was ready to feed her son.

As Stewie sucks on Lois nipple and drank her milk like a pig.

"Honey, not so rough this time. Mommy's very sore." Lois said as she felt pain from stewie's sucking on her nipple and moan a little.

"And by the way, let's be clear. I only like you as a friend." Stewie said as he was clear with Lois that he only likes her as a friend.

As the doorbell rings and Peter and Frank Jr answer it and it was their maid, Joan.

"Hi, I'm Joan. I'm, uh, your maid for the week." Joan said as she introduces herself to Peter and Frank Jr.

"Hello, Joan, I'm frank Jr and this is my grandpa Peter!" Frank Jr said as he introduces himself and peter to Joan.

"Me Peter. You maid." Peter said as he acts like a retard and Frank Jr slaps for that.

"Um, I do speak English." Joan said as she tell peter that she speak English.

But Peter acts stupid again.

"You maid, clean for me, Peter. You clean Peter mess." Peter said as he treats her like an idiot which cause Frank Jr to knock him out cold with one punch.

"Grandpa, stop it. She not our slave, she is a person that we treat with respected! Sorry about that Joan, Grandpa just excited for having our on maid for a week." Frank Jr said as he apologies to Joan for what peter did.

"Welcome to our home, Joan. I'm Lois. Won't you come in?" Lois said as she lets Joan into their house and welcome her to their family.

"Oh, boy, my own maid. This is going to kick more ass than that magical ride Grandpa took." Frank Jr said as he sets up a cutaway about the magical ride that peter took.

 **Cutaway**

The intro parodies the opening of Great Space Coaster as Peter is driving the flying vehicle.

 **Singers**

 _It's the Great Space Coaster_

 _Get on board_

 _On the Great Space Coaster_

 _We'll explore_

 _A comet ride of fantasy_

 _To a place where dreams are fast and free_

 _With new friends and new things to see_

 _We'll spin you through the galaxy_

7 Years Later

We see Peter and his friends lost in space, completely dirty.

"Well, we are officially lost" Peter said.

Until Ricky started to sing the song.

 **Ricky**

 _On the Great Space Coa…_

"Shut up Ricky! Shut up right now! Unless the next words out of your mouth are directions on how to get back to the fish skillet, I'm going to punch you right in the stomach!" Peter threatened as he was sick of that song.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join Joan and Peter in the living room as she cleans Peter's belly buttonplus john and Tyler watch over her since they don't trust Peter for being so stupid around people.

"Joan, it's great to have you here. No one's cleaned my belly button in a long time. Lois is afraid to go near there and my fingers are too thick." Peter said as he explains

"What is this?" Joan said as she pull out something from his belly button.

"A carton of Parliaments? I haven't smoked in ten years." Peter said as he has smoked Parliaments in ten years.

Which cause both John and Tyler to raise their eyebrows in question what they saw.

"Hey, keep diggin." John said as he wants to know how much stuff is inside Peter's belly button.

"Oh, Coleco Vision. Yeah. This could be a fun afternoon." Tyler said as he know John's love for video games.

Now we see Frank Jr outside with John and Tyler until they hear complain of Joan.

"Mr. Mallque, this is unbelievably humiliating." Joan said as she was carrying both Frank Jr and the boys on her sholders like a horse.

"Hey, hey, Grandma, wants me to go to the store, and the car's low on gas." Frank Jr said as he told Joan that Lois wants Him, John and Tyler to go to the store, plus the car's low on gas.

As Two Japanese men riding another maid pull alongside Frank Jr, John and Tyler.

"Oh, crap." Tyler said as he spot the two Japanese men.

As Frank Jr put on his racing gloves while John and Tyler make Joan into a race machine

"This is truly a sight to behold. An awesome spectacle. Frank Mallque Jr, a once-great champion of the motor speedway now a study in moppishness. "One of Two Japanese men sounds like Howard Cosell while he berates Frank Jr over a PA system.

"The hell I am! Let's _start our engine!_ " Frank Jr said as he changes Joan into a Honda NSX mode from Kamen rider drive.

"Let's go, Joan Tridoron!" Frank Jr shouted as he drive away fast, leaving the two Japanese men in their tracks.

Now back to the living room of the Mallque/Griffin House as Frank and Brian watches an episode of Malcolm InThe Middle.

"We now return to Malcolm InThe Middle." Announcer guy said.

As we see the family in the kitchen, Hal was reading the newspaper while Lois was screaming at her sons.

"And I told you boys to pick up your clothes and who left the wet towel on the bed?! I swear to God, sometimes I feel like just going on strike! What would you all do if went on strike, huh?! What would you do?! I'm talking to you! You know what?! That's what I'm going to do! I'm going to go on strike, and you can all try living without me! What do you think about that, huh?! That's what I'm going to do! I'm going to do that! I'm going to go on strike!" Lois complains about how unappreciative they are of her.

As Hal takes a small refrigerator door and hits his wife Lois with it to shut her up.

"Kids, we're free. We're finally free." Hal said as he then realizes that he and the kids are free from her tyrannical reign.

As He and the boys then hold hands and walk into the sunset.

Now back to the living room as Lois comes in, as she is in pain.

"Ow! Damn, that hurts." Lois said as she puts on her blouse on and she sat on the couch near Frank.

"What happened?" Brian asked he on what happened.

"I was breast-feedin' Stewie; and he bit me again. I think he might have even broken the skin." Lois tell Brian and Frank about breast-feedin' Stewie; and he bit her again. She think that Stewie might have even broken the skin.

"I see. Um... Maybe we should, uh, you know, uh... look at it. we, uh, we... we have seen a lot of medical shows." Brian said as he and Frank asked her if they could look at her breasts if they were damage.

"You see, the areola is very tender here. And I think one of his new teeth may have bitten down right on the duct." Lois said as she opens her blouse and show her breast to Frank and Brian while she explain where her breast hurt.

As Frank and Brian are at pause, because they are looking at Lois's breast and they have boners.

"I'm sorry, what?" Brian said as they regain vision to Lois even thou Lois was turn on by Frank's boner.

"I don't know what to do, Brian. Breast-feeding's just so painful since Stewie's teeth are coming in. Now I know how Alec Baldwin feels when he feeds his brothers." Lois said as she sets up a cutaway about Alec Baldwin feels when he feeds his brothers.

 **Cutaway**

We see Alec Baldwin breastfeeding his brothers.

"There you go. There you go. Eat up Stephen. You're the weakest" Alec said.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back at the couch with Lois, Frank and Brian.

"Well, maybe it's time to wean Stewie." Brian suggest it's time for Stewie to be wean off of Breast milk.

"Good thing that me and meg wean Frank Jr cold turkey. Cause I ain't doing it a second time so good luck Mom." Frank said as he gives her the thumbs up.

"I suppose it would make my life easier. You know what, I'll give it a try. Thanks Frank and Brian. Lois said as she agrees with it and thanks the duo for the helpful suggestion.

"No problem." Brian said as he leaves Lois alone in the living room with Frank.

"Uh, any other problems you have too, like, for example, around your underpants, that you want me to look at, I could take a look at that too." Frank asked her if she had any problems for example, around her underpants, that she want him to look at, he could take a look at that too.

"Huh?" Lois said question on what he said and she blush at this is getting Horney for both of them.

"Please pull down your underpants." Frank said as he asked her to pull down her underpants so he can check if she has any problems on her downstairs area.

Now it nighttime at the Mallque/Griffin house as peter and the gang were in the kitchen with a watermelon.

"All right, boys, it's my maid's last night, so we got to make the most of it. I filled this watermelon with chocolate pudding and M-80 firecrackers." Peter said as he explains what they are going to do with this prank watermelon.

That's when John overheard their plan on his way toward the living room. He knew only one person that peter will used as a patesi.

Meanwhile in the living room, we see the twins Meg and Persephone watching TV until john arrives to sit right next to them to protect

"Hey, Meg, will you hold this for Daddy?" Peter asked Meg to hold the watermelon.

"Okay, why?" Meg asked him on why thou.

"Uh, it's a present. It's a "Thanks for being such a sweetie" watermelon. So you'll hang on to that?" Peter lied to his daughter.

"Yeah, sure." Meg said okay as Peter rushes

"This is weird. Am I supposed to eat this?" Meg asked her twin and her friend about this watermelon in her hands.

"Hey Meg can I hold that watermelon for a second?" John said as meg give him the watermelon.

Until John gets splattered by a watermelon.

"AAAAUGH! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! Meg shouted as she realized that peter punk john and the twins ran in anger in tears.

"Oh, god its everywhere and in-between me!" John said as he runs up stairs.

"Thanks John!" Frank shouted thanks John for saving the twin from humiliation

As Peter comes in after hearing what happened.

"Oh, maid?" Peter said as he calls for Joan.

As Joan came into the living room and looked shocked.

"Oh, my God!" Joan said in shocked on what happened to the living room.

"Everybody, this is Joan." Peter introduces his friend to the maid Joan.

"Hi." Cleveland said is as his sons nodded agreement.

"Hello." Joe said hi as his sons tip their hats.

Meanwhile Quagmire stare at Joan with love as he imagines himself as Aragorn and Joan the maid as Arwen.

"My life is mine to give to whomever I wish, I choose a mortal life with you Quagmire." Joan said in Elvish.

"Giggity!" Quagmire said as he speaks in Elvish to Joan, he actually says a true Elvish word, "Mithrandir."

"Uh, uh, hey, there. I mean, it's nice to pleasure your acquaintance. I mean, uh, would you like to go out to dinner tomorrow night?" Quagmire

"I'd love to." Joan said as she agree to the date.

"God, he works fast." Joe said as he is shock at quagmire dating skills and the boys were as shocked aswell.

"Hey, Quagmire, is that a banana in your pocket, or an erection in your pocket?" Cleveland asked quagmire if he has an erection in his pocket?

"Do you want to say 9:00?" Joan said the time of their date.

"Sure. See you then." Quagmire said as he agrees with it and was looking forward to it.

"Oh, my God. I'm in love." Quagmire said as he starts his musical number about his new love.

 **Quagmire**

She said 9 O'Clock, She said 9 O'Clock

Can I just keep breathing 'till 9 O'Clock?

He daydreams about the two of them becoming some of the characters in the Disney films Beauty and the Beast. Quagmire was the beast while Joan was Bell and they were dancing on the ball room of beast castle, they sharing a romantic dance. While Peter was Cogsworth the enchanted clock and Cleveland was Lumière the candelabra. They gave quagmire the thumbs up.

 **Quagmire**

Used to be that I thought I was happy, as the world's OBG-Y-N

But at 9 O'Clock, We may see a sight;

Next they became the characters of Lady and the Tramp but as humans instead of dog, Quagmire was Tramp while Joan was lady. As Frank was Tony from Tony's Restaurant, he carries an obese figure. Frank has black hair. He also possesses both black eyes and thick matching Italian-style moustache, tan skin, thick black eyebrows, and lavender circles. He wears a teal vest, a pink long-sleeved shirt with a brief V-cut neckline, collar, and each gold cufflink on both sides of his cuffs, both black string tie and armbands, a white apron, a pair of navy pants, and a pair of brown low-heeled shoes.

While John was Joe works at the restaurant as a chef. john has thick black Italian-style moustache and thick matching eyebrows. He wears a white elbow-length shirt with each couple light gray horizontal buttons vertically on his chest, a white bandanna, a light gray apron, a pair of olive pants, a pair of brown low-heeled shoes, and a white chef hat. Tyler is their waiter of the restaurant and he gave the couple their food.

On their romantic evening, John plays his mandolin when he sings _Bella Notte_ to Lady and the Tramp with his boss Frank, who plays his accordion.

The scene where Quagmire and Joan eat spaghetti together, they eat opposite ends of a single strand of spaghetti until meeting in the middle and kissing. Quagmire then move one meatball next to Joan with his head like tramp did.

 **Quagmire**

Like the world's first rainbow to glow at night.

And if we get a kiss just then...

There'll be giggitys from 9 to 10.

(Instrumental break)

Then they parody Aladdin, Quagmire was Aladdin (disguised as Prince Ali Ababwa) and While Joan was Jasmine. they were riding on the Magic Carpet about the new world that they are about to discover together such as Egypt and Greece while their love for each other blossomed before eventually stopping in China to watch fireworks. But they fled as they were in Baghdad and they miss an incoming missile.

 **Quagmire**

But at 9 O'Clock, We may see a sight;

Like the world's first rainbow to glow at night.

And if we get a kiss just then...

There'll be giggitys from 9 to 10.

As he sighs at the front door after the song ended.

Now we join Stewie and Frank Jr in their room, as they play chess until Lois come in.

"Time for dinner, sweetie." Lois said as she takes a seat on the rocking chair.

"Very well, then, take off your shirt." Stewie said as he take a seat on her lap and he tries to open her blouse. Until she stops him and she gives him a bottle.

"No, honey, no, no. Tonight we're going to have formula instead." Lois said as she tries to wean him.

But Stewie spits the formula milk out.

"That's more disgusting than when Peter went through that Daisy Duke's phase." Stewie said as he objects the whole thing and sets up a cutaway about Peter when he went through that Daisy Duke's phase.

 **Cutaway**

"So who's up for some hoops at the park huh?" Peter said as he wears a Daisy Duke outfit.

"Oh there you are. Come here you basketball!" Peter said.

As he bends down, Brian, Stewie, and Frank Jr. scream in fear.

"It's like a walrus flossing!" Brian groaned.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Back to the living room with Lois, Frank Jr and Stewie.

Now I know it's different than you're used to, but you'll see. It's just as good. Lois said as she put the boys in their cribs.

"Yes, that's what we were promised about Jim Belushi some 25 laugh-free years ago." Frank Jr said as the people promise about Jim Belushi 25 laugh-free years ago.

We join Quagmire and Joan at the sea shore at sunset.

"Wow, it's so lovely here, Glenn." Joan said as she drinks her wine.

"Well, this is our three-week anniversary, Joan. I wanted this date to be special. You know this place is unique because if you're lucky, some nights around sunset, the screaming black dolphins come out." Quagmire said as he explains about the black dolphins.

Oh, wow, really? I've heard they're just beautiful. Joan said in agreement about the black dolphins being beautiful.

As The Black Dolphins talking to each other.

"WHAT'S GOIN ON MAN?' The Black Dolphin said

"WHAT-THE, OH, WHAT'S GOIN ON YOURSELF MAN?" The Black Dolphin said.

"I ALMOST DROWNED YESTERDAY!" The other Black Dolphin said.

"AW MAN, IT'S WET OUT HERE!" The Black Dolphin said.

As we return back to the couple at the beach.

"Oh, look at them." Joan said as she awes at the dolphins.

"They're magical, aren't they? Listen, Joan I have something very important to ask you." Quagmire said as he wanted to asked Joan something important.

Now back to The Black Dolphins talking to each other

"HEY JAY! "The Black Dolphin said.

"AH HUN?" Jay The Black Dolphin said.

"I'M GONNA SEE HOW LONG I CAN HOLD MA BREATH!" The Black Dolphin said.

"I SEE YOU BREATHIN OUT YO HOLE!" Jay The Black Dolphin said.

Now back to the couple on the beach.

"What is it, Glenn?" Joan asked him what's wrong.

"Joan I've decided I want to spend my life with you. Will you marry me?" Quagmire proposes to Joan and he show her a ring.

"Of course, I will! Nothing would make me happier than to be Mrs. Quagmire." Joan said as she agreed with the proposes and she takes the ring.

Now we return to The Black Dolphins talking to each other

"HEY MAN, YOU GOTS SOME SEA WEED ON YO TAIL!" Jay The Black Dolphin said.

"WHAT?" The Black Dolphin said.

"AWWWWW OH YOU KNOW I'M JUST PLAYING WITH YOU!" Jay The Black Dolphin said.

"HA HA AW-AW MAN YOU ALL, AWWWWW, I THOUGHT YOU WERE TALKIN ABOUT SOME OTHER SEA WEED HA HA! "The Black Dolphin said.

"YOU KNOW I GOT JOKES, HA HA!" Jay The Black Dolphin said.

"IM'A SLAP YOU WITH MY FIN!" The Black Dolphin said.

Now we join the gang at the drunken clam as they talk about quagmire's married.

"Man, I never would have thought Quagmire's get married." Joe said as he shocked from hear it.

"I know dude, quagmire is a major pervert extreme!" Frank said in agreement.

"That quagmire is losing his manhood forever!" John said, as he know about marriage.

"I agree with that J-man!" Tyler said in agreement with that comment.

However, Peter does not believe what just happened to quagmire at all

"No, no, I know Quagmire and I'm telling you, this has got to be some kind of prank. You know, like that prank I pulled on Ashton Kutcher." Peter said as he makes a cutaway about him pulled prank on Ashton Kutcher.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter finding Ashton Kutcher.

"Aston, come here" he ordered as he throws a tomahawk at the actor.

"(Laughs) you just been tomahawk'd. That's my show: Tomahawk'd" Peter said to the audience.

 **Cutaway Ends**

We now join the trio in the kitchen, Brian was reading the newspaper, while Frank Jr was write his own comic book, Stewie coloring his coloring book and he was sweating.

Meanwhile Emily enters the kitchen to get a drink of orange juice in the fridge.

"So, how's the weaning going?" Brian asked Stewie about his weaning.

"Oh, it's horrible. Giving up breast milk is the hardest thing I've ever had to do." Stewie said as he is losing it from not having any breast milk in weeks.

As Emily looks at her little brother in worried.

While Frank Jr rise one of his brows sarcastically as the moment could.

"I'll bet the Founding Fathers had an easier time writing the Bill of Rights." Frank Jr said as he set up a cutaway about the Founding Fathers had an easier time writing the Bill of Rights.

 **Cutaway**

We see the founding fathers finishing signing the Bill of Rights.

"Alright, we're done!"

"You think the language in the second amendment is clear enough? You know, about the right to bear arms?"

"Of course it's clear. Every American has the right to hang a pair of bear arms on their wall. How can that possibly be misconstrued?"

"Alright, fantastic then! Wait, you know what? Before we send this to the printer, let's take this abortion thing out."

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join peter and the gang as they walk over to quagmire house for his engagement party.

"Boy, I never thought we'd be going to Quagmire's for an engagement party." Bonnie said as she never thought of going to quagmire's house for an engagement party.

"Yeah mom, it pretty weird for him getting married?" Zeke said in agreement.

"I'm telling you guys, he's putting us on. He's the same old Quagmire." Peter said as he rings the doorbell while telling his friend that quagmire is still the same quagmire.

As quagmire answer the door and he is dress in a blue tuxedo with a red and black stripe tie.

"Hey, there, neighbors-are you lost? Hahaha, I'm just joshing. Of course we're expecting you. Come on in, friends." Quagmire said as he leads them inside his house.

"You all just take your shoes off, there. Joan and I kind of do the Japanese thing." Quagmire said as he tells them to take their shoes off, since he and Joan kind of do the Japanese thing.

As we see the gang taking off their shoe which leave Cleveland all nervous.

"Uh-oh. Foot odor." Cleveland thought about his feet being smelling.

"I have to go. I have, uh terrible foot odor." Cleveland said as he rushes out of house.

This cause Menma and Negi to roll their eyes for what just happed

"Glenn, your place looks wonderful! I feel like I can touch things in here now!" Lois said as she

"We brought you guys a bottle of wine." Zeke said as he show them the wine in Joe's arms.

"Ooh! Montrachet!" Both Joan and Quagmire said in excitement.

"I like our friends." Quagmire said as he like his friends gifts.

Now we see everyone on quagmire dinner room eating.

"So, Joan and I just love Without a Trace, don't we, honey?" Quagmire said as he tells his friends about how he love Without a Trace with Joan.

"Yeah, it's all right." Joan said as she agree with it.

"We think it's all right." Quagmire said as he agree too like a wimp.

This cause peter to react wrong.

"What are you talking about? You hate CBS." Peter said, as he know quagmire hates hate CBS.

"Ooh, hate is a word we don't use in this house. Joan and I always say, if you don't have anything nice to say about someone don't say anything at all. We say that, right, honey?" Quagmire said as he tell them Joan's advice about if you do not have anything nice to say about someone do not say anything at all.

"Sometimes." Joan said as she agree with it.

"Sometimes we say that." Quagmire said as he agree too like a wimp again.

Wow, freaky stuff here! Frank said to himself as he continued eating.

Now we join the gang at the magazine stand and they are reading magazines.

Hey, Quagmire. Check out this month's Hustler, huh? Peter said as he tries to show quagmire an issue of hustler.

"Quagmire?" Frank asked him as he see quagmire reading and issue of country living.

"Now, this is neat. These people have put an old-fashioned Colonial spinning wheel in the center of their living room. As furniture. Oh, that's what I want in my house." Quagmire said he wants an old-fashioned Colonial spinning wheel in the center of his living room.

Now we join the gang at the fuzzy clam as they watch strippers do their dances.

"All right, Quagmire, time for your lap dance." Peter said

No, guys, I can't do that. It's degrading to women. Quagmire said

Come on, Quagmire, it's got to be you. Peter said as he agrues with him being the only guy for this thing.

"Me plus Pop are married; Cleveland has foot odor, and Joe's dead from the waist down." Frank said as he argues that none of the people of their group has what it takes since they have lives and joe is cripple at the waist down.

As we see joe getting a lap dance from a stripper.

"Aaaahhh, Why do you bring me here?!"Joe shout at peter for bring him here for a lap dance

"Ah! Frank and Brian, my breasts are so sore, and they've gotten so engorged from the weaning, I've gone up two bra sizes." Lois said as she complains about her breast getting so swollen, also they been so engorged from the weaning, she gone up two bra sizes.

Well what did you do with the old bras? Frank asked her about her old bras.

As we see Stewie on the swing spy on something with his binoculars.

"Okay, have to time this just right." Stewie said as he spy's at a mother breast-feeding her baby.

As Frank Jr rolls his eyes as he talk with John and Tyler about Stewie.

"Dudes, Stewie losing it, I mean he tries everything. Stewie was trying use Emily's while he being weened." Frank Jr said as he told them that Stewie tries Emily for breastfeed.

As John and Tyler, both look at Emily with worried. However, she shrugs it off.

It did not work out, plus it would have expose my diaper and I am his sister. Emily said, as she would not have it because he is his sister and it could expose her diaper.

"Plus you're not pregnant right?" Tyler asked her while John nodded in agreement.

"Your right Tyler!" Emily replied.

"Hey, where's Stewie now! "John asked his friend on where is the evil baby now.

Now we join Stewie on the swings as he get ride for his heist.

"One, two, three!" Stewie said as he swing right at the mother that he was spying on and he replacing the baby of another mother and he took her milk for a taste.

"Help! Somebody get this baby off me!" The mother shouted as she tries to take Stewie off her awesome breast.

This caused Emily and the gang to rush over to get Stewie off the mother's breast.

"Stewie! I'm so sorry." Emily said as her apologies to the mother while she takes her brother off the mother and walk away.

"By the way, you call those cheap implants "boobs"? They're lies!" Stewie shouted back as he notice that the mother boobs were implants.

Now we join the gang at the Drunken clam as they complain on what happened yesterday.

"I can't believe it. Quagmire's gone all sissy-man Alan Alda on us." Peter said as his mention of Quagmire going "all sissy-boy-Alan Alda" is a reference to Alda's repeated casting as a "sensitive man".

"Well, what can we do about it? The wedding's tomorrow." Frank asked peter on what they can do since the wedding is tomorrow.

"There's only one thing to do. We gotta break it up." Peter said as he has a plan to break it up. Because he becomes irritated by the changes, Quagmire made for his new fiancée.

Now we join Peter and Quagmire infront of the church for the wedding as gust are arriving.

"Gosh, Peter, thanks so much for being my best man." Quagmire said as he thanks him for being his best man.

"No, it's my pleasure." Peter said as he walk away for his plan.

"In fact, I got a wedding surprise for you." Frank said as he tell quagmire that Peter has a gift for him.

"All right, back it up, guys. I know you've got a foot fetish so I got you this Statue of Liberty's foot." Peter said as He tries to get Quagmire back into his own ways, by trying out his foot fetish by acquiring the foot of the Statue of Liberty.

"Oh, thanks, Peter, but Joan's all the foot I need now." Quagmire said, as he doesn't need a giant foot since Joan's all the foot he ever need now.

"What? But, Quagmire, that's the real foot from the Statue of liberty." Frank said as he tells him that the real foot of the woman of liberty.

"No, no, I'm okay." Quagmire said, as he is okay.

This caused the duo to get irritated by quagmire again.

"Hey. Hey. Do you have any idea what I went through to get this? A lot. A real lot. You think this is just: "Oh, here comes Peter with the Statue of Liberty's foot?" "Oh, isn't that a gas?" No, no. The reality, the real reality of getting this together was staggering. You know? This cost me $437,000. Don't ask me how I got it. I had to call in a whole bunch of favors from people I've never even met. So the very least you can do is just rub up against I don't know." Peter said as he argues to quagmire that he spending thousands of dollars and calling many people he does not even know but it does not work.

"Well, if you want I can…" Quagmire said as he tries to calm them down but did not work.

"No, no, no. No. No. It's fine. No." Peter said as he is irritated by the changes Quagmire made for his new fiancée again.

"Whatever. Just go to your wedding, man." Frank said as he tell quagmire to go to his wedding.

As a Spanish man come to them asking them in Spanish about the foot.

"No. No, no, no. Take just get it out of here." Frank said as he tells the man to get it out of here.

Now we join ourselves at the quahog-wedding banquet, as everyone was party and dancing.

We see Peter and Lois at their table and Peter was moping with Frank after he was done dancing with Meg on the dance floor.

"Peter, what's the matter? This is a happy occasion." Lois asking peter what is wrong because this party was a happy occasion.

"No, it's not, Lois. It's horrible. You don't know what happens to a man when he gets married. It's like a disease that rots you from the inside out." Peter said as he tells Lois about Marriage, It is like a disease that rots you from the inside out.

"I know, Peter, but we got to realized that quagmire has change and he want a married live! It's not like nothing sexual will happened that will change him to normal? Frank said as he tell peter that it over.

Until they hear a snap, as they turn to see Lois's top broke and it expose Lois big breasts.

"Oh! Damn it. I can't believe how much my breasts have swollen." Lois said as her breast just swollen up to break her top of her breast and show them how big they are.

This caused quagmire to look at them with awe and Peter notice it. This cause Peter to smile and he tells Frank of his plan.

"Look out." Champagne." Frank said as he pour Champagne on Lois's dress.

"Frank, stop." Lois said as she ties to dry her breast with her hand but it only made hotter for quagmire.

"Oh, mom, you're all wet. Here, let me jiggle you dry." Frank said as he shakes Lois and it make her breast's shake and jiggle.

This caused quagmire to snap out of it.

"Giggity-giggity-giggity... God, I made a terrible mistake!" Quagmire said as he realizing his mistake and he changes back to normal.

As we see Mayor Adam west outside, he seeing the severed foot of the Statue of Liberty

"Oh, my God! You blew it up! You really did it. Damn you all to hell!" Adam west said as he goes through the closing lines of the 1968 film Planet of the Apes.

Now we join quagmire with the gang at the drunken clam freaking out.

"Oh, God, I gotta get out of this marriage." Quagmire said as he turn to Cleveland for help

"Cleveland, how did you get out of yours?" Quagmire asked him on how he got out of his marriage.

"You slept with my wife." Cleveland reply with an angry tone.

"It's easy, Quagmire. Just tell her to hit the bricks." Joe said as he tell quagmire to just dump her already.

"Yeah, you've gotten out of commitments before." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about quagmire getting out of commitments before.

 **Cutaway**

We see Quagmire sleeping with a woman.

"Wow, that was great!" a blonde beautiful woman told Quagmire.

"Sure was! See ya!" Quagmire gets out of bed in white boxers.

"But you said that we were going to get married!" the woman complained.

"No, I only said that so you'd giggoogety my gashmoigin" Quagmire leaves as he laughs like Woody Woodpecker and writes his name on the wall like a woodpecker.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join quagmire at his house at night in the kitchen talking with Joan as she was chopping up some carrots for their dinner.

"So, anyway, what I'm trying to tell you is, uh some of the guys thought we should get a divorce." Quagmire said as he tries to break up with Joan.

"What?!" Joan shouted as she put her knife at her wrists.

"B- b-b-b-but I, I told them they didn't know what they were talking about." Quagmire said as he pussy out of it since Joan has a knife.

"Good. Good. If you ever left me, I'd cut myself, then I'd cut you. I love you, Glenn!" Joan said as she threatens to kill him and then herself if he did so.

"I love you too, insane woman whom I'm having second thoughts about." Quagmire said as he has second thought about her.

"What?!" Joan shout back at him on what he just said.

"All right!" Quagmire said his line.

As we now join, Peter and Lois sleep in their bed until Stewie comes into the room with something. He climb on the bed right next to Lois with a crazy hungry look.

"Yeah, sleep away, woman. But I'm here to claim what's rightfully mine." Stewie said as he bring up a breast pump to milking Lois.

He puts the suction cups on each breast and they begin to take Breast milk out of her breast and into a glass jar.

"Yeah, , yeah. Oh, that's the , yeah, yeah." Stewie said as he steals Lois breast milk by Breast pump. As he walks away towards the door but he didn't realized that someone was spying on him.

As Emily jump right in front of him!

"Surprise, Stewie!" Emily said as she catches Stewie in the act but Stewie accidentally dropped the bottle.

As Stewie tries to lick the milk off carpet until Emily catches him in her arms.

"Dear God Stewie, You got to get a hold of yourself. Look at you, sucking pilfered milk off a dirty carpet." Emily said as he realized what she said and woke up out of his crazy state.

"Oh my god your right Emily, I'm as pathetic as the fat man when he tries to read."Stewie said as he sets up a cutaway about Peter when he tries to read

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter reading a book next to Lois.

"Hey, Lois, what's this word?" Peter asked.

"Evel" Lois answered.

"And this word?" Peter asked.

"Knievel..." Lois answered.

"And this word?" Peter asked.

"Was..." Lois answered.

"And this word?" Peter asked.

"Born..." Lois answered.

"And this word?" Peter asked.

"In..." Lois answered.

"And this word?" Peter asked.

"Montana." Lois answered.

"Oh, hey, Lois. Did you know that Evel Knievel was born in Montana?" Peter asked, as Lois gets frustrated.

 **Cutaway Ends**

You didn't tell her? Joe said in shocked of quagmire chicken out of breaking up with Joan.

"Look, I told you, she was gonna kill herself. What was I supposed to do?" quagmire said as he couldn't let her kill herself.

"Let her. Hahahaha!" Cleveland said as he laughs at his own joke but nobody was laughing.

"No, that's not funny." Cleveland asked his kids and they nodded no.

"Wait a second, Guys. We know she's gonna be upset if you dump her, but if something happened that was out of your control?" Frank said as he suggest a plan to the Gang.

"What do you mean?" Quagmire asked him.

"I mean, we're gonna fake your death!" Frank said as he choose to fake quagmire's death.

With everyone, agree with this plan.

"This is the best idea I've had since Pops invented that soda." Frank said as he has a cutaway about peter invented his own soda.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter promoting a beverage at the office headquarters.

"Gentlemen, I give you Crystal Pepsi. All the great taste of regular Pepsi but without the troublesome opacity. Well, what if you're drinking a regular Pepsi and somebody is coming at you with a knife, huh? You won't be able to see him past your Pepsi. And-And then, who's dead, huh? You. You! You're dead! Stabbed! Crystal Pepsi" Peter announced Crystal Pepsi.

As he stating that it's better than regular Pepsi, in case someone comes at the drinker with a knife and the drinker can't see past the regular Pepsi.

 **Cutaway Ends**

"All right, fellas, I think we did it. This may be the most absolutely perfect fake death in the history of fake deaths." Peter said as They make a video of Quagmire being attacked and killed.

\- What do you guys want? Joan

\- Joan. Um You mind if we come in? There's, um there's been an accident. Peter said

This is, uh, not going to be easy, but, um, it's something you should see. Frank said as he put the video on the vhs player.

So, anyway, here's Quagmire walking through the park minding his own business. Peter explain what going on with quagmire.

I just happened to be there with my video camera, when a ninja shows up! Peter said as the scene show quagmire being attacked by Joe, dressed as a ninja.

"And then a Nazi came!" Frank explain what happed next as Quagmire is shot by Cleveland, dressed as a Nazi, with a toy gun that propels a small, blue ball. The ball bounces off Quagmire and remains lying on the ground

"And then an evil pots-and-pans robot." Peter said while Peter, dressed as "An Evil Pots and Pans Robot", attacks Quagmire.

"Destroy. Destroy." Peter said while Peter, dressed as "An Evil Pots and Pans Robot".

"I imagine you're probably wondering what happened to the body." Frank said as he asked her if she knew what happened to quagmire body.

"Well, we thought of that." Peter said as they show the next scene to Joan.

"Oh, no, Quagmire's dead. Wait. We might still be able to save Oh, no!" Peter said as the scene show quagmire as his body being mauled by a dinosaur while Peter hums the Jurassic Park theme.

As the TV cutaway inside Quagmire's house was over though when Frank turn off the TV.

"We are so, so sorry for your loss." Peter said as he apologies to Joan

"Is this a joke?" Joan asked sarcastically.

"I wish it were, Joan, I wish it were a joke. But these things happen, you know? You go for a walk in the park one day and wheel-chair ninja's and nazi's and pot's and pans robots show up to kill ya, and dinosaurs show up ta eat the remains. You've seen the news."Peter said as he tries to sell it to Joan that it did happened.

"You're not fooling anyone." Joan said as the video fails to convince Joan.

"All right, fellows, Plan B." Peter said as he asked Joe to go with plan B.

Plan B, Quagmire. Joe said as they enact plan B.

As Quagmire come home through the front door.

"Hi, honey, I'm home! Heart attack." Quagmire said as he have a sudden heart attack.

"Glenn! Sweetheart! Is he all right?" Joan said as she worried about her husband.

As Joe went toward quagmire to check on him.

"No, he's dead." Joe said as he check his pulse

"I can tell. I'm a cop." Zeke said as he tell Joan that he is a cop and his father is telling the truth.

"Oh, my God. Are you sure?" Joan asked them if they are sure.

"You know what'll prove it? When people die, they void their bowels." Peter said to Joan that dead body void their bowels.

"He said, when people die, they void their bowels." Frank repeated what peter said in hopes that quagmire had to make it real good on plan B.

Meanwhile outside the house we can hear the gang shouted as quagmire poop his pants.

"Oh my god!" Peter said in shocked.

"Wow!" Joe said in agreement.

"Oh!" Cleveland, Menma and Negi said.

"Hahaha!" Frank laughs at what happened.

"What a jackass." Zeke said in laughter.

\- Well, you look a lot better. Brian said

\- I did it, Brian. Through sheer force of will, I kicked my addiction to breast milk. I just had to find a way to make breasts seem repulsive.

\- Yeah? How'd you do that? John asked Stewie on how he did it.

I made him watched In the Cut. Meg Ryan, topless. Emily said

No thanks. No thanks. Stewie reply as he finally does achieve freedom from Lois's breast milk.

Until Lois came into the living room, looking for Stewie.

"Stewie, Mommy has a surprise for you." Lois said as she open her top.

"What are you doing?" Brian asked heron what she is doing.

"Well, Brian, I thought I was ready to wean him, but I just miss the bonding." Lois said as she explains that she thought she was ready to wean him, but she just miss the bonding.

However, Emily stops her in her tracks.

"Sorry mom, but Stewie has quit cold turkey." Emily said as they notice Stewie running away.

"Oh, I guessed that I have to pump all this milk out of me somehow." Lois said as she go upstairs.

Until she see Frank Jr in his room alone. This caused her to have an idea.

"Oh well, I just won't tell Meg or Frank about this until I reach my forty. When my boobs dray out!" Lois said as she preferring her reduced breast size, she let Frank Jr drink her milk until she reach her forty's.

As Lois enter the room, she put him in her arms and she takes a sit on her rocking chair.

"Junior, Grandma has a surprise for you." Lois said as she open her top.

As Lois forces Frank Jr to continue the feeding under the guise of "bonding".

"No." Frank Jr said until he suck on her breast.

"No! No, put me down! I beg of you! I just kicked the stuff." Frank Jr said until he goes for a second helping.

As Frank Jr tries to quick again.

"Damn you! You sick, twisted I hate you." Frank said as Lois put his mouth back on her nipple with milk.

"I love it." Frank said as he starting to enjoy it.

However, he tries to get off one more time.

"I will kill you!" Frank shouted until he cave in and he continue the feeding.

Now we turn to the hallway to both Frank Jr and Stewie look while hiding behind the front door of their bedroom.

"She doesn't know that kid is my dad age back to his baby stated!" Frank Jr asked his uncle.

Since it was, Stewie plan to make a patsy and Frank Sr was that patsy.

"Until she is in her forty my friend, until her boobs dray up." Stewie explain as they leave Lois and frank alone during his drinking.

We now join everyone and his or her families for quagmire's funeral.

"You sure Quagmire's okay in there?" Joe asked peter if quagmire is okay in the coffin.

"No problem. He's got half an hour of oxygen." Peter explain that quagmire has air for a half hour.

"We'll sneak back later and dig him up." Frank said as he explain to Joe that they will be back to undug quagmire off his grave.

Until he burps and Peter smells it.

"Hey Frank, why does your breath smell like breast milk?" Peter asked him on why his breath smells like breast milk.

"That's none of your business!" Frank reply as he turn to Lois who has a sexual smile on her face and winks at him.

"They must never know, okay and we will continues our feeding sedition in my room okay!" Lois explain to Frank what going happening to them with the breast reduction. Since she found out later off screen on whom she breast feed was to and she like it.

As Frank gulps in nervous for what in store until Death has come and must collect a body.

"Sorry I'm late. I had a meeting over at NBC about Joey." Death remarks that he had to see someone at NBC about Joey

"Death? What are you doing here? Nobody's dying today." Frank asked him on why is he here and there no dead body for him to collect.

"Not according to my paperwork. Says here your buddy Quagmire died of a heart attack." Death explain that quagmire is going to die of a heart attack.

That when John join the conversation.

"I gotta tell you Death, I always thought it'd be rectal trauma." John asked the adults that he thought quagmire will died of rectal trauma.

Unfortunately, their plan hits a chink when Quagmire's coffin is to be covered with concrete.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. What the hell are you doing?" Peter asked them on why they are covering Quagmire's coffin with concrete.

"Well, Mayor West is afraid of zombies, so the city says all caskets must been cased in concrete." The construction worker explain that covering this grave with concrete as Mayor West believes that it will guard against zombies.

This will also prevent the gang from digging up Quagmire.

"You'll thank me when no one eats our brains. You'll thank me." Mayor West said to them that they would thank him when no one eats their brains.

"Hold it! Stop the funeral! Quagmire's not really dead." Peter shouted as he reveals quagmires alive.

As he and Frank remove some of the cement and open the coffin to an alive quagmire.

"Zombie!" Mayor West shouted as he runs away as Frank face palms himself on what just happed.

"Why did we vote for you man!" Frank shouted at west as he runs away.

"Glenn! I thought I'd lost you!" Joan said, as she was relieved.

"Sorry, Mr. Quagmire, but I still need a body to take back with me, so…" Death said, as he is here to collect a body.

However, Joan interrupt him.

"No! You can't take him!" Joan said as she jumps in front of Quagmire and touches John, which kills her.

"What the hell!" John said as he begins to freak out.

This made death realized that he forgot to tell the duo something about them being death for that one time.

"Oh yeah, guys you still have a bit of my power in you but it will go away in next week for sure!" Death explain to the duo about them having a bit of death power of killing people.

"Well that will explain why Brooke Roberts exploded and she is dead!" John said in a sad tone.

As Tyler put his hand on john to comfort him.

"Uh you know, um this is probably not cool. Just throwing it out there. She was suicidal." Peter said inform Death that she was suicidal.

"She was?" Death asked him if she was suicidal.

"Yeah, absolutely." Quagmire said in agreement.

"I have heard that, too." Cleveland said as he heard her say it too.

"And her last name was Quagmire." Frank said as he inform Death that her last name was Quagmire.

"Well, good enough for me, I gotta go. I got tickets to Celine Dion Concert. I'm not gonna kill her, I'm just gonna watch her die on her own." Death said as he is going to a Celine Dion show but he is not going to kill her, he is going to watch her die on her own.

"Anyone? Anyone?" John said as he like this joke and he asked anyone to high five him.

Someone did high five John and he died too.

Now we join the gang as they celebrate quagmire's freedom of his crazy ex-wife.

"It's good to have you back, Quagmire." Peter said, as he is happy for Quagmire to be back with the gang.

"It's good to be back, Peter." Quagmire said In agreement.

Therefore, Death takes her body, allowing Quagmire to live. Not before, he asked death for something.

"Hey, Death? Can you leave that body here for another five minutes?" Quagmire asks Death to leave the body for five minutes.

"Hehehehe, That's Quagmire." Peter said as he laughs at quagmire actions.

Now we see Quagmire pecking wood just like Woody Woodpecker with the words "Giggety giggety goo".

 **Chapter end**

 **I hope everyone enjoyed! This is thanking for pen123 and Family Guy Fan writer 15, Thank you all for cutaways, scenes, favoring, having me on alerts and with that. So enjoy and see you next chapter.**


	23. Chapter 72: Sibling rivalry

**Chapter 72: Sibling rivalry**

 **Narrator** _  
_ _Fresh out the net box  
Stop, look, and watch  
Ready yet, get set  
It's Family Guy!_

We see paparazzi taking photos of the cast as they come out of the limo and they walk on the red carpet.

 **Chorus:** _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

First the scene shows Frank waling out of the limo with a poster with the words "oh" and he poses for the camera.

Then its shows Meg comes in looking all sexy as she signs autographs while she winks at the fans.

Then it turns to Lois comes in hopping while grabbing rose as she gives a kiss toward the fans.

 **Chorus:** _Check it, check it, check it  
Now this is just an introduction  
Before I blow your mind  
The show is All of That and yes we do it all the time_

Then it shows Frank Jr poses as he pulls his hat down his chest as he throws a rose to the Fans.

Then next person to show up on the carpet is Stewie. As he flips his hat back to his head while he gives autographs to fans.

Then Brian comes in sliding on the red carpet as he waves at the fan as he walks in _._

 **Chorus:** _So sit your booty on the floor or in a chair  
Ground or in the air  
Just don't go nowhere_

Then Emily comes in give autographs as she smiles at the fans as she tells one of her fans to call her.

Then the scene shows Persephone puts a rose on her mouth with a sexy angry look on her face.

 **Chorus:** _Cause everything we do  
It's all of that!  
When entertaining you  
We all of that!_

Then Chris shimming down the carp as he gives the fan a shout out.

Then Peter slide towards the carpet as he flips his hat back on his head.

 **Chorus:** _My posse and my crew  
It's all of that!  
So sit still cause we're coming right back_

Then the scene shows John throws a rose at his fans.

As the scene, changes to Tyler puts on rose his mouth as he gives everyone thumbs up.

 **Chorus:** _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

Then scene change to the Family Guy MC Cast walks down the stairs as they take a group photo while looking gangsters of the 80. All this while music ends as the scene fades to black.

Now we see the red highlights and black hair boy from the last few chapter is spy at the Mallque/Griffin house as we join the family in the kitchen at night. We see Lois comes in and she asked Chris something.

"Chris, did you get your homework done?" Lois asked Chris if he is done with his homework.

"Yup. Chris said as he is done with his homework.

"Chris, I know when you're lying to me, just like Santa Claus knows when you're sleeping." Lois said as she set up a cutaway about Santa Claus knows when you're sleeping.

 **Cutaway**

We see a young couple in bed making out.

"What was that?" the blonde woman asked.

"What the hell?" the man asked in an angry tone.

It was…Santa Claus.

"Uh hey" he greeted as he uncovers his shirt to reveal his hairy chest.

"GET OUT OF HERE!" the man screamed.

"Okay okay!" Santa said.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back at the kitchen with Lois and Chris.

"No, Mom. I got it all done. For my science homework, I had to make a shoebox diarrhea of the evolution of man." Chris said as he explains that he make a shoebox diarrhea of the evolution of man.

"You mean diorama." Lois said as she corrected him

"Uh oh?" Chris said as he might of goof this one.

While John and Tyler look at Chris with disgust since he made his assignment with poop.

As we see Peter returning home with something to help Lois.

"Hey, Lois, I got your pregnancy test. What the hell you need this for?" Peter asked her on why she need a pregnancy test.

"I need it because I think I might be pregnant." Lois said as she thinks that she is pregnant.

"What?! My God, are you sure it's yours?" Peter said in shocked.

As we turn to the kid on the table and they look shocked from what they just heard.

"Wow, grandma might be pregnant!" Frank Jr said as he looks shocked by this news.

"Lois pregnant? I didn't think the fat man still had that kind of marksmanship. But that's what they said about Lee Harvey Oswald." Stewie said as he makes a cutaway about Lee Harvey Oswald marksmanship.

 **Cutaway**

The scene shifts to a parade.

"Hey Mr. President! Mr. President! I'm up here! I voted for you! Wait a minute! That guy on the grassy knoll got a gun. He's gonna shoot the President. Holy smokes, I've got to do something! All right, Lee, time to become an American hero" Lee Harvey Oswald takes out his gun.

 **Cutaway Ends**

We join the Peter and Lois's room as Lois taking a pregnancy test in the bathroom.

"Okay, one more minute, and then if there are two pink lines..." Lois said as she wait for the results of the test.

"Oh God, I hope you're not pregnant, we can't afford another kid. We already got Chris, Stewie, Meg, Persephone, Emily, Richie, Joanie, Greg, Marsha, Bobby, Jan, Mike Seaver, Carol Seaver, Boner, Urkel, Mr. Furley..." Peter said as he mentions Richie and Joanie Cunningham from Happy Days. Greg, Marcia, Bobby, and Jan Brady from The Brady Bunch. Mike and Carol Seaver, and Richard "Boner" Stabone from Growing Pains. Steve Urkel from Family Matters. Mr. Furley from Three's Company.

"Peter, those aren't your kids. That's the Nick Nite lineup." Brian said as he knows those name are from the Nick Nite lineup.

"Blanka, Zangief, Chun-Li, Guile, E. Honda..." Peter said as he begins naming Street Fighter II characters, specifically Blanka, Zangief, Chun-Li, Guile, and Edmond Honda.

"That's _Street Fighter_." Brian said as he again points out this fact.

"Red, blue, green..." Peter said as he names various colors.

"Those are colors." Brian said as he again points out this fact.

"God, I can't believe we weren't more careful. This probably happened that night we tried role-playing." Lois said as she set up a cutaway about their role play while they have sex.

 **Cutaway**

We see Lois in a cute schoolgirl outfit.

"Oh, I need a spanking. I'm a bad, bad girl" Lois said in a seductive tone.

"I'm a paladin with 18 charisma and 97 hit points. I can use my helm of disintegration, and do One-D-Four damage as my half-elf mage wields his plus five holy avenger" Peter smiled.

"Paladins can't use the helm of disintegration" Lois disagreed.

"Okay, then I'm a black guy" Peter corrected.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the bedroom with Lois and Peter waiting for the results of the pregnancy test.

"Oh, thank God it's negative." Lois said, as the results were negative.

"Dodged a bullet there, huh? Although, I got to tell you, I was, uh, kind of getting used to the idea of having a little brother or sister." Peter said in relief but he was hoping for a new baby.

"Peter, we can't risk these things anymore." Lois said, as she cannot take anymore child-making chances.

"You're absolutely right. Lois, you're getting your tubes tied." Peter said as he decide for Lois to get her tubes tied.

"Why should I get my tubes tied? You should get a vasectomy." Lois said as she argues with him getting a vasectomy instead.

"First of all, I don't know what that is. And second of all, no freakin' way!" Peter said as he is nothing get a vasectomy since it will make him half a man.

"Pops, it's the male equivalent of a woman getting her tube's tied, except it's actually a lot quicker and safer." Frank explains that a vasectomy more quicker than a women getting her tubes tied.

Let these guys explain. Brian said as tells peter that the some people will explain to him while The Barbershop Quartet enter the room through the door.

They explain to Peter what a vasectomy entails, in the song "Vasectomy".

 **Quartet:**

A vasectomy's a medical procedure

One that makes you half a man

As the trio of Frank Jr, John and Tyler appear right next to them as they sing their part of the song.

 **Frank Jr, John and Tyler**

You're half a man

As the quartet enters the room with Frank Jr, John and Tyler following them. They circle Peter

 **Quartet:**

Remember when you twisted up your garden hose

Well, essentially, that is the plan

 **Frank Jr, John and Tyler**

That is the plan

"Well, I'm startin' to get the picture, but how's it done?" Peter asks them on how it done.

As the quartet put peter in a chair and they show him a diagram of the operation.

 **Quartet:**

You make a small incision in the scrotal skin

Isolate the vas and then,

As the quartet show Peter, which they need to cut a small incision in the scrotal skin. As the trio take over for the echo of the song during the explanation.

 **Frank Jr, John and Tyler**

Isolate the vas and then you

As they, all dance together and then the trio explain about snip the fibrous tissue.

 **Quartet:**

hold it in position with a towel clamp

Then you snip the fibrous tissue

As Frank Jr and one of the quartet appear underneath Peter legs and they sang their bit.

 **Frank Jr and Bass Solo:**

Then you snip the fibrous tissue

As John and Tyler dance around Peter, then they join the quartet as they all circle Lois Griffin.

 **John, Tyler and Quartet:**

Hey but you'll never have to wear a condom

When you do it with your wife

As the Quartet Covering Lois' ears while they sing about the girls peter could have did it with.

 **Quartet**

...or anyone else you do it with. We promise not to tell, like that new hot chick at work. You know, the one who always has high beams under her ribbed-white cotton T-shirt, but then stares daggers at you for checking her out, and it's like, why do you wear that if you don't want attention? But you know you shouldn't think that way because of the sexual harassment meeting you all had to go to. Seriously, how lame was that? And you couldn't help but notice that the female lawyer running the seminar had a huge rack, like, ridiculously huge for someone who has to talk about that kind of stuff. Well, I guess that's the definition of the word...

As they join to say their last saying about the topic of peter's women chances.

 **John and Tyler plus the Quartet**

I-ron-y

 **Frank Jr**

Goodbye

 **Quartet**

Say goodbye to manhood

 **Frank**

Goodbye

 **Quartet**

Say goodbye to babies

 **Meg**

Goodbye

 **Quartet**

Say goodbye to kids like Persephone and Meg

As they leave the room, waving their hat in the air as Frank Jr was the last one with one of the quartet.

 **Frank Jr and Bass Solo:**

Vacuum out your sack

As Frank Jr, close the door and his father Frank clap for him and his friends for that performance.

Now we join the family in the kitchen eating their breakfast as peter enter with one last chance to save his balls.

"Lois, I know how to settle our vasectomy dispute." Peter said as he drag Lois outside of the house.

As Frank Jr seems interested on what his grandfather is doing for saving his balls.

"Let's see what he want now!" Frank Jr said as he follows him outside.

As Lois and Frank Jr look in awe of two funny cars parked on their garage parking lot.

"A no-rulers funny car race from here to Boston. Last, one to Fenway gets snipped." Peter said as he challenges Lois to a funny car race to Fenway Park in Boston where the loser gets a vasectomy.

"Peter, what the hell? Where did these things come from?" Lois asked him on where he get his kids.

As Menma and Cleveland, arrive to explain about the cars in the griffin yard.

"They were Loretta's please take them, they are no longer funny to me and dad." Menma said as he explain that the cars were Loretta, both he and Cleveland were sick of them.

"Go!" Peter shouted as he take the orange car in ridiculous speed.

While Lois sighs and she get on the pink car with Frank Jr and she drive at the right speed while they listen to Shania twain playing you're still the one on the radio.

Meanwhile peter was drive very fast and he past many cars to make to the exist to Fenway 2 miles.

Then we join Lois on her car with Frank Jr still listening to Shania twain playing you are still the one on the radio while being honk at by a passing trunk.

Almost there. Eat my dust, lois. Peter said As Peter almost makes it, but a duck boat ride distracts him.

"Eeeeeehe!" Peter exclaiming on choosing to win the race or duck boat ride.

As we join Lois and frank Jr on Fenway waiting on peter since they won the race.

Now the scene changes to peter goes there on the duck boat ride instead of to Fenway.

"Hehehehe!" Peter laughing on how much fun he is having right know.

After he was done with the ride, when he arrives and finds Frank Jr and Lois at Fenway Park eating hot dogs.

"I'll always be a man with no sperm who once had a wonderful day." Peter exclaims parodying a line of Cornelius Hackl in Hello, Dolly!

Now we join Peter with the guys at the drunken clam.

"Well, guys, my vasectomy is tomorrow." Peter said in sadness.

"You poor bastard." Cleveland said as his pity's peter of losing his balls.

"After all, sex is pointless without potency." Menma said in agreement.

"That's right. You take the venom out of a cobra, and what have you got?" Quagmire asking the question if you take the venom out of a cobra, and what have you got

"You got a... a belt." Negi said to that statement.

"It's not that big a deal. A lot of the guys on the force have had vasectomies, and their lives haven't changed at all." Joe said as he tells them it's not a big deal.

"Would you ever have one?" Cleveland asked him if he did have a vasectomy.

"Never!" Joe shouted as he slams Cleveland head on the table three time until he takes a drink until Menma retaliated him by doing the exact same thing on him but 10 times the pain.

"Heh, you should of stay quiet, huh Joe!" Frank reply as he laughs at Joe karma.

"Well, yeah, but what if me and Lois do end up wanting another baby? It'll be too late." Peter said as he complain that he want kids later on the road but it will be too late for it now.

"You could freeze some of your sperm at the sperm bank just in case." Cleveland suggest that peter should freeze some of your sperm at the sperm bank just in case.

"I don't know, Cleveland. It didn't work out so great that time I froze my nuts." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about peter frozen his nuts.

 **Cutaway**

The scene shifts to an actual footage of the movie Ice Age. Scrat was trying to get his nuts free from the bank of snow.

"No! No! Bad squirrel! Those are my nuts! My nuts!" Peter shouted. "Ah, you're just a hungry little fellow, aren't you? But those are my nuts. No! Oh, God, no! My nuts! My nuts!" he gets attacked afterwards.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join the babies plus Brian, John, Tyler and Emily at Quahog public playground. As Frank Jr, Maddie, her sister Rosie and Stewie went to Brian for a game to play.

"Hey, Brian, you want to play tag?" Stewie asked him if he play tag

"No." Brian said no to stewie until Frank Jr take his turn.

"Freeze tag?" Frank Jr suggest Freeze tag

"No." Brian said no to Frank Jr until Maddie takes her turn.

"TV tag?" Maddie suggest TV tag.

"No." Brian said no to Maddie until Rosie take her crack on Brian.

"If we can get some guys, you want to play Red Rover?" Rosie asked him if she and the group get some guys, he would want to play Red Rover.

"No. Maybe. You get the guys first, we'll talk about it." Brian said maybe until they get the guys first.

"Yes!" the kids cheered as they went towards the jungle gym but they were block by some kid.

"No! Junglegym mine!" The fat kid shouted at the kids.

"Hey, where'd you get the Pete Rose haircut?" Stewie said to the kid.

Until Maddie kicking a child in the testicles.

"Aaaah!" The kids shouted in pain as Maddie and stewie climb into the jungle gym.

"Wow!" Frank Jr and Rosie shouted in awe as they follow them to the jungle gym.

"Anyone else want to feel my Reebok in their grapes? Then you'll all do as I say!" Stewie said as he tell every kids that he is in charge in the park.

"Hi." A girl said as she appear on top of the jungle gym surprising the kids.

"Well, hello there." Stewie said hello to the girl.

As the kid moans in pain cause of him being kick in the nuts, Maddie cheers.

"Yes, that's right, cry. Cry like Sauron when he lost his contact lens." Maddie said as she sets up a cutaway about Sauron lost his contact lens.

 **Cutaway**

We see Sauron freaking out.

"Nobody move, nobody move. D- Does-Does anybody see it? It might be stuck to a tree or a rock. Anyone? Oh, I am so grounded" Sauron complained.

 **Cutaway Ends**

As we join Peter going to sperm bank to get some eggs to freeze.

"Hi, there. Peter Griffin. I've, uh, got an appointment with my doctor to, uh, banish a white Russian from my kremlin." Peter said the nurse at the front desk.

"Well, we don't have empty rooms right now, but if you'll have a seat..." the nurse asked him to take a seat.

"Yeah. Uh, I kind of, uh, warmed myself up in the car, if you catch my drift." Peter said as he explains to her that he already started in the car and he has a boner to relief.

"I could put you in the storage freezer." The nurse said to peter that he could relief himself in the freezer.

"That'll work." Peter said yes to that response.

As the nurse and peter walk toward the freezer until door number 8 open to reveal samous.

"Nurse, I've got a splinter." Samous said as he has a splinter.

Now we join peter as he enter the freezer while the nurse was near the door.

"Just come out whenever you're done." The nurse said as she close the door.

Now we join Peter in the storage freezer as He accidentally knocks a large rack of samples over.

"Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!" Peter said as he tries to hold until the large rack falls over his body.

"Oh, God, I... I think I feel them moving." Peter said, as he is covers in sperm.

Now back to the front office of the sperm bank we see a lesbian couple coming through.

"Hi. My partner and I want to have a baby. We'd like a vial of sperm, eggs and an applicator that looks like Jody Foster's knuckles." The butch asked the nurse some sperm.

"Certainly. Let me just go to the freezer." The doctor said as she towards the freezer to see peter leave it.

"Mr. Griffin, you were in there an awfully long time. Are you all right?" The doctor asked him how long has he was in there.

"Yup, yup, fine, fine. And, uh, just so you know, everything in there is exactly the way it was when I went in. There is absolutely zero chance that I spilled all the jars and had to refill them with my own sperm. Zero chance." Peter said as he tells the nurse that he did what he did and nothing change in there.

Nine month later in a thunderstorm as the couple were in the hospital. As the blonde woman was delivering her baby with her partner.

"Aaaaaaahaaaaahaaaaaaaa!" The women yelled in pan as she was crying screams of pain as she in her final stage of delivery.

"It's a boy!" The doctor said as the doctor passé the baby to the new couple.

"Victory shall be mine!" Baby shout as it was reveal to be Bertram, stewie half-brother was born into the world.

Now we join Frank and peter watching TV in the living room.

"We now return to Tony Danza and Sylvester Stallone in... What?" the announcer said.

As we see Tony Danza starred in a movie with Sylvester Stallone, where neither of them could be understood, called What?

"Hey!" Tony Danza mumbling incoherently to Sylvester.

"Hey." Sylvester Stallone mumbling incoherently back to Tom.

"Guess who I ran into at the store. Sylvia d'angelo." Tony Danza mumbling incoherently to about him meeting someone, he meet Sylvia d'angelo.

"The girl who stood me up at the prom?" Sylvester Stallone mumbling incoherently about the women who broke his heart.

"That's the one." Tony Danza mumbling incoherently to Sylvester that he was correct.

"You know, she broke my heart and probably never even realized it. That's why I build these birds houses all day long." Sylvester Stallone mumbling incoherently as he explain why she did and why he makes birdhouse.

"What?" Tony Danza mumbling incoherently as he is confused.

As the TV turn off and it was, reveal to be Lois who came in with the remote.

"Peter, we have to talk. We haven't had sex since your vasectomy." Lois said, as she knows that Peter's sex drive becomes nonexistent since after the vasectomy.

"Ah, I just don't feel like it, Lois, seeing as how I'm not a real man anymore." Peter said, as he does not fell it anymore.

"Honey, it was just a simple operation. It's no reason to give up on your sex life." Lois said, as she wants some sex please.

"I don't know, Lois. I'm just not feeling it anymore. Besides, it gives me time to try new things. Like that time I tried wearing adult diapers." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about himself trying adult diapers.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter enter the kitchen.

"Hey, Lois. Hey, kids. Oh, boy, that smells delicious. You know, I'd love to stay and eat with you, but, I got to go meet Cleveland, Joe and Quagmire down at…the bar, so, uh, just put my dinner in the fridge, and I'll heat it up later. Love ya'" Peter said as he apparently soiled himself in his adult diaper.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Back At the playground, Stewie and the crew's giving orders to the kids.

"You, go get me an ice cream!" Maddie said one kid to get her ice cream.

"You, clear the slide. I'm going down in five minutes." Stewie said to other kid to clear the slide.

"You, did you get me my Cheese Whiz, boy?" Frank Jr said as Elwood Blues from the movie throws him his Cheez Whiz.

"You're my boyfriend." The girl said to Stewie that he is her boyfriend.

"Yes, dear, of course I am. Now where's Lloyd with our Fun Dip?" Stewie said as he wants to know where his slave Lloyd with their fun dip.

"Good God, running an empire is harder than finding diversity in the Abercrombie & Fitch catalogue." Frank Jr said as he sets up a cutaway about finding diversity in the Abercrombie & Fitch catalogue.

 **Cutaway**

Brian, Stewie, and Frank Jr. look at an Abercrombie magazine. They spotted a black Waldo.

"There he is! There he is right there" Stewie said.

"Ah! Found him!" Brian said.

"Oh, that was a tricky one" Frank Jr. agreed.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the jungle gym, as the talking babies notice the other kids are leaving the territory.

"What the deuce is all the commotion?" Stewie said as he spots the kid in a crowd and listing to him of his crew.

Then Stewie and the gang made chase toward where the group of children were.

"All right! Out of my way! Move aside! What the hell is so bloody fascinating?" Stewie said as they move right passed the kids to see what so fascinating.

Until they saw who it was, it was Bertram!

"You!" Frank Jr said in shocked, as he is point at Bertram.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't my half-brother, Stewie! And My nephew, Frank Jr!' Bertram said as he is reunited with his family in the park.

"Bertram! We haven't seen you since our microscopic encounter." Frank Jr said in shocked as they haven't seen him since they tried to kill peter's sperm.

"How the deuce did you get out of Peter's testicles?" Stewie asked him on how did he escape from Peter's testicles?

"He donated sperm." Bertram said his response

"Gross." Frank Jr said, as he is gross out.

"Well, I don't mean to be a discourteous host, but this is my playground. I and my cohorts rule this territory." Stewie said as he explains that he and his crew rule this territory.

"My, my. What an amusingly misguided view. Very well, then. You leave me no choice but to declare war." Bertram said as he declares war against Stewie for rule of the playground.

Until Frank Jr steps into the conversation.

"Good luck with that Bertram, cause you sir are alone. While I, Stewie, Maddie and Rosie are the perfect team!" Frank Jr said as he tell Bertram that he does not stand a chance against them.

Meanwhile Maddie and Rosie, give Bertram a raspberry at his face to piss him off.

As John and Tyler were looking for the babies until they spot Bertram.

Uh okay, what is that kid? John asked Tyler on who Bertram is.

As Tyler shrugs as the red head boy come next to them and responded.

"Uh, he is Bertram, Stewie's half-brother and he is evil boy genius." The boy said as he leaves the bushes.

"WHO THE HELL, IS THAT GUY?" Tyler said while he shouting in being spooked.

Now we are back with Stewie and the babies.

"As Frank Jr said is true, but so be it! We will do to you what _B.C._ does to comedy on a daily basis." Stewie said as he sets up a cutaway about B.C. does to comedy on a daily basis.

 **Cutaway**

The scene shifts to a comic book scene.

"Hey, why is Juan so happy?"

"I think he finally figured himself out."

"Huh, I guess it takes Juan to know Juan."

Hahahaha! Frank Jr and Stewie said as they pops up laughing in a maniac tone.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join Frank, John, Tyler, Brian and Peter in the kitchen eating sandwiches. Until Lois enter the room as she is fat as hell.

"Hey, boys, you having a midnight snack?" Lois asked them if they are having a snack.

"HMM." Frank hummed while eating his sandwich

"MMM-HMM."John reply in agreement while he too eat his sandwich.

While both Tyler, Peter and Brian nodded yes to Lois as she goes toward the icebox.

"I'm just gonna grab something, too, and go back to bed. Alone. Again. Night." Lois said as she leave with a leftover pizza and she is piss off.

"You know, Lois has gotten kind of fat since you guys stopped having sex." Brian asked peter since Lois is getting fat because he stop having sex.

"It might be time to, uh... you know... have some sex." John said to peter that he might have some sex with her to get things back to normal.

"You know, at first, I didn't want to do it 'cause of the vasectomy, but now it's just... I mean, look at her. She's got elbow cleavage." Peter said as he thinks she getting too fat for him.

With Frank and Tyler shrugged in agreement.

"You know, that little wrinkle that fat people get on their elbows that looks like a schwa? I mean, you wouldn't have sex with her, would you?" Peter asked Frank and Brian if they would have sex with Lois even thou she is fat.

"Oh, yeah, I would." Frank said yes with no argument.

"Really?" Peter said as he looks at frank in awe.

"Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, I would do everything to her. I don't care what she looks like. I would wreck that chick to the point she is pregnant and she leaves you since I'm hot as hell man." Frank said, as he would do anything sexual to the point she leave peter since he is sexy as hell.

While John and Tyler nodded with that response while Brian realized THAT Frank would win Lois in the end if he were in Lois chase game.

"Well, you are a trooper, Frank." Peter said as he went back to eating.

Now we join Frank Jr, Peter and Lois at a restaurant as they tried to get to a table but Lois has deliberately puts on more weight, eventually becoming about the same size as Peter.

"Sorry, fat wife coming through. Sorry, sorry, excuse me, fat wife." Peter said as he drag Lois around tables while making fun of her weight.

"Oh, hold on a sec." Frank Jr said as, he move two table out of the way to move Lois threw.

"All right, bring her through." Peter said as he signals her to move which piss her off.

"Peter, Frank Jr, stop it. For God's sakes, you're embarrassing me." Lois said as she tells them to stop since they are embarrassing her.

"Not as embarrassed as I was when I got that job entertaining prison inmates." Peter said as he set up a cutaway about his job entertaining prison inmates.

 **Cutaway**

"Do it again, Griffin" inmate 1 said.

"Come on, I just did it like five…" Peter whined.

"Do it!" inmate 2 ordered as Peter dropped his pants down to his tighty whities and danced.

 **Peter:**

 _My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard_

 _And they're, like… it's better than yours_

 _Damn right, it's better than yours_

 _I could teach you, but I'd have to (sobbing) charge_

As Peter begins crying after his performance.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the restaurant with Peter, Frank Jr and Lois.

"Look, Grandma, with all due respect, you've gained some weight recently." Frank Jr said as he tell hers the truth that she is gain weight.

While Lois was butter, her bread roll to eat it.

"It's five pounds at the most. It's not a big deal." Lois said as she shrugs it off.

"It's a slippery slope, Lois. You start with five pounds, and then one day, boom, you wake up, and you're on The Practice with sixteen rings in your ear." Peter said if she gain more weight , one day she wake up, and on The Practice with sixteen rings in her ear.

"You're one to talk. Look how fat you are." Lois said as she points out that he is way fatter than her.

"Lois, men aren't fat. Only fat women are fat. Now, if you'll excuse us I have to go warn the chef that you've arrived." Peter said as he blatantly says that men can't be fat. Then he leave toward the kitchen to tell the chief that his wife is fat.

This causes Lois' eating out of frustration by dinner rolls.

"He wants fat? I'll show him fat. The only reason I'm eating anyway is because I hate him. He won't touch me." Lois said as she into eating out of spite for what peter had said to her.

She then takes a basket of rolls from a waiter, which turns out to be Hagoromo Uzumaki, Frank's secret son.

"Do you think I'm fat?" Lois asked Waiter if she is fat.

"Only if you think the guy next to me is a serial killer." Hagoromo the Waiter said as he point at the waiter next to him is trying to kill someone.

"What?" Lois said in confusion.

"Nothing." Hagoromo the Waiter said, as he jump the murder and drags him away.

Now we join the babies leading an army of kids against Bertram and his army.

"Attention, all hands! We're going to launch a massive air strike against Bertram and his army.' Stewie said to his troops of kids.

"Behold the armada!" Frank Jr said as he point out the thousands fighter jet fleet.

"It's quite simple, actually. You press the smiling duck to take off, the cow with the bow tie to fire weapons, and the clown face is just a clown face, enjoy it." Stewie tells the other children to press the cow with a bow tie to fire missiles and the clown face is just a clown face.

"Now, battle stations, everyone!" Maddie shouted at everyone to get on his or her fighter jets.

As the babies of Stewie's army enter their planes and rise in the air for battle.

"At Stewie's signal... Unleash hell." Frank Jr said as they went to the location on the jets and they meet Bertram army.

"What took you guys so long?" Bertram asked them on are they late for their battle.

"What took you so ugly?" Stewie said a witty comeback at Bertram.

As both Stewie and Bertram shoot their missiles at each other but they dodge.

As fight between Stewie's fighter jet fleet and Bertram's helicopter forces begins.

There were multiple casualties on each side until it was just Frank Jr, Maddie with Rosie and Stewie vs Bertram.

They fighting each by shooting missiles until they crash each by using their last missile.

We see Stewie, Maddie, Rosie and Frank Jr eject into their parachutes, as their air forces proves inconclusive.

They bump into Bertram as he and Frank Jr started a slap fight until they were all trap in trees next to each other.

"Well, now what?" Maddie asked them.

"Want to play 20 Questions?" Bertram asked them if they play 20 Questions.

"Sure, uh, is it a man?" Stewie agree with play as the girls nodded while Frank Jr tries to spot John and Tyler for they can leave the trees.

"Yes." Bertram answer yes.

"Is he famous?" Maddie asked him if the person is famous.

"Yes." Bertram answer yes.

"Is he under 40?" Rosie asked him if the person is under 40.

"No." Bertram responded no.

"Over 40?" Frank Jr asked him if the person is over 40.

"Yes." Bertram answer yes.

"On television?" Stewie asked him if the person on TV.

"Yes." Bertram answer yes.

"On television now." Maddie asked him if the person is on TV now.

"No." Bertram responded no.

"In the past 20 years?" Rosie asked him if the person was on TV in the past 20 years.

"Yes." Bertram answer yes.

"Is it Richard Mulligan?" Stewie asked him that the person is Richard Mulligan.

"Yes!" Bertram said yes, as the babies look so smug at they won the game.

"Even until now, we've been fighting Bertram on his terms." Maddie said as she and the crew were on toy horses.

"Whoa. Easy, easy, girl. Easy, easy, easy." Frank Jr said as he pulls back off his toy horse and tells it to calm down.

"However, I propose an invasion." Stewie said as he tell his army that they need to invade them now.

"We have to fight him over there by the swing set, so we do not have to fight him here at the sandbox." Rosie said as she tells them that they fight him over there by the swing set, so we do not have to fight him here at the sandbox.

As Stewie girlfriend run towards them in a hurry.

"Stewie." Stewie's girlfriend said as she appear next to him with a message from Bertram.

As Rosie takes the letter from her hands and she read it.

"What's this? A letter of surrender. We did it!" Rosie said in cheer as they finally won their battle.

"Whew. It's a good thing, too, because I really didn't have an exit strategy." Stewie said in relief since he did not have a backup plan.

"Yay, Stewie." His girlfriend said as she hug him.

"Oh, thank you, darling, I... What is this, makeup?" Stewie said as he notice her having makeup, so he take off the makeup off his girlfriend.

"Are you wearing makeup?" Rosie asked her sister and friend in worried.

"Chicken pox." Stewie said as he was infecting with chickenpox.

Then the other babies were infecting with chickenpox as well.

"Damn you, Bertram, I thought we called no biological warfare!" Maddie said as, they all made agreement on no biological warfare.

"You swore on the seesaw!" Frank Jr shouted at Bertram for breaking their agreement

"Hahahaha!" Bertram said as he laughs triumph over his foes and taking control of the playground.

As Emily, John and Tyler came by toward the kids, as it was time to go home.

"Okay Stewie, Junior, it's time to head back-." Emily said as she would come up to Stewie and finds that he has the Chickenpox.

"Oh my gosh, did you 3 get the chicken pox?" Emily said in shocked

"What does it look like? OF COURSE WE DO!" Stewie said as he and the crew were itchy.

"So itchy..." Frank Jr said as he scratches himself.

"Come on we are taking you guys home." John said as he takes Frank Jr in his arms.

While Tyler take the twins in his arms, Emily take Stewie and they rush home.

We now join the kids in the Mallque/Griffin house in the kitchen for Frank Jr and Stewie oatmeal baths.

Emily, did you tell Meg about Frank Jr condition? Lois asked her daughter if she informed Frank Jr's mother Meg about his chicken pox.

"Yes Mom, I already told her mother about this." Emily said as she reply's Yes to her mother's question.

Emily turn on the sink water to fill the sink with enough water for the baby's bath. Then she but both Stewie and Frank Jr into the sink.

"Here you go, sweeties. A couple more oatmeal baths and you'll both be all better." Lois said as she pour the oatmeal in the fill sink for the babies to bath in.

"No need to clean up when we're done. You'll probably just slice a couple of bananas in here and chow down, huh, porky?" Stewie said until Frank Jr slaps him.

"Stop making fun of grandma and think about payback plan against Bertram cause I will not stand for this assault." Frank Jr said in anger as he wash himself of his chicken pox.

"So what happened with that kid on the playground?" John asked them about that kid.

"He won this round, Guys, but we're going back tomorrow." Frank Jr said as he tells John and Tyler that the fight they are having isn't over yet.

With Stewie nodding to Frank Jr rant and he too has a plan.

"And when I've carried out our plan, he won't know what hit him. Like that baseball team that Peter coached." Stewie said as sets up a cutaway about a baseball team that Peter coached.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter coaching a boy's baseball team with a hobo next to him.

"Well, kids, just when I thought we'd never find and assistant coach, I ran into this drifter hanging out near the elementary school playground. He's got a clown costume in his trunk, so we know he's good with kids, and pictures of boys in their underwear, so he's probably had some medical training. Well, I'm going to take off while he fits you for cups in that windowless supply shed. See ya!" peter explain what the hobo does for the team.

As Peter leaves the team with the hobo.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join Peter in bed alone in his bedroom as he is watching TV.

"We now return to Morgan Freeman starring in The Narrator." TV Announcer said as he announce the mover staring Morgan Freeman.

"Ever since I was a little boy, people have enjoyed the sound of my voice. And I figured you either get busy talkin or you get busy dyin'. The work is really quite easy. Why even right now I'm just sitting in a chair, sipping some tea and reading from a script. The wall is covered in something that resembles egg crates except they're soft and spongy, like a Twinkie...like a Twinkie." Morgan Freeman said as he narrates his daily life in a television film titled The Narrator.

Now back to the Bedroom as Lois come in still fat as hell.

"Oh, hey Hogzilla. You seen my hot wife Lois anywhere?" Peter asked sarcastically about her hot self's location than her current self.

"No, I haven't. Maybe she's out looking for a man who can satisfy her." Lois answer him sarcastically

"Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey." Peter laughs sarcastically

"Hey, do me a favor. When you're in bed, point your butt the other way. Last night, you farted, I swear to God, I thought someone was stickin' me with the cigarette lighter from the car. You're fat." Peter said, as he points out that Lois's farts are toxic.

"Shut up and go to sleep. Lois said as she went to peter side to turn off the light but she was stuck on top of peter.

As they try to ignore each other, they didn't realized that they accidentally have sex.

"Lois, you weigh a ton. Get off me." Peter asked her to get off him.

"I'm trying." Lois reply as she is trying to move away but she cannot.

"Try harder." Peter said as he asked her to try harder.

"Ow! Lois, that hurts!" Peter said as she is smashing him with her weight.

"Peter, if you'll just stop for one second..." Lois asked to wait a second.

As They both moaning cause of their accidental sex.

"Peter, are we having sex?" Lois asked him if they are having sex.

"Uh, let's check. Uh, just, lift up that fold right there." Peter said as Lois lift one of her fat folds which shows them their privates, Lois's panties are wet and peter's pants are cover in cum.

"Uh... yeah." Peter answers her as they did have sex.

Now its morning at the Mallque/Griffin house as we see Peter and lois in the kitchen while he gets a cake from the refrigerator.

"Lois, last night was amazing!" Peter said as he tell her that last night's sex was amazing.

"It was, wasn't it?" Lois said in response on what just happen last night.

"Fat sex is the hottest sex we've ever had. There were so many boobs, I didn't know whose boobs I was grabbing, your boobs or my boobs." Peter said as his interest is renewed, claiming it to be the hottest sex they have had yet and things heat back up.

"I know, it was amazing. Much better than that night you pretended your penis was Danny Aiello." Lois said as she set up a cutaway about peter pretending that his penis was Danny Aiello.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter and Lois in bed as Peter looked under the blanket.

"Oh. That is so interesting, Danny Aiello. You've got the best Spike Lee stories. What's that? You want to meet my wife?" Peter asked.

"Peter, stop it" Lois said.

"Lois, just say hello. You're embarrassing me in front of Danny Aiello" Peter warned.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the kitchen with peter and Lois.

"Now come here, my fat concubine." Peter said as he shoves a piece of cake in Lois's mouth.

"Peter, I'm not even hungry." Lois said as she almost chokes on her cake.

"I want you bigger. I want you fatter. It will please me." Peter said, as he want Lois to be fatter to please him in sex.

Now we join Bertram in his battle tent, as Stewie's "supposed" girlfriend becomes Bertram's servant, and all the kids are subject to him.

"With Stewart and Frank Jr out of the picture, this whole playground is under my control." Bertram said as he feels that he has won.

We now see kids guarding the sandbox, until they were attack by Frank Jr. As Stewie and the kids infiltrates Bertram's camp in the center of the Playground, Maddie attack kids who was guarding the swings by swing above him. Then we see Rosie hiding in flower with a flower disguise join the group after they defeating many of Bertram's playground guards.

"I sense something. A presence I've not felt since... "Bertram said as he spots a shuriken flying toward him but it lands on his couch seat.

"Ah!" Bertram grunt in panic from the shuriken attack.

However, he freaks out when he spots Frank Jr, Stewie plus the twins have return and they are piss off. In addition, they have swords/Keyblade in hand for their battle.

"Stewie, you're alive!" Bertram said in shocked

"Yes, Bertram, I'm alive, and I think you'll find all your guards quite incapacitated." Stewie said as he explain that he and his crew incapacitated his guards.

As Bertram walk toward them with his sword in hand.

"You people have an annoying habit of turning up where you guys are not welcome." Bertram said as he is piss off at them from being and they are not welcome here at all.

"Well, when we're done with you, you're going to hate us more than the other vowels hate "Y." Frank Jr said as he set up a cutaway about the other vowels hate "Y."

 **Cutaway**

We see all the vowels in a meeting.

"If you'll turn to page 34 of your blue books, you'll see our projections for next quarter" the letter A said.

"Okay. Okay. All right. You know what? I'm in a meeting. I'll call you back" the letter Y rudely enters the meeting.

"Well, well, well, look who decided to show up" the letter E said.

"So, what are we talking about here?" the letter Y wondered.

"Well, before you…" the letter U gets interrupted as Y's cell phone rang.

"I'm sorry... F! What's up? No, no, I can talk" the letter Y said.

 **Cutaway Ends**

"En garde!" Stewie shouted as his clash sword with Bertram's.

As they engages Bertram in a swordfight and they fought outside the tent.

Then we see Frank Jr fight Bertram on top of the jungle gym, they clash swords until Bertram fall inside the jungle gym. Bertram tries to stab Frank Jr threw the gym hole but Frank Jr throw his sward at him but he dodges it. Then Frank Jr jump down and kicks Bertram in the face thus pushing him out of the jungle gym.

Now we see Maddie having a go with Bertram with sword on the seesaw. Then we see Maddie on the Merry go Round with Bertram swing their sword at each other until they got off.

Then we see Rosie clash sword with Bertram as the walk toward the stairs of the play center. Then we see them clashing swords while slide on the big slide of the play center. Rosie and Bertram fight again on the stairs until the slide on the big slide and laughs on it for having fun.

Then we see Stewie and bertram riding on giant ladybugs while clashing swords.

Then we see them clash their sword until they fought in-between a tire swing, Bertram sword is stuck on the swing. This cause Stewie to spin the swing and the sword smack Bertram in the head so many time. Until Stewie finally prevails, disarming Bertram.

"Any last words?" Stewie asked him his final words while point his sword at Bertram's neck.

"You wouldn't kill me... Would you?" Bertram asked him to spear him.

As Stewie spears him for only Frank Jr to come toward Bertram with a vial of purple stuff.

"Oh he not going to hurt you but Frank Jr, well he has other plans for what you did to him and us babies." Maddie said with an evil grin.

Later in the night, Stewie and Christopher Moltisanti suspiciously dig a hole.

"Thanks for helping me dig this hole, Mr. Moltisanti." Stewie said his thanks to Mr. Moltisanti.

"Hey, no problem, can be a pain in the ass when you got to do it all by yourself." Mr. Moltisanti said as he explains that digging a hole can be a pain in the ass when you have to do it all by yourself.

"Yeah, you're telling me. All right, go ahead and drop it in." Stewie said to drop what it is on the hole.

While thing is later revealed to be for planting a young tree.

"Oh, boy, that is going to be beautiful when it reaches adulthood." Stewie said about the tree growing up to be beautiful.

"Yeah, I love plants. So what happened with that kid you were telling me about?" Mr. Moltisanti said as he asked him about what happen to Bertram.

"Oh, he admitted defeat, Frank jr gave him chicken pox for what he did on our gang and ran off." Stewie said as he reveals that Bertram admitted defeat and ran off.

"What a mook." Mr. Moltisanti said about Bertram being a mook.

Now we join Peter and Lois in the bedroom.

"Oh, Peter, I love you so much." Lois said as she got what she had wanted.

"Oh, Lois, I have no idea if we're doing it of if that's just the back of your knee, but either way it feels so good." Peter said, as he loves this fat sex so much.

"Ow. Peter, you're on my arm. It hurts. My chest hurts, too. Oh, my God, Peter... I think I'm having a heart attack." Lois said as her unhealthy eating habits get the best of her. She suffers a heart attack.

"Me, too, sweetie, me, too." Peter said, as he is really Horney today.

"No, Peter, I'm really having a heart attack." Lois scream at him that she really is having a heart attack.

"Oh, my God, you're serious? We should get you to the hospital. All right, hold-hold on a sec... All right, almost done, almost done..." Peter said as he is trying to get release from Lois's fat one more time.

"Peter!" Lois scream at him to get ready and to stop having sex with her while she is having a heart attack.

"Almost done, almost done, almost done. Okay, let's go." Peter said as he finally released and he is ready to go.

Now we join the family at the hospital, in Lois's room as the doctor explain what happened.

"Well, it was a tough job removing all that fat to get to your heart, Mrs Griffin, but you came through it beautifully." Dr. Hartman said as he explains that during the surgery, he was able to remove the fat to get to her heart and return her to normal.

"Honey, I'm sorry I tried to make you into something you're not. I love you no matter what size you are. Although, I gotta admit, I'm gonna miss eating cereal out of the dimples on your ass." Peter said as his apologies to her for turning her into something that she is not.

"Well, Mrs. Griffin, you rest up for a few days and you'll be just fine." Dr. Hartman said to Lois that she rest up for a few days and she'll be just fine.

"Thank you, Doctor. I realize now that eating is not the way to solve my problems. You hear that, Meg and Persephone? Lois says that you shouldn't eat to feel better about yourself, of course saying that to Meg and Persephone instead of her actually obese son Chris.

"For your information, Mom. I don't eat to solve my problems. I have sex with my hot boyfriend who living in our basement. Is that better?" Persephone said to her mother what she does with her life.

While John give Lois the thumbs up and puts his arm across Persephone's shoulder.

"Also mom! I too do not eat to solve my problems. I have sex with my hot husband. My life is better because of him!" Meg said to her mother face and she gives her the hand.

As Frank give her a kiss and puts Frank Jr in Meg's arms for comfort.

"Guys, mom is still delirious from what just happened to her!" Emily explain to her sister that Lois is still on the drugs from her operation.

"Chris, we all love your hat." Lois said as she compliments his hat.

"Thanks, Mom." Chris said his thank to his mom for compliment for his hat.

As Tyler went to the doctor with a question.

"Hey, Doc, what did you do with Mrs. Griffin's fat?" Tyler asked the doctor on where he put that fat.

"Oh, it's right here in this storage closet." Dr. Hartman said as he open the closet and we see Peter is found making out with the massive bag of Lois's removed fat, he tries to come up with an excuse but couldn't it.

"It's exactly what it looks like." Peter said as he just admitting.

As the audience laughs and we spot someone behind the door.

It's Hagoromo Uzumaki, Frank Jr's older half brother.

Hmmm! Hagoromo said as he having a flashback of his birth.

 **Flashback**

 _Meanwhile, Griffin Peterson and the other exiles pass the time on the ship to the New World. Eventually, after many months at sea, Griffin Peterson and his shipmates finally reached the New World. Griffin Peterson and the other colonists worked day and night to build their new settlement. Until finally, after much hard work, the colony of Quahog was complete. It didn't take long before Quahog was a thriving New World settlement bustling with life. Time had helped Goruto forget about his life and his future. And soon he found himself a hearty new wife in the settlement._

As they got naked and then they crawled into their bed.

They started kissing each other on the lips and started to go even started getting in deep.

Goruto touches Meg's butt and she started to moan so high that Quagmire heard it!

"Oh my giggity!" Quagmire says in awe.

As Meg's love juice went into Goruto's mouth and explodes all over the bed!

As he started to slowly push his pelvis in and out of his lover who grunted in pain, the former Demon Emperor's above average penis stretched her vaginal walls with each thrust and the Rhode Island girl clenched her legs around the beautiful young man's waist and kept him in place.

As he continued to thrust into her as he picked up his paste, and her pain started to turn to pleasure.

"Do you… lllike this?" Goruto groaned as he moved his hips in rhythm with the teenager that moved to match his thrusts.

"Yes!" Meg exclaimed as she held her eyes closed in bliss and she fully enjoyed the love and physical pleasure that she was thankfully finally on the receiving end on.

'I love this! I finally know what it means to be loved!' The brown haired girl thought in joy.

"I LIKE IT! DON'T STOP!" She added as her nails scratched her lover's back.

Goruto felt his end approaching and quickly conducted that his revival in this new world made him a virgin again and he cursed the curse of being a virgin and not having much sexual endurance.

"How close are you?" He asked as he leaned forward and started to kiss and suck on his lover's neck.

"Clooose." Meg moaned as she ran her fingers through her lover's hair and tightened her legs grip on her lover.

"Give me a hickey." She ordered as she wanted proof of what transpired here on this day and to be honest, she really wanted a hickey just for the hell of it.

Goruto went to work on making his lover cum before him as his hands played with her b-cup breasts and his thumbs made sure to give extra attention to her perky nipples that ached for any and all attention offered.

"I can't hold it!" Goruto declared as he felt his end nearing and he went into overdrive to satisfy his lover, but even in his new life he is the same unathletic student.

"I'm going to cum!" Goruto screamed.

"Me too!" Meg replied as she felt her lover ejaculate and ropes of semen shot into her womb.

"YYEEESS!" She orgasmed as her lover came into her.

The two finish their climaxing as Goruto fell onto his back and the young woman instinctively moved her body to grab a hold of her lover.

The girl breathed heavily as she held the thin boy close to her.

"Boy, that was fantastic! You must have had a lot of practice." Goruto said

"No, not really. I've been saving myself for marriage." Meg said as she explain to him that she is saving herself for married.

We should probably open up some windows. Goruto said as he realized that he is screwed.

*3 More Months later*

"AHHHHHHH GET THESE GODDAMN BRATS OUTTA ME RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!" Meg screamed in the hospital while nearly breaking Goruto's hand.

"You're doing Great Meg keep pushing!" Goruto said as he was about to pass out.

"I'M GONNA KILL THAT BASTARD FOR DOING THIS!" she roared as Goruto was already on the floor with his hand still being clutched and broken until it puff away.

"YOU HEAR THAT MOTHERFUCKER!? WHEN WE GET HOME I'M GONNA FUCKING CUT OFF YOUR DICK AND BALLS AND THEN MAKE YOU EAT THEM WHILE I FORNICATE YOUR SKULL!" meg shouted in anger.

*Waiting room*

"Man Meg's really laying into you right now Huh Goruto?" Joe said as he noticed Goruto had gone pale. "Goruto?"

"Y-Yeah, me." he gulped tugging at his collar.

'I'm too old for this!' Goruto thought as Both Joe and Quagmire patted his back in comfort.

"It's alright Goruto, meg will calm down." Joe spoke.

"I Hope so." he muttered as Meg gave one final scream as two cries were heard. 'Oh thank god it's over.'

*2 Weeks Later*

Goruto was in the New Nursery of his house that he and his friends had setup after Griffin took a loan out on the bank so they could add in a new room to the house.

He looked into the crib set up for the babies and smiled while wagging a finger near them.

"Hey guys, sleep well?" He cooed as Meg walked in.

"We still need names for them." Goruto said to meg about their names.

"Well I had some in mind, but I wanted to hear your opinion on them first." Meg said to him abouty the name she picked.

"Ok what're they?" Goruto asked her on the names.

"I was thinking Drew and Ron." Meg said the name she pick.

"Hmmmm Nah, How about Hagoromo and Hamura?" Goruto said as he pick the name of his family ancestors.

"Those work too." she smiled walking over and patted his head.

It was Just Goruto's Luck that all two of his kids were black haired like their father, although Meg suspected that they'd grow into their red hair when they got older.

 **Flashback over**

As Hagoromo disappears from the door as the episode ends.

 **Chapter ends**

 **I hope everyone enjoyed! This is thanking for pen123 and Family Guy Fan writer 15, Thank you all for cutaways, scenes, favoring, having me on alerts and with that. So enjoy and see you next chapter.**


	24. Chapter 73: Deep Throats

**Chapter 73: Deep Throats**

 **Narrator** _  
_ _Fresh out the net box  
Stop, look, and watch  
Ready yet, get set  
It's Family Guy!_

We see paparazzi taking photos of the cast as they come out of the limo and they walk on the red carpet.

 **Chorus:** _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

First it show Frank waling out of the limo with a poster with the words "oh" and he poses for the camera.

Then its shows Meg comes in looking all sexy as she signs autographs while she winks at the fans.

Then it turn to Lois comes in hopping while grabbing rose as she gives a kiss toward the fans.

 **Chorus:** _Check it, check it, check it  
Now this is just an introduction  
Before I blow your mind  
The show is All of That and yes we do it all the time_

Then it shows Frank Jr poses as he pull his hat down his chest as he throws a rose to the Fans.

Then next person to show up on the carpet is Stewie. As he flips his hat back to his head while he give autographs to fans.

Then Brian comes in sliding on the red carpet as he waves at the fan as he walks in _._

 **Chorus:** _So sit your booty on the floor or in a chair  
Ground or in the air  
Just don't go nowhere_

Then Emily comes in give autographs as she smiles at the fans as she tells one of her fans to call her.

Then the scene shows Persephone puts a rose on her mouth with a sexy angry look on her face.

 **Chorus:** _Cause everything we do  
It's all of that!  
When entertaining you  
We all of that!_

Then Chris shimming down the carp as he gives the fan a shout out.

Then Peter slide towards the carpet as he flips his hat back on his head.

 **Chorus:** _My posse and my crew  
It's all of that!  
So sit still cause we're coming right back_

Then the scene shows John throws a rose at his fans.

As the scene, changes to Tyler puts on rose his mouth as he gives everyone thumbs up.

 **Chorus:** _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

Then scene change to the Family Guy MC Cast walks down the stairs as they take a group photo while looking gangsters of the 80. All this while music ends as the scene fades to black.

As we join Brian is watching TV with the boys on the couch.

"Tuesday on Scarecrow and Mrs. King!" Announcer said his announcement.

As we see Amanda king in an alley way.

"My God, what did those drug dealers do to you?" Amanda King asked her partner on what happened to him.

As the scene shows Scarecrow has been attacked by drug dealers, who have disassembled him just as the flying monkeys did in the film.

"They took my chest out, and they threw it over there! Then they tore my legs off, and they threw them over there!" Scarecrow explain and he uses the same reaction lines from the film.

As the scene change with Lois coming into the room with a basket of laundry.

"Brian, you're still watching TV? God, you've been sitting there since I left." Lois said

"I spent all morning watching a VH1 special on Gwen Stefani. I don't know what a "Hollaback Girl" is, all I know is I want her dead." Brian said

"Hey, can you hand me the remote?" Brian asked for the remote

"You know, you've been laying around the house a lot lately. Why don't you get a part-time job like Peter used to have?" Lois said

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter working at Burger King.

 **Peter**

 _Ding fries are done,_

 _Ding fries are done,_

 _Ding fries are done,_

 _Ding fries are done,_

 _I gotta run,_

 _I gotta run,_

 _I gotta run,_

 _I gotta run,_

 _I work at Burger King,_

 _Making flame-broiled whoppers,_

 _I wear paper hats,_

 _Would you like an apple pie with that,_

 _Would you like an apple pie with that,_

 _Ding fries are done,_

 _Ding fries are done,_

 _Ding fries are done,_

 _Ding fries are done,_

 _I gotta run,_

 _I gotta run,_

 _I gotta run,_

 _I gotta run,_

 _Don't touch the fries in hot fat,_

 _It really hurts bad_

 _And so do skin grafts,_

 _Would you like an apple pie with that,_

 _Would you like an apple pie with that,_

 _Wait for the bell,_

 _Can't hear the bell_

 _Where is the bell?_

 _Wait for the bell,_

 _Ding fries are done,_

 _DING FRIES ARE D-O-O-O-O-O-NE_

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the living room with the family as the twin come in with good news.

"Mom, guess what?! I just found out me and Persephone got that internship at Mayor West's office." Meg said as she explains that she and her twin gotten internship at Mayor West's office.

"Wow, congratulations, Girls." Lois said as she congratulate her daughters.

"Yeah, it was a really tough interview, but we totally nailed it." Persephone said as she sets up a cutaway about their interview with Mayor West.

 **Cutaway**

We see Meg and Persephone's interview with Mayor West.

"All right, Girls, we're going to start with a little word association. I'll say a word and you say whatever comes into your head" Mayor West suggested.

"Okay" Meg agreed.

"Mosquito" Mayor West said.

"Bite" Meg said.

"Bite" Mayor West said.

"Mosquito" Persephone said.

"Ah, yes. Good one. Uh, mosquito" Mayor West said.

"Bite" Meg said.

"Mosquito" Mayor West said.

"Bite" Persephone said.

"Bite" Mayor West said.

"Mosquito" Meg and Persephone said.

"Very good. You are a worthy opponent, indeed" Mayor West smiled.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to twin with the Mallque/Griffin family in the living room.

"Oh, honey, I'm so proud of you." Frank said as he and john hug their girlfriends.

As Lois goes to Brian with an "I told you so" look.

"You see, Brian, Meg has a job." Lois said as she jabs at Brian to get a job since her girls have one.

"Hey, Meg and Persephone, if you're both working for the mayor, you know what that means? Even you're both doing better than Brian." Peter said as he makes fun of Brian.

"Hahahahahaha!" Everyone laughs at that comment.

"Hey, everybody, Brian's the new Meg and Persephone." Lois said as she tells her family that Brian is the new Meg and Persephone.

"Hahahahahaha!" Everyone laughs at that comment as peter takes off Meg's hat plus Persephone's jacket and puts it on Brian.

"Brian's the new Meg and Persephone! Brian's the new Meg and Persephone!" Chris said as he cheers while make fun of Brian.

"Yeah, you're the new me." Meg and Persephone said as they join in on the fun until Peter interrupts.

"Shut up, Meg and Persephone." Peter said until Frank smack him on the head for that but that's not all.

"No you shut up Grandpa, this is my mom day not yours!" Frank Jr said as peter lowers his head in disgrace from what just happened.

"Come on guys... could you just knock it off already?" Emily asked frustrated as she gave Meg's hat back.

"Also don't speak to Meg and Persephone like that." Emily said back to Peter.

Also John and Tyler just shame peter for doing that.

Now we join the family eating in the kitchen.

"Let's go, kids. Time for school." Lois said as she tells her kids to get ready for school.

As both Frank Jr and Stewie came down stairs in bathrobes. While they both sigh for waking up early.

"Lois, I don't want to ruin your morning, but I flushed a diaper and it's a mess up there." Stewie said as he yawned while he explains what he did on the toilet.

"Stewie, that's not where you dispose." Emily said disgusted

"Yeah he mess that toilet up!" Frank Jr said in agreement.

That's when everyone hears a car coming into their parking spot of their house. They leave toward the yard to see Brian coming in with a taxicab

"Brian, what is this? You're driving a cab?" Lois asked him about driving a cab.

"Well, Lois, I realized you were right. I mean, it's time I went out and got a job, for God's sakes, I'm seven years old." Brian said as he explains that he need to get a job since he is older dog now.

"Seven? That's not bad." Frank said as he thinks that Brian's age not bad.

"You know, Todd was 15 when he died. The dog we had before you." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about the griffin's other dog, Todd.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter with the old dog Todd.

"Hey, Peter, did you call me?" Todd asked.

"Yeah, I thought we'd go to the park, Todd" Peter answered.

"Oh, you're not taking me to the vet, are you?" Todd wondered.

"No, no, just a nice day at the park" Peter said.

"I'm a little worried that you're going to have me put down. I know there's been some concern about my sphincter's low shutter speed" Todd explained.

"No, no, we're just going to the park, Todd" Peter commented.

"Oh, okay, well, I'll enjoy the ride, then" Todd agreed.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join Brian drive his cab with peter as a customer.

"Around the park one more time, Bitterman." Peter said as he treats Brian like his chauffeur.

"Peter, I'm not your chauffeur." Brian said as he tell peter that he is no a chauffeur.

"Not for long with that attitude, Bitterman." Peter said as he still call Brian the name Bitterman.

"Sigh!" Brian sign from drive peter since he is a customer.

"Brian is NOT a Bitterman, Don't you even know what Taxis are for?" Emily said.

"Ah, this is living, Bitterman. This set of wheels is even better than those talking cars on that commercial." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about the talking cars on gas station commercials.

 **Cutaway**

We see a blue car approaching a pink car while the scene is made in Claymation.

"Hey, how you doing there? Listen, uh... I couldn't help but notice you across the parking lot and, uh... you know, you're very attractive and, uh... You want to go behind the Applebee's and do it? Huh? You want to just go have some dirty, stupid, insane parking lot sex?" the blue car asked.

"Chuck, it's me, Morty" the pink car answered.

"Yeah, 'cause we could... What?!" Chuck groaned.

"Yeah, they had me painted" Morty explained.

"Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed" Chuck complained.

"Hey, how do you think I feel?" Morty rebutted.

"No, no, that, too, but…" Chuck complained.

"It's not all about you, you know." Morty explained.

"Morty... Oh, my God, what are you doing?" Chuck complained.

"Think I was like a birthday present... for the kid or something like that" Morty explained.

"Oh, my god. Look at you. You're, you're hot" Chuck complained.

"I know" Morty said.

"You know what I would've done to you back there? Why didn't you say something earlier? I said all that stuff. God!" Chuck complained.

"Let's not rule anything out." Morty explained.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the cab as peter spots Lois driving.

"Hey, look, there's Lois." Peter said as his point out Lois in the family sedan

"Yeah." Brian said as he reply.

"Hey, honk the horn." Peter asked Brian to honk the horn.

As Brian honks the horn and Lois notice them from the back.

"Ah, hi, Peter." Lois said as she wave at him threw her mirror.

"Hahahaha!" Peter laughs until he does something stupid.

"Ram her." Peter order him to ram her.

"What?" Brian said in shocked on what peter had asked.

"I said ram her!" Peter reply as a demand.

Then Brian ram Lois's cab with his cab and it scared her.

"What the hell?!" Lois said out loud.

"DAD! ARE YOU CRAZY!" Emily shouted.

"Now shoot her tires out." Peter order him to shoot her tires.

"What?" Brian said in shocked

"You got a gun?" Peter asked him if he has a gun.

"Well, yeah. Every cabbie carries a gun." Brian said as he explain that everyone who's a cabby has a gun.

"Give me the gun." Peter asked him for the gun.

Brian was about to give Peter the gun until just as Brian grabbed it, Emily stopped him.

"Brian, don't." Emily said as she tells brian to not give peter the gun.

"But Emily, I-" Brian said as he tries to argue but she didn't let him talk.

"And this isn't right... Taxi's shouldn't have guns. Why on earth would any taxi cab, carry a gun?" Emily stated interrupting Brian's Excuse.

There was a 7 second pause as Peter and Brian looked at her. "Just give me the gun already." Peter said blandly to Brian as he broke the silence.

As Brian give peter the gun, then he shoot the tires of the car.

This cause Lois to lose control of the car and she crash it.

As Lois get out of the car and walk over to peter and she is very piss off.

As Emily rushes toward her to check that her mother is okay.

"Mom! Are you alright?!" Emily asked worryingly.

"What the hell is wrong with you Peter?! You could've KILLED ME!" Lois asked outraged.

"Yeah, But I got you good Lois, just say it, I got you." Peter said while he's smiling as Emily looked at her dad sternly until Lois just laughed a little making Emily confused.

"Oh alright, you got me." Lois chuckled. Peter joined in the small laugh until they calmed down.

"But... But... But that didn't..." Emily said stuttering in confusion.

She couldn't find any words on what to say about all this and it doesn't excuse a thing.

Lois then sniffed.

"Oh man... Smells like you had a big fright." Lois said in disgust.

As Emily blush for shitting herself because of what happened.

"Hehehehe! I told you." Peter said as he knew he got her plus they both hug and laugh together.

As Bruce just came by and look shocked.

"Oh, no, what happened here?" Bruce asked them on what happened.

"Oh, we got into a little accident. It's all right." Peter explain to Bruce that they have their little accident.

"Oh, no. Well, I guess accidents happen when you least expect them. That how come they call them accidents. Oh, look, you got the community events corkboard wedged in your grill. There, that's better. Don't y'all forget to sign up for the Quahog community talent show?" Bruce said as he explains about the talent show.

This made the couple look in awe.

"Talent show? Oh, Peter, that could be fun. Do you think we have a chance at winning?" Lois asked peter if they have a chance of winning.

"Absolutely. I love being around the stage. Except for that time we went to see Phantom of the Opera." Peter said as he set up a cutaway about him seeing the phantom of the opera.

 **Cutaway**

The scene shifts to The Phantom of the Opera.

 **Phantom**

 _Music is the gift I give to you.._

"Come on! Let's see the gross half of your face! Come on! Let's see the gross half of your face so I can get out of here. That nose better be piggy" Peter complained.

"Hey shut up!" someone shouted at Peter.

"You shut up!" Peter snapped.

"Dad! Stop it. Leave it alone, let them perform." Emily snapped in a hushed tone.

"But I want to see what's under the mask already." Peter whined.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join peter in the living room tuning a guitar for the talent show.

" it is. Hehehehehe!" Peter said as he sings the notes while he tune his guitar.

"Hey Mr. Griffin, nice guitar!" John said with Tyler doing rock on face.

"Thank guys, I'm think in entering a talent show with Lois!" Peter explain to John and Tyler about the talent show and entering it with Lois.

"Wow, a talent show!" John said in awe about hearing about a talent show.

"Hey Mr. Griffin, can we enter the talent show?" Tyler asked him if he and john enter the talent show.

"Oh sure dudes, just find your talent first!" Peter said as he agree with them going to appeal for the talent show.

"Yeah!" John and Tyler said as they run up stairs to find their talent.

As Lois comes into the living room and she spots Peter's guitar.

"Oh, your old guitar. I haven't seen that thing in ages." Lois said as she recognized peter's old guitar for their old days.

"Well, Lois, I thought you and me could do a song for the talent show. It could be just like the old days when we used to play. You remember, Lois? Remember our band: Handful of Peter?" Peter said as he tells Lois that they will enter the talent show and he set up a cutaway about their band: Handful of Peter?

 **Cutaway**

We see a young Peter and Lois performing at a cafe.

"Hi there, I'm Peter. And this is Lois" Peter introduced themselves.

"We want to talk to you about a friend of ours. He's not here tonight" Lois said.

"Although, you know, he's kind of here, Lois" Peter corrected.

"You know you're right, he kind of is" Lois agreed.

"Yeah, because he's in our hearts. Uh, this is a song about that man and his world that was taken from him" Peter said as he begins a song.

 **Peter and Lois**

 _Noble lndian chief_

 _Bring us back your ways_

 _You Indians were so awesome in oh, so many ways_

 _They all loved each other_

 _Regardless of the tribe_

 _One Comanche needs a cup of sugar_

 _And the Blackfoot would oblige..._

 _Oblige..._

 _The only cause of death_

 _Was drifting off to sleep_

 _And they left this piece of wisdom_

 _That we hope you all will keep_

 _And they said..._

"They're gone now" Lois said.

"How could this have happened?" Peter wondered.

"How? How?" they said in unison.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we are back to the living room with Peter and Lois.

"Oh, I haven't thought about that in years. You know it would be fun to write new songs." Lois said as she asked peter if they can write any new songs.

"You know what else is fun? Watching Mr. Belvedere without people talking so loud." Stewie said as he is getting piss off by his parents talking while he watching TV.

"So I was thinking we could—." Lois said as she tries an idea until Stewie interrupts them by sings.

 **Stewie**

 _STREAKS ON THE CHINA,_

 _NEVER MATTERED BEFORE!_

 _WHO CARED!_

 _WHEN YOU DROPPED KICKED YOUR JACKET,_

 _AS YOU CAME THROUGH THE DOOR,_

 _NO ONE GLARED!_

This cause John and Tyler to return and they jump on Stewie for sing that crappy song.

Now we join Brian in his cab driving through town until his phone rings. Then he answers it and Lois was on the other line.

"Hello? Hey, Lois, what's up? Milk? Yeah, I'll pick some up at the end of my shift." Brian said as his spots Cleveland and he stop to pick him up.

"Oh, got to go. First fare of the night." Brian said as he nearly picks up Cleveland in his cab.

"I really should go get the milk." Brian said as he passes Cleveland who angrily throws a shoe at the cab.

"You son of a bitch!" Cleveland said as he get piss off by what Brian did to him.

Now we join Brian at the mini-mart as Carl talks to him as he came in.

"Hey, Brian, you see that magazine cover right there? See who's on it?" Carl asked Brian on who is on the magazine is.

"Yeah, that's Jessica Alba." Brian said his answer.

"Yeah, you want to know a secret, buddy?" Carl said to him about what his secret is.

"What?" Brian asked on what it is?

"I would do her." Carl said he would have sex with Jessica Alba.

"Really?" Brian said if he really have sex with her with a questionable look.

"Oh, yeah. I just wanted you to know a little bit about who I am." Carl said as he explains that he want him to know about himself.

"Thanks for the milk, Carl." Brian said as he pay for the milk and he left the mart.

As Brian notice a parking ticket on his cab and he is piss off by the price.

"What the hell? $400?! My God, this is a bigger rip-off than Peter's Sounds of the Rainforest CD." Brian said as he sets up a cutaway about Peter's Sounds of the Rainforest CD.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter, Lois, and Brian sleeping in bed. Peter plays the CD as it makes loud animal noises and had conversations.

"All right, let's get rid of all these trees. Once they're gone, this'll be a great place to raise cheap beef. Up yours, Sting! Yeah, yeah! Hey, what's that song he does that I hate? Uh, "Desert Rose" Yeah, yeah, that song sucks" the CD played.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join the Griffin twins at the mayor office clean up the files as mayor west leave his office.

"Meg and Persephone, I'm going to lunch now and I'm having pizza. So if you two see the Noid running around, tell him if he ruins my pizza's freshness, I'll snap his neck." Mayor West told his interns Meg Griffin and Persephone Griffin to watch out for him, because it was constantly trying to ruin his pizza's freshness.

As the mayor leave his office, that's when Brian enter and he is piss off.

"Hey, Girls, I need to see the mayor about this $400 parking ticket." Brian said as he argues to the Mayor that he's corrupt.

"Brian, you can't just barge in here." Meg said as she tell Brian that he should just barge in.

"You have to make an appointment." Persephone said in agreement with her twin and told Brian that he should have made an appointment.

"But this is flat-out extortion." Brian said as he think this is wrong.

"No, it's not. Adam can charge whatever he wants for a parking ticket." Meg said as she defend the mayor.

"You know, Meg, Persephone, that guy's been playing fast and loose with his position for years now, and I've had it. He's a corrupt bastard." Brian said as he think the mayor is a corrupt bastard for playing fast and loose with his position for years.

"That is not true." Persephone said as she argues back that the mayor is not that at all.

"Yes, it is. Somebody's got to stand up and prove to this town that he's a crook. And it looks like it has to be me." Brian said as he is determined to expose Mayor West's shady ways.

As Brian leave in a huff and that when mayor west comes back with a pizza box.

"What was all the commotion?" Mayor West asked the twin on what happened.

"Oh, nothing, it was just…." Persephone said as she was about to explain what happened until somebody busted in.

It was the Noid as it later appeared, it smash on the mayor pizza then he and Adam run around the office until his jump inside a file cabinet then he is spin on the office chair. Until West killed it in a graphic fight sequence of smack his head on the table then slamming his head on the wall until he snap his neck near the booze bar, he then took a bite of his pizza.

"Perhaps it was the Noid who should've avoided me." Mayor West remarked that it probably should have avoided him.

Now back at the Mallque/Griffin house as we see Frank Jr and Stewie playing blocks with Emily until Brian storms through the blocks that Stewie stack and it piss him off.

"You need to watch where you're going Brian." Emily said sternly.

"Oh, you know what, Brian? It took me two hours to spell "hat" with these things. I finally got the "T" right-side-up, and then you come in here you're a bastard." Stewie said as he express how hard he work on those blocks.

As they then noticed Brian was about to exit the house.

"Where are you going?" Frank Jr asked him on where he is going to.

"I'm going to expose Mayor West as the corrupt politician that he is." Brian explains that he is going to expose Mayor West as the corrupt politician that he is.

"Expose him?" Emily asked confused.

I'm on my way to meet a source who won't talk to me over the phone." Brian explains that He is on his way to meet a source who won't talk to him over the phone.

"Ooh, scandal in Quahog. Count Us in." Stewie said as he, Frank Jr and Emily join him on the fun.

"Are you sure? I mean doesn't it sound dangerous?" Emily asked with concern.

"Oh come on Emily, have you even met us?" Frank Jr said as he tells her about meeting them.

"You should've what we've been through." Stewie asked confidently

Now we join the gang at parking lot to meet Brian's source

"Are you sure this is the place?" Emily asked quietly feeling nervous.

"It's alright Emily. Let me take care of this. I know what to do." Brian Whispers back assumingly.

They walked on in the parking lot until they came to a shadowy figure that looked like a green frog with a strange triangular looking collar.

They meet the pseudonym Deep Throat.

"Thank you for coming, Deep Throat." Brian said hello to his contact.

"You'll understand that if I don't come out of the shadows, my identity would be safest if you never see my face." Kermit the Frog explain that he will not step out of the shadows to talk, is a reference to the film All the Presidents Men starring Robert Redford and Dustin Hoffman as Woodward and Bernstein, respectively, released in 1976.

"A-ummmm... O.K." Emily said in confused tone.

"Mayor West hasn't slept at home for three nights." Kermit the Frog explains Brian about the dirt on Mayor West.

"Kermit the Frog?" Frank Jr said as he discovers Kermit's identity.

"Huh! Somebody talked! No one is safe! I'm gettin' out of here! Yaay-aayy-Yay!" Kermit the Frog said as he flees in a panic with his characteristic "YAAAAAAAY!" from The Muppet Show.

The Gang stands there in silence for a few seconds with their eyes widened with confusion.

"DUDE!" Frank Jr said in excitement as he just met a famous person from TV.

"You could wear a trench coat and a fedora to hide in the shadows if you wanted to be anomonus." Emily called to Kermit as she broke the silence.

"What's his appeal?" Stewie asked his friend on what just happened?

Now we join Peter and Lois in the living room as Peter sings a song.

 **Peter**

 _They should make a tube that sends you right to work that would save a lot of gas But I guess there'd be a lot of tubes._

Well, that wasn't very good. We're never gonna win that talent show. Peter

"Hey, now, Peter, you gotta remember that when we used to write the old songs, we had a lot of "inspiration," huh? You know, I think Brian may have some inspiration in a cigar box under his bed." Lois said as she asking Peter to smoking pot to conjure ideas for songs with her.

Meanwhile John and Tyler were near the stair and they just heard what Lois has about using weed from Brian's cigar box under his bed for inspiration.

"What the hell, that's cheat!" John said to Tyler in an angry tone.

"Or maybe not healthy, since weed not good for the mind at all?" Tyler said since weed just give them memory lost.

They went back to listen what peter has to say about this as we are back at the living room.

"Eh, I don't know, Lois. I don't think this is gonna work." Peter said as he doesn't like this idea.

"Come on, we can't give up on our goals. What if Jesus had done that?" Lois said as she sets up a cutaway about Jesus giving up his goal.

 **Cutaway**

We see Jesus in his underwear as he sits on the couch watching TV as there's a lot of crying kids on the floor.

"Why is the ironing board still out?" he asked.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the living room as peter and Lois were high as balls.

"That's, that's my favorite picture of Brian, over there on that wall." Peter said as he is point out a picture of his favorite dog.

"He wants to have sex with me so bad. Heheheheh. He's not, he's not gonna get to since I'm think of someone else." Lois said as she laughs and falls off the couch while she think of Frank.

"Heheheheh!" Peter laughs at his wife as she on the floor and he at the bottom half of his guitar.

Now back to basement aka John and Tyler room as they explain what just happened to Frank.

"We don't know what to do Frank, they are using weed for music ideas. We need to help help griffins and win the talent show the right way!" John explain to Frank that they need help griffins and win the talent show the right way!

"Yeah but how?" Tyler said as he asked how they are going to do it!

"Just leave everything to me dude!" Frank exclaimed as he has a few ideas to win.

As John and Tyler went to spy on the griffins in the living room and they look at the griffins in disappointment, while Frank think of a plan to help John and Tyler win at the talent show.

Now we join Frank Jr, Emily, Brian and Stewie wait for Adam west to leave quahog town hall.

"All right. There he goes. Let's move." Brian said as they leave the car and sneak inside town hall.

Now we see the gang in the hallway walking toward Mayor West office.

"I say, what are we looking for?" Stewie asked Brian on what they are looking for?

"I dunno, some proof of Mayor West's corruption." Brian explain that they need to find some proof of Mayor West's corruption.

As Frank Jr, Emily, Brian and Stewie walk to Mayor West's office until they spot the Scooby Doo gang on their way as well.

"Whoa, whoa, what—what the hell are you guys doing here?" Stewie asked them on why they are here.

"I'm sorry. We happen to be here to solve a case." Fred said as he explain that they are here to solve a case.

"Uh, we were here first, Dude." Frank Jr said as he point out to Fred that they were here first

"Well, you know, this is a free country, dude, and we are here to go to work." Fred said as he tells them that the Scooby gang are here to go to work.

"Free country, but this our beat, and our show you know?" Frank Jr said as he tell the Scooby gang that this is their show.

"Yeah, but we are here to go to work. We been called, and that's why we're here." Fred said as he argues back.

"You know what? We tell you. How about you just turn around and walk away?" Emily said as she tell the Scooby gang to just walk away.

"No, I don't think so. Fred said as they won't leave.

"Hey, you know what…" Frank Jr said as he is tired of Fred's attitude

"We do not walk away." Fred said as he shouted at them that they are not leave their case.

"I'll get you started for what you just did, you dick!" Frank Jr said as he has had enough of Fred's behavior.

As Frank Jr and Stewie were both humming the famous "walking" music on Scooby Doo to get them to leave.

As the gang enter the office only to be spotted by the Griffin twins, Meg and Persephone Griffin.

"What are you doing here, Brian? Still trying to smear my boss?" Meg asked them on why are they here.

"No, no, no, I actually came to my senses, and realized I was out of line. Uh, I'm just here to apologize.' Brian said as he lied threw his teeth.

As Brian nudged Stewie so he would play along with the excuse.

"Oh. Your so pretty... Your very pretty." Stewie said nervously smiles as he thinks she's not pretty.

As the babies were now playing along.

"Well of course our sister is." Emily said even though she is honest about Meg's appearance.

"She is pretty alright." Frank Jr said as he look at Stewie very mad because he know that Stewie is lying.

"Oh, you guys are so sweet." Meg said as she picked up Stewie and then kissed him.

"Oh well, it's my pleasure." Stewie said while nervously smiling.

"Hey, can you hold on a second?" Meg asked

"We got to get this to Helen and her accounting." Persephone said as she explain that they need to give this folder to Helen and accounting.

"Okay, bye." Stewie said nervously as Meg and Persephone left.

Once Meg and Persephone was gone, Stewie threw up in disgust into a potted plant behind him.

"Oh come on Stewie, it was only a sisterly low kiss, it's not one of those husband and wife relationship kind of kiss." Emily said pointing out.

"Besides, it's what's on the inside that counts." Frank Jr call his uncle out on it.

As Brian looked around the Mayor's desk until he found what he was looking for.

"Aha. The Mayor's datebook, this will tell what we wanted to know." Brian said as he took out a black book from the drawer.

As He came back to Stewie and Emily who was cleaning Stewie's face with a white towel.

"Oh, God, I feel more delirious than my cousin, Stewie Cruise." Stewie said as he set up a cutaway about his identical cousin, Stewie Cruise.

 **Cutaway**

We see Stewie as Tom Cruise on a taping of The Oprah Winfrey Show.

"I'm in love with Katie Holmes! I'm in love with Katie Holmes! I'm not gay! Go see my new movie! I'm in love with Katie Holmes! I'm not gay!" Stewie jumps up and down on a sofa next to Oprah.

 **Cutaway Ends**

As Frank Jr, Emily, Stewie and Brian walked back to the Griffins' house. "All we need is one criminal entry in the datebook and that's the ticket to-" Brian said before he paused to see what the Gang witnesses on the couch.

They see Peter and Lois laying on the couch in their underwear.

"Hey Brian... What's uuuuuuuuup...?" Peter said in a high mellowed tone."

"Uh... hi... Lois. Peter." Brian said awkwardly

"Brian, did you know this couch was here? It's sooo comfortable." Lois asked mellow.

"Hey Lois. Look how short Stewie is. Heeeeh heheheheh hes so short?" Peter said

"Oh my god, he is short." Lois said, then she and Peter laughed together.

"Oh my gosh, are they high?" Emily asked feeling worried.

"And look at those sock. They're so long and stripey..." Lois said mellowed while referring to Emily's stockings.

"She might be a witch..." Peter said mellowed, then they laughed again.

"And what that pink thing?" Lois asked looking at Emily's dress.

"Looks so... what's the word? Wavelly? How wavy do you suppose it gets?" Lois asked as she calmly grabbed hold of Emily's skirt.

"Uh... Mom? You do know that's my dress right?" Emily asked awkwardly.

As Lois was too high to hear her. She then starts lifting Emily's skirt make waves but noticed what's under it.

"Woah..." Both Peter and Lois said softly in amazement.

As Frank came down stair to talk to Peter and Lois and only to spot them naked!

"Okay, WHAT THE HELL GUYS?" Frank Shouted as he walk toward his son and baby brother to block their eyes of their Parent's nude bodies.

"Hey, Hey Frank, he's knocking on the back door. Should I let him in? I'm a-scared!" Lois whispers to Frank about letting Peter near her butt hole.

This cause Frank and Brian totally bewildered about her statement.

"Well, uh, you two are busy being nude. So, uh... we'll just, uh, head out and, uh... let you be nude." Frank said as they all leave the room toward the front door.

"What is that...?" Peter softy Whispers.

"I don't know..." Lois softy whisper back.

"Room for one more? Di-di-di-di-di!" Quagmire said as he made a musical song play by sailors while wanting to join in the nude fun.

Now we join the gang at a Vacancy hotel with a Free Showtime anybody? Free ShowTime hello logo on it sign. The gang was in a hotel room

"Well, this is the last entry in the date book." Emily said as she pass the date book to Brian so he can say the context to everyone in the room.

"Super-secret meeting at motel. Inform no one." Brian said as he read the last repot in the journal.

"I think we got him now Guys." Frank Jr said as this report info will lead them to get Mayor west busted.

"You know, you really shouldn't lie on that bedspread. I saw this report on TV about how filthy hotel rooms are." Stewie said as he set up a cutaway about on TV report that shows how filthy hotel rooms are?

 **Cutaway**

"In a moment, we will use the special lights to see just how filthy this seemingly clean hotel room really is" Tom Tucker reports as he turns off the lights in a hotel room, in which farm animals were there.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Once Stewie made two holes, Brian and Emily looked though them.

"Well? What do you see?" Stewie asked.

All Brian and Emily could see was Mayor West on the bed looking at the TV.

"Ah Ha... Oh Gem, you are truly outrageous. Truly truly truly truly truly outrageous!" The mayor said.

"I see a grown man enjoying cartoons." Emily stated what they're seeing.

As Brian just sighed in defeat.

"Well, that's it then. The only thing guys guilty of is being a wackjob." Brian said as he gives up on finding anything on Adam west.

As Brian was saying it, Stewie looked in the hole.

"Wait, Wait, Wait, somebody's coming in." Stewie said as he saw the Mayor letting a slightly chubby girl with short brown hair wearing a purple dress and she is wearing a black leather jacket.

"Oh, it's just some Fat hocker." Stewie said relieved that it's just no big deal.

But it was a big deal when the 'hocker turned around to reveal what Stewie did not see coming.

"Oh my god, it Persephone!" Stewie exclaimed.

"What?" Brian asked surprised

"Persephone, our sister?" Emily asked

"And Adam West. Ewwwww!" Stewie exclaimed as he and Frank Jr sat on the bed and hear a sheep baaing.

"Oh. Oh. Sorry... sorry." Frank Jr said as his apologies to the animal.

As Emily then slapped Stewie at the back of his head.

"Ow. What was that for?" He exclaimed

"That for what you said about Persephone, she's not fat." Emily answered.

"Shouldn't we get those camouflaged farm animals dealer with?" Brian asked the group about the animals.

They all nodded and they took all the animal out of the room before them chasing after Adam west and Persephone.

Now we join the gang in the cab spying on Persephone and Adam west's date at the Qu'est-ce que pue Restaurant.

"God, this is incredible. The mayor is dating a teenage intern, and it's Persephone. What a story." Brian said as he put down his binoculars and he is excited by this news.

"I know, this could get him impeached and arrested for prostitution." Emily replied in agreement.

"And what a story, this is a perfect scandal to take him down." Brian said in amazed.

"True..." Emily said in agreement to that statement.

"But how can we get proof? We have to get some taped evidence." Frank Jr asked them on how they gonna get some taped evidence proof?

"Well, I got the disguises right here." Stewie said as he as a bag filled with disguises

Now we cut to them in a restaurant.

As Brian and Frank Jr were wearing a tuxedo, a monocle and a fake mustache.

While Emily was wearing a yellow polka dress, a tan vest, an orange curly hair wig under a pink bandanna wrapper around her head while it's tied under her jaw, and a pair of pointy sunglasses.

And Stewie was in a light blue dress and a blonde wig.

"I thought you were supposed to get the suit and the top hat." Brian said.

"Oh I like this one better." Stewie said as he is fine with his disguise.

"Anything to wear a dress." Frank Jr said in a sarcastic tone.

"At least mine can perfectly hide my undergarments." Emily whispered back her comment.

"Gosh, you're swell, Persephone. I really have a great time when I'm with you." Mayor West said as he is enjoying his date with Persephone/

"Oh, Mayor West, I feel exactly the same way." Persephone said in agreement.

"Oh please, please...call me Mayor Chapstick. Well, we should probably go." Mayor West said as he take Persephone so they can leave.

This cause the gang to freaky out.

"Here they come. Kiss me." Stewie said as he and Brian kisses while Emily and Frank Jr eating until Persephone and Mayor West leave the restaurant.

"Come on, we gotta follow them." Emily said as she and Frank Jr went after Persephone and Adam west.

But Stewie was still there on his seat with his kissing face.

"Stewie? Everything all right?" Brian said as he came back to see Stewie still here on his seat.

"Uh, yeah. Uh Hey, listen. Freakin' shot in the dark. You wanna do something sometime?" Stewie said as he asked Brian if they can hang out sometime.

"Gay!" Frank Jr shouted off screen.

Now back at the kitchen as we see peter and Lois in their underwear after smoke some weed.

Great practice, Lois. We are totally ready for that talent show. Peter said as he tell Lois that they did a good job and they are ready for the talent show.

"Oh, my God, Peter, I am so wasted. All I want to do is make cookies. Oh, my God, I have a great idea. Let's make cookies!" Lois said as she is wasted and wants to make cookies with peter.

"We don't have to, Lois. Look there's a magical land of desserts right behind you." Peter said as he explains that they were transported to a magical land of desserts right behind her.

They ran around while laughing their ass off until they lick the nearest Ice cream Sunday. But it turn out to be a pseudohallucination and they are licking chris as he was the Sunday all along.

"Ahahaha! Help! Stop!" Chris cried as he feel this is wrong.

As Meg and Persephone quietly walked into the house trying not to wake anyone up.

They were sneaking to bed when a light turned on making both Meg and Persephone gasped startled to see a stern Brian and Emily Griffin waiting.

"Oh, Brian, Emily, you two scared me." Persephone said relieved

"Another late night huh?" Brian said in a questionable tone.

As Emily signals Meg to go upstairs and she does anyway.

"Yeah, Mayor West keeps me and Meg pretty busy." Persephone said as she explain why she and Meg were late.

"Yeah, we noticed." Emily said as Brian pulled out a picture of Persephone and Adam West holding each other's hands as they're skipping around at the park.

As Persephone gasped in shock.

"Where did you get that?" Persephone asked as she tried to snatch the picture while Brian quickly moved it away.

"Persephone, What the hell have you gotten yourself into?" Brian asked sternly.

As the other spins to reveal Frank Jr and he is also piss off.

"You do realize he probably does this with every new intern." Frank Jr said as he tells her the truth.

"That's not true! Adam and I are in love!" Persephone exclaimed as he know that she and Adam are in love.

"What? Seriously?!" Emily asked not convinced

"Don't be ridiculous." Brian said in disbelief.

"Listen, we're warning you because we care about you." Frank Jr said as he warns her on what going to happen cause he car for his aunt.

"Besides I care about you because you're my sister." Emily added to that statement.

"We're going to the press with this story. And when it hits, it'll be bigger than Uncle Sam's nipples." Brian said as he sets up a cutaway about than Uncle Sam's nipples.

 **Cutaway**

We see Uncle Sam in a sauna with other guys. He has huge and ugly nipples

"Jeez! What the hell...?" man 1 complained.

"Uh, they're called n***, guys" Uncle Sam corrected.

"They're freakin' huge" man 2 complained as well.

"You know what? Maybe we can just all relax and enjoy the sauna" Uncle Sam snapped.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join Persephone and Mayor Adam west watching the 1987 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon, as its theme song is heard inside Mayor West's motel room.

 _Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles_

"I have to tell you something, Adam." Persephone said as she want to say something.

"You're an alien. I know." Mayor Adam west said something random about his date.

"No, no. My dog is gonna expose our relationship to the press." Persephone said as she tells Adam about Brian having pictures of her and the Mayor.

"Well, so what? You and I know that we haven't done anything wrong. I told you that I'd wait for you until you're 18 or 21. Or maybe 25, when you can legally rent a car." Mayor West said back that he will wait for her until she's 18 or 21. Or maybe 25, when she can legally rent a car

"They don't care. They're gonna make you look like a monster." Persephone said as she will not let mayor west get blamed by this.

"I see. Well, Persephone, I'm a public figure. I'm used to the tabloids' doodie. It's you I'm worried about. You're just a sweet young lady with her whole life ahead of her. This story could ruin your future, and I can't let that happen. I'll take the fall, no matter what." Mayor West said as he ends the relationship to protect her from getting her name dragged through the mud.

As he leave towards the door and said his final goodbye to Persephone.

"Good-bye, Persephone. I'll always value your friendship." Mayor West said as he close the door.

"I love you, Mayor Chapstick." Persephone said as she said her love to the mayor.

"I guess it's not worth it anyway..." Emily said as she feels bad

"You said it." Brian replied as he too feels bad.

As they went to the room and confront Persephone.

"Brian, Emily? What are you two doing here?" Persephone asking them on why they are here.

"Then go on." Emily said as she made a push towards Brian.

"I don't think I'll be needing it anymore." Brian said as he rips up the photo.

"We gotten so caught up in taking down Mayor West, that I just lost sight of right and wrong." Brian apologizes to Persephone for what happened.

As Brian looked back seeing Emily smiled at him and nodded with a 'You did the right thing' look.

Then Brian looked back at Persephone.

"Thank you, Brian." Persephone said as she accept the apology

Well, can I give you a lift home? My cab's right outside." Brian said as he offers to take Persephone home.

Until Frank Jr spots Cleveland and Menma smashes Brian's taxicab for revenge after being inadvertently denied rides. But they were spotted and they both morphs into a black panthers and flees.

Now we join ourselves at the brine theater for the talent show as Diane Simmons is hosting it.

Good evening. I'm Diane Simmons, and I'd like to welcome you to Quahog's Fifth Annual Talent Show. Let's have a round of applause for our first performer. Diane Simmons said

As Vern and Johnny perform together at the talent show.

 **Vern**

 _There's no moustache like my father's moustache That's the biggest moustache in town._

As the song ended but nobody was clapping and cheer.

Play me off, Johnny. Vern said as he signaled his partner to play him off.

As Johnny the pianist plays their signature piano tune is "Galloping Gertie" by Sam Fonteyn.

Next act was Seamus Levine as he does tand up comedy.

Ah, what else be funny tonight? Uh Star Jones got married. That was in the news. Uh, married a black fella, which is quite a surprise because I'd call her quite a catch, and black guys, by and large, they're not so helpful on a fishing vessel. Now, Portuguese, absolutely, absolutely. I even had a couple of Japanese guys who worked out great. Thank you very much. You guys have been terrific. Seamus Levine said his joke.

But everyone was shocked on what he just said.

And now our final performance of the night. Let's hear it for: Handful of Peter. Diane Simmons said as she introduce Handful of Peter.

As Lois and peter were wearing their hippie gear while them entering the stage.

 **Peter and Lois**

 _In God's eyes,_

 _everybody's hot,_

 _This world has beauty all through her,_

 _Picture the fattest chick you know,_

 _God would totally do her,_

 _He'd do her all the way,_

 _even call her the next day,_

 _to see how work was going._

Now back at home as Lois and Peter were on the couch.

"I can't believe we lost the talent show and the boys won it by them sing Soul Man from the blues brothers! What'd we do wrong?" Peter asked Lois on how they have lost the talent show.

As Frank and Chris came into the living room.

"Well, I think we can shed a little light on that." Frank said as he and Chris took a seat on the couch.

"You guys were so baked, you didn't sound anywhere near as good as you thought you were. I was in the audience." Chris explain what happened at the talent show as a cutaway.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter and Lois screeching super loud at the talent show, upsetting a lot of people.

Until they were kick off stage that when John and Tyler came in, they were dress as the blues brothers.

While the family of Meg, Persephone, Emily, Stewie, Brian, Maddie, Rosie and Frank Jr came on stage as the band.

We see Meg was on trumpet, Chris was on drums, Frank was on lead guitar, Emily was on bass guitar, Stewie on keyboards, Maddie was on trombone, Persephone was on saxophone and Rosie was second lead guitar.

 **John**

 _Comin' to ya on a dusty road_

 _Good lovin', I've got a truck load_

 _And when you get it, you got somethin'_

 _So don't worry, 'cause I'm comin'_

As we see John and Tyler dancing while Tyler does a flip.

 **John and Tyler**

 _I'm a soul man_

 _I'm a soul man_

 _I'm a soul man_

 _I'm a soul man_

As Tyler does some dancing with his feet which made the audience freaky out in excitement

 _ **John**_

 _Got what I got the hard way_

 _And I'll make better each and every day_

 _So honey now don't you fret_

 _'Cause you ain't seen nothin' yet_

Now we see the family play hard and the crowd cheer them on.

 **John and Tyler**

 _I'm a soul man_

 _I'm a soul man_

 _I'm a soul man_

 _I'm a soul man_

Now we see john spinning a made up rope to hog tide Tyler close and close until he near john.

 **John**

 _Now grab the rope and I'll pull you in_

 _Give you hope and be your only boyfriend_

Then we see both John and Tyler sing to the ladies about them being their boyfriends.

 **John and Tyler**

 _Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah_

Then we see swing side to side while john give Frank Jr something. Then he playing the harmonica as the duo dance to the beat

 **John and Tyler**

 _I'm a soul man_

 _I'm a soul man_

 _I'm a soul man_

 _I'm a soul man_

 _You're a soul man_

 _I'm a soul man_

As Tyler move back to do one last flip and does the splits.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we are back at the living room as John and Tyler bring their trophy toward their room which mad both Peter and Lois grieve in envy.

"And here we thought the weed was inspiring us." Lois said in a sad tone.

"Well, that's a popular misconception, Mom and Dad, but the fact is, the chief ingredient in marijuana is THC, a mild form of acid, prolonged usage of which can cause adverse effects to your sexual potency, short-term memory loss and can also severely damage your brain tissue central nervous system and basic motor skills. To put it simply, Mom and Dad, there's a reason that they call it dope." Chris gives them a lecture on the effects of smoking marijuana.

"Sighs, Trying to watch Mr. Belvedere". Stewie said as he sighs while telling his parents and brother that he is watching TV.

"Whatever, Like Chris was saying..." Frank said as he give Chris the chance to give their parents a lesson.

"So my advice to the two of you would be—." Chris said until he was interrupted by Stewie.

 **Stewie** :

 _ACCORDING TO OUR NEW ARRIVAL_

 _LIFE IS MORE THAN MERE SURVIVAL_

 _WE JUST MIGHT LIVE THE GOOD LIFE YET!_

 _DUN DUN NA NA-_

As Frank then angrily smashes a baseball bat onto the TV.

"THERE! NOW NO ONE'S WATCHING MR. BELVEDERE! NOW SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY!" Frank shouted as he scared everyone including Stewie but he was still sing.

 **Stewie**

 _"...NA NA NA DUN DA NA NA NA!_

"Okay, I'm done!" Stewie said as he left the room in fear.

"Where was chris? Okay, the point is that you and Lois can't find songs in pot cause pot make you flip out." Frank said as he tells them their lesson.

"Are you sure?" Lois asked them if this is true.

"Frank's right. To find music, you must look within yourself and the world from within yourself!" Chris said as he agree on the lesson.

As they leave the griffin couple to think about what they have done and to learn for next time.

 **Chapter ends**

 **I hope everyone enjoyed! This is thanking for pen123 and Family Guy Fan writer 15, Thank you all for cutaways, scenes, favoring, having me on alerts and with that. So enjoy and see you next chapter.**


	25. Chapter 74: Peterotica

**(Disclaimer: I do not own Family Guy or John and Tyler also the Veggie tales Bubble rap song. Only the characters, Frank and Frank Jr.)**

 **Chapter 74: Peterotica**

 **Narrator** _  
_ _Fresh out the net box  
Stop, look, and watch  
Ready yet, get set  
It's Family Guy!_

We see paparazzi taking photos of the cast as they come out of the limo and they walk on the red carpet.

 **Chorus:** _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

First it show Frank waling out of the limo with a poster with the words "oh" and he poses for the camera.

Then its shows Meg comes in looking all sexy as she signs autographs while she winks at the fans.

Then it turn to Lois comes in hopping while grabbing rose as she gives a kiss toward the fans.

 **Chorus:** _Check it, check it, check it  
Now this is just an introduction  
Before I blow your mind  
The show is All of That and yes we do it all the time_

Then it shows Frank Jr poses as he pull his hat down his chest as he throws a rose to the Fans.

Then next person to show up on the carpet is Stewie. As he flips his hat back to his head while he give autographs to fans.

Then Brian comes in sliding on the red carpet as he waves at the fan as he walks in _._

 **Chorus:** _So sit your booty on the floor or in a chair  
Ground or in the air  
Just don't go nowhere_

Then Emily comes in give autographs as she smiles at the fans as she tells one of her fans to call her.

Then the scene shows Persephone puts a rose on her mouth with a sexy angry look on her face.

 **Chorus:** _Cause everything we do  
It's all of that!  
When entertaining you  
We all of that!_

Then Chris shimming down the carp as he gives the fan a shout out.

Then Peter slide towards the carpet as he flips his hat back on his head.

 **Chorus:** _My posse and my crew  
It's all of that!  
So sit still cause we're coming right back_

Then the scene shows John throws a rose at his fans.

As the scene, changes to Tyler puts on rose his mouth as he gives everyone thumbs up.

 **Chorus:** _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

Then scene change to the Family Guy MC Cast walks down the stairs as they take a group photo while looking gangsters of the 80. All this while music ends as the scene fades to black.

Now we join the gang as they visit Pornoslavia, a pornographic merchandise store.

"Guys, this is the best dirty bookstore in town. Family-owned, great hours, and lots of parking in the rear. Get it? Giggity Giggity Giggity Gig-Gig-Gig-Gig!" Quagmire said as he tap dances inside the room.

"Wow, you usually expect these places to be dirty." Peter said as he notice that the store is clean than other store since it's a porn store.

"Nah, it's pretty clean. Carol Burnett works part-time as a janitor." Quagmire said as he point out a person who clean this place.

The scene change while we see Carol Creighton Burnett appears as a part-time janitor of a porn shop called Pornoslavia.

As Carol Burnett dressed as the cleaning woman is the animated opening and closing of the 'The Carol Burnett Show' which ran from 1967-1978.

"You know, when she tugged her ear at the end of that show, she was really saying good-night to her mom." Joe explain about her tugged her ear at the end of that show, she was really saying good-night to her mom.

"Hehe, I wonder what she tugged to say good night to her dad? Oh! Giggity Giggity Giggity Goo." Quagmire said as he tap dancing his way.

"Whatcha staring at, Zeke and Joe?" Cleveland asked Joe and his son on what they are staring at?

"These dolls all look really surprised for some reason. I wonder what they're all so surprised about." Zeke said as he notice the dolls surprised looks.

"What?! You never seen a handicapped man before?!" Joe shouted at the dolls for judging him.

"They're polyurethane sex toys, Joe." Menma said as he tells Joe the dolls are just dolls.

"They're not capable of judgment." Negi said as he tells Joe that the dolls can't judge them.

"And even if they were, who cares? They're whores." Rage said as he tells Joe that the dolls are just whores.

Now we join Peter, john, Tyler and Frank as they found an old-time penny show.

"Wow, an old-time penny show." Peter said as he watches a coin-operated movie booth.

As he put in a coin and watch what's on it then give john a turn.

"The Naughty Flapper Girl." Oh, hot! She's voting! John said as he and the gang are watching "The Naughty Flapper Girl," and she is voting.

Then Tyler take his turn and he is enjoy it.

"Yeah, you break all the rules, huh?" Tyler said as he likes this girl because she is a rebel.

Then Frank takes his turn on it.

"Yeah, that's right, vote for Taft, you dirty girl." Frank said as he know which depicts a women's suffrage for William Howard Taft.

Then we see Cleveland and quagmire exploring the store.

"Hey, Quagmire, what's through that door?" Cleveland asked about the door right next to them.

"Oh, that's the exit.'Course, in this place, every exit's also an entrance. Oh! Giggity Giggity Giggity Goo." Quagmire said as his tap-dance around the room until he starts to sing.

 **Quagmire**

 _Make 'em laugh._

 _Make 'em laugh._

 _Don't 'ya know, all the world loves to laugh._

Then we see Quagmire near the blow up dolls and he tries to find the hottest one in the bunch.

 **Quagmire**

 _I always try and find the hottest chick in the place_

Then we see Quagmire dancing with the blow up doll and spin around with it.

 **Quagmire**

 _I crack her on the noggin' with a lamp or a vase_

 _And then when she's unconscious I do stuff to her face_

Then we see Quagmire lowering the doll down until he rise it up with Groucho glass plus moustache and he puts an cigar in her mouth.

 **Quagmire**

 _Make 'em laugh_

 _Make 'em laugh_

 _Make 'em laugh_

As quagmire finish his song, the cigar explode from the blow up dolls mouth.

Now we join the Mallque/Griffin family eating dinner together as peter reading his book.

"Meg and Persephone, I need you to baby-sit Stewie and Frank Jr tomorrow afternoon." Lois asked the twins to baby-sit Stewie and Frank Jr tomorrow afternoon

"Mom! You know I go to the mall on Saturdays. I mean, I do have a life." Persephone said as she set up a cutaway about her plan on Saturday.

 **Cutaway**

We see Persephone at the mall as she spies on some teenage friends.

"Hey, what time is it? We're going to miss the movie" teenage boy 1 said.

"Yeah, let's go everyone" teenage girl 1 said as they all got up and left. Persephone then proceeds to eat the food being left at the table. However, someone stops her.

"Hey! Hey!" a mall worker pats his tray on the table to make Persephone leave.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the dinner room with Peter and Brian.

"Wow, Peter, that's a book, isn't it? That's the first time I've seen you reading something that didn't later turn out to just be a sandwich." Brian said as he notice peter rading a book.

"Eh, it's an erotic book. I bought it at that sex shop. I got to tell you, I've read 4 chapters of this, and it's not sexy at all." Peter said as he explain that he an erotic book at Pornoslavia which he reads but finds disappointing.

As Frank take the book and analyzed it.

"Much Ado About Humping." Well, sounds sexy." Frank said as he think that the book is sexy as it gets.

"What the hell are you two talking about?" Emily asked both Frank and peter about what they are talking about.

This cause Lois to voice her opinion.

"Peter, would you put that away! I don't like you reading smut at the table." Lois said as she doesn't like smut on the table.

"Yeah, if only this were smut, Lois. "He rubbed her shoulder sensually." What the hell is that? That's not sexy. You can't do somebody in the shoulder." Peter said as he explain that this book is not sexy at all and nobody can't get off by this.

"Why don't you and that book get the room?" Stewie said as he tells his parents off.

This cause Frank Jr and Tyler laughs by that joke.

"D- Did you hear what Stewie said, Brian? - He said, why don't you and that –." Frank Jr said as he tell Brian about the joke that Stewie just did.

"That book get a room, yeah." Brian said his reply as he already hear the joke.

"Okay, I just wanted to make sure you heard." Frank Jr said as his relief about Brian heard the joke.

Now we join peter and Frank at the drunken clam with a letter that Peter wrote for the Reek Publishing.

"Hey, guys, tell me if Pops letter sounds all right." Frank shout at the group to listen to peter reading his letter to Reek Publishing.

"Dear Reek Publishing," "I was highly disappointed by your erotic novel." "Here's what I would've wrote:" "It was past midnight when the blonde, smokin'- hot lab assistant" "who looked a little like Heather Locklear, only with bigger jugs," "was grabbed and thrown on to the lab table." "He ripped off her lab coat, and she grabbed his metallic extension." "Oh, did I mention he was a robot?" "Cause that's kind of important." "Yeah, a robot." "Awesome. Peter said as he writes a letter to the publisher, suggesting how he would have written the book differently.

This caused the group men to get all horney.

"Whoa! That is hot! I got to get a copy of that." Quagmire said as he want a copy of the letter.

"Yeah, you got some serious talent there, Peter." Joe said as he is empress by his work.

"Really?" Peter said in shocked.

"I'm no school administrator, but there's an extension program going on in my trousers." Cleveland said as he explain to peter that he has a boner right now but he said something from the letter.

Now we join peter in his room with Lois reading his letter to Reek Publishing.

"And then Captain Leroy Hot Dog' Zanzibar" "and Gina from my work got in the backseat of his really cool spaceship. " "Gina was finally wearing that tank top I got her and nothing else." "Zanzibar knew he couldn't control his space horniness any longer," "and then they totally did it." "And if I'd have been there, I would've been, like," "Ah, sweet." Eh? What do you think? Peter said as he asked her about what she thinks of this letter.

"You certainly do paint a picture, Peter. I felt like I was right there on planet Niptune." Lois said as she likes the letter story a lot.

"You're not the only one. Everyone down at the bar wanted a copy." Peter said as he explains that everyone he knew like it and want a copy.

"Wow! Maybe you should think about publishing it. Hey, if you ask daddy, he might even give you some money to do it yourself." Lois said as she suggest that peter write his own erotic book.

"That's a great idea, Lois! I'll talk to him tomorrow. If this works out, I could make more money than when I had that rat farm in the basement." Peter said as he starts a cutaway about him having a rat farm in the basement.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter with his rat farm.

"Armando, do you have the rent?" he asked.

"We're trying, Señor Griffin, but the land, she gives us nothing! There is no sunlight!" Armando complained.

"It's been 2 months Armando. You're putting me in a real awkward position here" Peter checks his timewatch.

"Oh please Señor Griffin! Just one more week! I will pay you double!" Armando pleaded.

"Perhaps we can work out another arrangement" Peter suggested.

"Oh please Señor, not my beloved!" Armando shouted.

"Armando! Armando! It is for the children" his wife explained as she started to cry while undressing, revealing her white bra. "Dios Mios!"

"Yeah! Yeah!" Peter cheered.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the living room as Frank Jr and Maddie are commentators to Stewie doing Gymnastics.

"He takes the beam. The spectators hold their breath as Stewie Griffin is America's last hope... to take home the gold." Frank Jr imitates commentators as he tell them what Stewie is doing.

As Stewie jumps and he does the split on his toes.

"Oh, oh, did you see that, Mitch?" Maddie imitates commentators as she asked Frank if he is seeing this.

"I sure did, Cathy that was impressive. Here comes the dismount." Frank Jr imitates commentators

Hey, Stewie, I just took a nap. You want an eye booger? Chris said as he put his bugger near Stewie face and he freaks out.

As Stewie loses his balance and fall on the floor.

"Aaaa...agh! Aw, damn you, Chris! Look what you've done! I'm training for the Olympics, and I need absolute concentration!" Stewie said as he is piss off by Chris's interruption.

As Stewie throws a book at Chris' forehead, knocking out

"Man, Look at him. Look how fat he is." Maddie said as she notice how Chris is so fat.

This cause Stewie to have an idea, He practices pole vaulting with the unconscious Chris as a cushion.

"Oh, my God, that was even cooler than playing with the speech function on my Macintosh." Stewie said as he sets up a cutaway about himself playing with the speech function on my Macintosh.

 **Cutaway**

We see Stewie playing on his computer.

"So computer, what are you thinking about right now?" he asked as he pressed a button.

"Stewie is cool" the computer said.

"Yay!" Stewie cheered.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join Peter at Pewterschmidt mansion as he rings the door bell and Cart answers it.

"What do you want, homo?" Cart Pewterschmidt asked peter on what he wants?

"Listen, uh, Mr. Pewterschmidt, you're a businessman, I'm a businessman, and I've got a proposal that I guarantee you can't refuse. See, I wrote this erotica book, and I was hoping you could loan me $7 billion to publish it." Peter asked him for a loan to publish his erotica books.

But thing were not going to be easy for peter.

"How about I loan you five dollars? It's at the bottom of this jar of barbed wire and salt." Cart Pewterschmidt said as he pulls out a jar of barbed wire and salt plus it has the money that peter need for his books.

With nothing to lose, Peter put his hand into the jar of barbed wire and salt to get his money.

"Aaaahowwwowww, Why do you keep these things together?" Peter said as he groans in pain as he get the cash for his book and question on why he has these thing together in the jar.

Now we join Frank and Peter with a stack of his erotica books as they enter the drunken clam bar.

"All right, who wants to buy some Peterotica?" Frank asked everyone in the bar if they want to buy some Peterotica.

"Ten bucks a pop." Peter said the price of his books.

As a line started in front of peter so they can buy the books.

"I'll take one." Joe said as he pulls out ten dollars and buy one.

As quagmire was next in line to buy some Peterotica.

"Me, too!" Quagmire said as he pulls out ten dollars and buy one.

Then Cleveland was next in line to buy Peterotica.

"Hey, give me one of those." Cleveland said as he pulls out ten dollars and buy one.

The last one line was surprising Mort Goldman, who also want to buy Peterotica.

"I look forward to having a raging semi!" Mort said as he pulls out ten dollars and buy one.

As Peter and Frank look proud at the people in the room who are reading Peter's work.

"Wow, Peter, you're going into the publishing business?" Menma asked Peter if he is going into the publishing business.

"Yep. Mr. Pewterschmidt gave me five dollars for these Xeroxes, and I haven't looked back." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about a montage of Peter's p-orno titles.

 **Cutaway**

We see a montage of Peter's p-orno titles that includes "Angela's A-sses", "Shaved New World", "Harry Potter and the Half Black Chick", and "What I Would Do Sexually to Hillary Clinton".

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join Frank and Peter at Quahog Books, as it's the location of Peter Griffin's first book signing for his erotic novel in "Peterotica".

As we see Peter sign a male fans book.

"I'm such a huge fan of Peterotica." Male fan said as he explain that he is a big fan of his book series.

"There you go. Thanks for reading." Peter said as he passes the book back to his male fan and we move towards a female fan in a red shirt showing her boob window and she wearing blues jean shorts.

"Hi. Would you be offended if I told you your prose suggests a male-working class version of Emily Bronte?" The Girl Fan said as she compares him to Emily Bronte.

"No. Would you be offended if I said I'd like to use your ass as a bongo drum?" Peter said as he inquires about using her ass as a bongo drum.

"Yes." Girl Fan said as she becomes offended.

"Well, then we are on two different wavelengths. Peter Griffin. Thanks for reading." Peter said as he signs a Girl Fan's Breasts and moves on.

We now join a distracted driver listens to the audiobook.

"Welcome to Peterotica on tape. I'm Betty White reading "The Hot Chick Who Was Italian," "or Maybe Some Kind of Spanish," by Peter Griffin. Chapter One."Oh, God, you should've seen this one hot chick." "She was totally Italian." "Or maybe some kind of Spanish." Betty white said as she does an audiobook of one of Peter Griffin's erotic books, providing her own voice. She is depicted on the front cover of each copy.

"Oh, yeah! Getting hot in here. I'd better take my shirt off." The driver said as he trying to take his shirt off.

But the driver gets distracted and he crashes into house for trying to take his shirt off.

We now join The Kool-Aid Man as he is shown sitting in his living room when a car crashes through his wall by our distracted driver.

"Wow! You know, from the other side, that's kind of annoying." The Kool-Aid Man said as it causing him to realize how it felt to be the target.

Now we join the Pewterschmidts in their mansion as they celebrate Barbara's Birthday.

"Happy birthday, darling." Carter said as he gives her his present.

As Barbara opens it and it reveals to be a fur coat.

"Oh, honey, a fur coat! Thank you." Barbara said as she hug her new fur coat.

"Well, it's not real fur. It's actually made from bald eagle, and it's weather-treated with a mixture of whale skin oil and children's tears." Carter explain on how it's made and it's disturbing.

Until the doorbell rings and carter opens it to revel a man in dress suit.

"Yes? Mr. Pewterschmidt, I'm Scott Greenberg, attorney at law. My client was injured listening to this audio book. We're suing you for every penny you've got." Scott Greenberg said as he tell carter that he is being sued by scott's client.

"What? Why?" Carter asked in shocked on what Scott just said.

"You're liable as publisher. I'm here to cease your assets." Scott Greenberg explain that he is the publisher and he is here to cease Carter Assets.

As Carter take the audio book and he notice Peter name on it as the author.

"Griffin! Well, Mr. Greenberg I'd like to see you try to cease my assets after battling the Rancor." Carter said as he sends Greenberg to battle the Rancor in the same manner as Jabba the Hutt tried to eliminate Luke Skywalker in 'Return of the Jedi'.

But we see Greenberg dodge its strikes until he notice the gate button. He decide to move the Ranco under its gate until He then grab a skull and throws at the button. As we see Greenberg defeats the Ranco by smash it by its own gate.

As Greenberg climb out to face carter with an angry look.

"Didn't realize Greenberg was a Jedi name." Carter remarks that he didn't know 'Greenberg' was a Jedi name.

Now we join Peter, Frank and Brian in the living room watching TV.

"And now, back to blind justice. Blind justice he lost his sight…but not his vision." Announcer said as he announce the show.

As we see a blind cop in his chief office and his chief offering him a case.

"I need you to go down to 54th and main, talk to the suspect wife. While you're there. See if you can get a sample of his hair to match his DNA." Chief said as he tells the bind cop to go down to 54th and main, talk to the suspect wife. While he is there, he can get a sample of his hair to match his DNA.

"All right. I'm on it." Blind cop said as the protagonist runs out of the police station and hits a wall while investigating a case.

Then the end credit roll with executive producer Steven Bochco.

Now back to the living room as Peter hears a knocking on the door. He and frank go and answer it.

When they open the door they see Carter with a shotgun pointed at Peter's face.

"Hey, Mr. Pewterschmidt." Peter said hello to carter at the door way.

"Hello, Peter." Carter said his hello back.

"What's up?" Peter asked him what up?

"Good Oh, damn it. I mean, not much." Carter said as his recourse himself.

"What you got there?" Peter asked carter about the gun in his face.

"This? It's a gun." Carter said his response

"Oh yeah?" Peter said in a surprised tone.

"Yeah, I'm going to kill you." Carter said as he is going to kill him now until Lois came in and stop him.

"Daddy, what are you doing?" Lois said as she block Carter kill shot with her body!

"Your fat bastard husband ruined me! I lost my home, my money, and, perhaps just as serious, my wife left me!" Carter said

"Mom left you?" Lois said in shocked as Frank gasp on what just happened!

"Yeah. She ran off with Ted Turner. God only knows what they're doing." Carter said as he relieve that Barbara ran off with Ted Turner.

Now we join Barbara in the bathroom of ted turner house while he is taking a bath.

"Should we give Elmo a bath?" Barbara asked him if he want Elmo in the bath

"Yeah!" Ted Turner said as he want Elmo in the bath.

"Should we give Telly a bath?" Barbara asked him if he want Telly in the bath

"Yeah!" Ted Turner said as he agree with Telly entering the bath.

"Should we give Ernie a bath?" Barbara asked him if he want Ernie in the bath

"No! Ernie doesn't like the monster!" Ted Turner said as he push away Ernie like a baby.

Now back at the Mallque/Griffin house with Peter, Lois, Frank and Carter.

"Look, you can stay with us if you want, you filthy hobo." Peter said as he decides to let carter bunk with his family until he gets his wife back.

"Yeah, Gramps! You shouldn't be embarrassed about mooching off your kids at age 70." Frank said as he tell carer to suck up his pride and rest awhile in casa de Mallque/Griffin.

"Go to hell, fat heads! Have I use that one? No, I haven't. Yeah, fat head." Carter said as he tells them no with an insult to Peter and Frank.

"Daddy, don't talk to Peter and Frank like that." Lois said as she didn't like her father insulting her son-in-law and husband.

"All you've done their whole life is treat them like crap. Now he and Frank are offering to help you. The least you can do is be grateful." Emily said as she strikes back at carter to suck up his pride and accept their help.

With everyone looking at him with a sad look, Carter gave in.

"Mmm all right." Carter said as he lower his gun.

"That is settled. You stay with us." Peter said with a cheer as he welcome Carter in their home.

"I promise, you'll love it here. Even more than Julia Roberts loves herself." Frank said as he sets up a cutaway about Julia Roberts loves herself.

 **Cutaway**

We see Julia Roberts talking to the audience.

"Hi, I'm Julia Roberts. You know a lot of people died in the tsunami. But don't worry, I didn't, and I'll be here to entertain you and love my life for many, many years to come. ME! ME! ME!" she laughed evilly.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join the family in the kitchen eating breakfast until carter enter the room in his underwear!

"Daddy you're not dressed." Lois said in shocked as she notice her father is naked.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Couldn't figure that one out. You've still a guy for that." Carter tell her that he had a guy who dress him.

"Mom, I can't believe you came out of that belly." Chris asked Lois on how she came out of carter?

As Stewie and the boy face palm on what Chris said, Frank Jr responded.

"That's Grandma Barbara, Chris?" Frank Jr said as he correct him.

That until everyone smell something bad and it Carter who smell awful.

"What is that? Daddy, did you, um use the bathroom this morning?" Lois asked him if he use the bathroom.

"Yeah." Carter said his responses

"And did you remember to clean up after wets." Lois asked him if he clean up after wets.

"Um, no. I was hoping you'd-." Carter asked her if she could wipe his butt.

Which shocked everyone of what carter is asking Lois to wipe his butt.

"Oh, daddy! No, no! OK." Lois said as she responded no and overreacting.

Then Carter turn to Brian.

"Brian?" Carter asked him if he will do it.

"Oh, God, no. No, no, no, no." Brian said as he overacts himself on what carter has ask him.

"John, Tyler help a grandpa out?" Carter asked the boys to wipe his butt.

"Hell the fuck No!" John and Tyler shouted no.

No we join the babies as they raise their hands.

"I'll do it." Frank Jr and Stewie said as they volunteer to do it.

Now back Lois and Carter.

"Daddy, I never thought you'd be so lost without your money." Lois said as she never thought you'd be so lost without your money.

"You right, Lois. Who the hell am I kidding? I can't live like this. I should never have come here." Carter said as he leave the kitchen in sadness.

This caused Lois to feel guilty.

"Oh, I hate to see daddy like this. Maybe there's something you can do to help cheer him up". Lois asked peter to help her father.

"Don't worry, Lois, I know just what to do. I am going to teach your father how to be a regular guy." Peter said as he reassure her that he will help him be a regular guy.

"You think you can do that?" Lois asked him if peter can do that.

Then Frank interrupts her.

"Sure, Pops steered our family through bigger problems. Like when we were cartoon sketches on the Tracy Ullman Show." Frank said as he sets up a cutaway about his family being cartoon sketches on the Tracy Ullman Show.

 **Cutaway**

We see the Griffin family drawn via Tracey Ullman/Simpsons 1987 style, as they surround a funeral for someone named Puss.

"Well, that's the end of Puss. He was the best cat anyone ever had" Lois said.

"Hey Lois! What do you say we go downtown and buy a dog?" Peter suggested.

"Hey wait a minute! You already have a dog!" Brian snapped.

"So long Puss" Chris said.

"We'll miss you" Meg added.

"There's going to be quite a different place with him gone! That's for true!" Stewie said.

"Eyep!" Frank and Frank Jr said together.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join the babies in the living room as Stewie is still doing gymnastics.

"Alright, Kathy, it looks like Stewie Griffin is preparing to begin the floor routine. " Frank Jr imitates commentators as he explains what Stewie is preparing to begin the floor routine.

"That's right, Mitch, and as we watch Griffin doing this, I want to remind everyone that this is absolutely not gay." Maddie imitates commentators as she tell the audience that this event is not gay.

As Stewie performs an acrobatic sequence with a couple of flips until the music ends.

"Boy that was really gay." Brian said as he know what he saw was totally gay.

"No! No! Didn't you just hear the announcers? They said it's not gay. Ha-ha! Stewie one, you zero." Stewie said as he correct him that the announcers said it's not gay.

That's when Emily comes in with John and Tyler.

"And when do you suppose you be joining in for the Olympics? You do realize they couldn't let any babies into the games." Emily asked Stewie that babies can't enter the games.

"Really girl? I suppose you should join in the Special Olympics seeing that you are still in diapers at age 15." Stewie asked smirking as he makes a joke about her diapers again.

"Wooah!" Stewie cried out as he was making a burn on Emily.

But nobody else joined in.

"Aren't you guys joining?" He asked nervously as he noticed they're not joining in the burn.

"Come on... don't... you... get it?" Stewie asked nervously

"That wasn't funny." Frank Jr said as he leaves the room.

"Even if you were asking me to join, I would still decline." Emily said as she follows Frank Jr.

"Us too!" Maddie and Rosie said as they all leave the living room.

Now we join Peter and Carter sitting at a bus stop.

"What are we doing here?" Carter asked peter on why they are here at the bus stop.

"Listen, I know you're upset about losing your money, so I wanted to show you it's not so bad living like a regular guy." Peter said as he explain to carter he is going to show him that it's not so bad living like a regular guy.

As a bus arrive, both peter and Carter enter it. Carter then notice the people inside the bus.

"So, these people live here?" Carter asked peter if the people live here on the bus.

"No, this is a bus. People ride it to get places that they need to go." Peter explain that this is a bus and People ride it to get places that they need to go.

Then Carter notice that there was a Mexican next to him.

"You look familiar." Carter said to the Mexican next to him.

"I was your gardener for 12 years." The Gardener said as he explain to him that he was his gardener for 12 years.

"You look different without my lawn under you." Carter said to his former Gardener

"I don't take the lawn with me when I go." The Gardener said to his boss that he doesn't take the lawn with him.

"Well, I was right to trust you with it, then." Carter said as he was right for him to trust the gardener with his lawn.

Now we join peter and Carter in line to watch a movie called The Picnic.

"Now, this is called waiting in line at the movies." Peter said as he explains to him that people wait in line for the movies.

"It's what us regular people do." Carter said in response.

"Trust me, it makes it that much more special when we finally get inside and see Renee Zellweger doing her whole scrunch-face routine." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about them see Renee Zellweger doing her whole scrunch-face routine.

 **Cutaway**

Coming This March: Jude Law and Renee Zellweger in the Picnic

"Oh no! These ants are ruining our picnic" Jude Law said.

"You mean this picnic is ruining our ants" Renee Zellweger added as her face is shaped like an anteater as she eats the ants with her tongue as music played.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the living room with peter and Carter on the couch. As Frank Jr walk by and sit right next to them to see what they are doing.

"You know, Peter, what you showed me today was just awful." Carter said what happened today was just awful.

"What are you talking about?" Peter said in question.

"I really don't see what's so great about being a regular person. The bus smells like crap, the movie theater is sticky, and Renee Zellweger should only be the cute friend at best." Carter tells Peter what's wrong with his life.

"You know, I never thought about it till now, but maybe being a regular person does suck. My God, is this what my whole life is destined to be?" Peter said as he realizes his life sucks.

"Not unless you do something about it." Carter said as he tell Peter that they need to do something.

"Yeah, but what?" Frank Jr said as he enter the conversation.

That when peter need to get an idea.

"Carter, hand me my thinking grenades." Peter asked carter for his thinking grenades.

This also cause both Frank Jr and Carter get freaky out.

"Where'd you get these?" Carter asked him on how he got these grenades.

"Yeah grandpa, where you get these grenades?" Frank Jr asked him as well.

"Shh, Frank Jr and Carter, I'm thinking." Peter said as he tell carter to shut up.

Then Peter Throws a grenade out the window, it explodes shortly after

"Uh-huh..." Peter said as he thinks of something.

Then Peter throws another grenade, explosion

"Oh my God! He's dead!" Passerby said as peter's grenade kill someone.

Now back inside the living room.

"That might work..." Peter said as his idea grew.

Then Peter throws a third grenade, explosion.

"What's happening?!" Passerby said in question.

Then Peter gets up and he finally has an idea.

"I got it! Carter, somehow you and me are going to find a way to get rich." Peter said as he and Carter try to find ways to make money.

This cause Frank Jr and Carter jump off the couch.

"Now you're talking my language." Carter said in agreement.

"Booyakasha!" Frank Jr shouted in excitement.

"All right, then, let's do it." Peter said

Until the doorbell rings and Frank Jr answer it to reveal Betty White at the front door.

"Hi. I'm Betty White. I just got a subpoena regarding an erotic novel, and I'm looking for the son of a bitch responsible." Betty said as she later appears on the Mallque/Griffin doorstep and she upset with Peter.

Now we join Peter and Carter in the kitchen.

"All right, Peter, how are we going to do this? How are we going to get rich?" Carter asked him how they going to do this when they get rich?

Then he notice Frank was also here in the kitchen.

"And why is Frank here?" Carter asked Peter on why Frank is here?

"Well he is here to help, I say we start out small, Carter." Peter said as he explain what's going on and passed the plan to Frank to explain.

"Here's my plan. Pops distract Lois while you steal money from her purse." Frank said as he explains that peter will distract Lois while carter gets the money from her purse.

"Lois, look at me! Look at me! Look at me!" Peter said as he riding a unicycle while he laughing and babbling to distract Lois.

Meanwhile Carter sneaks behind the couch and He then grabs the purse plus take some money.

"Ka-kaw! I've got her wallet. Ka-kaw!' Carter said as he signal peter that he has the money.

But this cause Lois to react and she spots Carter behind the couch.

"Daddy, what are you doing?" Lois asked carter on what he is doing back there?

"Look at the unicycle!" Carter said as he runs away while cause Frank to face palm.

Now we are back to the kitchen with Frank, Peter and Carter. As Peter check how much money was in Lois purse.

"Well, she's gotten Ten dollars in here. And it cost me $900 for the six weeks of unicycle lessons." Peter said as his notice Lois has less money and he spend so much for his idea.

"So, we're a little in the red right now. But you've got to spend money to make money, champ. Moving on." Frank said

Now we join Peter and Carter at Frank and Meg room as Meg doing her homework with her son, Frank Jr.

"All right, now we play it cool." Peter said to Frank and Carter to play it cool.

"I think I can't do this in front of my kid and wife, Pops!" Frank said in a quiet tone.

"Hey, Meg, uh, we're trying to make some money and, um would you like to buy some pot from your granddaddy and me?" Peter said as he wants to sell Meg some pot.

This cause both Frank and Frank Jr to face palm.

"Um, Wow, sure." Meg said nervously and she said yes.

"Oh, fantastic." Peter said as in shocked but carter grab a lamp and he knock her out.

"Aaaaaahaaa!" Frank Jr scream as he went to her side.

"What the hell was that for?" Frank said in anger at carter for hitting his wife.

"Now we have to pot and the money." Carter said as he runs away with the weed.

This cause both Frank and Frank Jr get piss off at carter.

"Come back here Bitch, you knock out my wife!" Frank shouted as he chase Carter into the hallway.

Then we hear Carter scream in pain in the hallway, this cause Peter to run to Emily room to ask Emily and Persephone for help to get Meg better.

"You sure this is going to work, Peter?" Carter asked him if this plan will work.

"All I know is, there's a lot of money to be made in these stupid teen dramas they keep putting on TV. And we're going to get our share." Peter said as he put a video tape on his VHS.

As he made Quahog Creek, which is a television show idea that he comes up with to make himself and Carter Pewterschmidt rich.

Now we see Peter on a boat floated on a lake sing the theme song to Quahog Creek, a rip-off of Dawson's Creek.

 **Peter**

 _I don't want to wait_

 _For my lunch to get colder_

 _Da-da-da-da_

 _Why can't I eat it now?_

 _I don't want to wait_

 _For, hah hah, new Toyota_

 _I want the car_

 _That's got a lot of gas_

Now we see Peter in bed with Carter in a brown long hair wig as they were about to have sex conversation.

"Come on, Joey, I want to be with you." Peter said.

"Dawson, I'm just not ready to give up my virginity." Carter said.

"Come on." Peter said.

"No. I promised myself that I'd save it for the man that I marry." Carter said.

"Come on, that's stupid." Peter said.

"I'm, I'm just not comfortable, you know?" Carter said.

"I don't this is like the '90s, man. I mean, it's like, everybody's Come on, you saw me on that boat. I was wearing a blazer. Uh? Come on." Peter said.

"No! I just I I don't want to, all right? I don't want to right now. I told you, I'm not comfortable. I think you could respect that, you know." Carter said.

"I do res… I totally respect you. Makes me want you more, you know. Come on, man, let's just... Let's just go nuts." Peter said.

"No. I said I don't …." Carter said as he get out of the bed.

"Come on!" Peter said.

"No! No! Peter, stop! Just stop, all right? Turn off the camera." Carter said as he stop the whole show.

"God, I'm sorry, Mr. Pewterschmidt." Peter said as he tries to apologies for what in the show. But carter wasn't having that.

"I don't want to do this anymore, all right? You know what? You went too far." Carter said as he tell peter that he went too far.

"What?" Peter said in shocked.

"You went too far." Carter said as he tell him the truth.

"This is character. That's how I mean…He's that kind of…" Peter said as he explain Carter.

"No, forget it, forget it. You know what? It's just weird, man. It's just weird. You're weird. All right, just get off it. Let's just do something else to make money." Carter said as he leave the scene in a huff.

Then scene change to Brian as he holding the camera.

"And we will be back." Brian said as he tell the audience.

As The episode was being directed by Peter's dog Brian.

Now we see Frank Jr on the couch as his laugh.

"That show sucks bro!" Frank Jr said as both Carter and Peter fell down.

Btu it gives me and idea to do when you guys fail again! Frank Jr said as he leave the living room.

Now we join Brian, Frank Jr, Maddie, Rosie and Stewie as he does His training climaxes with an in-the-house vault

"Stand back, Brian. I'm preparing for my vault." Stewie said as he about to begin his training.

"You can't vault inside the living room, you're gonna get hurt." Brian said as he tells Stewie that he will get hurt if he does this stunt.

"I'll get hurt right onto a Wheaties box." Stewie said as he counter argue him.

"I don't see that happening." Brian said as he argue back.

"Who cares what you say? You're a dog. You can't see colors...which means you can't see colors of the American flag. Commie!" Stewie said as he call Brian a commie!

As Stewie runs, then he Jumps on trampoline, acrobats on table, flies, crashes in plate cabinet and falls to ground

"Ugh, I think I'm okay." Stewie said as he raise up from his training.

As Stewie Turns his head to the left a little, revealing a huge shard of glass stuck through his head.

"Holy donut holes, what the butt is that!" Frank Jr said in shocked of what is on Stewie's head.

"Aaaaaahaaa!" Maddie and Rosie shouted in fear on what they saw.

"Aargh! Argh! Uh-oh! Uh-oh! Uh-oh! Oh God! Somebody! Do I take it out or do I leave it in? Do I take it out or do I leave it in?" Stewie said as he asked them what happened and he notice a large shard of glass in his head.

"Aaaaaargh!" Stewie said as he feel pain of his head.

Now we join Peter and Carter in the kitchen as they were think about on what they need to get rich faster.

"Got it. We'll rob a train." Peter said as his idea was to robbing a train

"Love it." Carter said as he is in for this idea.

Now we see Peter and carter riding horses to the train station to rob a train.

"All aboard." The conductor said as carter and peter enter the train as well leave their horse behind.

"All right, everybody, this is a… Hey, where the hell is everybody?" Peter said as he about to rob everyone but nobody was here?

"Oh, we haven't had a paying customer in months. Nobody rides the train anymore." The conductor said as he tell peter and carter that nobody ride trains anymore.

"Oh, well, for God's sake." Peter said in complain tone.

"Are you robbers?" The conductor asked them if they are robbers.

"Yeah." Carter answer him.

"Well, you could take my wallet. My MasterCard's in there. Although, to be honest, I'll probably just cancel it before you can use it, so…." The conductor said in Blane tone.

"Give me that hole punch! Is this your hole punch or the train company's?" Peter said as he takes the hole puncher from the conductor's hand.

"Well, that's, you know, I got to pay for that. That comes out of my paycheck if you take it." The conductor said as he complain about losing his hole puncher.

"Oh, really? Well, I can't in all good conscience take that, then." Peter said as he give it back the hole puncher to the conductor.

"Oh, good…Thank you I guess." The conductor said as he thanks peter.

"Yeah. I'm a working man myself." Peter said as he tell him that he is a working man.

"No, it's tough out there. You can't, you know…" The conductor said as he know that it's hard out there.

"It's tough, it is." Peter said in agreement.

"All right, well, uh, can you stop this thing, so we can get off?" Peter asked the conductor if they can get off the train.

"Uh, no. I mean, I'd love to, but it stops at the pre-designated stops. I don't have control over that. The engineer does that." The conductor said as he explain he can't stop the train cause he not in charger of the train.

"Well, uh Well, how much are tickets?" Peter asked him for how much are tickets.

"Well, for this, this is a first-class cabin, it's 25 bucks." The conductor said as he need 25 dollars for tickets.

"And we're the robbers. OK, um, how much is coach?" Peter asked him for couch tickets.

"Uh, $12 for coach." The conductor said the price for those tickets.

"Well, he's a senior. You know what, that's fine. Just give me two coach tickets." Peter said as he caves in and buys two couch tickets.

"All right, thank you. Oh, wow, when did Mama Mia! Come to the Oakdale?" Peter asked the conductor about mama mia.

"Oh, yeah, what, uh, just a week ago, I think." The conductor said about the paly coming out a week ago.

"Oh, well, we should go…Do you want to go see Mama Mia!?" Peter asked carter if he want to see mama mia.

"Peter, can I speak to you over by the door?" Carter asked him if he can talk to him behind the door.

As a punch is heard and Peter falls down the hill

Now we see The Kool-Aid Man puts the finishing touches of the wall earlier.

"Good as new!" Kool-Aid Man said as he is proud of his work.

But Peter crashes through the wall and breaking it again.

"Oh, come on!" Kool-Aid Man shouted as he feel that he wasted his time on the wall.

Now we are back at the Mallque/Griffin house as peter and carter fail getting money again.

"I give up. We're going to be lower-middle class Americans forever. A fate worse than death. Seriously, we may as well just be dead." Peter said as he give up and he think that he is low class.

"You know what, Peter, that's not true. In the time we've spent together, I've learned something. When you're rich, you don't own your possessions, your possessions own you." Carter said as he tells him, in the time they have spent together, he learned something. When you're rich, you don't own your possessions, your possessions own you.

"He right pops, Money isn't everything!" Frank said as agree with Carter.

Until the door opens to reveal to be Barbara Pewterschmidt

"Oh, Carter, darling." Barbara said as she enter the room.

"Babs, sweetheart!" Carter said as he rushes towards her and he hug Babs.

"Honey, we're rich again." Barbara explain to Carter that they are rich again as the family looks in awe about her news.

"Gasp, but how Great Grandma Barbara?" Frank Jr asked as he rush in when he hear that his Great grandpa is rich again!

"I divorced Ted Turner and took half his money…We own half of CNN." Barbara telling Carter and Family that she divorced Turner. She also took half his assets as part of the spousal support agreement.

"He-hey!" Carter said as he moan about owning CNN.

"And TNT." Barbara said as they own TNT now.

"Neat." Carter said in agreement as he turn to his family.

"Well peter and my family, see ya bitches! Carter said as he leave the house.

Despite the fact that he helped Carter turn his life and views of normal people around, Peter gets nothing.

As Peter mopes, that's when Lois come in to pick him up.

"Peter, listen to me. Money doesn't matter. Ten years ago Daddy offered to give us $10 million, and I turned it down." Lois explain to Peter that she turned down $10 million from Carter a few years ago

"What?!" Frank and Peter said in shocked

"Yes. And I'll always turn it down, because money just complicates everything. We don't need money because we have each other. Happiness isn't about buying expensive things, it's about being together. It's not about taking expensive trips, it's about holding each other during a thunderstorm. And we have that kind of happiness, Peter. Real happiness, because we have each other." Lois tells Peter she will always turn it down, because money just complicates everything. We don't need money because we have each other.

While she was explain on why she did it, Peter vividly fantasizes about killing her.

It show peter throwing Lois on the couch and he grabs a pillow to smother her to death. She struggles until Lois finally lose breather and died.

Then it show peter making a pile of fire wood outside, he lights on and throw Lois's dead body into it until it burns.

Then it shows peter at the front door being asked by the cops and he tells them that he has no idea what happened. Until Frank show them a tape of peter killing Lois.

Then it shows Peter being sentence to kill by electronic chair. Then it show Frank now owns the house fulling with Frank still married to Meg.

Then he resurrect Lois and he made her his mistress.

As the dream bubble ends with peter looking confused on what he just thought but not Frank as he looks nervous.

"Yeah." Frank said as he moves away from peter and he run toward upstairs in fear.

Until Meg remember something.

"Wait Grandpa gave me mom share of the money as a gift!" Meg explain that she gain Lois's share of the money.

"What! How? Lois said in shocked on what her daughter just said.

"Well grandpa gave me this money since he didn't want his granddaughter to like her stupid mother. And to make a name for myself, So I gave that money to Frank for safe keeping!" Meg explain to her mother on why she has the money.

"Whoa! I totally forgot about that about till now that is!" Frank said.

As he turn to his son with a smile.

"All right, buddy, we did it, we're rich. Frank said as they jump and high five.

Now scene turn to Meg as look at the readers.

"And now it's time for Silly Songs with Frank Jr, the news part of the show where Frank Jr comes out and sings a silly song." Meg said as she change the scene.

In the living room, the Griffin and Mallque, as well as the whole gang is seated, waiting for what Frank Jr and the three buddies have in store

So Mikey's gonna be singing with Pinkie and Snips & Snails. This should be interestin'. Persephone said to Brian

Wake me when it's over. Brian said as he is about to take a nap.

Until DJ Menma begins the song.

As we see Frank Jr walking on stage with a box of dishes.

 **Frank Jr**

 _Another lonely day  
In a crowded town  
Makin' our way_

As we see Frank Jr walking inside the makeup room on stage as his crew is coming on stage.

 **Frank Jr and Tyler**  
 _The best we know how..._

"Ah, sing it man." Emily said to Frank Jr and Tyler

"Oh yeah!" John said in agreement

 **Frank Jr**  
 _But we're movin' up_

"Whoa, up, up, up!" John said as his notice they were in another place on the top floor.

 **Frank Jr**  
 _We're movin' in_

"Ha, ha! Comin at ya"! John said back to Frank Jr

 **Frank Jr**

 _Got our dishes packed_

As the stage has lots of boxes stack up like buildings.

"Yeah, they are stacked!" John said as he notice the box with the dishes are stack.

 **Frank Jr  
** _They've been wrapped to win_

"Protect our porcelain!" John said as he notice the stuff is protected.

 **Tyler**  
 _Ain't gonna break it!_

"Yo! Listen up." John said the audience to listen up.

 **Emily**  
 _No way_

 **Tyler**  
 _Even if I shake it!_

"Uh, huh!" Emily said in agreement.

"Yeah, man..." Tyler said to Emily in agreement.

 **Emily**  
 _All day_

 **Frank Jr, Emily, John & Tyler**  
 _Covered love love  
Sealed against troubles  
Sheltered in a glove of bubbles, bubbles, bubbles  
Safe inside the arms of my bubble, bubble, bubble wrap_

That when some came on stage and it was Stewie in a rap uniform.

"What's up, Mc12's! Let's rock that rap!" Stewie shouted at the peoples

"Aw, yeah!" Emily said in excitement

"Hi Stew-iel?!" Frank Jr, Emily, John & Tyler said hi to Stewie.

 **Stewie**  
 _Bubble wrap_

 _Bubble wrap_

 _Love to hear that bubble snap_

 _Soft like clouds_

 _Thunder clap_

 _Bubbly, bubble, bubble wrap_

 **Frank Jr, Emily, John & Tyler**  
 _Oh yeah...  
We're gonna snap, snap, snap, that wrap_

"Oh yeah!" John shouted in agreement.

 **Frank Jr, Emily, John & Tyler  
** _We're gonna snap, snap, snap, that wrap_

"What up, dog?" Emily said to the audience like a gangster.

 **Frank Jr, Emily, John & Tyler**

 _We're gonna snap, snap, snap, that wrap_

"Yeah, yeah!" Emily said in the beat.

"Uh, huh!" John said in agreement

 **Frank Jr, Emily, John & Tyler**  
 _We're gonna snap, snap, snap, that wrap_

 **Stewie**  
 _Bubble Bubble  
Ain't no trouble  
Squeeze that, squish that  
Break that bubble_

"Uh, huh!" Emily said in agreement.

 **Stewie  
** _Two at once  
Bubble double  
Squeeze that, squish that  
Smash that bubble_

 **Frank Jr, Emily, John & Tyler**  
 _We're gonna snap, snap, snap, that wrap_

"Oh yeah..." John said in agreement.

 **Frank Jr, Emily, John & Tyler  
** _We're gonna snap, snap, snap, that wrap_

"Oh yeah..." Emily said in agreement.

 **Frank Jr, Emily, John & Tyler  
** _We're gonna snap, snap, snap, that wrap_

 _We're gonna snap, snap, snap, that wrap_

"Yo, man!" Emily said in agreement.

 **Stewie  
** Roll me around in bubble wrap  
Sink me in a bubble trap

(repeats the lyrics while the group sings)

 **Frank Jr, Emily, John & Tyler**

 _Covered love love  
Sealed against troubles  
Sheltered in a glove of bubbles, bubbles, bubbles  
Safe inside the arms of my bubble, bubble, bubble wrap  
We're rapping and we're snapping our bubble, bubble, bubble wrap_

As Stewie spins back and accidentally sets a pile of porcelain dishes crashing onto the floor, then screen changes to black.

"Oh, snap!" Emily said off-screen

The crowd is silent for a moment before they abrupt into cheers, While Persephone and Brian are in surprise, Maddie and the other Babies are there as well and cheer for Stewie.

"Wow. I did not see that coming" Persephone said in shocked on what just happened.

"It was good." Brian said in agreement and he felt left out on the song.

 **Chapter End**

 **I hope everyone enjoyed! This is thanking for pen123 and Family Guy Fan writer 15, Thank you all for cutaways, scenes, favoring, having me on alerts and with that. So enjoy and see you next chapter.**


	26. Chapter 75: You May Now Kiss the Uh Guy

**Chapter 75: You May Now Kiss the Uh Guy Who Receives**

 **Narrator** _  
_ _Fresh out the net box  
Stop, look, and watch  
Ready yet, get set  
It's Family Guy!_

We see paparazzi taking photos of the cast as they come out of the limo and they walk on the red carpet.

 **Chorus:** _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

First it show Frank waling out of the limo with a poster with the words "oh" and he poses for the camera.

Then its shows Meg comes in looking all sexy as she signs autographs while she winks at the fans.

Then it turn to Lois comes in hopping while grabbing rose as she gives a kiss toward the fans.

 **Chorus:** _Check it, check it, check it  
Now this is just an introduction  
Before I blow your mind  
The show is All of That and yes we do it all the time_

Then it shows Frank Jr poses as he pull his hat down his chest as he throws a rose to the Fans.

Then next person to show up on the carpet is Stewie. As he flips his hat back to his head while he give autographs to fans.

Then Brian comes in sliding on the red carpet as he waves at the fan as he walks in _._

 **Chorus:** _So sit your booty on the floor or in a chair  
Ground or in the air  
Just don't go nowhere_

Then Emily comes in give autographs as she smiles at the fans as she tells one of her fans to call her.

Then the scene shows Persephone puts a rose on her mouth with a sexy angry look on her face.

 **Chorus:** _Cause everything we do  
It's all of that!  
When entertaining you  
We all of that!_

Then Chris shimming down the carp as he gives the fan a shout out.

Then Peter slide towards the carpet as he flips his hat back on his head.

 **Chorus:** _My posse and my crew  
It's all of that!  
So sit still cause we're coming right back_

Then the scene shows John throws a rose at his fans.

As the scene, changes to Tyler puts on rose his mouth as he gives everyone thumbs up.

 **Chorus:** _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

Then scene change to the Family Guy MC Cast walks down the stairs as they take a group photo while looking gangsters of the 80. All this while music ends as the scene fades to black.

Now we join the family at Quahog airport as we see the Mallque/Griffin Family walking inside.

"Oh, Brian, we're so thrilled your gay cousin Jasper finally decided to come visit." Lois said as she and the family are thrilled to hear that Jasper is coming to visit.

"Me, too. It's been way too long. Anyway, thanks for putting him up." Brian said as he is excited to see his cousin again and thanks Lois for putting jasper up.

"No problem, Brian. It's great to have visitors." Peter said no problem as he and the family don't mind having more family coming to visit.

"Except for that time Moby Dick stayed with us." Frank Jr said as he set up a cutaway about Moby Dick stayed with the family.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter with a white whale at the kitchen.

"Do you have any Raisin Bran?" Moby Dick asked.

"Oh uh no sorry" Peter apologized.

"Hmm, can you go get me some?" Moby Dick asked.

"Uh... boy, that's kind of a pain in the... Well, we do have... we got Total, and we got some raisins. I mean, you could, like, mix those together. It'd be... it'd be kinda like Raisin Bran" Peter explained.

"Yeah, but it's not. It'd be like Raisin Bran, but it's not Raisin Bran." Moby Dick asked.

"That'd be like Total with raisins in it." Moby Dick asked.

"It's not really doing it for me." Moby Dick asked.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join back with the family until Frank Jr and Stewie notice the control room door was open in the airport.

"Oh, no locks. Thank you, Homeland Security." Stewie said as he makes fun of Homeland Security.

As they enter inside, Frank Jr made a distraction with the guy inside the control room.

"Hey, bud, take a break. I'll take over. Go smoke a fatty." Frank Jr said to the Air traffic controller.

"Thanks." Air traffic controller said as he leaves the room to the babies.

"This is Sierra Tango 817, Matthew McConaughey's private jet, requesting permission to land." Air pilot asked permission to land the plane with Matthew McConaughey.

"Matthew McConaughey? Oh, sorry, Sierra Tango 817. All our runways are filled." Stewie misleads the pilot as he hates Matthew McConaughey.

This made the pilot confused?

"But it looks empty from up here. We're almost out of fuel." Air pilot said his response if he goes to any further the plane will fall since it running out of fuel.

"No, no. No room at all. But, lucky for you, there's a big new airport out in the middle of the ocean. Keep going. You can't miss it." Stewie said as he finally misleads the pilot toward the ocean.

"Roger that." Air pilot said as he ends the transmission.

But the instruction given by Stewie causing McConaughey's plane to crash into the ocean

"Oops! Well, look at it this way. we just got you on next year's Oscar telecast. You'll be right after Ron Howard!" Frank Jr said as he made a dark message to the air pilot.

"Just messing with you, Ron." Stewie said as he apologies to Ron Howard

"Or maybe not!" Frank Jr said as he is not kidding

"No, seriously, we are." Frank Jr said as he was kidding

"Or are we?!" Stewie said as he and frank Jr are not kidding.

"No." Frank Jr said as he finally ends the gag.

"Oh, there's Jasper's plane." Brian said

"Where?" Lois asked as she looks around the station of plane and guess which one is jaspers.

"Third one in line." Brian said as he points at the one that's coming in.

"Oh, it's one of those new "niche" airlines." Peter said as he knows what kind of plane jaspers coming in by.

As Jasper and Ricardo fly from L.A. to the Quahog Airport on Swish Airlines. While the plane is going the wrong way like a gay person, take it in the rear.

"Hey, cousin!" Jasper said hello to Brian as he run toward him.

"Hey, Jasper!" Brian said as he goes to hug his cousin.

As Emily and the boys notice Ricardo came, jaspers notice this and so he begins talking.

"Everybody, this is Ricardo, from the Philippines and my kitchen floor." Jasper said as he introduce his soul mate Ricardo from the Philippines.

"And you must be the forgotten sister." Jasper said

"Pleasure seeing you. Forgotten, Not exactly that." Emily said.

"What do you mean?" Jasper asked

"It's a long story." Brian said.

"Also, she still in diapers." Stewie said as he was standing on one of the chairs and lifted Emily's skirt to reveal her adult diaper. "Doesn't that look like a rare site?"

"Stewie!" Emily snapped as she forced her skirt back down. Then a Puerto Rican girl that had the same look as Emily except different skin tone and black hair walked up next to her.

"Looks like I'm not the only one who wears these." The Puerto Rican look alike said.

"How was your flight?" Brian asked him on how was his flight.

"Oh, torture! Five hours on my moneymaker, sitting across from a gaggle of sailors flying home on leave, here I am in a committed relationship, and all I can think about is having a piece of Navy cake. Hello. Who's that on the phone? Temptation! How does he always get my number? I don't know. Anyway, I got big news, and I'll tell you over dinner. Greek. On me. But enough about last weekend. Oh, I'm terrible! Ugh!" Jasper said as he complain that during his trip on the plane he cravings for a piece of Navy cake.

"This idiot will fit in with our family as badly as Frank Jr and Peter fit in with The Proclaimers." Stewie said as he set up a cutaway about Frank Jr and Peter fit in with The Proclaimers.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter and Frank Jr with The Proclaimers recording a song.

 **Peter, Frank Jr and the Proclaimers**

 _But I would walk 500 miles_

 _And I would walk 500 more_

 _Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles_

 _To fall down at your door_

 _Na, na, na, na_

 **Peter** **and Frank Jr**

 _Da, da, da, da_

 **Proclaimers**

 _Na, na, na, na_

 **Peter** **and Frank Jr**

 _Da, da, da, da_

 **All**

 _Na, na, na_

Peter then pushes one of the bandmates away.

"I'm singing! I'm singing!" he shouted.

Until Frank Jr pushes Peter on the floor and he beats him with his tiny fists.

"No, I'm Singing bitch!" Frank Jr shouted at Peter as he knocked him out.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join the kids having a field trip to quahog city square as Mayor Adam West is about to reveals something in the city center.

We now see Chris leave the bus with Emily as they join John and Tyler.

"Hey, Chris, this field trip is your chance, man. Alyssa's all alone." Tyler said as he plays with a hacky sack with one of Chris's friends

As Chris notice Alyssa, who is a pretty girl that Chris has a huge crush on plus she wears a blue sweater with a white button shirt underneath it and a blue skirt.

"She's so pretty that, if your hacky sack were my private parts, I'd let her do that to them." Chris said as he tells Tyler that he will let Alyssa kick his private parts.

"What? Kick them around?" John asked him if he wants his private parts kick around.

As Chris thought about it he then responded his answer.

"Um wait. Yes." Chris responded yes.

Until Emily smacks him on the head with her hand.

"Think again Chris!" Emily said as she correct him on his thoughts.

Now we see Adam west on his podium as he makes his announcement.

Welcome, citizens. Today we commemorate those brave Quahog soldiers who perished in the recent Gulf conflict. I can think of no greater tribute to their memories than this solid gold statue of Dig 'Em, the Sugar Smacks frog. Adam West said.

As he unveils a solid gold statue of Dig 'Em, the Sugar Smacks Frog to commemorate the soldiers who have died in the war in Iraq.

"The spirit of America is epitomized by his inspiring motto": "Smack, smack, Sugar Smack. Gimme a smack, and I'll smack you back." Adam West said as he said Dig 'Em's inspiring motto after presenting the Dig 'Em gold statue _._

I'd like to take this opportunity to announce extreme budget cutbacks, having almost nothing to do with this solid gold statue! Adam West said as he announce also announce extreme budget cutbacks, having almost nothing to do with this solid gold statue!

"Seriously? A gold statue... or a cereal frog?" Emily asked in a mad tone.

"Tell me about!" John said in agreement.

"You said it, j-man!" Tyler said to that statement.

That's when Alyssa came toward them in agreement.

"Have you ever seen such a waste of the taxpayers' money?" Alyssa said as she expresses her outrage to Chris.

"You're talking to me! This is more exciting than that time me and my friends did mushrooms." Chris said as he has cutaway about himself and his friends did mushrooms.

 **Cutaway**

We see Chris, John, Tyler and his two friends.

"This is gonna be awesome!" Chris said.

"You said it" friend 1 said as the three eat the mushrooms.

"Man, you guys feel anything yet?" Chris asked in a deep voice.

"I feel kinda funny" friend 1 said.

"I got a bellyache" friend 2 added.

"We shouldn'ta did this, man" John panicked in squeaky voice.

"What you think!" Tyler said in panicky tone while having flutter guy voice.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join the family at the Happy Greek restaurant as Jasper compliments Lois earrings.

"Lois, darling, those earrings are delicious. Total kitsch. Like an Andy Warhol wet dream. I'm opening a museum and putting you in it, they're that fabulous." Jasper said as he tells Lois that he love her earrings.

"You think it's clever talking like that, do you? You think it's funny? Talking about earrings, and using words like "fabulous" and "delicious" and "wet." Oh, what's next? A workout followed by a romp around a crowded room while the music goes …(techno beat)!" Stewie said as he complain about jasper behavior until he made a techno beat.

As Stewie does a techno beat we see Jasper and Ricardo dance to his beat.

Then John and Tyler join in plus Emily. As we see Frank Jr dress in rap clothing using his DJ machine to make everyone dance until Stewie stop make his techno beat.

"Oh, why did you stop?" Jasper said in question tone.

"Hey, Jasper, let me ask you something. When you're in the shower at the "Y," is that just like Supermarket Sweep for you guys, or is there some kind of etiquette?" Peter asked him if he really gay for the Y.

"Peter, stop it. God! You're more clueless than Popeye." Lois said as she set up a cutaway about Popeye being clueless.

 **Cutaway**

We see Dr. Hartman with Popeye.

"Sir, I think you should know these growths on your forearms they're giant tumors" Dr. Hartman explained as Popeye mumbles.

"Yeah, I'm surprised you haven't realized this is not how a human being is supposed to look" he explained as the pirate continued his mumbling.

"And the speech thing, and what you're doing with your eye... uh, you had a stroke about seven years ago" Dr. Hartman continued as the mumbling continued..

"That you've managed to be walking around all this time is nothing short of a miracle. I'd say about two months" Dr. Hartman finished his analysis.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the restaurant as Jasper has an announcement.

"Okay, all right, time for the big announcement. Everyone, Ricardo and I are getting married!" Jasper announces that he is marrying Ricardo.

As The family is excited for them including Brian.

"Oh, that is terrific! It's about time you two settled down." Brian said as he congratulate him for his happiness.

Now we see Stewie next to Persephone as he react the news of jasper wedding.

"Oh, You hear that Persephone? Guys can marry other guys now. So, umm. This is awkward, but... I mean, if they can do that... that's pretty much it for you, isn't it? I mean you might as well pack it in, game over." Stewie said as he made fun of Persephone of not having a boyfriend.

Until John jump him and Frank Jr bitch slap him to shut up.

Now back to James woods high school as we see Alyssa getting her stuff out of her lockers until Chris came by to talk to Alyssa.

"Uh..Alyssa, hi. I was wondering if maybe you wanted to…do something sometime?" Chris asked her if they can do something together.

"Sure, Chris. I have a Young Republicans meeting after school. You wanna come?" Alyssa said yes and she invited him to her Young Republicans meeting after school.

"Sure. What do you do at a Young Republicans meeting?" Chris asked her on she do at a Young Republicans meeting.

"We help those who already have the means to help themselves. Also, we perpetuate the ideal that Jesus chose America to destroy nonbelievers and brown people." Alyssa explain what Young Republicans meeting is.

"I don't understand what you're saying, but somehow I feel safer." Chris said what if replied.

Now we join Chris and Alyssa as they enter the society of Arch- Republican Students (S.A.R.S.) for Young Republicans meeting.

As they explore the room filed with people, they reach the person that Alyssa want to introduce to Chris with.

"Karl, this is Chris. He wants to join our club. Karl is our chancellor." Alyssa said as she introduce Karl to Chris and she tells Chris that Karl is their chancellor.

"Well, Chris, we'd be happy to have you. There's just one little rite of initiation." Karl said as he explains that they would be happy for him to join their group but There's just one little rite of initiation.

Now we join Bill Clinton as he exits his home in the nude while getting the newspaper. While he sings a song about his nudity.

 **Bill Clinton**

Oh, this is one fine day to be nude,

Yeah _, this is one fine day to be nude_

 _The birds are singing: "Clinton have a wonderful spring,"_

 _And people walkin' by can stop and look at my thing_

 _Oh, this is one fine day to be nude..._

Until He is interrupted by Chris Griffin, who was holding a carton of eggs.

"Liberal chubby chaser!" Chris Griffin shouts at him and pelts him with an egg on his chest as part of his test so he can join the Young Republicans group.

"Hahahaha, Well, if you can't laugh at yourself." Bill Clinton said as he laugh at himself.

Now we join at city hall as they are protest of the Mayor's decision to spend the town's treasury on "Dig em" statue

"I'm here at the parking lot outside City Hall, where hundreds of citizens have come out in protest of the Mayor's decision to spend the town's treasury on a gold frog." Tom tucker said as he turn to Mort Goldman for his response.

"I don't like it. And I don't like the contraction, apostrophe E-M. As far as I'm concerned, his name is "Dig Them." You're not welcome here, Dig Them." Mort Goldman said his response about the "Dig em" statue.

Now we join the Mayor West as he is giving the town his response at mayor hall.

"I stand behind my decision. This press conference is over. I can't see you now. I can't hear you now. You're not here now. La-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la, la-la."Adam west said

Now back to tom outside in front of the camera.

"Well, there you have it. Back to you, Tom." Tom tucker said as he pass it back to himself.

As the scene changes to channel 5 news as we hear tom running toward his chair with Diane.

"Thanks, Tom. Some damn fine reporting. Damn fine. Diane?" Tom tucker said as he thanks himself and then pass the report to Diane.

Now back to City hall as when people are protesting, Adam West was in his office trying to fix his problem.

"Well, it's encouraging to know that I'm not the only Mayor West who's facing difficulties. But what I need now is a diversion. Let's see." Adam West said to himself.

As Adam West uses his Political Diversions List, which reads: Outlaw Flag Burning, Use Escape Pod, Scapegoat the Jews, Suicide, Scapegoat the Blacks, Scapegoat the French, Scapegoat the Jews Again (Call them New Yorkers), Start a war, and Jingle Keys.

"Jingle keys." Adam West said as He chooses "Jingle Keys."

As He open the window and he jingle his key and the mob throw a rock right into his face.

"My God! I'm a tomato!" Adam West said as he look shocked of the blood coming out of his nose.

Now we are back at the Mallque/Griffin House as Frank Jr, Brian and Stewie are watching TV While Jasper was reading a book.

"And now back to The Sound of Music." Announcer said as we see the movie.

The scene change to The Von Trapp family escaping the Nazi soldier since when they enter their car and they tried to catch them. But their cars weren't working.

As the scene change to three nuns in a room watch it all through their window.

"Oh, thank heaven. The Von Trapp family escaped!" Reverend Mother said in relief.

Reverend Mother, I have sinned. The first nun with the glasses said as she confesses.

"What is this sin, my child?" Reverend Mother asked Nun on what she did?

The nun with glasses reveal that she is holding an engine part.

The Reverend Mother realized that her nuns have sabotaged the Nazi soldier's cars

"Oh, well. No harm done." Reverend Mother said it was fine that they did a good thing.

Until the second nun but in as she has something to confesses.

"I too have sinned, Mother." The second nun said as she revel to be holding Nazi Guard Rolfe's head

"Oh, my God! That's Rolfe!" Reverend Mother said in shocked.

This cause the second nun to snap at them.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" The nun with glasses asked the second nun what wrong with her?

"Hey, I didn't start this war, but it's on!" The second nun said as she is not taking shit for the Nazi anymore.

Now back to the living room as Lois enter the room with groceries and jasper spots her.

"Oh, Lois, there you are. Listen, Ricardo and I want to thank you for letting us have the wedding here." Jasper said as he thanks Lois for letting us have the wedding here

"You're having the wedding here?" Lois said in shocked of the wedding being here in her house which cause Emily to look at her mother with suspicious look.

Yeah. I hope that's okay, Lois. I offered them the house. Brian said

Sure. No problem. Lois said as she leave toward the kitchen.

"Hey, McButt the Crime Dog, me and Frank Jr heard you and your little chew toy getting it on last night. Keep it down." Stewie reply to jasper to keep sex quit since he and frank Jr are babies and they are trying to sleep.

Sorry, little man. Ricardo and I were playing Clue, and he got me in the bedroom with a lead pipe. Jasper said as he explains

This cause John and Tyler to vomit from hearing that?

Now we join Lois, Frank, Peter and Frank Jr in the Kitchen.

"Peter, I'm not sure I'm comfortable having this wedding at the house." Lois said as she begins to feel uncomfortable.

"Mom, I don't know what the big deal is. So they're gay, it just the way it is." Frank said as he thinks it's not a big deal.

"Yeah Lois, It's not like we're gonna have a gay sex orgy in the living room." Peter said his response and he mention a gay orgy which disturbers everyone in the kitchen.

As John, Tyler and Emily slowly move their head toward Peter in response on what he said.

"That's not what I'm talking about. I've got nothing against homosexuals. I mean, I'll watch anything with David Schwimmer. But the idea of two men actually getting married. It just doesn't seem right." Lois said as she express her concerns with gay marriage.

"Hey, I say who cares, you know? If gays wanna get married and be miserable like the rest of us, I say we should let 'em." John said in agreement with Peter and Frank.

As everyone agree to leave jasper wedding alone while lois was trying to process on her emotions until they heard something loud.

"Oh, no!" Jasper shouted offscreen.

This cause everyone in the kitchen to rushes out into the living room.

"What's wrong?" Lois asked Brian and jasper on what wrong.

Look. Brian said as he point at the TV News report.

As Tom Tucker and Diane Simmons were back on tv with a breaking news

"Some breaking news today when Mayor West announced he will sign a citywide ban on gay marriages next week. While controversial, it has nonetheless effectively distracted all of us from the Dig 'Em fiasco." Tom Tucker said as he reports Mayor West announced he will sign a citywide ban on gay marriages next week. While it has effectively distracted all of the people from the Dig 'Em fiasco.

"The what?" Diane asked her co-host about the Dig 'Em fiasco since she wasn't there at the time.

"I don't know. Something about a lizard. And now this." Tom Tucker reply and as he takes out magnetic gyro wheel or rail twirler to play with it as Diane watches him.

"Look at that. In the '30s, they called this an Uncle Spinny Dervish." Tom Tucker said about the magnetic gyro wheel being called an Uncle Spinny Dervish in the '30s.

"Really?" Diane asked in awe.

"I don't know. I'm just bored." Tom Tucker said as he continues playing with magnetic gyro wheel.

Now back to the living room with Brian in the couch.

"A ban on gay marriage?! Oh, my God!" Brian said in shocked of what he just heard.

Until the doorbell rings and Chris answers it, it reveal to be Matthew McConaughey and he is wet.

"Matthew McConaughey?" Chris said in shocked as he is meeting Matthew McConaughey.

"Yeah, I'm lookin for a guy named Stewie." McConaughey asked chris that he is looking for Stewie Griffin.

Until an arrow strikes him in the eye.

"Ay-ow!" McConaughey shouted in pain until he fall dead again.

As it reveal to be Stewie, who promptly shoots him through the eye with a crossbow. He then went toward the body.

"Chris, grab his legs, I gotta go bury this thing." Stewie instructs his older brother Chris to help bury him.

"But I..." Chris said as he doesn't like this at all.

"GRAB HIS LEGS!" Stewie shouted at Chris to do as he said already.

Now we join the family in the dining room at night as they were eating diner.

"I can't believe the wedding's off. All I ever wanted was to marry a skinny, hairless Filipino boy and live happily ever after. Isn't that the American dream?" Jasper said in pain as Jasper is heartbroken and he cries for losing his chances to get married.

"Don't give up yet, Jasper. Mayor West only banned gay marriage so he could distract from the Dig 'Em scandal. He won't get away with it." Brian said as he tries to cheer up jasper.

As we see peter, Emily, john, Tyler and Frank Jr were eating brownies

"Ah, Jasper, where'd you get these brownies?" Emily asked jasper on where he get these brownies.

"They're from a bakery in the West Quahog gay district. I thought they'd help my depression." Jasper said that the brownies were from a bakery in the West Quahog gay district.

"Oh, I can see why. Oh, my God, they pack so much fudge into these." John said as he is enjoying the brownies.

"And look at this, there's even a couple of nuts lodged in there." Tyler said as he notice that the brownies has couple of nuts lodged in there.

"I'm going upstairs." Jasper said as he leave the dining room in sadness.

"I've got to do something. Jasper's always been there for me when I've needed him. I am going to make Mayor West change his mind." Brian said as he decides to fight.

All kids agree with Brian's statement until Chris interrupts.

"But Brian, the bible says gay marriage is an abomination." Chris said as he tells Brian that the bible says gay marriage is an abomination.

"Oh, don't give me that Young Republican crap, Chris. The bible also says a senior citizen built an ark and rounded up two of every animal!" Brian said as he sets up a cutaway about Bibles Noah built an ark and rounded up two of every animal

 **Cutaway**

Inside a boat, Noah sees an elephant and a penguin being together.

"What the hell is this?" Noah demanded as a penguin body with an elephant head appeared.

"You didn't really give any specific guidelines about mating" the elephant said.

"Did you name it?" Noah asked the elephant if he name his child.

"What?" Elephant said in confusion.

"Did you name it?" Noah asked the elephant again if he name his child.

"Uh, yeah, he's Paul." Elephant reply the name Paul.

"Yeah, it's going to be a hell of a lot harder for you now, 'cause he's going the fuck overboard!" Noah said as he going to throw Paul the elepguin out of the boat.

 **Cutaway Ends**

We join Brian as he goes around gathering signatures on a petition supporting gay marriage.

As Brian ringing the bell at Quagmire's place

"Hi Glenn. Hey, eh, would you sign a petition to overturn Mayor West's ban on gay marriage?" Brian

"Gay marriage? Ah, come on! Two halves can't make a whole without a hole! Giggity giggity gigitty gigitty!" Quagmire said his response about gay marriage and then he started to sing the witch doctor.

 **Quagmire** :

 _Ooh ee ooh ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang Ooh ee ooh ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang!_

As Quagmire slams the front door.

Now we see Brian walks to Herbert's and he answer the door.

"You get outta my property, you pervert." Herbert responding to Brian's request.

As Herbert slams the front door, this caused Frank Jr shouted out of the background.

"Yeah right, you big old gay hypocrite asshole!" Frank Jr said off-screen.

As we join Brian when he goes to Bottomtooth's.

"Ehm, Mr. Bottomtooth, would you like to sign the petition?" Brian asked Mr. Bottomtooth if he would like to sign his petition.

"Uh, no, nu hamenuheeeeal..." Mr. Bottomtooth pretentious babbling his response.

"Uh I don't... wha-wha-what's the problem?" Brian said as he is confused on what Mr. Bottomtooth said.

"Humenuhheah! Humeneahhheah ahahaheah!" Mr. Bottomtooth angry pretentious babbling louder as heshowing Brian a Christian cross around his neck

"Ah, okay, thank you." Brian said as he leave and Mr. Bottomtooth close his door.

Now we see James William Bottomtooth III sings the hymn while playing the piano after refusing to sign Brian's petition to allow gay marriages in Quahog.

 **James William Bottomtooth III**

 _[Mumbling] Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound..._

Now we join Chris plus John, Tyler and Emily at the society of Arch- Republican Students (S.A.R.S.) for Young Republicans meeting. Until Alyssa came by with a concern look.

"Chris, did you hear? Some dog is going around town trying to get support for gay marriage." Alyssa asked Chris if he know about Brian

Oh, that's Brian. He's got a petition. Chris said as he explains that his dog has petition for undoing the ban of gay marriage.

"Really? Chris, you've got to destroy that petition." Alyssa tells Chris that he needs destroys the petition.

Which shocked Emily, John, Tyler and Chris by her response.

"Why?" Chris asked her on why he has to destroy that petition.

"That what I want to know?" Emily asked with an angry look at Alyssa

"Because if you do, I'll let you touch my boobs." Alyssa tells Chris that if he destroys the petition she will let him touch her boobs.

"That's it!" Emily said as she about to charge at Alyssa but John and Tyler stop her and they drag her out of the room.

"Is-is that good? Do I want that?" Chris said as he question does he want to touch her boobs.

"Oh, yeah, you want that." Alyssa said to Chris that he really want this.

"Well, fantastic then." Chris said as he agree to do what she said like an idiot.

As Alyssa look down at Chris's pant and she notice his cock stretching underneath his pants. Then Alyssa blushes and she think about getting Chris to be her boyfriend.

Meanwhile outside the (S.A.R.S.) room with John, Tyler and Emily.

What the hell guy, why did you defend her? Emily asked them on why they defended her when she is using Chris stop gay rights.

"Cause, she going to get it by Chris at the end of this episode, duh!" John said his response while breaking the fourth wall.

"How?" Emily asked while looking confuse as she notice both John and Tyler are looking at the fourth wall.

"Let's just say that Frank is going to take care of her and we never hear from her again still sometime in a later season." Tyler said as he explain that Frank has a plan to get ridded of her till she appear in a later seasons.

"Okay?" Emily said as she and the boys leave to their next class.

Now we join Lois as she struggling with the idea of gay marriage. So she and Frank Jr goes to church to see a priest for his option.

"How can I help you, Mrs. Griffin?" Priest asked Lois if he can help with something.

"Well, I'm having a bit of a crisis. I'm a very open-minded person, and I've never had any problem with gays before, but something about two gay people getting married, I just don't think it's right." Lois explains that she is struggling with the idea of gay marriage.

"And she won't listen to anybody in the house so we came here to ask your option, Father?" Frank Jr said as he tells the priest about Lois being a pain to everybody in the house for her problems with gays.

"Well, these questions are too big to be decided by human beings, which is why God made this film." Priest said as he take out an old movie for them to watch.

As the priest shows the video about homosexuals to Lois which its title, "The Homosexual and You!" Produced by Pat Robertson Industries.

As we see a guy in suit in his office who explain about the homosexuals.

"You know, there's been a lot of talk lately about homosexuals, but how do you know what to believe? Well, here are a few tips that may help you tell when you've got a gay." Guy in suit who narrators the movie.

Now scene turns to two guy's in house living room talking about stuff.

"So what's your favorite Madonna album?" The red head man asked his friend about his favorite Madonna album

"I like her early work." His friend said his response.

"If his answer is anything but "I've never bought one," you've got a gay." Guy in suit who narrators the movie said what just happed at this scene and the guy's friend is gay.

Now the scene changes to a doctor checking his patient.

"Let's take a blood sample, Mr. Braga." The doctor said as he draw out his patient blood with a needle.

But when he stick the needle to draw blood, it only draw deadly corrosive acid

If instead of human blood, you find a deadly corrosive acid, you've got a gay. The Guy in suit who narrators the movie said

The creature that comes out of Mr. Braga and attacks the doctor. Until the doctor gets his shotgun and he shoots the monster with bullets till it finally dies.

"Not this time, Nancy boy." The Guy in suit who narrators the movie said about the gay monster.

As the movies ends and we join Lois, Frank Jr and the priest.

"Wow that was interesting." Lois said as he feel a bit confused on what she has saw.

"Yeah, I didn't know that gays had aliens inside them?" Frank Jr said in question on what he just saw in the movie.

As they turn to the priest about what they just saw.

"I also have My Giant with Billy Crystal." Priest said as he take out My Giant movie.

"Oh, God, no, no." Lois and Frank Jr said no as they had enough of movies.

Now we are back at the Mallque/Griffin house as Brian and Peter return with lots of signatures for his petition for gay marriages.

"Well, we almost have enough signatures, thanks to Quahog's gay district." Brian said as he notice Lois and he goes toward her.

"Lois, how'd you like to be signature number 10,000?" Brian asked her if she wants to sign his petition.

"Brian, I can't sign this." Lois said as she refuses to sign Brian's petition

"Why not?" Brian asked on why she doesn't want to sign the petition.

As Emily, John and Tyler come from their rooms into the living room, as they wanted to see what going one.

"Well, because I don't believe in gay marriage." Lois said as she doesn't believe in gay marriage.

This shocked everyone in the living room including Brian and Emily.

"You don't believe? Mom, that's ridiculous. Gay people have every right to get married." Emily responded at her Lois for being a homophobe.

"Well, they certainly have every right to be together, but marriage should be between a man and a woman." Lois said as she express that marriage should be between a man and a woman.

"Well, that's not how they do it in West Quahog. By the way, Lois, I got a piercing over there. I'm not going to tell you where, but I'll give you a hint. It wasn't my nose or my ear and it was one of my balls." Peter said his response while hiding a piercing that he got from west quahog.

"Well, regardless of what you think, this is going to change Mayor West's mind, and we are going to have Jasper's wedding here." Brian said as he tell Lois that regardless of what she think, the petition is going to change Mayor West's mind, and they are still going to have Jasper's wedding here at the house.

"Yeah cause this American grandma, home of the free. Also I'm stay for the gay wedding!" Frank Jr said in agreement.

As the kids cheer in agreement and this made Lois look foolish.

"Fine. Then until this is all over, I'll stay somewhere else. Come on, Stewie, we're going to Grandma and Grandpa's." Lois said as she and Stewie are going to stay with her parents until this is all over.

As Stewie sighs and shrugs at what Lois said.

"Fine I'll go, but I'm not missing that gay wedding." Stewie said as he told her that he is still going to that gay wedding.

"So you are still kick yourself for missing that Topless Cheerleader Parade with the hundred-foot chocolate teddy bear and the F-16s doing aerial acrobatics choreographed to the music of Queen." Frank Jr asked Stewie that he still kick himself for missing that Topless Cheerleader Parade.

"Oh, I remember that day." Stewie said as he sets it up his flashback as a cutaway.

 **Cutaway**

We see Stewie simply sitting on the couch being bored.

"Should have gone to that thing" he said.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join Brian going in the kitchen, then he notice Chris in the kitchen as he burns the petition

"My petition! What the hell are you doing?" Brian shouted at Chris for being an idiot.

I'm going to get to touch right-wing boob because of this. Chris explain his reason for burning Brian's petition.

You idiot! Now I'm going to have to get 10,000 more signatures before tomorrow morning. What were you thinking?! Brian shouted at Chris for burning his petition cause Chris wanted some Girl's right boob. Also Brian need to stays up all night gathering another 10,000 signatures.

"You don't understand, Brian. When was the last time you were even with a woman?' Chris explain that Brian doesn't understand

"Uh... when did the Challenger blow up?" Brian asked Chris on when the Challenger blew up.

"86." Chris reply the year.

"Yeah, it was like three years before that." Brian said his response about him being with a woman.

Now we join Mayor West at Quahog town hall inside his office.

As one of his staff comes in with papers.

"Mayor West, here's the gay marriage ban for your approval." The mayor staff work said as he brought the gay marriage ban.

"Excellent. This is so important, I'm going to sign it with all capital letters. it's going to say, "ADAM WEST. " That's what it's going to say, you'll see." Mayor West said as he going to sign the gay ban with all capital letters with excitement

Until Brian rushes in the office while a black officer chase him inside.

"Hey, buddy, you can't go in there." The Black officer reply to Brian busting into the mayor office.

"Mayor West, you have to look at this. I've been up for 24 hours, I paid off a few people and I did a few things in West Quahog I'm not proud of." Brian said as He finally presents it to Mayor West.

While Brian setting up a cutaway about the few thing he did in West Quahog that he was not proud of.

 **Cutaway**

We see Brian watching TV with two guys as sultry music was played.

"So, it's a show about three hookers and their mom?" Brian wondered.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we are back to the office with Mayor West and Brian.

"This is very impressive, but my decision stands." Mayor West said as he tell Brian that his decision still stands.

As he tosses it out of the window.

"No!" Brian said in shocked as he tries to get his petition but it was too late.

"Come on, buddy, you're leaving." The black office said to Brian.

"No, I can't let Jasper down." Brian said as he was about to be drag out of the office.

As desperate moment, Brian grabs a gun from a cop and takes Mayor West hostage.

"I'm not going to let you sign that. Go on, get out of here." Brian shouted at the office worker and the black officer to leave the room.

"I should warn you. I have a tiny bulletproof shield the exact size of a bullet, somewhere on my body. And if you hit it, I'll be unharmed and your plan will be foiled. You'll be the laughing stock of me." Adam West:

"I don't want to shoot you, Mayor West." Brian said as he tells mayor west that he doesn't want to kill him.

"Good, because I'm incredibly crafty. Hey, what's that on the ceiling?" Adam West said as he distracts brain and he move toward the other side of his office.

"Ha-ha, Now I'm over here." Adam West said as he trick Brian.

Now we see quahog town hall as it being surrounded by news reporters and cops while Mayor West and Brian were still inside.

"Look, this has gotten out of hand, I know. I don't want anyone to get hurt. You can put an end to this right now by tearing up that gay marriage ban." Brian said that this has gotten out of hand.

As Brian doesn't want anyone to get hurt and he begs the mayor to put an end to this right now by tearing up the gay marriage ban.

But the mayor refused it.

"You won't break me. Everything I needed to escape from a hostage situation." Adam West said as he leaves his desk.

Then we see him hacking out a life raft out of his mouth, he tries to escape but he bumps into the wall.

"A wall! Well, no matter. I'm prepared for a lengthy captivity as well." Adam West said as he hacks again and he pops out a People magazine.

"I swallowed this People magazine in 1989. All right, Paul Hogan, tell me about the real Crocodile Dundee." Adam West said as he reads the people magazine.

Meanwhile at Pewterschmidt mansion with Lois's parents as they welcoming their daughter and grandson to their home.

"It's so nice to have you home, dear." Barbara said as she is happy to see Lois.

"I can take it or leave it." Carter said his response like a dick as always.

As we zoom in to Stewie as he is bored as balls right now.

"God, this is such an old people house, you know. I mean, look at this candy jar. Let's take a look in here. Let's see what you got here. You got, uh Oh, you got licorice. Oh, that's, uh, that's, uh Oh, Freedent. Oh, that's good. Yeah, yeah, I got a sweet tooth, I think I'll have some Freedent. Oh, what's this? Oh, a cough drop. A Luden's cough drop. Is that candy? No, I don't think that's candy. I think it's a cough drop! Uh, what else we got? Oh, look, look at this. There's a fishing lure in here. There's a fishing lure in the candy jar. What, am I supposed to eat this? Eat a fishing lure? Hey, look, Brian's on TV." Stewie said as he examines the candy jar and found weird stuff inside until his notice Brian on TV.

"And now, some Channel 5 exclusive footage of the crazed homosexual gunman who's taken Mayor West hostage." Tom tucker said from outside the town hall.

As the camera show Brian and mayor west were at gun point at each other inside.

Now back at Pewterschmidt living room as Lois sees Brian on TV.

"Oh, my God! Brian's taken the Mayor hostage?! Is this an eyeglass lens? I didn't realize how strongly he feels about this." Lois said as she realizes how strongly he feels

"Gay marriage. Next thing you know, they'll want to vote." Carter said as he didn't like gay marriage either.

Now back to Stewie as he examines the candy jar again.

"Oh, oh, look at this. A spare key for a Volkswagen Scirocco. They don't even make this anymore. They don't even make this car anymore. Whose key could this possibly be?" Stewie said as he found a spare key for a Volkswagen Scirocco and They don't even make this car anymore.

Now back to Lois and Carter.

"What if Brian's right? I mean, certainly the love between a man and a woman should be sacred, but…" Lois said as she tell her father her option on marriage.

Who's talking about love? We're talking about marriage. Carter said as he tells her that marriage is sacred and doesn't involved love at all.

"Well, don't you love Mom?" Lois asked him if he love her mom at all.

"Come on, Lois, look at her." Carter said as he tell the truth like a dick.

"So two straight people who hate each other have more of a right to be together than two gay people who love each other?" Lois question him at his logit of people having right being together even though they hate each other than gay people.

"That's what we raised you to believe." Barbara said as it is made clear that Barbara and Carter married because Carter was rich.

"Oh, my God! I've made a terrible mistake! I've been brainwashed like Elizabeth Smart." Lois realizes she's been brainwashed by her family and changes her mind about gay marriage. As she set up a cutaway shows Elizabeth Smart.

 **Cutaway**

We see Elizabeth Smart and her husband back together with an interview.

"It's so wonderful having her home again. She's brought music back into the house. Playing songs on the harp. Of course, most of them are about rape, but it's still nice" the husband said.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join Chris and Alyssa outside town hall.

"I think I made Brian crazy. Maybe I shouldn't have burned that petition." Chris said as he realized that he cause brain to be this way and he regret his decision of burring the petition.

"Oh, no, Chris, you did the right thing. It's only a matter of time before Mayor West signs that bill and you'll get to touch these."Alyssa said as she points to her breasts.

"Oh boy! I've got a feeling that before the end of the day, I'm going to be burying my dog." Chris said as that Brian going to die by the end of the day.

"Whoa, whoa! I said you could touch my boobs. Let's start with that." Alyssa said as she tries to calm him down.

That's it, I'm killing this bitch! Emily shouted as she about to kill Alyssa.

Until she was knocked out by blow dart. Then we see John and Tyler drag her away until they notice frank gives them the thumbs up.

Now we join Peter and Frank Jr with Joe as he getting ready with crew to bust inside to arrest Brian.

"Look, Peter and Frank Jr, if you can't get Brian to come out peacefully, we're going to have to take him down." Joe said as he explains to peter that if he can't get Brian to come out peacefully, they were going to have to take him down.

"Don't worry, Joe, Me and grandpa are good with tight situations." Frank Jr said to joe that they were good in tight situations.

"Like when I saved Luke Skywalker's life." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about himself saving Luke skywalker's life.

 **Cutaway**

We see Han solo saving Luke Skywalker.

"Okay, Luke, this will keep you warm until I get the shelter built" Han Solo said as he cuts Peter's stomach, which had worms inside.

"You sure this is okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, you're just cutting into the fat" Peter approved.

 **Cutaway Ends**

All right, Brian, Peter's coming in. Joe said threw his megaphone.

As both peter and Frank jr enter town hall toward the mayor office.

I'll relax him by using my catch phrase. Peter said to Frank Jr his plan to calm down Brian.

As they both enter the room while Brian close the door behind them.

"Hey! Whassa happa wit' chyu?" Peter said as he changes to Italian accent.

As a laugh track plays in the background which freaky out Brian.

"What the hell was that?" Brian asked him on why he is talking like that?

"My catch phrase." Peter said as he return to New England accent.

"You don't have a catch phrase." Brian said his response as he know that peter doesn't have a catch phrase.

"Why a you gotta say it like a dat?" Peter said it in a Italian accent.

That's when mayor west come to them and he =hack another thing from his mouth and it was a bored game.

"Excuse me. Would anyone like to play Stratego? I have Stratego." Mayor West said as he explain that he has Stratego and asked them if they want to play with him.

"I do!" Frank Jr said as he like bored games.

"Guys, I never meant for this to happen. This whole situation is totally spiraled out of control." Brian said as he feel this event is going out of control until he heard someone familiar outside.

As we join Lois outside the courthouse and she is using a megaphone to talk to Brian.

"Brian, listen to me. I was wrong. If two people love each other, they should have the right to get married. But you have to come down and give yourself you drag this out any longer, you're only hurting your own cause." Lois convinces Brian to give himself up.

Now back inside in the mayor office as Brian feel terrible.

"She's right. I'm sorry, Mayor West." Brian said as he gives up and he give the gun to mayor west.

"Well, you were only doing what you thought was right, Brian. And, hey, you've distracted everyone from the Dig 'Em statue, so I guess we don't need this bill anymore." Mayor West tears up the gay marriage ban since Brian kidnapping has distracted everyone from the Dig 'Em fiasco.

"Evera-bodah ha-ppy!" Frank Jr said vas he takes Peter's catch phrase.

Now we join ourselves at the Mallque/Griffin backyard as Jasper and Ricardo have their wedding after all.

As Brian give jasper away to Ricardo and they begin the marriage ceremony. Then we see Brian take a seat next to Lois.

"Well, it sure was nice of Mayor West to drop the kidnapping charges." Lois said as she think that mayor west is nice to drop the kidnapping charges.

"Amazing. All he asked for in return was the key to a Volkswagen Scirocco." Brian said as he knew that mayor west only asked for in return was the key to a Volkswagen Scirocco.

"You're welcome." Stewie said as he was the one that had the key.

Now back to Lois and Brian.

"Listen, Lois, I really appreciate you putting your discomfort aside, so we can have the wedding here." Brian said as he tells her that he appreciate Lois putting her discomfort aside, so they can have the wedding here.

"Please, I'm over all that now. Two men getting married doesn't bother me in the least. They deserve happiness." Lois said as she is over know and gives Jasper and Ricardo happiness.

Everybody gay! Peter, Frank and Frank Jr said as everyone laugh at their catch phrase

Now we join Emily and frank at the back of the cue section.

Hey frank, what happened to Alyssa after the kidnapping charges were drop? Emily asked him on where Alyssa went after the kidnapping.

"Oh, she with hot women!" Frank reply as he sets up a flashback.

 **Flashback**

They send her to bumblescum to live with Sam and loka. Also she raise Chris's kids until Chris graduate high school.

Until Chris sneaked through bumblescum till he get Alyssa too escaped into his private corridor.

Alyssa fell back looked up at Chris and smiled, only for him rip the buttons from her shirt in one swift pull, exposing her bra-clad tits.

Alyssa felt his hands pull her bra down, leaving the thin teen exposed to monstrous dick shoved towards her.

Alyssa was not wearing any panties, when she was with Chris, she never did.

She felt herself being lifted and then tilted into a laying position, and then impaled on the long, thick penis of Chris.

He fucked her pussy aggressively, which she was truly enjoying. She moaned in pleasure, and Chris pulled out and shoved it in her mouth, with his exploding with cum.

She swallowed what she could, left the pieces on her breasts as they were, pulled up her bra, buttoned her shirt up and started to leave toward her room.

She never notice that inside her body, a huge fleet of spermatozoid-spaceships (just like seen in the episode 'Emission impossible') swims trough Alyssa's reproductive system.

"Get out of my way!" shouted one of the pilots, as he fired the canons of his spaceship, aiming to nearby spermatozoids

"There's no way I'm going to let you reach into the ovule before me!" said another, as he also fired.

"Watch out, a dead end!" shouted another spermatozoid in horror, as he and many other spaceships crashed against the diaphragm. Only the last spermatozoids were able to stop in time.

"Crap, I'm running out of gas!" said a female voice, revealing her anger "What are we going to do?"

"Hey, I've detected and aperture!" said another female voice, as she drove towards a small rift, only visible through a microscope.

However, it was big enough for a spermatozoid. The remaining spaceships followed her.

"There's the ovule!" shouted in excitement.

"Yes, but you won't live for become a baby!" said one of her chasers, as he fired her cannons at her.

The female pilot was able to dodge the lasers and quickly reached the ovule.

"YES!" shouted in victory, as a new life was created.

 **Flashback over**

As the scene fade to black until we notice Frank winking back at you read.

 **Chapter End**

 **I hope everyone enjoyed! This is thanking for pen123 and Family Guy Fan writer 15, Thank you all for cutaways, scenes, favoring, having me on alerts and with that. So enjoy and see you next chapter.**


	27. Chapter 76: Petergeist

**Chapter 76:Petergeist**

 **Narrator** _  
_ _Fresh out the net box  
Stop, look, and watch  
Ready yet, get set  
It's Family Guy!_

We see paparazzi taking photos of the cast as they come out of the limo and they walk on the red carpet.

 **Chorus:** _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

First it show Frank waling out of the limo with a poster with the words "oh" and he poses for the camera.

Then its shows Meg comes in looking all sexy as she signs autographs while she winks at the fans.

Then it turn to Lois comes in hopping while grabbing rose as she gives a kiss toward the fans.

 **Chorus:** _Check it, check it, check it  
Now this is just an introduction  
Before I blow your mind  
The show is All of That and yes we do it all the time_

Then it shows Frank Jr poses as he pull his hat down his chest as he throws a rose to the Fans.

Then next person to show up on the carpet is Stewie. As he flips his hat back to his head while he give autographs to fans.

Then Brian comes in sliding on the red carpet as he waves at the fan as he walks in _._

 **Chorus:** _So sit your booty on the floor or in a chair  
Ground or in the air  
Just don't go nowhere_

Then Emily comes in give autographs as she smiles at the fans as she tells one of her fans to call her.

Then the scene shows Persephone puts a rose on her mouth with a sexy angry look on her face.

 **Chorus:** _Cause everything we do  
It's all of that!  
When entertaining you  
We all of that!_

Then Chris shimming down the carp as he gives the fan a shout out.

Then Peter slide towards the carpet as he flips his hat back on his head.

 **Chorus:** _My posse and my crew  
It's all of that!  
So sit still cause we're coming right back_

Then the scene shows John throws a rose at his fans.

As the scene, changes to Tyler puts on rose his mouth as he gives everyone thumbs up.

 **Chorus:** _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

Then scene change to the Family Guy MC Cast walks down the stairs as they take a group photo while looking gangsters of the 80. All this while music ends as the scene fades to black.

As we join Frank Jr and Peter is watching TV in the living room of the Mallque/Griffin house.

"We now return to JAG." The announcer guy said as we see Colonel Sarah MacKenzie talking to Captain Harmon Rabb in his office.

"Harm, I found that evidence we need. Now we can finally clear that Chief Petty Officer of all charges Oh, what's the point? Does anybody even watch this show?" Lieutenant Colonel Sarah MacKenzie stops her speech to Captain Harmon Rabb by asking him if anyone watches the show.

"Well, yeah, old people. I mean, they, they, don't really pay attention. They just like the noise and the company." Harm says that only old people watch it because the noise keeps them company.

As harm turn to the audience to talk to them.

"Hey, how you doing? How's that hip doing there? Remember the '40s?" Harm talks to the audience who are old people.

Now back to the living room as the doorbell rings and Lois answer it. It is reveal to be Cleveland and Menma at the front door.

"Hey, everybody. I'm just here to let y'all know that movie night's been moved to Joe's place." Cleveland said as he explain that movie night's been moved to Joe's place instead of the Mallque/Griffin house tonight.

This news shocked both peter and Frank Jr who were on the couch.

"What? We always do it here. Movie night at the Mallque/Griffin house is a tradition." Frank Jr said as he was looking forward to movie night her at his house

"Yeah, but Joe just finished putting in his new home theater. "Cleveland said as he explain that Joe builds a home theater in his house.

"It's going to be tight, y'all." Menma said as he tells that tonight is gonna to be amazing, y'all.

Now we join the family going to the Swanson family house as they notice the home theater.

"Oh, my God, Joe, how did you do this?" Frank asked him on he made this theater.

"I built it myself with supplies I got at the Home Supply downtown." Joe explains that he built it himself with supplies he got at the Home Supply downtown.

As we zoom in to peter and Frank Jr talking trash about Joe since they are jealous about the theater.

"Between you and me, I think Joe's got a little free time these days." Peter said to Frank Jr about Joe's free time.

I hear he hasn't touched Bonnie in months. Frank Jr said to peter about Joe not touching bonnie in years in the bed.

As they not realize that they were talking to Joe as well.

Frank Jr, Peter, you two just whispered that to me. Joe said as he busted them.

"Shh, here he is." Frank Jr said as he shush Peter.

"Joe! What a great job you've done here." Peter said as he fake congratulate him on his theater.

While Joe roll his eyes in disgust by their ignorance.

"All right, let's get this started." Joe said as he rolls over the movie projector to start the movie.

As they all take their seats as the movie begins.

"Thank you for choosing Joe Swanson Theatres." Woman said as the screen turn up.

The screen film has a Joe Swanson Theatres logo which is a parody of the 1984-1993 TriStar Pictures logo.

As they were watching Rocky VI, it was the film was seen at a party in Joe and Bonnie Swanson's home.

"Rocky, please don't go to Mars and fight the Martian." Adrian said as she doesn't want rocky to fight Martian on mars.

"I got to do what I got to do." Rocky said as he does what he doing best.

"But there's no oxygen on Mars." Adrian said as she explain about mars not having no oxygen.

"Yeah? That means there's no oxygen for him, either. That Martian wants a fight, he'll get a fight." Rocky decides to challenge a Martian to a boxing match on Mars.

As he get out of bed leaving Adrian alone in her room.

"You can't win, Rock! You're 60 years old!" Adrian said as her disapproval.

"Hey, look what Rocky bought me with his money." Mickey Goldmill said as he run on a Segway.

Now we join the Mallque/Griffin family walking back to their house after the movie night was over. As peter rant about Joe's Movie Theater like a child.

"Freakin' Joe with his home theater. Has to top everything I do. Well, tomorrow I'm going to that home supply and I'm going to build an entire multiplex." Peter said

"Yeah I'm sick of not having my movie time being up stage by that dirty Joe, grandpa. So I'm going to help you!" Frank Jr said in agreement.

"Well, let's just hope it looks better than that balcony you two built." Lois said as she sets up a cutaway about the balcony they built.

 **Cutaway**

Frank Jr, Peter and Lois are watching TV while Statler and Waldorf watch from their balcony.

"Boy, that was a great episode of Lost, wasn't it, fellows?" Peter asked.

"Well, at least the show's got the right name" Statler said.

"Yeah, I couldn't follow any of it" Waldorf added as everyone laughed.

"They don't care for most things" Peter laughed stupidly.

Yeah they are so silly grandpa! Frank Jr said in agreement.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join the family at the Home Supply store to get supply for peter's multiplex.

"Can I help you?" Home Supply Employee asked peter on what he need at their store.

"Yeah, I hate my neighbor and I want to build something crazy out of spite." Peter Griffin said as he asked that he needs stuff to build something crazy out spite since he hate his neighbor.

"Well, I'll take you to our "one up-man-ship" aisle." Home Supply Employee said as his point at the aisle for their needs.

"Man, this place has everything." Frank Jr said in awe of the place having everything they need.

"I bet you could even get one of those gay mailboxes." Peter said as he set up a cutaway about a gay mailbox.

 **Cutaway**

We see a blue mailbox talking to a mailman.

"Hello, hello! Right here. Yeah, just right here. Just go ahead and put that right in here. Yeah. Gulp. Just kidding" the gay mailbox said as mail was fed to him.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Back to the home supply store with a saleswomen being introduce to Adam west.

Pardon me, I just bought a Rottweiler and I need a sign to warn people how dangerous it is. Adam West asked the saleswoman for a sign for people to beware of his dog.

As Saleswoman reaching for "Beware of Dog" sign for Adam west.

"Well, we have exactly what..." Saleswoman said as she about to give adam the sign until she was interrupt by him.

As Adam gets a "One Way" sign.

"Ah, yes. Here it is..."One Way". So people will know if they step into my yard, there's only one way out. In a body bag. From dog injuries. Good day, ma'am." Adam West said as he thank her for her help and leave with the one way sign.

Now we join Peter, Frank Jr, Chris and Brian bring lumber at the backyard so they can build Peter's multiplex theater.

"This'll teach Joe to steal our movie night." Frank Jr said as he and his grandpa are ready to build the theater to rub it in Joe face.

"I'm going to have my own multiplex theater. I haven't been this excited since I learned how to speak Braille" Peter said to Frank Jr about his cutaway about himself learn braille.

 **Cutaway**

"Hey, bump, bump, no bump, bump, three vertical bumps, four bumps and a square" Peter translates to a blind man.

"Yeah, I've heard they all look alike" the blind man smiled.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the backyard with the family. As they are digging for the theater space.

While they were digging, peter struck something in the backyard.

"Hey, look what I found." Peter said as he finds the skull of a Deceased Indian Chief buried in the backyard.

"Wow, authentic Native American remains. Dad, I'd put that back if I were you. You may be disturbing a sacred burial site." Emily said as she urges him to put the skull back.

"Hey, look, its Robin Williams. Bla, bla, bla. Black preacher voice, Bla, bla, bla. Gay Elmer Fudd." Peter said as he decides to use it as a novelty.

"Ahahahaha. Ah, the more you hear it, the funnier it gets." Chris said as he laughs at his father's joke.

As the John and Tyler also laugh in agreement.

"You said it Chris!" John said in agreement.

"Hahahahaha, Gay Elmer Fudd!" Tyler is laughing his pants off cause of peter's joke on the backyard grass.

Now we join the family in the dining room at night as peter still use skull as a novelty.

"Want some more peas, Chief Diamond Phillips?" Peter asked his skull if he wants to eat peas.

This caused Emily to look distress from what her father is doing to the Native American skull.

"Dad please listen to me, I really think you should put that back where you found it." Emily said as she tries to get her father to just return the skull head back to its grave before it get even worse.

But he ignore her and Peter turns to Brian to bug him.

"You know, Brian, I really don't think you should breast-feed the skull." Peter said to Brian about he should breast-feed the skull.

"I'm not breast-feeding." Brian said as he is not breast-feeding nobody.

"All right, fine. God, you're pushy. Suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, So many nipples. Suck, suck, suck." Peter said as he puts the skull near Brian's nipples so he can pretend that Brian is breast feeding.

"Knock it off!" Brian shouted at peter to stop putting the skull near his nipples.

"Oh, I'm Brian. I'm having sustenance. Look at me, everybody. I'm breast-feeding in public even though it's wrong." Peter said as he is having a lot of fun with the skull.

Now we join Peter, Frank Jr and Lois were in the master bedroom watching TV in bed.

As Frank Jr, Lois and Peter watch a classic movie before bed.

"And now back to 1943's Fast Talking High Trousers." The announcer guy said as the movie is about two detective who wear their pants high up that cover their faces.

They both are near a death person on the floor who also has high pants that covers his face.

"Well, isn't this a fine song and dance?" The first high pants said as he feel ridicules.

"What are you getting so hot about?" The second high pants asked him why he is so mad.

"Keep your shirt on." The first high pants said as he pull him off.

"Where do you get off making remarks like that?" The second high pants said as he calls him off.

"Supposing I say you're a lunkhead?" The first high pants said as he call him a name.

"Well, I ain't much for supposing." The second high pants said as he getting piss off.

"Well, supposing you were?" The first high pants said as he is getting piss off too.

"Maybe I'm through supposing and I fix to start figuring." The second high pants said as he call him out again.

"Ah, horseradish. Aren't you a pocketful of firecrackers?" The first high pants said as he call him a pocketful of firecrackers.

"Oh, Yeah? You got something to say about it?" The second high pants said as he call him out from calling him names again.

"I'll say plenty." The first high pants said as he put up fisticuffs.

Now back to the bedroom as peter was on the left side of the bed doing something to the skull.

"I can't wait to see the expression on Joe's legs when I open my multiplex." Peter said as he is excited for when he open his multiplex tomorrow.

"I have to say I'm a little concerned about the zoning for …..Peter, are you peeing in that skull?" Lois asked peter on why he is peeing inside the skull.

"No, Lois, I'm getting up and walking all the way to the bathroom and doing it there..." Peter said as he made excuses for himself which piss him off.

As Frank Jr wake up from the chatter of his Grandparents.

"Pain in the ass." Peter said to himself about Lois being a pain in the ass.

As Frank Jr smell something bad and he realized what Peter just did.

"What, gross grandpa!' Frank Jr said in discuss.

This concludes our broadcast day. The only time of the day I get to try out my Fred Schneider B-52s voice. Now try to get some sleep out there. Not bad. Getting better. Yeah. Tom Tucker said his reporter and the TV turn off.

As Stewie woke up hearing something and he walk toward Peter and Lois's room. While he kneeling next to the television, Stewie has a conversation about the TV shows Friends.

"Uh-huh. I don't know. I don't know." Stewie answer the TV questions.

"Oh, you didn't see it? Uh Ross and Rachel got back together. It wasn't that great." Stewie mentions that the former ended with; "Oh, Ross and Rachel got back together again", and that the latter isn't going so well, referencing the poor ratings Joey received.

As Frank Jr wake up and walk toward Stewie and he question why is he here in the room.

While Stewie is watching the static TV, a rather scary hand-like lightning bolt zaps the picture behind Peter and Lois' bed.

"Holy crap!" Both Lois and Peter said as they wake up

What the hell was that? Brian asks what is happening, in the room with concern.

"Frank Jr and Stewie, what are you doing?" Lois asked her son and grandson on what they are doing in their room near the TV.

"They're here." Stewie replies in a sing-song voice, "They're here..." referencing the catch phrase from the Poltergeist films.

"Who's here?" Frank Jr asked in horror on who is here in the room with them.

"The TV people." Stewie said his reply until he hear the TV asking Frank Jr this time.

"Huh, What? No, they did a spin-off. He's still playing Joey, but eh, it's not doing so well." Frank Jr said as he having a conversation about the TV show spin-off Joey.

Now it morning at the Mallque/Griffin house, we see Lois in the kitchen making breakfast as Emily and Brian enter the room.

"Uh, mom, have you, uh, noticed some spooky things going on ever since dad brought that skull into the house?" Emily asked her if she noticed some spooky things going on ever since peter brought that skull into the house.

"No. What are you talking about?" Lois asked on what she is talking about.

"As Emily said it, Well, like the whole business last night with the TV. I'm just saying maybe, maybe we have a poltergeist." Brian said as he explain that they may have a poltergeist

That when John and Tyler enter the room when they heard what Brian said about ghost.

"Brian, there's no such thing as ghosts." John said as he doesn't believe in ghost.

Until the chairs and refrigerator being stacked upside down on the kitchen table.

"It's all just Oh, I must have accidentally stacked all those things upside down and then just forgot about it." Lois said as she is in denial of the events that are happening.

"Yeah, that's probably what happened." Tyler said as he is starting to get scared.

"Well, I haven't seen this much denial since John Travolta married Kelly Preston." Emily said as she set up a cutaway about John Travolta married Kelly Preston.

 **Cutaway**

"John, do you take Kelly to be your wife?" the priest asked.

"I totally do. I mean, yeah, yes. Absolutely. And I'm going to do stuff to her, too, like... touch her." John Travolta:

Kelly nods

"Yeah, touch her. And, kiss her?" John Travolta:

Kelly nods again

"And touch her penis." John Travolta said about Kelly having a penis.

As Kelly gives him a look

"I mean, no, not that, not that" John added as Kelly gave him a grossed outlook.

 **Cutaway End**

Now back to the house at night as we join Chris in his room and he is cowering in bed. over the upcoming storm.

Until Peter and the boys come inside Chris.

"Goodnight buddy!" Peter said until John and Tyler notice that Chris is scared.

"Hey, what's the matter?" John asked Chris on what wrong.

"I'm scared of the storm, guys!" Chris said as he tells them that he is scared of the storm.

"Why, you know I think the storm is moving away from us Chris." Peter said as he calms Chris down.

This caused John and Tyler to rebottle.

"You know how I can tell? Here's a little trick. When you see the lighting you count all the terrible things that can happen to a child until you hear the thunder. By telling him that the storm will pass if they can name off the worst things that can happen to a child." John explain a trick about dealing with the lighting.

"And if you count higher each time, you know the storm is moving away from you." Tyler explain the rules of the game.

"Okay ready?" Peter asked Chris if he is ready.

"Ready?" Chris reply yes.

As the thunder flash them to start their game.

"Okay. Drowning." Peter said drowning.

Getting shot in a drive-by. John said about getting shot in a drive-by

Lyme disease from a deer tick. Chris said about Lyme disease from a deer tick.

"Good, good. Getting stabbed in the face." Tyler said to Chris good job of his response and he said Getting stabbed in the face.

"Getting shot in the face." Chris said Getting shot in the face.

"Shot in the face. There you go. I see you're kind of stealing mine, but it's okay." Tyler said as he doesn't like Chris one upping him.

"Leukemia." John said Leukemia.

"Having a mosquito bite on top of a scab." Chris said about having a mosquito bite on top of a scab.

As the thunder rumbling and they have to start over again

"Oh there's your thunder. Okay let's try again." Peter said as he want to play again.

"Okay. Swallowing a razor blade accidentally." Tyler said about swallowing a razor blade accidentally.

As thunder rumbling again and its scares both John and Tyler plus peter.

"Oh, crap!" John said in fear of the storm.

"It's getting closer." Tyler said as they all jump inside Chris bed and cover themselves in fear of the storm.

Now we join Stewie and Frank Jr in their rooms in fear of the storm alone in their room.

"Okay, okay, try to think of a happy place to be." Frank Jr said as he tries to find HIS happy place.

"Happy place Um, okay, okay I'm on MTV's Jackass." Stewie said as he makes a cutaway about himself and Frank Jr in MTV's Jackass.

 **Cutaway**

As we join Frank Jr and Stewie wearing jackass clothing and being on the show in their house.

"Hey, I'm Stewie Griffin, and I'm going to be kicking my dad's ass all day today" Stewie talked to the audience with the name STEW-O on the front of the screen.

As he proceeds to be the crap out of Peter in the bathroom while he's…taking a crap.

"What the hell?! Ah! Stewie! Stop! Ah! Ah! Knock it off! Knock it...! Ah! Ah!" peter said as he is getting his ass kicked by Stewie.

"Nice!" Frank Jr said as he signals Stewie to stop and they ran out of the bathroom.

Come on! Come on, Stewie. You're acting crazy out there, man" Peter complained after getting his ass kicked by the baby.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to Stewie as he signs in relief and he goes to sleep.

Until Stewie gets sucked into his closet threw a portal. As Frank Jr also wakes up from the noise and he hold on tight to the front door.

"I haven't seen anything suck this much since... I HEART HUCKABEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE'S!"Stewie shouted as he being sucked inside the portal.

"STEWIE!" Frank Jr shouted for his uncle as he see Stewie disappears in portal and his bed covers the portal, then a lap knocks him out unconscious.

Now we join peter in his bathroom, as his notice a cut on his face.Peter tears the skin of his face off looking into the bathroom mirror, but he turns into Hank Hill instead of a bloody face.

"Hahahaha **,** Propane." Peter laughs about it and says the word "propane," which is a commonly-mentioned topic on King of the Hill.

Now back in Chris's room as he hiding in his covers.

"I wish that scary-looking clown at the end of my bed would go away." Chris said as he see Ronald McDonald making the trademark Golden Arches with his hands.

Until a tree comes alive and tries to eat Chris, but Herbert stop him.

"Hey there, skinny britches. That's my man! Why don't you pick on someone your own size?" Herbert said to the tree about Chris

As the tree didn't listen to Herbert, he gotten mad.

"You shall not pass." Herbert said as he and the tree react the fight between Gandalf and the Balrog.

As Herbert faced the tree to enable the others to escape. After a brief exchange of blows, Herbert broke the bridge beneath the tree with his crouches. As the tree fell, it wrapped its vines around Herbert's legs, dragging him over the edge. As Chris looked on in horror, Herbert fell into the abyss

"Run Chris, you fool!" Herbert crying to him before he went.

After a long fall, Herbert and the tree crashed into a deep subterranean lake in Moria's underworld.

Now we join Lois and Emily as they enter Frank Jr and Stewie room. They notice frank Jr on the floor unconscious.

"Oh my god Frank Jr, are you okay?" Emily said as she held Frank Jr in her arms.

That's when Peter came when he heard his favorite grandson was hurt.

"Oh no, Frank Jr!" Peter said as in pain as he look at his grandson knocked out.

"Stewie? Oh, my God, Stewie, honey! Where are you?! Peter, I can't find him anywhere." Lois shout for her son and she tell peter that she can't find him anywhere.

"Mommy?" Stewie said through the TV

"Stewie? Where are you?" Lois asked him on where he is.

"Look behind you, you stupid cow!" Stewie shouted at them through the TV

"Stewie? Oh, my God! What's happening?" Lois asked his son on what going one threw the TV.

"Oh, wait, hold on a second. I want to try something." Stewie said through the TV

 **Stewie** :

 _I remember_

 _I remember the worry, worry_

 _How could I ever forget_

 _The hurt doesn't show but the pain still grows_

 _No stranger to you and me_

Now we join the family in the dining room as they invited Bruce to help them with their ghost problem.

Thank you for coming. We've never hired a spiritual medium before, but I'll do anything to get my baby back. Lois said as she thanks Bruce for coming and helping them get Stewie back from the other side.

"You know, we wouldn't be messing around with ghosts if you hadn't desecrated an Indian's remains." Emily said as she tell peter that it his fault for messing around with that skull.

"But Noooo! Pikachu knows everything!" Frank Jr said in agreement while making fun of peter stupidly.

That's when peter feel bad for what he did and confesses something to the family.

"Probably not a good time to mention I'm using the skull as an athletic cup." Peter said as he is using the skull as an athletic cup.

"You think?" Frank said sarcastically.

"Okay, let's talk to some spirits. Hey, how y'all ghosts doing? Y'all got a little friend of ours named Stewart up there. We was just wondering if you could send him back." Bruce said as he asked the ghost in the house on if they can send Stewie back to their world.

Nothing but silence as Bruce talks to the ghosts.

Uh-huh. Well, yes, but I Well, I don't see how that's anybody's business but my own. Bruce said as the ghost said something nasty to Bruce.

This made Frank Jr and the rest of the kids all blushes since they heard the ghost said something dirty to Bruce.

"Well, how about you and my father go and hang out at the gun range some afternoon and you can spend the whole day just agreeing with each other." Bruce said to the ghost about going to his father and hang out at the gun range some afternoon and you can spend the whole day just agreeing with each other.

Until Lois interrupts him.

"What are they saying? Is my baby all right?" Lois asking Bruce if Stewie alright on the other side.

"They said that your baby had entered their world through the closet upstairs and that the exit is Well, I don't know how else to say this, but the exit is your older twin daughter's bum." Bruce explains that Stewie had entered their world through the closet upstairs and that the exit is their older twin daughter's bum

"Old twin daughter….Meg's ass!" Frank said in shocked as the family also gasp in awe.

While Emily fainted on the floor and Persephone hug Meg for her burden.

"No freaken way!" Frank Jr shouted in excitement.

"God, this even weirder than when bob Costas insisted on getting into the tub with me every time I took a bath." Peter comments that the revelation of the spirit world exit being in Meg's butt as a cutaway that haves Bob Costas bathe with him.

 **Cutaway**

Now we the Mallque/Griffin bathroom as peter near the bathtube.

"Awe, this will be relaxing!" Peter said as he enter the tube.

As Bob Costas getting in the tub with Peter.

"Hello again, Peter, and this gonna be great. We can talk sports and we can play with your tub toys." Bob Costas said as he is doing color commentary on the bath he's taking.

"Sigh, yeah, listen bob, this is- this is kind of my time." Peter said as he tries to explain to bob that this is his bath time.

"Ah, a miniature boat. And if I'm not mistaken, it's a replica of the Gretel II, Which lost The American's cup to the intrepid in 1973." Bob Costas explains that Peter's toy boat it's a replica of the Gretel II, Which lost The American's cup to the intrepid in 1973.

"Yeah, uh, I'm going to dry off now." Peter said as he leave the tub to get a towel to cover himself.

"Peter, now that you're getting out of the tub, what will you miss most?" Bob Costas asked peter what he will miss most form the tube.

But peter signs as he leave the bathroom.

 **Cutaway End**

Now back to the house as Frank, Peter and Brian were near the portal to the other side in Frank Jr and Stewie's room closet.

"You ready down there?" Peter shouted from upstairs as he about to throw a ball into the portal.

Now we see the down stair living room with Chris, Emily, Lois, Frank Jr and Persephone were near the TV as Meg act like the exit portal.

"Okay, Meg, if this works, then we might just have a chance at getting Stewie back." Emily asked her sister if they check her portal works they might get Stewie back.

"Are you ready?" Lois asked Meg if she is ready.

"No." Meg shouted no but Lois ignore her reply.

"Ready!" Lois shouted to peter that they are ready to check the portal. While Persephone hug her twin for her life.

Now back upstairs with Peter, Frank and Chris.

"Okay, here we go." Peter said to Chris as he throws the ball into the portal.

Meanwhile down stair in the living room, the ball came out of Meg's ass into Lois's hand as she caught it.

"Got it!" Lois shouted as they were success in testing the portal.

"Cool!" Frank Jr said in excitement

"Ass ball!" Chris said as he call the ball a cool name for himself.

Now back to Emily and Lois near the TV.

"Peter, it worked! We found the portal to the other side." Lois said to peter that the portal works.

Until a golf ball passes through Meg's ass and crash into a window.

"Dad, what the hell are you doing up there?" Emily ask in annoyance.

"We're gonna get those terrorists." Peter said as he set the ball for Frank's turn while he think they are fighting terrorist.

"Now watch this drive." Frank said as he hits the ball with his cub into the portal.

As another golf ball pass through Meg's ass as she and Lois scream in pain. As the ball hits Lois's leg.

"Stewie! If you can hear me, head for Meg's butt!" Lois said to Stewie into the TV to head for Meg's Butt.

"Have you lost your mind?!" Stewie said in distorted voice his answer sarcastically if they are out of their minds

"And, Lois, get ready to laugh. Get ready to laugh." Peter said from upstairs as he about to do something funny/

As Peter's head appears in Meg's butt.

"Gee, must've taken a wrong turn at Albuquerque! Hahahaha!" Peter says a reference to a Bugs Bunny catch phrase.

As John and Tyler appear in Meg's butt.

"GET OUT OF HERE, MAN!" John and Tyler shouted at peter's head as they drag him back inside the portal in Meg's ass.

Now the family plus Bruce are waiting in the living room for Stewie to return from the other side.

"Are you sure Stewie can find his way out?" Lois asked whispers to Bruce if this will work.

"We just got to be patient, Lois, like waiting on the results of a blood test, a real important blood test." Bruce said whispery back to Lois that they need to be patient.

"Will I ever see my baby brother again?" Chris whispery asked Bruce if he will see Stewie again.

"Only if he can find his way into the light, Chris. For some people, it's easier than others. Some people just get lost on the way to the light. They're walking along, they stop and say, "Ooh, is that a new restaurant?" "That place must've just opened up." Cause I remember there was another place there a few weeks ago. I went in there once and there was a guy with a harelip eating soup, and I was like, "Ew '" It wasn't the restaurant's fault, I know. But I still never went back there. I mean, I guess there's only, like, a one in 50 chance of me getting the same spoon that he had, but I still don't like them odds." Bruce explain to Chris it only easy to find their way back to the other side by a 50 to 50 chance.

As they waited for an hour until Lois couldn't wait anymore.

"Oh, I can't bear this anymore! If Stewie can't find his way out of Meg's ass, we have to enter the other realm and get him ourselves." Lois said as she decides to enter the other realm and get Stewie out.

"Lois, I told you it ain't safe." Bruce said to Lois that Trip into the other side is too dangerous.

"I'll tell you what not safe, going hunting with Dick Cheney." Peter said as he set up a cutaway about him going hunting with Dick Cheney.

 **Cutaway**

"So you all set to go hunting?" Peter said as D ick Cheney shoots him multiple times.

"Sorry, I thought you were a deer" Cheney said.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join Lois and peter near the portal of Frank Jr and Stewie's bedroom closet.

As Lois tide a rope around her belly so peter can pull her out just in case the trip goes wrong.

"Be careful, Lois." Peter said to Lois to be carful.

"I will, Peter." Lois said as she enter the portal.

Meanwhile downstairs with Meg and Persephone.

"I don't feel anything!" Meg shout upstairs about not feel her mother leave threw her ass yet.

This cause both Peter and Chris to smirk, While Persephone and Emily look piss at the boys.

"Now she knows how I felt when I was at her piano recital." Peter said a joke about he feel when he was at her piano recital.

"Hahahahaha!" Peter and Chris laughs at the joke which piss off the girls and Frank.

This cause Emily and Persephone kick both Peter and Chris in the balls.

"No, you're doing fine, Meg." Frank said as he calms his wife down.

Now back to the living room as Lois eventually rescue Stewie and they return form the other side from Meg's ass.

"Stewie, you're all right!" Lois said in relief and she hug her boy in her arms.

As the family the rest of the family rushes down stairs to greet Lois and Stewie.

"Oh, thank God you guys are…." Peter said as he is relive by their return.

Until Frank Jr interrupt him.

"Ew! You're covered in slime." Frank Jr said as he is gross out by them being cover in slime.

As both Lois and Stewie notice that they were cover in slime.

"Ugh! This must be how Tom Arnold felt on his wedding night." Stewie said as he feels like Tom Arnold felt on his wedding night.

That's until the spirits came out of Meg's ass and they ravage the Mallque/Griffin house

"Holy crap! Let's get out of here." Frank scream in horror.

As the family escapes their house from the poltergeist and they gets in the car.

While Frank in the driver seat, Lois notice someone was missing in their group.

"Wait a minute, where's Peter?" Lois asked Frank on where her husband.

"I don't know." Brian said his response.

"I didn't see him." Stewie said as he didn't see peter either.

"Me either and I was with Stewie when it happened." Frank Jr reply his response.

"I was getting a sandwich?" Tyler said as he was getting a sandwich before leave the house.

"Yeah, I kinda thought you guys would attend to that." Chris said as he thought Lois will handle peter since it's her thing.

"Yeah, I was help the twins escape since Meg was the portal." John reply his answer.

"Me two, I thought you had him." Persephone said as she expected Lois to be there for peter.

"Yeah mom, you're his keeper." Meg reply.

"Frank, you got to go back and get him!" Lois asked frank to return back into the house and get Peter out.

"Oh, yeah, right, like I'm going back for Pops." Frank said sarcastically.

"Frank!" Lois scream at him to go get peter but he didn't listen and yelled back.

"Mom, damn it, we all agreed, remember? If we could only save eight, we leave Pops." Frank said as they made an agreement that if they some of their family they leave peter to his fate.

"I know, but..." Lois said as she doesn't feel sure for leave Peter.

As Peter gets in the car; angrily at his family.

YOU BASTARDS! HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME IN THERE? Peter shouted at his family for leave him again like last time.

"Okay, see? It resolved itself." Frank said to Lois that the problem resolves itself.

As the Mallque/Griffins drive off until peter made Frank stop near a trash can.

"Oh, I forgot one thing." Peter said as he dumps the Native American skull in a garbage can.

As the family leaves, the Mallque/Griffin house vanishes into thin air. That's when Herbert and the tree monster who battled each other as they plunged to their presumed death in a previous sequence climb out of the hole where the house once stood.

"So, no hard feelings?" Herbert said to the tree.

As Herbert and the tree monster make up for fighting

"No, no, let's just put it all behind us." The tree said as they are good now.

"You wanna come over for some tea and cookies?" Herbert said as he invites the monster to his house for tea and cookies.

"Sure." The tree said as he accepts the invitation.

As they walk toward Herbert's house Herbert ask something to the tree.

"Are you a giving tree or a receiving tree?" Herbert asked as his line is a reference to the children's book The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein. As the Scene fades to black

Now the scene changes to quahog 5 news special report with Tom tucker and Diane Simmons

A bit of breaking news, a local family is forced out of their home by ghosts! Who are they gonna call? Tom:

"Sighs, Ghostbusters, Tom?" Diane said as she sighs her answer to tom.

"No, Diane. Their insurance company. That's just stupid what you said. And now back to Disney's Too Many Ostriches starring Don Knotts." Tom said as he insults Diane and now turn the TV program to a movie with Don Knotts.

As we see Don Knotts complaining about the number of ostriches with him in the scene

There's way too many ostriches. Why there's so many ostriches? The brochure said there'd only be a few ostriches. This is a terrible vacation! Don Knotts said complaining about the number of ostriches with him.

Now we join the family at Spooner Street at night as Peter knock the door of quagmire house.

"So what was it like on the other side?" Brian asked Stewie on what it was like in the other side.

"It was alright. I met Jesus." Stewie said as he tell him that he met Jesus.

This made John, Tyler and Frank Jr react surprised by that news.

"Oh, what's he like?" Brian asked him on what's Jesus like.

"Believe it or not he's Chinese." Stewie said as he tells him that Jesus is Chinese.

"Oh, really." Brian said it in a bored toned as Brian and the boys lost interest

"Yeah, and his last name is Hong, Jesus Hong. He said he doesn't know where everyone got Christ." Stewie said as Jesus last name was Hong.

As Quagmire answer the door and he was dress in baby clothing.

"Quagmire, you got to help us. We pissed off a bunch of ghosts, and now our house is gone and we got no place to stay." Peter explain what happened to them and he asked if they can stay with him for a few days.

"Uh, Peter, this isn't the best time." Quagmire said as he feel they came at the wrong time.

"Glenn, are you coming?" A women reply from inside quagmire house.

"Yeah, honey, I'll be right there." Quagmire said his reply to the lady in his house.

"Peter, I'm really slammed right now. Can you give me the short version?" Quagmire asked him on what the short version of his story is since he is doing something right now.

As the family looks at quagmire in question on what he is doing in his house?

"Uh, what, uh - What's going on in there?" Frank asked quagmire on what happing in his house.

"Nothing." Quagmire reply as from inside of his house, a lady in a judges wig rides a donkey in her underwear plus bra. Then a naked farmer in his law mover drive bye.

"As you can see, my family is here and it's game night. We're playing...sex." Quagmire said as his family is over and they are playing sex.

Then quagmire slam the door behind and the scene fade to black again.

Now we join the family at the quahog soup kitchen since they have now were to go now.

"Ugh, a soup kitchen, Dad? Isn't there any other place we can go?" Meg said as she complain that they shouldn't be here.

"We're homeless, Meg. This is where homeless people go." Peter explains to Meg that they are homeless now and this is where homeless people go.

"Well, it'll just be good to get some food in us." Frank said as he and his family are hungry.

As a homeless waitress come to them with food menus.

"Hi, welcome to the soup kitchen. I'll just start you off with this basket of pizza crusts and apple cores. Oh, and we do have one special today. It's an avocado pit with a little bit of avocado still on it, and that comes on a ripped pair of boxer shorts." The Homeless waitress explains what they got and todays specials.

"Now, I'm trying to decide between the tossed spaghetti on a newspaper and the half yogurt with the balled-up tissue in it." Frank Jr asked her if he would try to decide between the tossed spaghetti on a newspaper and the half yogurt with the balled-up tissue in it.

Now we join the family at the quahog public library as they are researching away to get their house back.

"Hi, there. Do you have any books on how to get rid of ghosts?" Frank asked the librarian for any books on how to get rid of ghosts.

"Have you tried telling them you're ready for a commitment?" The librarian said a joke about commitment

"Like a relationship." Stewie said as he finish the joke.

"Exactly. That'll send them running, huh?" The librarian reply to the joke as she laughs.

"Ohoho, I like her." Frank Jr said as he like this lady librarian.

"Here you go. Maybe this'll help." The library lady said as she passes a book to the family.

"All right, here it is. "To vanquish poltergeists, one must restore all disturbed remains" "to their original resting places." Brian said as he reads how to get rid of ghost is to return to skull back in their dirt.

"So, all we got to do is bring the skull back home and bury it." Emily said as they realize they need to find the skull.

As Brian turns to Peter and he cup peter's crotch.

"What are you doing?" Peter asked Brian on why he cupping his crotch.

"You said you were using the skull as an athletic cup." Brian reply as he trying to find the skull inside the pants.

"I was, but don't you remember, I threw it in the garbage?" Peter explain that he threw the skull in the garbage.

"So, you're not wearing it now?" Brian finds out that Peter wasn't wearing the Indian skull as an athletic cup

"No. That's, uh, pretty much just me you're grabbing." Peter says that Brian grabbing his crotch.

"That's how my old scoutmaster shakes hands." Chris adding that his old Scoutmaster greeted him that way

"Boy, this is more awkward than that threesome when the girl didn't show up." Peter said as he set up a cutaway about himself having a threesome where the girl doesn't show up.

 **Cutaway**

As the scene shows Peter and an unnamed man waiting in bed for the girl.

"So, uh, you definitely left her a voice mail?" Peter asked an unnamed man.

"Yeah two. Home and cell." an unnamed man said his response.

Oh, good, you got the cell, too. Okay, I was – I was gonna say. Peter raply his response as they both wait for the girl.

 **Cutaway end**

Now join the Mallque/Griffin family searching through the city dump for the skull.

As Stewie and Frank Jr look through the garbage until they notice Brian rolling around in the garbage.

"Ew, that is vile." Stewie said as he gross out by Brian's behavior.

"I know, I hate myself, but it's so good." Brian said as he continues to roll in the filth

That's when a garbage man came by next to the family and He ask them something.

"Can I help you folks find something?" The garbage man asked the family if he can help them find something.

"No, we're just browsing." John said as he responded to the garbage man's question.

"God, I hate it when they pester you like that." Peter said to Lois as he hates people pestering them.

This piss off Lois and Emily, Then Emily smack him on the head.

"Peter! Yes, we need help." Lois shouted at him and she asked the garbage man for help.

"We're looking for a skull that my Father threw away." Emily explain that they need to find the skull that peter threw away.

"A skull, huh? Then you want the human remains bin. But I should warn you folks, we're pretty cleaned out right now, 'cause Carrot Top comes by every morning to rummage for new props." The garbage man tells them that the skull would be in the human remains bin, but it was cleaned out by Carrot Top for things to use as props.

"Well, then we'll just have to pay this Carrot Top a visit." Frank said as he and the family now know where to look next.

"He's funny. Except for that one show he did in Ohio after the airline lost his luggage." Emily said as she set up a cutaway about Carrot tops show in Ohio.

 **Cutaway**

"Ladies and gentlemen, Carrot Top!" someone announced as Carrot Top arrived on stage.

"All right, you guys look like a good crowd! I hope it goes well, 'cause I don't have my prop trunk. I normally have, like, a case with all my... little props and gadgets and what not, but... it's okay, you can use your imagination, like maybe a piece of luggage, that shoots dog biscuits, so, like, if you had, like, weed in your bag and you went to the airport, you could shoot the dog biscuits out, and then, the drug dog would be... would go away from your bags, kind of... if you can imagine the dog... the dog... Man, it's a lot funnier if I had my prop" Carrot Top entertained.

 **Cutaway Ends**

They go to Carrot Top's mansion which is the home of comedian Carrot Top.

"Well, there it is, Carrot Top Manor." Lois reply as they look how big the mansion is.

As they park their car in front of the door of the manor, peter opened the door to reveal carrot top siting on a throne as he is using the skull as a comedy prop while he was fan by bikini babes.

"So, you having a good time there, Chief Diamond Phillips?" Carrot Top aske the skull if he is having a good time.

"Oh, that's funny, he came up with the same thing that…" peter said as he realized that carrot top came up with the same thing he did in the house with the skull.

That's until Emily interrupt him and she went up to carrot top.

"All right, Carrot Top! - I want that skull." Emily said as she demand the skull back.

"Who the hell are you?" Carrot Top asked them on who they are.

"I'm Emily Griffin, and that skull belongs to me." Emily said as she introduces herself to carrot top and she demand the skull back to them.

"Well, it's hardly just a skull, Ms. Griffin. I put it on my head, and it's a skull cap!" Carrot Top said as he tells some prop jokes that were quite funny.

"Hahahaha!" Peter, John and Tyler laugh at the joke.

"Put it with David Duchovny, and it's Agent Skully." Carrot Top said some more jokes to the family.

"Hahahaha!" Peter, John and Tyler laugh again by his jokes.

"You got to appreciate that…" peter said Emily that they need to appreciate his joke for being so god dame funny.

Until Emily realized that they are being distracted.

"Hey, don't distract me or my dad. Now, hand it over, Mr. Top." Emily said as she demand the skull to be return to them now.

"Very well, Ms. Griffin, I'll give you the skull, but you have to catch me first!" Carrot Top said as he run away into a bookcase with a hidden room.

As both Emily and Peter chase carrot top through a hall of mirrors. Which shows a reflection of carrot top in each mirror.

"Looks like you found me, . But which one of us is the real king of prop comedy and not just an illusion, huh?" Carrot Top asked Emily on which mirror hold the real carrot top?

As Emily move towards one of the tops.

"That's right, Ms. Griffin, just a little further. Sucker." Carrot Top said as he sets a trap that sends both Emily and Peter to a bottom floor

As Carrot top trick them into a trap floor and as he return back to his hallway, until he was jump by Emily and she grab the skull from his hands.

"What the hell? How'd you get through the trap door?!" Carrot Top asked her on how she and her father escape his trap door.

"I found this saw with glasses on it." Emily said as she takes out a saw with glasses on it from her back.

"Oh, that's my see-saw." Carrot Top said the name of the item in Emily's hand.

"Hahahaha!" Peter, john and Tyler laugh again by his jokes.

"Oh, my God! Oh, my God! You are so fucking funny!" John said as he fall on the floor laughing by that joke.

"You are so asshole you for being so funny!" Tyler said as he piss himself by that joke.

"Oh, my God! Oh, God. You know what? Here, here, just, you know what? Keep it. Keep it. You deserve it." Just take it. Peter said as he gives him back the skull for being too funny to them.

Until Emily come back and takes the skull off carrot top's hands.

"No, no, I need it. I need it." Emily said as she join her family the skull in hand.

As we join the family back at the remains of their house. They retrieve the skull and rebury it.

"Well, Chief, time for you to go back where you came from." Emily said as they getting back their house from the ghost.

"Emily, you did it." Lois said to Emily in congratulation for getting the skull back.

As they were about to enter their house, it get suck back into the ghost world again.

"What the hell?" Emily said as she turn around to see peter playing with the skull by puking his eyes.

"Hehehehehe!" Peter giggle play with the skull eye sockets

"Put it back, you dick!" Frank Jr shouted as he slap the skull off peter's hands and it fall back into it hole thus the ghost return back the house at last.

"Oh, Emily, I'm so proud of you. Once again, you brought our family to the edge of the abyss, and at the very last minute, you saved us all." Lois said as she congratulates Emily for a job well done.

"I love you, Emily." Meg said as she hug her sister for saving their home.

"And I've grown fond of the two of you, Meg and Mom." Emily said as she grown used to this family now.

"Let's go home." Peter said as their returning life to normal.

The chapter's closing scene spoofs the closing scene of Poltergeist, with Lois pushing the television outside the front door but Peter taking the television back inside and replacing it with Meg. Then Frank taking Meg back inside and replacing it with Peter and Lois.

 **Chapter end**


	28. Chapter 77:Griffin Family History

**Chapter 77: Untitled Griffin Family History**

 **Narrator** _  
_ _Fresh out the net box  
Stop, look, and watch  
Ready yet, get set  
It's Family Guy!_

We see paparazzi taking photos of the cast as they come out of the limo and they walk on the red carpet.

 **Chorus:** _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

First it show Frank waling out of the limo with a poster with the words "oh" and he poses for the camera.

Then its shows Meg comes in looking all sexy as she signs autographs while she winks at the fans.

Then it turn to Lois comes in hopping while grabbing rose as she gives a kiss toward the fans.

 **Chorus:** _Check it, check it, check it  
Now this is just an introduction  
Before I blow your mind  
The show is All of That and yes we do it all the time_

Then it shows Frank Jr poses as he pull his hat down his chest as he throws a rose to the Fans.

Then next person to show up on the carpet is Stewie. As he flips his hat back to his head while he give autographs to fans.

Then Brian comes in sliding on the red carpet as he waves at the fan as he walks in _._

 **Chorus:** _So sit your booty on the floor or in a chair  
Ground or in the air  
Just don't go nowhere_

Then Emily comes in give autographs as she smiles at the fans as she tells one of her fans to call her.

Then the scene shows Persephone puts a rose on her mouth with a sexy angry look on her face.

 **Chorus:** _Cause everything we do  
It's all of that!  
When entertaining you  
We all of that!_

Then Chris shimming down the carp as he gives the fan a shout out.

Then Peter slide towards the carpet as he flips his hat back on his head.

 **Chorus:** _My posse and my crew  
It's all of that!  
So sit still cause we're coming right back_

Then the scene shows John throws a rose at his fans.

As the scene, changes to Tyler puts on rose his mouth as he gives everyone thumbs up.

 **Chorus:** _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

Then scene change to the Family Guy MC Cast walks down the stairs as they take a group photo while looking gangsters of the 80. All this while music ends as the scene fades to black.

Now we now join Frank Jr and Peter in the Griffin parent's room as they watch TV. Just then, Lois come out from the bathroom and she walk towards them.

"Peter, did you brush your teeth?" Lois asked him if he brush his teeth.

"Nah." Peter reply while he watch TV on his side of the bed.

"Peter, brush your teeth." Lois responded to him to do what she said.

"I don't want to." Peter reply no like a child.

"Peter, brush your teeth." Lois asked him again to brush his teeth.

"No, it's stupid." Peter said as he tells her no and he thinks it's stupid.

"Well, I guess we're going to have to do this the hard way." Lois said as she pulls out a toothbrush.

"No!" Peter shouted until Lois jump on the bed with a toothbrush.

As Lois is trying to get Peter to brush his teeth

"Open your mouth. Show me your teeth!" Lois shouts at peter to submit to her command.

"Aaaaaaah!" Peter scream at her to get off of him.

That's when they hear a noise coming from downstairs.

"Peter, did you hear that?" Lois asked peter about the noise.

As Frank Jr and Peter looks downstairs and find three robbers in balaclavas.

"Oh, my God, there are men breaking into our house." Lois said in fear.

The whole family wakes up as both Meg and Frank went toward Peter to ask him something.

"Dad, what is it? What's going on?" Meg asked him on what happing inside the house.

"I heard a noise. Is somebody downstairs?" Frank asked as well the same question.

As both Frank and Meg startles Peter, and in a delayed response, he hits her in the head with the baseball bat he was carrying.

"Oh, God, Meg, you startled me. I'm sorry." Peter said as he apologies to her daughter since she startled him.

What the hell's your problem, you dumbass? Meg shouted in pain from being hit by a bat.

As both Frank and Frank Jr were angry with peter for he did to Meg, response, Frank Jr hits her in the head with the same baseball bat that peter was carrying. Plus Frank kick him in the balls twice.

"Oh, God, Grandpa, you startled me. I'm sorry." Frank Jr said as he lied to his grandpa because he doesn't like his grandpa hurt his mommy.

"What the deuce is all the commotion?" Stewie asked his nephew on what going on inside the house.

That when Frank open the ladder to the attic.

"Quick, everyone get in the attic." Frank said as he tells them to come up toward the attic to be safe.

As the family went upstairs of the attic, they notice a metal box was here in the attic.

"Peter, what is that?"Brian said as the scene pan left to a panic room

"Well, I got the idea to build a panic room after I saw that movie, _The Butterfly Effect_. I thought, "Whoa, this is terrible. I wish I could escape where this movie couldn't find me." And then..." Peter explain he got this panic room from being scared of the movie, _The Butterfly Effect_.

That's until Lois interrupt him.

"What the hell are we waiting for?!" Lois said as she rushes into the panic room.

The whole family then flee to Peter's panic room. It is a small steel room with boxes and TV monitors that can be used to watch every room in the house.

"These monitors are for watching the house." Frank explain about the monitors.

"See, there's Frank Jr and Stewie's room, John and Tyler's room, Chris' room, Emily's room, Frank and Meg's room…" Peter explain which room they are watch in each screen.

As the boys notice this room lacks something for call help from the outside.

"Mr. Griffin, there's no phone in here." John said as he know that there is no phone in this room.

"How are we going to call the police, Mr. Griffin?" Tyler asked Peter on how they are going to call the police.

"Oh, my God, we're all going to die!" Meg shouted in fear and she rushes toward her sister for a fear hug.

"That's not true. We'll survive by eating each other. But I think it's important for the last one of us left alive to know this story. The story of the Mallque and Griffin family history." Peter said as he decides to tell stories about the Mallque/ Griffin family history.

That's until Frank patted Peter on the back.

" _ **Then let me tell it Pops, Here's how it all began. Everything started with me flouting in nonexistence with God. As we making ideas for after starting the big bang.**_ __ _ **But it was a Saturday night, me and God and his roommate Chugs were arm wrestling."**_ Frank explains these stories begin with the big bang.

Which the scene shows Frank with God in the void with their roommate chugs arm wrestling.

"You're going down, man." Chugs said as he was about to win the contest.

That's when God farted and he wafting the fart towards Chugs.

"Oh, dude, that is sick." Chugs said in disgusted as the fart putting him off.

That when God As quick as flash, he beat Chugs in a game of arm-wrestling

"Undefeated!" God said as he won by fart.

"Good one, god!" Frank said as he is fanning the fart away from his face.

Until God gotten an idea from using his fart.

"Oh, wait, wait, here comes another one. Quick, give me your lighter." God said as he felt another one coming, and asked Chugs for his lighter.

As God is using the lighter, God lit his fart, causing the "Big Bang" which created the universe.

"Ah, you guys smell that?" God said as he look at Frank's expression which show him looking awe at something behind him.

This cause both god and chugs to turn around to see the universe that was created by god's fart.

"Wow, we just created the universe by God's fart, Man nobody goanna believe this?" Frank said out loud.

Then we zoom in on the earth B.C age as the dinosaurs were evolving.

" _ **Then over millions of years evolution took its course."**_ Frank said as then scene shows a fish come out to land then it turn to a lizard, and finally a brachiosaurus with peter's chin.

" _ **Of course, we're obligated by the State of Kansas to present the church's alternative to the theory of evolution."**_ Peter explaining evolution he is obligated to present the church's alternative theory due to the state of Kansas.

As The Christian theory features Jeannie from _I Dream of Jeannie_ appearing from the water creating the different species of animals. A rabbit appear, then deer, then bear, then an owl appear on the deer's antlers, then a dog, then a man, then a car, then a gasoline machine appear then Jesus appear with a number one foam finger in his right head and finally Santa clause appear and they all dance with Jennie as it ends.

" _ **And the noblest of all those early creatures was the dinosaur, because I was there with a particular group of brachiosaurus**_ **."** Frank explain about the early creature of the earth, the dinosaurs.

The scene show a brachiosaurus version of the Griffin family with Frank on top the dinosaur version of Meg Griffin. He is in Kung Fu black Jacket Tai Chi and Martial Art Tops plus black pants. He wears Black Rubber Sole Kung Fu Tai Chi Shoes, He also wears a silver cloth with symbols of harmony.

"Hey, Lois. I'm gonna go nail a couple of dinosaurs in the next valley." Peter said to his mate Lois about his plans to go nail a couple of dinosaurs in the next valley

"Peter, that's terrible!" Lois said in shocked

"Hey, I don't know any better. I'm a dinosaur. I don't have morals." Peter said as he explain to his mate that he has no moral since he is a dinosaur.

That's when a tyrannosaurus rex that looks like John comes by.

"Like me and frank relationship with your daughters." John reply as Frank and brachiosaurus Meg shrugged off.

That's when Frank Jr paused the story for a question.

"Wait dad, you were married to a female dinosaur?" Frank Jr asked his father about his time in the B.C era.

"That's right, I was with a Female brachiosaurus. I don't care what you guys think. That Dino Vag is Smoother than Corinthian Leather. "Frank explain that he had no human in that era since it just dinosaurs.

 **Now back to the story as Frank notice another dinosaur is come toward them.**

"Hey a Herpesaur." Frank said as he notice Herpesaur coming by.

As he is a species of dinosaur that it bears a strong resemblance to Quahog, Rhode Island resident Glenn Quagmire.

As He walks up to a brachiosaurus resembling Peter Griffin

"Hey Peter, does your tail itch." Herpesaur Quagmire asks if Peter's tail itches.

Then the scene change to a meteor hit the Earth turning it into ice age for many months, but then it thawed and came the Paleolithic Age.

" _ **After that, a meteor hit the Earth turning it into a block of ice for some reason, but then it thawed and cavemen came."**_ Peter narrated his family history staring his caveman ancestor Ur-Peter.

We now see a cave like version of the Mallque/Griffin house. In the backyard we see Gorubunk and Ur-Stewie (caveman versions of Frank Jr and Stewie) go through their stone-carved blueprints in the backyard.

The Scene opens up at night, then goes to daytime, showing the subtitles "27,000 BC".

As Ur-Stewie chisels on a stone and give it to Gorubunk

"Hmm? Nei." Gorubunk said as his exams it then throws it toward his pet

 _As_ GorubunkGrinding and he Looks at another stone.

"Hmm? Nei." Gorubunk said as his exams it then he throws it in Ur-Brian's mouth

"Ah? Nei.' Gorubunk said as his exams it then throws it toward his pet

The Scene pans to Ur-Brian, who grinds another stone. A squirrel rolls by balancing on a nut).

"Ur-Stewie?" Gorubunk asked if he got something.

As Ur-Stewie shows a stone.

"Ah!" Gorubunk said as the Camera pans to the stone with a picture of a wheel.

"Oh whaa!" Gorubunk said in cave speak of a wheel.

That's when Korrlock enters yard as she looks like Young Korra from legend of korra

"Mei Gorubunk! Whakka chuka'?" Korrlock asked him on what he is doing.

"Mei Korrlock, Ur-Stewie n mi maka du whaa." Gorubunk explain that he and Ur-Stewie are goanna make a wheel.

"Oh, a whaa." Korrlock said in awe about the wheel.

As Chrisgard walk in While he dragging Johnug and Tylerger in.

"Mei gah!" Chrisgard said hello to the kids.

"Hehehehe!"Johnug and Tylerger laughs as they drag in by Chrisgard.

"Mei Chrisgard, Johnug n Tylerger." Gorubunk said hello to his friends.

"Whakka chuka'?" Chrisgard asked the same question that Korrlock said and she gets piss off.

"Chrisgard!" Korrlock shouted at Chrisgard for stealing her shtick.

This cause Chrisgard laughs nervously

Then we cut to the panic room showing Frank and Griffin Family in stop motion.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. So—so they're just gonna be talking in "cave-talk"?" Lois explains that all of the characters will speak in a nearly incomprehensible cave-talk

"Yeah! I think Ur-Peter is just gonna grunt." Peter explain that Ur-Peter will just grunt.

"Oh—How are the readers gonna know what's going on?" Meg asked them on how the people gonna know what's going on

"Oh—Periodically we're just gonna cut to you and me, just explaining it just like this in this sort of photo-animation." Frank explain the premise in a low budget live-action photo animation when needed, so the audience won't get confused.

"Wh—Why don't we just film it? Live action?" Chris asked on not used live action.

"Nah, it's not the budget." Peter reply his answer.

"Ah, yeah. How are the kids gonna know who we are?" Emily asked the family How are the kids gonna know who we are

As Text bubbles appear with arrows pointing to Frank and Griffin Family, showing their names

Now back to the story as a caveman pushes in a delivery of rock slabs for Gorubunk and Ur-Stewie.

"Ugga bugga bajunga ba googoo googa di whaaa?" Caveman asked them if they are too young to invent a wheel for man kind

"Ah. Ah giar." Gorubunk said yes, yes we are.

"Eh." Caveman said as he shuggs it off.

As Frank, Ur-Frank and Ur-Peter gets ready to go hunting

"Ah bu ga bu dar." Ur-Peter said Ur-Lois and Ur-Peter said good bye by sniff each other's armpits before they goes out to hunt.

"Ah bu ga bu dar. Dan doo par gu spar." Ur-Lois said as she give him his pear for the hunt.

"Shank oo dar." Ur-Peter said as both Frank and Ur- Frank nodded in agreement

"Bakoo ar!" Ur-Peter said bye to his wife while Ur-Frank French Ur-meg and he follows Ur-Peter with Frank.

"Bakoo ar!" Ur-Lois said as she and Ur-Meg wave goodbye to them.

As Ur-Lois unbends her back. She walks to a mirror and sees her hair

"Chakka lakka! Ur-Emily? Igga raba oh." Ur-Lois said as she notices her messy hair in the mirror, she and Ur-Meg both decides to go to Bobbi's to get it done. She then called Ur-Emily.

As Ur-Meg gets he Mother's staff

"Mom! Moag! Ur-Emily ta charga?" Ur-Emily asked her if she can be in charge.

"Ah, Ur-Emily. Yar ta charga." Ur-Lois putting Ur-Emily in charge by presenting her with a staff as she leaves.

As Ur-Lois Gives Ur-Emily the staff

"Essu!" Ur-Emily said yes in cave speak

"Ah quag." Ur-Lois said as she and Meg wave goof as they leave the cave.

"Ah quag, Mag!" Ur-Emily said as she wave them goodbye.

Then she looks at the staff

"Ur-Emily in charga." Ur-Emily said as she gives an evil laughing.

Meanwhile Outside the backyard.

"Gorubunk de Ur-Stewie! Ur-Emily ta charga!" Ur-Emily tells Gorubunk and Ur-Stewie that she's in charge

"Ur-Emily in charga? Du mhakka satellakkah?" Gorubunk said in question Ur-Emily in charga, What if a satellite falls out of orbit and crashes into the house?

This cause Ur-Emily growls by that comment.

She walks into the house, slams the door and peeks out the window. She goes to the rock recliner and talks to Cindy via drumming on a hollow log.

Then the scene changes to Cindy replies by playing a drum beat back.

 **(Song: "Quirky Worky Song" (Caveman Version))**  
 _Suity-up, booty-up, diddly-deedly-da Suity-up, booty-up, diddly-deedly-da Suity-up, booty-up, diddly-deedly-da  
Do-da be-de-da, da-da, da-da-da_

As Chrisgard, Johnug, Tylerger and Korrlock salute, and chop a giant block, revealing a smaller block. Gorubunk tells them to make the wheel out of it, and Chrisgard, Johnug, Tylerger and Korrlock salute. They make the shape, forming a hole in the stone.

Now Back to Frank and Mallque/Griffin's bunker.

"You know what? I think you're right. This was a bad idea." Frank decides that the caveman episode was a bad idea

"No, no, no, no... This is starting to work. This is really good." Meg said as she become interested.

"Really?" Frank asked on why thou.

"Yeah. Get, get up, get up, get out of the way! Give me the pen. So Gorubunk and Ur-Stewie have already invented the wheel and are getting ready to show their friends..." Meg said as she takes over and Meg explains to Frank that Gorubunk and Ur-Stewie had completed their design of the wheel, and present it to their friends.

That scene change to Gorubunk reveals a wheel-shaped rock.

"Ta-da!" Gorubunk said as he introduce the Wheel to his Friends.

"Ta-da?" Chrisgardsaid as he scratching his head, confused

"Ah, ta-da!" Gorubunksaid as He hums as he rolls with his wheel. He stops at Chrisgardand gets off.

"Ta-da!" Gorubunk said as he show the wheel to Chrisgard.

As Chrisgardpicks up the wheel and he looks at Gorubunk.

"Ah?" Gorubunk said as he jester Chrisgard to use the wheel.

Then Chrisgardputs the wheel on Tylerger.

"Ta-da." Chrisgard said as he present Tylerger with the wheel on him.

Meanwhile inside the house/cave, Ur-Emily is still drumming on the hollow log. Gorubunk is seen through the window rolling with his wheel.

"Oauh!" Ur-Emily said in groun as she walks outside.

"Gorubunkde Ur-Stewie, gu bagga dadada!" Ur-Emily shouts at the boys in question on what they are doing in the backyard.

As The kids, except Gorubunk and Chrisgard, are seen rolling with their wheels.

"Mei, Ur-Emily, ti makka whaa!" Gorubunk said as he tells her that he and Ur-stewie invented a wheel.

"De whaa?" Ur-Emily asked as she notices them playing with their wheels outside

As the scene changes to Chrisgard hits himself on the head with his own wheel and laughs.

"Hahaha, Du whaa!" Chrisgard said as he laughs from hitting himself with the wheel.

"Gorubunk da Ur-Stewie, du go gunga busta! Mi tele Mag!' Ur-Emily said as she told them that she will inform this to Ur-Lois.

"Mag!" Ur-Emily Calls out and she runs off to inform Ur-Lois.

This cause Gorubunk to notice something with him and his friends.

"Daa! Daa! Daa!" GorubunkPoints and commands each of the others, who are riding their own wheels to stop.

As The Six children end up in a rectangular plan form.

"Ur-Stewie, tu kanga machia du kanga!" Gorubunk said as he realizes that the four wheels can be put together to pull a single vehicle.

"Wa tu kanga?" Tylerger asked on what is he planning.

"Ur-Stewie?" Gorubunk asked him if he has something. As Ur-Stewie displays a small tablet inscribed with what appears to be a Humvee design.

"Ah! Tu kanga!" Gorubunk said as he has to create a car.

As the children decide to construct one.

Meanwhile at Bobbi's Hair Emporium we see Bobbi fixing Ur-Lois hair while another person fix Ur-Meg Hair.

That's until Ur-Emily arrives and talk to her mother and sister.

"Mag! Gorubunk da Ur-Stewie gunga bunga doo whaa! Doo whaa! Doo whaa! _(Pause)_ DOO WHAA!" Ur-Emily inform her about the wheel.

"Daa whaa?" Bobbi said in question on what she talking about?

"Nei Ur-Emily, lakka whakka." Ur-Lois asked her that isn't the boys too young to invent this wheel.

"Geeer! **"** Ur-Emily Growls by her response as she leaves.

This cause Ur-Meg, Ur-Lois and bobbi to look at her walking away with bored look.

"Ur-Emily, uh, enthusilakkah." Bobbi said as he think Ur-Emily is a bit crazy.

"Ur-Emily, bunka lunka." Ur-Lois said her response.

Cut to Ur-Emily walking home.

As Ur-Emily walks home, disappointed that Ur-Lois would not listen to her

"Ur-Emily ni ta charga. Mag neega lunga Ur-Emily Mag." Ur-Emily said as she Notices a Humvee.

The camera zooms out of a wheel, switches to Ur-Stewie, who's driving, Gorubunk, Johnug Tylerger, korralock as passengers, and Chrisgard is running on its back wheel. As they ride, the kids shout)

"Gorubunk de Ur-Stewie!" Ur-Emily said as she runs after it.

At a glacier she notices Jackbunk, the ancestor of jack Murdock.

"Mei Ur-Emily." Jackbunk said hello to Ur-Emily

"Hihihihi, Mei Jackbunk." Ur-Emily Giggles by his hello like a school girl

As The kids ride by Conk the caveman.

"Hahahaha, Gorubunk de Ur-Stewie!" Conk said as he Laughs and cheers them on for their invention.

As The camera zooms out, noticing his foot stuck in the glacier.

"Ah! Banggah." Conk said as he realized know that he be frozen in time.

At a jungle, Ur-Emily runs through the bushes, and comes out with Emily's hairstyle. She notices it, messes it up and continues running.

As The kids are riding by a leafless tree with two vultures, a small one and a big one. Then a big vulture notices Ur-Emily, flies after her and grabs her.

"Eheeeeee!" Ur-Emily screaming as she being carried away.

The vulture flies to the volcano, as the kids are shouting down below. Ur-Emily looks down at the Humvee, then at the Vulture. She hits it with the staff.

"Aieeeeeee!" Ur-Emily Screams as she falls to the ground.

As she Lands on a tree, slides down it, breaking it's branches and slides down the volcano. As she stops, the rock on the staff is in the lava.

"Huh?" Ur-Emily said in question on her survival

As The kids below are still riding in the Humvee.

"Oh! Gorubunk de Ur-Stewie! Ur-Emily busta Gorubunk de Ur-Stewie!" Ur-Emily said as she picks up the staff, noticing steam billowing from the rock.

"Shtok smoke il lakka?" Ur-Emily said as she grabs the steam and let's go of it.

That's until Ur-Emily hear someone calling her.

"Ah?" Ur-Emily said question of who is calling her. Then she spot her mother, Ur-Lois walking by.

"Ur-Emily!" Ur-Lois calling her as walking.

"Gasps!" Ur-Emily said as she gasps from her mother calling her.

"Mag!" Ur-Emily said as she Notices Ur-Lois, then the kids and the Humvee.

"Mag busta Gorubunk de Ur-Stewie!" Ur-Emily Said as she runs down the mountain.

Then she starts running towards Ur-Lois.

"Mag! Mag!" Ur-Emily calling her.

Now we cut to Ur-Peter as he going to prank.

"Hehehehehe!" Ur-Peter Laughs as he starts a prank with the mammoths butt.

As Ur-Peter puts down a ladder, climbs it, and sticks his branch into a mammoth's butt. Instead of stampeding the house nearby, the mammoth growls, turns around and glares at Ur-Peter for several moments; Ur-Peter laughs sheepishly and runs off as the mammoths stampede after him.

As for Ur-Emily, she catches up with Ur-Lois.

"Mog! Gorubunk de Ur-Stewie makka du kanga!" Ur-Emily said as she grab her mother and she drag her toward the kids and their invention.

"Du kanga?" Ur-Lois said in question as she being drag by her daughter.

That until Ur-Peter runs by past Gorubunk and Ur-Stewie, followed by the mammoths. Ur-Peter runs over the Humvee, but the mammoths destroy it. It was completely crushing it before Ur-Lois can see it.

As Ur-Emily and Ur-LoisCoughing as the smoke is gone.

"Mog, butta!" Ur-Emily said until she notices that the Humvee is broken

Nei! Ur-Emily shouted in disappointment and she runs up to it.

Nei, nei, nei, nei! Ur-Emily shouted in sadness.

As Gorubunk notice his grandma came by with Ur-Emily.

"Oh, mei, GrandMag." Gorubunk said hello to his grandma.

"Mei, Gorubunk, mei, Ur-Stewie." Ur-Lois said hello to her kids.

"Nein!" Ur-Emily said in anger as she waves her staff in frustration, and it suddenly, the end of Ur-Emily's staff sparks and grows a flame on it.

"Wow. Ur-Emily makka ze foomfa!" Gorubunk said in awe that Ur-Emily just invented Fire.

"Foomfa?" Ur-Emily asked about her creation.

"Ur-Emily makka foomfa!" Ur-Lois said in awe as she is proud of her daughter for her invention.

This cause Ur-Emily to smile by that comment.

"Ah, Ur-Emily makka foomfa!" Ur-Emily said as she holds the staff high proudly.

"Ur-Emily ta charga." Ur-Meg said her catchphrase.

That night, everyone is around Ur-Emily's fire enjoying it

"So, Ur-Emily makka foomfa." Ur-Peter asked them that his daughter really made fire.

"Eh, foomfa, kookalaka." Jackbunk said as he is proud of his girlfriend.

"Hihihihihi, Jerabunk." Ur-Emily said as she laughing as she is happy that Jackbunk is here with her

Now we see the kids enjoying the fire that Ur-Emily has created.

"Ur-Emily makka foomfa!" Korralock said that Ur-Emily invention is awesome.

As Johnug and Tylerger sees Ur-Brian

"Bakida, Ur-Briankaquan!" Johnug said "there you are Brian?".

Now, we turn to Frank, Gorubunk and Ur-Stewie. As Gorubunk eats a marshmallow, they talk to each other.

"I guess we should wait until tomorrow before we tell them about the new language frank has taught us." Ur-Stewie speaks English as he tells Gorubunk that they should wait until tomorrow before they both tell them about the new language frank has taught them

"Yes, yes we should." Gorubunk reply to Ur-Stewie response.

"Eyep!" Frank said as he eat a piece of meat.

Now its morning as Peter's ancestor come home to his cave, he meet up with his dog Brian and his friend Frank who was wearing silver clothing and shoes as Ur-Peter look sad for some reason.

"Why Peter look sad?" Brian asked him on why he is said

"Brian, Peter invent wheel. Peter show wheel to people in town, but no one want wheel. Everyone excited about trapezoid. No one buy wheel." Ur-Peter reply as it reveal that He invented the wheel, but had trouble selling it at the start because everyone was more interested in the trapezoid.

This caused both Frank and Ur-Brian look at him at awe and also cause both Ur-Stewie and Gorubunk to get peeved since they invited the wheel yesterday.

"Peter, you invent wheel? This is a big breakthrough, this might make you a millionaire." Frank said in awe that he invent the wheel.

"Then how come no one buy Peter wheel?" Ur-Peter asked his friend on why the other cavemen don't want to buy his wheel.

"Maybe Your sales pitch was not good enough. Me and Brian will help." Frank said as he feel that Ur-Peter sales pitch was not good enough, so he decide to help him with Ur-Brian's help.

Now we are in stone-age square with our character's trying to sell the wheel.

"Okay, sell wheel just like practice." Ur-Brian said to peter to get ready.

"Not sure can do it." Ur-Peter said that he not ready yet.

"You sold money. Don't know it." Frank said his response as he pushes Ur-Peter to the stage.

As Ur-Peter shows the wheel he invented to a crowd of cavemen.

"Hi, me Peter. Tired walking everyplace? Need something make you go? Peter wheel make you go. Uh oh!" Ur-Peter said as he accidentally got it rolling down the hill.

As we spot Ur-Emily and Ur-Persephone walking along the jungle until the wheel accidentally hitting his daughter Ur-Emily in the crotch.

"Awwwwoe, Me pussy!" Ur-Emily said in pain.

This cause Ur-Emily to making her lose control of her bladder.

"Eweee, yo lose bladder!" Ur-Persephone said in disgust.

Now back to Ur-Peter and the cavemen.

"Maybe Joe want try wheel on chair." Ur-Peter said to Ur-Joe while rolling the wheel toward him.

"For last time, Joe no want." Ur-Joe said as he is mush his team of dogs since his wheelchair is powered by these dog and it cause him pain since he has now heel to balance it.

This caused Ur-Peter to get sad again for his failure

"Frank and Brian, Peter fail again." Ur-Peter said in disappointment as the plan didn't work.

"Not so fast. Brian have other idea." Ur-Brian said as he signals Ur-Peter's wife Ur-Lois. To increase sales, he put his wife up next to the wheel in nothing

"Anyone buy wheel get dead bird." Ur- Lois said as she tries to offer a dead bird for them to by the wheel.

But cavepeople look bored, they didn't buy into it.

"It's not working. I'll try a drastic measure." Frank said as he strips Lois to her cavewoman bra and panties.

"Frank, what hell?!" Ur-Lois said as she covers herself but it turns on the cavemen.

"Hot lady next to wheel make me want wheel." Caveman said as he tells his friend that he want wheel now.

"Maybe if me buy wheel, me get pretty lady, too. I buy wheel." Another caveman said as he tells his friend if he buys wheel maybe hot women will like him.

As all the cavepeople rush in to buy the wheel for a chance to get some girl booty.

This cause Ur-peter to realized that cavewoman bra and panties to try and sell the wheels easier, it worked.

"People want Peter wheel thanks to sexy wife. Tonight you and me party like it's 9." Ur-Peter said as he congratulate his wife and he hope to have some nasty time with her.

Until Ur-Stewie come in and smacks Ur-Lois with his club.

"Damn all. What deuce? Victory's Stewie's." Ur-Stewie said as he won his battle with his mother.

Until Gorubunk come in and he use Ur-Stewie club to beat him with it. Also he is rename Ur- Frank Jr.

"Damn you. You poop? Victory's Junior's." Ur- Frank Jr said as he brake dance on his corpse.

 _ **And so our B.C story has end.**_ Frank said as the scene fade to black.

Now back to the bunker with Frank, Peter and the family.

"There have been many great Griffins throughout history, including Moses Griffin who led the Jews out of Egypt." Peter explain the Bronze Age when Moses Griffin led the Israelites to freedom.

As we see a bunch of Jews being leaded by Moses Griffin and Frank through the Egyptian dessert.

All right, it's going to be a long journey everyone, but I will lead you to freedom. Moses Griffin said to his Jews that he will lead them to freedom.

"Now, Jews, ho!" Frank said as he muss the Jew toward the red sea.

Now we see Frank, Moses Griffin with the Jews near the red sea.

"Here we are, the Red Sea. Now, we got to do is swim across." Moses Griffin said as he tell his Jews that they need to do is swim across so they can finally be free.

"I didn't bring my trunks." Man 1 said that he didn't bring my trunks

"I don't want to step on a shell." Man 2 said that he doesn't want to step on a shell

"I can't get water in my ears." Man 3 said that he can't get water in his ears

"I ate 20 minutes ago." Man 4 said that he ate 20 minutes ago.

"You know, what they flush in Cairo ends up right here." Women 1 said that all the pee and poop from cairo ends up in the red sea.

"All right, I'll see what I can do." Moses Griffin said to his Jews.

This made Moses Griffin to part the red sea down the middle so they can walk to the other side.

"Oh, I can part the Red Sea. You know he hasn't talked to his brother in three years." Man 1 said as he complain about Moses parting the red sea.

"Shut up, Todd!" Frank said back to the Jew name and tells him to shut up..

Now we join the Jews near a mountain as Moses and Frank return with the commandments.

"All right, listen up. Before we go any further I wanna lay down a few rules, right? Commandment #1: Shut the hell up. Commandment #2: There's nothing I can do about the sun. Commandment #3: There are no more Jolly Ranchers, they're all gone. Commandment #4: When we pass a billboard, please don't read it out loud. Alright?" Moses Griffin said all three commandments to his Jews so they can learn and live by.

"Now come on, let's keep goin'!" Frank said as he and Moses lead the Jews toward valley of billboards.

That's until one Jew ruin the whole trip for both Frank and Moses Griffin.

"Oh, look at that! "Danny Gans, entertainer of the year"." Man 1 said as he read and speak out loud the billboard that just saw.

"What did I say?!" Moses shouted at the Jew about his commandments.

"Hassle-free checking". Man 2 said another billboard.

Dammit! Moses said as he complain about these Jews not listing about God's first three commandments.

"Man cow in the morning". Man 3 said another billboard.

"Shut up!" Frank shout at them to be quite as he too gets piss off with the Jews not listing to them.

Now back to the Bunker with the family finish with Peter ancestor story.

"Peter, can we stop the stories for a minute? We need to figure out how we're going to survive. I mean, is there even any food in here?" Lois said as she asked what they need figure out how we're going to survive.

"Right, good thinking. Meg and Persephone, go get us some sandwiches." Peter said as he command the griffin Twins to get them some sandwiches.

"Wait a minute, that's a great idea. If Meg and Persephone can get through the vent, they can sneak out and go get help." Brian said as he realized that if Meg and Persephone can get through the vent, they can sneak out and go get help.

This caused the Griffin Twins to panic and Meg rush towards her father for help.

"Dad, we can't go through the vent." Meg said as she tells peter that they can't go through the vents.

"Yeah, she's right. We need to grease them up so they can't get stuck. Everybody spit on Meg and Persephone." Peter said as he commands his family spit on Meg and Persephone to grease them up.

As everyone in the room began to spit on Meg and Persephone to grease them up so they can't get stuck when they go through the vents. The only people that tried to stop or block the spit was john and Frank.

"Stop! Stop! Stop!" Persephone shouts at them to stop spit at her and her twin.

"Stop it you guys, just stop it!" John shouted in anger to stop spiting at his girlfriend.

"Oh no, it's in my face, ahhhha!" Frank said as he feel the spit on his face as he blocks it from being on his wife.

This cause them to stop spiting at the girls plus their boys.

"Okay! Okay! I meant I can't do it because there are burglars down there." Meg said as she explains that they can't go down since the burglars are down there

"Come on, they're not going to touch you girls. You're both covered with spit." Peter said as he tells them that the burglar won't touch them since they are cover in spit.

This cause everyone to nod in agreement.

"Be careful, Girls." Lois said as she tells her daughters to be careful downstairs.

As Meg and Persephone are sent down through a vent to get food

"Ahaaaaaa, I hate you all!" Persephone said as she fall down with her sister.

This cause Stewie to make a joke.

"I hate you, too, bitch." Stewie said that he hate her as well.

This cause both Frank and John scowl at his comment and Stewie gets nervous.

"Oh, no, no, I'm just kidding. Can you imagine?" Stewie said as his apologies to them, since he didn't mean it at all.

2-minutes later, cause everyone except peter to worry about the twins.

"You think Meg made it through the vent?" Emily asked everyone if the twins are alright.

"Well, let's find out.' Frank said as he turn on the monitor to find the girls, one of the monitors show the girls in the kitchen.

Oh, there she is. She's in the kitchen. John said as he point them out at the monitor that show the girls.

This cause Tyler to turn on the mic to talk to the girls.

"Hey, Meg and Persephone. We see you there in the kitchen." Tyler talks to her through a loudspeaker

Until Peter pushes Tyler aside to talk to the girls.

"Persephone, Put my sandwich on whole wheat please. No, no, no, don't use that mustard. Use the other mustard." Peter talks to her through a loudspeaker.

This cause John to notice another monitor that show the burglars in Peter and lois room. As they heard Peter in every room, this made john panic.

"Oh, God, Meg and Persephone, they know you're both there." John talks to her through a loudspeaker

"Quick, scrape that mustard off. Use the other mustard!" Peter talks to them through a loudspeaker and the robbers find and capture her.

This cause Emily to faint and Frank kick Peter in the nuts for what he did. Also both John and Tyler body slam him until he was unconscious.

"Oh, no. The burglars got my baby." Lois said in panic since her girls were captured.

As the burglars capture Meg and Persephone, they grab some stuff and were doing something that catch the eye of Brian.

"I think they're making a sign to tell us something.' Brian said to the family that the burglars were making a sign.

This cause Stewie to get piss off by their behavior.

Better not be using my crayons mixing 'em up. Stewie said as he doesn't like people messing with his stuff.

As they show a sign to the camera that says "we have your sons".

"We have your sons?" Frank said as he read the sign

As the burglars mistake the twins for boys

Meg and Persephone's are our daughters. Lois tells them she's their daughters, they put "really?" on the back side of the sign.

This cause Frank Jr to get piss off and he take the mic to speak to them.

Yes really, and they are beautiful, you retarted bitches! Frank Jr shout at the mic at the burglars. As he wishes to kick their asses for insulting his mother and aunt.

"Peter, do something!' Emily said as she worries about her sisters.

"You know, Meg and Persephone being captured by evil men reminds me of another story." Frank said as he begins to start another story about their ancestors.

This cause Peter to turn of the monitor that shows Meg and Persephone.

"It's distracting." Peter said as he tells his family that the monitor that has his daughter on it was distracting.

Until John and Tyler to jump on him and until he was unconscious again. As Frank continues the story.

" _ **Um, this is the story of Pop's ancestor Nate Griffin and my ancestor Alex Mallque. Of course, Nate Griffin and Alex Mallque was their slave names. Their real names were Richard Bachman and Mata olae. And this is the story of his roots. It all began in Africa in the tiny village of Quahog-swana where he was a proud member of the tribe of Tootie-an-Blair."**_ Frank tells the story of black slave Nate Griffin and his ancestor Alex Mallque.

As the story begins in Africa in the tiny village of Quahog-swana where both Peter and Frank ancestors were both proud members of the tribe of Tootie-an-Blair.

As we see Nate and Alex near many huts until they notice Quagdingo, who is Glenn Quagmire's African ancestor.

"Hey, Quagdingo, how was your date last night?" Nate Griffin asked him on how was his date last night.

"Oh, it was awesome. You never feel as big as you do with a pygmy." Quagdingo said it was awesome.

This gross out Alex a bit since he is half black and half Japanese. Also he didn't get lucky in japan like some of his family in japan.

"Gross, Quagdingo, just gross!" Alex said his comment about Quagdingo sex life.

That when Joemama came by. He is Joe Swanson's African ancestor, like his descendant, is paraplegic, paralyzed from the waist down. In lieu of a wheelchair, he used a wild boar as his method of mobility.

"Hey, you guys want to go get a drink at Club 227?" Joemama asked if they want to get a drink at Club 227.

"Not today, Joemama. Me and Mata are going off to find a log to build a drum so I can play the opening part from "Hot For Teacher." We'll see you guys later." Nate Griffin said as he tell them that they going off to find a log to build a drum so I can play the opening part from "Hot For Teacher."

As we see both Nate and Alex leave to find some wood, we are join by Tom Tucker and Diana Simmons's ancestors who are also name Tom and Diane. As they are giving the news to the tripe in the middle of the village.

"Coming up in this half hour, flies on your face how many is too many?" Diane explains coming up in a half hour, flies on people's face, how many is too many.

"But first, that orange thing in the sky and what you can do to please it." Tom tells his people about the sun and what they can do to please it.

As Nate and Alex goes into the African jungle to find a log and stick so he can play the beginning of "Hot for Teacher" by Van Halen. Until they were stop by Brian, who appears as a talking monkey.

"You know, you shouldn't be poking around out here. White men have been spotted nearby laying traps and forming slow-pitch softball leagues." Monkey Brian said as he warns them about white people are coming and capturing black people.

"Well, whatever makes them happy? Live and let live, that's what I say." Nate said as he shrugs it off.

"And I'm sure that's what they say, too." Alex said in agreement with Nate.

That when Cleveland from South Carolina appeared, he is a white slave trader. Also he is the ancestor of our Cleveland brown. He speaks in the same slow pattern as Cleveland Brown.

"Hello. I'm Cleveland from South Carolina." Cleveland from South Carolina introduced himself to Nate Griffin

"Wow, you're a different color than me. Would you like to be equals?" Nate asked him if he wanted to be equals.

But he didn't listen and he capture both Alex Mallque and Nate Griffin.

Now we join our heroes in a slave ship toward the new world as Nate and Alex were chain up in rows.

"Hey, Quagdingo, you want to play I-Spy again?" Nate asked Quagdingo if he want to ply I-Spy again

"No!" Quagdingo said no as he is bored of that game.

But Nate ignore him and play with him anyway.

"I spy something beige." Nate said as he spy something beige

"Wood." Quagdingo said wood for the answer.

"Yeah." Nate said in excitement.

Okay that game is dumb! Alex reply since he was bore of that game as well.

Now the scene turn to Tom and Diane in chain next to other black slave and they give everyone the news.

Hello and welcome to the news at what I suspect is dawn. Our top story continues to be where is this giant canoe heading? But first let's go to Ollie Williams with the port side window report. Ollie? Tom give the news about the ship and ollie Williams with the port side window report

As the scene turn to Ollie Williams with the port side window report.

"I saw a fish!" Ollie Williams shouted at his place on the boat.

"Thanks, Ollie. And now sleep." Tom said as he and Diane both sleep after giving the news.

"Well that was horrible!" Alex said as he didn't get the right news today.

Now it was midnight and everyone in the ship was asleep until Nate made a move to scratch on his nose this cause Nate to look in awe of his discovery. He then wake up his friends to tell them the news.

"Hey, guys, one of my cuffs is loose. If we can break out of here, I've got an idea how to give the captain of this boat what he deserves." Nate said to his friend that one of my cuffs is loose. If they can break out of here, he got an idea how to give the captain of this boat what he deserves.

Then we join the captain in his room sleep in his bed until Nate and his friend came inside quietly and they jump him.

Now it morning on the ship and the crew were wirking until someone notice something was wrong.

"Hey, where's the captain?" one of the English colonist asked his fellow man on where is the captain.

"I don't know. I haven't seen him all morning." English colonist reply since he too hasn't seen him all morning.

The slave ship captain wakes up with his bed on a dock in the water and then falls in as the "Are You Ready For the Summer?" song from the movie plays

 **North Star Camp Kids Chorus**

 _Are you ready for the summer? Are you ready for the sunshine? Are you ready for the birds and bees, the apple trees And a whole lot of swimming to do?_

As Frank's and Peter's ancestors and the other slaves cheer on the ship above _._

"This is going to be the best summer ever." Nate said as he thinks this is going to be the best summer ever.

"Hell yeah it is!" Alex said in excitement.

As Nate, Alex and Quagdingo high five each other while Joemama gets pump up. The scene freeze for Frank to narrate the rest of the story.

" _ **And it was. But Nate and Alex were soon found themselves put to work on a Southern plantation. It was way down there. You know, when you stop seeing Howard Johnson's and you start seeing Stuckey's. Anyway, it was a horrible place where they took away everybody's African names and gave them new names."**_ Peter said as he describes the Pewterschmidt plantation as way down South, "around where you stop seeing Howard Johnson's and start seeing Stuckey's."

As we see the heroes in a cart being drag to their new home at the Pewterschmidt plantation.

The next scene revealed Bruce had an African American slave ancestor named Tobi, he is seen being whipped by an English colonist.

"What's your name?" English colonist asked the slave who he is whipping to tell the other slave his new name.

"Tobi with an "I." With an accent over the "I," and a little lineover the "O" so you know it's a long vowel sound and not a short one. And sometimes I like to dot the "I" with a little smiley face or a heart or something. Something to brighten the reader's day.' Tobi said as he spelled his name with several accents.

This cause the English colonist to get piss off and he whips Tobi again.

"I asked you what your name was." English colonist asked him in anger on who is new name is,

"Honey, you keep that up, it's whatever you want it to be." Tobi said as he refuses to accept his white name while being sassy.

" _ **Of course, back then the South was a very different place than it is today. A backward place where they didn't believe in science and hated others just for being different. Time has a way of changing a place and its people."**_ Frank said as he explains that the South was a very different place than it is today. A backward place where they didn't believe in science and hated others just for being different.

As the scene show slave at the cotton fields pick up cotton, as both Alex and Nate walk over to one of his master for a complaint.

"Excuse me. Hi. Yeah, is there like a human resources guy we could talk to? I have a work-related grievance." Alex said as he issue a complaint.

"What?" Overseers said in shocked and anger.

"The quarters are too crowded, the hours are long and you know, I don't like to be "this guy," but a couple of the overseers have been making racial slurs." Alex said the many things wrong with the work place like the quarters are too crowded, the hours are long and the overseers have been making racial slurs.

As the overseers was about to whip him and Nate silly until he notice the owners were come out of their mansion.

The Pewterschmidt version of this family back then looks exactly the same as the present day family. With Silas Pewterschmidt looking like his descendent with his wife looking like Barbara.

" _ **And then, all of a sudden, he saw her. Lois-Laura-Bush-Lyn-Cheney Pewterschmidt, the plantation owner's daughter."**_ Peter explain the wife of Nate griffin.

This Lois wears a teal green dress with a green teal sun hat, she has long red curly hair. she bears an uncanny resemblance to Lois Griffin.

" _ **Of course, ordinarily black guys aren't attracted to white women, but she was something different. As a poet might say, she was the kind of woman you just want to have sex with over and over. With the kind of breasts you just want to push together so she looks like a cross-eyed torso."**_ Frank explain that Lois ancestor was pretty hot for the black people back then.

" _ **He knew he had to have her."**_ Peter explains that Nate Griffin falls in love with Lois Laura Bush-Lynne Cheney-Pewterschmidt.

" _ **Meanwhile Alex was watching his friend fall in love with a white woman. One of his master came by towards him and he were talking about him."**_ Frank said as he explain that his ancestor was being transfer to another family who related to Pewterschmidt.

"Hey Alex Mallque, you being sell to one of the Pewterschmidt branch families since we have too many slaves." Overseers said which shocked Alex as he was being drag away from his friend.

As we spot Nate riding on a horse towards Lois's house window on top. He then throw pebbles at the window to wake her up but it didn't work, so he did the next best thing, he throw his horse into the room as it thrash around the room until it crash into another window to the outside.

This cause Lois to awaken and she wonder something.

"Is someone there?" Lois asked threw the window on who id calling her now at night.

"Lois!" Nate calls out to her from outside.

As she notices him from upstairs.

"Who are you?" Lois asking him on who he is.

"Hi. I'm Nate Griffin. I work against my will for your dad." Nate explain who he is and his work employment.

"Oh, yeah? Well, what do you do?" Lois asked on what he does here.

"Well, let's just say I know my way around a hoe." Nate said a dirty joke to her.

As they both laugh at their off color blue comedy.

" _ **And, from the moment that piece of off-color blue comedy was uttered, their lives were changed forever."**_ Peter said as he tell them that they fell in love on that night.

"You wanna do it?" Nate asked her that she want to have sex with him.

"You bet your sweet black ass I do." Lois said yes with smirk that mean, "I'll screw till you won't move"!

Meanwhile Alex end up with someone who was a relative of the Pewterschmidts.

" _ **As it show Alex working the fields, feed the animals with no breaks. The work was hard and brutal. The overseer doesn't bother him or the other slaves. That is as long as the work is done right and one time. They have no say in how long they work. They know better, since they are slaves."**_ Frank said

Until Alex spot the owners of his new home, the Wilshire's.

" _ **Her name was Elizabeth Wilshire, she was white busty girl with red fancy dress. She was the wife of Mr. Wilshire of the Wilshire plantation. She was 16 years old, a product of a greedy family who gave her away for money and power over the new world. One look at her and we can see why**_ __ _ **Mr. Wilshire want her. To Alex surprise … he see a beautiful woman even though she's white."**_ Frank explain his ancestor situation and who was the women who will be his ancestor wife and mate.

As Alex look at her in awe of her beauty but notice that her eyes are field with sadness. Then he spot her husband and his owner Mr. Wilshire.

" _ **Mr. Wilshire was a very rich man and he was cousins with Silas Pewterschmidt do to the fact that his mother was a Pewterschmidt. But he was also very sexuall active man towards young white women. But he had a week point, he was born with a small penis thus he can't satisfied his wife in bed."**_ Frank said

As it late that night when Alex was called by one of the older female slave name Mamy.

"Alex go take those towels to the Massa's bedroom." Mamy said as she order Alex to bring towels to the master room.

"Yes I am Mamy..." Alex reply as he went upstairs to his master room.

He dropped the towels on the table, suddenly a crow startled him and he trip... Hit his head on the table and he blacked out.

Few hours later, when Alex came through, he was shocked and scared at the same time… to witness his master and his young wife about to make love.

He froze under the table and couldn't move. If his master finds him, he was surely going to be hanged. So he stay until they were done making love so he can escape.

"Elizabeth is very beautiful white female. I could see her face that she doesn't love massa… but she has no choice, she is…his property, just like me." Alex said in his thought as he watch them make love.

 _ **Alex never seen a white woman nude before…but, what he see, Elizabeth is a very, very hot white female, seeing her nude is stirring something in him he never been with a woman before. What woman would want him anyway? Not even his master would have him take a woman either. As he seeing Elizabeth makes his heart beats, seeing master with Elizabeth is hideous and he not even last 5 minutes… there was no love in this love making at all.**_ Frank said

That was good Elizabeth, was it good for you too. Mr. Wilshire

"…yes…it..was." Elizabeth said as she lied to him.

"I….m...v..Very…ti...red…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!" Mr. Wilshire said as he fall asleep since he can't last to satisfy her at all.

As Alex notice Elizabeth face look anger and pouting.

"There he goes again…got what he wanted and fell asleep. Bastard! Leaving me like this. Ever since I married him it's been like this I don't think I can stand it." Elizabeth said in her mind as she was not satisfy from the sex.

As Alex notice her masturbating since she need release since her husband didn't satisfy her at all. This was his chance to escape and leave the room.

"I need to get out of here now... at least Massa is asleep." Alex though as now was his chance to leave the room.

But he gotten a harden dick from watching the mistress playing with herself. But he know there is now way in hell he will fucking a woman, let alone a white woman at that. Frank narrate his tale.

"Just get out quietly so she won't notice I'm ever here." Alex though as he sneak toward the door.

Until he bump into a lamp and it smash on the floor, the sound alerted Elizabeth.

"Huh who's there?" Elizabeth shouted as she asked who's in her room.

She then spots Alex in her room.

"What black man! What the hell are you doing in my bedroom?" Elizabeth asked in anger until her though of something shocking.

"Oh my god! Have you been watching us this whole time! How dare you! You will be hang for this! I promise you that you bastard!" Elizabeth shouted at Alex that he will pay for this.

This cause Alex to panic and he was on his neighs begging for mercy.

"Please madam! I beg you. I hit my head on the table and I blacked out. I woke up ant you and the Massa are already doing it! Please madam! Forgive me." Alex said as he explain what happened today and he want mercy and forgiveness.

"I don't car! Now get out!" Elizabeth said to the man as she will not give mercy.

As Alex though that he was a dead man by morning, he would need to run away tonight! Until Elizabeth notice Alex's huge Hardon in his pants. That's when she stops him.

"Wait...come here slave. Have you been watching me and my husband this whole time?" Elizabeth asked him that he was watching them make love.

"Yes mam? I did not want to madam butt…" Alex tries to talk an excuses.

"But what slave…" Elizabeth asked him on his excuses.

"It's the first time I've seen as white lady naked before madam… I'm truly sorry madam." Alex reply and he apologies again.

And he nodded in agreement to that statement.

"What's your name slave?" Elizabeth asked him his name.

"Alex Mallque, madam!" Alex reply his name to her.

"Listen to me Alex. You will do exactly as I say or I will wake up your master and have you hang right now." Elizabeth tell him that he will do exactly as she say or she will wake up his master and have him hang.

"Yeas mam!" Alex reply.

"Now come over here and lie down in front of me." Elizabeth orders him to lay right next to her in bed.

So he did lay right next to her in her bed while his master was still asleep. As Elizabeth notice his bulged in his pants.

"Wow…it's so…big pushing like that in his pants." Elizabeth thought as her notice how big the bulged is.

"Oh no this is not good. With those white hands so close to my cock. It's going to push out hard." Alex thought as his notice her trying to take out his Johnson from inside his pants.

"Oh my god!" Elizabeth shouted in shocked as she did take it out and his cock was huge.

As he moans from her touch and that made her grin with excitement.

"So seeing your mistress naked makes your Johnson hard slave." Elizabeth asked him if she seeing naked was making him so hard.

As she continues to touch his dick he begin to lose control of holding his cum. Until he burst right in front of her face.

"Aaaarrrhh!…he cums! And it's so much more! Black cum on my body is making me hot all over. I even tasted a little of it on my lips. Its making my pussy dripping wet…I…I want this black cock inside me. Even though is forbidden for white woman having sex with the black slaves." Elizabeth thought as she now want his dick since she now hot in bothered.

"Listen to me very carefully Alex...I am going to mate with you. If I hear a whisper about this you will be hanged immediately… do you understand Alex?" Elizabeth said as she explains to him that she and he are having sex now.

"But mistress it's forbidden." Alex reply

"I know that's why you must keep it a secret or you die understand." Elizabeth said as she explain that he must keep this moment a secret.

"Yes mistress. I understand." Alex reply a yes to it.

"But above all…you will not and I mean you will not ejaculate your cum inside my body. Do you know what that means Alex?" Elizabeth said as she tell him not to cum inside her or he will pay.

"Yes mistress." Alex reply to her command

"Because I will hang you myself if you do. When you get close to cum you will pull it out understand!" Elizabeth said as she warns him again while she climb on top on him getting ready for the fun.

"I understand mistress!" Alex reply.

"Now since this will by your first time with a woman I will teach you how to please a woman, and I will expect this from you every time I call on you understand Alex." Elizabeth said to Alex her commands.

"I understand mistress!" Alex reply.

As she put his Johnson in her mouth and she get working on it.

"I cannot believe this the Massa's wife wants me to have sex with her with my dick." Alex though as he can't believe Elizabeth want him in bed.

"Seeing his dick is making my pussy tingling all over. I want his dick inside me desperately!" Elizabeth thought about Alex's dick all the time now.

"You will be my fuck toy Alex… no one else must know about this and remember what I told you Alex. Now you must please my pussy before I will have that big dick shoved deep inside my body." Elizabeth said as she command him to have sex with her now.

"Yes mistress!" Alex reply.

"I would never dream for this to happened, but seeing massa's wife young white body and begging me to fucker with my dick is a true dream becoming real." Alex though that his dream of having a white woman is becoming real.

"Don't worry Alex, master is very heavy sleeper, now do as you are told." Elizabeth said as she explains that his master is very heavy sleeper.

"Yes mistress!" Alex reply.

"I'll surely be hanged if Massa wakes up and sees my mouth on his young white wife pussy." Alex though as he start to please his master wife.

As he was lick her pussy, Elizabeth was getting more Horney by the minute, until she came real hard and she squirreled all over Alex's face.

This cause her to think about Alex's dick again. So she asked Alex to shove his dick into her.

So Alex fucking the hot wife of his boss. Her face soft and Alex will please and much his female sexy boss with his huge cock, And fuck her, the hidden one of her master. Because this woman loves sex and is not being reciprocated in bed by her husband His huge cock is inside the pussy of the hot blonde of big tail and full breasts.

Until he was about to blow inside of her, he then remember to pull out.

So Alex pulls out of Elizabeth right as he shoots his load all over the mistress naked body. They both passed out for their ordeal. Never have they both experience such intense pleasure.

Next morning, Alex slowly wakes up. He then realized what had happened looking at the beautiful white woman that had just taken his virginity. Alex was getting another hard on. But his senses tell him differently.

I better get out of here before master wakes up! Alex thought as he get out of bed before his master up to find him in here.

As he gets dress he stare upon the woman he had sex with last night.

"I hope mistress doesn't wait long. I would sure like to fuck her again real soon." Alex thought about the next time his mistress call him for another round of sex.

Until Elizabeth wakes up and call him.

"Alex!" Elizabeth call him.

"Huh? Uh yes mistress?" Alex reply to her.

"Remember what I have told you and also wait for me to call you when I need you." Elizabeth said as she wants him to visit her in her room again.

"Yes mistress!" Alex reply as he went back to work.

For that few months both Alex and Elizabeth would have sex with each other, day in night. Even in party after her husband was busy with guest. Also outside when they have a picnic, Elizabeth couldn't get enough of Alex and soon she was falling deep heel for him.

But all the sex came with a cost, Elizabeth became pregnant. She knew that it was Alex's, Mr. Wilshire was not the wiser to her pregnancy. Until one of her slave's found out and it was Mamy.

Later that evening, Mamy was delivery tea to her mistress.

"I brought you some tea as you requested mistress." Mamy said as she tell her mistress that she brought the towels.

"Oh thank you nana." Elizabeth reply.

"Is there anything else you would like mistress." Mamy asked her

"Oh none at the moment nana." Elizabeth said as she doesn't want anything.

"Then may I suggest that fucking Alex is not a very good idea mistress since I see you bear his fruit." Mamy reply as she reveal to know their secret.

This shocked Elizabeth since they were very careful not to let anyone know about her pregnancy.

"You will not say a word about this or you will be hang!" Elizabeth reply as she tells her that she not say anything about her pregnancy.

But Mamy knew better that the child she is carry is not a sin to this world and it's was innocent as any baby born into this cruel world. She also thinks of Alex as he own son. So she and a plan to the child and the father.

"I have a plan, you must give birth to the child in secret, and then you must return the child and Alex back to Silas Pewterschmidt. I heard that his daughter has a family with his friend and they would be happy to take him back plus escape to the west to be free." Mamy explain her plan to her mistress.

Of course she complain about never see her child and lover again. But Mamy reassure her that they have to wait until the master dies of old again since he doesn't have much time left in this world. So Elizabeth agreed to the plan and she told Mamy to tell Alex that of they have a boy, he will be name Abe, if a girl the name her Lizzy after her.

" _ **So in a few months, Elizabeth gave birth to Alex first born son, Abraham Mallque in secret. Then on Tuesday, both he and alex were return to Pewterschmidt mansion as alex was reunited with his friend nate griffin and his family. Then for the next 15 years, they raised their families in secrecy."**_ Frank said as he tell them about his ancestor having a family of his own with his master wife plus Nate and Lois marriage produced four children that resemble modern-day Emily, Stewie, Meg, and Chris in secrecy.

As we join the family in their slave house with Nate and Alex sitting while Lois was making dinner.

"Supper's ready! Come and get it, kids!" Lois calls her kid toward the table.

That when Alex's son came in, he look like a light skin version of Frank Jr, his name was Abraham Mallque. Abe went to sit next to his father and then the four children were come inside, the one who like Meg was name May Griffin. The Chris look alike name is Curtis Mayflower Griffin, the one who was Emily's ancestor was Abigail Griffin and finally the Stewie look alike is name Huey griffin.

"You know the best part about being half black and half white? When I grow up, I'll be accepted by everybody." Huey said as he feel like to be half black and half white.

"Yeah I'm so lucky to be half black, half Japanese and half white since I'll be a role model to my family and their fortune." Abe said as he too is happy to be half black and have white as well as half Japanese.

That's when Alex then remember his father, Gozin Mallque. He was Japanese explore with some British people exploring in Kenya. When he was down there, he caught the attention of a young Maasai woman. Her name was Michiko, she is quite possibly the wildest afro woman in family. Her Height is 5'11' and she has long wave afro hair.

He gave her the name since she didn't have one when he gotten here, Then name Michiko is a Japanese given name, used for females. Although written Romanized the same way, the Japanese language written forms (kanji, katakana, hiragana) can be different. Common forms include: 美智子 — "beautiful wise child" 美千子 — "child of a thousand beauties"

Her carefree attitude, aggressive personality, and conviction to see the man she loves all contribute to her overall character. Michiko is the type of girl that will not tolerate anything hindering her path, and will do anything to achieve her goal. Her wild personality and disrespectful attitude towards the village law enforcement, makes Gozin life interesting and exciting.

Michiko is a wild lady that often exhibits childish behavior. She will not hesitate to mock people and throw a fit if things are not met her way. Gozin actually shows to have a higher sense of morals and acts appropriately in society. Gozin is quiet and conservative, whereas, Michiko is loud and constantly the center of attention. Michiko is the type of woman who isn't afraid to get in someone's face and tell them off.

She took him for an exotic, sophisticated superman of sorts and developed something of a liking to him.

A few nights later, she came down to his hut wearing nothing but a fertility headdress and carrying a husband stick. Since he was guest in the village, he had to participate in the customs. Well, he'll be morally irresponsible if he did not participate in the custom.

Gozin could destroy their entire social structure if he didn't participate. Oh, he felt so terrible about it. He felt terrible seven times until she was pregnant. A few month later, he was born.

"Oh those were good time!" Alex thought of his family at Africa.

That's when Silas Pewterschmidt busting inside threw the door.

"Daddy!" Lois said as she was shocked that her father found them out.

"Just as I thought! Lois, how in God's name, could you embarrass the family like this?" Silas Pewterschmidt said as he does not approve of her relationship with Nate Griffin

"Wow, wow, Sitting right here." Abe Mallque said as he hate being dis by the old man.

"Daddy, you're the embarrassment. Nate and I love each other!" Lois said as she tell him that she doesn't care what he thinks and she love her husband.

But Silas wouldn't have any of it.

"Tell it to the authorities, because you're all going to jail!" Silas Pewterschmidt said as eh tell them that they are under arrest.

Until Nate grabs a frying pan and knocks Silas out.

"Run!" Nate said to family to make a run for it.

"For once we agreed father!" Abigail Griffin said as she rushes towards the door while holding Abe in her arms.

" _ **And so they set off on their escape to the north. Luckily, they were helped by Nate's good friend, Al Cowlings, who showed up on his trusty white bronco. But the law was hot on their trail."**_ Frank said

As Nate and Lois escaped from his master and her father Silas Pewterschmidt, who did not approve of the relationship. But good old Nate Griffin was shown to be good friends with Al Cowlings.

Then we spot Tom and Diane on hot air balloon.

"Well, we're getting a good view of the chase from up here, Tom." Diane said as she and tom are getting a good view on the air balloon.

"That's right, Diane. We're looking at Nate Griffin and Al Cowlings the man we believe to be Al Cowlings. We'll stay with the chase. Uh it seems like a futile effort on their part, Diane. At some point that horse is going to have to stop and eat some grain." Tom said they stay with the chase. Uh it seems like a futile effort on their part, at some point, that horse is going to have to stop and eat some grain.

But the family made it to a town in the north as Alex and Nate work in plan to get even with the white man.

" _ **But luck was on their side and eventually, they made it to the north. After that, Alex return to the Wilshire plantation after he learn that all the slaves have been freed by the Thirteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution. The Mallque Family stays for a time as sharecroppers, continuing to work the Wilshire Plantation in exchange for livestock and food. Once Nate returns to the Wilshire Plantation with a wagon, he, Alex, Lois, Elizabeth and the rest of their family pack up their belongings and head to the north to start a new life. When Wilshire threatens theming his old age, Mamy shoots him. Once in north, Alex and his wife have a daughter, the first Mallque born free in America. Then he and Nate went their separate so Alex can return to Africa with his wife money so he can take his father and mother to japan to live in peace."**_ Frank explain that after They escaping Silas.

As Alex and Nate work in making shoe for horse in town until Alex gain a letter from Elizabeth. Alex then return to Wilshire plantation for his mistress and he return to the town were Nate was so his wife can give birth to his daughter then they slip for Africa to reunite with his father and mother so they can return to japan and live in peace.

" _ **Then Nate devoted his life to getting back at the white man for the injustice of slavery, by inventing the Department of Motor Vehicles."**_ Peter explain that Nate sets up the Department of Motor Vehicles to "get back at the white man".

As we join Nate Griffin found the Department of Motor Vehicles just so he can frustrate and irritate white people.

"Sir, did you fill out the 1170?" Nate asked the costumer if he fill out the 1170.

"I think I did." Costumer said.

"Did you fill out the 1170?" Nate asked the costumer if he fill out the 1170.

"I filled this out." Costumer said as he gave Nate the file that he had.

"That's the 1190. You're gonna have to go stand in the blue line. "Nate said that he gave him the 1190. He is gonna have to go stand in the blue line.

"I was already in that line." Costumer said as he was already in that line.

"Sir, don't get snippy with me." Nate tell him to not get snippy with him.

"I've been here all morning. Costumer explain that he was here all day.

"That is not my prerogative, sir." Nate tell him that it's not his prerogative.

"I wait in one line, they send me to another line." Costumer said that he wait in one line, they send him to another line.

"You can always call to make an appointment." Nate said to him that he always call to make an appointment.

"The line's always busy! That's ridiculous." Costumer said that the line's always busy.

"Wait in the appointment line." Nate said to him to wait in the appointment line.

"I know! I don't want to wait! I haven't got all day!" Costumer said that he doesn't want to wait! He haven't got all day!

"You're going to have to take that somewhere else. You know what? I'm on break." Nate said as he put up a sign that he is taking a break.

Now back at the bunker with the family as Frank tell them the next ancestor story but at the Mallque side now.

"Okay here a story about my Asian ancestor Finn Mallque who made the wall of china and defeat Victor Kong" Frank said as he explain the next Mallque ancestor who was who made the wall of china and defeat Victor Kong.

As Scene opens up showing in China, 1542, the camera pans down a parade is going on.

"Aw nuts, I'm standing on Tyler's shoulders and I still can't see anything!" John said as he can't see anything on Tyler shoulders.

As Camera zooms out to see John is standing on Tyler's shoulders to view the parade over the crowd but he finds that it is not high enough.

"This is not how it works!" Tyler said as he can't hold him any longer.

As John then discovers that due to his weight, Tyler has fallen down on the ground and John is standing on his back, not shoulders.

"Relax everyone. Stewie and I have devised a solution. Hop on." Finn tells them that he has a better idea and they all climb on a big plank of wood.

The plank begins to rise up and becomes a high wooden structure.

As Meifeng Kinney spots the wooden structure, as she is Emily ancestor from her mother side of the family.

"Finn and Stewie! And their friends! With technology that's slightly more advanced than what we have today. Mom!" Meifeng said as she runs off to tell her Mother who look like Asian lois as what they're doing is technology that's slightly more advanced than what they have today.

Meanwhile with the kids on top of on the structure, John is still standing on Tyler

"You are doing it again!" Tyler said as he sick of john on his shoulders.

"It helps my arches!" John saying that it helps his arches when he stands like that.

"Look guys! It's Regent West, and that girl must be... Princess Korra!" Finn said as he and the three then see Regent West and Princess Isabella in a palanquin, and Finn admires the princess dreamily.

The scene shifts Princess Korra with Regent West.

"Regent West? When can I meet some of the local children?" Princess Korra asking Regent West when she will be able to meet some local children

"Princess, I'm afraid it's just not safe for you out in the wide world what with Victor Khan on the loose." Regent West says that it is too risky because of Victor Khan.

"Victor Khan! He has been a plague on our land for far too long!" Princess Korra said as she is sick of Victor khan ruining her land.

"I promise once his forces have been defeated we'll throw you the biggest party money can buy. Of course it won't cost you anything because you're a hereditary monarch. "Regent West said as he calms her down.

Now we join Meifeng trying to talk with her mother Lois, she look like a Japanese Lois but with regular American eyes

"Mom, wait till you see what Finn and Stewie and their friends have done now! Look!" Meifeng tries to tell Lois about the structure.

Until her father, peter interrupt her.

"Look, acrobats!" Peter tells Lois that acrobats are on their way.

This make Lois excited.

"Acrobats? I love acrobats." Lois said in awe and so she ignores Meifeng.

"No, Mom, over..." Meifeng said as she tries to get her attention.

Until suddenly, the acrobats turn out to be Victor Khan's men

"Oh no, Victor Khan's warriors!" Peter said in gasps

As The acrobats attack and the crowd flees.

Meanwhile with the kids, they can see everything going down.

"He's going after the royal... thingy!" John said as his notice that Victor Khan's men are after the princess.

"It is called a jou." Tyler said as he correct his grammar.

A warrior snatches Princess Korra while she screams in fear.

"See this is exactly what I was... The Princess!" Regent West said as he turn to the princess but she was gone.

Now back to the kids of the story.

"John, get us down there! Quick!" Finn asked john to get them down.

As John lowers the plank so they can try to help.

The Princess! The Princess! Victor Khan why that impertinent... Regent West said as he curse himself.

Until Regent West receives a taunting scroll which shows Victor Khan making a face at him.

"A taunting scroll? How uncouth!" Regent West said as he disgusted by this scroll.

"Should I order the final attack, sir?" General Carl asks if he should send his army to attack

"No, no, General Carl. A full-scale attack now would put the Princess at risk. Oh, if only Master Brian had not given up the way of the warrior and gone to live a contemplative life on the Unclimbable Mountain of Unclimbableness, he could retrieve the Princess. Oh, if only someone could reach him and tell him of our plight!" Regent West said that they can't risk endangering the Princess, he wants help and laments that the Great Master Brian has retired and now resides on top of the Unclimbable Mountain of Unclimbableness and that someone should ask him for help.

They didn't notice the kids and they heard what Regent West said.

"Hey guys, We know what we're gonna do today!" Finn said as he decides that they will go to persuade Master Brian.

Victor Khan's multi-level yurt!

As Princess Korra is brought to Victor Khan in the center of his building.

"Victor Khan…" Princess Korra said as she tries budges free from the grip of two warriors.

But she was drag toward him.

"Regent West will have your head!" Princess Korra said to the man face.

"Regent Monogram will never attack as long as I have his Princess. Which should buy me all the time I need to complete my secret weapon and take over the Ten-Province area!? Meanwhile, I'm putting you in the penthouse dungeon. You'll love the view." Victor Khan said that he had kidnapped Princess Isabella with the intent of making Regent Monogram too helpless to prevent Victor Khan from taking over the Tri-Province Area.

As He takes Princess Korra up a staircase, which according to him is protected with a series of booby traps he alone knows to avoid.

"Of course I've planted booby traps all along the way and I alone know how to avoid them." Victor Khan said as He gets hit by a giant shoe.

"Heh. Must have forgot that one." Victor Khan said as he gets up again.

Until A step opens up and he notices a hammer.

"Oops!" Victor Khan said as the hammer shoots a laser at him.

"Oh, that's right." Victor Khan said as the step opens again.

"You're supposed to skip this step." Victor Khan said until He screams as he falls into a step.

He gets burnt, and gets chomped on by piranhas

"Everything's under control, but—. " Victor Khan said until his next step opens once again and gets hit by a boxing glove.

"Testing the system-." Victor Khan said as his various booby traps are activated as the camera pans to the top of the stairs.

"Hey, hey, it works." Victor Khan said until he gets caught by a bear trap.

Then they made it to the top of the tower.

"Anyway, here you are." Victor Khan said as he Takes out a set of keys and tries the keys to open the door.

"You'll have a nice rack to sleep on and some rats to keep you company. "Victor Khan said as he opens the door for the princess.

"So while your here, enjoy your stay. Ta-ta Princess!" Victor Khan said as he slaps the door.

"I'll see you-." Victor Khan said until his Stairs turn into a chute

Ironically, he gets hit by all the traps and leads Princess Korra, who is unscathed, safely upstairs, and pushes her into a dark room.

Meanwhile the kids were at the foot of the Unclimbable Mountain of Unclimbableness

"There it is, The Unclimbable Mountain of Unclimbableness." Finn said as his point out the Unclimbable Mountain of Unclimbableness.

"Ya know what I hate about The Unclimbable Mountain of Unclimbableness? Just to get there you have to cross the Uncrossable River of Uncrossableness." John says that what he hates the most about the Mountain is that the Uncrossable River of Uncrossableness flows between them and the Unclimbable Mountain.

"Who named all these things?" Tyler asked as he wonders about who makes up these names

"That guy over there, The Redundant Scribe of Redundantness." John said as he points to the reason for the name.

And they see a man sitting under a banner which reads, "Redundant Scribe of Redundantness".

"Hi there! Greetings!" The Redundant Scribe of Redundantness said hello to the kids.

"Okay." Finn said in question why is this man is here.

As The Redundant Scribe of Redundantness continues talking in the background.

"Stewie do we have anything for uncrossable rivers?" Finn asked his friend if they have anything for uncrossable rivers in their bag.

As Stewie pulls out a grappling hook that looks like a crossbow and they didn't notice Meifeng was watching them.

"What are they up to now?" Meifeng asked in question.

As Stewie shoots the grappling hook across the river and attaches a carriage

"Oh, that'll do." John said as He and Tyler get on the carriage.

As Finn next somehow pulls a large machine out of his small bag, and they begin climbing the mountain.

"Grrrrrr!" Meifeng Growls in disgust by their connivance.

"Look, a Chinese eviscerating fish. Though I suppose here in China we just call them eviscerating fish." Tyler said as he explain about the fish he has spot.

As Meifeng starts swinging across the rope and she Mocking Tyler

"Oh but here we just call them eviscerating..." Meifeng Mocking Tyler about the fish until she slip of the rope.

As Meifeng screams and falls into the river.

Now back to Finn and the gang.

"So how do we get up The Unclimbable Mountain of Unclimbableness?" John asked them on how they get up The Unclimbable Mountain of Unclimbableness?

"No worries, Buford. " Finn said as he tell him that they got this.

As Tyler takes his hiking stick and leafs through his backpack.

"I think we have just the thing." Finn said as he pulls out a block of wood.

Meanwhile Meifeng wringing her hair and she notice the kids on the jou.

Oh, come on! Meifeng said as she spots the kids and they are climbing up on a jou with gigantic mechanical feet, emerging from red clouds.

As Meifeng is climbing up the side of the mountain to catch up to the kids.

"Stupid Mountain of Stupidness! "Meifeng calls the mountain the "Stupid Mountain of Stupidness".

Suddenly Redundant Scribe of Redundantness pops out of mountain.

"Actually, that was my original name for it!" Redundant Scribe of Redundantness states that that was what he was originally going to call the mountain.

That when Meifeng falls off the mountain into red clouds.

"Oops, my bad, sorry, my apologizes!" Redundant Scribe of Redundantness said as he went back to work.

Now we see Master Brian is seen flying a kite.

As Finn and the others finally reach the top and see that Master Brian is flying a Chinese kite.

Master Brian! Finn said his name as He and Stewie get out.

As Master Brian puts down the kite

This is a great honor. Finn said as He and Stewie bow.

Wow. I can't believe he's a platypus. John said as he notice that Brian is a dog.

Finn pulled a jou with giant mechanical feet out of his backpack and that is what bugs you? Tyler question on why this bugs him and not the stuff that Finn has in his bag.

Master Brian! Victor Khan has kidnapped the Princess and only you can save her! Finn tell him about the situation and they need his help.

As Master Perry chatters in disagreement.

You mean you won't? But why, Master Brian? What made you give up the life of a warrior hero? Finn ask him that why he leaved fighting.

As Master Brian begins to ripple.

What's he doing? Finn asks what he is doing.

Master Brian starts a "ripple dissolve" effect and it bug everyone.

That's a ripple dissolve. He must be having a flashback. Stewie answers that it is a "ripple dissolve" and that he must be having a flashback.

Does he know we can't see it? Should we give him some privacy? I don't know the protocol for flashbacks. Finn wonders does he know that they cannot see it.

As Brian stops rippling and the kid relax.

At last, Master Brian comes back from the flashback as which is unknown to the kids.

"Is he back? He's back. Well judging by the time you spent staring off into space I'm guessing something pretty bad. But someone has to rescue the Princess, if you won't come with us at least you can train us to do it ourselves!" Finn says that if he will not come, he should teach them some fighting tactics.

As Master Brian agrees and leads them through an intense training regime.

 _ **(Song: The Way of the Platypus)**_  
 **Background singer** _ **:**_

 _Ah yeah!_

 _In other circumstances you might fail cause I know you don't have a beaver tail  
You're not a platypus but I'm gonna see you sweat...  
_ **All:**

 _Milk!_

 **Background singer:**

 _We're gonna see how much you can take  
I'm gonna work you through your you not break  
You squeeze a silkworm, what you think they're gonna get?...  
_ **All:**

 _Silk!_

 **Background singer:**

 _But I know a way we can make you a warrior  
Even though now you're a wuss, it's the Way of the Platypus! _

_But that's just the general information. Here's some of the specific things you can look forward to in your workout..._

 _You're gonna run up a ramp with two buckets of water swing over muck for some reason_

 _At some point you'll drop to your knees when it's raining and look up into the sky..._

 _You'll stand on a pole with your arms out hey, these flowers are way out of season_

 _You'll fly to a swamp planet, meet a little green man and move the big heavy things with your mind..._

 _But I know a way we can make you a warrior_

 _Even though now you're a wuss, it's the Way of the Platypus!_

 _It's the Way of the Platypus!_

At last, after their training is complete, Finn went to talk to his master.

"Are you sure you won't come with us, Master Brian? The kingdom really needs you back." Finn asked him if he sure he won't join the battle.

This cause master Brian starts rippling again.

"He's doing it again." John said as he notice that his master is rippling again.

"Goodbye, Master Brian." John, Phineas, and Tyler said goodbye to their master.

As The boys again climb on the giant mobile jaou and go to fight Victor Khan.

As Master Brian continues flying his kite. Meifeng reaches Brian.

Meifeng appears after the boys have left and she went toward Brian.

"Where are they?" Meifeng Panting asks Master Brian about the boys.

As Brian again starts a "ripple dissolve".

"You know I can't see anything right? " Meifeng comments that she can't see what he is remembering.

As the next scene shows Finn and the others in a jou on a pogo stick

"Follow my lead when we get there; we're going right in the front door." Finn said his plan.

The boys reach and they crash into Victor Khan's headquarters.

"I knew we shouldn't have let Tyler drive." John comments that Tyler shouldn't have been driving

But they crash inside the castle, in front of the booby trap staircase.

As Finn and Stewie dodge the booby traps

"Never mind that, you two stay here and fend off the guards, Stewie and I will rescue the princess." Finn tell Buford to fight the soldiers while he and Stewie rescue the princess.

"We got it covered, just watch out for booby traps." John said in agreement.

Various booby traps activate and Finn and Stewie get to the top of the staircase unscathed.

"We made it and completely unscathed. Good thing we brought along that yak bladder." Finn said as he reaches the top and comments that it was good they had a Yak bladder.

"Princess Korra, we've come to rescue you stand away from the..." Finn tells Princess Korra that they are here to save her and she should stay away from the door.

Before they can break down her door, Princess Korra comes rushing out and embraces Phineas.

"My hero!" Princess Korra said to Finn as she hug him with love.

"Don't worry Princess, we'll take the banister down. It's safer." Finn said to Korra to not worried.

As Finn, Stewie and Princess Korra slide down the banister to find Tyler and John surrounded by knocked out guards.

"Holy mackerel! How did you guys defeat all these soldiers?" Finn said in wonders how John has defeated all the soldiers

"We're okay." Random soldier said as he tell the kids that they are okay.

"There was nothing to it." John said as he starts a "ripple dissolve" effect.

But Finn stop John from starting a ripple dissolve.

"There's no time for flashbacks! We have to go!" Finn says that they don't have time for a flashback

"What flashback?" John asked as they all run off.

"I'm just rippling! It relaxes me." John says that it was not a flashback, he was just rippling because it relaxes him.

They escape with Princess Korra, As Camera pans to Victor Khan watching them escape _._

"Well would you look at that a bunch of kids running away with the Princess... Running away with the Princess?!" Victor Khan said as he Slides down a fireman pole.

"Oh, time to take matters into my own hands!" Victor Khan said he jumps into a giant robotic dragon, which flies toward the castle, turns it on and flies off

Then Victor khan laughing maniacally.

Meanwhile on the jou as the kids are returning to town.

"What the heck is that?" John said as he spot the dragon.

"It must be Victor Khan's secret weapon. It's heading for the castle! What do we do?" Princess Korra said as she know that's Victor Khan's secret weapon.

"I've got an idea!" Finn said as he gotten an idea.

As Victor Khan goes to Regent Monogram's castle. The Dragon flies over Regent West and General Carl's heads.

"Great googly moogly!" Regent West said in awe of the dragon attack.

"Hahahaha! Amazing what you can do with a little bamboo and rice paper huh?" Victor Khan said as he laughs for his victory.

"Victor Khan! What have you done with Princess Korra?" Regent West asks him what he has done with the Princess.

"That's none of your business, but there's no way she escaped forcing me to move up my plans I can tell you that!' Victor Khan replies that she hadn't run away.

"You barbarian!" Regent West said in anger on victor khan wickedness.

"I know I am but what are you." Victor Khan said as he made his Dragon sticks out tongue.

"Hehe. You like that? The tongue set me back a week but it was totally worth it." Victor Khan explain how he made his dragon tongue in a week.

As his dragon attack them with its tail.

"Carl, duck!" Regent Monogram tells Carl to duck, Regent West

"No, actually sir I think it's a draw..." Carl says "it's a dragon, sir and not a duck."

Until Carl gets slapped by the dragon's tail.

"Oh, _that_ kind of duck." Carl said as he then understands the real meaning of what Regent West said.

As Victor Khan starts using his robot to burn the castle.

"Hahahaha! Hyvertical remodeling!" Victor Khan laughs as he is remodeling the town with his dragon.

"We can't take much more of this! What do we do?" General Carl asked his chief on what they can do now.

"Surrender! Oh what now?" Victor Khan asked them to surrender.

Until the dragon starts burning areas around it and it spots a giant terracotta warrior starts marching towards them

"A giant terracotta warrior? Roughly the same size as my dragon?" Victor khan said in question.

As the scene shows giant terracotta warrior was being controlled by Finn, Stewie, Tyler, John and Princess Korra.

"Left leg! Right Leg!" Finn said to the legs to move.

"What could he possibly want? Victor Khan asked as the Terracotta warrior goes to "crane" position.

"Oh he's doing that crane thing." Victor Khan sid about the warrior doing the crane position.

As Terracotta warrior kicks the dragon in the face.

You know, 4 centuries from now that move is gonna be real cliché. Victor Khan said as that move is gonna be real cliché in 4 centuries from now

As Victor punches the dragon and the dragon tries to burn it. But he is not burnt because he is made of terracotta.

"Of course, being terracotta you would be fire-proof. Okay, mono to mono!" Victor Khan said as he realized that his fire breath doesn't work on this warrior.

The robots fight and they are hurting each other.

"Ow that's not your mono!" Victor Khan shouted in pain from his hit.

As they start fighting again and Regent west is enjoying the battle.

"Man, they would love this in Japan! "Regent West comments that the Japanese would "love this".

"What the? Finn and Stewie, Victor Khan and their friends too! Mom!" Meifeng said as she comes over and shockingly sees the huge terracotta warrior, and instantly runs away to tell her Mom about it.

The dragon is slapped by the warrior. Then Terracotta warrior slaps dragon repeatedly.

"Agh, slapies! I hate slapies!" Victor Khan said as he complains about the slapies.

As Terracotta warrior pushes the dragon away, then the dragon tail taps on the warriors soldier and when the soldier turns around, the dragon takes a wind up key out of the warrior's back.

"Hahahaha! Gotcha!" Victor Khan laughs as he is winning.

But the dragon tricks the warrior and pulls its key out. This cause Terracotta warrior deactivates.

"He has the key to our defeat! Without the key, the warrior tends to stop and is unable to fight." Tyler said in a panic tone as they were gonna lose.

"You make puns when the other guy is down, dumbbell!" John said as he is piss off at Tyler for making a pun during battle.

"Aww, poor babies feeling tired, huh? Allow me to put you to sleep!" Victor Khan said as his dragon picks up a Chinese house and was going to throw it on the warrior.

As everyone gasps as they were about to be killed.

"Ew, who puts armpit hair on a mechanical dragon?" Princess Korra wants to know where the dragon's key is and why that dragon has armpit hair.

"Next time, don't put your wind up key in such an obvious place. I cleverly hid mine in a spot only an ancient warrior would dare to go." Victor Khan says that only a great master and warrior can know where he has hidden his key.

Suddenly, Master Brian appears coming down from the sky as he is flying from the same Chinese kite which he was flying.

No, Brian the Bagel! Victor Khan said in shocked as his spot his nemeses.

As Brian hits the dragon's nose with his kick.

Hey, careful with the soft palette there! Victor Khan said in complaint.

As Brian jumps into the dragon's mouth and rolls up the tongue revealing a wind up key. He chatters.

Stewie, the key! Finn said to his friend as they spot the key.

Then Stewie shoots a grappling hook grabbing the key out of the dragon's mouth. Causing the dragon to deactivate.

The Chinese house picked up by the dragon falls on itself and the dragon begins to fall on the terracotta warrior.

"Uh-Oh! Eject everybody!" Finn said to his friend to escape their warrior to survive.

As Master Perry climbs out of the dragon's mouth.

Then we see Finn and the others jump out of the warrior as it and the dragon fall, over falling apart, just as Meifeng brings Lois over.

"Hihihihihi! Look!" Meifeng said as she had her eyes closed and laughing manically.

As Chinese Lois arrives only to see a pile of rubble.

"A giant mechanical terracotta warrior? Really, Meifeng?" Lois tells Meifeng that a giant man controlled terracotta warrior.

As she starts to walks away from this pile of rubble.

"Wouldn't that be slightly more advanced that what we have today?" Lois tell Meifeng that it is impossible because the technology is not that advanced for it.

"Well, that would've been the point!" Meifeng said as she give up on the whole thing.

That's when Finn and others climb out of the warrior as the warrior breaks due to the dragon.

 _As_ Regent West and Princess Isabella run to each other, embracing.

"Regent West!" Princess Korra said as she meets Regent West

"Princess! "Regent West said as they hug and are very happy.

"Party now?" Princess Korra asked for a party now.

"You betcha!" Regent West said in agreement

"Great!" Princess Korra said in excitement.

As they walk away to safety and victor khan rise from the rubble.

"Ah, well, back to the drawing board." Victor Khan said as he accept his defeat for now.

Until he is given a Chinese finger trap as handcuffs, which is stuck by General Carl on his hands.

"Compliments of Regent West." General Carl said as a taunting scroll sticks on his head, showing Regent West teasing him

"Oh, I hate these things! Insult to injury." Victor Khan said in defeat.

Now we join the kids join with Regent West and princess Korra.

"Well all's well that ends well. Maybe someday we will find a way to keep our fair lands safe from barbarian invaders." Regent West thanks the boys and says that there should be a system to protect them from further attacks.

The Princess Korra notice the pile of terracotta pieces.

"You know, I think these blocks would make a great wall." Princess Korra said as she points out that the terracotta pieces would make a Great Wall.

This cause Finn to get an idea.

"Stewie, I know what we're going to do tomorrow!" Finn says that he knows what to do today.

 _ **Many, many years later, an elderly Finn and Stewie have completed building the Great Wall of China.**_

"Well, that took longer than expected." Elderly Finn says that it took longer than expected

"But, it is a great wall." Elderly Stewie states it really is a Great Wall.

"Yeah. So, what you wanna do tomorrow?" Elderly Finn asks what they'll do tomorrow.

As Elder Stewie glares at him and then leaves.

"What? I'm kidding. We can rest, how about a game of mahjong?" Elderly Finn says that he was just joking, and they should play mahjong.

After finishing the story, we join the family in the bunker and Lois starts to panic.

"Peter, enough with the storytelling. We gotta get outta here! They're gonna kill Meg and Persephone! Lois said as she worries for her twin daughters.

Oh, yeah? Over The Girl's dead body. Peter said as he goes into a box in the bunker and pulls out a flare gun.

This cause Brian to get an idea.

"Hey! A flare gun. Good idea, Peter. If we angle it through the vent, we might be able to alert the authorities." Brian said as if they plan to angle it through the vent, we might be able to alert the authorities.

But Peter carelessly aims a flare gun through an air vent, causing the sprinklers to come on.

"Oh, my God! We're gonna drown!" Lois said in horror that they are going to drown.

"We'll be fine. Here, put these on." Peter said as he passes parachutes to the family.

"Peter, these are parachutes. What are we supposed to do with these?" Frank asked him on what are they supposed to do with these.

"They're supposed to distract you while I put on the one scuba suit." Peter said as he puts on the one scuba suit to survive.

As the scene fade to black.

Now back to the family in the bunker as peter come back for air.

"What's the matter?" Frank Jr asked his grandpa on what the matter.

"That wasn't oxygen. That was a tank of Tony Danza's breath." Peter said that his tank is filed of Tony Danza's breath.

"I wonder who got your oxygen tank." Frank asked him on how has peter's oxygen tank as it turn into a cutaway about the answer to his question.

 **Cutaway**

We see Judith Light making out with a photo of Tony Danza's photo.

"Kiss me, Tony. I want your breath inside me" she opens the oxygen tank and kisses the tube.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we are back at the bunker as The rest of the family, still trapped in inside, they are preparing to potentially drown from the sprinklers filling the room up with water.

"Well, as long as death is staring us in the face, I might as well tell you about my great grandfather, who was the greatest silent movie star of the '20s. His name was Willy "Black-Eye" Griffin, and his ocular misadventures made him a star." Frank tells the story of his ancestor, Willie "Black-Eye" Griffin, who was a silent film star in the 1920s

As Willie "Black-Eye" Griffin was Peter Griffin's great-grandfather. He starred in several slapstick silent films back in the 1920s.

The first file was Rko presents "black eye" griffin in "telescope trouble"

As the scene show at night with a full moon as willy is with his dog who resembles Brian going at the balconing with a telescope.

"With this you can observe the heavens." Brian explain in silent movie talking cutout frame.

As the scene change to Willy looking up at the moon and the moon winks at him. This cause Willy to try it out until he hit his eye with said telescope in pain.

"Oh-oh, not my eye again!" Willy say as he cover his eye in pain.

He would then turn towards the camera, revealing his black eye, and shrug as the film ended with an iris out on the blackened eye.

The second film was Rko presents "black eye" griffin in" musket madness"

As the scene change to Willy and Brian at in a war zone as Brian fill his musket so he can fire at his enemies. When Willy tries to fill his musket but fail. He then puts the musket near his eye, it fires at his eye.

"Oh-oh, not my eye again!" Willy say as he cover his eye in pain.

He would then turn towards the camera, revealing his black eye, and shrug as the film ended with an iris out on the blackened eye.

The third film was Rko presents "black eye" griffin in "piano problems"

As the scene show Willy and Brian pull a piano to the top of the build so they can put it in the select room. Until Lois come near an open window and put out a pie on the window cell for it to cool down.

This cause Willy to smell out the pie, which it made him look surprised by winking both eyes in a fluttery motion.

"That's pie!" Willy said in silent movie talking cutout frame.

That when Willy let go of the rope so he can get the pie until he was hit in the eye by said piano and Brian as well.

"Oh-oh, not my eye again!" Willy say as he cover his eye in pain.

He would then turn towards the camera, revealing his black eye, and shrug as the film ended with an iris out on the blackened eye.

As we see the Griffin mansion as we see Willy and his family enjoying their wealth and living in Hollywood.

" _ **Black-Eye Griffin and his family were among the wealthiest people in Hollywood. They spent their idle time cavorting, doing the Charleston and enjoying America's prosperity following World War I, which, at that time, was called International Civil War II."**_ Frank explain that the family living the sweaty life up till now.

As the family was having a money fight with Willy's cash while one of his kids was saving some for her career.

" _ **But the golden years soon ended. Sadly, Black-Eyed Griffin's voice just wasn't right for the talking pictures."**_ Peter explain how his great grandfather downfall in talking pictures.

The last movie of Willy career show it tile, rko presents "black-eye" griffin in hooky hijinks.

As it scene show Willy with his wife Lois in the kitchen until Brain show up with their kids by pulling their ears. Both kid were in trouble and while their eldest child was holding their youngest.

"Pardon me, madam. I'm the truant officer. I found these two children of yours playing hooky from school." Brian said as he act like an officer and he bring their trouble children.

"Oh, my! This will never do. Will it, Dear?" Lois asked her husband about their children behavior.

"You gotta, Chris you gotta It's important for you to get an education! Get in there and finish your homework!" Willy said as his incomprehensible voice quickly caused his popularity to plummet

"Wow that a lot syrup! "The oldest griffin said as they audience laugh at her antics.

That when Elizabeth Griffin, willy oldest daughter took her father spot in movies and became a talkie film actress when Black Eye Griffin was in a downfall.

Her First appearance was the one with her Father after his voice debut with a different voice dubbing him.

For Daughter of Black Eye Peter is her second appearance in a talking picture, where she had a musical number in front of crowd until her dress blow up.

'The Air Vent', 'Heaven's Devils' and 'Public Humiliation' is just about her get her dress lifted and ripped off.

'Which way to Wyoming?' Is about her on a railroad road trip in 1905. Also, her first colored motion picture.

" _ **As Elizabeth career grew her father's fell down, Black-eye griffin struggled to make ends meet until he died tragically in the same manner as 78% of Americans at that time."**_ Peter explain that Willy career was in the toilet now and he was struggle to ends meet.

As it show Willy in card fight until he gotten a royal flush and he got stabbed in said card fight

" _ **He was stabbed in a card fight."**_ Frank explain Willy eventually died from being stabbed in a card game.

"It was a simpler time. It was a better time." Peter said as he think they will do better in this era than his grandfather.

"What happen to Elizabeth griffin?" Emily asked on what happened to her great great aunt.

"She end up giving her money away to her relatives and to charity." Frank explain what happen d to Elizabeth Griffin legacy.

"Well, no matter what happens to us, I just hope Meg and Persephone's okay." Lois said as she hopes her daughter are okay.

Meanwhile in the living room, we see the twin sitting on the couch as the burglars are still robbing them.

As Meg and Persephone talk to each other in their minds by mind link.

Meg I have a plan to get us out of this and save the day. Persephone thought of a paln and sent it to her sister mind.

Okay, so what the plan, sis? Meg though to her sister and asked her on her plan.

I need you to distract them long enough for me to kill all the burglars, with whatever means! Persephone thought her plan.

This cause Meg to panic but she calm down and agree with the plan.

"So, is, uh is this, like, the part where you guys have your way with me?" Meg asked him on when they are gonna rape her.

"What?" Burglars said in question.

"You know, where I'm, like, helpless, and you guys take turns. You know?" Meg said as she is trying to persuade the burglars to rape her.

While Persephone get the jump on the other Burglar around the house in secret.

"Oh, no! Oh! God! Oh, no, no, no, no!" burglars said no as he reject her responses.

"What did she say?" Burglars said from the kitchen until he was killed by Persephone in quick way.

"She asked if we were gonna have our way with her." Burglars said what is happing in the living room.

"Ew!" Persephone reply to the burglars of the living room.

As the Burglar is not interested in Meg's responses and he was about to leave toward the kitchen with his partner. But Meg went to stop them.

"No, seriously, I won't scream or anything." Meg said as she tries to get them to agree with the sex.

"No! No! I I sale." Burglars said no again as he was getting freaky out.

But then, Meg jumps one of the thieves as she spots her sister and she notice that Persephone is done with most of the burglars.

Come on! I'm pretty! Meg shouted at the burglar to have sex with her as she distract the last two burglars.

But The Burglar runs behind his friend

"Are you okay?" Burglars asked his friend if he is okay.

"Yeah. I was so scared." Burglar said that he was okay but he was so scared.

That's until they notice that could hear anyone in the house.

"Well not for now dude." Persephone said as she sneaks upon them and she has weapons.

Then we zoom out of the house and we hear the scream of the buglers in pain as they were getting their ass kick by one angry twin.

Then we join the rest of the family, still trapped in the panic room, and are preparing to potentially drown from the sprinklers filling the room up with water. Peter then tells his family about his great uncle.

"Well, it sure would suck if you guys died without hearing the story of my great uncle, Peter Hitler, who was Adolf's favorite brother. "Peter explains his heritage by introducing Peter Hitler and, as Peter is Adolf's brother, Adolf is indirectly related to Peter Griffin.

The scene change to Adolf's office as he working and his brother comes towards him through the door.

"Hey, there you are. Hey, you ready to go check out that new skin flick over at the booben garden?" Peter asked his brother if he ready to go check out that new skin flick.

"Peter, can't you see I'm busy?" Adolf Hitler said to his brother that he is busy.

"Yeah. What are you doing? Stuff?" Peter asked him on what he is doing today.

"Yes." Adolf Hitler said yes.

"Nazi stuff?" Peter asked if he is doing Nazi stuff.

"Yes, Peter." Nazi stuff. Adolf Hitler said his answer hoping that peter will leave him alone.

"Can I help?" Peter asked him if he can help him.

"No, Peter. Just let me work, all right?!" Adolf Hitler tells his brother to leave him alone.

"All right, all right. Okay." Peter Hitler said as he calm down his brother.

As Peter Hitler goes to sit in his chair and does raspberries. Until he tapes his nose up and he distract his brother again.

"Hey. Hey, Addy. Addy, look. Addy, I'm Tojo. Addy. Addy, look. I'm Look. I'm Tojo." Peter Hitler tapes proclaiming that he's "Tojo." Tojo Hideki was the prime minister of Japan during World War II.

"Dadadadadada,I am from Japan. Bwaaam!" Peter Hitler said as he is distracting his brother Adolf with childish antics

That's when Peter look inside his brother's desk until he finds his gun.

"Sweet!' peter said in excitement as he makes gun noise.

"That's what a gun sounds like." Peter said as his makes guns noise.

"Will you stop that?!" Adolf Hitler asked him to stop bugging him.

"Hey, can I borrow 50 marks?" Peter asked him for 50 marks.

"What happened to the 50 marks I gave you last week?" Adolf Hitler asked him on what happened to the 50 marks he gave him last week.

"Aw, come on. Your girlfriend's not cheap. Just kidding. Ah! Look at your face." Peter said as he make fun of Adolf's wife and make sound like a whore.

As Hitler becomes extremely annoyed when Peter asking some annoying question.

"Hey, whatever happened with that art school? You ever gonna take another crack at that?" Peter asks if he was going to try art school again.

"Look, I'm going to do a rally. I'll be back in an hour." Adolf Hitler said to peter that he will be at a rally and he will be back in an hour.

"A rally. Sweet." Peter said as he was about to misbehaving, horse-playing and pantomiming his brother during the speech.

As we join Adolf is making a speech at a rally.

"The days of despair and hardship are over! Today begins a New Order! All of Europe will tremble as Germany take sits rightful place as ruler of the world!" Adolf Hitler said his speech about days of despair and hardship are over! Today begins a New Order! All of Europe will tremble as Germany take sits rightful place as ruler of the world!

"Oh, yeah! Yes." Peter was misbehaving, horse-playing and pantomiming his brother during the speech.

"As I was saying, the time for victory is upon us!" Adolf Hitler said as he continued his speech.

"Victory up the ass, baby! Yeah, come on!" Peter said as he misbehaving, horse-playing and pantomiming his brother during the speech.

"A new a new world! A better world! A German world"! Adolf Hitler continues his speech.

"Yeah! Germanator! I'll be back! Whoo!" Peter Hitler's congrats sayings is "Yeah Germinater.'I'll be back.'" refers to the Terminator's line "I'll be back" which is said by Arnold Schwarzenegger.

"Yeah! We will emerge as the dominant people!" Adolf Hitler said about they will emerge as the dominant people.

"And it's all 'cause of you guys. You know what? You guys, with your marching and your letters and your phone calls, this is all thanks to you. You made this happen, you guys My God! Give yourselves a round of applause! Come on. You deserve it. You deserve it. Hey, what do you say we all head over to the Buzenpuken, eh? Free beer on this motherfuhrer! Eh?! Come on!" Peter Hitler calls Adolf/Addie a Motherführer, a pun on "motherfucker". "Führer" means "leader" in German and was Hitler's official title.

As Peter Hitler was able to provide Adolf Hitler with success at his Munich speech, although annoying Adolf greatly.

Now we join Adolf was in his office with his wife as he was stress out by peter behavior.

I just….I—can't take it anymore. He driving me crazy. Adolf said to his wife on he can't stand his brother any more.

Take it easy, honey. Eva Well said to calm down her husband.

Knock, knock. Emily said as she enter the room, as she is named Emily Hitler. She is would be Nazi decedent. Though she had brief appearance showing her at the holocaust for her disability.

As peter enter the room.

"Hey there bro. how's it going? Getting a lot of positive feedback about that rally. Lots of positive feedback. Everyone loved my germinator joke." Peter said as he was excited for what he did in the rally but his brother was madder than before.

"Look, peter. I want you to move out." Adolf said to his brother to get out of his house now.

"What!" Emily said in shocked of the tone of his brother

"You can't live here anymore. You're a pain in my ass. I want you out." Adolf said to him that he is a pain in his ass and he want him out.

"Oh, come on man. That's not fair. Look, if this is about the whole me-leaving-the-seat-up-thing, I mean, that's is really a –a big deal?" Peter said as he take a sit on Adolf desk.

While Peter was playing with one of Hitler's guns

"Yes, it is, peter, because sometimes at night when Eva has to go, if she goes in there and the seat is up and its dark she sits in the water." Adolf explain that sometimes at night when Eva has to go, if she goes in there and the seat is up and it's dark she sits in the water

"No way. Get the hell out of here." Peter said as he find it funny.

Until Peter accidentally shot Adolf and it shocked both Emily and Eva at the same time.

"Oh, no you stupid idiot! What did you do?" Eva Well shouted at peter for being an idiot and for shooting her husband.

"Oh, my god! All right listen, there'll be time for grieve, but you—you go to tell me first, did you actually sit in the water ore was that…" Peter calm her down and then asked her if she really did fall off the seat.

Until Peter was still playing with one of Hitler's guns and he accidentally shot his brother's wife, Eva Well.

That when Emily panic and she grab the gun. She then killed peter with said gun, she then blame peter for the deaths of her brother and his wife on him. She then move to America and live in New Jersey to start a new family.

"That's pretty much all there is to tell, kids. The Griffin family history is a rich tapestry." Frank said as he finish the family history.

"But since we're all gonna die, there's one more secret I feel I have to share with you. I did not care for The Godfather." Peter said as the story ends as he admits to the family that he did not care for The Godfather

What? Lois said in shocked

"What the hell you just said, you fat sack of shit!" Frank said in anger on what peter just said.

"Did not care for _The Godfather_." Peter said as he feel a bit uncomfortable next to frank. As he is glowing red now.

"How can you even say that, dad?" Chris asked on how he can say that.

"Didn't like it." Peter reply in a bland tone.

"Peter, it's so good! It's like the perfect movie!" Lois said as the move was perfect.

"This is what everyone always said. Whenever they say..." Peter said as he think it wasn't perfect.

"Robert De Niro, Al Pacino, I mean, you never see, Robert Duvall!" Chris said the name of the actors.

"Fine. Fine. Fine actor, did not like the movie." Peter said that Robert Duvall was a fine actor but still didn't like the movie.

"Why not?" Brian asked him on why he doesn't like the movie.

"Did not...couldn't get into it." Peter said that he couldn't get into it

"Explain yourself. What didn't you like about it?" Lois asked him to explain himself. What didn't he like about it?

"It insists upon itself, Lois."Peter said that the movie insists upon itself.

"What?" Lois said in shocked on what peter just said.

"It insists upon itself." Peter repeat what he just said.

"What does that even mean?" John asked on what that even means.

"Because it has a valid point to make, it's insisted!' Tyler said as the movie has a valid point to make, it's insisted.

"It takes forever getting in; you spend like six and a half hours... You know, I can't get through, I've never even finished the movie. I've never seen the ending." Peter explains that it takes forever getting in; he spend like six and a half hours, he can't get through, he never even finished the movie Or seen the ending.

"You've never seen the ending?!' Frank and Chris said in anger.

"What the hell, grandpa, the ending is the best part of the movie!" Frank Jr said as he is shocked to find out that peter didn't see the ending.

"How can you say you don't like it if you haven't even given it a chance?" Stewie questions this logic.

"I agree with Stewie. It's not even fair." Lois said interjects with, "I agree with Stewie."

"I have tried on three separate occasions to get through it, and I get to the scene where all the guys are sitting around on the easy chairs." Peter said his complaints that he tried on three separate occasions to get through it, and he get to the scene where all the guys are sitting around on the easy chairs.

"Yeah, it's a great scene. We love that scene." Lois and Emily said that they love that seen

"I have no idea what they're talking about. It's like they're speaking a different... You know, that's where I lose interest in it. Peter said that he has no idea what they're talking about. It's like they're speaking a different.

"You know what, Peter, this isn't about the move this is about you not being the main character in the show!" Frank said as he figure out peter's confession is about to get even with his place in the show not about the godfather.

"What show, I don't know what you and the movie are talking about?" Peter reply in anger.

"This show, you idiot, ever since I came into Meg's life, you became the butt of the joke in the series and you had the balls to hate the godfather, just so you can get a rise out of me huh!" Frank said as he expose peter's plan.

As this confuse everyone in the bunker except Emily since she knew that her father will get his just desserts soon. Until Chris chimes in and return back to the argument about the godfather.

"They're speaking Italian!" Chris said in shocked to frank response and peter answer to the movie's speaking

"The language they're speaking is a language of subtlety; it's something you don't understand." Lois reply with the language they're speaking is a language of subtlety; it's something that peter will never understand.

This cause peter to feel bad and mad at the same time.

"I love _The Money Pit_. That is my answer to that statement." Peter declaring his love for The Money Pit.

"Exactly." Lois said as she agree with that statement.

"Well, there you go." Peter said as he is finish arguing with his family.

"Whatever man, I still gonna get you for this insult." Frank said as he will get even with peter by the end of this chapter.

"I like that movie too." Chris said as he like the movie too.

At the last minute Joe rescues them, draining the water out of the room, thus saving their lives.

"Thank God you guys are okay!" Joe said as he is glad that the family is safe.

"Wow! You saved our lives, Mr. Swanson! "Chris said as he thank Joe for saving them.

"We've captured the burglars but most of them are dead." Joe informs the family he has arrested the burglars

Oh, thank God. Lois said as she hug her girls.

This caused Frank to smile as he whispers something to Joe about Peter problem with the godfather.

This cause Joe to look shocked at peter and he caught on with Frank Plan, so Joe proceed it with the charges with the guilty party in the family.

"Unfortunately, they're pressing sexual harassment charges against your daughters until Persephone kill most of them." Joe said that they were about pressing harassment charges against Meg but Persephone mange to get them drop since she killed most of the burglars.

"Well, that was a close call!' Meg said as she feel relief of get off Scott free.

"But since you're their father, you know, Peter should probably get a lawyer." Joe mentions that the crooks press charges of sexual harassment to peter instead since the girls are minors.

"Oh, sweetie, thanks for keeping our spirits up with your stories." Lois said to Frank and peter.

"Your daughter's a sexual predator. If you don't do anything, you peter could go to jail for a long time." Joe: warns the family will need a lawyer to combat the charges, but the family ignores him

"Don't thank me, Lois. Thank my and Pop's ancestors for living lives of greatness." Frank said to Lois as he distract her so peter can go to jail for what he said about the godfather.

"All right, guys, just take him away." Joe said as he finally gives up and takes Peter away while the family ignores him.

"LOIS! HELP! AHH! LOIS!" Peter said as he cries for help while being drag away.

"Have fun at Jail, Pops! I hope he does, that Dummy really deserves it." Frank said as he thinks that Peter is just going to a Jail for what he said about the Godfather and he tells Him to enjoy himself, assuring Lois that he'll be fine.

Scene shifts to Frank Jr and Stewie one last time.

"Eh, all right, I'll buy that, but it still feels like it's missing something." Frank Jr asked Stewie that this chapter is missing something

They think for a moment, then... they found it.

"The song!" Frank Jr and Stewie said together as the chapter is missing a song.

"Okay, how about something like... Zupa, daya! Zupa, daya! " Frank Jr said as he sing a caveman song.

"Do it again." Stewie asked him to do it again.

As the song plays, Frank Jr and Stewie and Ur-Frank Jr, Ur-Stewie and the gang sing and dance the Song: "Zubada".

 **All:** Zupa, daya!  
Zupa, daya!  
Zupa, daya!  
Zupa, daya!  
Zupa, daya!

 **Korralock/CavesideGirls:** (Ooooh...)  
 **All:** Zupa, daya!  
Zupa, daya!  
Zupa, daya!  
Zupa, daya!

 **Tyler:** (Yaiiii, yai yai yai yai yai yai yai yai yaaiioh!)

 **All:** Zupa, daya!  
Zupa, daya!  
Zupa, daya!

Frank can be seen playing a guitar made of bones, while Stewie is playing a traditional drum.

 **Stewie:** Ooga ooga ooga ooga.

 **FrankJr:** Ooh chaka ooh chaka!

 **Korralock/CavesideGirls:** Kay carga mana hoo! (Hoo!)

 **Lois/Peter/Emily/Jackbunk:** Ya ya ya!

 **Korralock/CavesideGirls:** Gunga larga mungalo!

As John play his belly with Chris while Tyler also plays drums.

 **Chrisgard/Johngar/Tylerger:** Zooga ooga chonga!

 **Korralock/CavesideGirls:** Beep boppa zabodu!

 **All:** Chucka lacka moo eetchie she ma goo!

Chucka lacka moo eetchie she ma goo!  
Chucka lacka moo eetchie  
Eetchie she ma ooga!

As John play Tyler like a hacky sack and While Ur-Stewie plays a xylophone made of woods, and the sticks (which are used to play the xylophone) are made up of bones.

Ooga Ooga

 **Stewie:** Ooga ooga ooga ooga.

 **All:** Chucka lacka moo eetchie to ma goo!

As then scene fade to black and the chapter ends.

 **Chapter End**

 **I hope everyone enjoyed! This is thanking for pen123 and Family Guy Fan writer 15, Thank you all for the cutaway, scenes, favoring, having me on alerts and with that. So enjoy and see you final chapters in season 4.**


	29. Chapter 78 - Stewie B Goode

**Chapter 78 - Stewie B. Goode**

 **Narrator** _  
_ _Fresh out the net box  
Stop, look, and watch  
Ready yet, get set  
It's Family Guy!_

We see paparazzi taking photos of the cast as they come out of the limo and they walk on the red carpet.

 **Chorus:** _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

First it show Frank waling out of the limo with a poster with the words "oh" and he poses for the camera.

Then its shows Meg comes in looking all sexy as she signs autographs while she winks at the fans.

Then it turn to Lois comes in hopping while grabbing rose as she gives a kiss toward the fans.

 **Chorus:** _Check it, check it, check it  
Now this is just an introduction  
Before I blow your mind  
The show is All of That and yes we do it all the time_

Then it shows Frank Jr poses as he pull his hat down his chest as he throws a rose to the Fans.

Then next person to show up on the carpet is Stewie. As he flips his hat back to his head while he give autographs to fans.

Then Brian comes in sliding on the red carpet as he waves at the fan as he walks in _._

 **Chorus:** _So sit your booty on the floor or in a chair  
Ground or in the air  
Just don't go nowhere_

Then Emily comes in give autographs as she smiles at the fans as she tells one of her fans to call her.

Then the scene shows Persephone puts a rose on her mouth with a sexy angry look on her face.

 **Chorus:** _Cause everything we do  
It's all of that!  
When entertaining you  
We all of that!_

Then Chris shimming down the carp as he gives the fan a shout out.

Then Peter slide towards the carpet as he flips his hat back on his head.

 **Chorus:** _My posse and my crew  
It's all of that!  
So sit still cause we're coming right back_

Then the scene shows John throws a rose at his fans.

As the scene, changes to Tyler puts on rose his mouth as he gives everyone thumbs up.

 **Chorus:** _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

Then scene change to the Family Guy MC Cast walks down the stairs as they take a group photo while looking gangsters of the 80. All this while music ends as the scene fades to black.

The scene opens at the Quahog Community Swimming Pool. As people are swing in the pool, while the Griffin twins pass by a kid on a water slide.

"Whee!"The kids said as his slide down the water slide in excitement.

Then we join Chris and Tyler on top of a diving border as they try to reach out to their mother, Lois Griffin. As Lois was putting on suntan lotion on her skin.

"Mom, look! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom, look at me! Look at me! Mom! Mom! Mom!" Chris shouted out for his mom to look at him make swan dive into the pool.

"How was that?" Chris asked her how his splash was.

"Your third somersault was a little sloppy. However, what do I know, huh? It's been so long since I qualified for the Olympics." Lois explain that she was almost qualified for the Olympics.

"You were in the Olympics?" Chris asked her on why she was in the Olympics.

"No, I got pregnant with Meg and Persephone and I couldn't go. Now I'm pro-choice. Lois telling Chris how she went pro-choice after her pregnancy with Meg cost her the chance to be in the Olympics

Now we join John As he watched Brian at the edge of the pool holding a glass of whiskey. He came up with an idea when Persephone walked by.

"Hey, hon. Go crouch behind Brian. I thought maybe you and I could push him in the pool." John told Persephone, who chuckled at his plan and agreed to volunteer.

Persephone quietly snuck behind Brian and crouch waiting for her boyfriend. John stretched his arms and legs getting himself ready and then soon after, ran toward Brian. However, he soon slipped on a puddle and ended up flying towards the dog. Brian, though, walked away, resulting in John accidentally knocking Persephone into the pool with him. The two soon emerged from the pool and each coughed out water for air.

"*cough**couch* Uh, sorry, babe, are you alright?" John asked Persephone to see if she was okay.

"*cough* Yeah. *cough* I can't see. I must've lost my contacts." Persephone said realizing that she can barely see.

"I'll go get them. Be right back." John said diving deep into the pool to retrieve Persephone's contacts, which he did and took her hand to the edge of the pool.

After getting out of the pool, John handed Persephone back her contacts, who put them back on. They soon realized that everyone was staring at them, all wide-eyed and some of the parents were covering their childrens' eyes.

It was at the middle of the pool that they recognized, John's swimming trunks and Persephone's one-piece swimsuit were there floating in the water. This could only mean one thing, one that John and Persephone dreaded.

The two looked down and saw that they were now completely naked. In front of everyone!

They both screamed in horror at their situation, covering their privates and ran straight to the changing booths, entering the ones with their clothes inside.

As we see Quagmire and an unknown woman leaving a pump cabin after having oral sex inside

"See ya later, honey. I guess I can't go swimmin' for half an hour. Giggedy-giggedy-giggedy-goo!" Quagmire's comment her not swin since they had awesome sex.

"Hey, Stewie. How about Daddy teaches you how to swim?" Peter asked his son if he wants to learn to swim in the pool.

"Go... away... fat man." Stewie said in a quit tone so he continue to tan his skin.

Then Peter picks up Stewie so he can throw him in pool.

"Dah! What do you think you're doing? No means no!" Stewie said in question for what his father doing.

As Stewie hangs onto Peter's arm while Peter tries to get Stewie in the pool.

"Come on, Stewie! In... the... pool!" Peter said as he tries to shake him off his arm.

"No! No, I don't want to die! I want to live! Live!" Stewie shouted at peter that he does not want this as he hang on his arm like a monkey.

"Dad, stop it. He's never gonna learn like that." Emily shouted at her father to stop what he doing to him.

"Maybe this summer he and Frank Jr should take swim lessons." Frank said to his father in law that the babies need to take swim lesson.

Ads Both Emily and Lois nodded in agreement.

"Would ya like that, Stewie?" Lois Encouraged Stewie to take swimming lessons.

"Hmm. Well, I guess it couldn't be worse than that summer that me and Frank Jr spent in India." Stewie said as he set up a cutaway about him and Frank Jr time in india.

 **Cutaway**

Indiana, Frank Jr and Stewie as both Short Round appear in the temple of doom.

"Whatever you do, short-round, don't touch anything" Indiana Jones told his sidekicks.

"Okay, Dr. Jones, I no touch anything." Frank Jr said as he and Stewie to walk towards the wall until they accidently hit a trap.

"Indy!" The woman said in panic as they were about to be smosh by spikes.

"Lady only here 'cause she humping director." Stewie said about the woman and Frank Jr nodded in agreement.

 **Cutaway ends**

Now back with Peter, Frank and Frank Jr as the go to the video store.

Whoa. Look at this place. What happened to Sal's Video? Peter asked the clerk

We bought them out two weeks ago. Welcome to Lackluster Video. 50,000 stores nationwide. The clerk explained that Lackluster Video bought Sal's Video out two weeks ago.

"Yeah, well, uh, you know, I used to come into Sal's once or twice a week...to rent movies from his, uh... Back room." Peter asked for a particular movie.

"You know what I mean? Room for, uh, adults only. Catch my drift? The, uh, kind of movies where there are X-rated pornos...and fully nude people fornicate for the camera and stuff comes out." Frank said what kind of movie that they want.

As Frank Jr and peter get close up at the clerk's face.

"Get Our meaning?" Frank Jr and Peter said together about what they mean of what kind of movie they all want. .

"Oh, I'm sorry, but Lackluster Video...takes a strong moral stance against pornography...open-mindedness and non-Christians." The clerk said that Lackluster Video takes a strong moral stance against pornography open-mindedness and non-Christians.

"Oh, yeah? Then why do you rent Prince of Tides? Barbra Streisand is Jewish." Frank said about Prince of Tides as it has Barbra Streisand and she is Jewish,

"We edit some of our movies." The clerk said as he set up a cutaway about some of the edit movies.

 **Cutaway**

"I think I'm in love with you, Doctor" a man said in a psychiatrist chair.

"No, Tom, you're wrong. You don't love me. You love the idea of me" Barbara Streissand said as her nose was pixelated.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the movie store with tome coming up the front desk.

"Hi, I'm Tom Tucker. Do me a favor and fill this bag...with motion pictures featuring women-on-women or anything with an amputee." Tom asked the clerk to fill the bag with motion pictures featuring women-on-women or anything with an amputee.

"Save your money, Tucker. This place doesn't have porn. They think it's immoral." Frank said to tom that the movie place doesn't get out porn anymore.

This cause peter to get mad as hell while Frank Jr take out a Minnie piano to play background music as peter rant to tom tucker.

"You know, that really grinds my gears. Where in the bible does it say that a man can't fire off some knuckle-children in the privacy of his own neighbor's living room while his neighbor's at work because I don't have a DVD player? Well, I don't know where it says it because the Bible was way too long to read!" Peter starts ranting on how the new video store will not sell pornography.

This cause Frank, Frank Jr and Tom Tucker to smile.

"Hey, that was quite a rant there. You know, we're looking for an everymen to rant about petty, nonsensical irritants...to replace our "Spotlight on the Middle East" segment." Tom wants to give Peter his own segment called "You Know What Really Grinds My Gears?"

"Hey! Pops will be great at that! We've been dying to get back on television ever since I stopped hosting Family Feud." Frank said that they will love too and he set up a cutaway about himself hosting Family feud.

 **Cutaway**

As Frank is dress like Richard Dawson and he is the host of the show, Family Feud.

"How are you, Betsy? Welcome to the show. You are a lovely young woman." Frank said hello to one of his contestants and he shake her hands.

As Betsy blush by meeting frank until something perverted happened.

"Stick my hand up there and feel that one. And that one." Frank said as he touched a woman inappropriately by feel from one of the female contestant's breasts.

This causes Betsy to feel violated and at the same time, she was very Horney as balls.

"We're looking for somethin' you shop for at the mall. Three seconds." Frank asked her about looking for something' you shop for at the mall.

Then Betsy write her number on a piece of paper and she shove it under Frank's shirt very fast so her family doesn't about what she is going to do to Frank when family feud is over.

 **Cutaway ends**

Now we join Lois, Meg, Emily, Frank Jr and Stewie at the Quahog Community Swimming Pool for their lesson in swimming.

"Come on, Stewie. Don't be afraid. It's just water. It's not gonna bite." Lois said to Stewie in her arm that the pool not gonna eat him.

"Shut up! I know it's not going to bite, stupid. What a stupid thing to say. You drown in it, you moron. It doesn't have to bite you." Stewie said that he know that already.

That when the couch come toward Meg and Lois to talk to their babies.

"Hey, little guy. Take a look at Brad over there. He's my star pupil. See how brave he is? The couch said to the babies about his best students.

As he point out Brad who is swimming for his age and he is the best swimmer in his class.

This caused Stewie to blow off his couch with Frank Jr shrugged it off.

"He's not brave. I'll tell you who was brave- Gandhi." Stewie said as he set up a cutaway about Gandhi.

 **Cutaway**

Ghandi performs stand-up comedy.

"And the black people are always like, "Hey, bitch. " And the Indian people, we do not call our women in such a way" Ghandi said.

"Boo! You suck!" someone shouted.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the pool with the parents and kids.

Okay, parents. Next week's the toddler's swim meet.

"It's gonna be a lot of fun!" Frank Jr said as he and Stewie spotted brad as he was swimming on his back passing them by.

"You know, that is a remarkable resemblance, Brad. You, on your back, in the water- You look like one of my stools!" Stewie said as he insults him as he swimming away.

Now back at the Mallque/Griffin house in the dinner room as we see Stewie reading a book, the mechanics of swimming.

This cause Stewie to panic and turn to his favorite people.

"So, is it just pool water that turns you into a sniveling girl, or all water?" Brian asked him if the pool water that turns you into a sniveling girl, or all water?

"Mom! Brian just asked me if it's just pool water that turns me into a sniveling girl, or all water!" Stewie complains to his favorite sister and his mother about Brian mess with him.

"I heard that Olympic swimmers shave all the hair off their head and their private areas...to make 'em move faster." Chris said about Olympic swimmers shave all the hair off their head and their private areas...to make 'em move faster.

"I don't need some stupid gimmick. Soon as I improve my technique, I'll outswim Brad as easily as I took care of that other boy." Stewie said as he make another cutaway about the other kids that Stewie killed.

 **Cutaway**

We join Frank Jr and Stewie play with a blonde hair kid with catch of ball.

"Casper, go long!" Stewie said to his kid as Frank Jr throw the ball.

As Casper was trying to catch the ball, he dies by a ball throw gone awry. He then return the ball back to Frank Jr and Stewie as a ghost now.

"Ooh, sorry about that, man." Stewie apologies to Casper for killing him.

"Are you dead?" Frank Jr asked his friend that if he is dead.

"Yeah, whatever dudes. I was gonna off myself on Tuesday anyway." Casper explained and he forgave him, because he was going to kill himself a few days later anyway.

 **Cutaway ends**

Now back at the dinner table with whole family.

"Hey, Peter, shouldn't you be getting ready for your first news segment?" Lois asked him if he getting ready for your first news segment.

"Yeah. I'm a little nervous, though. I'm not sure what to talk about." Peter said that he was nervous and he doesn't know what to talk about.

You could talk about me. Persephone said

"Okay, honey. I'll talk about you. "Hey, I'm Persephone. I go to school. I cut myself. " Peter said as he make fun of Persephone.

As everyone laughs at Persephone except John, he then jump peter and he punches him in the face fifty times.

"Spot on. Spot on." Stewie said as he agree with john give peter a beat down.

"Oh, Peter, you'll be great. You're a natural. I always said they never should have replaced you on Roseanne." Lois telling Peter that he never should not have been replaced him with John Goodman on Roseanne.

 **Cutaway**

As we see Peter Griffin and Roseanne Barr are seen acting a scene.

Hey, Rosie, have you seen Darlene? Peter said as Dan Conner.

"(mumbling)...and junk." Rosie said something about it

"Uh, I-I don't, uh- I can't, uh-What?" Peter said in question on what she just said.

 **Cutaway ends**

Now we join Tom and Diane at channel 5 news

"In other news, after several grueling days of frightening uncertainty...I finally get my period." Diane said about finally having her period after several grueling days of frightening uncertainty/

"Well, Diane, I'm sure you and your brother...must be devastated by the loss of the two-headed offspring that might have been. We now go to Peter Griffin and Frank Jr for "You Know What Really Grinds My Gears?" Tom said as he introduce peter and Frank Jr's segment of "You Know What Really Grinds My Gears?"

"Thanks, Tom. You know what really grinds my gears? Nobody's come up with a new priest and a rabbi joke in like thirty years. You know? I mean, okay, ah, umm. Priest and a rabbi go, go onto the supermarket, and, uh, the priest wants to buy a ham. And the rabbi says, "Ah, I can't eat it. It's forbidden." Couldn't eat it." Frank Jr said his rant about priest and a rabbi joke.

"Not allowed, pigs are like superheroes to them. Is it perfect? No, but I, I don't see you coming up with anything. And that people, is what grinds our gears. Tom." Peter said the rest of the rant and he passed back to tom tucker.

Now we join Stewie decided to shave his privates after Chris mentions that Olympic swimmers shaved their privates.

As Brian and Emily are waiting outside the bathroom while Brian knocks.

"Common, your gonna be all day." Brian shout at the door for Stewie to come out.

"I'm brushing my teeth." Stewie said from the bathroom.

"Seriously? Your a baby, and you've only got a few..." Emily said as she put her hand on the doorknob.

"Yeah, how long would it take- Oh god." Brian said as he flinched after Emily opened the door to witness Stewie all naked covered in shaving cream while he shaving his body.

But while Emily gasped at what she witnessed.

"Oh hey..." Stewie said hello to Brian and Emily

As Brian feels embarrassed, while Emily felt shocked.

"Uh... wow." Brian said to what he just watch in the bathroom.

"Stewie, what are you doing?" Emily asked Stewie on what is he doing.

"...doing a hair removal there?" Brian said about Stewie's hair removal.

"Oh uh... yeah..." Stewie said yes to his response.

As he turn to Emily and Brian to asked them something.

"You know feel free to say no to this... Would you shave my coin purse?" Stewie said

"Huh ho ho ho! Oh ho ho! Ho ho no... No way man. Oh-ho... Ho you freaking god..." Brian said as he laughs his answer no and he walk away while laughing.

"Yeah Stewie, there is absolutely no way we would do that." Emily said no to her brother about his request.

As Emily grabs a towel and wipes the shaving cream off Stewie.

"What were you thinking? Did you really have to listen to what Chris had said earlier?" Emily asked him on what was he thinking.

"I think was Aunt Emily?" Frank Jr said as he come into the bathroom to see what the matter.

As Emily finish clean Stewie up and he look at himself in the mirror.

"There we are. Balder than Michael Chiklis- And bears him an odd resemblance too. I say, they could be brothers." Stewie said as he sets up a cutaway about his balls and Michael Chiklis being brothers.

 **Cutaway**

The ensuing episode of The Shield shows with Chiklis and "Det. Scrotes", Stewie's testicles, is also absent.

"Detective Vic Mackey has finally met his match. Just when you thought The Shield couldn't get anymore intense." Announcer person said about the show

"Hey, Mackey, your brother's here" Cop said to vic about his brother being here.

"I'm sorry, Detective. I don't have a brother." Detective Vic Mackey said to his fellow cop that he does not have a brother.

"Hello, Vic." Detective Scrotes said hello to his brother as he enter the room to get a drink of water.

"Detective Scrotes. I told you I never wanted to see you again." Detective Vic Mackey shouted at him for coming here.

"Yeah? Well, I got a listenin' problem." Detective Scrotes said as he stands up to his brother. As he finish his water and crush his paper cup in anger.

 **Cutaway ends**

Now we join Lois, Meg, Emily, Frank Jr and Stewie at the Quahog Community Swimming Pool for the swimming race.

"Okay. We're gonna have our first fun little race. When I blow this whistle, I want all the parents...to throw their children into the pool. If your child doesn't resurface right away, they're probably just trying to get attention." Couch explain what going down in the pool.

"Ready?" Couch said to the parents to get ready for the race.

"Good luck, Stewie." Brad said as despite being a very good swimmer, Brad is very nice, and tries to make friends with Stewie.

"Good luck, Stewie." That is you. That's what you sound like. Stewie said as he mock him.

Then the race begins and Stewie and Frank Jr start swimming. This will caused Stewie Attempting to beat him in a race

"You're mine, Brad! Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn!" Stewie said as Stewie ends up barely leaving the starting line.

As Stewie nearly drowns in the process, while Brad finishes in first place. Frank Jr went back to save his uncle like a boss until he notice something gross.

"Ew! A Band-Aid." Frank Jr said in the bottom of the pool with his uncle hugging him in agreement.

This caused both Lois and Meg to pick up their babies out of the pool.

"I've got ya, sweetie." Lois said as she put Stewie in her arms.

As both Frank Jr and Stewie notice, that brad has won the race.

"Good for you, Brad!" First parent said good job to brad.

"Oh, isn't he adorable?" Second parent said in agreement

"He's much better than my kids." Three parent said about brad being better than his kids.

"So, you think you can make me look like a fool, do you? You little bastard! Well, guess again!" Stewie said as he plots to kill Brad for humilated him.

As Feeling humiliated and wanting to kill his nemesis, Stewie rigs a lifeguard chair with dynamite and lures Brad beneath it by putting a piece of marzipan under it.

"Oh, Brad! There's a piece of marzipan over here for you." Stewie said as his point out a piece of candy over by the lifeguard chair.

However, Stewie's detonator malfunctions.

"What the deuce?" Stewie said in question as he tries to blow up the tower with brad near again by bring his remote closer.

Until he blows himself up and he is crushed beneath the lifeguard chair.

Then Stewie awakens in Hell.

"Hell? Now, that's a bit much, don't you think? I mean, sure, I've spent my entire life trying to kill my mother. But who hasn't? You know, really, for hell this isn't that bad." Stewie said in shocked as to the predicament he is in.

While In Hell, Stewie meets Steve Allen

"Hi, there. I'm Steve Allen." Steve Allen said as he introduce himself to Stewie.

"Oh, hello." Stewie said hello back to him.

"All right. Let's do this." Steve Allen said as he take off his shirt.

"Ah!" Stewie screamed as he thought Steve was going to have sex with him.

This cause Stewie to abruptly brought back to Earth, as he is able to climb out of the collapsed tower.

"I'm alive. I'm alive!" Stewie said as he glad to be alive and not having sex with Steve Allen.

As Lois rushes over to her baby and put him in her arms.

"Oh! Stewie! My baby. I thought I'd lost you. Oh!" Lois said as she was worried about him and Lois thought she would lose him.

"I can't believe it. All these years I thought I was living in hell...but it gets so much worse. This is a sign. Well, from this day forward... Stewart Gilligan Griffin will be a good boy." Stewie said as he decides to change his ways.

Meanwhile back in the hotel room in hell with Steve Allen.

"I don't understand. I was only gonna ask him to fix my collar." Steve said, as he really just wanted Stewie to fix his collar.

"Huh. Well, I wonder what they got on TV in hell." Steve said as he tries to watch TV in Hell, but the only show that is on is Who's the Boss?

Now we join Brian, Emily getting coffee in the kitchen as Stewie get something off the oven.

"Morning, Brian, Emily. Beautiful day, isn't it? Kind of day that makes you glad to be alive." Stewie said as he put his tray of fudge on the table.

This cause Frank Jr to get excited cause he like fudge.

"Stewie made fudge, Brian." Frank Jr said in excitement as he eat big chuck of fudge.

"Uh, okay." Brian said as he is weirder out by Frank Jr eat fudged like a weirdo.

As Stewie move chair behind Emily's and him, start massage her back.

"Wha- Uh- What, uh- What are you-What are you doing?" Emily asked Stewie on why he is massaging her back.

"Well, from the feel of it...working through quite a few years of stress. The thing is, when I died, I got a glimpse of where I was going...and, well, I did not like it one bit." Stewie explain to Brian and Emily on what just happened to him yesterday and he going to change himself.

"Wow. I am so uncomfortable right now." Brian said, as he feel uncomfortable as Stewie smothering Brian with affection.

"So, I've resolved to change my ways...because I know now who I want to be." Stewie said to Brian as he set up cutaway about himself singing "I Have Confidence in Me" as Maria von Trapp from The Sound of Music.

 **Cutaway**

"I Have Confidence" is a song from the 1965 film The Sound of Music. it is sung by Stewie Griffin dressed as Maria von Trapp.

 **Stewie**  
 _I have confidence in sunshine  
I have confidence in rain  
I have confidence that spring will come again  
Besides which, you see I have confidence in me_

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the kitchen with Stewie, Frank Jr, Emily and Brian.

"There you are. Drink plenty of water." Stewie said as he was done with the massage. While Frank Jr was on the table full stomach as he ate too much fudge.

As Stewie turn to leave the kitchen until he turn to Brian and Emily.

"Hey, Brian and Emily." Stewie asked them by their name as they turn to him.

"Yeah?" Emily reply to answer his question

"Thanks for listening." Stewie said his thanks to them as he leave the kitchen.

"That was weirdly nice of him!" Emily said, as she was weird out by Stewie's new good persona. As Brian and Frank Jr nodded in agreement.

"Boy that was more disturbing than that cartoon I saw the other day." Brian said to Emily as he set up a cutaway about a cartoon that was disturbing.

 **Cutaway**

A scene shows Elmer Fudd hunting bugs bunny.

"Shh! Be "vewy," "vewy" quiet. I'm hunting "wabbits."" Elmer Fudd told the audience as he approached Bugs Bunny.

"Nyah, what's up, Doc?" Bugs Bunny asked as Elmer Fudd shot him.

"Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh!" Bugs Bunny complained as he bleeds to death.

Elmer then breaks Bugs Bunny's neck and carries his bloody body.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join the family on the couch in the living room. As Frank was eating, some popcorn with Meg until Lois shush everyone.

"Shh! Quiet! Quiet! Frank Jr and Your father's on." Lois said as she wants to watch Frank Jr and Peter's "What grinds my gears."

"You know what really grinds my gears? This Lindsay Lohan. Eh? Lindsay Lohan with all those little outfits...jumpin' around there on stage half-naked...with your little outfits. I'm just sittin' here with my Soda." Frank Jr said a rant about Lindsay Lohan and her behavior.

"So, you know, what am I supposed to do? What do you want? You know, are we gonna go out? Is that what you are trying'- Why are you... Leaping' around there...throwing' those things all up, um, over there in my face? Huh? What do you want, Lindsay? Tell me what you want! Well, I'll tell you what you want. You want nothin'. You want nothin'. All right? Because we all know that no woman anywhere wants to have sex with anyone...and to titillate us with any thoughts otherwise is just bogus." Peter said as he hate her being sexy and tease.

Meanwhile back at the living room with Emily and Lois.

"Oh! He is so right-on. Women are such teases." Emily said in agreement with Frank Jr and Peter statement on Lindsay being a tease.

"Us women can be stupid sometimes. That's why I went back to men." Lois said about her gender can be stupid sometimes and that's why she went back to men.

This shocked Frank, John, Tyler and the twins by that comment.

"oh... ok, mom..." Meg said as she and Persephone both got off that couch.

Then they walks out form the living room with Frank and john following them.

As Tyler and Chris moves closer to Lois.

"Go on..." Tyler asking her to continued.

Now back to Frank Jr on channel 5 news.

"Another thing that grinds my gears is when me and grandpa can't find the droids that we're looking for." Frank Jr said about how he and peter cannot find the droids there are looking for.

As the scene changes to Stormtroopers are shown watching the program.

"Yeah, me too. What gives with that?" Stormtrooper said agreeing with him.

Now back with channel 5 news.

And that's "What grinds my gears." Peter said as the segment was over and everyone was clean up.

"Clear." The director clear the show as everyone relax and the clean-up crew into the stage.

"Remove my microphone." Tom asked his clean to remove his microphone.

However, everyone came to peter to congratulate him as the segment instantly becomes popular.

"Great job, Mr. Griffin." Tom's cleaner said to peter.

"Great job, Frank Jr." Man 1 said in agreement.

"Just terrific." Man 2 said it was terrific

"Just fantastic." Man 3 said it was fantastic.

"Oh, this gig is even better than that job I had providing nighttime heat for Lara Flynn Boyle." Peter said as he set up a cutaway about himself providing nighttime heat for Lara Flynn Boyle.

 **Cutaway**

As Peter Griffin once provided nighttime heat for Flynn Boyle using his stomach fat, while Frank Jr covers peter with a blanket.

"Thanks so much, Peter. I was getting a little chilly." Lara Flynn Boyle said as she thanks him for warming her up.

"No sweat, Lara. Peter said to Lara that it is fine.

"Hey, you have yourself a fine sleep." Frank Jr said as he goes to sleep.

That until peter went to talk with Lara.

"Hey, Lara." Peter said to Lara.

"Yeah?" Lara Flynn Boyle answer him.

"Is Dylan McDermott nice in person?" Peter asked her if Dylan McDermott nice in person.

"Yeah." Lara Flynn Boyle said yes to peter's question.

"Good." Peter said as he goes to sleep again.

 **Cutaway ends**

Now we join the family in the dinner room as Stewie said grace.

"So, who would like to say the blessing? No one? Okay. I'll do it. Um, dear Lord...we thank you for this food we are about to eat...uh, thank you for this gorgeous day...and thank you for letting me share it with my good friend, Brian-...that's you. Um...and that about covers it, I guess. All right. Amen." Stewie saying grace at the dinner table.

While john does impression of him, suck a dick to describe Stewie new behavior as he is sucking up to god. This event cause Tyler and Frank Jr laugh at that impression.

"Sweetheart, I thought your "Grind My Gears" segment was just wonderful tonight." Lois said to peter and Frank Jr their segment was wonderful.

"Yeah! I can't believe both my son and father are famous." Meg said in excitement for her son and father being famous.

"Well, honey, there's been a lot of famous Griffins...like my great aunt, Ella Fitzgerald Griffin." Peter bringing up his great aunt Ella Fitzgerald Griffin in a cutaway.

 **Cutaway**

As we join Ella Fitzgerald Griffin is Peter Griffin's grandaunt, she is performing in a jazz club.

"Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. I'd like to introduce my accompanist for the evening...please say hello to young Ray Charles." Ella said as she accompanied on piano by Ray Charles, who still had his sight.

When she sustains a high note during a scat solo, the champagne glass on the piano shatters.

It sending shards of glass into Charles' eyes.

"I'm blind!" Ray Charles said as the vent causing his blindness.

He then fall on the floor by the pain of the glass shards in his eyes.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we are outside of Spooner Street as we spot Brian sitting on something that is moving.

"I feel ridiculous." Brian said as the scene reveal that he sitting on a wagon by pulled by Stewie's tricycle as he drives it around the street.

"Well, I can't very well fit you up here, can I?" Stewie said as he is ride his tricyle.

"Where are we going?" Brian asked him on where they are going.

"Well, there is the most absolutely perfect...spider web in the bushes by Cleveland's house. You have just got to see it." Stewie said, as he want to take Brian to see a perfect spider web in the bushes by Cleveland's house.

"Oh, for God's sake." Brian said as moans for being drag into something he does like.

"Hey, Brian. Brian." Stewie asked him to talk to him.

"What?" Brian reply him

"Knock-knock." Stewie said a knock knock joke.

"Oh, come on." Brian said in complain tone.

"Knock-knock." Stewie asked him to knock knock again

"Who's there?" Brian answer who is there.

"Your friend, Stewie- and he's always gonna be there for you." Stewie said himself and he is going to be there for his friends.

Now we join Peter, Lois, Frank, Meg and Frank Jr going to a restaurant for dinner.

"Yes. Table for Five." Peter asked the host for a table for five people.

"I'm sorry. We have a 45-minute wait." the Host said that they have a 45-minute wait for a table.

"Oh, isn't that too bad, honey? Because I know waiting in line at a restaurant...really, uh, grinds your gears." Lois said as she egg the host with a line of what really gears my gears.

As the host recognized peter and Frank Jr from what grinds my gears.

"Oh, my God! It's you! I loved your rant about how bread is square and baloney is round. Oh, a table just opened up." Host said as he lets them inside and he gets them a table.

"Hey! We've been waiting." Woman said in complaint about wait in line.

"Shh! That's Michael Moore." Her husband said to his wife as he mistakes Peter for Michael Moore.

Now we join tom tucker at his table as the Griffin and Mallque couple come toward him.

"Mr. Tucker, we need this table." Host said to tom that he was being move to another table.

"But I've already ordered." Tom said as he complain to the host that he already order.

"Oh, we have a private booth set up for you. This way." The host said to tom that they already have another table for him.

As tom went with the host to his new table, he stare down at Peter and Frank Jr.

"Griffin, Mallque.' Tom said their name in disgust

"Diane." Frank Jr reply by the wrong name just to piss him off.

As the family now sits at their table in the restaurant.

"I can't believe we got a table at the hottest restaurant in town...without a reservation." Lois said in awe of getting the best table in the restaurant.

"We really are moving up in the world." Meg said in agreement.

Yeah, but I'd love to see what those private booths are like. Peter asked that he want to know about those private booths.

"I don't think so pops!" Frank reply to peter's question.

As we join tom in men restroom was about to eat his food that was on top of a toilet until a man came in and sit on his food so he can go do his business.

"This is totally unacceptable. How long are you going to be? I'm very hungry. "Tom said in disgust as he sick of being the butt of this joke and he is very hungry.

Now we join Stewie with his teddy bear Rupert in the living room as Brian came by.

"Hey, B! Rupert and I were just about to..." Stewie said to Brian until he interrupt him.

"E- E-Excuse me. Did you just call me "B"?" Brian asked him why he is calling him by his first letter of his name.

"Yes, B. Rupert and I were just about to dine on this mixture...of Play-Doh and rug hair. Care to join?" Stewie asked him about to dine on this mixture...of Play-Doh and rug hair.

"Oh, no, thanks. I just thought you might be interested in seeing this. This is the most absolutely perfectly destroyed spider web." Brian said as he brings a perfectly destroyed spider-web

"Where's the spider?" Stewie asked him where the spider.

"Knock-knock." Brian said knock knock

"Who's there?" Stewie answer with a worried look.

"I ate him!" Brian said he ate the spider.

"You bastard! Who the hell do you think you are?" Stewie calling him "a bastard" and whacking him with a rolled-up newspaper.

"Ha! I knew it. I knew you hadn't really changed." Brian said as he busted him on his new behavior.

"Wow Brian you were right!" John said, as he and Tyler appear right next to them from the basement aka their room.

"Yeah I own you ten bucks!" Tyler reply as he betted he was wrong.

"Okay. So, I was faking being nice. It's not the worst thing I've done." Stewie said as he set up a cutaway about what he recalls it as the worst thing he has ever done.

 **Cutaway**

As we join, Stewie attending a Chicago Cubs game at Wrigley Field.

"Ooh! Steve, it's coming right at us. Grab it!" Stewie suggested.

"I don't wanna get in the way" Steve Bartman refused.

"It's a foul ball. What harm can it do?" Stewie wondered as Steve grabbed the ball as he cost the Chicago Cubs a trip to the World Series.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the living room.

"Look, I really don't want to go to hell, but I can't stop my nature. I'm just a hateful person." Stewie said that he really don't want to go to hell, but he can't stop his nature. And he thinks that he just a hateful person.

"You're not hateful you just need to control your anger. Like I do." Brian says that Stewie should try to find something to make him kind and nice like Brian who drinks alcoholic drinks like a martini.

"Oh, you mean by being sauced all day!" Emily reply a sarcastic remark.

"Or us with video games or reading!" John reply as he and Tyler have their own control with their hobbies.

"Wait a minute! Of Course! That's it! If I'm drunk I'll be calm and if I'm calm I'll be nice, and if I'm nice, then I won't go to hell. Fix me a highball I'm going to get good and tight!" Stewie said as this leads Stewie to wanting a drink.

Nevertheless, as usually Brian does not oblige him.

Look, you can't drink. You're an infant, all right? Besides, there are better ways to solve your problems. Brian said as he give him any booze

Oh, I suppose you're right. Thanks, Brian. I was weak. Stewie said

No problem. Brian said as he leave the room.

Once Brian has left, Stewie takes a glass. This leads to him becoming extremely inebriated.

"Oh, my God! Do you know what it's time for? A sexy party!" Stewie said as he want to make a sexy party.

While Madcap instrumental music playing

As we see Stewie dancing with women dancing in lingerie as he throws a sexy party. While all girls giggling, as they are being chase by Stewie.

As Frank Jr came in.

"Okay, what is going on?" Frank Jr said as he questions on what happing right know.

"I'm having another sexy party; any of you guys care to join?" Stewie said as he asked the twins.

"I think I'll pass... What about you-" Emily said as she asked her friends until Emily noticed both Tyler and Frank Jr took their clothes and their shirts leaving them with their underwear.

"I always wanted to party!" Frank Jr said as he and Tyler then joins in running around like the other girls.

"Why do we even bother...?" John said as he faces palms their faces.

Now we join everyone in the kitchen eating breakfast as Stewie carries out his alcohol canister from his diaper, takes a sip from it, and then hid it back.

"So, Brian, I'd... uh what?" Stewie said in drunk about something.

"I didn't say anything." Brian said as he tells Stewie that he did not say anything.

"Oh I'd thought, I thought you interrupted me. Don't interrupt me." Stewie said as he was drunk telling Brian to not interrupt him.

"Are you okay?" Emily asked Stewie if he is okay.

"I'm as okay as your face." Stewie said as he made a joke at Emily expense.

"Ha... I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." Stewie said in a Wheezing breath tone.

"So honey, what are you going to rant about today? Could we get a little preview?" Lois asked peter on what he is going to rant about today and could the family get a little preview.

"Oh I got a good one Lois, parents who let kids do whatever they want, I hate that. You know? Like when I'm in a restaurant, right, trying to enjoy my dinner, and then little baby son of a bitch trying to scream his head off. Parents need to control your kids." Peter said his rant about controlling their kids.

"I would totally agree on that." John said okay about his statement.

As Stewie was standing on the kitchen shelf.

"Hey, everybody, look. I'mgonnado-I'm-I'm gonna do something that's gonna freak you out. I'm gonna jump...from this shelf to my high chair. I'm gonna jump." Stewie said as he tell everyone that he gonna jump into his high chair from on top shelf.

"Please don't tell me he's not kidding..." Emily Whispers to Brian, John and Tyler

"Are you watching? Uh...are you?" Stewie asking everyone if they are watching him.

"Do it you pussy!" Frank Jr shouted at him to jump.

"Stewie, don't interrupt. It grinds my gears when you do that." Peter said to Stewie not interrupt him when he is ranting.

"OH he said it! Oh ho ho ho hoo..." Lois said in excitement as peter did his thing.

"You you gonna miss it, you gonna miss it, you gonna miss it..." Stewie said to everyone that they are gonna miss him jumping.

As Stewie jumps from his shelf to his high chair but only to have and his high chair fall.

"Oh hah hah hoh!" Stewie laughs from his fall.

This cause both Frank Jr and Emily to freaky out.

"Oh god..." Emily said in shocked of what happened to her little brother.

"Oh go- oh dude! Did you see tha- that? Did you guy- Oh! Oh man, look at this gash. Look at this gash right up the side of my leg. Uh-ho, oh I got myself deep, oh doesn't hurt though..." Stewie said as he explain how hurt he is while laughing.

"Uh, you know Stewie, I think it's time for your nap." Emily said as she make excuse for herself.

"Nap-time, uncle! Frank Jr said as he went toward Stewie and he shush him.

"Yeah, it's time." Tyler said in agreement.

"Defiantly." John said as well in agreement.

"Yeah, don't worry Lois, we'll take him, let's go." Brian said as he get out of the table.

As Frank Jr, Emily, John and Tyler walked out of the Kitchen while Brian drag a drunk Stewie out of the kitchen with him.

"God why the... what the hell? Why did you dra- why are we in here? It's rude to the other people." Stewie asking him on why they drag him out of the kitchen.

"Your drunk." Brian said to Stewie that he is drunk as balls.

"You sexy..." Stewie said as he was speaking stupid dunk.

"Stewie, what is wrong with you? Don't you realize how much damage alcohol does to you?" Emily asking him what is wrong with him with the drinking.

"Yeah, you have to stop, no more drinking." John said, as he demand Stewie to stop drinking.

"When Brian suggested to control you anger, this is not what he had in mind." Tyler said, as he knows Stewie can control his anger in different ways.

"And I'm sorry for putting it in your head." Brian apologies to him about giving him the idea.

"I don't know- I don't even know what your problem is, I never felt better." Stewie said as he tells them that he never felt better.

Until Stewie then accidentally pukes on Brian's chest.

"Gross!" Frank Jr said it aloud.

"Oh dear god..." Emily said in disgust on what just happened.

"Okay now I've never felt better." Stewie said as he ignore what he did.

Now we join Peter and Frank Jr at channel 5 new station as tom came by.

"You know, Peter, there's gonna be a lot of people watching tonight. Better keep your balls on the prize- Eyeballs- On the ball. Eyes on the ball. Take two. You know, Peter, there's gonna be...a lot of people watching tonight. Better not screw up. Use take two." Tom said as he tries to psych them out.

"Don't worry about me, Tom. I'll be fine." Frank Jr said as he not going to let Tom mess with him and his show segment.

"We're on in three, two-…" the director tells them the show is starting in 3 minutes.

"And now it's time for "You Know What Really Grinds My Gears?" With Frank G Mallque Jr and Peter Griffin." Diane said as she announces another "You Know What Really Grinds My Gears?" with Frank Jr and Peter.

"Thanks, Diane." Frank Jr said as he thanks Diane and he starts the segment.

"You know what really grinds our gears?" Peter asked his audience about what really grinds their gears!

"Hey! Hey!" Tom shouted at them to make both Frank jr and Peter choke.

"Those X-ray specs you used to buy out of the comics." Frank Jr said about x-ray spects and he ignores Tom's shouting.

"Hey! Screw up!" Tom shouted at them to screw up the segment.

"I save up forever to buy these things...and when I finally get 'em yesterday, I couldn't see the inside of my son's belly." Peter said about the spects only can see people stomach.

"Blah! Bah! Blah!" Tom said as he make noise to their face for them to screw up until Frank Jr punch him in the face

"See, I wanted to see if he'd eaten the last Nilla wafer...'cause I told him I wanted it." Frank Jr explain to the audience that he wanted to see if Tom Tucker eaten the last Nilla wafer...'cause he told him he wanted it."

Then tom came in with a talk bubble sign that said, "I AM A Rapist!" and he put next to peter.

"Boy, I tell ya, that really grinds our gears." Peter said as he his annoyed by tom interference.

"Pay attention to me! I'm trying to ruin you!" Tom shouted at them as he attempts to sabotage Peter's segment.

Until he was drag out of the scene and the stage. Then we see tom enter the network head's office.

"You wanted to see me, sir?" Tom asked him if he wanted to see him for something.

"You're fired, Tom. Turn in your press pass and any other studio property." The network head said as he fired him.

As tom turn in his press pass and he mustache.

Now we join Brian as he takes Stewie, Emily, John and Tyler out for a night of drinking at The Drunken Clam.

What are we doing here? Stewie said as he get out of Brian's car.

"So, you like being drunk? Fine. I'm gonna get you so drunk...you'll never wanna drink again." Brian said as he decides to make Stewie so drunk he'll never want to touch alcohol again.

"I don't think this is such a good idea Brian?" Emily said as she disagree with this since Stewie is a baby and a minor.

"Yeah Brian, you know that Tyler is also out control alcoholic!" John reply as he remembers that Tyler cannot control his drinking problem.

"Am not John, this is not for me this for Stewie so he can quit cold turkey, so Come on." Tyler said as he drag both Emily and John inside the clam with Brian.

While Stewie takes a sip of his baby bottle of booze and puts it on top of Brian's car. He makes sure that it does not run away while he is inside the clam like a drunken idiot.

"Cold. It's so cold." Tom said sad for drink his beer without his mustache.

"Thanks, Horace." Brian said his thank to the owner.

"Hey, are they 18?" Horace asked Brian if Emily, John, Tyler and Stewie are 18 years old.

"Horace, the drinking age is 21." Emily reply Horace answer with the right drinking age.

"Oh." Horace said as he leave them alone.

"O- Okay. Uh, uh...to the black man. Thanks for taking it all in stride." Stewie said cheer for the black man. Thanks for taking it all in stride.

As they drink their martinis and then they order more.

After five martinis at the Drunken Clam, both are extremely drunk. As Stewie Griffin sings it while intoxicated at The Drunken Clam.

 **Stewie**

— _'Cause suicide is painless —_

— _It brings on many changes —_

— _And I can take or leave it —_

— _If I please —_

"Was that- Was that good?" Stewie asked him if he sang it good.

"Oh, God. Thank you, man." Brian said thank to Stewie for sing it.

As John, Tyler and Emily gave him a secret handshake.

"Nice song, little bro." Emily reply as she is too drunk to care about her brother being drunk.

The scene where Stewie and Brian play Pac-Man in the Drunken Clam

"G- Get the fruit. There's more points." Brian said to Stewie to get the fruit.

"Get- Get the- Get the fruit." John said the same thing.

"I'm not gonna get the fruit." Stewie said to both of them that he could not get it.

"Get the fruit." Tyler said to him to get the freaken fruit.

"I can't get the fruit. I'm not gonna get the fruit! There's a ghost right there!" Stewie said as they arguing over getting the fruit that's near the ghost.

Now we see Stewie, John, Tyler, Emily and Brain were leaving the bar with Brian holding a bag of olives.

"I can't believe you saved all those." Stewie said to Brian as he cannot believe that Brian save those olives.

"L- Lois- L-Lois- You think Lois will like these?" Brian asked him if Lois would love these.

"You love Lois!" Stewie call out Brian's crush on his mother.

"Shut up!" Brian tells him to shut up.

"You know what? Give me your keys." Stewie asked him for the keys to the car.

"Oh, no. he is fine." Emily tell Stewie that Brian is fine to drive.

"No, no. Give me your keys." Stewie asked him for the keys again.

'I'm fi- I'm drivin'." Brian said that he is fine.

"Give me your keys. You're too drunk." Stewie asked him the keys again and he tells Brian that he is too drunk.

"He's okay." John said that Brian id fine to Stewie.

"Peter- Meg- Brian. You're too- Brian, you're too drunk to drive." Stewie said to Brian that he too drunk to drive again.

"L- I-I a-am- I- You're right. Here. Here you go." Brian said as he had the keys to Stewie as they leave the build.

As Stewie attempts to drive them home and ends up crashing into the Drunken Clam.

"Shh!" Stewie shushes his friend to be quite.

Now we join Diane at channel 5 studio as she give her report.

"And that's it for sports. Now, let's go to Ollie Williams with the Adopt-a-Pet of the week." Diane Simmons said about her repot and they move to Ollie Williams with the Adopt-a-Pet of the week.

"Who wants this dog!?" Ollie Williams ask the people who want this dog in his hands.

"Thanks, Ollie. And now, let's go to Peter Griffin with "Ya Know What Really Grinds My..."" Diane Simmons said about them watching another segment of "Ya Know What Really Grinds My Gears."

Until Tom Tucker arrives at the studio.

"Tom, what are you doing? You don't work here anymore." Diane Simmons asked him on why is he here.

"Well, Diane, I have an exclusive story. And I can't figure out how to check my e-mail from home." Tom Tucker said that he has an exclusive story.

"Did you check your TCP/IP settings!?" Ollie Williams asked tom if he check his TCP/IP settings.

"Yes I did, Ollie." Tom Tucker reply yes to Ollie.

"Enable cookies!?" Ollie Williams asked him if he Enable cookies!

"Yes, Ollie." Tom Tucker reply yes again to Ollie.

"You want this dog!?" Ollie Williams asked tom if he want this dog in his hands.

"No, thank you, Ollie. Roll tape." Tom Tucker reply no and thank Ollie. As he asked the crew to roll the tape.

As it shows the drunken clam, with Stewie car crash accident last night.

"This was the scene at the Drunken Clam last night...as a car driven by an intoxicated infant...caused thousands of dollars-worth of damage." Tom said as he learns of Stewie's drinking and driving the car into the Drunken Clam.

"Put th- Put this on my tab." Brian said to Horace

It was- It was, like, all slowed down. John explain to Horace that he tried telling Stewie to slow it down.

"You know? And I was, like, "Whoa!", dude!" Tyler explain what happened to them.

"But I couldn't stop it." Stewie said in agreement.

"I am so sorry about this Horace!" Emily reply with apology.

As the tape ends, we return to the studio of channel 5.

"And who is the father of the child in that car?" Tom asked the audience who is Stewie's father.

"Ooh.! Tom.! Tom.! I know this. I know this. Tom, over here. Tom! Ooh! Ooh!" Peter shouted to tom that he has the answer.

"The man you all respect so much. Your beloved Peter Griffin." Tom answer to audience that peter is the father of this drunken baby.

"Good thing he didn't call on me. I was gonna say "Grant Goodeve." Peter said that he had the wrong answer.

"Thanks, Tom. And now, neglectful father and Quahog's newest social pariah, Peter Griffin, our new host Frank Mallque Jr, with another segment of "Grind My Gears". Peter?" Diane said as she turn to peter for his final segment and Frank Jr taking his place.

"Thank you, Diane. You know what really grinds my gears? People from the nineteenth century. Get with the freaking program. Hello, it's called an automobile folks; much faster than a horse!" Peter said about People from the nineteenth century.

As one of the crew passes a message to Peter.

"Oh it seems I've been fired and Frank Jr is taking over my segment. You know what really grinds my gears? You, America. FUCK you! Diane." Peter said about America, which results in Peter saying fuck you and he was being drag away by security.

As Peter's lack of parenting skills lead to his being fired

"Hey, Tom. Catch!" The network head said as he throw him, his mustache.

Then tom catch it with his face, right on the lip.

"Did you miss Daddy? Did you miss Daddy? Oh, no. It's all right. It's- Oh, you're shaking." Tom said as he comforts his mustache and he was glad to be rehired.

Until Frank Jr shows him evident of his own son Jake Tucker had been busted for drug possession in "North by North Quahog", coincidentally planted by Brian and Stewie.

"Uh oh!" Tom said in panic tone as he got rid of an idiot but he forgot his grandson.

"Oh yeah, your my bitch now Mr. Tucker!" Frank Jr said as he gonna enjoy working at channel five news.

The next day, Stewie ends up with a hangover as Brian's plan has worked.

"Go away." Stewie said in weak tone.

"Huh. Little hung over?" Brian asked him that he has a little hangover.

"I am never going to drink again- Ever. I may have an occasional creme de menthe, but that's about it." Stewie explain that he will never drink again until he is ready.

"Look, stewie, you can't stay in bed all- Oh, God! You're nude!" Emily

As she notice Stewie is naked under the blankets

"I am? What happened to my clothes? Good Lord! What the hell did I do last night?" Stewie said as his question as to how he has "Property of Roger Moore" tattooed on his chest after his night out with Brian

"I hope you learned something from all this." Brian asked him if he learn anything from yesterday.

"I certainly did, Brian. It seems I'm still finding myself." Stewie said he did and he still trying to find himself.

"Well, that's just life, Stewie. You gotta help yourself. No one's gonna do it for ya." Emily said in agreement, plus nobody gonna help him except himself.

"Yes, I suppose you're right. It's just too bad there's not someone out there just like me...who understands me well enough to show me the way." Stewie said, as he wishes there were someone else to whom he could relate.

"Yeah. Stewie, I'm sure there's someone out there just like you." John said sarcastically about Stewie's idea about someone who can relate him.

Meanwhile in San Francisco in San Francisco hotel, we see a man checking in and he looks like Stewie.

"Yes, I've reserved a non-smoking room with a view of the bay. No soap in the bathroom, just moist towelettes and a sleep mask. And, um, could you send up a bouquet of orchids and a box of Toffifay?" Adult Stewie asked the receptionist that he reserved a non-smoking room with a view of the bay, No soap in the bathroom, just moist towelettes and a sleep mask. In addition, could they send up a bouquet of orchids and a box of Toffifay?

Now back at Frank Jr and Stewie bedroom.

"However, for the moment, I just have to accept the fact...that I am an angry boy who will occasionally try to burn down a house...or toss a poison dart at his mother. After all, I can't let one near-death experience change my whole life, can I?" Stewie said as he accept an angry boy who will occasionally try to burn down a house or toss a poison dart at his mother.

This made Emily. John, Tyler and Frank Jr sign in relief.

"I'm glad you finally figured that out. Although, I will say, for the record, you're a pretty fun drunk." Brian said in agreement and he tells Stewie that he makes a good drunken bubby.

"Well, thank God there were no long-term repercussions." Stewie said as he thinks there were no long-term repercussions.

 **Cutaway**

As we see the Moore mansion as Roger Moore is then seen hesitating to call him in living courters.

"Oh! Got to play this one right, Roger. Cannot seem desperate. Wait three days- that is the rule." Roger Moore said as he has to wait for Stewie to call him first.

Nevertheless, he snap and he could not take it anymore.

"Oh, God! I wanna talk to him now!" Roger Moore said as he dial up his number and he wait for him to answer.

However, nothing happened.

"Damn!" Roger Moore he shouted as he hang up the phone.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Yeah right dude! Frank Jr said to Stewie as he turn toward the audience and winks at them.

As the bedroom fade to black to end the chapter.

 **Chapter ends**

 **This is a three part special and I will post the movie after I'm done with these chapters.** **I hope everyone enjoyed! This is thanking for pen123 and Family Guy Fan writer 15, Thank you all for the cutaway, scenes, favoring, having me on alerts and with that. So enjoy and see you final chapters in season 4.**


	30. Chapter 79 - Bango Was His Name Oh

**Chapter 79 - Bango Was His Name Oh**

 **Narrator** _  
_ _Fresh out the net box  
Stop, look, and watch  
Ready yet, get set  
It's Family Guy!_

We see paparazzi taking photos of the cast as they come out of the limo and they walk on the red carpet.

 **Chorus:** _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

First it show Frank waling out of the limo with a poster with the words "oh" and he poses for the camera.

Then its shows Meg comes in looking all sexy as she signs autographs while she winks at the fans.

Then it turn to Lois comes in hopping while grabbing rose as she gives a kiss toward the fans.

 **Chorus:** _Check it, check it, check it  
Now this is just an introduction  
Before I blow your mind  
The show is All of That and yes we do it all the time_

Then it shows Frank Jr poses as he pull his hat down his chest as he throws a rose to the Fans.

Then next person to show up on the carpet is Stewie. As he flips his hat back to his head while he give autographs to fans.

Then Brian comes in sliding on the red carpet as he waves at the fan as he walks in _._

 **Chorus:** _So sit your booty on the floor or in a chair  
Ground or in the air  
Just don't go nowhere_

Then Emily comes in give autographs as she smiles at the fans as she tells one of her fans to call her.

Then the scene shows Persephone puts a rose on her mouth with a sexy angry look on her face.

 **Chorus:** _Cause everything we do  
It's all of that!  
When entertaining you  
We all of that!_

Then Chris shimming down the carp as he gives the fan a shout out.

Then Peter slide towards the carpet as he flips his hat back on his head.

 **Chorus:** _My posse and my crew  
It's all of that!  
So sit still cause we're coming right back_

Then the scene shows John throws a rose at his fans.

As the scene, changes to Tyler puts on rose his mouth as he gives everyone thumbs up.

 **Chorus:** _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

Then scene change to the Family Guy MC Cast walks down the stairs as they take a group photo while looking gangsters of the 80. All this while music ends as the scene fades to black.

We now are visiting Quahog Circuit Shack, which is an electronics store in Quahog, Rhode Island.

As the Mallque/Griffin family went inside to get a new VCR. We see Frank and Meg looking at the cell phone for their new phones, while Chris was at the Video camera section as he puts the camera in weird palace of his body.

Meanwhile we see Peter, Lois, John, Tyler, EMILY holding Frank Jr in his arm while them looking at many different TVs.

"Wow! This must be one of them new plasma TV's." Peter said aloud.

As he, John, Tyler, Emily Frank Jr and Lois admire a 60" plasma television at the Quahog Circuit Shack as it plays a Samuel Adams commercial.

As the executives pictured order lunch.

"Would you like something to drink?" The waiter asked the executives on what they want.

"I'll have water, please." First Executive asked for water

"I'll have water too, but with lemon." Second Executive asked for water with lemon.

"I'll have a Sam Adams." Third Executive orders a Samuel Adams

"It's 9:30 in the morning. And don't you have an outstanding D.U.I.?" The four Executive asked him on why for his early drinking.

"Yeah, but I've gotta get the taste of weed and hooker spit out of my mouth." The third Executive notes that he needs to get the taste of weed and hooker spit out of his mouth

"I'll have a Sam Adams too." The four Executives said as this prompting the others to order the same.

As we zoom in to the bar with the beer's mascot, Samuel Adam.

"Samuel Adams- always a good decision." The Samuel Adam said as he tell the audience that his drink is a good choice.

OK, now, if I get a fax, can I stay online and still receive the fax without a dedicated line? Stewie asked the Foreign Employee about if he get a fax, he can stay online and still receive the fax without a dedicated line.

"Yeah, you can put a piece of paper in here and make, like, a phone call, and your friend will get another piece of paper with the same picture." Foreign Employee reply yes and he said something stupid.

"...Can I possibly speak to someone who didn't come to this country on a floating door?" Stewie asked on anyone in the store if he could speak to someone who did not come to this country on a floating door.

The next scene show our favorite salesman, Jim Kaplan coming toward the family.

"Can I help you?" Jim Kaplan "The Salesman" asked the couple if he can help him.

"Yes. We're here to replace our VCR." Lois tell him that they are here to replace their VCR.

"Yeah, don't try any of your salesman funny business...like that guy who convinced me to buy that pet Tyrannosaurus." Peter said as he sets up a cutaway about their pet t-rex

 **Cutaway**

As we see Peter and Frank Jr playing with their pet T-Rex.

"Okay, Patches, now fetch!" Peter tells his pet dinosaur to fetch the stick. While Frank Jr throws the stick.

Then t-rex chase until it returns as it was eats another human.

"Oh! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Drop it. Drop it. Drop it." Peter ordered as the T-Rex dropped a man from his mouth.

"Ew. It's got spit all over it." Frank Jr said, as he was gross out by the body of the man.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the Quahog Circuit Shack.

"A VCR? Let me show you something." Jim Kaplan said as his show them the TiVo boxes next to them.

"It's called TiVo. It always records what you're watching...so, you can re-watch anything you missed." Jim Kaplan explain what TiVo is to the family.

"Oh! Sounds fancy. How does it work?' Peter asked on how it works while John and Tyler nodded in agreement.

"I'll tell ya how it works. Easy as pie, is how it works." Jim Kaplan said as he used the remote to rewind time for 5 second back to his conversation.

"I'll tell ya how it works. Easy as pie, is how it works. Should I ring it up?" Jim Kaplan asked them if he should ring them up.

"Hold on. Hold on. I think we should discuss it first." Lois said, to the group that they need discuss it first.

As Jim Kaplan was about to used TiVo works to skip through the Ensuing conversations. However, Frank Jr stop him.

"Allowed me, Mr. Kaplan!" Frank Jr said as he take the remote and he fast-forwarding the conversation, until they reach the counter to buy the TiVo.

"Some kind of palsy. Anyway, that's how I saved Christmas." Peter said the end of his story to the cashier.

"Yeah, go ahead and bag this thing for us." Frank said to the cashier to bag the TiVo for them.

"Wait… what?" Lois said as she notice that they were at the counter.

"Hahaha, I fast-forward your decision, Grandma!" Frank Jr said as he laughs at her grandma for her stupididing.

We now join the family driving toward their house until they spot Glenn Quagmire who brought a Winnebago Industries Inc.

Ah! Sweet, Quagmire. You got a Winnebago. Peter said about quagmire's new ride.

"Nice, quagmire!" Frank said in agreement.

"You mean a "Wanna-bang-o"! Hehehe alright!" Quagmire said the name of his van but with sexual meaning.

"Hahaha, How clever." Lois said in response as she fake chuckles at quagmire sick joke.

"Booo! That joke suck!" Tyler said as John and Emily nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, I'm gonna take her across the country...and bang a different broad in every state. Also, gonna go to Vegas." Quagmire explain that he going across the country...and bang a different broad in every state. In addition, he going to go to Vegas.

"Oh, we went to Vegas once. Remember, Lois? We saw the Jew Man group?" Peter said as he set up cutaway about him and Lois's time in Vegas when they saw the Jew Man group.

 **Cutaway**

The Blue Man Group has been parodied as the 'Jew Man Group'! A performance art company formed in 1987, notable for their distinctive blue makeup.

 **Cutaway ends**

Now we join the family in the living room as peter is using the TiVo.

"Dad, what are you doing?" Chris asked his father on what he is doing on the tv.

"I'm fast-forwarding through this pesky TV show so I can get to the commercials." Peter explains that he is fast-forwarding through this pesky TV show so he can watch the commercials.

As a commercial with Wilford Brimley appears on the TV Screen.

"Hi, I'm Wilford Brimley and I have diabetes. It hurts me to pee and it causes me to be short with my family. I can't sleep at night. The other day I stubbed my toe and took it out on the dog. And two weeks ago I ran out of vanilla ice cream and struck my wife. Then I find out my wife has been dead for six years. Who the hell did I hit?" Wilford Brimley explains that he admitting his abusiveness, and thought he beat his wife, who was actually deceased.

"This message brought to you by the national diabetes association." The Announcer person explain what this commercial is brought to you by the national diabetes association.

Now back to the living room as Lois come in with announcement.

"Lunch is ready come and get it!" Lois call her family to get dinner.

As the family goes into the kitchen leave the trio of Frank Jr, Stewie and Brian on the couch.

"Hey, what do you think it is, boogers on a biscuit?" Brian asked the babies if Lois is making boogers on a biscuit.

"Hahahahaha!" Frank Jr and Stewie laughs together by his joke.

"That's prob-That's probably what it is." Stewie said in agreement.

As they now watch the channel 5 news with Tom Tucker and Diane Simmons.

"We now go live to the streets of San Francisco...with Asian reporter Tricia Takanawa." Tom said as he turn to Asian reporter Tricia Takanawa to go live to the streets of San Francisco.

"Diane, is she Chinese or Japanese?" Tom asked Diane if Tricia was Chinese or Japanese.

"She's Japanese, Tom." Diane reply that Tricia was a Japanese person.

"Wow. I know a Japanese woman." Tom said excitement that he know a Japanese person

"Tom, I'm standing here amidst the heated debate...over a recent petition to change the name of the city...from San Francisco to something a little less gay." Tricia explains to the viewers that theirs amidst the heated debate over a recent petition to change the name of the city from San Francisco to something a little less gay.

As she spot the first person to asked about the name change.

"Excuse me, sir. What would you like to rename San Francisco?" Tricia asked the man who looks like Stewie about the rename the city of San Francisco.

"Well, given the wonderful shoe shopping, I would cast my vote for, "Heaven"." Adult Stewie said as it shocked everyone in the room about his appearance.

While Stewie sees someone identical to him.

"Who the hell was that?" Stewie asked his family on the man who looks like him but older.

"What the fuck?" Frank Jr said in question about the man who looks like his uncle/best friend.

"I say, press the button. Make it stop." Stewie said to Brian to pause the TV programs with the TiVo remote

Therefore, Brian did that and it pause on the face of the man who look like Stewie. The man had brown hair, wears a white long sleeve shirt with a green turtle vest

"Oh, my God. He looks just like me." Stewie said as he see the resemblance with the man on the tv.

"You know what? He does." Frank Jr said in agreement.

"Almost looks like he could be your father." Brian said as he notice that this man could be his father.

"He could be my father. My real father. I knew it! Lois must have mated with this poor fellow. I have to get out to California. I dare say I would fit right in with the kids from 90210...even the older-looking one." Stewie said, as he believes that the man he sees is his real father and he sets up a cutaway about 90210.

 **Cutaway**

As Jennie Garth, Jason Priestley, Luke Perry, Shannen Doherty, and Tori Spelling appear in a cutaway that parody their teenage characters, even though they began portraying them in their mid-20s.

"Boy, that test sure is gonna be hard tomorrow" Donna said.

"You said it, Donna. Hey Andrea, can you help me study?" Kelly asked.

"What?" Andrea asked with a horn on her ear.

"I said, "Can you help me study?"" Kelly repeated herself.

"Dylan, I fixed your socks" Andrea said.

"Hey, Andrea, are we still goin' to the concert?" Dylan asked.

"This used to be all orange groves, far as the eye could see" Andrea said.

"Okay. So, I'll pick you up at 7:00" Dylan said.

"Barbara Stanwyck and I used to take the trolley" Andrea added.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join Lois in the backyard doing her gardening until she heard peter.

"Hey, Lois. Thought you might be in the mood for a classic." Peter said as he is singing 'Here comes Peter Parker...Spiderman! Spiderman!' to the 1966 Batman TV show theme song because the producers could not get the rights to the Spiderman theme.

 **Peter**

 _Na na na na na na na na_

 _Spider-Man! Spider-Man!_

 _Here comes Peter on the clothesline but his name's not Peter it is_

 _Spider-Man! Spider-Man!_

 _Come on Lois, let's get busy maybe right here in the garden here comes_

 _Spider-Man! Spider-Man!_

 _Touch my can with your hand_

 _Spider-Man!_

"Oh! Help! Spider-Man. I'm being attacked by the evil rosebush." Lois said as she call for him to save her from her bushes.

"Ah! I'll save you, Mary Jane!" Peter said as his jump on her and they tangle together on the ground.

As Peter is trying to have sex with Lois but Emily, Chris and Persephone keep intruding.

"Oh, my God!" Persephone said in shocked

"I don't know what they're fighting about...but I think Mr. Griffin's winning." Tyler explain to the other kids on what happing.

"Go, Dad!" Chris cheer on his father.

"No guys, they are having sex and we should be here!" Emily said as she explain to her sibling that their parent are having relation and they should leave.

"Kids, can we have some privacy please?" Lois asked her kids if they could have some privacy.

"Yeah, you guys are more annoying than that announcer on those TV commercials." Peter said in agreement, as he sets up a cutaway about an announcer on those TV commercials.

 **Cutaway**

"Wacky, waving, inflatable-arm-flailing tube man.! Wacky, waving, inflatable-arm-flailing tube man.! Wacky, waving, inflatable-arm-flailing tube man.! Hi, I'm Al Harrington, president and C.E.O. Of Al Harrington's... Wacky, Waving, Inflatable-Arm-Flailing Tube Man Emporium and Warehouse. Thanks to a shipping error, I am now currently overstocked... ...on wacky, waving inflatable-arm-flailing tube men... ...and I am passing the savings on to you! Attract customers to your business, make a splash at your next presentation... ...keep Grandma Company, protect your crops, confuse your neighbors. African-American? Hail a cab, testify in church or just raise the roof. Whatever you're wacky, waving inflatable-arm-flailing tube man needs are. So, come on down to Al Harrington's... Wacky, Waving Inflatable-Arm-Flailing Tube Man Emporium and Warehouse. Route 2 in Weekapaug!" Al Harrington announced.

 **Cutaway Ends**

We now join Stewie in his bedroom with his piggybank.

"Forgive me, Mr. Oinkbaum, you will be missed _._ "Stewie said to his piggy and he hits piggy bank with a hammer.

There we are. Stewie said as he pick up his cash from the broke remains.

"What are you doing?" Brian said as he and the boy question him on what he is doing.

"None of your beeswax, Ramona. But if you must know, I need a plane ticket to San Francisco." Stewie said as he explain that he need money to buy a plane ticket to San Francisco.

"Pfah! Good luck, plane tickets are about 450 bucks." Brian explain that plane tickets are about 450 bucks.

This cause Stewie's jaw to drop down like an anime character.

"Four hundred... Brian, hit me in the mouth." Stewie asked Brian to hit him in the mouth.

"What? Why?' Brian asking him why he should hit him.

"I hear this Tooth Fairy gives you money for your teeth. Have at it!" Stewie explains that Tooth Fairy gives you money for your teeth and he want him to go at him.

Uh, OK. Brian said as he goes to take a swing at Stewie.

"NO, NO, DON'T, DON'T, DON'T, STOP, STOP!" Stewie said as he freaks out by Brian trying to hit him.

As Brian lower his fist and this cause Stewie confusion.

"Why did you stop? I said hit me!" Stewie asked him on why he stop.

"You flinched." Brian explain to Stewie that he flinch.

"Well, of course I flinched, you were going to hit me!" Stewie said as he explain that he flinch because Brian gonna hit him.

"Well make up your mind! What do you want me to do?" John tell Stewie to make up his mind.

"Hit me!" Stewie asked Brian to hit him again.

As Brian tries again but Stewie freaks out again.

"ARGH! No, no! Don't! Don't!" Stewie said as he begs him to stop.

As Brian, John and Tyler sighs by Stewie's flinching.

"I'm sorry, look, I know I'm being hard to read- OOF!" Stewie said as he tries to apologies until John could not take anymore and he smack him.

They check if Stewie was okay, but he is unconscious. Therefore, Brian bailed out of the room.

Now we join Frank Jr and Stewie outside the house as they are selling lemonade.

"Hey! You there! Buy this yellow drink." Frank Jr asking an old man to buy their drink but he was ignored and the man walk away.

"Hey, preggo. Preggo. Hey, I'm talkin' to you, tubby." Stewie asked bonnie to buy his drink but she just walks away.

"Oh, don't you ignore us. Ooh!" Frank Jr said as he and Stewie were piss off by being ignored.

"Pardon me, sir. Sir? Sir? Oh, the hell with this." Stewie said as he chase the man and break his leg.

Then he and Frank frisk him of his stuff.

"So, we had to do it the hard way, hmm?" Stewie said as he takes out the man wallet and it had six buck inside.

"Six bucks? Nice-looking wife you've got. Maybe I'll look her up while you're in the hospital." Stewie said to the man about his wife and he leave him with his empty wallet.

Until Frank Jr return with a cup of lemonade.

"Don't forget your lemonade." Frank Jr said as he throw him a cup of lemonade into his face.

After the babies left the scene, John and Tyler just witness what happed outside and they shrugged it off. Then they went toward the lemonade stand and they drank the last bit of it.

"Man that's some good Lemonade!" Tyler reply as John nodded in agreement.

Meanwhile at the kitchen, Brian is seen paying bills, as Frank Jr and Stewie enters

"Oh, there you are. I thought you should- What are you doing." Stewie asked Brian on what is he doing.

"Paying bills." Brian reply as he was mail his paid bills.

This made Frank Jr and Stewie question Brian!

"What bills? You have bills." Stewie asked in shocked on why he has bills.

"Well, there's cable and-." Brian reply that he pays the cable until the babies interrupted him.

"Grandpa pays for the cable!" Frank Jr reply that he know that his grandfather pays the bills.

"It's at this; uh...It's at this girl's house. Do you want something?" Brian said as he was avoiding the question and he asked them on what they want from him.

"Yes. I'm still short for my trip. I've only got $200. I suggest you pony up the difference immediately or I'll e-mail the contents of your hard drive to the F.B.I.!" Stewie said as he threaten Brian to pony up the money or he'll e-mail the contents of his hard drive to the F.B.I.

"What are you talking about? There's nothing on there." Brian said, as he know there is nothing bad on this laptop.

As Stewie shows him a nude picture of himself on Brian's computer.

"Stewie, why is it so hard to accept that Peter's your real father?" Brian asked on why doesn't he accepts that Peter is his real father.

"Because he's an idiot. You remember that time he went to _The Today Show_?" Stewie said as he set up a cutaway about peter going to _The Today Show_.

 **Cutaway**

As the scene changes to "The Today Show" where Peter is in the audience background.

"Coming up on Today. Tom Cruise has a new movie. We're gonna be talking to him" Katie Couric said.

"Katie" Peter taps the glass.

"Funnyman Al Franken will be stopping by for a visit." Katie Couric said.

"Katie!" Peter calls out to her while he taps the glass.

"And Wolfgang Puck shares his recipe for apple strudel." Katie Couric said.

"Katie!" Peter calls out to her while he taps the glass again.

"So stay tuned because we've got all this and more coming up in the next hour" Katie added as the glass broke after Peter threw something.

"Katie!" Peter shouted.

"What!" Katie shouted.

"Oh, well, never mind" Peter walked away.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join Lois in a pink robe as she enters the bathroom to see a naked peter in the bathtub with bubbles.

"Care to join me, Lois?" Peter asked her if she wants to join him in the tub.

"Ah….Hohoho!" Lois giggle of their sexual fun until she notice that the tub had now room for her.

"Uh, Peter, how am I supposed to…?" Lois asked him on where she supposed to sit.

"Oh, oh, oh. Sorry. Sorry. Where are my manners?" Peter said as he notice what she said and he move his belly to give her some room.

"Oh, What a gentleman." Lois thanks him for being a gentleman as she enter the tub while discarding he robe.

"There ya go." Peter said as he and wife relax until he slam his belly into Lois face.

"Aah!" Lois said in pain, as she was slam into the floret of the tub.

"Oh! Oh, God. You okay, honey?" Peter asked her if she is okay.

"Yeah, I'm all right. Oh, this is nice." Lois said as she relax in the tub with her husband.

Until their kids interrupted them again as they enter the bathroom with Emily trying to get them to stop entering by their shirts.

"Mom, Persephone says Omar Sharif is dead, but I think she's thinkin' of Anthony Quinn." Chris asked lois that Persephone says Omar Sharif is dead, but he think she's thinking of Anthony Quinn.

"Chris, your father and I are in the tub. Moreover, Persephone, you are thinking of Anthony Quinn. Now, get out!" Lois answer Chris question and tell the kids to leave them alone.

"Sorry guys!" Emily apologies as she drags her sibling by their shirts.

"Peter, this is ridiculous. We have no privacy here. We gotta get those kids outta the house once in a while. Shouldn't they be dating?" Lois asked

"Aw, that doesn't solve the problem, Lois. If they start datin', I mean, their rooms are right next to each other. They'll start havin' sex. We'll never get 'em outta the house." Peter said something stupid about their kids date.

"No, no, you idiot. I'm talking about them dating other people. Look, I'm gonna start spending some time with Chris...and I'll show him how to attract a woman." Lois said about them dating other people and she take Chris to teach him to attract a women.

"Yeah, and I'll spend some time with Emily and Persephone. I always want to spend lots of time with her, but I couldn't get the chance. But now I can with her and Persephone...like when we went on our last crusade to find the Holy Grail." Peter said as he take his other daughters since Meg is married and sets up a cutaway about them finding the holy war.

 **Cutaway**

Now we see peter, Emily and Persephone in the cave.

"Choose wisely?" a knight told Peter, Emily and Persephone.

"Uh, I choose this one!" Peter pointed to a device.

"How did you know?" the knight wondered.

"Well, I kinda figured the coffee mug that says "Jesus"!" Peter explained.

"Oh, right. Right." the knight said in awe.

"Pretty obvious." Peter explained to him it was pretty obvious.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the bathtub with Peter and Lois.

"Great. Let's kiss on it." Lois said yes in agreement with the plan.

"Come here, you." Peter asked her to kiss her.

As Lois soft laughs as she tries to kiss peter while climbing his fat. She grunting with effort to reach his lips but she slam out of the tub and into the floor.

"Oh! You bleeding? Yeah, you're bleeding." Peter asked her if she is bleeding and then he notice her bleeding.

Now we are near the garage outside as both Frank Jr and Stewie are on the tricycles until Frank, Meg and Brian arrive toward them.

"Don't tell me you're going to California on that." Brian asked if they are going to San Francisco in bicycles.

"Bicycling is hard, but it has its benefits." Frank Jr said as he counter argue with the benefits of a bicycle.

"Did you know Lance Armstrong is dating Sheryl Crow?" Stewie asked them about Lance Armstrong is dating Sheryl Crow.

"Yeah I know that, it really speaks to her character that she can get past...the whole "he had cancer" thing...and still find him sexually attractive." Frank said that he explain about her character.

"Really speaks to her character. L- I respect that." Meg said that she respect her.

Then they notice quagmire putting a sign on his Winnebago.

"Hey, Guys, what do you think of my sign?" Quagmire asked them about his sign.

"Quagmire's Cross Country Tour." Brian said as he read the sign.

"Uh, Isn't there an 'O' in Country?" Frank asked him about the 'O' in country.

"No. Look out, California, here I come! He, he, he alright!" Quagmire said as he gets ready to go on his trip.

"California!" Stewie and Frank Jr said loud in shocked as they are going to California.

As he and Frank Jr takes their trikes and throws it inside the Winnebago.

"What are you doing?" Brian asked the babies on what are they doing putting their stuff inside the Winnebago

"Well, you heard Captain Syphilis, we're going to California!" Stewie explain that they are going with quagmire to California.

"Oh, come on. You two cannot go alone with Quagmire." Frank said to the babies that they can't go to California alone with quagmire, since he know what he does for a living.

This cause Meg to think and signs as she has an idea.

"Look, I'll tell you what. If you're serious about this, we'll go with you." Meg said as she tells them that she, Frank and Brian will go with them.

"Although I should probably ask Peter and Lois if it's okay." Brian said to the gang that they need to tell Peter and Lois if its okay to leave.

"Oh, they won't even know we're gone." Stewie said to insure Brian that Peter and Lois will never know they were gone.

As Frank Jr pulls a pad out from Stewie's pocket and pushes a button.

 **Cutaway**

Robot Frank Jr, Robot Brian and Stewie appeared to come out of Stewie's closet

"Damn you, vile woman! Blast! What the deuce?" Robot Stewie said.

"I am a tool. Stewie is much better than me at everything, including arts and crafts and the guitar. I have no friends" Robot Brian added.

"I want big booty bitches!" Robot Frank said.

"I want to love you with said bitches!" Robot Meg said.

"Man, you guys suck as robots!" Robot Frank Jr said to his robot friends.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join the family and quagmire inside the Winnebago as it drive out of the neighborhood.

"Glad you guys are joining' me." Quagmire said that he is glad to have frank, his wife Meg, Brian and the babies join him on this trip.

'We need a vacation Glenn, since mom and pops are helping our sibs with their relationship problems." Frank said as he explain going to happened at the house when they are gone.

"Hey, did you guys see _Three Men and a Baby_?" Stewie asked them about Three Men and a Baby.

"Yeah." Brian reply yes for the group.

"Did you know there's a ghost in there behind the window?" Stewie tells them about the ghost in there behind the window.

"That's an urban legend. It's just a piece of cardboard." Frank tell Stewie that's an urban legend and it's just a piece of cardboard.

"No, it's a ghost. I heard." Stewie argues that there was a ghost in the movie.

"You heard from who? Meg asked him where he heard it.

"From, um...uh...Lois?" Stewie reply Lois.

"Yeah, right." Frank said sarcastically.

"Cleveland?" Stewie reply Cleveland.

"No." Meg said no to that response.

"Death?" Stewie reply death.

"No." Brian said no to that response.

"Greased Up Deaf Guy?" Stewie reply the Greased up Deaf Guy.

"He said that?" Brian, Frank and Meg said together about the rumor.

Meanwhile inside the Winnebago, Quagmire is having sex with an unknown woman in his trailer bedroom, Stewie and Brian play chess.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Quagmire said as his pound some pussy until the woman leg came out of the curtain and hit Stewie.

"Ow! Damn it!" Stewie said in pain.

When Brian's eyes are diverted, Stewie changes the game pieces.

"What are you doing?" Brian asked him on what is he doing

"Your knight was at king's rook six." Stewie explain that Brian's knight was at king's rook six.

"No, my bishop was at king's rook six. My knight was at queen five." Brian argues with that his bishop was at king's rook six and his knight was at queen five.

"No, no, no." Stewie said no three time to counter argue with him.

"Yes. Yes. I was sitting right- I saw right- ."Brian said yes to his agreement was true and he saw it.

"No. In your dreams your knight was at queen five. Yeah..." Stewie said no, Brian was dreaming, and his knight was at queen five.

As Brian and Stewie struggling over a chess piece until Stewie gets agitated and throws the chessboard to a refrigerator.

"Oh! Look at that! Look at that! Now your knight is at refrigerator five." Stewie said as he tell Brian that his knight is at refrigerator five.

"That's real mature." Brian said sarcastically as Stewie is being immature.

"Yeah, well, who comes out a winner? Me." Stewie said to him that he is the winner.

"Aaaahaaa! Griffin once again. Undefeated champion of the world!" Frank Jr said as he imitates audience cheering.

Until Frank smack Stewie in the head for gets agitated and throws the chessboard to a refrigerator.

"You know, San Francisco is a big place. Have you thought about how you're gonna find this guy?" Brian asked Stewie on how they are going to find the person in San Francisco.

"Simple, Brian. Look at this." Stewie said in answer as he take out a picture of the guy with a close up of his pen with the location of where he is.

"My God! This poor fellow had relations with Lois. That's more disgusting than my cousin Quark Griffin." Stewie states that his "father" having relations with Lois is more disgusting than his cousin Quark Griffin in a cutaway.

 **Cutaway**

"I'm watching your every move, Quark, so don't think you can get away with any law-breaking" someone warned.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever, man" Quark said.

"I mean it! You'll have me to deal with."

"Ooh! I'm really scared."

"I could morph into a giant python and eat you alive."

"Hey, here's an idea: Why don't you morph into a guy with something interesting to talk about?"

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join the Griffin Parents with John, Tyler, Emily, Chris and Persephone in the living room.

"Kids, your mother and I have decided we're gonna help you four get out in the dating world." Peter explain to the kids that he and Lois decided to help them get out in the dating world.

"That's right. Chris, John and Tyler, I'm gonna teach you guys to be an affable, desirable young men who doesn't smell like the inside of a wool hat." Lois explain to the boys that she will help them be affable, desirable young men who does not smell like the inside of a wool hat.

"Why you gotta break balls?" Chris asked her on why she is break his balls.

"Yeah, why you gotta break my balls too?" Tyler asked her on why she break his ball too.

"Breaking my balls, Mrs. Griffin?" John said it like cartman form South Park.

As the girls turn to their father, Peter Griffin.

"Emily, Persephone, when I get through with you two... Before you know it, you and Persephone will be beating John or guys off with two hands!" Peter explain when he is done with them they will beat off guys with two hands.

This cause the girls to get excited.

"This is gonna be so fun!" Persephone said in excitement.

"Hey! Zip it. Rule number one: No speakee until the man speakee to you." Peter tells the girls rule number 1: No speakee until the man speakee to you.

Now we join with Frank Jr, Frank, Meg, Brian and Stewie waiting in the table of the Winnebago as quagmire going with a woman to do his sexual activity.

"I say, are we moving on yet?" Stewie asked quagmire if the gonna move yet.

"Just hang out, little guy. I'll see you in a while." Quagmire said Stewie to calm down and relax as he going to be done soon.

"Oh, very well. I suppose I'll go pump the chemical toilet." Stewie said that he is going to pump the toiler in the Winnebago.

"Apparently you're about to do the same huh Glenn." Frank said about quagmire being sexual with women.

Now we see Frank Jr, Frank, Meg, Brian and Stewie waiting in the driver seats of the Winnebago.

"What the hell is taking him so long? I'm missing precious time with my father." Stewie said to the gang that he is miss missing precious time with his father.

"Which one of these is the horn?" Frank Jr asked his friend about the buttons as he press a button and it locks Meg's hand to the passage seat.

"That's not it." Stewie said as he press another one and it moves Meg's seat toward Frank in the driver seat.

"That's not it either." Frank Jr said as he press another button and it moves Meg's head towards Frank's crotch

"Do something." Meg said muffled in Frank's crotch.

"I'm afraid to press anything else." Frank Jr said in fear as if he press more, he and Stewie might be scared for life.

Now we join Emily, Persephone and peter in the bathroom.

"Okay, Emily, lesson one for attracting a man. I want you to shave my back." Peter explain the lesion, he want them to shave his back.

"Eew! Why would I want to do that?" Emily said, as she is gross out about what he is asking.

"Trust me, Emily. Shave a man's back for him and he'll purr like a walrus.' Peter said as he tells her to shave a man's back for him and he will purr like a walrus.

As Emily starts shaving peter's back, he stars moaning like a walrus.

Now we join Lois and the boys in John and Tyler's room.

All right, guys, now that we've talked about kissing and cuddling...it's time to practice eating out...at a fancy restaurant! Lois said as she show them a table that is from a fancy restaurant.

Now back to the Winnebago with our crew.

"All right, that's it." Frank said as he and Stewie left the van went to the rent room that quagmire was in.

"Listen, you pervert, what the devil is taking so lo- Good lord!" Stewie said in shocked as they discovers Quagmire is chained to a bed naked

"Oh, Frank and Stewie. Thank God. That cleaning lady cleaned me out. She took all my money. Grab those keys over there, will ya?" Quagmire explains that after the woman he hooked up with handcuffed him to the bed and took his cash.

As Frank and Stewie were piss off with quagmire for what he did, they took the keys of the table.

"What, these keys? These keys here? These the ones you want? Hmm? Up yours!" Frank said as he then takes the keys, both he and Stewie goes off without Quagmire.

As we join Frank Jr, Meg and Brian sleep until the Winnebago started moving. They both went to the front to find both Frank and Stewie driving it with no quagmire around.

"What the hell are you doing? Where's Quagmire?" Meg asked her husband about where is quagmire.

"He said to go without him." Stewie answer her sister question.

This made both Frank Jr and Meg look at each with a worried look as they trun to Frank and Stewie.

"We're stealing the Winnebago, aren't we?" Frank Jr said as he realized that they are stealing the Winnebago

"Oh, you can read us like a book, Frank Jr." Frank said as he is joking with his son and he gets him.

As after Frank begins to drive, he puts a John Deere hat with Stewie and he goes through the hand held radio.

"Breaker-breaker, Sidewinder. This is Party Pooper. Don't want to be a ratchet jaw...but looks like we've got a seat cover feeding the bears in a chicken coop, come on." Stewie said as "East Bound and Down", the Smokey and the Bandit theme song, begins playing as Frank drives off.

Now we join Persephone, Emily and peter in the car.

"Dad, why are we just sitting here?' Persephone asked her father on why they are sitting in the car alone.

"Just give me a minute, Persephone." Peter said as he tries something.

"What am I supposed to be learning about dating from...?" Persephone said as until she notice what peter did.

"Ahh." Peter said as he let out a satisfied sigh.

As the girls both cover their noses since peter farted in the car.

"Oh, my God, Dad! You farted!" Emily said outloud.

"That is so nasty!" Persephone said in agreement.

"No! No, no, Persephone, Emily, Girls, this is crucial. All right? The sexiest thing a woman can do for a man is learn to love his gas. Love the gas, girls. Love it!" Peter said as he teaches them about how to treat a man through loving the man's flatulence.

As he farts, again louding and the girls could not take as they tried to escape but peter stops them.

"No, Persephone! No, no! This is why we're here. This is why we're here. This is why we're here." Peter said as he calm them down by hugging them.

Now we join Lois Griffin tries to teach the boys how to talk with girls by making Chris memorize the characters of Sex and the City in John and Tyler's room.

"Chris, you've gotta learn how to talk to girls. So I'll ask you again: What are the names of the women on Sex and the City?" Lois asks Chris who the women are in Sex and the City.

"Uh... Carrie...Miranda, uh...Samantha and...uh, Scrappy-Doo?" Chris lists Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Scrappy-Doo, the nephew of Scooby-Doo.

As John and Tyler sigh since Chris fails to name all of the girls, by saying Scrappy-Doo is one of them.

"Hit him, Endo." Lois orders Endo to give him electroshocks

"Aaah! Aaah! Aah! Bosley? Uh, Tootie? Uh, Sheena Easton? Aaah! Aaah!" Chris said as he guessed Bosley from the campy 1970's action show Charlie's Angels, Tootie from the 1980s sitcom The Facts of Life, and singer Sheena Easton.

"You bitch, take me instead!" Tyler cries as he watches Chris being shocked.

As john turn to the audience with a sad look.

"It's a living!" John said as sad music play with him was done talking.

Now we join Frank and Meg driving the Winnebago as Brian asked them something.

"Think we should go back for Quagmire?" Brian asked them if they should go back for quagmire.

"He'll be all right. He's resourceful." Frank said as he explain that quagmire is resourceful.

Meanwhile in the motel room with quagmire. Where he still chained to the hotel bed (from when the cleaning lady left him there)

"Damn it!" Quagmire said as he tries to move but he was still chain.

Until he turns on a porno movie, so he can arouse himself.

"Yeah! Okay! Yeah! That's It! Again! Yeah! All right!" Quagmire said as he arouse himself to the point where he is able to use his erect penis to call 911.

Now we join the Winnebago as it gets bumping, this cause the couple to run toward the driver seat.

"Are you alright?" Brian asking Stewie if he is okay

"NEVER BETTER! I GOT SOME PEP PILLS FROM A TRUCKER AT THE LAST STOP! KEEPS ME AWAKE!" Stewie said as he explains that he gotten pills from a trucker at the last stop to keep him awake.

This shocked Meg and her son, Frank Jr.

"You took pills?" Meg asked her brother on why he take pills from a stranger.

"WEST COAST TURNAROUNDS! TRUCKER SAID TO ONLY TAKE ONE, BUT I TOOK ALL OF THEM!" Stewie explain that the trucker said to only take one but he took them all.

This cause both Frank and Meg to look at each worried for Stewie's wellbeing

"Look, maybe you should slow down..."Brian asked Stewie to slow down.

"WHY? WE'RE MAKING GOOD TIME!" Stewie shouted at them that they are making good time off the road.

"We're not even on the road." Frank said to Stewie that they are not even on the road.

"HUH?" Stewie asked in confusion on what Frank is saying.

"I said we're not even on the road!" Frank reply to him that they are not on the road.

"DON'T NEED TO BE! COMPASS SAYS WEST, THAT'S WHERE WE'RE HEADED!" Stewie shouted at them that they are going west.

"Stewie, we're in the middle of the desert." Brian explain to Stewie that they are at the desert.

"I KNOW! IMAGINE THE NADS ON THOSE GUYS WHO DID THIS IN A WAGON! PIONEERS, BRIAN! WE SHARE THEIR SPIRIT! MANIFEST DESTINY!" Stewie said, as he was too fully buzzed and awake to talk straight.

"OK, that's it, give me the wheel!" Frank said as he tries to take the wheel.

"GO TO HELL!" Stewie said as they fight for the wheel until they crash the Winnebago.

This cause the airbags to activate and they knocked out Stewie but cause both Frank to crash in camel poop.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Frank and Frank Jr shouted in anger as the camel poop on them.

This cause the gang to abandon the Winnebago, they walk through the hot desert.

"This is horrible." Frank said as he walk with Frank Jr on his back.

"I'm so thirsty." Meg said as she is sweaty and she losing weight.

"Oh my god, guys, Brian! Do you see what I see?" Stewie said as he and Brian think they see a Dr Pepper Machine.

This cause the Mallque Family to smile and scream joy.

"A Dr. Pepper machine!" Brian said as he too see a Dr Pepper Machine.

"Yes! I can taste it now!" Stewie said as they race to it.

The five rush to the machine laughing, then they get there and their faces fall

"Dammit, it was a mirage." Brian said as they only to find it is a mirage

"Ugh, an RC Cola machine..." Frank said as they notice it was actually an RC Cola Machine.

This cause Stewie gives up.

"Oh, that's it! I give up!" Stewie said as he give up

What do you mean? Frank Jr asked on what he means.

"I never should have attempted this in the first place. It was stupid!" Stewie said that he shouldn't have attempted this in the first place and It was stupid.

"Hey, hey. Come on, now. You've come this far. Haven't you?" Brian said that they came this far now.

"It's no use! Even if my real father is out there, he probably doesn't want to see me." Stewie said as he cries of think that his real father doesn't want to see him.

"You gotta see this through to the end. Maybe this person is your real father. Maybe not. But if you don't find out, you're gonna spend the rest of your life wondering." Frank Jr tells him that he has gone this far and cannot stop now.

"Well, maybe you guys are right." Stewie said, as he feels better after their speech.

"Come on. Brian and I will stick by you the whole way...just like we did when we were all Siamese triples." Frank Jr said as he set up a cutaway about them being Siamese triples.

 **Cutaway**

As we see Frank Jr, Brian and Stewie have their eyes attached to each other.

"Hey, look at that woman, Brian. She has no business in shorts. Hey! You have no business in shorts! Ooh, tortillas! Let's do soft tacos tonight" Stewie suggested.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join the Griffin family at their house in the living room at nighttime. After several "lessons", Peter and Lois send this kids to the mall.

Well, we've taught you well, children. It's in God's hands now. Now you girls go to the mall and find yourself some dates. Peter said as he tell the girls that they have learn enough to get them some dates.

As they hug and the girls left toward the door, leave the boys with Lois.

"John, use what I have taught you to get Persephone to be yours for good. As for Chris and Tyler, Find a girl who smokes. Remember, if she smokes, she pokes." Lois said as she tell john to get Persephone by any means while Chris and Tyler most get girls who smoke.

At the end, they send their kids off to get a boyfriends and girlfriends.

"Bye, kids." Lois said good-bye to their kids as they leave but she then turn to peter with a worried look.

"Do you think they're ready, Peter?" Lois asked him if their kids are ready for dating.

"I don't care. All I care about is that we have our alone time." Peter explain that he doesn't care, all he care about is that they have their alone time.

"Me too. Are we terrible people?" Lois said in agreement, but she is concerned that people will think they are bad parents simply because they wanted their children out of the way.

"Nah, nah. We're not terrible people, Lois. Horses are terrible people." Peter said to reassure her that they are not terrible people, as he show a cutaway about Horses are terrible people.

 **Cutaway**

"Murder! Murder!" an old woman panicked as a horse was looking at her evilly.

 **Cutaway Ends**

As Frank, Meg, Frank Jr, Brian and Stewie arriving in San Francisco by rental car.

"Well, we made it. San Francisco." Frank said as they drive toward the hotel.

"I bet this city's filled with kooky roommates...like the kind you see all living together on TV." Frank Jr said as he is excited for the kooky roommates that living together from TV.

Then it cuts to the ThunderCats cut-away as Lion-O, Cheetara and Snarf are in Cats' Lair.

"Hey, Lion-O, what's going on?" Cheetara asked him on what going on

"I'm not sure, Cheetara. But I've got a bad feeling Mumm-Ra's up to something." Lion-O explain that he has a bad feeling that Mumm-Ra's up to something

"Hmm. I'll be right back. I'm gonna use the john." Cheetara said that she would be right back and she is gonna use the john

"Eye of Thundera, give me sight beyond sight." Lion-O said as he uses his Sword of Omens to spy on Cheetara in the bathroom.

Until he was interrupted by snarf.

"Lion-O, what are you doing? Snarf! Snarf!" Snarf asked him on what's he is doing.

"Oh, hey, uh- Not much, not much." Lion-O said as he denies what he just did while hding the sword behing his back.

Now we join the mallque family enter the hotel with Brian and Stewie.

"You want to get wasted or something?" Brian asking Frank if they can get wasted.

"Let's split up and try to find him." Stewie said as they all spilt up into groups as he and Frank Jr enter an elevator.

But they had to share with one guys in a white suit on his cell phone and he is shouting.

"Yeah, I just checked in. Yeah, I might lose you. I just got in the elevator. Yeah, I'm gonna grab a shower.D- Did you guys eat yet? No- No, I'll- No, I'll just take a cab. You got your car? Do you wanna pick me up? Do you- Do you wanna- Do you wanna pick me up? Do you wanna pick me up? Do you wanna pick me up? Do you wanna pick me up?" the guy in the white said to his friend.

As he was piss off Stewie and Frank Jr, when they reach their floor while whistling living tune and they leave the guy dead with his blood all over the elevator floor.

That's until they spot the man leaving the lobby.

"Father!" Stewie finds him and follows him out of the hotel.

As Stewie and Frank Jr jumps from the upper floor window of the San Francisco Park Barrington Hotel.

Stewie shown as being "played" by a stunt man, who wears a mustache and a bald cap, in a poor disguise of Stewie.

When the "stunt double" lands in the dumpster, a classic "Texas switch" is portrayed, with the real Stewie and Frank Jr emerging from the trash.

That is when several Jawas are seen trying to steal Stewie's rental car.

"Aah! Utedi.! Utedi.!" Stewie speaks Jawanese proclaiming "Utini!"

"Filthy creatures." Frank Jr quoting C-3PO from Star Wars Episode IV, "Filthy creatures."

Then they enter the car, as a downhill car chase ensues.

As Stewie follows the taxi which Stu has taken, it is a parody of the car chase in the 1968 film Bullitt starring Steve McQueen

"Whoa-ohh!" Frank Jr said as Stewie then crashes into a fruit cart and loses his father.

"Damn! Why is there always a fruit stand?" Stewie asked Frank Jr on why is there always a fruit stand!

Meanwhile we see a man listing in his office a report about Powell and Market.

"High-speed pursuit in progress...headed south on Powell toward Market Street." Man voice reported a High-speed pursuit in progress...headed south on Powell toward Market Street.

"You heard him, people. Powell and Market. Move it!' Manger said to other fruit cart to go to Powell and Market.

Now we join ourselves at Ashbury St. and Haight St. with Stewie and Frank jr talking to hippies.

"I feel like I've searched this whole bloody city. I suppose this means I'll never find the answer to who I really am." Stewie tell what happed to two hippies on a bench.

"Oh, well. See you gents later. Free Tibet. No grapes. All that." Frank Jr said good bye to the two hippies on the bench.

"Dude, I could have sworn that Nerf football was just talkin' to me." One of the hippies said about Stewie being a Nerf football.

As Frank Jr and Stewie decides to take the trolley and sits next to a man reading the newspaper.

Are you done with the arts section? Stewie asked the man if he is done with the arts section.

"Of course." Stu said as he is the person that they are looking for.

"Huh!" Frank Jr gasp in shocked

"Huh!" Stewie gasp also in shocked

"Huh!" The man name Stu gasp as well.

"Oh, my God! It you!' Frank Jr said in excitement

"Oh, dear. Oh, dear, oh, dear. This is not good. This is very bad. Very bad." Stu says, as this is a reference to the film Rain Man during Raymond's emotional outburst about the hot water in the tub.

"Oh, Daddy, I knew I'd find you! I knew Peter couldn't be my real father!" Stewie said in excitement to finally meet his father.

"No, no, no. You've gotten it all wrong, Stewie." The man reply to him that he got it all wrong.

"Stewie? How do you know his name?" Frank Jr asked the man on how he know stewie's name.

"Because I'm not his father. I'm him, Frank Jr." Adult Stewie said as Both Frank Jr and Stewie are shocked to discover that the man is actually Stewie from 30 years in the future.

As theme from soap playing the scene as the announcer guy take over.

"Could this man rally be Stewie?" Announcer explain what going on.

The scene changes to the guy that Frank Jr and Stewie just kill in the elevator.

"Will the cell phone guy's friend pick him up?" Announcer explain what going on with this guy.

Then the scene changes with the family in the living being happy until they starty beat the crap out of each other.

"Will our younger readers get this soap reference? The answers to these questions and many others will be answered in the next episode." Announcer explain that they will get answers in the next episode.

 **Chapter end**

 **This is a three part special and I will post the movie after I'm done with these chapters. I hope everyone enjoyed! This is thanking for pen123 and Family Guy Fan writer 15, Thank you all for the cutaway, scenes, favoring, having me on alerts and with that. So enjoy and see you final chapters in season 4.**


	31. Chapter 80 – Jr & Stewie's Ex Adventure

**Chapter 80 – Frank Jr & Stewie's Excellent Adventure**

The opening sequence of the seven-segment display "FG" is a reference to the _24_ sequence.

"Previously, on _Family Guy_ ," The voiceover said as he is voiced by Kiefer Sutherland who plays Jack Bauer, the protagonist on _24_.

"Maybe this summer he and Frank Jr should take swim lessons." Frank said to his father in law that the babies need to take swim lesson.

As Both Emily and Lois nodded in agreement.

"Would ya like that, Stewie?" Lois Encouraged Stewie to take swimming lessons.

As it show a picture of Lois griffin

Then the scene change to stewie screaming as he is crushed beneath the lifeguard chair.

As it show a picture of Stewie Griffin.

Then the scene change to stewie able to climb out of the collapsed tower.

As Lois rushes over to her baby and put him in her arms.

"I'm alive. I'm alive!" Stewie said as he glad to be alive and not having sex with Steve Allen.

Then the scene show Stewie sees someone identical to him.

"Who the hell was that?" Stewie asked his family on the man who looks like him but older.

"What the fuck?" Frank Jr said in question about the man who looks like his uncle/best friend.

As they watch Tricia asked the man who looks like stewie about the rename San Francisco.

"Well, given the wonderful shoe shopping, I would cast my vote for, "Heaven"." Adult Stewie look alike said as it shocked everyone in the room about his appearance.

As the scene show a picture of the guy with the word saying weird older guy who kind of looks like stewie.

"Oh, Daddy, I knew I'd find you! I knew Peter couldn't be my real father!" Stewie said in excitement to finally meet his father.

"Because I'm not his father. I'm him, Frank Jr." Adult Stewie said as Both Frank Jr and Stewie are shocked to discover that the man is actually Stewie from 30 years in the future.

Then it show a unrelated clip of the Chevy Chase show with him accidently throw a blonde chick birthday cake.

 **Narrator** _  
_ _Fresh out the net box  
Stop, look, and watch  
Ready yet, get set  
It's Family Guy!_

We see paparazzi taking photos of the cast as they come out of the limo and they walk on the red carpet.

 **Chorus:** _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

First it show Frank waling out of the limo with a poster with the words "oh" and he poses for the camera.

Then its shows Meg comes in looking all sexy as she signs autographs while she winks at the fans.

Then it turn to Lois comes in hopping while grabbing rose as she gives a kiss toward the fans.

 **Chorus:** _Check it, check it, check it  
Now this is just an introduction  
Before I blow your mind  
The show is All of That and yes we do it all the time_

Then it shows Frank Jr poses as he pull his hat down his chest as he throws a rose to the Fans.

Then next person to show up on the carpet is Stewie. As he flips his hat back to his head while he give autographs to fans.

Then Brian comes in sliding on the red carpet as he waves at the fan as he walks in _._

 **Chorus:** _So sit your booty on the floor or in a chair  
Ground or in the air  
Just don't go nowhere_

Then Emily comes in give autographs as she smiles at the fans as she tells one of her fans to call her.

Then the scene shows Persephone puts a rose on her mouth with a sexy angry look on her face.

 **Chorus:** _Cause everything we do  
It's all of that!  
When entertaining you  
We all of that!_

Then Chris shimming down the carp as he gives the fan a shout out.

Then Peter slide towards the carpet as he flips his hat back on his head.

 **Chorus:** _My posse and my crew  
It's all of that!  
So sit still cause we're coming right back_

Then the scene shows John throws a rose at his fans.

As the scene, changes to Tyler puts on rose his mouth as he gives everyone thumbs up.

 **Chorus:** _Oh, oh, oh  
This is All That  
This is All That!_

Then scene change to the Family Guy MC Cast walks down the stairs as they take a group photo while looking gangsters of the 80. All this while music ends as the scene fades to black.

The scene opens with stewie and Frank Jr still in the trolley with older stewie griffin.

You're me from the future? That's absurd. Stewie said in shocked

"I'm afraid it's true, Stewie. I'm the man you dreamed you'd be when you were alone in your bedroom...planning world domination and singing Donna Summer into your hairbrush." Stu said as he proves to Stewie Griffin that he is really his future self

By singing "No More Tears (Enough Is Enough)". which is a duet from 1979 by Donna Summer and Barbra Streisand. While Summer was famous for her disco material and Streisand for her more easy listening and soundtrack work, this song merged both sounds with a slow beginning which then evolved into a disco song.

 **Stu:** _Tell him to just get out_

 _Nothing left to talk about_

 **Stewie:** _Pack his raincoat, show him out_

 _Just look him in the eyes and simply shout_

 **Both:** _Enough is enough is enough_

 _I can't go on I can't go on_

 _No more no_

 _Enough is enough is enough_

 _I want him out I want him out_

 _that door now_

"It is you- Uh, big stewie! Oh, God, I have to many questions about the future. Is all food in pill form? Do they have flying cars?" Frank Jr asked him about the future until Stewie interrupts him.

"Did they ever find a successful vehicle for Ellen Cleghorne?" Stewie asks Future Stewie if there has been a successful vehicle for Ellen Cleghorne. Ellen Cleghorne was a popular black female cast member on the NBC sketch show, _Saturday Night Live_ in the 1990s, who hasn't been in anything of importance since she left _SNL_ in 1995.

"I can't answer those questions. I'm not even supposed to be talking to any of you. It's a violation of the terms of my vacation." Stu explain that he not supposed to be talking to them. It's a violation of the terms of his vacation.

"Vacation?" Frank Jr and Stewie asked him on what vacation in question.

"Yes. In the future, people take vacations not to destinations, but to periods of time. Just last summer I went back to visit Jesus Christ. Turns out his abilities might have been exaggerated a bit." Stu explain that he is taking a time-travel vacation. He set up a cutaway about the last summer he went back to visit Jesus Christ. Turns out his abilities might have been exaggerated a bit.

 **Cutaway**

We see people and Stu watching Jesus Christ mumbling and dancing.

 **Cutaway Ends**

"I've already said enough. I should be getting back." Stu said as he need to return back to the future since his vacation is over.

"You can't just leave me. I must know my future." Stewie exclaim that he needs to know about his future.

"Sorry. It's against the rules. Good-bye, Frank Jr, Stewie." Stu said as When he travels back to the future, both Frank Jr and Stewie surprise him.

"Surprise!" Frank and Stewie shouted as they stow away with him to his return trip into the future.

Then they disappear in a blue light and they reappear in quahog.

"Oh, this is just great." Stu said in complain tone.

As both the babies jump off Stu's shoulders to awe the future.

"I can't believe it! This is the future- Wait a minute. Everything looks the same." Frank Jr said as he was excited but then he notices that his home hasn't change.

"Well, of course. It's only been 30 years." Stu said that it only 30 year in the future.

"Where are the monuments to me? Where are my legions of followers? I thought I'd be absolute ruler of the world by now, far away from that house full of idiots." Stewie explain that he didn't became a powerful overlord in the future and set up a cutaway about the idiot's he live with in the house

 **Cutaway**

As we join John, Tyler, Emily, Peter, Chris and Brian in the living room on the couch. As Brian opens a candy bar. He drops it on the ground as Peter and Chris fight for it, but they got knocked out. As John, Tyler, Emily and Brian puts their feet over their bodies as they relaxes.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the future quahog with both Stewie's and Frank Jr.

"Sorry, Stewie. I abandoned my quest for world domination long ago." Stu explain to his younger self that he abandon his quest for world domination long ago.

"Yes, that good since I would kill him in a final battle if he did that!" Frank Jr explain what he would do to Stewie if he did that.

This cause stewie to give Frank Jr the stank face then he turn to his future self for more answers.

"Well, am I at least a city councilman or something?" Stewie asked his future self if he is at least a city councilman or something.

"Sorry." Stu said as he did do that either.

"Oh, this is nothing like I imagined. I thought the future would be different...with jet packs, eco-domes and TV they can beam right into your head." Stewie said as he is disappointed, and he set up a cutaway about TV they can beam right into your head.

 **Cutaway**

As we a man going to futuristic video store and he talks to the video employee.

"Give me Mork and Mindy" a man told a video employee what he wanted as his face is scanned.

"hahaha! that's not how you sit in a chair!" the man laughs as he got the shows joke.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join the babies in Stu's car as he drive toward the Mallque/Griffin house.

"I'm late to Sunday dinner with the family. You two have to wait in the car until I can send you guys back." Stu explain to then babies that he is late for Sunday brunch with the family so he is leave them in the car.

"Wait in the car? We shall do no such thing." Frank Jr said

"Hey, did they ever unfreeze Walt Disney?" Stewie asked his future self if they unfreeze Walt Disney.

"Ugh. Unfortunately." Stu said with disgust as he set up a cutaway about Walt Disney being unfreezing.

 **Cutaway**

We see an underground lab with a scientist unfreezing the creator of Disney.

"Welcome back Mr. Disney" a scientist said as he opened a chamber.

"Are the Jews gone yet?" Walt Disney wondered.

"Uh, no." scientist said

"Put me back in!" Walt Disney said as he wants to be put back in the freezer.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join the Mallque/Griffin house as we see old peter griffin watching tv in his underwear.

Until old Lois came into the living room with adult Frank Jr

"Peter, Put some pants on. The kids'll be here any minute." Lois said as she asked peter to put some pants on since their kids are coming home.

"In a second, Lois. I'm watching the Britney Spears comeback concert." Peter said as he watching Britney Spears' disastrous comeback concert.

She appeared in "Britney's Back", her comeback performance. She was severely overweight, had diabetes, and had a peg leg.

"Hi, everybody! I may have lost a foot to diabetes...but I'm still sexy, y'all! Now I'm gonna dance for ya!" Britney Spears tells her fan that her diabetes will not stop her for being sexy.

Then She decided to try to dance in her wheelchair and fell on a radio and caught on fire.

Then we join the griffin couple on the couch until Lois heard the doorbell ring.

She opens the door and she sees her son, Stu and the babies in disguise.

"Oh, Stew. My big boy." Lois said her second born son.

"Hello, Mother!" Stu said hello to his mom and hug her.

This shocks the babies on how old Lois is but mostly Stewie since he hates her with a burning passion.

"She's still alive? What the hell, man?" Stewie said in shock on how she is still alive.

"Shut up dude!" Frank Jr said as he slaps Stewie to shup up and this cause Adult Frank Jr to recognized them.

"I brought a guest. This is, um, uh, Pablo and Gabriel, children from Nicaragua I've been sponsoring." Stu explain about the babies being kids from Nicaragua that he been sponsoring.

"Wow that's nice, hey Stu can I talk to you in the kitchen for a minute." Adult Frank Jr said as he drags him into the kitchen.

"What the hell Stu! Why are our younger selves here In the future?" Adult Frank Jr said to stu about taking their younger selves here in the future.

"I know man, but they jump me when I return. But that's okay, mom will never know since we are master of disguise as kids." Stu explain that they will be fine since those kids are themselves.

"True my dude, very true!" Adult Frank Jr said in agreement as they return to see adult lois talking to young stewie.

"My! How wonderful! Me gusta Nicaragua." Lois said in Spanish about liking Nicaragua.

"Mmm, yes. Is that where you got that leather handbag? Oh, I'm sorry. That's your face! Ha ha! Oh! Got you! Thirty years later, I still freaking got you! Oh, God! I feel as invincible as Superman." Stewie said as he zings his mother for once and sets up a cutaway about being invincible as superman.

 **Cutaway**

As Superman flies by Wonder Woman's invisible plane.

"Hey there, Wonder Woman. Flying your invisible plane, I see" Superman said as he starts hitting on her.

but in an awkward moment she's in the jet's bathroom.

"Boy, this is awkward. I'm- I'm, uh, actually in the lavatory of the invisible plane" Wonder Woman said as she sits with her pants down.

"Oh. You mean, right now you're…" Superman wondered.

"Yeah" Wonder Woman said as she flushed the toilet as she pulled her pants up and went back to fly her plane.

"I couldn't help but notice you didn't wash your hands in the invisible sink" Superman noticed.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the living room as Chris arrives with his wife and his children from other woman he sleep with.

"Hi, everybody. Sorry we're late." Chris said hello to everyone, while he apologies about being late.

"Stop fuckin' apologizing. You sound like a fuckin' woman." Vanessa said a remark about his apologizing.

"I suppose one of you has to. Oh, what a nice blouse, Vanessa." Lois said sarcastically to reponed her daughter in law remark and she like her blouse.

"Chris's wife." Stu and Adult Frank Jr introduce the babies to Chris wife.

"Oh, thanks. I'm not sure my tiny brain could've put that one together." Stewie said sarcastically about realizing who that woman is to this family.

"Damn it, I thought he will end up with lana or loka?" Frank Jr said in disappointment in hoping that Chris is not gonna end up with the girls that he knew threw out Chris's love life.

"Actually, Chris is still in contact with them and he has visitation right to his kids. Also, they live in this neighborhood at old man Herbert house after he was murder by the many kids he rapes." Adult Frank explain that Chris still contact with his girlfriends since he is responsible with his kids and provide them with everything.

That when John and Persephone came in with their kid Serena biteo who looks like sailor moon.

"Hey guys!" John said hello to his family until he and Persephone notice Vanessa.

"Shit! Hey Vanessa, your ugly bitch!" Persephone said hello while insult her.

Coming Inside the building, Adult Frank is taking decorations from basement to to the kitchen with his toddler Ai mimicking him. His wife Meg comes out of kitchen with a pot and Ai starts mimicking her.

"Frank, you were supposed to put up all the decorations this morning!" Meg said in disappointment

"I was helping customers in pizzeria." Frank reply that he was help at the pizzeria

"You were gossiping with the customers." Meg

"I do not gossip! By the way, did you hear Vito Filliponio whitens his teeth?" Frank said his answer while gossiping soemthingh to his wife.

"Ugh." Meg said in disgust as she enter the kitchen.

As they take care of business, his digimon drago comes out of basement with a bone.

"Too slow!" Drago said as he fly to dodge what is chasing him.

Then a Big dog like dragon dorumon chases after the red dragon.

"Drago! Give doru back his toy!" Meg shouted at drago from the kitchen to give back the bone to dorumon.

Then Enter Emily daughter Veronica with her hair all frizzy.

"Andy! Did you use all my hair product again?!" Veronica said as she calls out her brother.

Then Enter self-proclaimed stud Andy.

"This kind of handsome doesn't happen on its own." Andy said in smug tone.

As Veronica grabs Andy and starts rubbing his hair against hers.

"STOP IT! YOU'RE SMOOSHING THE FLAIR!"Andy

Then their mother Emily takes a picture of them fighting and she isoverjoyed.

"I love seeing my babies play so sweetly." Emily said as she gets tears in her eyes and cries into the next apartment with her daughter Millie following and to gun her down.

As Andy and Veronica fix their hair and go their separate ways. Enter one more kid named TJ wearing a cape and he is Tyler's kid.

"I'm Super TJ!" TJ said as he makes whooshing noises and pretends to fly with Ai mimicking that.

Then Tyler came inside, and he is reading a book. He wears black glasses that has a square frame, a cream long sleeved shirt, a light blue sweater, a red necktie, brown pants, a black belt with a yellow buckle, and dark red shoes.

"Okay, Super TJ, just watch where you're going." Tyler said to his son and he walks into a wall.

"Oof! Huh, whoopsie." Tyler said as heclears throat and reads his book.

"Ooh! Did you know that sea anemones glow when they're scared?" Tyler said about sea anemones glow when they are scared.

"Uncle tyler, it's the weekend. You're not supposed to be doing reviewing stuff." Veronica tell tyler that it's the weekend and he should be reviewing books.

"Oh, this isn't for work. It's just for fun." Tyler explain to his niece that he is read for fun not work.

"Nerd alert!" drago said as he fly's by them.

As Meg came out of the kitchen and she hands Tyler a casserole dish.

"Tyler, put this on the table for me, please." Meg asked him to put the casserole at the diner table.

While Tyler is too busy reading his book, dorumon eats up the casserole which Ai imitates. TJ continues playing his superhero game.

As Emily come out of the kitchen with a curtain

"Where should we put this?" Emily asked Meg where to put the curtain. Until everyone in the family was out of the kitchen.

"No no no!" / "Right here!" / "Why did we wait so long to do this?" / "They're gonna be here any second!" Every one of the Mallque's starts arguing about the arrangements.

Until Frank pushes them into the dining room. As Frank Jr about to ask them about the rest of the family his older self-stop.

"We will tell you when dinner starts!" adult Frank Jr reply.

Now we turn to adult Chris talking to his mother.

"Mom, I notice your hedges are pushing out onto the curb, and that's a violation. And your tags are expired, and one of your taillights is busted. I'm not gonna run you in, but I will if you don't give me a cookie.!" Chris said as a police officer, pressing charges on his mom, then demanding to get a cookie if he won't turn his mom in.

"Here you go, sweetie." Lois said as she takes out a cookie.

As Adult chris then receives the cookie from Lois.

"Yea!" Adult Chris said in excitement.

"Oh, cookie!" a Chris look alike said as he came in and Lois gave him a cookie as well.

"Who is he? And why does he look like uncle Chris? Frank Jr asked his older self about the Chris look alike.

"That's Chris Griffin Jr, Chris's son with Amy walker. Someone that you'll meet in a few years." Adult Frank Jr explain Chris's son with another woman.

"Yeah, that's what that fat pig needs- a fuckin' cookie." Vanessa makes a remark about it.

"Hi, Vanessa. Well, don't you look nice- Oh, no! I broke my hip!" Old Peter said as he fakes breaking his hip and falls on the floor.

Then Old Peter scooches over to Vanessa to peek over her skirt and he see her underwear.

"You need some help, Dad?" Chris asked him if he needs some help.

"No, I'm good." Old perter said as he is good at his place on the floor with him looking at Vanessa's underwear.

"Oh, are these the pictures from your trip to Sonoma? Oh, my God! Oh, look how beautiful the countryside is. Oh, I'd love to get a house out there if I had the money!" Stu said as he found some picture of his parent trip to Sonoma.

"That was a swell vacation. Much better than that time I was stuck on that island with Bono." Peter recalling the time he was stranded on a desert island with Bono.

 **Cutaway**

We join Peter as he was stranded on a desert island with Bono, where they had a crate of food

"Bono, stop screwin' around...and open up that damn crate of food." Peter said as he wants food to eat.

"I'm saving this for the starvin' children of the world in case we get rescued." Bano said crate of food that Bono was "Saving for the starving children" when they get rescued

"Yeah, you know what? That's us. We're starvin'. Now open it up!" Peter said

"I can't do that, Peter. It's for the starvin' children." Bano reply with the same answer.

Only for Peter to find Bono "tasting" the food to "see if the starving children would like it."

Aha! Peter said as he caught him red hand in food.

"I'm just makin' sure it tastes good for the starvin' children." Bano said explain that if the starving children would like it.

As Peter then proceeds to beat up Bono and eat the food himself.

 **Cutaway ends**

Now back to the living room as someone enter the Mallque/Griffin home.

"Knock knock." A man said who look like Meg but with light brown hair and with a ghetto mustache.

"Oh, hi, Ron." Frank said hello to Ron Griffin Mallque.

"Who is that fellow? He looks so familiar." Frank Jr asked his older self on the guy who just enter their home.

"It's your younger brother Ron, Mom and Dad had a sex again right after college." Adult Frank Jr explain that he is the younger sibling after Frank Jr.

"Wow! I have another brother and Mom went to college?" Frank Jr said in awe about his new brother and his mom going to college.

"I can't stay too late. I gotta go shop for tacos. You know, for my stomach, where I put my food in." Ron explain that he is always hungry which annoys his Grandfather Peter.

"We get it, Ron. You're always hungry." Old Peter said as he tells him to shut up already.

This cause stewie and Frank Jr to asked their older selves about their extended family members.

"Also, who were those kids who came by?" Stewie asked them on the new members of their family with Frank Jr nod in agreement to this question.

"We'll let start with Emily, she can become the next generation housewife to a kind husband named James Cooper and they had three kids. Their firstborn is Veronica, A 13-year-old emo girl who looks like Emily except she wears black and her hair is longer than Emily currently hair, and also black. Their second born is Andy, a 10-year-old geeky boy with red slightly curly hair. And Finally, Millie, a two-year-old blond-haired girl who is the next generation of Stewie." Adult Frank explain about Emily and her family.

"Also, John and Persephone gotten married and move out. They live in quagmire old house. They have a daughter name serena biteo who look like Frank's older sister usagi from japan. That was weird when she was born." Stu explains what happen to john and Persephone.

This caused Frank Jr to look at John and Persephone with a sigh of relief.

"Then there is Tyler, he became successful book writer. He was also married until she die threw child birth leaving him one son, name Tyler junior aka TJ." Adult Frank explain what happened to Tyler and his life and they nodded in agreement.

Now we see both versions of Frank Jr and Stewie walking up stairs to tour their future home until stewie notice something on the hallway wall.

"What is this one, my prom?" Stewie asked his older self about the picture of himself at prom.

"Oh, yes. That's Shirley Blitt. We couldn't do any dancing because of her club foot, but the punch was delicious. I think somebody put mango in it. Isn't it funny that I remember that after all these years?" Stu showing Stewie his prom photo.

This caused Frank Jr to walk way slowly from that awkward conversation.

Now we join them outside in the backyard where there is a grave of one family member.

"Well, there he is." Stu said as he shows his younger self and Frank Jr the grave of Brian Griffin.

"Oh, this is fantastic!" Stewie said as he takes a sharp marker and wrote douchebag on Brian's tombstone.

"That's not really appropriate, Stewie." Stu said to stewie that write on the tombstone is wrong.

"Oh, of course it is. I loathed that know-it-all, flea-bitten mutt." Stewie explain to his older self that he loathed Brian during his young life.

"No, it's just that the meaning of that word has changed ever since President Douchebag." Adult Frank Jr explains to Stewie that has become unfashionable to call someone a douchebag after President Douchebag defeated candidate Daterape in cutaway.

"Yeah your favorite president!" Stu said in agreement.

 **Cutaway**

As we see President Douchebag makes an announcement at an election ceremony.

"I just received a call from my worthy opponent, Senator Daterape. President Douchebag said about receiving a call from senator Daterape.

This cause everyone to boo that name including adult Frank Jr.

"No, no. He ran a good campaign, but the people of America have spoken, and they're saying they want four more years of Douchebag!" the president cheered.

"Douchebag! Douchebag! Douchebag! Douchebag!" fans applauded.

 **Cutaway Ends**

"That is some fuckin' good dinner, Mrs. Griffin." Vanessa said to her mother in-law that dinner was fucking good.

"Hahaha! Thank you. Excuse me. I'm gonna go help Peter with the dishes." Lois said thank you to Vanessa complement and goes to the kitchen to help peter with the dishes.

Frank, Meg, John, Persephone, Tyler, Emily, Stu, I need your help. I need you guys to tell those parents of yours they're moving into a retirement home...'cause Mr. Empty Sac over here won't do it. Vanessa asked Frank, Meg, John, Persephone, Tyler, Emily and Stu to putting Lois and Peter into a retirement home, all so that she and to an extent Chris, could get the house.

"Stu, you don't want Mom and Dad to go to a retirement home, do you?" Chris asked Stu that he also doesn't want to put their parents into a retirement home as well.

"Well, u-uh, it's, uh- I…" Stu tries to talk but he is scared of Vanessa and he look at adult Frank Jr for help.

As adult Frank Jr sighs and he come to the rescue again.

"Stu, could you help me with the dishes?" Adult Frank Jr said in Lois's voice as he threw his voice at the hallway to give stu an escape.

"Be right there, Mother! Actually, Vanessa?" Stu said as he tries to explain to Vanessa his explanation about the house.

This cause Adult Frank Jr to rolls his eyes and he wraps it up with his voice again.

"Stu, I need your help! There are dishes everywhere!" Adult Frank Jr said in Lois's voice to make stu go out of the dining room pronto.

"Oh, sorry. Must go." Stu said as he run out of the dining room.

Now back to Chris with his wife.

"Well, I can't do it to 'em. They're my parents." Chris explain to his wife that he can't do it since they are his parents and he loves them.

"Don't you ever want to inherit this house, you fat fuck? Or am I the only one who has any desire to move out from under the fucking power lines? What's that? Oh, it's cancer!" Vanessa asked him in anger about inherit this house? Or is she the only one who has any desire to move out from under the fucking power lines.

"Can we please not do this in front of Pablo and Gabriel?" Adult Chris asked her to not do this in front of the babies.

"Ah, screw them! That fuckin' kid's from Guam. Probably only speaks Spanish or some shit." Vanessa said screw them since she think they only speak Spanish.

"Let me tell you something, Nessa, a bullet sounds the same in every language." Stewie said as he makes an argument with Vanessa about a bullet sounds the same in every language.

"So stick a fucking sock in it, you cow." Frank Jr said as he tells her to shut her mouth before he does it for her.

This cause the family to retaliate as well to Vanessa's deal.

"Look, I had no intentions on selling my house. I am not moving out, and that's final." Emily said firmly with her kid nodding in agreement.

"Also, Vanessa, you can't inherit this house since I own it." Adult Frank explain to Vanessa that he owns the house.

"What the hell!" Vanessa said in shocked as the rest of the family turn to Frank for an explanation.

"Yeah, my father only lend it to them when he and my mom were on the run against the supremacy phoenixes, so my wife parents only own this house till I reach adult age which is now." Adult Frank explain that his father Jake Mallque only lend this house to peter when he and his wife were on the run the supremacy phoenixes.

"You can crash at my place tonight, but tomorrow we're going to get you back home." Adult Frank Jr explain to their younger selves that they crash at stu's place tonight, but tomorrow we're going to get you two back home.

"Well, welcome to Chez Stu." Stu said as he welcomes them to his home.

As the babies notice that stu is living in a low-rent apartment which his gross.

"Dear God, this is where you live?" Frank Jr said in shocked

"All alone in a filthy hovel?" Stewie said in disgust of his future living.

"Well, I wouldn't exactly say "alone." Let me introduce my roommate. He's sometimes late on the rent...and never shy about sharing the gas bill, if you know what I mean." Stu explain about having Rupert as a roommate and his bear having gas.

"Did you just make a fart joke?" Stewie said to his future self about making a fart joke.

"I think he did stewie, I think he did!" Frank Jr said in shocked

"Hey, Stu, got big plans for tonight? Sure do, Rupert. I'm finally going to organize my photo albums. Yeah, right!" Stu has a talk with is bear about organize my photo albums but he was just joking.

That's when stewie notice something about his bear.

"I say, what happened to his leg? Oh, wait, now I remember." Stewie asked him on what happed to his bear's leg until he remember it in cutaway with Brian.

 **Cutaway**

As we join Brian and stewie in the kitchen.

"You are gonna sit there and tell me a flat tax doesn't favor the wealthy?" Brian asked.

"Not one bit, and it saves millions of man-hours that the complexity of the current tax code wastes which you would realize if you weren't retarded" Stewie explained, but Brian takes Rupert and eats his leg.

"Hey, give him back. Stop that. What are you doing? Give me back his leg" Stewie demanded.

"Oh, you'll get it back" Brian smirked.

 **Cutaway Ends**

We now join stu with the babies at his job at circuit shack as he show them The cartoon clipping from Parade Magazine is from The Lockhorns, a William Carrell one-panel cartoon series where the two primary characters are married despite bitterly hating each other.

"This is my bulletin board where I put all my favorite comic strips. See, look. Here's the Lockhorns. Mrs. Lockhorn is saying, "We're never going to another yard sale,"...because Mr. Lockhorn has clearly purchased a tuba! And from the look on her face...I'd say he's not playing it very well at all. You get it?" Stu said as he shows Stewie a clipping of a cartoon he cut out of the magazine and stuck behind his counter at Circuit Shack.

This cause both Stewie and Frank Jr to give a dirty look at him.

"You got these from Parade magazine? You read Parade magazine?" Stewie and Frank Jr said in shocked about stu reading parade magazine as it was the worse magazine in their time.

That's when one of Stu's co-worker come by to say hi

"Ohhh! Hey, Stu! It's Monday, which can only mean one thing!" as the female co-worker said its Monday and they know what that mean to them.

"Go-Gurt Day! hahahaha!" Stu and the female co-worker said together and laugh together.

"Oh, Fran, this is Pablo and Gabriel from Nicaragua. Pablo, this is Fran. She is hilarious!" Stu said as he introduce the babies to Fran and vice versa.

"Hey, Pablo and Gabriel. Just kiddin'!" Fran said as she does a hand puppet to say hi to the babies.

This caused Stu to laugh by that joke.

"I told you! She's so twisted!" Stu said to the babies that she is twisted in her jokes.

"Well, I'd better get back to my department...before Genghis the day manager makes his rounds." Fran said goodbye and she made fun of their boss.

"Genghis the day mana- Is that from something, or did you just make that up?" Stu said as he laughs and he asked her if got this joke from somewhere or she made it up.

"I just made it up!" Fran reply with a happy smile.

"Oh-ho-ho! Oh! All day long." Stu said as he waves good bye to his friend and the babies look so smug at stu.

"Well, I guess it's not all bad." Stewie reply that his life in the future turn out great for him.

"What do you mean?" Stu and Frank Jr asked him on what he means?

"Don't be coy, you dirty horndog. You're humping Fran. Tell me, how many times have we gotten into those Lane Bryant stretch pants?" Stewie asked him on how many time that he had sex with Fran.

"What? Never." Stu reply no about him having sex with Fran.

"Damn right, never- What do you mean, never?" Stewie said as he heard him said no and he is piss off.

"Stewie, I've never slept with any woman. I've never had sex." Stu tell stewie that he never slept with any woman.

This cause both Frank Jr and Stewie to jump Stu and push him on the floor.

"All right, that's it!" Frank Jr said as he and Stewie jump on to Stu's chest.

"I could handle the crappy apartment and the pedestrian job, but now you're telling me I'm a 35-year old _Parade_ magazine reading virgin?!" Stewie said to Stu that he will not take himself being a 35 year old virgin.

"Well, you, sir, are pathetic!" Frank Jr told Stu that he is pathetic.

"So forget about sending us back, because I'm not leaving until we do a complete overhaul...on this sad thing you call a life." Stewie told Stu that they are not going back until they we do a complete overhaul on Stu's life.

"Can I still read _Parade_?" Stu asked his younger self if he can still read _parade_.

"NO, YOU STILL CAN'T READ _PARADE_!" Stewie shouted no on his response.

Now we join the trio at Stu's apartment as they wear worker uniform. As stu is changing stewie's diaper.

"We've got a big day of overhauling your life ahead." Frank Jr said to the stewie's about working on fix this apartment.

"First we've got to fix up this apartment- Stop that. Stewie said as he is notice his older self is staring at his balls.

"What?" Stu asked on what.

"Why are you staring at my genitals?" Stewie asked him on why he is staring at his balls.

"I'm not allowed to tell you anything about your own future, but I will say this… Enjoy your left testicle while you can." Stu tells him to enjoy his left nut while he can.

"What?" Stewie said in shocked on what he said while Frank Jr laughs as he know what Stu said.

"I've said too much." Stu said in response that he will be quit.

A few moment later we see the boys are done with the renovation on the apartment.

"So, what do you think?" Stewie asked Stu on what he thinks about the new digs.

"I've got to hand it to you guys. It really is an improvement." Stu said as he thanks them for the changes.

"And you haven't even seen the best part. Stress-release candles for those extra-tough days at the office." Frank Jr said as he show Stu, the Stress-release candles for those extra-tough days at the office.

"You don't know the half of it. On Tuesdays I work Returns." Stu said as he sets up a cutaway about him doing returns on Tuesday at his job.

 **Cutaway**

We see stu at his job as a person toward his station.

"I bought this boombox here, and it's got this high-pitched whine" someone said as he brought a box.

"Well, let's have a look" Stu said as it was a baby inside the box.

"Ha-ha! It's yours now, sucker!" the man taunted.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the apartment in the living room couch.

"All right, now that you've got a swinging pad, it's time to bring Fran back here...and, um, you know." Stewie said to stu to call Fran so they can have sex.

"What?" Stu said in shocked as he doesn't know what he is talking about.

"Well, I have no idea." Stewie said as he doesn't know about sex either.

"I thought you knew." Frank Jr said as he thought that adult stewie knew abot sex since is an adult.

"No, I have no idea." Stu reply as he had no idea about sex either.

"You're the adult here. I was counting on you to know the mechanics, because- Well, let's face it, as a baby all I've got to go on is beer commercial innuendo...and that myth about where babies come from." Stewie said as he set up cutaway about the myth about where babies come from?

 **Cutaway**

Now we see a woman in her bed as a stork comes inside threw the window.

"Oh my God, the stork!" a woman said as a stork opened a bag to reveal a red light.

"Where's my baby?" she wondered.

"Sweetie, you and I are going to make the baby!" the stork said as sexy music played.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join Peter, Lois, Frank, Adult Frank Jr and Meg watching TV. Until Lois asked them on something.

Which Law and Order is this? Lois asked Peter on what version of law and order they are watching.

"This is Law and Order: P.C.A.M.P.I.E.O.F. T.D. - Petty Crimes Against Municipal Property In Excess of Five Thousand Dollars." Peter explain that they are watching Law and Order: Petty Crimes Against Municipal Property In Excess of Five Thousand Dollars.

Oh, that kid's spraying graffiti. Lois said as she notice that a kid on the TV is spraying graffiti on the wall.

"That is not gonna be cheap to have that wall repainted." Frank Jr reply as his parents nodded in agreement.

That's when John, Persephone, Chris and Tyler came in from the front door.

"Kids, what are you doing here?" Lois asked them on why are they here.

"Mom, Dad, Vanessa wants us to put you guys in a retirement home." Persephone explain that Vanessa want to put Peter and Lois in a retirement home.

"But I think it's ridiculous." Emily said in fit as she crosses her arms.

"And she is a bitch!" John said in response that Vanessa is a bitch.

"And said bitch wants the house!" Tyler exclaimed that Vanessa want the house and she take it without asking.

"A retirement home?" Lois said in shocked in going into a retirement home.

This caused the Mallque's to get piss off at this new which freak out John, Tyler and Chris.

"I told you mom, that bitch has to die for trying to take our house." Frank exclaimed that he will killed that woman for steal what not hers.

"When I get my hand on her, she will wish that she'll get our house!" Meg exclaimed that she make Vanessa wish that she was dead.

As Frank Jr text Stu on his phone about what just happed. The other kids are starting a mob with pitch forks and touches.

"Now, Vanessa says it's not that bad, Mom." Chris explain to his mom that the retirement home is not that bad.

"She says they have people there who will wipe your bottom." Tyler explain to them that the people in said home will wipe their bottoms.

This cause to make old peter surprise about this news as he leave the couch.

"You gotta be yankin' me. That is sweet! That doesn't sound ridiculous at all, boy Meg." Peter said as he agree with this agreement and he confuse Ron name with Meg's.

"My name is Ron." Ron said as he correct his grandpa with the right name while having a stank face.

"Oh, I wish Brian were here. He'd never let you put us in a home." Meg said as she wish that Brian was alive to stop them.

"Oh, but at least he's in a better place now." Frank said as he know that he is in heaven and he set up a cutaway about Brian being in heaven.

 **Cutaway**

We see Brian is in heaven with famous people.

"Wow, look at me. Hanging out drinking with Ernest Hemingway, Van Gogh and Kurt Cobain. Still, it feels like we all got here a little earlier than we should have" Brian said.

"Well, I finally collapsed under the weight of my own genius and shot myself" Ernest explained.

"I could not reconcile my passion with the way people around me were living, so I shot myself" Vincent explained.

"I hated the thought of my music becoming part of some bland corporate mechanism so I shot myself" Kurt added.

"Yeah, I, uh, I got into the garbage and ate some chocolate" Brian confessed.

 **Cutaway Ends**

We see Frank Jr, Stu and Stewie attempt to learn about sex by reading _The Joy of Sex_. The partners shown in the photographs illustrating this work were notoriously hirsute as the male wore a heavy dark beard, and she full pubic hair.

"My word!" Stu said in shocked about what he just read in the book.

"Yes, evidently the razor wasn't invented till sometime in the late '80s." Frank Jr said in agreement as he explain about the razor wasn't invented till sometime in the late '80s.

Then both Frank Jr and Stewie jump off the couch, they both face Stu.

"Okay, then let's begin. And here we go. And watch my hand. And one, two, three. Put it in, take it out. Put it in, take it out." Stewie said as he instruct Stu to move his hips in and out.

Then he starts sing " **I Am the Monarch of the Sea** " is a song from _H.M.S. Pinafore_ , a comic opera in two acts, with music by Arthur Sullivan and a libretto by W. S. Gilbert.

 **Stewie**

 _I am the monarch of the sea_

 _The ruler of the queen's navy_

 _Whose praise Great Britain loudly chants_

 _And we are his sisters and his cousins and his aunts_

"Good, you've got the rhythm. Now try it with Swiss cheese. Take it from the top." Frank Jr said as he passes Swiss cheese to Stu for him to have practice sex with.

Now we join Stu and Fran on the couch not talking as stewie and Frank were behind the couch with a pocket watch to check on how long they were on the couch.

"I really enjoyed the movie tonight. And I'm not tired at all." Fran said as she enjoy the movie tonight.

"Oh, yeah? Good, good. I enjoyed the movie too." Stu reply as he enjoy the movie too.

Then it went to silence again until Stu talks again.

"Oh, hey, I hear they're extending our store hours until 9:30." Stu said that their boss extending their hours until 9:30.

That cause Frank Jr to face palm for how Stu fail at this date.

"Oh, that's, um-...that's great." Fran said as she feel that this is not working out.

This cause stewie to stern this date and he jump up to say something.

"Let's have sex!" Stewie shouted to have sex with Fran

"What?" Stu said as he freak out why his other self-plan this situation.

Definitely! I'll be right back. Fran said as she leave the room to get herself ready for their sex.

This cause Stu to go behind the couch

"What is wrong with you?" Frank Jr whisper to stewie about getting his older self into this situation.

"I can't go through with this." Stu said in whisper in agreement.

"Why the hell not?" Stewie asked his older self on why he can have sex with Fran.

"I-I'm too nervous." Stu said that he is too nervous.

Until they hear Fran shouted from Stu room.

"I'm putting in my diaphragm!" Fran' said as she's prepping for sex with Stuart.

Now back to the living room of Stu's apartment.

"See? I don't even know what that is." Stu whispers to them that he doesn't even know what diaphragm is?

"Get in there! Get in there right now." Stewie tells him to get in the room right now.

"No! No! I can't, I can't! Stu reply that he can't do this.

Until Frank Jr grab Stu's shirt and get into his face.

"You listen to me. You listen to me Stewart Griffin! You march in there right now and…" Frank Jr whispering to Stu as he then looks into a book and he whisper to stewie to tell Stu what he need to do.

"Insert your penis into her vagina!" Stewie whispering to Stu as he's coaching his future self on how to have sex.

Also Frank Jr gave Stu a pill to drink from his older self.

"Also her take this pill, it will restore everything that you lost and give you the boost you need to satisfy her, Now Go!" Frank Jr shouted him to get in there and get laid.

As Stu wipes his shirt went into the room to have sex with Fran.

Right now, the couple lies on the bed as they cuddle together since it's Saturday night and they don't have anything to do for this day.

"…I usually love Saturday but it really sucks when there's nothing to do." The Adult Stewie muttered out of blue.

"Totally." Fran agreed and they just cuddle before she forms a plan in her head, causing her to feel a little jittery because it might be a little risky.

She suddenly kiss his neck several times and Stu wrap his right arm around her as he kiss her hair lightly, he can feel her left hand trail across his body until it stop over the groin area of his pajama pant.

Fran slowly rub the groin, feeling his member under the pant as she keep kissing his neck softly and Stu's right hand stroke her back for a while before he suddenly slip her pajama shirt off, exposing her breasts.

He immediately fondle with them, alternate between squeezing and massage, while his lover yank his pant down slightly to take a good grip on his hard-on member and he release a moan as soon as Fran stroke his cock faster.

"F-F-Fran…" Stu moaned lightly, "S-S-Slow it down a little."

"Nope." Fran moaned with a smirk, increasing her stroking speed as she kick her pajama pant off after she wiggle herself out of it and she gasp out as soon as the redhead suddenly finger her lower mouth faster with two fingers.

"F-F-Fine then, I won't hold back." The Brownhead smirked at her before he latches his mouth onto her breast's nipple, sucking it lightly as they stroke each other in their own way and they don't know how many minutes have gone by.

"S-S- Stu, c-c-c-can I ride you?" She grinded her hip against his thrusting fingers with a moan and her lover release her breast as he stare into her eyes before he give her a nod. "Y-You sure?"

"H-H-Hai…" Stu panted and his lover place herself in a reverse cowgirl position over his throbbing member before she impale herself down on his member with a loud moan, enjoying the new feeling of his cock inside her maidenhood.

After she get used to the feeling, Fran glance over her shoulder at her lover. "…Ready?" The Brown head gave her a small nod before his lover bounce lightly with a gyrating hip and Stu slowly thrust upward to meet her hip in a rhythm.

"H-H-Harder…" She moaned loudly as her lover thrust into her harder as soon as she bring her hips down, "F-F-Faster!" She kept riding him for a while and before she know it, Stu lean his body up against her back as he change the position from reverse cowgirl to doggy position without any warning.

Stu take hold of her waist before he thrust his cock into her entrance again with a furious speed and he kiss the back of her neck as his lover moan passionately with each thrust.

Fran turn her head slightly to face him before they make out with each other as his arms slip under her body in a hug, the redhead kept thrust deeply into her and they barely realize that he just come inside her a few times.

It wasn't long until Stu pull his member out of her and he land back on his back with a heavy pant as his lover slowly crawls up to his side.

"I take it back." Stu panted heavily, "Today is awe…" He suddenly moan out, it turn out Fran just start giving him a blowjob and the Brown head would say that they were doing it out of order but he don't care about it since he really enjoy it right now.

"S-S-So we're going do it again?" He asked with another moan and his lover just hum with his cock insider her mouth before they resume their lovemaking for the rest of the afternoon.

Until both of them forget since the pill side effects kick in, they lost all their memories of the sex and Fran only remember's bad stuff.

A few moment later they were in bed naked and they were embarrassed by the whole thing.

"I- I'm sorry. That's, um- That's never happened to me before." Stu explain that he never had sex before that bad.

"Which part? The eight seconds of sex, or the 40 minutes of crying?" Fran asked him in bored tone on which part the eight seconds of sex or 40 minutes of crying.

As she didn't notice that her vagina was fill with sperm and she was getting pregnant as they speak.

"Uh, I guess both. Do I- Do I give you money or something?' Stu reply both and ask her if she wants some money.

"Yeah, I'm gonna go." Fran said as she leaves the bed and she get her clothes to leave.

As Frank Jr notice the unsatisfied look in Fran that he realized that he forgotten the pills side effects.

"Oh shit!" Frank reply as his face palms himself.

Meanwhile at Circuit Shack, Stu was back at his counter talking with the babies.

"Eight seconds! That's twice as good as you did in rehearsal." Stewie replu stu record of having sex for eight second and it was better than his rehearsal.

Until Frank Jr notice that Stu's boss came.

"Hey, Stew! I heard about what you did with Fran last night. Y'know, Interoffice sex is prohibited, regardless how hilariously brief and unsatisfying it was. You're fired." Stu's boss at work said that Fran tells everyone about it and stu is fired because of it.

"Fired? Oh, this is not good." Stu said in shocked by this news.

"Oh, dear. This is almost as bad as when Peter got fired as the first director of Terms of Endearment." Stewie said in remarking that Stu being fired is almost as bad as when Peter got fired as the first director of _Terms of Endearment_.

 **Cutaway**

As we see _Terms of Endearment_ as Debra Winger tells her children that she doesn't have long to live in this world.

"Kids, I don't have much time left...and I can't talk for too long 'cause I get real upset." Debra Winger explains that she has not much time left in this world.

This when Where Peter zooms in on Debra Winger's chest as she's telling her children that she doesn't have long to live.

"I want you to make a lot of friends...and be real nice to the girls- They're gonna be real important to you after I'm gone." Debra Winger explain to the girls to make a lot of friends and be nice to them as they were gonna be important to them when she is gone.

"Sweet." Peter said in excitement for see Debra winger's boobies.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now we join the babies and stu drive towards his apartment as he is was piss off.

"Oh, cheer up. You didn't need that crappy job anyway." Stewie said as he tries to cheer up his older self of not need that job.

You are not allowed to speak. You have ruined everything! Stu said as

Nice. I donate my time trying to fix your pathetic life, and this is the thanks I get? Well, it's not the first gift that's ever gone unappreciated. Stewie remembering when Peter got Lois a Galaga arcade cabinet for Christmas.

 **Cutaway**

Merry Christmas, sweetheart. Peter

Oh, Peter, thank you! An arcade-style Galaga machine. Oh, thank you, Peter- Lois said

Move! Peter

 **Cutaway Ends**

Look, all right, I'll admit that maybe things haven't gone exactly to plan. We'll go home and regroup and hit 'em hard tomorrow. Stewie

Good lord! My apartment! Stu

Returning home, he finds that his apartment is in flames.

Looks like the cause of the fire were these stress-release candles. The firefighter explain why the apartment is in flames due to scented candles.

"Huh! *Irony!" the other fire fighter said as he makes a joke about it.

As we see stu looking at his young self with his angry stank face.

* Irony!" Frank Jr said as he repeats what the other firefighter said to make stewie feel worse that he is now.

Now we join the griffin couple of peter and lois at quahog acres retirement home.

I don't know, Peter. This place is pretty depressing. Lois said as she and peter walk around until they heard a familiar voice.

"What are you talking about? It's just like old times.' Old Jake said as his greats Peter and Lois.

Then he leads them toward their old neighbors

"Hey, Cleveland." Old Peter said hello to his friend Cleveland and his wife Donna.

"Hello...Peter." Old Cleveland said hello as

"Hello peter." Donna reply as she rub her husband back.

As they turn to Joe and a young bonnie.

"Hey, Joe, how are things since the operation?" Old Peter asked him on his operation

Oh, great, Peter. Who would have guessed I'd be one of the few not in a wheelchair? I sure do miss Bonnie though. Old Joe

It's amazing they were able to give you her legs. Old Jake

And have them clone a younger version. Also congratulation on the third baby! Old Lois said as she congratulate Joe and clone bonnie on their new baby.

As sixty something-year old Joe Swanson in the year 2035 sings it while flaunting the transplanted legs from his late wife Bonnie Swanson, which looked much too young to match a sixty-year old body, thus still attractive. Then he has Bonnie clone so he can married her and had her pregnant.

 **Joe**

 _Who wears short shorts?_

 _I WEAR SHORT SHORTS!_

Hmm! That turn me on Joe! Clone bonnie said as she drag joe into their room to have pregnant sex.

Now the Griffins turn to Glen Quagmire with his Korean wife Suyjin.

As it's explain that glen went to Korea with his friend a while back and he was reunited with Suyjin. She invites them to dinner and to watch the episode at her place. After dinner, they find the final resolution has Quagmire leaving to return home in America. Peter's comments inspire Quagmire to stay in Korea with his co-star and lover.

The guys try to talk Quagmire out of his decision but he had decided he wants to find himself a new life. They guys drink at a Korean bar and while watching a Korean pop video, they decide to make a music video of their own, pointing out the advantages of returning to Quahog but still fail to change his mind. But when turning in for the night, he finds that her entire family will be living in close quarters with them. This was about to make glen crack until he was visited by woman from his past. They made him realized he never be able to be with a woman if he doesn't face his pain of his past.

He then remembers Tracey Bellings, who is a girl that Glenn Quagmire recounts as his own bully. Quagmire also noted she was dyslexic.

In a flashback set in 1986, Quagmire explains that Tracey derided his choice of RC Cola over both Coke and Pepsi. Their encounter turned into a combined beating and sexual encounter, lasting for an extended time and leaving Quagmire unable to have sex with another girl against her will without thinking of Tracey.

He spot her traveling in Korea as she beat on some Asian girls. This caused Glen to span and he then starts beat her to a pulp.

That's it" Quagmiresaid roughly as he punched Tracey in the jaw.

"Oh..." the Koreans said.

Tracey wiped the blood from her mouth and threw a punch, but Quagmiredodged and punched her in her right eye and in her jaw again.

Tracey's anger built up as she pushed Quagmireonto the gate. Quagmire grasped the gate so tight that it was in his hands. he threw it at Tracey, which created scars on her face.

Finally having enough, Tracey grabbed Quagmire's chest once more and repatingly started to punch his face.

Quagmire couldn't get out of this. Compare to Tracey, Quagmire is weak. he keeps thinking about this as he gets punched by 'Metal Tracey'.

Suddenly, Quagmire found the strength of getting loose.

Once she was released, Quagmirestared punching her in her face, chest, stomach, and head.

He grabbed Tracey's hand and flipped him over.

As she was on the ground, Quagmiregrabbed a blade from his pocket and stabbed her in the chest relaxingly until She faded away into dust.

Silence.

"Oh my god. Quagmirewon" a Korean says as everyone cheered for him.

Quagmiresmiled and wiped the blood and sweat from his face. He looked at Suyjin who gave him a thumbs up.

Quagmireplaced her right foot onto a rock and his left foot behind it. He placed his hands on his hips, looking at the sky, knowing his life had finally begun.

As the guys prepare to leave, Quagmire arrives at the airport with his own tag to the song and joins them, his former lover and her family happy just to be in a K-pop video. He and suyjin leave with them back to quahog and they had a happy life since Jake make sure peter didn't ruin it like the last few time with quagmire relationships.

Now back to the story

"Hi, Glenn. How's your arthritis?" Old Lois asked him on his arthritis

"Good, but since you walked in here I'm feeling a little stiff. Giggity Gig...oh, I just pooped a little." Old Quagmire said as he made a joke until he poop himself and his wife kiss him on the cheek.

"Oh... that's... nas... ty." Old Cleveland said in a slow voice about what quagmire said.

Now we join the babies and Stu at the side walk being sad as they basically ruin Stu life.

"Um, hey, you know what I do when I'm feeling down? I play the glad game. I think about all the things that make me glad. Let's try it, shall we?" Stewie said as he tries to cheer up his older self with playing the glad game.

"Um... Pinwheels." Frank Jr said pinwheels.

"A big wedge of cake from the fair." Stewie said a big wedge of cake from the fair.

"A doodad to wear in your hat." Frank said a doodad to wear in your hat.

But nothing work as Stu was still unhappy and stewie gives up.

"All right, I'm sorry. It's all my fault." Stewie said as he is apologies to Stu and he blames himself.

But stu shrugs it off and take the blame.

"No, it's my fault. My whole life's been a mess ever since that near-death experience. I mean, nothing goes right-." Stu explain that his life was a mess since his near death experience.

This cause the babies to move in shocked as Frank Jr interrupts Stu.

"Wait, wait, wait. Near-death experience? At the community pool?" Frank Jr asked about stewie's near death experience ta the community pool.

"But that was nothing." Stewie said to Stu that it was nothing that could of change him here right now.

But Stu noded his head not to that response and he explain what happened.

\- Well, that's what I thought at first. But around the time of my 20th birthday I started having nightmares. Then my therapist said I've been suppressing some very complex emotions...that may well have caused me to take fewer risks. Stu explains that's what he thought at first. But around the time of his 20th birthday he started having nightmares. Then his therapist said he have been suppressing some very complex emotions...that may well have caused him to take fewer risks.

This cause Frank Jr to think and he responded with a plan.

"Well, then, it seems there's only one thing to do. We must return to the past...to ensure that Stewie never have the close call with that lifeguard tower in the first place." Frank Jr said that he and stewie must return to the past to ensure that Stewie never have the close call with that lifeguard tower in the first place.

With everyone nodded in agreement until Stewie thought of something.

"Oh, I just thought of another one for the glad game. The first scissor cut into a fresh piece of construction paper." Stewie said something to add to the glad game.

"Oh, yeah!" Stu said in happiness with Frank Jr nodded in agreement.

Now we join the trio in downtown quahog as Frank Jr explain his plan.

"Here's what we do. You buy me one of those time-travel watches...and we'll go back to our own time and stop that near-death experience." Frank Jr explain that Stu will by two time travel watches which will the babies used to return back and stop the near death experience.

"I can't afford two. I don't have a job, thanks to you two." Stu said the flaw of the plan since he doesn't have a job to get money for the watches.

"How hard is it to get a new job? Even I had that job at the airport." Stewie said as set up a cutaway about his job at the airport.

 **Cutaway**

"Jonny Quest. Okay. Welcome aboard. Dr. Benton Quest. All right. Have a good flight. Hadji. Hmm. Um, listen, you've been randomly selected for additional screening" Stewie said as he works at the airport.

"But you didn't even type anything in" Hadji argued.

"If it were up to me, you'd be on that flight. But, uh, I'm gonna need you to take off your shoes and that lovely, uh, hat" Stewie ordered.

"Sim-sim-salabim!" Hadji shouted.

"Yeah, I'd cut back on that" Stewie said.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to downtown quahog with the trio.

"We'll have to borrow the money from Mommy and Daddy." Stu explain that they need to borrow money from his parent which cause stewie to get piss off.

As Stewie leaps onto Stew's head and peels back his eyelids

"AH!" Stu shouted in pain

"Never call them that again! It's Lois and the Fatman! Do you hear me?" Stewie commands his older self in agre that he calls his parent by their insult name.

Yes, yes! Stu said yes as stewie stop pulling his eyelids.

Until he smells something on Stu head.

"Smells like Head and Shoulders, but you don't have dandruff." Stewie asked him that his head smell like head and shoulders but Stu doesn't have dandruff.

"Exactly!" Stu reply with a smug tone as both stewie and Frank Jr caught on.

"Aah!" Stewie said with a happy tone.

Now we are back at the retirement home with Tom Tucker and Diane Simmons.

"And now here's Diane with a look at traffic." Tom said as he passes the report on to Diane.

"Thanks, Tom. There was a major pile-up in the ambulatory wing this morning...when one of the residents vomited in the hallway." Diane explains that there was a major pile-up in the ambulatory wing this morning...when one of the residents vomited in the hallway.

"And in international news, I'm fairly certain that Filipino nurse is stealing from me." Tom explain that he is fairly certain that Filipino nurse is stealing from him.

As Frank Jr, Adult Frank Jr, Stu and Stewie proceed to the retirement home where Lois now resides to ask for money to purchase a new time-travel watch

Oh, hey, you two. What brings you here? Lois asked them on why they are here.

Lois, Pablo and Gabriel here needs your help. Stu asked her to help the babies with their fake name.

"Can we drop the whole Pablo thing? Do you think I don't remember my own little Stewie and Frank Jr?" Lois said as she reveals she knew all along that "Pablo and Gabriel" were Stewie and Frank Jr.

"Wow, you just play us!" Frank Jr said in shocked as his clap at her performance.

"You clever, clever shrew!" Stewie said as he congratulate her.

"Frank Jr, Stu, you two could get in a lot of trouble for this. Take them back to their own time." Lois explains to the boy that they could get in a lot of trouble for this and they need to take them back to their own time.

"Well, that's why we're here. We need a loan." Adult Frank Jr ask for money to purchase a new time-travel watches.

Lois complys with by taking out her check book for them to have their money.

Done. This is a secret account Peter can't access. I never could trust him with money. Like the time he spent Persephone's college money on that medieval catapult." Lois said as she explain that this is a secret account Peter can't access. I never could trust him with money.

As this set up a cutaway about Peter spend Persephone's college money on a medieval catapult.

 **Cutaway**

We see peter being shot be said medieval catapult as the scene change to a man in house with lots of stuff.

"Excellent. These dominoes are set up exactly as I want them, right next to the good china. Now I'll just place this priceless Fabergé egg in the center right next to my newborn hemophiliac baby" a man said as he has a nice set of dominoes on the floor.

"Hey, those yours?" Peter asked.

"Yes." man said yes.

"Oh. Those are all really nice things." Peter complimented the man and his stuff.

"Thank you. You hear that, Evan? We were complimented" the man told his son.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Now back to the retirement home with old Lois with the quartet.

"Take as much money as you need, but there's a couple of conditions. On your way back to the past, make sure Chris never marries that bitch Vanessa. And I want a promise that I won't spend my old age in a place like this." Lois said as she requesting of Frank Jr and Stewie that, on their way back to the past, they make sure Chris never marries that bitch Vanessa and that she never end up in a retirement home.

"Oh, believe me, Grandma, I promise you will never end up in a retirement home." Frank Jr said as he promise not to put her in a home ever but not stewie.

As Stewie replies by laughing maniacally until adult Frank Jr interrupt him.

"Acutally, me and Young Me just kill Vanessa at her trailer house a while back!" Adult Frank Jr explains that he and his younger self just just kill Vanessa at her trailer house a while back.

"What!" Lois said in shocked by this news but adult Frank Jr calm her down.

"Yeah, but don't worried since the cops in this time don't check for evident when Joe retire!" Adult Frank Jr explain that the cops don't check for evidence since Joe retire.

We then join the quartet at Quahog Time Travel INC as Stu buy two of the watches to travel back in time.

"All right, let's do this." Frank Jr said but before they leaves both their older selves stop them because they realized something.

"Well, I suppose this is it." Stewie tells his older self that they were about to leave.

"Wow, I just hit me that if you are successful in preventing our near-death experience...it'll turn me into an entirely different Stu." Stu said as he realizes that his history will change if Stewie succeeds, and that they will never see each other the same way again.

"Then you know what you should do? Since the time line is going to change anyway, you should get really fat. Go buy a whole pint of ice cream and shovel down the whole thing. I mean, just really pig out." Stewie asked Stu to get fat by eating a whole pint of ice cream.

"Ooh, that's brilliant! Hey, and if the city thinks I'm paying this parking ticket, they are dreaming! No, I'm not really gonna do it, you know, just in case." Stu joke that he agree and also he not gonna pay his ticket but chicken out at the last second.

While the stewie were talking, both Frank Jr decide to get Stu's job back. First Frank Jr used the hypo goggles to control the boss and he erase his memories of the bad sex and made him give Stu a promotion. Then he erase the memories of the co-workers of the event as well.

Then Adult Frank Jr went to find Fran and he gave the memory antidote to Fran by spiking her drink. As she start to remember her night with Stu, she felt horney and in love. She then leave a text for Stu and she ran towards raid aid to get a pregnancy test.

As the Frank Jr high five each other and they return to the stewie as they said their goodbyes.

"Good-bye, Stewie and Frank Jr." Adult Frank Jr said goodbye to the babies by shaking their hands.

"So long, Frank Jr and Stu." Stewie reply as he shake hands with his older self and the Adult Frank Jr

Until Frank Jr shouts at Stu that he should check his message on his phone.

As Stu check his phone, he finds a message from his former boss.

It tells him that he got his job back then he finds a message from Fran, it reads that she remember the sex and she wants him to move in with her, her PS also tells him that she is pregnant.

As Stu looks surprise as he check inside his pant to realized that his left nut is back and they are big than ever but also he has a big long penis.

Then he waves goodbye to the babies as he run happy toward his new life.

That's when the babies press the button on their watches as they travel back in time.

As they arrive at the wedding of Chris and Vanessa

And if anyone has any objection to this union of Chris and Vanessa...let them speak now or forever hold their peace. The minister asked anyone had any objection to this union of Chris and Vanessa.

That when stewie interrupts him with a statement.

"Uh, I do." Stewie said as he honored the promise by stopping at the wedding, and blowing up Vanessa with a rocket-propelled grenade.

Then Frank Jr rushes towards Amy and tell her that this is her chance to get Chris since he is single now.

"Chris doesn't have to cancel the wedding!" Amy said as she rushes toward the runway.

"HUH?" everybody said in shocked as they notice Amy's fast speed.

"Because I, Amy walker, I'm gonna put this ring on Chris's finger and I'll ask" Amy explained as she kneeled before Chris and put the ring on his finger "Chris Griffin, will you marry me?"

"And I said YES!" Chris cheered, showing off his ring.

As everybody cheers from their seats.

"Way to go, Man!" Teen Frank Jr praised.

"Why you haven't propose me yet?" Persephone asked to John on why has he asked her.

"I made you an ice castle, _Frozen_ -style, don't push me" John reply his answer.

"Congratulations, guys!" Frank praised them on their wedding.

"I'm sure you both will make a wonderful couple" Lois said as she is relive with Vanessa death and she think Amy will be good to Chris.

"So, don't let this keep you from enjoying the reception...where I'm sure they'll be playing the Chicken Dance. So enjoy the Chicken Dance." Stewie said as he calm down the people who were shocked by Vanessa death with the chicken dance at the reception.

As Frank Jr and Stewie travels back in time but goes too far. They arrives in the University of Denver in 1974.

"Damn! I overshot it!" Frank Jr said as they overshot their jump back in time.

Until Stewie knows where they are in time.

"1974. University of Denver. I say, Condoleezza Rice goes here." Stewie said as he explain that they are in 1974. University of Denver and Condoleezza Rice goes here

Then they spot a rebellious Condoleezza is smoking a joint.

"Damn! I ain't never gonna le.t the Man get me down, crazy crackers! Black Panthers stand tall!" Condoleezza Rice said as she seems to be a big supporter of the Black Panthers. At that, Rice grabs a party-goer and kisses her.

"Mmm!" as the party-goer said as she kiss condleezza back.

"Yeeeah!" Frank Jr said in lit john as they travel back again.

As they travels back in time to the day of the accident at the stop'n shop.

Blast! This isn't the pool either! Frank Jr said as they were not at pool either.

"But at least I've arrived on the correct date." Stewie said as he notice a newspaper with the date they were in.

But with Only 30 minutes before the tower falls! Frank Jr said as they try to jump again

But they ran out of battery energy and they notice their past selves in the car driving towards the community pool

Damn! we've got to get to that swim meet!" Frank Jr said as they ran to catch up to them.

They ran pass a garden with round rocks to make a path. Then they ran pass a road toward a neighbors yard. Then they jum into another house yard into a barbecue as Frank Jr steal a drink from a blonde dad with a sun hat.

"Huh?" The blonde dad with a sun hat said in confusion.

Then A brief scene where they run pass two sunbathing women until they return to introduce themselves to the two sunbathing women.

Hi. Stewie Griffin and Frank Mallque Jr. stewie said hello to the orange hair one then to the blonde.

Stewie Griffin and Frank Mallque Jr. Hi. How are you? Frank Jr said as he said hello to the women as well.

Then they run again as they turn around a house then they run pass a man who was leave his home.

"Huh?" the Man said in confusion of these babies entering his home.

They ran pass the man's wife in the kitchen

Smells good. Frank Jr said as he like the smell of what she is cooking.

Huh? The man wife said as the babies left her kitchen in hurry.

Dinner's ready. Stewie said as he tell their guest that dinner is ready.

There is also a scene where Peter almost sees Stewie out of the corner of his eye as Stewie chases after the family car as it was their movie's climax, with the same background music used. They then ran toward another house with a trampoling.

As they jump on a trampoline in slow motion and they see their family arrive at the poop. They park their car and they walk inside as the babies land near a sign that said quahog community pool 5 miles.

As the babies catching their breath.

"Huuhahaa! Probably shouldn't have milked that landing." Stewie explain that they shouldn't have milked that landing.

They managed to reach quahog community pool but they were tired as well by their running until they spot stewie trying to kill Brad.

That when they jump their other selves and explain why they are here.

Don't... press that. Future... 35-year-old virgin... Fran! Fran! Fran! Stewie explain to his past self don't press that button and that he will become a 35 year old virgin also Fran.

"What the devil?" Past Stewie wonders what happened

As Frank Jr kick the remote and stewie smash it with his foot. They manages to prevent Past Stewie from getting crushed by the chair.

"Yes! I did it! I stopped the tower from falling"' Stewie said in excitement

"Who are you?" Past Stewie asks Future Stewie who he is

"I'm you, from the future." Future Stewie responds that he is from the future.

As the stewie talk, we see both Frank Jr's talking to each other.

What the hell is going on! Past Frank Jr asked himself on what going on.

"Well I and my stewie are you guys from week in the future, we met stewie's older self in San Francisco during his vacation. We travel forward into our own future were Chris was married to a bitch chick, mom and dad own our house, our grandparents were in a retiring home, John and Persephone are married, Tyler is a successful writer with a son, Emily is like grandma Lois with a bunch of kids, we have young siblings and Stewie became a 35 year older virgin cause of an accident that we prevented." Frank Jr explain what happed to his past self, John, Tyler and Emily.

"Wow, that's cool dude!" Past Frank Jr said as he is happy with himself.

"I'm a writer in the future, that's boss!" Tyler said as he is looking forward with his future.

"I'm married to Persephone, awesome!" john said as he fist pumps in the air for get his girl in the future.

And I'm a successful house wife, neet! Emily rply as she know she will find love in the future.

Until Frank Jr interrupts them.

"You know what? Never mind, Here, take this time watches and use it for our own time machines." Frank Jr said as he gave his past self the watches for their time machine project.

"But how will you get home?" Past Frank Jr asked himself on how he will get back to his time.

"I'll just use your dimensional portal to get back to my timeline, Hopefully, Dad has another one there for me." Frank Jr said as he explain that he will use the sun door to return back to his era

"Well, um, listen, I just want to say that... well... your assistance was appreciated." Frank Jr said to his future self that he is a great help for changing his uncle future.

"You're welcome, OH and one more thing." Frank Jr said as he leave until he said one more thing.

"Yes?" Frank Jr asked.

"DON'T YOU EVER LET STEWIE SCREW UP THE TIMELINE AGAIN!" Frank Jr shouted as he grabbed him by the collar.

Now back to the Stewie's and their conversation.

"From the future? My word! Did they ever find a successful vehicle for Ellen Cleghorne?" Past Stewie asks Future Stewie if there has been a successful vehicle for Ellen Cleghorne.

"Oh, that's so funny. I asked that very same question and never got an answer." Future Stewie reply that he hasn't got an answer when he asked them.

Well, then you're as disposable as she is! Past Stewie said as he was about to vaporizes Future Stewie with his ray gun.

Until Future Frank Jr jump and redirect it up, he then takes future Stewie by the hand. Then in a bright flash, they were gone.

By changing Future, the trajectory of Stewie's future is changed, without him knowing.

"Stewie! Are you alright?!" Emily asked Stewie in concerned.

"And did I see double of you?" Frank Jr reply as he know what happed in the future.

"I'm fine you diapered shit... Anyway, what you saw may not be concerned nor important." Stewie said annoyed.

"Sometimes, I think you're just cloud minded." Emily said bluntly.

"Whatever..." Stewie said as he walked away.

"Oh, come on, my little champion." Lois said as she takes stewie in his arms. While Meg take Frank Jr in hers.

"Oh, my God! At least have the decency to carry me, you lazy skank! Of course, it is comfortable-." Stewie complains about Lois carry him without decency until he fell asleep.

As The family packs up and heads home, We see Meg meeting a boy who's talking to her about football.

"Hey, thanks again for explaining football to me, Mr. - Sorry. I didn't catch your name." Meg asking him about his name while talking about football.

"You can call me Ron." The boy introduces himself as "Ron,"

"Ron, huh? You know, I've always really liked that name- Ron." Meg replies that she always liked that name Ron.

"Hey, don't you get any ideas of changing genders, Meg?" Frank question her if she getting any ideas of her getting a sex change.

"Are you kidding me, with you plowing me every night, I'm set for life, Sides I'm think of having another kid with that name!" Meg reply to Frank's question

"Well I was thinking of Torra!" Frank said as they leave with their family.

The scene ends with a zoom out of the community pool until the screen fades to black.

 **Chapter ended**

 **Thank you guy for another awesome season of Family Guy MC,** **I hope everyone enjoyed! This is thanking for pen123 and Family Guy Fan writer 15, Thank you all for the cutaway, scenes, favoring, having me on alerts and with that. So enjoy and see you for season 5.**


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